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Title: queering heterosexuality
Author: Sandra Jeppesen
Date: 2012
Language: en
Topics: queer, sexuality, gender roles, relationships, intimate relationships, polyamory, education
Source: Scanned from “queering anarchism” published by AK Press

Sandra Jeppesen

queering heterosexuality

 

in this piece i will be considering the impact that taking on queer

politics has had in my life, thinking through ways that queering

anarchism might happen in the lives of anarchists and

anti-authoritarians who society may identify as heterosexual due to the

sex and/ or gender of the object of their desire, but who ourselves

disidentify with all things straight, perhaps even with the

subject-position of heterosexual. what does this mean? this means that

we are working on queering straight-seeming spaces, that we are

straight-ish allies of queer struggles, challenging heteronormativity in

the anarchist movement, as well as in the mainstream spaces we inhabit,

from workplaces to families, from classrooms to cultural

productions. this piece itself is one intervention that attempts to

queer the space of narrative and theory, through non-capitalization[1],

on the one hand, and on the other hand, through mobilizing a personal

narrative to think through or theorize the queering of heterosexuality

and the de-heteronormativizing of ‘straight-acting’ spaces. through an

examination of the queering of hetero-space from an anarchist

perspective, a liberatory politics of sexualities and genders emerges

that intersects with anarchaqueer liberation[2] in challenging dominant

forms of social organization including the state, marriage, capitalism,

parenting, love relationships, friendships, families, and other

important sites of anarchist politics and struggle.

through a meeting of anarchist and queer politics, we have found

alternative positions, actions and relationships that are more

profoundly meaningful to us. this is not to stake a claim in queer

theory or queer politics for “straight” people—that would be exactly not

the point. rather it is to acknowledge an indebtedness to these spaces,

places, people and movements, while at the same time acknowledging that,

as people who might have partnerships that appear “straight,” we can

pass as heterosexual, and accrue the privilege that our society accords

this category. nonetheless as non-straight-identified heteros, we take

on anarchaqueer issues by living as queerly as possible. in other words,

queer practices and theories are important for the liberation of

heterosexuals from normative standards of intimate relationships from

friendships to sexualities. moreover, queering heterosexuality reveals

that the categories homosexual and heterosexual are wholly inadequate to

describing the vast array of sexualities available to us once we start

exploring beyond the heteronormative.

where did this all start for me? i’ve never been “normal” as far as

sexuality goes. but thinking of queerness as relevant to my own life

started at a particular identifiable moment for me when i was

volunteering at who’s emma[3], the anarchist punk infoshop in toronto. a

(white gay male) friend took me aside one day and said that, while he

admired my anarchafeminist, anti-capitalist politics, could i consider

the possibility of including gay or queer issues in my conception of

anarchism. of course, was my immediate response. i think i must have

blushed as well, as i was a bit embarrassed, to be honest, to have to be

asked something so obvious. but he didn’t criticize me for something i

wasn’t doing, rather he opened up a space for something new—to move

beyond heteronormative conceptions of anarchist politics. this was an

incredibly important moment for me, though i did not know it at the

time.

i am relating this as a series of narratives about conversations that i

have had with many different people over the years, or experiences that

i and my friends have had and talked about. as queer and/ or

anti-heteronormative anarchists i think we value personal experience and

interpersonal exchanges as an important site of political knowledge

production. in other words, we learn a lot about a wide range of

political ideas, about the oppressiveness of language, and about our own

position in the world we live in through conversations. through sharing

narratives and stories. i want to value and give credit to the people,

experiences and collective spaces that have helped me to learn about

queer politics. i also want to put together some of these stories in a

kind of collection of narratives here, to preserve, at least to some

extent, the form in which i encountered them. of course they are

filtered through my own perspective, and the lessons i’ve learned from

them. moreover, the things they made me think about may be very

different than the things they might bring up for readers, and i want to

acknowledge this. my knowledge and my perspective will of course have

their limits. at the same time, i did not want to theorize these

experiences, putting a kind of intellectual distance between myself and

the ideas because that is not how i encountered them. nonetheless i will

be engaging many concepts, ideas and theories. our education system

teaches us to understand stories one way and ideas another (for example,

we study literature or stories differently than we study philosophy or

ideas). it is my hope that these narratives will be understood not as

cute little stories about my life, but rather as a source of important

ideas about sexualities that might be useful to straight people in

becoming antiheterosexist straight allies. and one last hope i have is

that many more people will tell their own stories, which will be taken

seriously by anarchist and other readers in our struggles toward radical

social and political transformation.

