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F I S H
For all your phun stuff...
presents:
???????????????????????????
? The Anarchist's Toolkit ?
???????????????????????????
This will be a short file. It is basically a rewrite of a really cool
file I found a long time ago (5+ years) that I have been unable to find
since. If you find the original of this file somewhere, please upload
it to DeBBie'S CLoSeT or The Sect, the latter with a message saying to
send it to The Infidel.
DISCLAIMER: This file is for informational purposes only. blah blah
yakety smackety hoo doo doo yim yam flim flam bom bam boo
+-------------------------------+
-------------------+ Create your own ANARCHY Kit +----------------------
+-------------------------------+
So, you have decided to become a little devil-worshipping, societal
outcast anarchist. Well, you will need a toolkit. This isn't
absolutely mandatory, but it is great to store in your car or elsewhere
for those spontaneous destructive urges. Here are the things you will
need to make your own Anarchist Toolkit:
+ Bag or box to store it all in. If you are just going to be carrying it
around on foot, a backpack might be a good choice, because you then have
both hands free, and can just run your ass off if the need arises. Use
a box if you are going to store it in your car. A Hickory Farms gift
box works nicely.
+ Hammer. Use this to randomly break things to pieces. Things like:
lights, mailboxes, birdbaths, windows, cars, random children, dogs,
anything that is breakable is fun.
+ Phillips and regular screwdrivers. You never know when you will need
one of these. You can dismantle someone's car, pry open things with
the regular head screwdriver, chisel away and make statues out of
babies. Anything. Having multiple sizes is nice, because you may
come across small screws, or very large ones.
+ 7/16 wrench, with a thin lip. This is for breaking into random phone
boxes and miscellaneous other garbage.
+ Crescent wrench. To unscrew multiple sized bolts, nuts, whatnot.
+ Glue, the anarchists friend. There are unlimited things you can do
with a good tube of rubber cement. The more the hairier. For more
suggestions on what to use glue on, see our other file, Vandal 3.
+ Phone cord and handheld phone. This is the phreak's friend. You can
use it to dial 1-900-HOT-SEXX or whatever your fantasies desire. See
also: Vaseline. Alligator clips are nice as well.
+ Gunpowder. You never know when the pyromaniac inside everyone will
come out.
+ Slingshot. There are countless things to shoot at during the wee hours
when you will be out doing your mischief.
+ Gloves. You might run across something sensitive you don't want to get
fingerprints on. If you drive, they've got your fingerprints. That's
what that little thumb scanner does at the DMV.
+ Wirecutters. These have almost unlimited utility to the bored anarchist.
Use them to, well, cut wires. You can splice phone lines, cut a hole
in a bothersome fence, cut a hole in a bothersome Doberman, etc..
+ Pocketknife. A Swiss Army knife is best, because you just might need
to pop the cork out of a bottle of Chardonnay while out being naughty.
+ Money. For those late night snack urges. Just throw a 5 in the bag and
forget about it, so you won't raid it later to support your crack habit.
+ Rope. This might be unneccesary, but it all depends on how you waste
your Saturday nights.
+ Crowbar. This is also somewhat optional, but it helps when you need to
pull the lids off of manholes.
+ Spray Paint. Preferably a nasty color like chartreuse. For those vandal
instincts in everyone.
+ Toilet Paper. This is unneccesary all the time, but keeping a spare roll
around just might prove useful sometime.
+ Flashlight. For obvious reasons.
+ Laptop computer. If you've got it, bring it with you. Always proves
useful. A modem is basically necessary if you bring this, though not
always, if you find a port somewhere.
+ Lighter. For setting anything in sight on fire, lighting bombs, burning
obnoxious killer death spiders of +5 annoyance. Lots of uses for them.
+ Lighter Fluid. Like that Ronsonol junk at your local 7-11. Just ask
Rashneesh for zippo fluid. Get the yellow bottle. This stuff leaks, so
put it in a ziploc(tm) bag. or something leakproof. Make sure it's the
yellow and blue makes green kind or you might spill, because you can't
just squeeze the bag and make sure it's closed. NO! Then Glad wouldn't
make any money. This is for making pretty pictures on cement and setting
it on fire, or maybe making pretty pictures in Timmy's hair and setting
him on fire. Whatever, just get some. It's useful and cheep!