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Article 432 of comp.sources.misc:
>From: mjs@tropix.UUCP (Michael J Shon)
Newsgroups: comp.sources.misc
Subject: v02i099: a little joke in C
Message-ID: <303@tropix.UUCP>
Date: 18 Apr 88 19:35:35 GMT
Approved: allbery@ncoast.UUCP
comp.sources.misc: Volume 2, Issue 99
Submitted-By: "Michael J Shon" <mjs@tropix.UUCP>
Archive-Name: c_puns
Well...
I lost my mind one day when I saw a piece of code like
long time(); /* know C */
and this was the result. I think that it lints ok. (I haven't really checked)
It compiles and runs, but it's really intended for very careful reading.
(I like to think that there are a few subtle jokes in it.)
mike shon
---------------------------cut here------------------------------------------
/*
* find the important things in Life, the Universe, and Everything
*/
typedef short some; /* some things are short */
typedef some very; /* some things are very short */
#define A /* The first letter of the English Alphabet */
#define LINE 2 /* 2 points define a line */
#define TRUTH BEAUTY /* truth is beauty */
#define BEAUTY 10 /* and beauty is a 10 */
#define bad char /* burnt on both sides */
#define old char /* the great Chicago Fire */
#define get strlen /* during your life, try to get some sterling */
#define youmake float /* you make it, I'll drink it */
#define yourgoals in terms you can understand
/*
#include "yourdreams" /* for the future */
/* everyone needs goals */
short term;
double yourpleasure();
double yourfun;
long Term, play(), agame;
/* everyone needs diversions */
old *joke = "Why did the chicken cross the road?\n\tTo get to the other side!\n\t\tWocka Wocka Wocka!\n";
tell(joke)
bad *joke; /* wait- you haven't heard it yet! */
{
short laugh; /* please */
laugh = get(joke);
write(1, joke, laugh); /* write it down- don't say it */
}
/* most folks like music */
long play(record)
long record;
{
very pleasant = TRUTH; /* if you like music */
while (record == pleasant)
play(record--);
return( pleasant ); /* music soothes the savage */
}
double yourpleasure(one, way) /* this is necessary if */
some one; /* is watching ,or if you have a */
long way; /* to go */
{
/* this can change one while maintaining one's identity */
one = one * one;
return( one ); /* after all, it should have at least doubled */
}
hold(temper) /* good advice */
A short temper; /* is a dangerous thing */
{
A long time; /* is what you need */
very calm; /* is how you should be */
calm = temper, temper;
while (calm--)
wait(&time);
return(calm); /* if possible */
}
/* now, on to the main thing */
main(thing, mustbe) /* to balance work, play, and goals */
some thing, mustbe; /* important, or we wouldn't be here */
{
long time(); /* know C */
very bored; /* the result of too few goals */
short hours; /* make */
long yourwork; /* which makes for */
short tempers; /* which can be improved by */
long laughing;
/* first, set priorities */
yourwork = 0;
yourfun = 1.0e+38;
if (yourpleasure( mustbe, yourwork ))
yourfun = yourwork;
else
yourfun = play( agame );
bored = yourfun - yourwork; /* nothing to do? */
/* reach out and touch someone! */
switch ( bored ) { /* connects all of this together */
default:
hours = hold(LINE); /* no way to avoid it, take a */
break;
}
/* take a music break */
while ( thing-- ) { /* you make my heart sing */
youmake everything;
very groovy;
}
/* focus on what is important to you */
while ( yourfun < 0 ) {
yourpleasure( mustbe, agame);
yourfun = play( agame );
}
tell(joke);
exit( laughing );
}