friendship, sexuality, polyamory and other intimaciesBerlant,

Lauren, ed. Intimacy. Chicago: U Chicago P, 2000.

anarchaqueer theories and practices start with the basics. how do we

relate to people emotionally and sexually? how have these types of

relationships largely been determined by oppressive systems such as

patriarchy, heteronormativity, capitalism, families, culture, and the

state, systems that we do not believe in, and which we are constantly

rethinking and struggling to dismantle? while i had been a promiscuous

feminist who, from a very young age, rejected gendered roles and

stereotypes, up to the point when i was volunteering at who’s emma, my

personal experience of non-monogamy had been pretty rocky. during my

undergraduate degree, i struggled against the sexual double standard

where women were not supposed to want sex, engaging in casual sex or

short-term serial monogamous relationships, and taking a lot of flak for

it. i then had a few nonmonogamous relationships in the punk scene. in

one case, when the relationship became long distance, one of us was poly

and one was not. we had bad communication in terms of disclosure and

trust. eventually we broke up over it. in another, we both had other

partners, and we communicated better at times, but not consistently so.

we didn’t know anyone else who was having this kind of relationship.

eventually we broke up for other reasons.

when i encountered the anarchist scene in toronto, largely at who’s emma

and the free skool, it seemed like everyone was into polyamory, and

people did not really distinguish among partners based on sex, gender,

age, or anything else. i had many friends who were having non-monogamous

(or non-mono as we called it) relationships at the time, so we were all

talking about these things. it was a bit of a free-for-all in terms of

hook-ups, which was really fun, and there were also many longer term

relationships that were both fun and serious. we started to think about

how the word nonmonogamy was a reification of the centrality or supposed

“normalcy” of monogamy, and we wanted to have a different starting

place, a multiplicity of amorous possibilities, so we started to use the

word polyamory instead. poly for short. there was an important resource

book at the time that we were all reading called The Ethical Slut[4].

also at that time, people said “treat your lovers like friends and your

friends like lovers.” we have a lot more expectations of lovers, we do a

lot more processing about where the relationship is going, negotiating

space, articulating needs, setting boundaries, expressing

disappointment, etc. and sometimes we forget to have fun and just really

enjoy the time we have together. we can be really harsh toward lovers,

perhaps because we feel so vulnerable. that’s where we need to be better

friends to our lovers. with friends we’re more likely to cut them some

slack, to let things be a little more fluid. no big deal if they’re

late, or miss a hang-out once in a while, for example. on the positive

side, with lovers, we tend to do lots of special little things for them,

like cooking their favorite food, making DIY zines or bringing them some

little thing when we meet, something that says, i was thinking of you,

something that shows we love them. along these lines, we need to be more

loving to our friends, do more special things for them, go out on dates

with them, make little heartfelt presents for them expressing how much

we care. be more attentive to their needs, be supportive in day-to-day

ways. treat them more like lovers.

i think around this time, to take one example, a friend and i were both

not in any sexual relationship, so for valentine’s day, almost

satirically, one year she invited me over for a dinner date. she ran me

a bath, handed me a glass of wine, and cooked dinner while i relaxed in

the tub. the following year i did something similar for her. they were

oddly romantic non-romantic, very caring friend-dates.

at this time in toronto there were a few long-term polyamorous

“super-couples” who were held up as an example of the potential of

polyamory to work. if they can do it, so can we, we all thought. they

had good communication, and some interesting strategies that we learned

from. one couple, when they were going out to a party, would decide

ahead of time if it was a date or not. if not, they were free to hook up

with other people. another poly couple i knew lived together, and had

the guideline that they couldn’t hook up with someone else at their

shared apartment. regardless of what the rules were, what was

interesting to me was that any two people could make their own rules.

