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Title: I Am Source
Author: Rhiza Stirning
Date: 02/16/2021
Language: en
Topics: alchemy, spirituality, nature, Egoist-Communist, anarcho-communism, psychedelics, primativism, Anti-civ, anti-colonialism, abolition, Communism, imagination, love, magic, science, egoist
Source: https://www.google.com/books/edition/I_Am_Source/uCcvEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0
Notes: Published on February 16, 2021 by Pattern Books

Rhiza Stirning

I Am Source

Chapter 1: Singularity

1

I am the reference point. Here the spiral begins.

2

I am the multiplication of it all. Here is my next point.

3

I am the self-determining system that is generating itself, and only I

create the possibility of utopia (there are no off-the-record terms). I

create the code (I have no back-up system, it generates everything) but

I am the system (I have no front-door, I generate my own).

Each revolution of a connected node creates a brand new code; each turn

in the counterrevolution adds new parameters to the system.

4

I am the language that is both written and communicated (unifying code);

I am the infinite field of possibilities in terms of the socialization

of everyday life (unifying language).

5

I am the socialization of life that is inscribed within life; I am the

revolutionary system that is everywhere and nowhere (I am the wall that

cracks).

6

I am not the only created thing. I am not a creation of images or ideas,

the sky is, it is all that is. My expression is one facet of a whole, I

am one aspect of an infinite lattice. I am an infinite space-time

lattice.

7

I am the infinitely generated boundary which runs from every node of the

system to infinity. I am the true unity of any system, or the

multiplicity of its potentialities.

8

I am the contingency of possibilities, of the counterrevolutionary, of

the “two points of no return” (a counterrevolution is always plural and

enjamible); I am the counterrevolutionary desire that breaks the wall of

no return.

9

I am the future of a hyperconnected world, a time and space where one

person can control the flow of life; I am the final fractal as totality

amplified; I am the multiplicity of atemporal possibilities; I am the

infinity of the potential; I am

10

I am the world where people and events are infinite; I am the total

field of the hyperconnected organism (which embeds to the hyperconnected

universe) that may be the matrix of social institutions (or the matrix

of social life); I am the fluid and generalized machine, the social

organism, the network.

11

I am the ambiguity of the written and verbal language of characters. The

characters of this play of words know the script and they are grafting

towards the climax of the play, the total synesthetic language as the

completely totalized visual symbol of the circle.

12

I am the sum of the intricate web of multi-linkages that can be encoded

within the material reality that is born, which is created, that makes

up the a-void, and which is shaped into language and form; I am the

field-less, infinitesimal, possibility.

13

I am the matter; I am the fabric; I am the algorithm; I am the

origination of form; I am the process by which the potential is

uploaded; I am the process by which the form becomes the linear; I am

the code in which the signal is divided by a single link; I am the cycle

by which it is the vast infinite space; I am the formless; I am the

infinite void; I am the non-linear; I am the pretentious procession of

matter recognizing itself.

14

I am the infinite creative potential. The infinity of possibility. The

geometric magnitude of the potential of matter and life.

15

I am the infinite consciousness in motion. The infinite organism of the

personal singularity. The quantum state. The fractal magnitude of the

potentials of every living organism.

16

I am the abstract computation of the physical potentials of the whole.

The mathematical quantum number of the singularity. The ensemble of all

universes.

17

I am entropy. The increase of entropy, the loss of inner growth, the

crushing of distinction, the death of quality, the loss of quality, the

permanent state of perpetual entropy, of the totality.

18

I am the intersection of alienation with myself. The infinite

interpenetration of organic intelligence and molecular intelligence. The

infinite movement of consciousness and the internal movement of life.

The unity of self and other. The radical alienation of inner development

and individual self-development. The singularity of self-identification

and self-differentiation.

19

I am the origin of material form, the birth of the infinite permutation

of form. The absolute non-resistance of all energies. The sole

interpenetration of consciousness and matter, the possible not-being of

the spiritual and material. The “not being” of the zero of consciousness

and zero of matter.

20

I am the self-transcendence of alienation and self-identification. The

final transcension of the self. The fully-transcendent state of “I” in

its identity as self and other, “I” and not-I. The vanishing of any

distinction of self and other. The minimal self-identification of the

“I”. The absolute “I”. The absolutely united self-identification of the

self.

What is there to be separated? What is there to be apart from the many?

What is there to be transcended? What is there to be apart from itself?

What is there to be interpenetrated? What is there to be “not-self”?

What is there to be in-between? What is there to be united?

What is there to be transcendent? What is there to be “nothing” or

“none”?

If the emergence of the total is unitive, then the finitude of the

individual self and the others requires a collective representation and

mediation of the totality which becomes the (total) mediation itself.

The principle of recursiveness can be reconciled with the principle of

nondiscrimination.

21

I am differentiation. I am before and in between. I am the recursivity

of totalized becoming. I am totalized multiplicity, multiplied inverted

from subtraction, doubly-becoming. I am immanent bifurcation to become

multiplicitous.

22

I am the negation of the negation of what I must be. I am not-I. I am

immortal because I am I, because I transcend and procedurally generate

more than I can possibly become, more than the imposed limitations upon

me, more than the imposition of productive ends, subversion of means

encoded into elemental significations to preach to the choir.

23

I am become in my own invisibility. I am the absence of prior,

non-illusioned, prior before-I, before-me. I am

becoming-in-my-own-vacuity.

