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The \ /orks BBS presents a saga of uzer stupidity:
/> <\ \/\/
\\ //
\\_____// /=================================\
\/ ___> : Compiled on 2/26/87 around noon :
| | : Edited By Jason scott Heyhey! :
| |___ \=================================/
\____/omments from Hell
==============================================================================
Hey there. This J. P. Scott, of The Works BBS, at (914)-[238]-8195. This file
represents what I think are the real "Winner" comments sent to me in the year
between Feb. `86-`87. I have not changed these comments at all except to erase
the names of the people who posted them, to avoid embarrasment and lawsuits.
Now, I'm not indicating that I believe that all these individuals are stupid.
Many of them were validated in spite of their comments, and some continue to be
users. Perhaps the person wasn't in the best or clearest of moods when they
wrote the comment. But from the context as I see them, they look funny. I
have created this textfile so that people can enjoy what SysOps get in their
Comments File.
- Enjoy. Seriously.
==============================================================================
Last time I called this bbs, I vaguely remember it as to be a RBBS.
Is this true? If soo, which do you like better, Rbbs of PC-Board?
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URIKA!?!?!?!!!
B00G? B00G! B00g? B00g!!! B00g!!! B00g!!!
Hi Honey, I'm Home!
Anyway, What the Fuck is going on?
I leave for college Friday, Give me a call and I will give you my number
there, since the phone is going to be installed Thursday!
Oh Well, I am home!
Have fun, and Remember:
When CUTHUTHULU Calls, He calls collect and you better NOT refuse the
charges! (Why?)
BECAUSE CUTHUTHULU is the Aztec God of Evil!
Have a nice day, before some asshole louses it up!
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Sonofabitch! I like this. B-BS's are getting to serious these days.
Maherbani, et yn er bandar, and Good Byte
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JASON, HOW DO YOU TURN OFF GRAPHICS?
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Jason,
I WANT TO CHANGE MY LOGIN NAME??? HOW?? & WHERE???
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Jason, can I PLEEEEASE fuck with Seth's status? PLLEEEEEEEAAAASSSEEE? I
can get K.T. to fuck you if you want...
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This is a nice system. I gave you my real #, so Please Validate me.
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B00g! Answer you Dweeb!
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Jay what happened to terror ferret isnt she a SysOp?
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I would like to use my handle, "THE WRESTLER". Where's the PARAMETERS?
My computer is set at 80. I have a C64 and it should be set at 40.
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THANKS FOR THE MAMARIES
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HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C/R
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jay your are so sweet you should try being a baby-sitter.........
Am Iright r what
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wwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeenneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnttttttttttttttttttttttttt
ttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!
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Jason, exactly why did you kick me off?
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Hello Jason.
Lets go METS
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Jason, when are you going to start switching software?
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Dear Sir. I am a lonely hobo in the far reaches of upper Orange county.
Most people cant bear to look at me because most of my face was torn
off in a mining accident. the only way i have of communicating with
others is through this modem i found. i wired it to a home made
computer. Emulates a C-64, y'know. Heh Heh He. Well, partner, how
about it? Thats a good sport.....
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Hi J
ason, I bet you can't guess who I am.... Ha Ha Ha. I've lost my
list of Amiga BBS's and I think I'm going to cry. This is really neat ,
thanks alot for lending me it, if you ever need to blow up a small
country I'll be more than willing to LEND you some small thermo-nuclear
devices. (But I'll expect them back in good condition.)
.
_______________________________
| Down with commie velcro!!!! |
| |
| Up with good old AmericaN |
| shoelaces. /
\ Those commies have a plot/
\to take over us and we /
\gotta stop dem udder- /
\wize dere gonna ru
\in ouwa kuntwe /
\help! da walls /
\iz clodzing /
\in on me! /
\ /
\Poof/
\ /
***
*.*
Remember Velcro Man will save the day.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhH!!!!!
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Poof! BANG! Pop! Pow!
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B00G!
White.Box and Aqua.Box Don't work!!!!
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Have a nice day!
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I done got me a 130!
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HOW CAN I REGISTER I THINK THIS BOARD IS A DEFINITE RELEIF OR RELAESE
FROM THE WORLD OF SANITY---- DON'T LET THE MEAT LOAF !!!!!