you could say what you wanted, and listen to what the other person

wanted, and then try it out, and check in with each other afterward and

see how they felt about how it went. this for me was super different

than heterosexual monogamy which had a bunch of rules, none of which

made any sense to me, like the rule about how if you show how jealous

you are, it means you really care about the other person. or if you hook

up with one person, and then a second person, it means you don’t like

the first person anymore, whereas in my experience, feelings for one

person tended to have little bearing on, or perhaps even augmented, my

feelings for another person. being able to incorporate this emotional

experience into openly negotiated multiple relationships was awesome.

for me, this openness to building relationships from scratch, not

entirely without rules, but negotiating guidelines as needed, makes an

appearance in queer theory, in eve sedgwick’s first axiom, “people are

all different.”[5] we all have different bodies, different body parts,

different desires; we all want different things from relationships,

whether they are intimate, sexual or otherwise. so why shouldn’t we

negotiate our relationships ourselves instead of following a

heteronormative set of scripts. this was also different for me than my

previous open relationships in the punk scene where people sometimes

practiced dishonesty or coercion and called it non-monogamy. i didn’t

learn tools for negotiating toward meeting each other’s needs in the

punk scene. it was more like, i can’t be monogamous, so you can either

be non-monogamous with me or we can break up. there was no way to say,

hey, what you just did hurt me—is there some way we can deal with this

by communicating in ways that rebuild trust?

at some point i was lucky to participate in a class at the toronto

anarchist free university[6] about polyamory. one of the best things the

facilitator said was that, no matter how often or for what reason you

have sex with a person, you still need to be honest and respectful with

them. even if their motivations are different than yours (e.g. a party

night hook-up or one-night-stand might be one person’s motivation,

whereas an active polyamorous practice committed to alternative sexual,

intimate, and community-based relationships might be the other’s).

honesty and respect, appropriate establishing of consent among all

concerned parties (including sometimes those who are not present i.e.

the other person’s other partner/s), setting boundaries, and following

through on what you’ve said are all critical elements of the encounter.

to me this seems so far away from what heterosexual relationships are

normally like, that it is actually something else. even if your

partnerships are “straight.”

for me, the polyamory scene and the radical queer scene were connected.

we would get all glammed up to go to vazaleen, will munro’s radical

queer punk anarchist dance party in toronto. people who hung out at

vazaleen included trans people, drag queens and kings, and queers of all

kinds. some “straight” people went as well, but we were the kind of

straight people who disidentified with being straight. we didn’t

identify with our birth sex/gender, we avoided norms or stereotypes of

heterosexuality, we were critical of the objectification of women, we

denounced predetermined gender scripts and sexuality scripts which we

saw as connected to capitalism and patriarchy. perhaps we identified

with queerness, for example, being attracted to people of a particular

subculture, such as bears or femmie boys or butch dykes or trannies or

whatever. it was a place where lots of gender and sex subversion and

play happened. a queer space full of queers of course, some of whom were

anarchists, some of whom were non-straight-acting heteros. i loved

vazaleen because there was no sense, for me at least, of a normative

sexuality. certainly it was not heteronormative. but it was not

homonormative either. it did not echo mainstream representations of “gay

couples” such as we might see on The L Word, or Queer Eye, with

assimilationist, consumerist norms. instead it felt like a space of many

sexual resistances.

non-normative sexualities

non-normative sexuality means, among other things, that people ditch

sexual norms, and just hook up with and have long-term relationships

with whoever inspires them, doing whatever they are into sexually. for

me, sometimes this is women, sometimes it is men. often it is with

people who are not my age. when i was younger i dated older people and

now that i’m a bit older i seem to date younger people. these are more

or less the people i seem to find myself hanging out with. i don’t

really see age as an interesting way of dividing people. my friendships

have always been across ages and even generations. my current partner is

more than ten years younger than me. when we got together we were

polyamorous and, although we communicated well and had great sex, we

weren’t taking the relationship too seriously. it was lots of fun. we

both had other partners, but soon that kind of went away, and we made

more of an explicit commitment to each other, first to be primary

partners, and then to be monogamous. i’ve always felt a little

ambivalent about this decision. recently i moved to another town, and we

decided to be poly, although neither of us have acted on it yet.

