💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › REAL › rpg3.txt captured on 2022-07-17 at 02:57:00.
⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-12)
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REALPIRATES DON'T...
Do a backwards job and give out a
game that doesn't work.
Copy anything with 1541 Backup.
Buy books to learn how to hack.
Put three thousand nicknames in the
beginning of a program.
Take credit for copying Jumpman.
Eat three regular meals.
Ever get eight hours of sleep, even
on weekends.
Call each other by their nicknames in
public, private, or any other time,
for that matter.
Think a cartridge is unbreakable.
Send booty lists on every single disk
they ship out.
Forget to test a program completely
after they think it's broke.
Don't use words like phuck, or try to
be immature by putting such words in
loaders and stuff.
Don't use the 90 second format to
format a disk.
Put messages in programs like "Please
copy this as much as you like."
Worry about the FBI tapping their
phone.
Copy programs at work or in school.
Know or care about structured
programming. They actually avoid it
like the plague.
Tell someone they have something and
then say otherwise.
REALPIRATES DO...
Live on nachos and coke.
Reprogram games to make them
"playable."
Take apart computers and drives at a
moments notice, because of the
possibility that one of them might
have a little problem.
Dream of sailing the seven seas,
looting passers-by, and maybe gutting
a liberal or two.
NEVER get phone bills for prices higher
than the cost of the computers that
cause them.
Try to jam six games on a disk, even
by cutting out loaders.
Use self-modifying code, especially
in loaders, to make them take up one
less block, run 20 nanoseconds
faster, or to confuse other pirates
who are trying to figure out what they
did to break the game.
Forget the day of the week, and
sometimes the month.
Know what "phreak" means.
Stare their monitor for all hours of
the night.
Obtain copies of copy programs three
weeks before they're released.
Still complain about the time your
average three minute copier takes to
copy a disk.
Detest compiliers, even though they
still break games done with them.
HATE someone that says they have a
"decompiler."
Play a game until they never want to
see it again.
Constantly run out of disks, no
matter how many they buy.
Have the kernal vector table
memorized by heart.
Laugh when they see a copy program
for "archival use only."
Forget the last time they spent money
on a game.
Wonder why Commodore can build a
computer and then not be able to find
a good way to protect games on it.
(Though they hope they don't find out)
Have reset switches, Fastload
cartridge, memory switches, and other
junk added to their computer at no
extra cost.
Have access codes for bulleten boards
that allows them to get past the
trivial wimpy stuff and on to major
software collections.
Call each other on the phone and have
normal conversations.
Solve Infocom adventures without
cheating.
Have ten billion programs to
reproduce errors on disks.
Know what terms like Half-track,
Imbedded Track, and Sync Characters
mean.
Realize that only a 13 year old
would be upset over some comments in a
text file.hwello