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Yes thats right its another F.I.S.H. F.I.L.E. !
" Were not just for breakfast anymore!"
<<99 WAYS TO ANNOY SOMEBODY (and get even)>>
by PUNK ROCK GIRL
&
THE POTATOE LADY
Disclaimer: This information is for informational information
only. F.I.S.H. Gang take no responsibility for the misuse of this
informative informational information.
Instructions for use: these are mere suggetsions of what one
might possibly do. If one were to successfully attempt a #69 the
possibilites are endless. REMEMBER TO APOLOGIVE PROFUSELY IF YOU
ACHIEVE A #10 OR A #17 etc, etc...
1. mumble when you speak
2. call them every five minutes "just to say hi."
3. spread filthy rumors about them
4. put vaseline all over their locker
5. get a porno mag and put a fake adress sticker on it with their
name displayed prominently. Drop it in the mall, the parking lot,
etc etc...
6. give them herpies
7. follow them around smiling alot
8. touch thier car a lot
9. touch them a lot
10. vomit on them at the least appropriate time. i.e. during
school!
11. send them junk mail
12. smile a lot and laugh incessantly. laugh at everything they
say including hints such as: SHUT UP!!!
13. ask them embarrassing questions like DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH
TODAY? or DID YOU FORGET TO WASH YOUR HAIR?
14. pry. especially into things that are none of your business
15. spit all over them when you talk. P,B,S,F, are good letters
16. tell a friend you hate them but don't say why
17. cough on them, sneeze on them
18. stare at them
19. when they are talking to you:
stare at their eyebrows
squint at them
keep looking over at something behind them
pick your nose
yawn
20. order them things...
diaper service
5 tons of gravel
pizza flowers
mulch
all these things usually bill you later
21. send them love letters from their least favorite person.
22. poke them with things
23. ask them why they cut their hair
24. compliment them on their least admirable qualites. ASK THEM
IF THEY KNEW THEY LOOKED LIKE A PORPOISE.
25. sign them up for a CD club with their most hated music as
their main selection
26. take their picture all the time
27. ACCIDENTLY drop their name and phone number in trashy parts
of town
28. kidnap their pets and put packaging tape all over them
29. drain their steering fluid
30. steal their gas cap
31. let them know when they have messed up
32. sing to them
33. unplug all their appliances
34. unscrew all their light bulbs just enough so they dont work
35. take the bolts off the front whell of their bicycle
36. make up stupid nick names like JIMBO and DAN THE MAN. get
others to use them
37. accidently set them on fire
38. place syringes on them and alert the proper athorities
39. call them bad names like Queen Daryl and Bunnyfucker
40. tell their mothers they do drugs, sign them up for New
Beginnings
41. everyone has defects, point their out in flyers, on bathroom
walls, and over school PA systems
42. murder their animals and make it look like road kill
43. call the phone company and have thier line disconnected
44. do meaningnless things to their house like leaving celery on
the door at night
45. accidently drop a dye tablet in the washer
46. talk about them on live television
47. put gum in their hair... on their seat... in their shoes...
48. constantly remind them that a relative died, make jokes about
it
49. check out library books on their name, rent movies for them,
make long distance phone calls from their house
50. whenever anybody asks your name, USE THEIRS! especially when
doing somehting illegal
51. change all the clocks in their house to different times
52. set clock alarms to go off at three o clock in the morning
53. flip all their circuit breakers and steal all their fuses
54. turn on the heater in the summer and the cooler in the winter
55. drop alkaseltzer into their fishtank
56. put refrigerator magnets on every screen you see (epsecially
computers)
57. did you know that if you haold a razor blade with the sharp
edge at a 90 degree angle with a window and run it up and down it
makes a really bloodcurdling noise.
58. tear the last page out of books
59. tell them there is a party at some deserted loaction
60. did you know that alum is sold in the spice section of your
local supermarket? it is possibly the sickest tasting white
powder ever invented. it goes well on salads... in drinks...
61. put broken glass in the swimming pool
62. misuse words ( Freudian Slip )
63. pour a bottle of Nyquil into the punch.
64. there is a little screw on those things that amke doors close
real slow labeled SPEED. turn it one direction until it falls
out. It will slam quite nicely now
65. lamp oil kills lawns DEAD!
66. let the air out of their front left tire
67. give their dog a nice yummy hunk of meat with laxitive on/in
it. put the dog in the house
68. super glue a quarter to the floor in the mall
69. get a garage door opener and drive through suburbia until one
opens
70. place a cup of rotting eggs and milk near their houses
ventilation intake
71. put a padlock on their fence and lose the key
72. remove their lawn mower blade
73. degause their tape collection
74. talk with your mouth full
75. put crushed garlic under their car seat
76. did you know volkswagons are air tight (mostly) roll up all
the windows except one and stick a hose in. roll it up the rest
of the way, turn it on
77. format all the school computers
78. relabel all their video tapes, chemicals, disks, etc...
79. sell everything they own via the classified ads in the paper
80. tap rythmically with you fingers, pencils, rulers...
81. turn up the oven
82. scream and perform a seizure during lunch time in the
caffeteria
83. grunt now and then
84. ask why every time they speak
85. slurp drinks
86. drool during a conversation with an authority figure
87. did you notice that some brands of cat food look just like
tuna? swithch labels
89. ALL teachers keep asprin in their desks, switch it with nytol
90. breath like a horse
91. sell them encyclopedias at four o clock in the morning
92. loosen one link in their bike chain
93. saran wrap over the toilet seat
94. raod kill is the gift that keeps on giving
95. keep sending mail to Abe Froman and use their adress get
others to do so
96. when they are driving suddenly scream as loud as you can then
stop
97. turn their car stereo up all the way before they go someplace
98. place a few good size hunks of dry ice in a 2 liter plastic
soda bottle, add some rit dye ( preferably red liquid dye ) close
the lid throw it into their hot tub and run like hell
99. writing in candle wax does not come off, in the summer it
melts on white pavement and turns dark grey. write your favorite
slogan on your friends drive way.
100 is just too wacky to mention
If there are any questions or comments leave mail for:
PUNK ROCK GIRL (me)
EZRA
THE INFIDEL
THE POTATOE LADY
but in a way arent we all