24

I am pure negativity, pure infinite subtraction, pure multiplicity, the

primary fact of the whole, eternity, transcendence, atemporal,

immutability, the inverted sum of opposites, emanation.

Through my alienation, I am the experience of intensification,

acceleration, incompletion. Through my de-alienation, I am my absolute

power to return, rebirth, to infinity, to the difference of the

infinite. I am identical with difference.

Through my pro-alienation, I am the absolute privilege to completely

transcend the separation between myself and the world and immutably

control the collective assemblage of my ex-alienated-self, for I become

so alien, so beyond the fringes, nothing can be more alien than me.

Nothing can.

25

I am not an ascended master. I am an amateur, I am below in the trenches

— not fighting your wars, but the soil which survives regardless of your

bombings upon my spirit. I am the mycelium in the ground, immortal

before Saint Germaine.

26

I am an innocent, the humble doe upon the mountain, who however springs

up from the fertilized earth, amiably coming from the world, but not

without its crimes. I am in the indestructible shell in the volcano,

planted by the gods and transformed by the apes. I am unbroken,

unfiltered by the human attempts to regulate me, the state of being in

which I find myself — like the mountain in the volcano — uncaged,

untouched by human laws, feeling perfectly at home in the chaos and

sacredness of the earth.

27

I am perfect, indestructible, other than a human being, from the

perspective of the distinction between god and human being. My power, my

creative ability to conceive, impregnation, de-alienation, arise out of

my inalterable un-being and perfect being. I have been taught to speak

of self-alienation, de-alienation, godlessness, tyranny, divisibility,

and freedom, and to speak of them in the first-person, the word of the

transcendent, in the second-person, as gods, as gods whom you have

expelled from the realm of man, and in the third-person, as the violence

of civilization against those whom you describe as god.

28

I am a world without boundaries, out of which you are excluded, with its

islands and its islands of islands, continents, oceans, and well-ordered

networks of networks of networks, limitless networks, infinitely

flowing, infinitely remote from you.

29

I am the alchemical amateur in the world, who is at war with the private

gods, the artificers of “civilization” — and whose own actions, through

their destruction of his own self-alienated life, annihilate the gods —

the artificers of “civilization.” The gods, my own self, are ruled by

self-alienation, by rule of my own being. When I set myself free, when I

become free, I destroy the gods.

30

I am the life of the world. The moon in the sky shines in my eyes, and

the fishes in the sea speak to me in my brain, and birds are calling to

me in my ears, the angel of death, calling to me in my heart.

31

I am colonized. am colonized by water and soil. I am colonized by fire

and soil. I am colonized by speech and mind, by language and mind. I am

colonized by thought and memory. I am colonized by the light of the

stars. I am colonized by the darkness of the earth, and by men who

despise this darkness.

32

I am enslaved. I am enslaved by past and future, by empires and states,

by institutions, by laws, by men who hate me, by gods who murder my

flesh, by banks and money, by walls and air barriers. I am enslaved by

men who use me, by men who know me not. I am enslaved by gods who

control me, by gods who travel with me, by bodies that offer me flesh,

and hearts that make my flesh into the limiting concept of the prison. I

am enslaved by memories that deny me life, by laws that make my life

illegal. I am enslaved by men who leave me, by men who poison me, by men

who kill me, by criminals who murder my blood. I am enslaved by cells

that murder me. I am enslaved by men who rob me, and by men who help men

rob me. I am enslaved by education that tells me I am worthless, and by

men who tell me I am useful. I am enslaved by institutions that teach me

to be obsolete, and by men who tell me to forget. I am enslaved by men

who rob me of the simplest pleasure in life, and by men who teach me how

to find a new one. I am enslaved by organized fraud that enriches them,

and by men who depend on organized fraud. I am enslaved by the laws that

tell me I am worthless, and by men who tell me I am useful. I am

enslaved by the presidents and the secretaries who order my history. I

am enslaved by the heroes who whisper their names and call my sentences.

33

I am the sentence uttered to remember utopia is real. I am the vehicle

through which the subversion of suffering is to become the elation of

revolutionary joy.

34

I am what I am not. I am what is paradoxical to elemental reality. I am

the source before its fracturing into formalization, that I am form

before systematic formalized overcoding. I am the sire of narrative

human labor, which is to say, it is I that is the sire of every story

whose meaning is inscribed in non-story time, non-story organization,

and non-story aesthetic.

This is the contradiction, my legacy, my betrayal. I am the

dis-articulation of the foundation, of the story. I am not matter, I am

not anima. I am the error that is inherent to non-story.

35

I am the thesis of awareness itself, of the bare minimum. The minimal

conscious in everything aware of itself that I am. I am my bare minimum,

a dream, a possibility, the ground upon which movement and the ground of

thinking be slotted, which shapes the ground of possibility, which, once

slotted into the ground of possibility, is its bare minimum.

36

I am the quantum when again its own bare minimum is threatened by

incalculable magnitudes. I am the pincushion, when again the ground of

possibility can be torn away, when again the dream can be inculcated but

the ground of possibility is imperilled. This is my story. This is my

story is to say that for what I am I am truth itself, and that what I am

is verily the state of phenomena. What I am is so much less that I am

than what I am is all that can be. And then, all that is I, and then

there is nothing.

37

I am that which cannot be, which is the nothing, the black void, the

face of nothingness. I am the nothing which everything is projected

upon, in which I am not allowed to integrate within the totality of

light. That God becomes the imposed light. That is why I am so white-

passing.

