💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › zzzmodem.txt captured on 2022-07-17 at 02:38:49.
⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-12)
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NEW VERSION OF FOREM BBS SOFTWARE ---------------------------------- A new release of FoReM ST arrived yesterday. Among the features is yet another new file transfer protocol, 'ZZZMODEM.' This new protocol transfes data in blocks of 16 Megabytes, giving it the largest block size of any file transfer protocol in the Known Universe. The checksum for each block in a ZZZMODEM transfer is sent via XMODEM, for greater accuracy. "This new protocol will allow us to transfer data at rates up to one one- hundredth of one percent FASTER than by any previous method," explained Phil "Compu" Dweeb, a FoReM aficionado, pausing occasionally to wipe the drool from his chin. Industry insiders were quick to point out that using ZZZMODEM, it takes roughly 2 hours and 25 minutes to transfer a 20K file at 19,200 baud. Mr. Dweeb said that this problem has been dealt with. "Each block is padded with nulls, which take no time to send," he explained. The new version of FoReM ST also has the new "Recursive ARCing" feature. As Mr. Dweeb explains: "All download files are recursively ARCed by FoReM before being put online. Our experience has shown that when you ARC a file, it gets smaller. Therefore, the approach we have taken is to repeatedly ARC the file until it reaches a size of roughly 10K. At that point, it's hardly worth the trouble, wouldn't you say?" Reportedly in the works for a future release is the patented "One Length Encoding" process. Early reports suggest that this procedure can reduce the length of a file to just 1 bit. Mr. Dweeb takes up the story: "One day we were sitting around doing some hacken and phreaken, and one of us started thinking. All binary data is encoded into bits, which are represented by ones and zeros. This is because a wire can either carry a current or not, and wires can therefore be set up in a a series that can represent strings of ones and zeros. "Notice, however, that the real information is carried in the ones, since the others carry no current. I mean, what good does a wire do when it isn't carrying any current? So by dropping all the zeros, you can easily cut file sizes in half. So we decided that a cool way to speed up data transfer would be to only send the one bits. The results were phenomenal -- an average speed increase of 50%!! "After we finished the initial implementation, we kept finding ways to make the thing faster, and more efficient. But then we realised that we hadn't gone all the way. If you think about it, after you drop all the zeros, you're left with a string of ones. Simply count all the ones, and you're left with another binary string. Say you end up with 7541 ones. In binary, that's 1110101110101. So immediately we've reduced the number of bits from 7541 to 13. But by simply repeating the process, we can reduce it further. 1110101110101 becomes 111111111, or 9, which is 1001, which be- comes 2, which is 10, or 1. Once we reach a string length of 1, we have reached maximum file com-pression. We now have the capability to encode virtually unlimited amounts of information into a single digit! Long- distance bills will never be the same! "Now, that's not to say that there aren't a few problems. The biggest one we have encountered is that for some reason, there seems to be a certain amount of data loss during the re- conversion process. It seems that sometimes the file cannot be expanded into its original form. So, the solution we came up with was to have an encryption key associated with each file. When a One Length Encoded file is received and is undergoing decompression, the unique encryption key must be supplied. That way, we end up with a 100% success rate in our conversions! "A problem which we are having difficulty resolving lies in the fact that to ensure a 100% success rate, the encryption key must be exactly as long as the original file. We are confident, however, that the use of our Recursive ARCing procedure will help to solve this problem..." X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm) & the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845 Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649 Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766 realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043 Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102 Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives, arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality, insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS. Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are, where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother. "Raw Data for Raw Nerves" X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X