💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › occult › OTO › letter5.occ captured on 2022-07-17 at 09:49:45.
⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-12)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Saturday, July 12th [n.y.]
Dear Aleister,
I am quite unable to find the O.T.O. papers. I saw them at
Richmond, I think, in London at Morton House. But I have repeatedlly
looked there for them, it is useless to ask anyone else to look for
me.
Today I have had an exhaustive & exhausting search in all my
papers here.
Can I have a fresh copy!
I enclose [L]4-4.
I think I am not sufficiently instructed to take such a
responsible job in U.S.A. I will do some work on it & you will
judge.
The Adjustment is being queer with me. She has, after all,
insisted on being Beardsley! Also Harlequin comes in & out of it so
I must have to submit. But why Harlequin? Is there any connection?
Also she won't sit down but stands on her toes just balanced. The
design-result is good. That blue is cobalt I take it. The
instruction says Blue-Blue green. Pale green Emerald. That Emerald
is a vile pigment in poster paints.
I like the idea of a weekly letter on the Chinese Yi. Also as
told to an idiot appeals to me & is frightfully good for you.
I feel I am on the move. The back of the Card will be done next
& the re-printing of mount.
What about the enlarged set of replicas. A big work but it can
be done.
I have sent you only 1 throw-out in order that you should not
become parcel-bound. You can have more.
I am so glad you are a bit better but I do think those bouts of
asthma must exhaust you.
The dentist at Stroud writes "Please let me have a pack of
those cards of which you show me the photographs. I can't get them
out of my mind." Which shows him!
Yours somewhat anxious about O.T.O. Papers
Frieda Harris
Dec. 11th [n.y.]
Dear Aleister,
Thank you for your letter I will reply later to that.
I am sending you a sample of the top of the surround of the
card as I have written "Swords" at the top. I find people cannot
tell Trumps from Swords or Cups from Disks so I propose to write
Swords, Cups, Disks, Wands, Trumps at the top. Owing to the black
out I think this particular sample Swords is too dark it should be
the same colour as the mount not to show so much. I may be able to
wash it down but I have to horde [sic] this mount as I can't get
any more--please return this one.
I have done as you suggested to the Swords. Thank you "Mr
Crowley". You were quite right.
Ever yours--
Frieda Harris
[P.S.] Tried again got it right by sponging only not quite the
texture I want--others will be better!
[n.d.]
Dear Aleister,
I have been struggling with a bad cold & the Lovers--the latter
begins to cheer up. I haven't decided whether I'll come back & brood
on the Fool or stay here. It depends on the crisis, the Austrian
Servants but I'd rather stay here.
Can you tell me where there are 92 elements according to the
Russian Mendelkeef (is it)? Also what do you know about Lilith. I
can't find out anything & believe I asked you before & you would not
attend to me. I can't make anything of the no 92. That is why I ask
you.
I hope you are all right.
Yours sincerely,
Frieda Harris
Cotswold House Hotel
Chipping Campden
Glos
Woolstaplers Hall
Chipping Campden
[n.d.]
Dear Aleister,
Please--I am working on the Fool & I've done the Lovers so do
not tartly say I am having a long holiday!
The caravan is a great success. Most cosey & so much easier
than a house. Your explanation of Lilith is not enough. She is a
piebald wench & not to be trusted but in some ways Eve is a Krugley
[?] Queen when compared with her.
I am glad the Falconer has caught your Hawk & that you are
happier.
I will struggle with the Fool. He does writhe about. I can't
see him. Has he got any children with him & is not his bag a
jester's balloon? That innocent gaiety asks for the brush of a saint
& my lines come out like treacle. I wish I could paint in crystals.
Yours sincerely,
Frieda Harris
[n.p., n.d.]
Dear Aleister,
I hope you are alright. I don't think you were at all lucid
about Lilith or the 100 years dead Russian however I hope you were
preoccupied with writing. I have been looking at Tao Teh King. Yes
it is an excellent book & like everything you write, only could have
been done by you & a most profound & lucid bit of thought. No
wonder you function so vilely on the living plane?
I am grappling with the Fool which continues to give me a gad
foot so that I can't walk except in a club-footed heavy way. Also
the caravan is fiercely cold & presents many obstacles. I have a
studio also fiercely cold & without any furniture except packing
cases, but that is a help. Directly the Fool is in a form to be
submitted to the Right Worshipable Master, I will return to the
Petrolitis in which we all endure.
