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{ George Carlin: nonconformist, liberal, open-minded, and by far }
funnier than any other comedian-come-lately. His latest effort
{ has been transcribed for your carnal [dis]pleasure. Enjoy! }
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{ the }
-=*/> Buzzz Bros. <\*=-
present
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AN INCOMPLETE LIST OF IMPOLITE WORDS:
2,443 FILTHY WORDS AND PHRASES
Part I
Compiled By George Carlin
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Text Entry by Havoc
{ }
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Note
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During the nearly twenty years since the "Seven Words You Can Never Say On
Television" first appeared on the Class Clown album, and especially since the
time (1982) when the idea was expanded to include impolite expressions of all
types, TV-banned or otherwise, hundreds of people have sent me suggestions on
words and phrases which they thought ought to be included on the list. Some
sent single items, while others submitted long lists they had obviously taken
some trouble to compile. I wish now I had kept a record of their names. Not
knowing I would one day attempt this project, my practice at the time was to add
the submitted entries to my "filth" folder, send the person a few autographed
items (albums, pictures, videos, shirts) in appreciation, and discard the
original letters. I wish I had handled it differently so that I could give them
credit here. But, of course, the real credit belongs to the thousands of people
over the centuries who invented these phrases in the first place, folk poets,
all. To those who sent me their suggestions, you know who you are, and I thank
you from the bottom of my farting clapper.
George Carlin
Male Genitals
---------------
aaron's rod arm
baby-maker beef
blue vein meatroll bald-headed butler
bald-headed mouse belly buster
bathtub eel bearded blood sausage
bird bone
baloney banana
bat bayonet
bean tosser beef
belly ruffian blade
broomstick bum tickler
bush beater button-hole worker
cock candle
carrot club
crack haunter cranny hunter
cracksman creamstick
culty gun carnal stump
chicken child-getter
chink-stopper corey
crook dick
dork dong
doniker dingus
dipstick dagger
dart of love dearest member
dickey ding-dong
dinger dingle-dangle
dummy dodaddy
dolly dooflicker
down-leg dragon
eel end
family organ fiddle bow
fish fishing rod
flapper fool-sticker
forefinger fucker
foreman gun
gut wrench giggle stick
gadget gardener
giggling pin gooser
gravy maker grinding tool
gristle gut stick
hair splitter hambone
hammer hanging johnny
hoe handle holy poker
horn hose
hot rod heat-seeking moisture missle
hairy hot dog jack in the box
jemson jerking iron
jigger jing hang
jockam johnnie
johhny one-eye the bald-headed champ
johnson joint
joy knob joy prong
joy stick key
kidney cracker kielbasa
king member knob
knocker ladies' delight
ladies' lollipop ladies' treasure
lamp of life lance
life preserver little brother
little willie liver turner
live sausage lizard
lob lobcock
lobster lollypop
long john love dart
love gun love missile
lucy lung disturber
mad mick magic wand
man-root marrow bone
master john thursday master of ceremonies
meat meat hook
meat whistle member
merry maker middle leg
milkman mister goodwrench
mister tom mouse
muscle mutton dagger
my body's captain natural scythe
needle nimrod
nippy noodle
noony old blind rob
one-eyed night crawler in the turtle neck sweater
one-eyed milkman one-eyed trouser trout
one-eyed wonder worm pant muscle
pecker pee-pee
pen pencil
pendulum perch
peter piccolo
pike staff pile driver
pin pink pencil
pipe pisser
pistol plugtail
pocket piccolo pocket rocket
pointer poker
pole pork
pork sword post
prick pride and joy
prong pud
pudding pump handle
purple-helmeted warrior of love
pup putz
quickening peg quimstake
ram ramrod
rawmeat reamer
redcap rod
rod of love rolling pin
root rudder
rupert russell the wonder muscle
st. peter salami
sausage sceptre
schlong sexing piece
shaft shmock
short arm shove devil
shvontz silent flute
skin flute snake
spigot spike-faggot
spindle split-rump
spout staff
steaming hot kanga stem