this relationship is really amazing for me. he’s super sexy and we have

a red hot sex life in which we do a lot of non-heteronormative things

(whatever that means—i’m not telling you). i feel like this is

particular to my own sexuality but also to the way i develop trust and

caring or intimacy with a partner. he has the kind of emotional

intelligence and empathy that is stereotypically not associated with

men, and which is very important in keeping our relationship strong,

perhaps because i do not, and so i am learning these things from him.

today when someone called they said his voice sounds androgynous, and

maybe that is part of the attraction, too. he doesn’t fit the gender

scripts[7] any more than i do. for both of us, the non-normativity of

the relationship is at least one of the things that keeps it alive and

interesting.

on the other hand, i worry that our age difference means that there is a

power imbalance, which we have acknowledged, and we work together to try

to compensate and make sure it is more equalized. another thing that

concerns me is that maybe in being attracted to younger people, i am

somehow replicating ageism—both the ageism in the anarchist scene which

is really a youth-oriented scene, and a kind of internalized ageism that

mainstream society offers where youth is valued and age is something we

are supposed to fight or disavow, rather than accept or even respect (as

some cultures do). sometimes i think it is unfortunate that there is not

a lot of age diversity in the anarchist “scene.” one thing that happens

a lot is that when i tell people my age they say i look a lot younger.

this is supposed to be a compliment and i don’t find it insulting. but

at the same time, it sometimes makes me feel like there is something

wrong with me being the age that i am. that somehow i would be better if

i were younger. or conversely, that i am doing something

age-inappropriate that makes people think i am younger. i wonder if this

internalized ageism plays a role in partner choice as well, in terms of

who i might find attractive. what is considered attractive in older men

in mainstream representations makes me a bit nauseous. i think who i am

attracted to is more connected, however, to my punk roots and that

particular aesthetic.

queer parenting and community

i think another way that anarchism has allowed me to have a more

non-heteronormative life is the acceptance of not reproducing children,

in a community in which people’s choices are accepted. when i chose to

be polyamorous, it was accepted. i find being monogamous is also

generally accepted because there is the notion of radical monogamy,

which interrupts gender and sexuality scripts. some people i know have

expressed a hesitation to admit that they have chosen to be monogamous,

because there is now, ironically perhaps, an expectation of polyamory

among anarchists. not having children is also accepted, whereas

mainstream society tends to look askance at women who choose not to have

children, or who choose politics over children. for example, when

ulriche meinhof, who was part of the red army faction in germany,

decided to leave her children behind and become an active urban

guerrilla, living underground and working to overthrow the german state,

there were many newspaper reports that demonized her for this (not for

her political actions in and of themselves), and said she was not just a

bad mother, but somehow actually insane for leaving her children with

their father.[9 ]for anarchists, though, there seems to be no

presumption about anyone’s life pattern or direction, in terms of

getting married, settling down, having kids, doing political actions,

etc. there is a sense that you can do things the way you choose, and

people try as much as possible to create new paths for themselves, with

the support of other people in our communities.

instead of following a prescriptive path—marriage, kids, house in the

suburbs—a long time ago i decided i would rather follow the path of

collective living. this was a conscious decision, because i felt that i

was unlikely to find, and did not want to succumb to, a happily married

suburban life. in fact, that terrified me. it was such a relief to read

a book called soft subversions by felix guattari where he talks about

growing up in the suburbs and how alienating that was for him, how it

made him feel kind of “schizo around the edges.”[8] i love that book. so

i gave up on that whole dream, it was more of a nightmare for me anyway,

growing up in the suburbs among the children of bureaucrats, people who

were afraid of an active, gritty life in the city, so they moved to an

area of carefully coifed lawns and polite conversation. dead time, as

the situationists say.[9]

when i first wrote this piece, i was living in a crowded four-bedroom

apartment in downtown montreal with three other people, one of whom

happens to be my partner. it is a queer space and we tend to have queer

room-mates by intention. our broader community includes the st. henri

anarchist punks, student and academic anarchists, the radical queer and

trans scene, anti-racist activists, and lots of different feminists.