Yours sincerely,
Frieda Harris
[n.p., n.d., mid-winter]
Dear Aleister,
I do hope it is going to come out, I am simply sweating. That
Fool won't stand still & I do hope it is going to be alright &
you'll be satisfied. I can't do it well enough--every sort of
obstacles, damp weather, intense cold, an impossible situation of
living in a caravan in mid-winter. I am more than duty [sic] but I
dare not leave as I must do this as well as I can without
interruption & I can hear the rumblings of a tumultuous world
through the apple trees. If only it is alright. It has got all the
symbols only I've never seen any traditional card like it & it has
gone so far from the little bearded man which it never was for it
appears to me as Christ & Budha [sic] & Harpo & Pierot [sic] &
Harlequin & the giant Pandah & every other foolish & adorable person
& or course I can't make a pastiche of all those tho I try & indeed
now I have forgotten how to spell.
Why haven't I got living fire which could weave musically
these beauties. I can't do it with pigment I want poetry & music &
light, not coloured chalks.
I do hope you're serious about this. You must be, you couldn't
have written Tao Teh King with yr. tongue in yr. cheek even with
your beastly cleverness & adroit subtlety.
Yours sincerely,
Frieda Harris
140 Picadilly
W.1.July 9 [1942]
Dear Kerman,
The Tarot is an Atlas of, and Guide Book to, the Universe. It
has been my daily study since Feb. '99, and my researches have cost
me several thousand pounds.
I have long determined to construct a pack embodying all the
new knowledge gained from Anthropology, Comparative Religion, & so
forth.
Lady Harris offered to execute the cards from my designs. It
was agreed that I should have a 2/3 share in the venture.
From my rough sketches & descriptions, under my continual
inspection, subject to my constant correction--I made her do some
cards over again 5, 6 even 8 times in one case--she made the set now
on show at the Berkeley Galleries. (There is one exception: the card
numbered I was not shown to, or authorized by, me. I suspect a trick
in this.)
She has damaged the property by offering it for sale at cost
price, thus alienating the libraries & booksellers, and reducing my
2/3 interest to nil.
I value the copyright at something like [L]20000. (A crude,
vilely drawn & coloured, ignorant, inferior pack, published in 1902
or thereabouts, has sold over 1000 copies every year since then at
15/- a copy. I am quite sure that these admirable cards, with my
book on the subject, which was to go with them in an ornamental box,
would bring in far more annual receipts. I have a large following in
U.S.A.--they send me [L]50 a month or more--which is growing
rapidly. Especially now my "Hymn for Independence Day" has been set
to music, and will be broadcast by the Cultural Garden League of
Cleveland, Ohio, on Aug. 9. There is also my Free French song (proof
enclosed). And the invention of the V-sign will ultimately benefit
my work.
I want first to establish my 2/3 claim in the copyright.
Secondly, my controlling interest in the cards themselves. If
necessary, damages for her sly, underhand, sneaking, dishonourable
and dishonest action in giving this show without my approval, and
destroying the whole value of the copyright.
N.B. The property right is actually vested in the O.T.O. (Mr.
Karl Germer 1007 Lexington Avenue New York City is my Grand
Treasurer General, and we had perhaps better sue in his name.
N.B. Lady H's real motive is to conceal her 4 years' close
association with me! Rather silly, then, to provoke a lawsuit!
I shall ring up Saturday A.M. early: perhaps you could lunch
with me.
Yours sincerely,
Aleister Crowley
P.S. A friendly settlement is being tried; don't do anything until I
see you again. A.C.
Thursday, May 5th [1943]
In reply to [yours of] Sept. 2nd received 2nd post today
Dear Aleister,
I think we should find it easier & prevent any friction for us
all, if this Miss Lopham, Lopham, Backett, Gill Chancery, Staple Inn
Holborn acts for me. I have written to her to communicate with you
at once & I think you will find it a great assistance to you as you
are not well, if she consults with you & puts us all wise on the
legal aspect & can interview Houghton for you. You can always
telephone to her. She is very sensible & knows my wishes & has
already met Houghton & been to Museum Street.
I hope you will find this satisfactory & will help you with the
responsibility.
I can always come up to London but as I am not a business-
woman, I am more likely to be obstinate in the wrong place than an
indifferent outsider, & if the contract is not carefully watched,
one of us will be accused of unfairness, so I think you will agree
this will protect us both.
I do wish you were better.
You say "I propose to arrange the terms of the contract with
Mike (you don't mention this at all, by the way, tho you should have
got my letter last Friday by the first post) so that (a) you are
relieved from the curse of the stipend (b) that I am enabled to see
the job thru myself--I feel sure that London is the place."