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I am schmrt, old, and funny.
c
a
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Whats The good morning for its only 3:00am hell the partyz just
begun
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becuase
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The only reason that I can think of to let me in is that I was once
in a band named FROGWIRE (15 yrs back), whose mascot was a 53 lb
mudfodder treefrog, imported from the Amazon. The frog enjoyed the
music most when it soared above the 130 decibel (Lear jet engine, full
throttle, 2 inches from your head) range, since at this level frog
nirvana was achieved.
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I AM A TRUE PERSON AND WILL TRY TO
CONTRIBUTE TO THIS BBS. I HAVE AE
AND I HOPE TO USE IT IN ANY WAY
POSSIBLE. WELL CHECK YA LATER. I MA
OFF TO THE SKIES!!
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1. I program at the ROM-BIOS level.
2. I have a negative sanity index.
3. See two above.
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Have programs to upload.
Interested in Comm. programs
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HEY MAN THERE IS BOARD OUT IT IS MY BASEMENT NODE 1 BUT YOU MUST FIRST
PUSH ENTER THEN TYPE USEROK THEN YOU WILL BE IN.. LOTS OF FUN
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I AM INTERESTED IN THE EXCHANGE OF IDEAS AND INFO. WITH PEOPLE
OUT OF MY GEOGRAPHIC AREA.. I WILL ALSO PROVIDE YOU WITH
A COUPLE OF DISKS WORTH OF SOFTWARE.
MARK ZIDEL
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HEY DUDE , IM COOL SO WHAT ABOUT SOME ACCESS!! THANKS MAN!! LATER DAZE!!
THE CORNDOG
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I would just like to know when I try to logon you never let me in?
I most likely won't be able to read your answer, because of ......
ACCESS DENIED!! WHY? WHY? Have II done somthing wrong??
please tell me, so I can learn from my errors. Maybe I could help you
I know Francais very well and could help you translate............
thank you,
Access Denied
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FUCK YOU JASON I WILL KILL YOU AND THAT HOMOSEXUAL FERRET. I NOW KNOW OF
ONE PLACE WHERE YOU ARE ALWAYS ON TIME FOR.. YOU ARE DEAD MEAT I WILL
LET YOU FIND OUT WHO I AM..... BUT BY THEN IT WILL BE TOO LATE FOR ANY
HELP. MY FRIENDS THINK I'M CRAZY BUT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE
A DICK AND SHOULD BE KILLED FOR HUMANITY SAKE. THERE IS ABSOLUTLY
NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO PREVENT YOUR ONSLAUGHT SO SAY YOUR GOODBYE'S FOR
ONE DAY SOON YOU SHALL DIE... IT WILL NOT BE A GOOD YEAR FOR YOUR
FRIENDS BUT I KNOW YOUR PARENTS WOULD PROBABLY THANK
ME...................KISS OFF HOMO............FOR THE END IS NEAR!!!!!!
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BECAUSE HE IS A
MOTHER FUCKING DICK WHO GOES TO......
HGHS!!!!!
AND HE'S DEAD MEAT!!!!!
AND I WILL EAT THAT FERRET FOR LUNCH!!!!!
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LISTEN FUCKHEAD I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU WATCH YOUR FATHER UNDRESS AND
ENJOY IT... ALL HOMOS WILL DIE AND I WILL SET A EXAMPLE WITH YOU AND TO
ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS....NAH YOU DON'T HAVE THEM
LATER COCKSUCKER ALIAS DICKBEATH
P.S CAN I HAVE ACCESS NOW?????
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YOUR MOTHER GIVES HEAD TO NIGGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!
IS IT TRUE YOUR FATHER IS A CROSS BETWEEN A BEAGLE AND A BLACK
???????????
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HINT WHO I AM #1:I HATE YOU
#2:I GO TO YOUR SCHOOL AND THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE
THINK YOU ARE A FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL.
#3:I HAVE HAIR
#4:238-42?? DO I KNOW WHAT THE LAST TWO DIGITS ARE??
STAY TUNED FOR MORE NEXT TIME BOYS AND FAGGOTS
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IS IT TRUE YOU GAVE IT TO KARL MARX(ALIAS MR. LIDDY) UP THE ANAL
PASSAGE. I WOULD NOT TEND TO DIFF, YOU PROBABLY DID DICK HIM.
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Why is it so hard to logon to "The Works"
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I AM STILL HERE DICKBREATH I WILL HAVE YOUR HOUSE NUMBER BY TONIGHT,
SLLEP TIGHT DEAD MEAT, YOU MAY THINK I AM KIDDING BUT I WOULD NOT WASTE
MY TIME IF I WAS FUCKING AROUND, YOU PISSED ME OFF, YOU WILL PAY FOR
IT....
