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// // //ow to connect // \\nything to // \\nything \\
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// (Alright, so I'm a sucker for weird text title graphics!) \\
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// Written with estranged pride by \\
\\ The Slipped Disk //
// \\
\\ Call Milliways 10Meg/BBS/AE/CF........................(609)-921-1994 //
// \\
\\ (*) Everything you wanted to know about connecting anything (*) //
// (Don't you hate infinitives and living up to them?) \\
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If you aren't an idiot, You are aware that this file is called "How to
connect anything to anything." This is no small task. Let's get started....
\===/
Intro
/===\
What many people don't realize is that the illusion of genius can be created
with little or no intelligence at all. You see, when people talk about someone
being "Oh, so smart." They aren't referring in fact to his/her ACTUAL
intelligence, but to their EXPOSED or ASSUMED intelligence. Let's
demonstrate...
Jimmy Carpenter in Butfuck, VA. His greatest technological achievement is
screwing in his lightbulb. Everybody thinks he`s a complete idiot, but little
Jimmy has an IQ of 145. Nobody knew.
Mark Dman of Boston, MA. He hooked up his phone to his stereo to his christmas
tree to his left leg. Everyone thought he was a complete genius. Everyone was a
bit surprised when he got stoned (as usual) and rammed the family camaro into a
7-11 front window.
These two cases (Fictional, asswipe!) in one way or another show that while
not showing brains can make people seem like idiots, acting like you have brains
can make people think you're a genius. Simple enough? Good!
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The ten commandments of hooking anything to anything
/====================================================\
I. Thou shalt remember that in order for anything to work, thou must have a
complete circut in there somewheres.
II. Thou shalt remember that there must be connections of + to -, else thou
shalt look idiotic.
III. Thy tool-kit must be complete and ready, for it's nasty to get shocked
because thou hadt spliced wire with thy teeth.
IV. Thou shalt always have an ample supply of wire at thy command, for it's
aggravating to be unable to finish a project for want of two feet of wire.
V. It is always divine to stick LED's in there somewheres, for flashing and
multi-colored lights bring illusion of genius.
VI. When working with circuts of more than 90 Volts, fuck it, for shocks are
a pain in the ass.
VII. If screwing with thy fone wires, be reminded that the holy repairmen
look down on "independent finanglers".
VIII. Never screw with something thou cannot replace.
IIX. Always be sure that thou art not making irreversible changes when thou
might want to put back.
IX. Always set aside an ample amount of time to do thy work, for what looks
simple now, might not look so simple 2 hours later when thou comes back from
wherever thou came.
X. Remember that if thou are hurt because of info in this file, thine holy
writer takes NO responsiblity for thou being a fuck-up.
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Some Examples of connections
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Most parts of a connection (We'll call them components) can be separated into
three different classifications:
I. Powered
Examples:
Radio Phone TV
Computer Light Tape player
II. Non-powered
Examples:
Speakers LED Microphone
Motor Screen Strobe
III. Line Affections
Examples:
DPST switch Timer Signal Splitter
Together, these different components add up to some sort of interesting
connections for everyone to marvel at. Let's see how...
\=======================/
Examples of connections
/=======================\
To make this easier, I'll give a list of some ideas. See if you can tell
what "Trick" they cause. Create some others as you wish! It's your life!
Component type I Component type III Component type II
>----------------< >------------------< >----------------<
TV Switch Stereo
Phone Signal splitter TV & Stereo
Phone LED Phone line
Stereo Timer Phone
Answering Machine Timer TV
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// This little dazzling bit of authorship was by The Slipped Disk. \\
\\ Member of the 99th Percentile! //
// Look for the SlippedParodies from any good BBS, Including this one.... \\
\\ //
// Call..................Milliways...........................(609)/921-1994 \\
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