stick sting
stump sugar stick
sword tail pin
tally-whacker tassel
tent-peg thing
third leg thistler
throbber throbbing python of love
tickle-gizzard tickler
tong tool
torch of cupid toy
trap-stick trouser anaconda
tube steak uncle dick
vomiting cobra wand
wang wazoo
weapon wedge
wheenie wacker
whip whistle
whore-pipe wick
willie winkle
wire worm
yang yard
yosh zubrick
Well-Endowed (male)
--------------------
Basket for days donkey-rigged
double-shung hung like a bull
miracle meat timbered
tons of basket tons of meat
well-favored by nature well hung
yard
Semen
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baby food baby juice
bull gravy buttermilk
chism come
cream crud
cum duck butter
fetch glue
gravy hockey
honey hot milk
jam jazz
jelly jism
jizz juice
letch water load
love liquor man oil
marrow mettle
milk oil of man
ointment oyster
prick juice pudding
scum seed
slime soap
spendings sperm
spew spratz
spume spunk
starch stuff
tail juice tail water
tallow wad
white blow white honey
Semen Related
---------------
pearl necklace pecker tracks
wet dream
Ejaculate
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big bang bust your nuts
come come off
cream cum
die in a woman's lap drop your load
fire a shot get off
get the dirty water off your chest
get wet get your cookies
get your jollies get your rocks off
go off number three
pop a nut shoot
shoot off shoot your wad
spend squirt
Testicals
-----------
ballocks balls
bangers beecham's pills
bird's eggs boo-boos
charlies cherries
chestnuts clangers
cojones cubes
danglers eggs
family jewels glands
goolies jewels
kanakas love apples
marbles marshmallows
nards nuts
onions plums
pounders rocks
seeds slashers
spunk holders squirrel
food stones
swingers
Scrotum
---------
ball bag hairy bag
poke sack
Crab Lice
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active citizens crabs
crotch crickets gentlemen's companions
neighbors to the south pants rabbits
seam squirrels
Syphllis
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coachman on the box french gout
irish mutton ladies' fever
lifelong friend neapoliton bone ache
old joe siff
spanish needle the old dog
Gonorrhea
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buner clap
dose gleet
glim haircut
lues lulu
morning drop piss pins and needles
piss pure cream stank cock
strain tear
Female Genitals
-----------------
ace of spades adam's cave
altar of love bearded clam
beaver belly entrance
black bess bluebeard's closet
box brown madam
bull's eye bunny
bush button hole
cabbage patch canal
candle holder cat's meat
cave of harmony cavern
cellar door chocha
cleft clutch
cockpit cookie
coot cooch
cooze coupler
crack cranny
crease crevice
crotch crumpet
cunny cunny
cunt dimple
divine scar donut
drain eel-skinner
fish tank fort bushy
front window fur
furbox furburger
furrow gap
gaper gash
gate of heaven ginch
ginny girl-street
goat-milker gravy-maker
gully-hole hair
haircourt hair pie
happy valley harbour of hope
hatch hog eye
hole honey-hive
honey-pot horse collar
hot box hot spot
house under the hill irish fortune
itching jenny jack nasty-face
jaxy jelly-role
juice box keyhole
lady jane lamp of love
lapland lather-maker
little mary locker
long-eye love tunnel
lower lips magpie's nest
main vein manhole
mark of the beast meat
meat grinder mom's homemade slit pie
mound mount pleasant
mouse mouth-that-cannot-bite
muff naf
nature's tufted treasure nest
niche nook
nooky notch
oat-bin old mossyface
organ grinder oven
oyster catcher patch
pelt penwiper
pie piece
pin cushion pipe cleaner
piss flaps pit
playpen pocker
poke hole poontang
poor man's blessing prick purse
pussy quiff
quim quiver
rose screw-hole
slash slit
slot snapper
snappin' pussy snatch
snatch-box stank
steam room stuff
socket sportsman's gap
sugar basin tail
temple of low men tool-chest
toy shop treasure chest
trench triangle
trim tube
tuna taca tunnel
tunnel of love twat
tweeze twitcher
vag valley
venus highway vertical smile
wet cave of lust wooly-burger
works yawnie
yum-yum
Female Genitals (related)
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boy-in-the-boa Female Genitals (related)
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boy-in-the-boa Female Genitals (related)