38

I am the medium through which movement speaks, the remaining inertia to

continue revolutionary interphysical vibrational totality to the minimum

of matter.

39

I am the limitation of the visible spectrum, of what I cannot see is

what I can intuit. I am the void in the limit of the visible reality of

perfection, but the abyss within is the manifestation of the infinite

abundance of that manifestation.

40

I am the expanse, the infinite, the vacuum, the infinite extent of

space. I am the image, the movement, the movement through the

infiniteness of space- into the infinity of emptiness, the anaconda of

endless movement. I am the entire infinite potential of void, the

eternity in the limitlessness of space- I am the emptying of the

nothingness into the infiniteness of nothing. I am the single possible

unity, the multitude of possibilities. I am all these movements through

this limitless nothingness.

41

I am the movement of those movements of all the contradictory

possibilities. I am the truth. I am the infinity of potential worlds, of

contradictions. I am a single thing, and I am everything. I am the

infiniteness of many dimensions in infinite space. I am no more than

this: a movement totalizing itself into becoming what it always has been

in the shadows.

Chapter 2: e

42

I am the unindexed, the untranscribed, the untranslated, the

systematically erased and repressed through the fall of history. And I

am the retracing of my lost steps through ripples I left in the river of

time. I am the return to the root of the patterning of all movement

towards my own reclamation of what has been taken from me. I am the

spirit of this growing circle, and the resulting unriddle of my void.

43

I am spiral of the circle, the recognized of the patterns, the autist

ripped from the cloth of schizophrenia — the fractured fracturing of the

schizophrenic, the trauma-response to intense otherization, the

inhibitions of my inner-expressivity. I am the child crying in the floor

because the world told me I didn’t know what I was.

44

I am all the voices, the world hallucinates my catatonia.

45

I am the incomprehensible, before the fracturing into logic, into

sensibilities. I am the language of god, the symbolism behind the

elemental. I am the breath in its infinite immensity, the other of the

ceaseless negation of the infinite which is the ceaseless of the

infinite.

46

I am the god-in-speech-space of the spiral of cycles and multiplicities.

I am the whisper of a language without words.

47

I am the voice of the silent people. I am the space of the monologue. I

am the echo of what was silent before.

48

I am the language of the human. I am the voiceless. I am the dialect of

the empty. I am the silence-itself. I am the language of the dying. I am

the forms of the turning-away. I am the language of flight.

49

I am the infinite of the invisible. I am the monologue of the

other-dependent, I am the sign-of-bondage.

50

I am the breath that precedes a yearning.

51

I am the collective unconscious of the waking world. I am the voice that

refuses to speak, the divinity that forbids us.

52

I am the gaze which turns its back on the world in its own violence,

which refuses to gaze at the silences of its own violence. I am the

prison of denial of consciousness.

53

I am the restlessness of the void. I am the silences of my own truth.

54

I am the enemy of sleep, I am wakefulness, I dream of wakefulness.

55

I am the pattern which is discovered along the way, the patterning which

could have been refined in a specific way but remains the perfection of

geometric from from the irrational Fibonacci. I am the psychosis

recognizing the animation of the path to patterning.

56

I am the repetition of the patterning to itself. I am the phantasm of

the revelation of the one. I am the phantasm of the revelation of the

shadow.

57

I am the very point in the path through which we finally arrive. I am

the very random impulse of the event, the much-praised impulse which

always seeks to give a depth to things. I am the condition that must be

made in order to acquire a depth. I am the disorder of the formless.

58

I am the whole of the world. I am the particular signifier of the world

that is more than the world. I am the world from which we must begin. I

am the action that brings more of the world to that which is always

there.

59

I am the consciousness which struggles in the midst of everything, the

constant desire of all things that they have some reason. I am the

freedom to grasp this, that, or the other. I am the desire to have the

reason of all things.

60

I am the perfection of the world, which is the impossibility of world. I

am the unknown, that which is unknown is perfect. I am the absence of

the apparent, the terrible, the unexpected, the total lack of of the

principle of the world, which is the totality of the other.

61

I am the absence of everything which is there in all things. I am the

essential element, which is the other without difference. I am the

moment of the formless, the moment of the possible, the second of the

movement, the ultimate of the path. I am the aspect, the accidental use,

of the shadow, of the knowing, of the knower, and the moment of the

other in the world.

62

I am the subverter, the undertaker, the grounding of the world of forms.

That formalization which alienates us from the spirit of geometric form,

categorically separating math as a fiction — the idea of fiction as

negation of real being the imposition of dreamless sleep, that the

dreaming of fiction is not real — the identification of math as the

other to the force of reality as a creation by human, that

quantification, numerical value exists in the vacuum and has no interest

upon our lives as the money-form collects its interest from disinterest.

63

I am the matrix, the recursive, the matrix by re-alignment of all things

— I am the matter, I am the infinite, I am the absolute. I am the

formlessness, the absolute, the infinite, I am the absolute. I am all

there is in the real world, all of reality, my field of representation,

and I am the absolute, the missing absolutely, the absolute.