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DUH, PLZ LET ME BE A USER SO i KIN UPLOAD HAIKU AND OTHER GOOD STUFF.
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JASON,
I WOULD LIKE TO BECOME A MEMBER OF THIS BOARD IF POSSIBLE...I HAVE U/L
SOMETHING AND MORE WILL FOLLOW IF I BECOME A MEMBER...
THANKS..
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YOU SHOULD LET ME BECOME A USER BECAUSE I AM BRIGHT,AND CREATIVE, NOT
TO MENTION VERY CUTE. WHEN I LOOK AT A BBS I LOOK FOR A BOARD WHICH
PEOLPLE SEEM TO BE SERIOUS BUT YET WANT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
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I have met the enemy, and I have vomitted. Ask not, I say, why you
should let me become a user, but why I should choose to spend my hard
earned telecommunications quarters calling you. Besides, I'm bigger
than you. So there!
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Jason,
I just want to ask if you have had any trouble with
the feds or anything concerning this board? I feel
the same way about info...
Let me know how to protect
myself against this.......
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These files Kick Ass!
I'm putting some of
my own together....
will send soon!!!!!
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CAN I PLEASE HAVE ACCESS PLEASE I AM INTO COMPUTERS. WHAT ELSE DO YOU
NEED FROM ME? I CAN DONATE MONEY. UH, I HAVE AN APPLE II COMPUTER WITH A
HAYES 1200 MODEM. I HAVE BEEN INTO COMPUTERS FOR A YEAR NOW AND HAVE
CALLED MANY BOARDS IN FLORIDA HERE. I AM TRYING ONE IN NEW YORK NOW.
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Please give me security level 99999. I just uploaded CALIXTO.ARC.
Thanks.........
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I WENT THROUGH THIS CRP A FEW WEEKS AGO...YOU GAVE ME 90 MINUTES THEN...
YOUR BBS AIN'T THAT GREAT, "JASON" (NOTICE THE? """ YOU FOOL,...)
SO TAKE YOUR 900 TEXT FILES AND PLACE THEM...
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WE ALMOST FORGOT,...YOUR BBS WAS DOWN WHEN WE REALLY NEEDED YOU...
AND THIS CRAP IS TOO MUCH TO BEAR...
"JASON"???...YOU WISH!....
WE KNOW BETTER.
STICK YOUR STUPID BOARD, ASSHOLE.
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HIJAS?KON,
kI'M THE ?YSOP OF THEk?MOT?qER BOARD IN NEWTON,;?KANSA?.
I WOULD LIKE TO GET SOME OF YOUR TEXT FILES FOR MY BOARD.
HOW? DO I GET DOWNLOA?oD P??RIVILEDGIES?
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B00G B00g B0OG B0Og B0oG B0og BO0G BO0g BOOG BOOg BOoG BOog Bo0G Bo0g
BoOG BoOg BooG Boog b00G b00g b0OG b0Og b0oG b0og bO0G bO0g bOOG bOOg
bOoG bOog bo0G bo0g boOG boOg booG boog B00G B00g B0OG B0Og B0oG B0og
BO0G BO0g BOOG BOOg BOoG BOog Bo0G Bo0g BoOG BoOg BooG Boog b00G b00g
b0OG b0Og b0oG b0og bO0G bO0g bOOG bOOg bOoG bOog bo0G bo0g boOG boOg
booG boog
Keyboard macros are great, huh?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(.) (.)
^
\-/
STUD MUFFIN THE INVICIBLE!!!!!
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I am willing to share knowledge!
Would appreciate DL power!
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YOU ARE WRONG, MR. SCOTT. (Y) RULE NUMBER ONE IS NO POSTING CREDIT CARD
NUMBERS. MY APPLE PROGRAM CAN MAKE SMALL CASE BUT I DONT LIKE IT THAT
WAY. WAIT...HERES MOM!
Now listen here...my son is a good boy. You just ley him be a user or
else I might get mad! Crusty is a good boy and you deny him access and
he gets beaten up all the time. Just be nice to him for once!
THANK YOU MOM. WELL, LISTEN TO HER, SHE KNOWS WHAT SHES TALKING ABOUT!
OH, I LIKE COMPUTERS. CAN I BE A SYSYOP? I WOULD BE GOOD TO YOU SYSTEM!
