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| -- General Destruction Volume 002 -- |
| |
| After a week up away from Michigan |
| I've returned with a few little trix |
| on how to mess up any hotel(s) which |
| you may stay at while on vacation. |
|______________________________________|
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About this file: This tfile, originally written by The Unknown Witness,
has been re-edited, re-phrased, and re-styled, so that it appears to you in 80
columns, in lowercase, and in the "traditional" DOA format. The file is being
restyled because we felt that it should be rereleased upon the instatement of
the Unknown Witness into DeadMan Operations and Activities. So, we proudly
present to you a retyped issue of his infamous "General Destruction" series -
the second in the series - Volume Two.
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Elevators: (A PRIME source of entertainment!) Get ahold of some
opaque, (nontransparent), tape, and find the photosensor on the elevator door.
Cover this with the tape, and it will prevent the door from moving at all! Do
like so...
--- Elevator ---
|| ||
|| ||
|| <- Door -> ||
|* *|
|| ||
|| ||
----------------
Tape up one or both of the asterisks, (which usually emit some noticable
light from one side, visible if you place your hand or something inbetween.)
Elevators Part Two: You will need as many guys as elevators 4 this...
Go to the top floor and hold the door open, (with the door open button, not
the door switch). Get all of the guys to get all the elevators together at
the same floor as you also, and then tell them to press all the buttons on it.
Take the stairs down to the lobby and sit and watch what happens on the ground
floor... Gets to be quite humorous watching everybody trek up the stairway...
Elevators Part Three: Go to the very top floor of the building, and
press the stop button. Leave, and try to stop up as many elevators as you can
before the management gets suspicious.
levators Part Four: For this, you will need a lockpick, with some
knowledge of picking skill.. Find the keyswitch which reads as follows, "Fire-
Man's Priority," and do your best to pick the case. If you can get it open
somehow, you will be able to control where and when the elevator stops. (At
last, you won't have to be constantly interrupted by walkons.) But, you
should get off within 7 minutes of your "trip," lest you be detected and over-
ridden by the keyswitch found at the main lobby.
Elevators Part Five: Go to the top floor, and jam a tennis ball into
the railing where the doors travel. If you are lucky, the door will remain
open and will prevent any use of that elevator.. I advise you to do this to
all of the elevators, so they cannot use one to go up and repair it.. Use the
stairs and go down a floor or two to avoid unwanted detection.
Escalators: Press the emergency stop button and stop the thing..heh..
really makes an "impact" on the older, more unbalanced passengers! Also, try
the following: As the step in front of you is raising brace your foot to
support it. At the end of the ride, the escalator won't be able to lower the
step, and it will act as an elevator jam! Another way to accomplish this is
by bracing your foot against the right or left sides of the escalator, so as
to misalign the alignment grooves. Another "nonchalant emergency stop..."
HousePhones: Prank everybody in the hotel, tell them that, "there
is a problem with the database," and they should, "come down and reregister at
the front desk."
Cable Descrambler: The cable boxes which use a key that you can
purchase from the front desk are easily picked with a paperclip and some time.
Also, with these kind of boxes, it is very recommended to get a maid's key,
which is available in many locked laundryclosets. "But how do I get in if its
locked?" you ask. No, you don't have to pick it, just wait. Sooner or later,
one will be left open, just walk around the hotel, and when the maids are
relocating sheets, they will leave them open for the simple reason that it
makes life easier without having to unlock-open-close-lock it everytime they
make another trip. A few seconds are all you need to get a key, and get into
a room, and "borrow" somebody else's cablekey.
Another kind of cable unit frequently used in hotelrooms is the kind that
bills you automatically once you select a channel. Get this open, and try to
find the set of dipswitches in the rear of the unit which tells the front
desk which room to bill, and have phun at a fellow occupant's expense!
Room Service: Since in most hotels, the switchboard cannot trace, you
can order room service to every room in the hotel.. Also, you can order your
food to another room while the occupant of that room is out. (Remember, you
have that maid's "master" key!) Accept the food, and don't forget to tell him
to add a generous tip onto the bill. Nobody will know anything's amiss until
they try to check out...ahem.
The Sauna: A quick, easy, but always entertaining way of clearing out
the sauna is by pissing into a bottle or tub, and quickly dumping it onto the
rocks. The heat becomes unbearable, and the smell...ooh...
General Planning: (Should have come at the beginning, eh?) Well,
always have some sort of a backup person/alibi/excuse to get you out of
trouble if you're caught or pursued. While I'm on the subject..
When running from security people, use the elevator as much as possible,
because you can throw them off by riding a floor down, running two up, etc..
Also, always make sure that you aren't seen running from your last prank, this
is sure to make people notice that it's you who is causing the havoc - always
remain cool, calm, and collected. Remember, if you're ever caught, pleading
stupidity is a clear way to freedom -- the customer is always right!
The lobby is NOT the place to mess around in. Use the top floors, it
takes security a lot longer to figure out what's going on up there. Also, do
not mess with fire alarms, it's a federal offense, and isn't humorous, (xcept,
of course, at 3:35AM..)
Use the courtesy and lobby phones to your advantage, they're free, and
can come in handy when having to locate somebody. Also, if you can get access
to more places to explore, try the service elevator, it's usually not far from
the regular elevators, most often near the kitchen for room service delivery.
Ignorance is a good excuse here, again, "I really thought it was a public
elevator, sir..." Also, this elevator usually has access to floors that the
normal "peasant" elevator doesn't, they're always phun to phuck with. The
roof, basement, and machinery room are a few x-amples of "phun locations"
which are usually accessable thru the service elevator. If you can get to any
of these locations, search for the backup diesel generator. Activate it and
the combined power from the prime and secondary generators will provide you
with a rather impressive fireworx display...
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That's about it...if you have any questions/complaints/hallucinations/
comments/pangs/attractions on anything in this file, you can get in touch with
me at the Kangaroo HQ AE line, the number as listed below. Also, tell what's-
his-face that I sent ya, and tell him that the new name sux and that it is
corny, and he should change it back to "Beyond Reality..!"
- Unknown Witness
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"General Destruction" is a TradeMark of DeadMan Operations and Activities, Inc
- Watch for more G.D. volumes from the Unknown Observer! -
(K)opyWrong 1986 All Rights Phucked!
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_| This file was Written by: The Unknown Observer |_
| Edited by: Riff Raff |
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<*> This Has Been A Guest-Authored D.O.A. TextFile Presentation - (K)1986! <*>
Call these fine AE systems...
Kangaroo HQ AE Line . . . . . . . (313) 851-0435 10megz, 300bd
Terrapin Station AE . . . . . . . (505) 865-0883 4dr, 3/12bd
The StarShip AE . . . . . . . . . (215) 572-1628 3dr, 300bd
The CaveMaster's AE . . . . . . . (212) 535-8144 10megz, 3/12bd
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