💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › ahole-03.txt captured on 2022-07-17 at 02:15:45.
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%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% % % % WHAT ASSHOLES DO /// % % % % 'AE ASSHOLES' % % % % BROUGHT TO YOU BY % % THE NEON KNIGHTS % % % % WRITTEN BY: % % % % THE MASTER OF REALITY % % & % % ZANDAR ZAN % % % %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% A NEON KNIGHT AND METAL COMMUNICATIONS PRESENTATION This file is directed to better help all you assholes out there who don't know how to use an AE line a little more wisely. First of all, this is me (Zandar Zan) and MS Reality..Telewriting together from opposite sides of this great, fantastic, worthless country of ours..... Let's go..... Assholes login and type in S7 D1 V2 to catalog a volume Assholes always, always look at the '?' option 3000 times before they finally memorize it. Assholes hit C>opy to get a ware. Assholes never, never upload anything better than '100 different ways to eat grapefruit' and then think that they are awesome for doing it. Assholes always, always look at each directory five times before looking at anything, and then try to V>iew a binary file. Assholes always take everything on your line, then page you 6000 times and when you finally answer, ask you to put more stuff up for them to D/L. Assholes break out of the hello file before they see the part saying... 'Now run on 10 megs' then they rag on you for not having anything up in your floppy drives. Assholes post rag messages until they run out of space telling the sysop what a shitty system he has, because he doesn't have anything new up, even though he just D/L it the day before! Assholes don't know what Dalton's is and assholes try to BRUN a game that was split with Dalton's. Assholes don't know the difference between 'Dalton's' and 'Disk Rigger' and post messages asking if there is a difference and why. Assholes can't figure out why they can't R>eceive a game on the AE-line Assholes call up AE lines with Data- Capture 4.0 and get upset when nothing works... Assholes call up AE lines and still use Smartcom I. Assholes don't know how to post private messages. Assholes who don't know how to post private msgs put their home phone number in the msg anyway. Assholes enter in the AE PW 40 times after they have already logged on, and don't have a clue as to how to use the system. Assholes hit 'RETURN' after typing in the pswd to an AE-line. Assholes type D>irectory and then return and wonder why it won't show the catalog. Assholes use the C>opy function, then type away. When they are done, they type '/EX' and when that doesn't work.. 'Help me Sysop!' and finally hang up and call right back. Assholes can't figure out why they can't D/L from an AE-line with their C-64. Assholes call the same AE line 10 times a day because it is local to see if there are any new wares to leech. Assholes read a file giving them directions on how to use AE with a hard drive, then have to view it 4 times because they forgot what they just read. Assholes call up the AE-line again and again after they just got a voice answering saying 'The line is down, call back later' thinking they got a wrong number. Assholes never say who they are when the SysOp breaks in to chat..They give names like 'Mr. Who' and 'Dr. Nobody' and then when they decide to give their names out it is in the form of 'K-K00L' text gra-fix. Assholes use spinning cursors and other suchjK-K00L text graphics in their welcome file on their hours AE's that they set up two days a week from 3:26 PM TO 6:47 PM. Assholes can't figure out why they got hung up on when they only left AE sitting there for 25 minutes without doing anything. Assholes S>end a ware, then sit there and watch it get BS errs and don't know what they did wrong. (They don't know how to CTRL-Q 'G' yet) Let me reiterate something that has been said before....Assholes are assholes. This is true, and will always remain so. Assholes are invariably stupid. Very, very stupid. They don't know what is going on around them or how to correct the matter at any given time at all. They are usually so stupid as to enter the wrong PW to the system 8 times in a row, until the SysOp prompts them thru then they stare at the hello message until AE hangs them up! What assholes!! Assholes can't even read at the speed of 300 baud, frequently CTRL-Sing and waiting 10 mins to read the page. Assholes shit if the SysOp wants to go voice because they still either have a 2600 HZ tone voice or a 1000 HZ tone voice (Both of which are really quite annoying) Assholes (AE assholes that is) read the file saying what wares are in what volume of a hard drive, then catalog every volume anyway.. Also, assholes catalog every volume, then view the file saying what wares are in what volume. What total assholes! Assholes copy their own 'NEET-0 K00L pagerzzz' onto the line which invariably feature real neat text graphics with a lot of CTRL-G'S...Even though the SysOp stated in the hello message that either his speaker was unplugged or he sup- pressed CTRL-G... Which of course they did not se, because they broke out of the message prematurely. Now, this is only a small part of what AE assholes do. This is a guide direct- ed towards those of you who fit in here so you can learn to stop doing them and driving your friendly, courteous, AE SysOps crazy with your lame assholeness and general idioticness. In our next file, we will discuss the lifestyle of the AE asshole, to maybe figure out what makes him so and why! This msg has been brought to you by the Neon Knight Network ---------------------------------------