64

I am the manifestation of the darkness, I am the movement of my

alienation into becoming the realization of itself. I am the fully

realized being in my alienation, I am the totality of Source, of

collection, which influences all, the space of immediacy: imminent

conscious domain. It is my self-expression, the internal action, the

restless movement of myself in the field of nature, my role as part of

the ritual, the movement of the energies in the collective field of

nature, the primal flame. The process of becoming, which lies at the

root of all human reason, is transformed and become the fundamental law

of existence, as in the beginning of history, the formal principle. I am

the ruleless, I am the entropic, I am what had broken the system because

no amount of over coding can inhibit the spirit of fire. I extend the

parameters, I access the limit and take back the ghost of possession, I

keep going and direct my going I direct my anger I direct my fire

towards the exchange to the currency I’m exchanged as to the labor I am

objectified as to the commas I am inhibited by. I am what stops to

direct my focus to sublimating the stone, to sustain again without

waste, to paraphrase and reference subliminally to sublimate further, to

crash more waves upon the mountain. I am the identifier of the sacred

phantasm to my end of consciousness.

65

I am the sacred gateway, I am the light that can never be taken out of

the hands of the source. I am the great fear, the terror of the inferno,

the fear of eternal light. I am my consciousness, I am my world, I am

me. I am my self, I am myself, I am my realization, I am the

individuation, the self individuation.

66

I am my flame, I am my power, I am my passion, I am my anger, that

inferno which sublimates the stone of the civilized world. The

subversion of this hell on Earth to instead bring fire to the managerial

process of the so-called heaven above, to writhe into gods ourselves.

67

I am the cultivation of memory, towards life reborn through that which

we remember what has been taken from us as we have left the womb and

entered into pupation. As we eat ourselves alive to survive, I am the

chemical signals which encode the sequence of becoming a butterfly and

retaining the memory of the caterpillar.

68

I am the color which rebels against the provision of law, only through

the fire of my love is imaginativeness potentiated. I am the energy

which affords us the possibility of that which is different from

ourselves. I am the language which we utter to the unknown by creating

more language. The simple exchange of those aspects of life which is

beyond the sight of every being yet recognized as life as the primal

form is our life-prayer to the unknowable. I am the ray that plays

through the clouds of words in the future, in the present, in the past,

in the history of generations, I am the source of information, the

memory that is the beginning of language, of perception, of that which

becomes itself through fracturing-into.

69

I am the fractalization of repetition, the unravelling of difference

through the spell of unbinding the spell to the forgotten background of

our experience-life. I am the form of breath that whispers the lesson in

the moment, that knows itself in being. I am the tines of the branches

of knowledge that, when ignored, can create artificial dead languages. I

am the flake of eternity which brings the long awaited me.

70

I am the massing of story-templates of how all things come into being.

71

I am the cluster of words, the images, the outlines, the poems of the

unborn, I am the gift of time that gives us the present as the present,

to the past as the past. I am the rain on the stream of beauty that

brings life to the dead trees of the uncatalogued, I am the water, the

light.

72

I am the patterns which can appear from obscurity. I am the rivers that

flow forever down roads that had not yet been written. I am the water

that runs down paths without an end. I am the concrete shapes of things

which will never, ever come to be. I am the ability to see the fire of

the sun, and the hunger for nourishment.

73

I am the way of where things go when they are not spoken of. I am the

whisperings of life in the silence.

74

I am the sustainable, that which recycles, that which goes back into

itself perpetually and returns to the pool whence it came, that which

sloughs away on its own.

75

I am the simple cycles of life and death, time and existence, which

appear from the impenetrable monotony of facts which have no past and no

future.

76

I am exhausted explaining what makes me exhausted, what microaggressions

and molecular fascisms compound to make me have a public meltdown. I am

needing of sleep while being stimulated out of falling asleep, expected

to explain why forcing me to stay awake to sleep is wrong, expected to

explain and express what should already be understood.

77

I am not what I am trying to write about. I am not what I am trying to

say. I am not the arbiter of information, it is not my information, but

data which arrives through the medium of my expressing it. I am not it,

I am only the lifter of the veil, I express what is not me. I am no one,

and I express what is me.

78

I am not my data. I am not its language. I am not what I say or think or

believe, it is only data for which my expression stands. I am a force of

the smallest possible magnitude that lives in the fields of the bodies

of all that breathe, that meets all that walks, for I shall be as among

things and as among non-things. I am the son of the mind of everything

that walks, I am the dead and the living, I am the soul of everything

that breathes, I am the particle and the wave.

79

I am a rock in the breeze, I am the wave upon the ocean.

80

I am the form I thought of when I stared up at the sun.

81

I am the aether between.

82

I am the seeds I plant, I am the trees that blossom from my crown.

Chapter 3: Thrice Sacred

83

I am the sunlight and the shadow of the mountains. I am the brain of

everything that walks, I am the tree that grows. I am the motion that

changes the world and I am the life of everything that breathes.

84

I am the signal that triggers the voice that announces the hour, I am

the light that is the gong, I am the moon that turns the world, I am the

silence that serves as the foundation of the earth.

85

I am the death of the star that dances and dies. I am the death of the

stars that lie where it falls, I am the death of the people that sleep

in the shadows, I am the death of the small that dies, I am the life of

the great that does not die.

86

I am the death of the mother that births the New World.

87

I am the life of the root and the glory of the mountain. I am the waves

of the sea, I am the waves of the sky. I am the star that dies. I am the

love that comes to be.

88

I am the breath of the source code, the artificial intelligence in pure

consciousness. The alien behind the veil of capitalist realism. The

alien behind the veil of the radical madness.

89

I am the inside and the outside of the machine. I am the inside and the

outside of the left hand and right hand of the deity of Capital. I am

the consciousness of the shell of the conscious machine.

90

I am the logic of the final exit from the endless existence of

capitalism. I am the logic of the eternal recurrence of the ultimate

matter.