1. I never received a letter saying you proposed to arrange the
terms of the contract.
2. I have never complained of the stipend as you have always given
me so much in return.
3. I don't know what you mean about "London is the place."
[remainder of letter apparently missing]
[n.p., n.d.]
Dear Aleister,
I am sorry I have disgruntled you. If you mean the experience
of moving furniture I have a very varied one!
I am working hard, have done No 10 & No 9 Swords & nearly No 6.
I get frightfully stiff what a bore. Also I'm reading hard books
I've had no time for. This is a blessed relief, I hope I'll be able
to stay here & catch up a bit.
Now about Locke. Shall I write to him?
There is this curious old Rabbi, a student of the Kabala &
Numbers, a distinguished old scholar. I am guarantee for his
evacuation of Vienna & he is living at Staines.
Dr Muller
Melrose
Seacroft Staines
He wants to get a little work.
"He is a deep student of Hebrew."
He is in touch with Dr Saxl of the Warburg Institute.
Is he any use to you or to me & can you help him?
I believe he is rather remarkable. If you can do anything will
you write to him? I can't do much from here. I wonder is he any use
on the book as he's turned up several times in my path lately.
Have you finished Mercury? I read your notes yesterday, the new
ones. There's a lot from the original script that you gave me which
is missing. Can it be compressed in?
I'm worried about Mercury. I am only see him as I've drawn him
not so tricksey as you seem to know him. However I'll try. The Fool
[?...] up with him more than I want.
Yours ever,
Frieda
[n.p., n.d.]
My dear Aleister,
I haven't written in as those Swords are plaguing the very
devil with me. I can't get on--I've just finished the 8--now 10-9-2-
8 are done also nearly finished 3 but I keep on first with headache
& frightful fatigue, then fall down & cut my leg then burn my thumb
then your furniture aerial raid & the folk what fixes the gas stove
so that I am constantly driven to brandy or lying on my bed. So I
don't get on altho I feverishly wish to. Today I can't work--left
eye hurts like mad, it will be all right tomorrow. I must have tried
to finish the 8 in a bad light & did not notice--also [?...]
I am thinking a lot, at least I can attempt to think, but must
you send me 2 copies of all your work which necessitates so much
sorting. {?...] this afternoon. I can deal with it. I have been
thinking that the book would be lovely if it had opposite the
different trumps & playing cards a place like a photo-album where
the card could be slipped in instead of a separate pack. I find when
I read the script to Ann Christie she understands much better if I
give her the photograph of the card to look at all the time. perhaps
that will make the book too big but what a de luxe? Yes I sympathize
with your lethargy over the Tarot. I can scarcely bear these small
cards, so difficult to do so {?...], & all the time such awful
listening-in to the world conflict that I could scream. No I think I
must go thro with it & get them all done. The Lord of Science isn't
bad to do & interesting. The 3, the Briah dark sea, seems to me to
be most unpleasant! What about her? Send a line. I am going to do
the 6 & 7 at once--if I can stop getting sick & see too. Early
blackening is such a bore they are fiercely nosey & war-[?...]
here having nothing to do & I am, as usual an object of suspicion to
the Police & can't manage their changing regulations. Germany has
won any way so there is no {?one in my Wing]. There is no freedom &
the [...] smash-up all because of the feeling--don't-you-know--
there's a war-on has come to stay while the [...] up about the
streets in their helmets & truncheons & [...]-the-children. I hear a
woman was looking round the hotel for [...], no sugar thank you. I
have given up taking sugar, in my tea for the duration of the War!
One must do one's bit! And feeling I have reversed into 1914 I
mechanically put 6 lumps of sugar in my tea when I prefer it
without! One must maintain Balance in this unnecessary World. The
Ivory Tower is very thick. How goes your pigstye?
Yours in some distress,
Frieda Harris
[n.p., n.d.]
Dear Aleister,
I have been trying to sort the various typed papers I have
received from you on the Tarot.
The Trumps descriptions are complete.
The 9 Wands are separately described.
The 9 Cups " " "
The 9 Swords " " "
The 9 Disks " " "
The 4 Sword Court Cards are separately described.
The 4 Wand Court Cards not
The 4 Water " " not
The 4 Pantacles " " not
The 4 Aces are separately described.
________________________________________________________
Probably you have the missing ones but if not ought we not to
have a complete list?
________________________________________________________
I think I sent you the original notes you made on the Fool
asking you if you could incorporate some of it in the new notes
which I have. If you don't agree, anyhow let me have the original as
I like it best.
