💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › ollie1.hum captured on 2022-07-17 at 02:30:51.
⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-12)
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Following is a highly classified document of an intergovernmental electronic communication. Only those NSCBBS users who have received security clearance (Part XXVIIa, sect. 4953Z86.1101) are authorized to view this highly sensitive material. If you do not have Global Quickscan and Teleportation privileges on this board please hit "N" immediately! [transcript follows]: LOGIN: _________________ Password: jellybean Checking security authorization... Clearance secured - THIS IS A TOP SECRET NATIONAL SECURITY INTELLIGENCE TELECOMMUNICATION DATA TRANSFER NETWORK SYSTEM. Please use a different password here than you do on other systems. WELCOME, OLLIE! Waking up Mr. Mailman!..... You have mail waiting! Read it now (Y/N)? Y Msg#: 114539 [Seq#10683AZ3.3] Subj: DEL *.* (Y/N)? From: FAWN Date: 11/25/86 03:01:26.55 Sweetie -- Hi, when're ya gettin back, lover? I've been up all night trying to find the stuff you're talkin' about. Ya know, the phrases "Bonzo ok'd" and "give to R/W party" show up on SEARCH all over the friggin' system! Oh, some guy named Pete Norton (?) keeps calling, says he thinks he can help "if the price is right." What party does he belong to? Loved seeing you in the new leather uniform! Bye, FH p.s. Ya see, I told you, size isn't everything. Command?: A)uto reply K)ill D)iskwipe S)hred > D .......wiped. Msg#: 114576 [Seq#10613RR2.6] Subj: Drug Abuse From: BONZO Date: 11/26/86 08:00:00.00 Ollie: Aaa, uhh, have you had any luck, aaa, getting me s'more stuff? My stash is low. I mean, you said the contras have plenty, and we're payin' 'em good. Need more stuff. That's an order! Wait, what was I talking about....I forget.. RR Command?: A)uto reply K)ill D)iskwipe S)hred I)gnore > I ............aaa, ignored. Main Menu -> E,P,D,R,Q,C,CA,A,M,S,X,H,? >D Divert Funds: T)o F)rom A)ll N)ew > F FROM: I)ran C)ontras S)wiss account (# req.) M)oney market acct. > C Enter amount to divert (millions) > 40.6 ===> sorry Ollie, Jose says "manana, sucker." FROM: I)ran C)ontras S)wiss account (# req.) M)oney market acct. > C Enter amount to divert (millions) > 29.9 TO -> M,Y,R,C,W,X,NR,Q,S > C Enter name of Conservative cause -> Born Again for Freedom and Goodness Wait.....funds diverted. How else may I help you today, sir? Main Menu -> E,P,D,R,Q,C,CA,A,M,S,X,H,? >G Bye, Ollie (another fine mess you've...), and thanks for calling! w???Z?EUUUUUUUUUUUUU 81N CODEBREAKER ............ 861-6795 -.... 1200 N81N PEOPLE LINKS ........... 877-4290 -.... 1200 N81N MAR .................... 877-6269 -.... 1200 N81N *MMM* .................. 879-5182 -.... 1200 N81N GENESIS NETWORK ........ 879-7293 -.... 1200 N81N MICRO CONNECT .......... 884-3950 -.... 1200 N81N PC-SERVE ............... 348-2049 -.... 1200 N81N PC COMMUNICA