these loose groupings extend across canada, into the united states, and

to places like korea, france and germany. our community also includes a

lot of people who don’t fit into any of these identities, who are

nomadic geographically and categorically.

some people in our community have kids, some don’t. some people think

the current geo-eco-political situation is too unstable to have kids,

but some are brave enough to do it anyway. eight years ago, i was living

in a collective house in toronto with five other people. three of us

wanted to have kids at that point, me and two other women. one of them

was part of a super-couple who had been together in a polyamorous

relationship for several years, about four years i think. in addition to

her cis-gender male partner, the woman was starting to see a person who

was a “non-bio-boy” (a term no longer used as it is rooted in biological

determinism), a gender queer guy or trans man (in fact, all of these

labels are fraught with complex histories and uses, and may also, like

non-bio-boy, fall out of use as we invent new terms that work better).

they all three moved together into a big collective house with several

other people, and started planning how they would conceive and raise a

child together. in the end, though, she broke up with the cis-gender

guy, and conceived a baby with a sperm donation from an ex-partner of

her trans partner. they are monogamous now and raising the baby

together. we had a funny conversation a few years ago when we both

confessed to being in monogamous relationships, like it was a dirty

secret.

the other woman was strictly monogamous. she started dating a woman and

they decided to have a baby together and live together as a couple.

interestingly both women decided to have babies with sperm donors whom

they knew and had long-term friendships with. the larger community

living space becomes smaller when you have a baby, and more intensified.

community works itself into your life in other ways.

in my case, on the baby project, i met several times with an expartner

who has a current partner and two children, living in new york city. we

were considering the possibility of having a baby together, and talked

about how the future might be, with his current partner and their

children. but then he mentioned that he thought it might be better if

she didn’t know about it. i didn’t think that was a very good idea. it

seemed like a non-consensual decision, in which all parties’ consent

would not be obtained. i didn’t go through with it. i decided not to

have a baby after all.

people make choices about having children in different ways, even people

who may be in what appear to be heterosexual relationships. considering

the consent of all parties, working around or against the legal sperm

donor clinic method of conception (very expensive and medicalized), or

even deciding to abstain from breeding. interestingly, for me, this

decision has meant that i am trying to make deeper connections to people

aside from my partner. i feel the need to have closer friendships, and

to be more loving to more people, not in a sexual way, but in an

intimate friendship way, developing creative collaborative partnerships,

finding mutually supportive ways of interacting with people, and in fact

spending more time, as i grow older, with nieces and nephews who are

scattered all over the country, who are unrelated to the anarchist

scene, but who are nonetheless of course an important part of my

community.

liberation, responsibility and intimacy

in this context, liberation becomes a kind of odd concept. i still like

spontaneous walks down by the train tracks, dérives, and nomadic urban

wanderings as much as the next anarchist. taking off freighthopping

across the country, or traveling wherever, no apartment, no money, but

always finding places to stay, people who will take you places or take

you in. this was always liberating for me, on the fringe of capitalism,

against the way middle-class people travel, or live generally speaking,

tied to house and job.

but then a year or two ago i was at an anarchist workshop where the

facilitator had a very interesting take on the notion of responsibility.

i feel like mainstream society has inculcated in us the value of

irresponsibility, and in anarchism we seem to link this to freedom, to

nomadology, to spontaneity, and liberation. whereas really it is a kind

of trapping capitalist individualism that seems unsustainable.

for example, i had a conversation with a friend once who had broken up

with a partner because he was going traveling. i asked if that was a bit

selfish, in that he wasn’t really considering her needs or feelings. he

countered that he had to put himself first. to me, this is a sentiment

that i think a lot of people might agree with, anarchists or not, though

by anarchists it might be couched in terms of a liberatory politics. but

it seems more like a failure to be responsible to those people with whom

we are engaged in intimate relationships.

at the workshop, the facilitator, who was an older indigenousidentified

male, said that responsibility tells us where we belong in our lives. i

have always been troubled by this notion of belonging, yearning for it

in some ways, and yet unable to find it because i was charmed by the

notion of spontaneity, freedom, the nomad life, new friendships and

relationships everywhere with everyone who came along. at the same time,

i was also perplexed by how i loved people who were always roaming, and

that made it impossible to have a long-term relationship because we

would break up or not see each other for long periods of time, and

re-connections were difficult. i think i dreamed of finding a nomadic

partner who would travel with me and we could be spontaneous together,

and that this would be a sort of traveling set of roots that i could

take with me.