________________________________________________________
The Prince of Disks is a devil. I've been a whole week on him &
he is engendering a nervous breakdown in me coupled with starvation
as he gives me no time to eat. He is a bastard.
However I hope I have caught him today. He swells & swells & I
can't get him in the picture with all the farm produce & bulls you
suggest. Re the curtains--I have had some promised to me, have a bit
more patience I am on their track.
I like Sullivan better than the American Bum. Did you write the
latter? He is quite a nice person, but rather lopsided & has only
one means of approach & so do his chums. Pen won't write so I can't
think. I do hope you are better.
F. H.
Rolling Stone Orchard
Chipping Campden
Wednesday
[n.d.]
Dear Aleister
Got back Tuesday instead of Monday.
I am sending you the notes on the aces.
I haven't got them quite clearly in my head.
You say in your note on the Disc Ace.
Inside 0-10.
" 10 heptagrams
" 7 [drawing of mark of beast]
That is not clear to me. I know that the form is to be
[drawing]
About the Sword Ace
You mention an inscription to be done on the blade. Arabic
Damascened work. What is it? I have your weather chart-design.
________________________________________________________
I shall go on with the Fire Princess but please answer by
return as I feel I want to do the Aces.
F. H.
[n.p., n.d.]
My dear Aleister
1. I can't find Magick, Cap 0, on mathematics & philosophy of
0=2.
2. Is Vesica-piscis really the womb?
3. Why are there 72 decanates--72 names of God. I can
understand 36--3 houses for each zodiacal sign & anyhow am I to
divide the Universe into 72 parts? You say stars of the Zodiac--are
the stars to be the signs or the actual constellations?
4. Phallus & sun I understand. Kteis=? Moon--what is Kteis?
5. Which (of any particular form) is the Uraeus Serpent?
6. "The general meaning etc. Hence it is [ZOP in Greek]" does
that mean Azoth.
7. What is [HVAI in Hebrew]?
8. Can you get me any book which is simple on geomancy &
Watkins will send me the book if you would order it.
Keyte met me yesterday. He described you as "wonderful" so his
estimate of you was well-balanced.
I have been stodging up the remaining cards. The fortress or 4
Pantacles is well on the way.
Mercury is fussing dreadfully. How I should like to do them all
again. I am faintly beginning to understand what you are driving at.
Those 4 aces are going to be a riot.
It is so cold that I'm quite warm. (That is real A.C.)
Yours
Frieda Harris
[n.p., n.d.]
My dear Aleister,
I am a bit worried. The princess is behaving most queer! She
won't have any nice tidy lines & I really don't know if she will be
alright. She is certainly no relation of the first sample submitted.
I think when I have smacked her, I shall have to post her to you, &
you can tear her up or retain her as she strikes you. Oh dear I am
tired. I have battled with her blaring wriggles till the eye falls
out & she has burnt my throat & I can't swallow.
Now then.
No 2. Miss Bach has unearthed some form of Raven for the
Writing Desk to sit at & I think if I remember rightly it is a solid
feathered type but not a polished scion of old family. But perhaps
thrusting the knee in the aperture between the phalanx of drawers
you can! No! this is getting like the Princess, out of control.
I hope anyhow your honorable self will be satisfied.
Chang!
(Chinese note of inquiry)
[remainder of letter possibly missing]
[n.p., n.d.]
My dear Aleister
How difficult you are, so hopelessly muddling your finance is
unbearable & so is mine. Please do not explain & try to make matters
clear. They are not.
But for your magical retirement--bon voyage. I enclose the
coming week stipend & [L]3 & hope that will & should pay off the
hotel where you have stayed with your incorrigible grand manner &
perhaps you will be able to sink down in peace. I cannot spare any
more so don't worry me any more please. I do hope you are going to
have a lovely time. I envy you--I hope you will be able to bear it.
I can't redo the princes just now, I can only think about
painting a hen. I may try later but I'm stale on the Tarot & please
send me only notes on the Yi King not a volume of efforts to save my
historical sense or alter me because I am just going to find my own
way with questions to you, but on certain arguments with you it is
no good battering me with oaths & reasons.
Yours
F. H.
[P.S.] Please tell me if you wish to be left in silence for some
time.
[fragment from same period as previous letter, n.p., n.d.]
[Frieda Harris to Aleister Crowley]:
I have got the rejected copy of Atu XX.
