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PART Twenty OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS
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Subject: Spam Jake Day
SPAM JAKE DAY -- A Summary
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By Reverend Brother Lee Harvey Oswald Smith, KSC WMD SPAM
Episkopos, John Friedrich Cabal, Discordian Society
1) WHAT IS A JAKE? (AND WHERE CAN I GET SOME?)
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A Jake is defined as part of Operation Mindfuck. Basically, it involves
a lot of people collaborating to send a lot of weird stuff to some
bureaucrat/official/someone somewhere, asking for some information/help/
whatever, preferably in an obscure or unusual way. The letters are timed to
arrive on the same day, and to make the bureaucrat/official/etc. think
that either he is the target of a global conspiracy of lunatics or the
general public are much more imaginative than he has previously thought.
2) WHAT IS THIS SPAM JAKE?
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The plan: on Spam Jake Day (the twenty-third of May, 1994), a lot of
mail will arrive at the headquarters of Hormel Foods, the manufacturer
of Spam, from all over the world. This will be from various Discordian,
SubGenius and other weird religious groups; on official letterhead
(which looks rather weird), and from people with long, bizarre religious
titles. Each letter will claim that the sender's own group is the
original Church of Spam (with appropriate embellishments), and
requesting official endorsement from Hormel Foods as such.
3) HOW DO I GET INVOLVED?
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If you wish to be involved in this global mindfuck, all you have to do
is write such a letter, in the name of your religion/conspiracy (if you
don't have one, found one), adding any embellishments you may wish to
add and send it to:
Hormel Foods
Corporate Offices
1 Hormel Drive
Austin, MN 55912
Send the letter before Spam Jake Day, if possible timing it so that it
arrives on Spam Jake Day. The rest is fnord up to you.
[JR: Note to Johnny Vee: I didn't put that fnord in there.]
4) WHAT WILL THIS ACHIEVE?
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With luck, somebody at Hormel will find their desk inundated with
curious missives from all sorts of strange groups from all over the
world asking for official sanction for some esoteric activity involving
Spam, or, in the parlance, "weird shit". Unable to dismiss this as a small,
localised prank they will be very much puzzled by this and possibly
shall attain illumination from the shock. Candidates for official
approval may receive interesting replies; furthermore, the media may pick
up on this, distorting it and adding further chaos to the equation.
In any case, the ripples of this should be felt far and wide, if enough
people get involved.
5) WHY SHOULD I GET INVOLVED?
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Because if you don't, ye shall verily be transformed into a
Precious Mao Button and distributed to the Poor in the Region of Thud.
Or not.
--
Reverend Brother Pope Lee Harvey Oswald Smith, KSC WMD SPAM
Episkopos, John Friedrich Cabal; High Epopt of the Secret and Terrible Rite
Chairperson dei gratia, Flat Earth Society -"In your heart, you know it's
flat" President-for-life, Don't Let Lieutenant Wilkes Breed Society Society
Think about about -><- Stop casting porosity -><- Keep the lasagna flying
===================================================================
Sub umbra Alarum tuaram, Jehova.
---Fama Fraternitatis,
----Allgemeine und general reformation,
1514
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Froot loops is not Religous, Religion IS froot Loops.
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Sylabus of The Collegiate Froot Lopus University
Tetrapyloctomy Department
Location: Unknown
A School of Comparative Irrelevance, Where useless of Impossible courses
are given. The Schools aim, is to turn out scholars capable of endlessly
increasing the number of unneccesary subjects.
The Tetrapyloctomy Depts purpouse is to Inculcate a sense of irrelevance.
The Adynata or Impposibilia Dept purpouse is Urban planning for Gypsies.
Courses are offered in:
Morse Syntax
The History of Antartic Agriculture
The History of Easter Island Painting
Contempary Sumerian Literature,
Montessori Grading,
Assyrio-Babylonian Philately,
The Technology of the Wheel in pre-Columbian Empires,
The Phonetics of the Silent Film
Crowd Psychology in the Sahara.
-Furthermore:
The essence of the discipline is the comprehension of the underlying
reason for a things absurdity.
The Oxymoronic Department: dealing in Matters of self-contradiction.
Courses include:
Tradition in Revolution,
Democratic Oligarchy,
Parmenidean Dynamics,
Shermanite Miracles-proving something happened, that cannot happen.
Heraclitan Statics,
Spartan Sybaratics,
Tautological Dialectics,
Boolean Eristic.
Grammar of Solecisms.
Send now for the Prospectus, and Aquire a Scholarship, and a set
of valuable Wind-chimes!