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⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-12)
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-- IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN AIRLINES --
If operating systems ran airlines:
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then jump on and let
the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again, jump on
again and so on. This is the DOS airline.
The same thing but with more leg room to push. The DOS with QEMM
airline.
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket
agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you
ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't
want to know, and everything will be done for you without you having to
know, so just shut up. This is the MAC airline.
To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by
standing in ten different lines. Then you fill out a form showing where
you want to sit and whether it should look and feel like an ocean liner,
a passenger train, or a bus. If you succeed in getting on board the
plane and the plane succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a
wonderful trip...except for the times when the rudder and flaps get
frozen in position, in which case you have time to say your prayers and
get yourself prepared before the crash. This is the OS/2 airline.
The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards and
stewardesses, easy access to the plane, an uneventful takeoff...then
BOOM! the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever and you're dead.
This is the Windows airline.
Everyone marches out on the runway, say the password in unison, and form
the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing
sound like they're flying. This is the Windows NT airline.
Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece
by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building.
This is the Unix airline.