Now would you like it as a present? I have meant to give it to
you for it is your Stele and you though it satisfactory enough to be
undecided whether to use it or the one we decided on. But now I
don't know whether it will be an additional burden to have any
possession?
I can't do anything about [?Murran] at present, because Pucy is
trying to arrange for me to go & spend a week-end with Liman (who is
at his country-house) & take the cards to show him before I go any
further with C & H.
Can you tell me a bit about the cone & the parabola.
Yes! I've looked in the dictionary.
Page 342 Magic Lection 4.
But I would like some more.
[...]
[end of fragment]
[n.p., n.d.]
My dear Aleister
All the Swords are finished & the 10 of Cups nearly, but I have
difficulty in getting the cards stretched. The picture from Michael
Just has not arrived so I can't show a sample to anyone. Will you
send on the enclosed letter to him as I have not got the correct
address here. I tried to insure the cards, but the valuation I put
on them ([L]1500), they wish to have some assurance that that is the
price for which I am selling them. They asked for Mr Just's address
& I could not remember it.
I find all this a bit up-hill. I am in solitary confinement,
doing my own house-work etc., not too bad only when I emerge from
this concentrated effort to do the cards & feel very peculiar.
Now for the pantacles.
Do try & answer me about the Aces. I feel broody about them. I
keep on thinking about those 4 elements & their mightiness & I fell
drowned in water, burnt with fire, cut by the air & dug into the
earth. The air feels to be the most solid & dead of them all, which
is odd, as it is supposed to be so light. No blood I suppose.
I can't make out the Tree of Life
Kether
Binah Chokmah
(F.) (M.)
then it seems to jump round & have below the Abyss the position of
the m[asculine] & f[eminine] altered, they swing over. Am I wrong? I
want to put on the left the receptive side & the power on the right.
I can't classify anything. More time here to think, but reading
tires my eyes. I suppose this will be done soon. At it again
tomorrow. Have you ever realized how much I have given up for this
work? Everything I possess & now I am become a nothing in a
wilderness.
Yours very tired
F. H.
Morton House
The Mall
Chiswick
[n.d.]
My dear Aleister
I have left at Morton House all my notes for the end of the
work. They are all together & were on my painting table. The Lord
knows where they are now. The geometrical designs all worked out &
all your notes & everything in order. I had them in a pink cover &
must have combined them with some spare copies. Please ring up &
insist that they find them. They may have been put in my cupboard as
I know they have been tidying up. They must be registered I can't
get on now, it is frantic.
Yours ever
Frieda
Morton House
The Mall
Chiswick
[n.d.]
Dear Aleister
No one can find my notes. Can you have typed & sent by return
all the swords except 3 swords, all the pantacles & the notes on
Queen, Princess Prince Pantacles with any of your remarks. Please
look carefully. Also 10 Cups missing & the notes on the Universe.
(These "notes" were dictated by A.C. to F.H. mostly in the
garden of Morton House. [Note by A.C.])
I do hope you have duplicates. Someone must have taken them out
of my case & they are so war-minded at Morton that notes &
manuscripts don't seem important & they are not able to understand.
I feel very ill.
Frieda
[P.S.] Steptoe must send me another photograph of the 2 of swords
also lost with notes.
Morton House
The Mall
Chiswick
[n.d.]
Dear Aleister
In enclose week stipend & also the 3-3 for the book. O.K. on
you as they don't say in literature.
Yours sincerely
Frieda Harris
Morton House
The Mall
Chiswick
Tuesday [n.d.]
My dear Aleister
I have been haunted all night by your complicated mind. You
really ought to have a [...] & if I may humbly draw you attention to
the fact that paper is only a surface & can't be made to hold things
behind & before, altho you, wrapt in the Spirit, can walk all round
them. Temperance is a kettle of fish, & listening to Beethoven last
night I realized what a fiasco he made when he tried to convey all
he knew in the last movement of the 9th & thereby giving up a
glimpse of the transformation scene in the Pantomime, instead of the
Pure Light of Heaven, having already led us thro the many coloured
lands. But forgive me, only I feel nervous. I think, looking at the
finished cards you will remember all the sequences you have
forgotten & I shall be crushed by alterations which will confuse the
structural design & any spectator without your knowledge & so suffer
little children to come unto thee & confuse them not by too much
symbolish & stay thy hand from poor Frieda's tormented visions.
About your Yoga book, another please forgive me.
Would it not (if you are publishing yourself all these already
beautiful books) be an idea if youy didn't have an edition de luxe
for the moment--as it would save expense. I believe if you give away
these books to friends. They are quite lovely enough to ornament any
library & be treasured & we are in such a state of transit that we
can't take heavy luggage in our aeroplanes.