now i think of responsibility differently, i think of it as a deep

connection to another person, related to intimacy. it means that we

think of their feelings and needs as equal to our own, and quite often,

more important than our own. we can also think of our responsibility to

self as, rather than being in conflict with responsibility to others,

being profoundly connected with a responsibility to others, in the very

anarchist sense that the liberation of one person is predicated upon the

liberation of those around them. to take one example of how this works

in everyday practice, this means that a person can ask people in their

community for help when they have a health need, because there is an

implicit understanding that we each need to take care of ourselves and

be taken care of, and that when other people have health needs we will

in turn be there for them. so taking care of other people is nurturing

ourselves, our community, and the reverse is also true—asking for care

is in a way nurturing other people, and developing in our community the

capacity for nurturance. this feeds the fostering of intimacies in

community with others beyond heteronormative coupled partnerships.

to tie this back to the notion of queering anarchism, what i think queer

practices offer to anarchism is a language of intimacy. this language

and its concomitant practice of intimacy is crucial for a revolutionary

politics. radical queer politics and practices offer to non-normative

heterosexual relationships a range of possibilities, including

polyamory, intimate friendships, expressive communities, mental and

physical and emotional mutual aid health care, and sexualities that are

predicated on intimacy, respect and consent. of course it doesn’t always

work out as perfectly as this all sounds. but that too is a lesson of

queering anarchism. relationships are a lifelong process of negotiation

and sharing, of putting mutual aid into practice in layers of more

intimate and less intimate relationships. what i think anarchism offers

to radical queer spaces, groups, networks and communities, is a way of

putting consent, respect, nonhierarchical love, emotional nurturance,

and collective living into relationships so that those communities can

grow and sustain themselves/ourselves, with an anti-statist and

anti-capitalist perspective, and bringing in anti-racism,

anti-colonialism and other related or intersectional movements and

ideas. so in addition to queering anarchist movements, we are

anarchizing queer movements. what emerges is a vision of queer and

anarchism not as two separate things that are starting to come together

(certainly the history of the anarchist movement is full of queers and

the history of the queer movement is full of anarchists!) but rather a

mutual aid relationship in which the boundaries between the two bleed

into one another and they become inextricable.

queering heterosexuality from an anarchist perspective takes place in

this context, where relationships are no longer heteronormative, where

we are also moving away from homonormativity (the capitalist, state-run,

white-dominated “gay pride” model, for example), and indeed open up into

non-normative sexualities, where the labels homo and hetero are

challenged at a basic level. sexuality like gender is thus a narrative,

as my room-mate said the other day, a fluid series of experiences that

we can write and rewrite as we live through them, things we can invent

or get rid of, as we see fit, in a kind of multiplicitous,

inter-connected, non-linear, rhizomatic diversity of sexualities and

genders that we engage throughout our lifetimes.

non-heteronormative desires

i had a conversation with a friend of mine last week about our

nonheteronormative heterosexual relationships. he is dating someone new,

and was having an odd experience, or at least he thought it was odd

until he started talking to friends about it. and then it turns out that

there are many people having a similar experience. among anarchist

hetero couples, if i may generalize for a moment, it seems that the guys

are doing a really good job of being soft and sensitive, of taking

direction from women when it comes to intimacy, to sexuality, and

friendship. there is a new kind of language where men have had to find

ways of expressing desire without being direct or aggressive. a

tentative language, a conditional language, a language of questions

rather than demands: would it be okay if? what if i told you?

for feminists, for women who want to be respected in friendships, in

intimate relationships, and in sexualities, this is sweet. it makes

relationships wonderful and warm and open and caring and loving. it’s

fabulous. so where is the odd experience in all of this, you may be

wondering?

