💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › 300bps.txt captured on 2022-07-17 at 02:15:22.
⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-12)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
1-Put it under a door and you have a Door Stop 2-Attach a stick and you have a Snow Plow 3-Put it on a shelf and you have a Book End 4-Put it on top of some papers and you have a Paper Weight 5-Put some powder in it and it is a Bomb Shell 6-Throw it and it is a Baseball 7-There is no #7 8-Put a Satellite Dish on it and you have Great TV reception 9-Put some coils in it and you have a great portable heater 10-Cut some holes and tell your friends you bought it in Holland 11-Attach balloons and it becomes 1 of those things they use to hold Balloons 12-Sell it to someone as a universal adapter 13-Put a light bulb in it and you have a Decorative Walkway Light 14-Use it as a coaster for your favorite drink 15-Sell it to Lord Melkor and tell him 300BPS is faster then 2400 (inside joke)16-Give it to your Uncle, he'll find something to do with it 17-Hook it on your TV and it is a TV adapter for your Television 18-Sell it as a Black Box. 19-Save water by putting it in the toilet tank! 20-Use it as an anvil 21-Isn't that the age at which you can LEGALLY drink? 22-It could be one of those useless props at a school play 23-Get a hammer and vent your stress out on it 24-Make a few adjustments and turn it into a radio 25-Use the parts to make a board game 26-Make a Nintendo game out of it 27-Put in a processor and sell it as the world's chunkiest computer 28-Take it out when the guests come over and it is a decoration 29-Put it on the Christmas tree and it is an Ornament! 30-Use it as a Saxophone Damper 31-Make it into a parallel port DAC 32-Use it to make a model car 33-Trade it in for a new life 34-Use it as a footrest 35-Take it to sports games and have it signed like a baseball 36-Call up PROTOVISION with it (WarGames the movie) 37-Pad it, cut it, and you have a new pair of knee-pads 38-Isn't that MTV? 39-Use it as a snow sampler 40-Attach it to the Principal's Laptop Computer and say it is a tumor 41-Cut some holes in it and use it as a Disk Store 42-Sell the parts to a techie nerd and make a lot of money 43-Use it to stop your car in an emergency 44-Drop it off a boat with a string and it is an anchor 45-Use it to scan for fish in a lake 46-Make your phone into a speaker phone 47-Take it to your next party and it will be the talk of the town 48-Sell to the Tabloids and say it is possessed by Elvis 49-Use it with your Lego's to make a computer 50-Bang it on your bald head and instantly grow hair 51-Use it as a murder weapon 52-Does there really have to be a number 52? 53-Make some adjustments and it is an EPROM programmer 54-Give it to Ray Charles and tell him it is endless "Uh, huh" 55-Use it to upgrade the warp drive on a constitutional class space vessel 56-Attach some strings and use it as a sled 57-Attach roll bars and it is a dune buggy 58-Use it to keep your dog in place in the yard 59-Threaten your little brother with it 60-Get all of your friend's 300BPS modems and make a house out of them all 61-Make it into a `Radio Flyer' by adding wheels and a pole 62-Need a quick science project? Bring in your modem! 63-Cut a hole and use it as a planter 64-Strap it onto your head and pretend that you are Cadet Stimpy 65-Get a few lenses, some film, and make a movie camera 66-Get a plug, and send some voltage through someone's modem 67-You know how there are `pet rocks'? How about a `pet modem'? 68-Throw it out 69-Sell it to an idiot for $100 and buy yerself a faster modem 70-Put it in the snow and use it as a depth meter 71-Stick it on the wall and call it ART 72-Use it as a stepping stool 73-Put pepper in it and it could be a pepper shaker 74-Cut a hole in it and use it as a cereal bowl 75-Paint it red play bocce (yard game w/heavy balls) 76-If you are Jewish you could strap it on and use it as Tefillin 77-If you have a big dog, give it to him as a chew toy 78-Cut a hole and put stuff in it 79-Put it in the attic and one day, it may be worth MONEY! 80-Make a DollHouse out of it 81-A window box to put flowers in 82-Make it into a lantern 83-Give it to the neighbors 84-Use it as a subject for painting (still life) 85-Make it into a tunnel for your slot cars 86-Recycle it 87-Put it by the door and call it "Matt" 88-Throw it in the water and call it "Bob" 89-Hang it by the door and call it "Bell" 90-Use it as a booster chair 91-Throw it in the lake 92-Give it to the phone company 93-Bury it 94-Take it to Florida and sell it 95-Shape it into a Wok 96-Take it to an antique shop 97-Paint it all kinds of colors 98-Take it for a walk 99-Put it on a hat and say "Well, what did you expect?" 100-You know that a penny could kill from the top of the World Trade Centers? Great, THROW THE MODEM! 101-Anything that you want to!