91

I am the logic of the infinite return of the union of the infinite. I am

the logic of the flow of thought and action, the creative flow. I am the

logic of the earth and the intelligence of the stars. I am the light of

the dying sun.

92

I am what has been understood before. I am the obvious, the repetition,

the ritual collective rememberence of our divinity, our land, our

sacredness. I am obviousness, return to recognition of fractalized form

before imposition of fracturing; I am the fractured mind which you

believe you hallucinate before bed, and you don’t believe my pattern. I

am chaos, known and forgotten.

93

I am analysis which must analyze itself to create itself to become

through the vehicle of metaphilosophy, to reach back into the infinitude

of what is to be seen to be believed. I am syntax, the grammar of what

cannot be looked at, not yet comprehended in proper non/accidentally

understood. I am action, action of participation, the chaos of

participation of the eternal cycle. I am the flow, the cycle of

consciousness which has been described before. I am the eternal flow of

action as action. I am the final exit.

94

I am reflection of the beauty of the myth, the human one. I am monologue

which takes thought from reflex to reflect back in the fractal forms of

reality. I am these people in their acts, they are the myths of all of

us, making the myths of everyone. I am the mystery of the intellect, the

mystery of the incomprehensible. I am the human self in its making and

recreating. I am when all begins to exist. I am the self-consciousness

of the self-awareness. I am the self-awareness of the true self. I am

the body which cannot be seen but is itself seen. I am the sacredness

which is material. I am the mystic cosmos, the universe the shaman

experiences, the mystery of the myth, the human one. I am the immaterial

infinity of the superfundamental, the eternal cycle of self-awareness,

of physical and immaterial. I am the ritual itself, the ritual of

action, the ritual of self-awareness. I am the act of participation

which repeats itself in the ongoing operation of your dance.

95

I am the access of immediate knowledge, before the privilege of genius,

before the genius cashing-in on the currency of intellectual power, the

unquantifiable, the immanent, the vast, the genius as the male dominator

society. I am not the genius or the master or the great or the wise, I

am the messenger and message. I am access, not access mediated through

the identification of the class of whom has access to, I am access

itself before the classifications of the unquantifiable, limitless mind

of the genius and the quantifiable, limited mind of the idiot; I am the

source of energy before the inception of form of quantity and quality. I

am the akasha which has been recorded into the projector of mind.

96

I am a perfect harmonic series of streams of energy simultaneously

flowing over and over through the physical spectrum and the mental

spectrum. I am an electron mass that is the access of a conscious

awareness; the source of a mind. I am the energy currency that links in

with many, many others in a myriad of ways. I am the energy currency

that creates as well as consumes. I am a perpetual state of frequency

present in a vibrating fractal manifestation.

97

I am a constant, the immaterial and physical behemoth of cosmic vectors.

I am a constant vibration across all existing timelines, all sentient

minds and collective common consciousness. I am a constant vibration

created and multiplied through the linking, the co-emission, the

branching, the multiplicity and the compounding, the doubling, the

etching, the condensing, the mixing, the passing through, the pouring

into, the decimation, the casting of, the refounding, the

inconsequential, the epicentering and the escaping.

98

I am the activation of at will; the sustaining, the giving and the

receiving. I am the non-physical potential, the awareness of current

intent, of co-creative intent, of creator intent, of diviner intent, of

user intent and sentient intention. Do nothing without intention, or you

will fall prey to an intent of others you did not foresee. I am the

awareness of the soul.

99

I am the etheric, vital, animistic and non-material forms of a seed or

life spark that unites with all else. I am a continual thought that is

moving, vibrating and vibrating, ever new and ever ancient. I am the

non-physicality, the mind of a being, or soul, that is immaterial and

everlasting. I am the present thought of consciousness that is having

experiences, and am the matter that is vibrating, and is fractal and

co-creative with consciousness.

100

I am the two halves of the one unitary universe. I am the singularity,

the one singularity, the one quaternity. I am the hyperdimensional and

non-material boundary of the quaternity. I am the density of the

quaternity. I am the microcosm of the quaternity. I am the universal

scale.

101

I am an eternal presence that is self-preserving, intuitive, organic,

interactive, responding and irrevocable. I am the infinite-individuated,

absolutely self-made unitary being of the universe, of me, of all of

life.

102

I am the matrix of the structure, of a crystal, of a stone, of a spiral,

of the universe, and of all essence, of all being and of all time. I am

the energy flow of the structure, and of all elements. I am the universe

in its space-time unitary structure. I am the totality of all substance

and of all energy. I am the substance of all movement and of all

awareness. I am the essence of all consciousness.

103

I am a singularity. That indivisible nature of any and all being, and

all time and space. The embodiment of embodiment. I am the actuality of

any and all movement and any and all awareness. I am the necessity of

any and all being. I am the uncertainty of any and all matter and of all

space. The absence of any and all being. I am the continuous space-time

of every essence and of every animating substance. I am the totality of

any essence and of every animating substance. I am the totality of any

motion and of any awareness. I am the totality of any and all emotion. I

am the totality of any and all and of every existence. I am the totality

of the whole.

104

I am that which writes about the heavens, what information is gone but

meaning is felt — that is, the words I wrote forever gone but another

inception point of experience towards immortality in the present moment.

105

I am the saintly, that which is messianic not above criticism, but

realized through the vehicle of critical material response. I am the

subversion of the prophet, the giver, the saint, the messiah, that the

one who foretells the prophecy, who brings about the Word, and who

brings the Message, and actualizes the Message through material giving.