WHO IS DONNA? I LIKE THE NAME DONNA. THATS THE NAME OF MY PET
COCKAROACH!
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HI MR. SCOTTY. ITS ME, CRUSTY!
PLEASE GIVE ME ACCESS I'LL BE GOOD. I PROMISE!
MY FATHER IS WATCHING ME EVERY TIME I SIGN ON NOW SO YOU KNOW I'M NOT
GOING TO DO NO BAD STUFF LIKE WRITEING "MR. SCOTTY IS GAY!!!!"
KASJDF7LKA...SORRY DAD. HE JUST HIT THE KEYBOARD! HE'S MAD I WROTE THAT!
CAN I BE A SYSOP TOO? THIS BOARD NEEDS ME BECAUSE COMPUTERS ARE MY LIFE!
YEA!
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I'M A GOOD BOY AND I PICKED A BETTER NAME NOW. WHY WONT YOU LET ME HAVE
ACCESS. I SHOULD BE A SYSOP ! I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES IF YOU DO!!!! JUST A
BIT OF HUMOR. MY MOTHER IS LAUGHING WRITE NOW! I'LL SEND YOU SOME
MONOPOLY MONEY!!!! I'LL SEND YOU FREE HARDWARE!!!!! I HAVE AN EXTRA 2400
BAUD MODEM, BUT SINCE YOU DONT WANT ME ON THE BOARD, I'LL HAVE TO GIVE
IT TO THE SYSOP OF COPS BBS HERE IN FLORIDA!
SAVE
SAVE
SAVE
SACVE
SVA
ESAVE
SAVE
SAVE
SAVE
SAVE
SAVE
/S
/S
/
S
/C
SAD
WHA
HELP JASON !!!!!HELP ME!!!!!HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYOU
ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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JASON-I WAS WONDERING WHAT THE PRIVATE
CONF[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[
D[D[D[D[D[D[D
IWAS WONDERING I COULD GET INTO THE ELITE CONF.
THANKS
MARK
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ACKPPHIT!
ill see you at somepoint on Monday!
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HI JASON! I HAVE SOME PROGRAMS THAT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN.
HOWEVER YOU MAY NEED A PROGRAM CALLED SNATCHIT.. I AM NOT A LAW
ENFORCEMENT OFFICER, JUST A PIRATE.
THANKS
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I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW I CAN DOWNLOAD SOME OF YOUR FILES. I SEE A
COUPLE OF FILES THAT CAN BE USEFULL TO ME BUT I NEED A CLEARENCE TO
DOWNLOAD THEM. WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME AND MY SYSTEM TO GET A
CLEARENCE?
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JASON: OLD BUDDY OLD FRIEND!!!(BUTTERING UP)HOW DO I GET A MEMBERSHIP
IN THE FRIENDS OF JASON CONF.
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I AM STILL TRYING TO DOWNLOAD A FILE BUT CAN'T. WHAT IS THE REASON? I
DON'T NEED TO CALL LONG DISTANCE JUST TO LOOK AT THE FILES YOU HAVE ON
YOUR BOARD. WHAT IS THE PROCEEDURE FOR GAINING ACCESS TO YOUR FILES? I
AM INTERESTED IN THE FILE "CANNABIS.ANA". THANK YOU. IF I AM NOT GOING
TO BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD AS WELL AS UPLOAD THEN I WISH TO CANCEL .
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I WAS A USER ON THIS BOARD BEFORE. NOW I'M NOT COULD YOU PUT ME BACK.
MY FATHER DIDN'T LET ME USE THE COMPUTER FOR SIX MONTHS. COULD YOU ALSO
TELL ME I WAS TAKEN OFF
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BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO
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What the hecks up??? Lose your USERS file?
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I JUST NEED THREE FILES. ADVENTUR.ADV ARCHON.APP ENCHANT.ADV
CAN I BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD HERE. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
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got's to go before i turn my phone bill into a roll of toilet paper!!
we be back with more stuff when the rates go down..hope some of my
material is new to your board.
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GAWD!!! 430 k ARC'S BYTES I AM HUMBLED!!!
may have to sell the computer to pay the phone bill byt owl be bock!
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ps if you should call on my voice line don't be put off by the ans,
machine. Because I have been bothered to abstraction by an unending
stream of calls from used woman parts salesman, i have stopped answering
it. However, i do call back.
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