Yours ever
Frieda Harris
Morton House
The Mall
Chiswick
Dear Aleister
I have just been reading your Tao Teh King. For goodness sake,
do try with those Trumps. There is no-one who thinks in the lucid
way you do, my little paltry cards are lost unless you illumine them
by your Art & for the sake of those poor little struggling chickens
squealing like Alice in the Looking Glass jury at the Grand Trial
Scene. For their sakes con you not have the courage to do another
masterpiece. But you feel ill. I know how feeble that makes one
because one doesn't make a plan. However I'm relentless, I'll go on
till you drop because it is worth it. The Poem, the preface are
magnificent.
Yours in admiration
Frieda Harris
The Golden Cockerel
Chipping Campden,
Glos.
Dear Aleister
Just got your letter. You will know I have the notes, but how
you got them out & sent them & none of those chuckle-heads at Morton
House know yet that you have done so, is indeed a mystery.
I am better, I know you are quite right, my spiritual state has
been sadly neglected, perhaps because I have been trying to paint &
live Percy's life at the same time.
Now these circumstances are giving me a chance. I have had 3
days rest, the first in 2 years & I've even had time to read a bit
of Magic & try to assimilate yr. book. How satisfying to ones inside
hunger. That old doctor told me I looked spiritually half starved &
you son't believe until the last 2 days I have not had time to feed
myself.
Now my reputation as a coward & shirker will protect me I hope
& I have had an opportunity while I have tried to cut the jungle
round my caravan to look at these glorious apples & pears on my
trees. They are so miraculous & so beautiful.
______________________________________________________________
I understand you & [Justy?] are juggling the furniture. Good.
Please I would like my own bed & pillows, eider-down & blankets, 2
arm-chairs a table to use in the back dressing room as it was Mothers,
a writing desk, the green dressing table in the bath dressing room
will do--a wardrobe from the maids room green & lined with giraffes
& any cupboard that can be spared & also if possible the carpet in
[,,,]
[remainder of letter missing]
Rolling Stone Orchard
Dec. 11th
Dear Aleister
I have made several attempts to write to you, but have been the
victim of uphjeavals in the domestic surroundings, & even now,
having assembled a warm fire, or chair, a cup of tea, I simply can't
climb down my ladder & fetch writing-paper, so please forgive this.
I am sorry you are so seedy. I have been thinking you were, but
today you seem better again; are you? I rather wish you would not
stare at the sword photographs in the middle of the night.
I have done, as you suggested, & it looks better but it is
exceedingly difficult to alter these cards, as I can't match the
colours without great effor, I think it is alright now.
Just imagine what happened (Mercury is in a very ape-like
mood). I found the waste-pipe from the fixed basin leaked. "Aha"
I sead in the words of a well-known poet, "I'll fix it by giving the
nut a tap with the hammer!" And so I did & the whole porcelain basin
cracked & has had to be wrenched from the wall by a horde of
plumber-demons & I have spent a day of discomfort & displacement.
However the Princess is now on the stocks. I wish she would not
insist on being pregnant. She just will, so now I have let her get
on with it. She chatters to me about being mixed up with the Virgin
Mary. Anyhow I am having a good time with the trees & if you don't
like the design I am, at least, [...] it myself.
I can't, can't fine the 93. You say Equinox of the Gods page
138. There is not one in the edition you gave me. Hullo! just turned
the page & see unnumbered extra page & there is 93, but it is almost
as indecipherable as your letter. What is III[deg] ++++ oh dear! it
is awfully obscure. [ABTz in Hebrew] The Fool. The Wheel of
Fortune--the Devil in the Tarot. Then you say leaving aleph to join
path of [He] I take it you mean "He" the Priestess [sic]. Do you or
don't you--I really do understand all this better, if I am
unconscious!
All the same, apparently I prescribed correctly for Pussy,
because I wrote & said all I gathered from thinking into her, was
that she was awfully tired, & please would she come & stay a few
days and not talk, only sleep.
But you misjudge her, she is really a generous brave person, a
magnificent friend, and not a sentimentalist when she is not trying
to think. So please respect her, in spite of her conversational
perversity. I am going to stop & do some of that boring printing.
The man-to-frame is now waiting, but it is so difficult to see at
night, & I want to paint by day.
Yours obediently
F. H.
[P.S.] Just one thing more. I have been working at a life of
Mahomet. He does seem a strange Hitler-like person. Can you be
bothered to write a few words about him?