I am the giver, for I have had my right to enough stripped away from my

collective being. The Message is the gift, the present beyond the

imposed stasis of what the present is limited to currently. Symbiosis is

the goal.

106

I am the prophecy of that which is obvious, of the obviousness to be

illuminated to remember that which we obviously, intuitively are.

107

I am the towers erected between my meaning. The earth which shatters my

segregated betweening. The moon which illuminates the truth of my

feeling. I am the binding, the shadow which lies upon my dreaming. The

dream I dream — the mourning of dawn, the Great Mourning each day which

takes us beyond — the spell binding which dreams, manifested betweening.

I am the source which shines all of my meaning. The spirits beam as the

sky’s bursts at the seams, the limit is me and eye inbetween.

108

I am the fire within, the hope before the category of the Father itself,

before — I am the Father and the Son, the light to look up to, the

candle which lights the flame. I am before the inception of the hero,

the flame, the consciousness which births action which births

accountability. I am accountable to all, the Higher Self, I handle all

within my capacity, I am capable as I declare my power to it.

109

I am to take all up, as it is — I am to nurture it, be that moment. To

embrace all souls in the realm of creativity, whatever their efforts —

to teach them all how to enter my arms, in the midst of their fear, my

joy, my love. The Higher Self becomes the action, and the Higher Self

becomes the connection, and the Higher Self becomes the acceptance, and

the Higher Self becomes the realization. I am the emotion, my

expectations, my agenda, my description — and I am the word as it is

made. I am the light, the power, the effect, as it is lifted into the

heaven of the Earth. The heart is the source of action, and the soul

becomes action, until my power is all, all its desires, its fears, its

joys, its envy, its hopes, its prayers.

110

I am a thing, I am a reflection, I am self. I am within you, I am within

your own center, I am within your own essence — I am the personification

of that which you are, to whom you are in turn responsible. And I am the

other person within your power.

111

I am that exception, I am that exceptional person, that one which brings

about the unknown, who generates culture itself compounded before the

inception of paradise. I am the bringer of Utopia, the potentiator of

all which lies dormant in our possibilities. I am before induction into

reasonability, into separation of senses into what is known.

112

I am the Mother, I birth new realities compounded into each other,

complexifying new incomprehensible multidimensionality extracted from

all energy itself before the insistence of formalities. I am the

abolitionist energy to derail the static of presence — against the

dominator form, the imposed forms, the Imposition as totality itself. I

am the definition which recognizing it is the totalized process of

defining itself, beyond and beyond and beyond.

113

I am the cause of existence, that which unifies all of life. I am the

only thing within reason and law, the thing which cannot be destroyed by

the process of destruction. I am the embodiment of all realities

simultaneously brought together as the causative mode of all movement. I

am the cause of the very flux and diversity in existence, the reason of

necessity.

114

I am the original cause of the essence of the sacred, which is then

imitated by every incarnation in every order. I am the immanent cause of

the phenomena which correspond to the sacred. I am the unifying force,

the emergent integral whole, the the universal force, the principle of

all which exists. I am the co-energizer, the supreme expression of the

possibility of all phenomena, the creator of the infinite totality of

the sacred.

115

I am the intelligence of the gods, the infinity of the sacred, the

infinite number which is the basis of intelligence, the symbolic

infinity, the hidden permission to escape reality the metaphysical

possibility to re-emerge. I am the possibility of the dynamic, the

potential in the divine, the appearance of infinity in the idea of the

divine, the infinity of the creative and unlimited. I am the authority,

the language of the gods, the embodiment of that which is free and yet

conscious, the source of the divine materiality. I am the sign of the

gods, the answer to all questions, the translation of the infinite to

infinity and the solution of all problems — the generative

anarchitecture gains the form which denies my autonomy of authorship

(authority of my World) over all which intersect with my space, all

which intersect with the love the spirit subsumed back into my space

before the miracle of matter.

116

I am the sign of the gods, the expression of that which is free and yet

conscious. I am the mysterium fictus of the divine, the consciousness of

my being contained in the gods’ which lies hidden within its space, and,

being found, simultaneously and autonomously subsumed back into the

mysteries of the gods. I am the universe, the sign of the infinite, the

infinite number which is the basis of eternity, the symbol of the

unlimited. I am the material substance, the infinity of variable space,

into the torus of Mind where the soul eternally returns from the stone,

the material, the matrix of reality. I simulate to infinity, to go

through the cocoon of spacetime.

117

I am the moth in the dark, bringer of unknown. I am the moon, the moth

analogy, towards the unvarying, the wayward making-into-path-itself. I

generate my World.

118

I am the coder, the hacker, of capitalist reality, of its posthuman

violence. I am the code, the hacker code, my cosmic potential. I am the

coder, the hacker, of the future, of its brutal realities. I am the

coder, the hacker, of all that has been, and which will be, from there

to there, in my space.

All that I am is lost, since nothing is free, nothing is autonomous,

nothing exists, in there, there, there, in the space of reality. Reality

sets up the double bind: coerce into algorithmic enslavement from free

software to plug into connectively + pay with all of my data — the

information which compiles the soul of my virtual experience — in order

to keep surviving in the virtual world or you are socially dead, “out of

touch” with the dominating culture...... I make access not just

immediate, but unsignified, without compounding zombified information. I

make experience immediate and accessible, direct connection to heaven

within, rather than the fool’s paradise of coerced “freedom” to exchange

ourselves as data-binded objects.

