💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › thepasca.txt captured on 2022-07-17 at 02:35:53.
⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-12)
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the Pascal Programmer and the C Programmer
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By Shooting Shark - Tiburon Systems. 6/24/86
Summary : Never mind...
Favorite Shirt
Pascal programmer: Izod Pin-Striped button down. $34 at Brook's.
C programmer: Hanes T-shirt with message: "Life is like break-dancing. I
can't do it."
Favorite TV Program
Pascal programmer: Toss-Up between "Family Ties" and "Murder She Wrote."
C programmer: Toss-Up between "WWF Hour" and "David Letterman."
Most Exciting Thing That Happened To Him Last Summer
C programmer: Got laid by a gorgeous blonde 4 hours after he met her on
the beach.
Pascal programmer: Found a clock card at a swap for only $8.
Best Programming Achievement
Pascal Programmer: Wrote relational database for VAX under VMS.
C programmer: Super Star Wars simulation game, once he gets it finished.
Pascal Programmer: makes $28,000 annually after taxes.
C programmer: Could make up to $35,000 if he came into work more often.
Time He Does His Best Work
Pascal programmer: early in the morning, like 8 a.m. to 10 a.m.
C programmer: early in the morning, like 3 a.m. to 5 a.m.
Favorite Editor
C programmer: vi.
Pascal programmer: TECO.
What he'd like to write
Pascal programmer: An electrical system management program for large
factories.
C programmer: an automatic password hacker that dials his home phone number
and leaves a message on his answering machine whenever it hacks a
password.
Pascal programmer: Currently grad student at Stanford.
C programmer: Went to Heald for a while. Read the K&R 'C' text.
Pascal programmer: shaves with a Remington Micro-Screen that his father
gave him.
C programmer: Uses a new Bic throw-away every three days.
Pascal programmer: Has a Labrador Retriever named Rex.
C programmer: Has three cats and a goldfish.
Pascal programmer: Drives a Honda Accord.
C programmer: Would drive his VW if he could afford to get the transmission
fixed. Now he rides his ten-speed.
Pascal programmer: appalled by movies in which insane drifters murder
college coeds.
C programmer: seeks them out.
What He Does on Sunday Morning
Pascal programmer: drives down to the 7-11 and picks up a newspaper.
C programmer: Walks down to the 7-11 and buys a "Big Gulp."
Pascal programmer: works as a software engineer for a silicon valley
firm.
C programmer: Puts together and sells IBM PC clones.
Pascal programmer: owns a Compupro S-100 system with 256k RAM and 35
megabyte hard drive and a 1200 baud modem.
C programmer: owns two Timex-Sinclairs, an Atari 600xl, a Commodore
64, An Apple //e (with a 2400 baud modem) and a Commodore Amiga. Has an
Imsai sitting in the garage.
Job Security
Pascal programmer: Has been told he'll make Vice-President since his
Accounting Package is selling so well.
C programmer: Has patched 3 logic bombs into the company VAXes operating
system. His way of saying, "just wait until they fire ME!"
Pascal programmer: Went to the University last week to hear Niklaus Wirth
speak on "Hashing as a database table lookup method."
C programmer: Has a season ticket to the University's Women's Basketball
games.
Pascal programmer: Gets up at 6:30, eats a bowl of Grape Nuts, walks his dog,
then drives to work.
C programmer: Wakes up at the crack of noon. Except when his cat jumps
on his chest at the ungodly hour of 10 a.m.
What He Does on a Saturday Morning
Pascal programmer: Changes the ribbon on his lq printer, then takes the
kids to the park.
C programmer: Takes apart his joystick, then cruises down to the beach.
That's it... (for volume one, at least.)
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