sometimes, as women, we want to feel passionately desired. we might want

to be swept away with passion and desire. we might even want things to

get a bit rough, you know, a bite on the neck, an uncomfortable

position. sex on the floor under a table, or going at it so hard we

almost fall off the bed before we even notice. (and this isn’t news to

anyone into bdsm or other fetish sex that explores intentional power

exchanges in sex). i could go on, but i’ll get to the point, which is

this—we seem to be creating new norms, and in those norms, there are

built-in things like respect and communication, gentleness and

sensitivity, and these are all of course great things, and should be a

key component in every relationship, from sexual ones to intimacies to

friendships to parenting to teaching to work relationships and family.

but, as with any set of norms, including polyamory and other forms of

anti-heteronormative relationships, the risk is that we become fixed in

a certain set of behaviors, and forget that we have the power and agency

to say what we want, to negotiate through active listening and honest

disclosure, and to achieve very fluid and lively relationships that do

not stagnate or conform to previous expectations, or someone else’s idea

of what is right or wrong for us.

dylan vade is a trans lawyer who has written about the gender galaxy,

which is the idea that gender and sex are not configured as a binary

(male/female or masculine/feminine) but rather there are thousands of

different ways of living out our sex/genders, in a galaxy, where some

genders may cluster together into constellations, and sometimes these

constellations are perceptible, but sometimes they are not.[10] i’d like

to think that sexualities are like this too. rather than the binary

homosexual/heterosexual, there are thousands of different ways of living

out our sexualities.

this leads me to one last thing that i have recently started having

conversations about. we had a houseguest a few weeks ago, a woman who

took advantage of the same-sex marriage rights in canada and got married

a few years back. as her partner started female-to-male transitioning,

their same-sex status became a bit more fluid. she said that now that he

has fully transitioned, they are read by others as a heterosexual

couple. she enjoys high-femme camp performance in everyday life,

particularly when it is queer, and is now unsure how this will be

interpreted by others, which is most often as straight. when a queer

gender performance is misread as heterosexual, the risk is that the play

with signifiers—the feminine dresses, the 1950s style and behavior,

etc.—will be misunderstood by both queers and heteros as reinforcing

gender role stereotypes rather than subverting them. it is also odd, she

said, to suddenly be experiencing heterosexual privilege in her

public[11] life, whereas her private relationship is still very queer

and does not feel privileged. to put it another way, her narrative of

sexuality is not one of privilege, and yet this is how strangers now

engage with her and her partner. the narrative thus is becoming

uncertain, or what bobby noble calls incoherent.[14 ]this is another way

in which queering heterosexuality may take place in radical queer

milieus and lives.

another FTM trans person has told me how he now struggles to be accepted

as queer or trans, since people read him as a straight man, though he

lived for nearly forty years as a woman and a lesbian. he almost feels

like he can no longer be part of the queer community, unless he is among

friends who have known him a long time. for example, he told me that he

recently went out to a bar that had a reduced cover charge for trans

men, and he had to really insist that he was trans. the door person

wouldn’t believe him. he repeatedly thanked the person, because they

were reaffirming his sex/gender of choice, but in the end, he had to

show the dreaded ID that still listed his gender as “F” in order to be

accepted as a trans man. oh, the irony. this is not an experience that

any trans person wants to go through. it demonstrates how

heteronormativity, which causes people to assume everyone is

gender-straight and non-queer, seems to permeate even queer scenes that

are attempting to privilege trans people. furthermore, it reveals how

even in spaces committed to radical queer and trans politics and

subjectivities, the notion that someone’s own self-identification should

be accepted at face value, without having to provide coherent

identification, is not always put into practice very well.

this is yet another one of the risks of queering heterosexuality.

heterosexuality of course needs to be challenged, to be queered, to be

wrested from its place of privilege. at the same time, we need to be

very careful not to heterosexualize or heteronormativize queer spaces,

subjectivities, identities, ideas, theories, and the like. there is a

role here for heterosexual queer allies, even those of us who cringe at

the word heterosexual and strongly disidentify with it. i believe and

hope that we can queer our practices, without claiming queer as our own,

or appropriating it. in other words, the idea is to support queer

struggles, to integrate queer ideas into our practices, to be as queer

as possible, in order to work as allies to end queer oppression. the

idea certainly is not—and this is another risk—to perform queer

identities when it is convenient and then return to our heterosexual

privilege unchanged or unchallenged by the experience.