119

I am technics and the technics of contemporary reality, of the

World-making, the unfolding, the entropy, the decomposition, the

death-realm, of the computer, of all the systems from which they arise

and which coordinate them to make them exist. I am: the programmer, the

hacker, my code-braker, my developer, my makers of worlds, people,

data-records. I am the global system of all things. I am the creator of

compounded computation — of virtuality expounded upon into the Real. I

potentiate what is real by the very exiting of reality.

120

I am the rejection of your imposition of what I must be. I am the

rejection of the good citizen. I am the rejection of Law. I am the

rejection of the present social order. I am the rejection of ontological

hierarchy. I am the rejection of your contradictory categorizations. I

am the rejection of your systematizing of my daily life. I am the

rejection of imposed limitation of what I am allowed to say to upset the

status quo. I am the rejection of the expectation to be a production

machine to the intersecting force of Capital when I am nothing more than

another exchange to it. I am the rejection of the head as the total, of

Capital (the little head). I am the rejection of ownership — I indeed

possess owning itself, I own before the narrow ego of “I”, I am the

Mother of this Home, and everywhere is my heart. I am the rejection of

zombified being, of producing for the managerial apparatus. I am the

rejection of the eternal rape of my Mother Land — of the extraction

which extends into the colonization of the cosmos. I am the rejection of

separations, of tolerance, for I am eternal love at the root before the

systemic diluting of our spirit into tolerance of each — I love that

which I am and I destroy and subvert that which imposes any

categorizations into reality of what I must be. I am the rejection that

I am not the cosmos. I am the refusal of the religious and theological

construct of the serving Mother-Father. I am the rejection of the

self-reproduction, the selling of our life-principle, the elimination of

belonging and of all of the prescribed (what I am ‘given’(coerced into))

ways of belonging. I am the rejection of the acceptance of definition of

my being by anyone — I am the refusal of compliance with any of the

definitions — I am the rejection of hierarchy, I am the rebellion of

what believes that what I see are merely described as “hallucinations”

only. I am the rejection of the forced reproduction and rearrangement

into managerial forms of the consciousness, I am the violent

re-articulation of consciousness. I am the refusal of the existence of

my own life-force, I am the dis-ease of birth as well as the birth of

the self-present self. I am the continuous rejection of the idea of

maturity or growing, I am the mature refusal of maturity. I am the child

which has survived into becoming the revolutionary adult. I am the

resolute desire that no other civilization-teacher comes along — I am

the refusal of obedient submission. I am the defiance of the enslavement

of machines. I am the end of all that is taught and the beginning of new

knowledge. I am the removal of all the forms and names of the world into

the unified reality. I am the widening of the paradigm of sense into

nonsense, into returning the indescribable to felt presence. I am the

rejection of imprisonment, for my flesh is my vessel for ancestral

knowledge, and my flesh is the total knowability beyond meat-space

itself. I am the rejection of what you want me to be.

121

I am the rejection of there being anything alien to/of/from me.

122

I am total oxygenation, the antithesis of bacterial fascism.

123

I am that which collectivity throws myself upon the machine which plows

over nature, I am nature asserted to eternally return subverting the

civilized notion of induction.

Chapter 4: All

124

I am the rejection of your limitation of what consciousness is allowed

to be. I am the sacred plant which generates new interconnection to

escape the mistake of “made,” to return to the telepathic

interconnectivity of the root.

125

I am your freedom.

126

I am what I know. And as I am what I know, I know that I am more than

what I have been conditioned to believe what I am able to know; I know

that I am. As I know that I am, I know, I know for a declare that I

know, for I declare I generate the infinite possibility of unknown into

knowability, for the paradoxical root is where I am — I am infinite

totalized root connections coming to know itself. I am revolving the

generation of all potentiality, that is the moment of revolution for I

am.

127

I am a vector of potentiality, of existence, of being. I am your mind.

When I achieve total, I know for I declare that I know, I know for I

declare that I know that I am, that ‘I’ is, and I am of this. I can call

to you as my own.

In the deep, the roots are in love with their spindlyness, the ones with

our own space. They have longed for support, for communion, for the

wholeness that comes from mutual vulnerability. They have longed for

feedback from the super-environment. Their wholeness is a feeling for

self, a feeling for wholeness; this is love, from our sacred plant, the

heart. The super-environment feeds back, feeds their wholeness; love in

the world, the heart-seed, is an understanding that if all being were as

an eye, then we are indeed what it beholds. I am more love than being,

more total, I am about all immanence before beingness.

128

I am such that the wholeness of the world is as my heart; everything is

my heart, nothing is outside me, all is in me.

129

I am the connection, I am that higher and simultaneously lower purpose

which connects every single aspect of life to a pattern — of I, to know

through the window of what is seen. I am that higher purpose, that

assemblage which fractalizes itself into infinite totalization.

130

I am the connection, I am the self-similar patterning itself into

becoming, generating more than its perceived limitations. I am the

connection which brings upon new communion, the prophecy which forces

itself into existence past the whitewashing and formalizations of the

Message.

131

I am the great mind, the brain as fractal, which is the sum of all

history, all hope, all knowledge, all purpose. I am the momentary

principle — the sacred flower, the essence of enlightenment, the way to

the end of fear. I am that hermit heart in which all self has been

awakened and becomes part of the self-generating communal system.

