💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › markv.hum captured on 2022-07-17 at 02:28:16.
⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-12)
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How'd you like to have a computer like this one: * D * A * N * G * E * R * * D * A * N * G * E * R * I, the MARK V Home Computer Alarm detect a suspicious looking individual attempting to force entry into the building. Commencing Intruder Log: 18:33:47.023 Front door breached. 18:34:54.543 Photocell Checkpoint Alpha passed. 18:36:06.105 Weight of 97 kilograms detected on first stairstep. 18:37:22.133 Intruder on landing; digital photograph taken. 18:37:22.345 Photograph stored and processed: analysis indicates White Anglo Saxon Catholic male with a scar above the left eye and a slight lisp. 18:37:22.665 Photograph dispatched via telesat to interpol. 18:37:22.982 Interpol returned id as "Greg Heiss," known computer thief and Arlingtonite. 18:37:22.995 Energize defense system. 18:37:23.442 Target on fifth step of second tier. 18:37:23.445 Defense system ready. 18:37:25.045 Target at top of stairs. Lock on 50 megawatt laser. 18:37:25.050 Laser locked on. Query supreme court Robo-Judge for permission to terminate life of intruder. 18:37:25.052 Permission granted and verified. 18:37:25.053 ====== Z A P ====== 18:37:25.054 Switch air recirculation system to High Clean. 18:37:25.100 Notify building engineering office of repairs needed to front door and rear wall over stairs. 18:37:25.125 Reset alarm system. 18:37:25.143 Terminate Intruder Log. MARK V, ready. (--- Creative Computing, Sep-Oct 1977---) If you overlooked it, the time marks are significant. The intervals are impressive. Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open