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Title: Who you gonna follow?
Author: Anna Mercury
Date: July 11, 2019
Language: en
Topics: social media, the Internet, media
Source: Retrieved on November 30, 2021 from https://medium.com/swlh/who-you-gonna-follow-c459e086753e

Anna Mercury

Who you gonna follow?

I remember the first time people started calling me cool. It was in

2016, I was living on a narrowboat in London, partying too much, and

suddenly all these people I was meeting through a new school program

kept telling me how cool they thought I was. It was flattering, but also

weird. I’ve never been a particularly cool person, nor a particularly

popular one. Not in school, not at work, not in life, and definitely not

on social media. My philosophy towards popularity is: fuck cool; be

warm.

Still, it felt validating. When people called my van (pictured above)

cool, it felt validating. The Instagram likes felt validating.

I like likes, because I like feeling validated. I think I’m pretty

caring, interesting and authentic. I genuinely work really hard to keep

becoming a better person by every standard I have for what that means. I

think my tattoos look pretty fly. But my guess is, the cool factor came

more from the weird living situations and the tattoos than it did from

being compassionate or thoughtful. The way I’ve been called cool has

never actually validated what I value most about myself.

The thing is, we all seek attention. We all need validation. When we

criticize those qualities in others, especially when it comes to others’

use of social media, we are mostly talking about ourselves and shaming

ourselves for having desires for attention. Everything is a mirror.

But we all need attention. As members of a tragically self-aware and

interdependent species, we cannot survive if our needs are not attended

to and met by others. So, let go of your bootstraps, bucko; your rugged

individualism is a fantasy.

I think social media has given us a convenient approximation of actual

attention and validation, and we’ve come to rely on it to a point of

detriment to our ability to find actual attention and validation. The

classic example of checking Facebook while having dinner with someone

comes to mind.

But I think there is more to it than just this inverse relationship.

There was something we were craving, when the first social media

platforms took off, that made them so wildly popular. Perhaps none of us

were receiving the validation and attention we needed from other humans,

due to emotionally incompetent parents or emotionally corrosive

institutions across government and culture or a society rooted in an

understanding of what’s valuable that regularly invalidates us for

liking to do anything that doesn’t easily turn a profit (usually, a

profit for someone else).

We’re craving authentic connection and community. Authenticity withers

in the face of coercion and force. Connection feels contrived and

obligatory. We’re craving authentic validation and attention, for who

and what we are, as full people with unique interests and needs and

lives. This requires us to be allowed to express ourselves fully and

freely.

No wonder we’ve chosen options that give us more of what we crave. Even

though harmful and oppressive ideals are perpetuated through social

media, we at least have some power to represent ourselves, and choose

for ourselves from a diversity of options whom to follow, when, and to

what extent to listen to them.

Typically, when we talk about a follower, the opposite term is a leader.

I think it’s interesting that on social media, we talk about influencers

instead.

What standard would we hold our influencers to if we thought of them as

leaders? Having influence is having power. What accountability would we

expect? What code of ethics, and who would decide upon it? Public Lands

Hate You would say influencers need to be more accountable and take more

responsibility for their power. Its detractors would not.

What standard would we hold our leaders to if we thought of them as

influencers? Would we ever accept their rule as absolute or their

hierarchical power as moral? Would we accept not really having other

options to switch to if our consent to their rule wanes?

It’s funny how we like candidates for emotional reasons more than

rational ones. It’s almost like our emotions matter more to us than our

thoughts. Just look at the entire phenomenon of people actually liking

Beto O’Rourke because they think he’s cool and he stands on tables a

lot.

I don’t like Selena Kardashian Grande Frappuccino or whatever either,

but at least people choose to listen to what they have to say and to

consume awareness of their lives, rather than having no other viable

option. I don’t follow them. I follow some influencers who I deem make

my life better for whatever reason, and if I don’t like what Beige

Cardigan or Contrapoints is up to, I can always unfollow them.

I suppose this is social media, too. You can always unfollow me.

We don’t vote for one social media influencer once every four years from

a narrowly-derived list of rich and powerful people that rich and

powerful people deemed appropriate candidates for us.

The Internet is, in some ways, an approximation of Anarchism: the

political philosophy of non-hierarchy, horizontalism, free association,

mutual aid and self-determination. It is not indicative of an anarchist

society. First, Internet-based companies and ISPs are still monopolistic

in society and undemocratic in structure. Second, governments keep

making repeated efforts to police and control bodies and minds on the

Internet the way they try to in physical reality.[1] Third, we cannot

take ideas of “anarchy on the Internet” as a basis for what anarchism

would look like in human community. The whole point is community —how

the human relationships we have with one another shape our

decision-making. Dispersed power within physically-close communities

looks very different than dispersed power across an infinite

non-physical space.[2]

What social media does retain of an anarchist society is free

association: we can choose whom to follow and when and why, and we can

unfollow and ignore and block. We cannot do this with our governments.

Though paid advertisement and public voice beyond social media limit

this, social media popularity, and therefore power, is also democratic

and largely consensual.

The most important feature of an anarchist society that social media

upholds is self-determination, and self-representation. We have the

ability to choose what of ourselves to put forwards, and determine for

ourselves if, when and how to do so. We have the ability to choose whom

to follow and for what reasons. We have a diversity of options, and the

ability to choose for ourselves which ones to take.

If all social media platforms had democratically-elected moderators and

consensual community agreements made with the input of all involved in

the community, and multiple options for which platform to use to get

your needs met, they might look more like an anarchist society.

I think the fact that platforms like Twitter, Youtube and Instagram

became so wildly popular shows that what we’re craving is far more than

just validation and attention. We’re craving sovereignty,

self-determination, and free association too.

What happens when self-determination meets community? Authentic mutual

aid.

As more and more people turn away from social media and back to their

in-person lives for connection, validation and attention, we’re also

seeing a rise in people fed up with any system that doesn’t allow them

to represent themselves and disassociate from leaders whose rule they

find abhorrent. I do not think these trends are coincidental.

We’re craving a democratization of access to power. We need to have our

needs met and the power to meet them. This includes the power to be

validated as ourselves, and more agency over how that happens. Real,

direct democracy is all about seeing everyone’s needs and perspectives

as valid, and giving everyone the chance to figure out how to meet them

in community.

What interests me so much about the “accountability of influencers”

conversations are that they’re exactly the kinds of conversations we

need to be having about our political structures, about if and how those

structures meet our needs, and how directly accountable they should be

to us.

Understanding the intersections and differences between the two kinds of

being a “follower” can help us to understand our needs and how to meet

them together more broadly. At the end of the day, both kinds of

following are about power: what we have, what others have, and who gets

to decide.

[1] I wrote my undergraduate thesis on the U.S. government policing

whistleblowing and activism on the Internet, and if any nerds want to

chat hacktivism and the CFAA, hit me up. I haven’t delved into it much

in the past few years and would be interested in hearing what’s new in

that conversation.

[2] For more about dispersing power by keeping it held at the grassroots

within communities of people who can actually talk to one another, I

recommend that you google Murray Bookchin.