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AOLer's Diary
Unknown
July 18- I just tried to connect to America Online, which I've heard is the
best online service I can get. I can't connect, I don't know what
is wrong.
July 19- Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem.
I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he
think I am?
July 20- I bought the modem. I couldn't figure out where it goes. It
wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused.
July 21- I finally got the modem in and hooked up. That three year old next
door did it for me.
July 22- That three year old kid next door hooked me up to America Online for
me. He's so smart.
July 23- Whats the internet? I thought I was on America Online, not this
internet thingy. I'm confused.
July 24- The three year old kid next door showed me how to use this America
Online stuff. He must be a genius, at least compared to me.
July 25- I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but
nothing happened. Maybe I need a microphone.
July 26- I found this thingy called USEnet. I got out of it because I'm
connected to America Online, not USEnet. I went to the doctor
today for my regular checkup. He says that since I connected to
America Online, my brain has mysteriously shrunk to half its normal
size.
July 27- These people in this USEnet thingy keep using capital letters. How
do they do that? I never figured out how to type capital letters.
Maybe they have a different type of keyboard.
July 28- I found this thingy called the USEnet Oracle. It says that it can
answer any question I ask it. I asked it 44 sperate questions about
the internet. I hope it responds soon.
July 29- I found a group called rec.humor. I decided to post this joke about
why the chicken crossed the road. To get to the other side! Ha Ha!
I wasn't sure if I posted it right, so I posted it 56 more times.
July 30- I keep hearing about the world wide web. I didn't know spiders grew
that large.
July 31- The oracle responded to my question today. Geez, it was rude. I
was
so angry that I posted an angry message about it to
rec.humor.oracle.d. I wasn't sure if it posted right, so I posted
it
22 more times.
August 1- Someone told me to read the FAQ. Geez, they didn't have to use
profanity.
August 2- I just read this post called make money fast. I am so excited, I'm
going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and
posted
it to every newsgroup I could find.
August 3- I just made my signature file. Its only 6 pages long, so I will
have to work on it some more.
August 4- I just looked at a group called ALT.AOL.SUCKS. I read a few posts
and I really believe that AOL should be wiped off the face of the
earth. I wonder what an "aol" is, however.
August 5- I was asking where to find some information about something. Some
guy told me to check out FTP.NETCOM.COM. I've looked and looked,
but I can't find that group.
August 6- Some guy suspended my account because of what I was doing. I told
him I don't have an account at his bank. He's so dumb.