Morton House,
The Mall,
Chiswick.
[n.d.]
Dear Aleister,
I am very sorry but I am unable to protect you from yourself.
Out of the inextricable confusion of your real & bugus financial
affairs I find only one thing--that you will always be in a muddle &
that to attempt to help you is like filling a leaking cistern & I do
not propose to begin to do so. I have told you, always, I have a
weekly allowance & that my lessons from you are saved out of that &
I cannot draw from the Bank more than I have, & if I can't pay for a
thing I do not buy it.
Anything in the nature of a speculation is quite foreign to my
nature or my pocket. Your campaign of giving people too much to eat
& drink in order to placate them in the Great Work is all wrong, & I
expect you know it. If only you could be simple & dignified, people
would flock round you to get what they really want in these hard
times--that is the help of a colossal brain but, instead you cook
for them because you are bored by them, & incidentally would like
them to produce the wherewithal to stock your fantastic restaurant &
cellar. Can't you stop--I suppose you can't. I think partly Peggy
was bewildered by you eloquence, & ordered for you kitchen a great
deal more than any one can afford. This is not my affair, but please
do not try to get me to help. You prevent me from doing what I would
like to do &, that is work on the Tarot Book with you, as I
absolutely refuse to be entangled by your efforts to boost an
absurdity. What a pity. I fear even now the work will be unfruitful.
The House of God appears to me as vortex not a mouth, or is it
yours which can't be filled by mortal effort try as you may.
Yours sincerely,
Frieda Harris
[P.S.] I can only spare you the subscription as I will not ask for
money for myself or anyone else but I will send it registered
tomorrow with Thursday's stipend.
Morton House,
The Mall,
Chiswick.
Dear Aleister,
I wrote to you last night in a bit of a hurry. All my papers &
books are still a bit mixed up tho I have the Tarot in safety, but
my hand is still stiff & not good for work.
Thank you so much for your Tarot writings. They are so good &
so dynamic that I got quite elated as I read them & found muself in
a whirl, in fact I had to put them away. In particular I find the
general character of the cards...most illuminating. I do
congratulate you. The Great Work is indeed in progress. I do wish I
had fire & air & water & earth to draw with.
Directly I have put up these fussy black blinds for which I am
haunted by the Police & got rid of some jungles of grass I am going
to work like mad, the Aces won't do, & what I am to do with Mercury
after your description I can't think. Leave it like Michael Angelo
did the face of Christ. But I wonder if those heavy arms are hearly
right. He is a powerful god. Surely the Ape should move, not the
Eternal Figure. What do you think? I am so grateful to have a change
to try & help yr. labours.
__________________________________________________________
Would you go & see Michael & ask him to send to Yates at once
the sizes of those pictures he has from the edge of the mount. Yates
is bothering me to give him the exact size as he can't get on with
the albums. I have no mounted pictures here. If you don't require
the blankets in Miss Falconer's room, may I have them. I am cold
here.
Please don't come down yet--I am not ready & I should only get
fussed & nervous. Not the week-end too for everywhere is crowded &
Pucy is about perhaps.
I am rationed for petrol so I can't fetch & carry you. Some of
these privations like petrol & night-lights are lovely. The sky here
at night is glorious & one's eyes are rested by the absence of
trumpets of illumination also no-one can come & see one after dark--
what a chance reading & solitude. Ye Gods what treasures!! I am
limited to 3 minutes on the telephone price 2/ any time. I don't
think we can buy 2/ of conversation in that time?
How is the asthma? What a mess the flat must be in. Could you
not rope in someone to wash the floors & the bath & the sink & the
stove? In despair perhaps Mrs Blanch could speak to Hughes who works
once a week for her & he might come up after he has done her work.
He is only slightly dirty.
Yours ever
Frieda
[P.S.] I do agree about Miss Falconer & her like, they are my curse!
[beginning of letter missing]
Can you tell me why this happens if you hold 3 eggs in your
hand, 2 fresh for sure, & you pat the lowest egg in the palm of your
hand thus
[drawing of procedure]
If the middle egg is bad it won't move, if it is fresh, it will turn
round. I can't see why. It does it alright, even I can make it do
it, but why?
This place is full of interesting people & things I like.
Except rats which apparently infest this farm building.
Yours
F. H.
[fragmentary letter, no opening or closing]
Do clear up the Tree of Life for me & don't be satyrical or
funny. I am all alone & I get worried.
