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March 14, 1992
SAFE-FAX.ASC
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IMPORTANT RULES FOR SAFE FAX
Q: Do I have to be married to have safe fax?
A: Although married people fax quite often, there are many
single people who fax complete strangers every day.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Q: My parents say they never had fax when they were young and
were only allowed to write memos to each other until they
were twenty-one. How old do you think someone should be
before they can fax?
A: Faxing can be performed at any age, once you master the
correct technical details.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Q: If I fax myself, will I go blind?
A: Certainly not, as far as we can see.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Q: There is a place on our street where you can go and pay
for fax. Is this legal?
A: Yes. Many people have no other outlet for their fax
drives and must pay a "professional" when their needs to
fax become too great.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Q: Should a cover always be used for faxing?
A: Unless you are really sure of the one you're faxing, a
cover sheet should be used to insure safe fax.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Q: What happens when the wrong buttons get pushed and I fax
prematurely?
A: Don't panic. Many people fax prematurely when they
haven't faxed in a long time. Simply start over. Most
people won't mind if you try again.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Q: Sometimes when I fax, it's the other person who isn't
fully ready, so that faxing doesn't work right. Is
there any solution for this?
A: There is only one solution here: always be very patient
and compassionate with your fax partner. Talk them
through it carefully, and apply lots of fax-play before
you start. Explain to them the importance of pressing the
F Spot before you begin, and show them how to do this for
themselves.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Q: Recently a completely unwanted fax was transmitted into my
office. Does this constitute rape? And if so, can I
bring charges and sue the responsible party? Would I be
able to collect damages?
A: So far our police departments and our justice system do
not take fax rape too seriously as a charge, even though
we all know that many people suffer greatly from this
heinous crime. Concerned citizens are now taking steps to
combat fax rape and faxism in all its forms, so write your
Congressman and hold on to your evidence. The legal
climate surrounding this offense may soon change.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Q: I have a personal and business fax. Can transmissions
become mixed up?
A: Being bi-faxual can be confusing, but as long as you use a
cover with each one, you won't transmit anything you're
not supposed to.
* * * * * * * *
NOTE: This text, originally posted as "FAXHUMOR," was edited by
the current uploader.
The latter and his wife have presented well-attended and
professionally recognized sex education workshops in many
parts of the US and in Canada. They therefore realize
that this text could cause offense among some of those
concerned with the issues raised by both AIDS and rape.
They sincerely apologize to any such individuals but
also feel that the need to introduce some note of humor
into today's difficult sexual climate outweighs these
considerations.
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Jerry W. Decker.........Ron Barker...........Chuck Henderson
Vangard Sciences/KeelyNet
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