💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › zany232.art captured on 2022-07-17 at 02:38:42.

View Raw

More Information

⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-12)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-


------------------------------------------------------------
I  found this on a well-known mid-western BBS.  Thought  I'd 
share it with all my good friends at FidoLand.

Juan E. Jimenez, 103/511, 1/110
Micro Consulting Associates
Newport Beach, California

------------------------------------------------------------
                  DL-232 -- A New Standard
------------------------------------------------------------
                       by Dave Lyons
    (CompuCenter Iowa: JoeApple; CompuServe 72177,3233)
------------------------------------------------------------

I  may  never  understand how the designers  of  the  RS-232 
"standard"  for serial communication managed to use 25 wires 
where only 3 are really necessary.   Maybe they made a  deal 
with the companies that make cables,  connectors, and switch 
boxes...I just don't know.

Well,  I  thought  of a few things that the RS-232  standard 
lacks,  and since there are already so many extra signals, a 
few more can't hurt anybody,  right?  Heck, let's go for 50-
pin connectors and cables and add the following new signals.  
(Just  to  make  sure this isn't  compatible  with  any  old 
equipment,  all  OLD  signals  are moved up one  pin  number 
(Carrier  Detect becomes 9 instead of 8,  etc.,  and pin  25 
goes to pin 1).


 Pin  Name      Description
 ---  ----      -----------
  26  XCAT      Should  be connected to chassis of  devices.  
                Used  with  the  next  two   signals,   this 
                provides protection against cats who haven't 
                learned  not  to  walk on  floppy  disks  or 
                serial equipment.  This signal should supply 
                about  2000  volts  (at a VERY  low  current 
                level; wouldn't want to HURT the cute little 
                thing, just teach it not to walk on anything 
                in the computer room).

  27  CATGND    Cat ground.   Used with pin 26.  This signal 
                should  be connected to another part of  the 
                chassis or the tabletop.

  28  CTD       Cat detect.

  29  SD        Self-destruct.    This  signals  causes  the 
                device to destroy itself.

  30  SDACK     Self-destruct   acknowledge.    Acknowledges 
                that the device has destroyed itself.

  31  VADIC     This signal indicates to a computer that the 
                device on the other end is a modem that uses 
                VADIC  protocol.  (Note:   CompuCenter  Iowa 
                users  should jumper this signal to  SD  and 
                then buy a decent modem.)

  32  STBIT1    Stutter bits.   With pin 33, sets the number 
                of  "stutter  bits" (0 to 3 of them)  to  be 
                included before each byte transmitted.  This 
                may  reduce  the number of people  who  feel 
                inferior  to  computer equipment by  showing 
                them    that   computers    have    problems 
                communicating with each other.

  33  STBIT2

  34  CABR      Cable  ready.   It's not enough to know that 
                the  Data  Set is ready (DSR) and  the  Data 
                Terminal  is read (DTR).   We also  need  to 
                know  that  the  CABLE  connecting  them  is 
                ready.

  35  GRR       Gremlins ready.  Not everybody knows it, but 
                there  are  little  green guys  inside  most 
                modern computer equipment.  Most of the time 
                they  sleep,  but  other  times  they  cause 
                trouble.  The next 6 signals are for dealing 
                with gremlins.

  36  220A      Used  with pin 37,  supplies 220 volt  power 
                for the gremlins' air conditioning.   On hot 
                days  when gremlins  can't  sleep,  applying 
                power to these pins may solve your problems.

  37  220B

  38  110H      110  volts,  hot  side.   When the 220  volt 
                power  doesn't  help  and  gremlin  problems 
                persist,  use this with pin 39 to supply 110 
                volts  for the gremlins' TV and  video  game 
                center.

  39  110N      110 volts, neutral side.

  40  MOON      Indicates the phase of the moon.   Sometimes 
                solves mysterious problems.

  41  LHI       Pins  41 through 45 can be used to implement 
                the "like" protocol when the normal  RTS/CTS 
                protocol isn't enough.  This one means "Like 
                HI" and is used to establish a connection.

  42  LHTY2     Like HI to You Too.  Acknowledges pin 41.

  43  LLTT      Like Listen To This.  Requests permission to 
                send data.

  44  LOK       Like OK. Grants permission to transmit data.

  45  LWOW      Like WOW.  Acknowledges receipt of data.

  46  HEY       Pins  46 to 50 may be used to implement  the 
                "Eighties"  protocol when RTS/CTS and "Like" 
                protocols won't do the job.   This signal is 
                similar to RTS (Request to Send).

  47  NP        No Problem.  Acknowledges HEY.

  48  HUH?      Signals that data was not received correctly 
                (possibly wrong number of stutter bits).

  49  YEAH      Acknowledges data received.

  50  KMG365    Like YEAH, but for avid Emergency One fans.


That makes 50!  Let's hear your suggestions for MORE serial signals.
Maybe we can get 100 and REALLY make the cable manufacturers happy.