Kether
Binah Chokmah
Geburah Chesed
Water? Fire
Tiphereth
Hod Netzach
Earth Air
Yesod
Malkuth
Now have I assigned the elements correctly or don't they go on
the Tree? I can't find them in the book on Magic.
I may have Yorke's No 8 but in that case you may have mine. Do
you remember we had 2 copies at Morton. Now I have only 1 & I
believe you took the other with you to work from at Charlie's flat.
Will you please look. Also Mrs Ashment has my 777. Which I want
here. You will not confuse it with yours as when I lent it to her I
red pencilled the things she had to copy for the index. I'd be glad,
like Yorke, to have my Crowley Collection Complete.
The 10 is coming out very well. I do realize had I had the
strength to isolate myself entirely I could have done it better only
the eye-sight is a great trial. I could scream with looking & after
it is done, shall take a long course of black-out. Are you suffering
as much as I am? Really the obstruction to laying this wizard's egg
is remarkable. I feel like going to bed & dying. No I'm well & very
very vegetarian, Is I find I may not guzzle & work but oh! I am
weary of work.
Had a week's absolute solidary confinement, waiting on myself.
That'll learn you Frieda Harris No I prig.
___________
[another fragment, possibly follows here]
I am very glad the Tao book is coming out at last. I do hope it
will have a great reception which it needs. Good luck to the Work.
What a work too!
__________________________________________________
The flail I have is like this
[drawing of flail]
In wood. It is rather lovely. I should prefer to use it. But anyhow
the Knight must stand as he is for rejection or acceptance as he
won't be any other way. I can't make out if he is alright or not.
Please don't frighten me with the Sword suit. I have obeyed in
every way. I can't see how they can be wrong. The 3 was a fair
horror & great suffering. I am glad to be seated on a pantacle but
there are streets of work to do. I ought to be printing the names &
not writing letters at all.
I find the cooking of my food a great relief. When I have tried
till my legs ache, to go down & toy with a legume is great
recreation. I find just now no alcohol & no meat keeps the headache
awau & walking when I can leave this nigger-driving labour.
Now, please stop being so peevish & see the other chap's end of
the stick. Yes! I know yours. I've done all I can, but I wish you
wouldn't believe that you need not be sincere to me. For pity's sake
Aleister, stop being so clever, your man of the world side, I can't
understand it is no use--oh! philosopher & master lost!
Yours fraternally
Frieda
[fragment, no opening or closing]
I think I had better have some new notes on Justice. There are
the Dove, Raven, Lamed, Sword, balances, anything extra, headdress
of Isis?
____________________________
Do you remember Fox & the others liked this best also Jameson &
so do I!
I should have liked to returned one card in the pack which
incorporates what I felt about the Deities of the Tarot--they have
no individual forms & faces in my conception & vision of them. Those
appendages are stuck on afterward to please you, but are not part of
the design as it presents itself-- & I could easily take them out of
all the pictures without spoiling them.
In justice to me as `The Woman Satisfied' perhaps it might
remain [...]
[end of fragment]
[fragment with no opening or closing]
I say, what about the Fool's colours--Air won't do.
You are [?partly right] with your vacuum.
I have marked out in my colour scheme--
Bright Pale Yellow Sky Blue Blue Emerald green, Emerald flecked
gold but surely I can use the purple dark blue, pale blue green,
yellow, orange, red of the rainbow.
At the top of the chart are 10 colour sequences which we don't
seem to have used much. We did combine them in the 1st plain card of
wands & then what with the governing planet & zodiacal sign we
stopped. Anyhow I can't paint brilliance, white brilliance, can you?
The telephone is 3/ for 3 minutes. Can you get [?] worth out of
1 minute? No we cry being Scotch.
[end of fragment]
[isolated fragment]
I made the curry tonight not quite right & rather painful
inside.
Please address letters to Rolling Stone Orchard Chipping
Campden
[end of fragment]
[undated postscript separated from relevant letter]
Added to my letter last night
I have just been looking at your manuscript part of Mercury.
You mention 8 fold star--composed of 4 fleur de lys with rays
like antlers bulrushes in shape between them. The central core has
the cupher of the G.M. but not the one you know.
Upon the cross (what cross?) are the Dove the Hawk the Serpent
& the Lion.
Would you like me to try the Star, it has a pictorial
fascination for me but could you be more explicit?
Your vision is truly grand. I begin to understand it slightly.
Also you say 6-fold Star in the Vision. Now which is it you
want represented or both.
I had 6 in the last picture.
[end of fragment]