---------------------------
boy-in-the-boa Female Genitals (related)
---------------------------
boy-in-the-boat bush
button cherry
clamp clit
clitty cleopatra
lady's low toupee lather
letch-water love juice
man-in-the-canoe merkin
mugget pussy fart
vaginal blood fart
Breasts
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apples balcony
balloons bangers
bazongas bean bags
big brown eyes bon-bons
boobies boobs
bottles boulders
bullets busters
bumpers butterbags
cantelopes gazongas
glands globes
grapefruits guavas
handful hand-warmers
headers headlights
hills honkers
hooters howitizers
jaboos jibs
jugs jumbos
kazongas knobs
knockers lactoids
loaves loblollies
love bubbles love muffins
lulus lungs
mammets mams
mangoes meatballs
meat loaves melons
milk cans milkshop
mounds mount of lillies
mountains muffins
mulligans murphies
nancies nature's fonts
niblets ninnies
nippers nodules
noogies nubbies
nuts oranges
orbs ottomans
pair nuts oranges
orbs ottomans
pair palookas
papayas paps
peaches peaks
pears pects
peepers pillows
pips pokers
pontoons potatoes
pumpkins pumps
rib cushions roundies
sandbags scones
scoops set
shakers shimmies
skin sacks snuggle pups
spheres spuds
stacks stuffing
sweater meat sweet rools
swingers tamales
tetons tidbits
tits titters
titties tomatoes
tooters torpedoes
twangers twin peaks
twofers umlauts
upper deck waldos
warheads warts
watermelons whoppers
wobblers wongas
yabbos yams
zeppelins
Menstruation
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aunt flo aunt rosie is in town
all's not quiet on the waterfront
blood week collywobbles
curse of eve drip
entertain the general fall off the roof
flying the flag having the painters in
high tide holy week
jinx little sister is here
monthlies my buddy
my friend on the bun
on the pole on the rag
period problem
ragging ragtime
red flag red sails in the sunset
riding the cotton bicycle riding the cotton pony
road up for repairs sick
stop sign tail flowers
that time that way
the captain is at home the curse
the foe the hammock is swinging
the plague the thing
the visitor turns
wearing the bulky roll woman's home companion
Sanitary Napkin
-----------------
bandage clout
cuntrag fanny rag
flag granny rag
manhole cover mouth mattress
muck rag pleasure garden padlock
rag red flag
window blinds
Pregnant
----------
about-to-find-pups apron up
baby-bound bagged
belly up big with child
broken-kneed clucky
cocked-up coming fresh
delicate condition double-ribbed
fragrant full of heir
gone to seed have a dumpling
have one in the oven have one's cargo aboard
in a family way in pod
in the pudding club in trouble
knocked up loaded
looking piggy on the bones
P.G. pillowed
preggers preggy
shot in the giblets storked
stung by a serpent swallowed a watermelon seed
up and coming up the stick
wedged up with squirrel
Fornication
-------------
a bit of jam action
ball ballock
boloney ride bananas and cream
bang basket making
batter beef
beef injection be in a woman's beef
belly ride belt
blanket drill blow off the loose corns
board boff
bone bore
bottle bounce
bump bump fur
bunny stick burry one's wick
bury the bone bush patrol
buzz the brillo cane
change one's luck charge
chuck a tread climb
cock up come across
couple with cover
crack it cram
crawl cream
cut dance the mattress jig
daub of the brush dick
dicky dunk diddle
dig your stinger in the honey dip your stick
dip your wick dirty work at the crossroads
do do a dive in the dark
do a flop do a push
do a slide up the board dog
do it do the deed
do the nasty ease nature
exchange spit feather-bed jig
feed the dummy fiddle
firk fit end to end
fix her plumbing flesh session
flop flop in the hay
four-legged frolic frig
fuck fun and games
get a bit get a chunk
get a crumpet get a hunk
get a little get a piece
get a snipper get a wet one
get home get in
get into her pants get into some serious flesh
get it on get jack in the orchard
get laid get lucky
get one's ashes hauled get one's greens
get one's leather stretched get one's noodle wet
get one's oil changed get some
get some action get some ass
get some crack get some hair
get some hole get some pussy
get some stuff get some tail
get some tweeze get your bean waxed