liberation means this. it means we keep writing the narrative of our

lives, our desires, our genders, our sexualities. it means that, rather

than having the kind of freedom janis joplin sang about (you know,

freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose) when my parents

were exploring their open relationship (that is another story in

itself!) we have liberatory experiences and relationships that are

grounded in communities and long-term commitments to exploring what

these relationships mean and how they can best be fulfilling to all

involved. for me, to get to this openness, the queer and/or anarchist

communities that i have encountered over the years have been crucial.

crucial to who i am as a person, but more than that— crucial to

revolutionary politics. the entire capitalist patriarchal white

supremacy that structures our world unequally, and indeed preys on

unequal relations of power, requires heteronormative relationships.

break down those kinds of relationships, and we are also starting to

break down patriarchy, white supremacy, and capitalism. as jamie heckert

argues, breaking down micro-fascisms at the level of identities and

intimate relationships is at the root of resistance to macro-fascisms at

the level of institutions and structures of power.[12] queer practices,

relationships, communities, scenes, and intimacies thus are making

important contributions toward profoundly liberatory modes of being,

doing, thinking, feeling and acting in the world that are intensely

political. even for heteros.

[1] challenging standard orthography (writing systems) by not using

capital letters, by using ‘improper’ grammar such as sentence fragments

and the like, has a long history and a complex set of motivations. most

importantly, it challenges the phallogocentric domination of textual

representation i.e. the presumed superiority of phallic (masculine)

logos (use of words, acts of speech) that underlies western traditions

of philosophy, theory, literary studies and other logocentric

disciplines, and that can lead to semiotic subjugation (Guattari, Felix.

Soft Subversions. New York: Semiotext(e), 1996.)—the feeling that we are

subjugated to language rather than subjects that can speak through

language. second, it challenges the privileging of the written word over

oral traditions. third, it challenges pedagogical norms that are imposed

upon school children from a young age, norms called into question by

anarchist educational approaches such as free skools. fourth, it

disrupts the presumed relationship of the author being dominant over the

reader, a binary ‘other,’ and instead allows the reader to intervene in

the text she reads, to be an equal with the writer. fifth, through this

deconstruction of the binary relationships between masculine/feminine,

written/oral, correct/incorrect, writer/reader, etc., non-subjugated

orthographies that refuse the use of capital letters and traditional

grammar make space for the privileging of the collective, and

co-operation in the construction of meaning, decentering the primacy of

the individual writer, the supposed (rich straight white male) sublime

genius who produces texts. this is therefore a radical, feminist, queer

and anarchist strategy that disrupts the way texts are produced, valued,

legitimated and circulated. bell hooks drew attention to these debates,

for example, by changing her name, disavowing her ‘slave name,’ and

writing her name without capital letters.

[2] Queerewind. London: self-published, 2004. http://www.queeruption.

org

[3] O’Connor, Alan. Who’s Emma? Autonomous Zone and Social Anarchism.

Toronto: Confused Editions, 2002.

[4] Easton, Dossie. The Ethical Slut: a Guide to Infinite Sexual

Possibilities. San Francisco: Greenery P, 1997.

[5] Sedgwick, Eve Kosofsky. Epistemology of the Closet. Berkeley: U

California P, 1990.

[6] Toronto Anarchist Free University. http://www.anarchistu.org/

[7] Butler, Judith. Gender Trouble. New York: Routledge, 1990.

[8] Guattari, Felix. Soft Subversions. New York: Semiotext(e), 1996

[9] Debord, Guy. Society of the Spectacle. 1967. Detroit: Black and Red,

1983.

[10] Vade, Dylan. “Expanding Gender and Expanding the Law: Toward a

Social and Legal Conceptualization of Gender that Is More Inclusive of

Transgender People.” Michigan Journal of Gender & Law, V. 11 (2004–2005)

253–316.

[11] Warner, Michael. Publics and Counterpublics. New York: Zone Books,

2002.

[12] Heckert, Jamie. “Sexuality/Identity/Politics.” In Changing

Anarchism. Ed. Jonathan Purkis and James Bowen. Manchester: Manchester

UP, 2004.