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No clue what I am doing. This is a test run.
Slowly figuring things out.
Got this idea from a good friend.
6/11/22
Currently 1am. Wondering if I should sleep at all tonight. Although I wonder that every night.
7/11/22
I woke up to a friend request from someone I thought I'd never speak to again. I don't know how to feel about it.
Sitting down thinking about school and the exams which start on Tuesday, if I don't do well my mother will kill me. I'll do my best; I always aim for the best. I have to.
Thinking about people i have known in the past and reminding myself of our friendship and memories. But my current friends are better, I couldn't ask for a better best friend, we said if we are both not married by the age of 40, we shall get married and have an open marriage. It's nearly been a year since we became best friends, the time flew by.
17/11/22
It has been a good few days since I last updated my blog and others.
20/11/22
Watching one of my best friends singing her heart out to some songs, of course i joined in.
12/12/22
I always tell people im busy almost all the time, and sure that might be true, but sometimes im busy doing nothing, when I say im busy, what I really mean is, my mind is busy.
Spoken to an old friend today, didn't realise how different we are to eachother, people say opposites attract, but others say they push eachother away.
My mother asked me why i liked thunderstorms so much, in which i replied, "Because it shows that even nature needs to scream sometimes"
14/12/22
I am just patiently waiting until the Christmas break so I can finaly breathe. I am getting an Oculus Quest 2 and I am so excited to the point where I keep watching youtube videos about them, the Oculus will almost be my escape from reality, I will just put the headset on, and I will be in a different world, a different mind. A mind that isnt going through the same shit.
I am listening to a podcast by the name of "Get your shit together" i clicked on it the second it came up in my notifications bar.
22/12/22
I need to take a break from everyone, im sick of being pushed around and used as basicly a slave just because I happen to be the youngest in the family but yet I feel like an adult. My body therapist says I have an old mind on young shoulders, I know too much for my age.
Aside from all that, I am making PIZZA SUBS! I hope they arent burning while im typing this.
25/1/23
I got the worst news of my life the other day and honestly, I dont know how to feel, I dont know how im going to live after Febuary. Im going to be back in the same sad routine as I was in in first year.
Speaking of first year, allow me to take the time to explain how it was for me, beginning of the year: went from friend to friend to friend until I met S. Best friends for 2 months until they backstabbed me and betrayed me randomly. Then I had no one, absolutely no one, I woke up, went to school, not a word said to me all day, repeat for 7 months. I was an outcast, the "Quiet" kid as some will call it. S told me that the only reason she was friends with me was because she was bored waiting for N to come back to her, so she used me to pass time. Then I was constantly insulted for months and told no one. Up until i met E towards the end of the year, now I cant imagine a time without her. 2nd year has been fine (although S still hasnt stopped fully) Up until now, my grades have been okay but I will try improve anyway, I say that but yet I know Ill just sleep all day.