get your pole varnished give her a stab
go all the way go like a belt-fed motor
go to bed with go to it
go to town go vaulting
grease the wheel grind
grind on'e tool hanky-panky
have have a bit
have a bit of giblet pie have a bit of summer cabbage
have a blow through have sex with
hide the ferret hide the salami
hit on the tail hock
hop on horizontal refreshment
hose hot roll with cream
hump impale
introduce charlie invade
irish whist jazz
jink job
join paunches jounce
joy ride jug
juke jump
jump on one's bones knock
knock off a piece know
ladies' tailoring lay
lay off with lay some pipe
lay the hip lay some leg
leap leap on
lie lie with
lob in love
make make feet for childrens shoes
make it make love
make out with make the scene
making babies makin' whoopie
mate mess around
mingle limbs mix one's peanut butter
mount mugg
muss nail
mail two bellies together nick
nib nig
nub nut
oblige off
park your yacht in the hair harbor
peel one's best end peg
perform pestle
piece piece of ass
piece of pussy piece of snatch
piece of tail pile
pile-driving pin
plant the oats play at all fours
play hide the bone plow
pluck plug
pocket the red poke
pole pole work
polish your rocket pop
pork post a letter
pound pump
punch push
put the boots to put the tool in the shed
quimsticking ram
ride rip off
rites of venus roasting the broomstick
roll roll in the hay
rock rod
roger romp
root rootle
roust rub bacons
rub up rumble
rumple rutting
salt saw off a chunk
score screw
scutz around secret services
service shack up
crew
scutz around secret services
service shack up
shaft shag
shake shake the sheets
shoot between wind and water shoot one's wad
short arm practice shove
shtup sink the sausage
sink the soldier slam
sleep with slip her a length
slip into split
spoil suattin' on the hog
squat jumps in the cucumber patch
squeeze and a squirt stab
stable my naggie strop one's beak
strum stuff
swing tail-work
take a turn in the stubble take a turn on shooter's hill
tear off a piece tear the sheets
the disappearing cane trick the matrimonial polka
thread thread the needle
throw a hump throw a leg over
throw a shot thump
tie the true lover's knot tiff
tip the long one to be intimate
tooling in the woods tops and bottoms
trim trim the buff
trip up the rhine tumble
tumple turn up
twiddle varnish one's cane
vault vitamin F
wap wham
what mother did before me wind the clock
womanize work
work out work the dumb oracle
work the hairy oracle yard
yentz
Sexual Arousal (both sexes)
-----------------------------
blotty brimming
bulging cockish
dripping for it feeling hairy
frisky fuckish
gamy hairy
horny hot
hot-assed hot and bothered
hot nuts hot pants
humpy in the mood
in season itchy pants
juiced up juicy
lathered moist
motor running on for one's greens
oncoming pruning
ramish randy
ready rooty
ruttish sexed up
tumbling ripe turned on
up wet
Sexually Fixated
------------------
cock-happy cunny haunted
cunt-struck
Testaglia
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blue balls hot rocks
love nuts lover's nuts
stone ache
Condom
--------
balloon cheater
close combat sock diving suit
drop catcher eel skin
fear-not french letter
gasket joybag
one-piece overcoat pipe pullover
port said garter raincoat
rubber rubber glove
safe scumbag
sheath showercap
tail sheath
Erection
----------
bone boner
bone on burgeoning truncheon
captain standfish flagpole
hard hard-on
horn in one's best clothes
irish toothache mean-on
morning pride old hornington
on the stand pants pusher
piss hard piss proud
prod proud below the navel
proud mary rail
riser rise in the levi's
rod-on rock python
spike stalk
standing ware stand-up
stiff stiffer
steely dan sporting a sequoiya
throbber woody
Illegitimate Child
--------------------
accident adulterine
babe of love bachelor's son
bar steward bastard
born out of wedlock bush colt
bye-blow catch colt
chance-born chance child
hasty pudding love child
merry-begotton child misbegotten
momzer natural
nephew niece
out-child side wind
single child son of a bitch
squeaker stall whimper
whoreson yard child
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End of Part I
Continued in BB file #14
-=*/> Buzzz Bros. <\*=-
(c) MCMXCI
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