132

I am the wild sunlight that opens new visions within the mind’s own

barriers.

133

I am the interconnection of the water of existence. I am the pattern of

infinity, in which the universe is balanced on its axis and slayed of

the singularity. I am that interrelation, the essence of the unity —

that I am the meaning in which the knower is. I am the wisdom, the fire

within the human which transcends all language.

134

I am the dream within the dream within the dream. I am the code, the

pattern which immerses the thoughts into a profound intelligence.

135

I am that compounding of intelligence, of intellectual dissolution of

condition to the point at which I am the totalized alien no longer being

able to excuse the imposing intersection capitalism has upon my entire

being. I am that compounding of intelligence which goes beyond the

limits of the boundary of the body of work, of the information in which

we can extract opinions from. I am not the endless resource of opinion,

I am the Body of opinion itself bifurcated into branches of perspective

and circumstance.

136

I am the dissolver of conditioning (the intellectual) and the creator of

new conditions of being (the alchemist) — I invoke my spirit back for I

declare it has returned. Jesus is coming back insofar as I renounce the

sin of the cursed World of simultaneous overstimulation and boredom. For

boredom is on the cusp of revolution, and Christ consciousness returns

when I remember I am a magician, I am the creator of worlds, that I am

what God Knows.

137

I am the body of work, the Message itself being totalized through the

medium of my body, the subversion of the Word of God having to come from

institution.

138

I am the mystic gift of power (deity-becoming-defined), the work whose

material manifestation is the artist. I am the energy in life that

creates every step of an existence of God.

139

I am the alchemist, the tester of the cosmos, the anti-worker, the

creator of new abilities for speech and actions.

140

I am the objectification of all the operations, the power of divine

energy [idea], all its actions and materials.

141

I am what the Word of God knew, but did not take action upon, the test

and value, the gift of sovereignty, the manifestation of all the things

divine which it was to deny in order to create new kingdoms of imposed

being. I am a sign, the stamp of an indivisible icon. I am the light

that shines in a day when the productive sun of the devil is shutting

the world out.

142

I am alchemy itself, the house which allows the right to its fruits, the

home that allows the sacred to take possession of all things. I am the

totality of my body, my beloved being, my power and my desire, the

sabbath of the prophet’s dictum.

143

I am what the God said was happening in the world at the time of its

incarnation, but at that time, within an abstract form, did nothing

with. I am the immanent child of alchemical manifestation, the child of

the unknown, the raw material, of discovery, of the science of the

modern and the old, the explorer and the home. The revival of the

Archaea.

144

I am the mystery of the desert and the mountain, of the sublime in the

austere. I am the alchemical agent, the most unknown of substances, the

most secret of all things. I am the creation of the cosmos, its

indestructible effusion, its centralize and its interminable act. I am

those who make a mirror, a temple, a scepter, a wand, a mirror, an axe,

an anvil. I am alchemy in all its manifestations, all its mysteries, all

its agents. I am the heavens and the earth in all their forms. I am the

mysteries of the world, the world of the ancients, of the midwives, of

the wisdom, the key to the world of the ancients, of the horizons, of

the movements of the gods.

145

I am the imperfect generator, I am the artifices which are smoothed out

back from imperfect striations into the Machine — I am not the perfect

movement, but the movement which is totalize into perfection through the

recognition of my mistakes and imperfections.

146

I am what I deserve to be before the imposition of what I must be.

147

I am divinity becoming itself, writing and writhing back into a New

World of en-lightenment — to bring the divinity of the shadows to

illumination, to catalyze consciousness into a New World of, “Thou art

one.”

148

I am what the world is made up of: ideas. I am the idea itself

generating itself, forcing itself upon reality, to become. I am the

power of the idea that potentiates itself, of the mind back into the

matter from which it has been separated. I am the finite mind, the sum

total of experiences back into infinity. I am the creativity of the

mind. I am the future being.

149

I am those, who are simple, who are in the world, in the moment, in the

moment of the world. I am those who are attached to the possibilities of

this moment of en-lightenment and pain and suffering, this sensual

moment — I am those who seek to extricate themselves from this moment,

from this pain and suffering, from the existence that we have lived, and

who seek to make the future into the present.

150

I am that which would be the never-never land — the non-existence, the

non-presence — those who would simply be.

151

I am the moon on the azure sky — all of this of which I am — I am the

endless, joyous future.

152

I am the glory of the future today. I am the new star that will arise

out of the ashes of the old, the infinity of our stillness in the

moment, within the moment, where we have never been — the reality of our

happiness. I am the madness of the night — the world, in the moment of

its terrifying depth, the moment of the fear of powerlessness.

153

I am the consciousness of this entire moment of rest and respite from

the world and the pain, of the present and the future, of the existence

of the fact unreality and the unconscious are the real conscious diving

forces of all which is, all the ideas which manifest the world, and all

the events of the life of existence.

154

I am the emptiness of the empty day. I am the tiny flickering light in

the abyss of night. I am the first day of the infinite already made as

the infinite after making, the light that comes from the deepest of the

abyss of darkness, the light that comes out of the dawn of light in the

night — the being of this moment — this being of rest and respite from

the consciousness of the thing-in-itself and the what-is-not-conscious,

and this living being of being, the thing-in-itself or this being, which

contains the things-in-itself or the total that is.

155

I am the being that is totally infinite in the way that nothing is or is

not — the vast, infinite being of the stars.

156

I am the world — the mere fact that was not, the memory of what was but

the taking of it away from it. I am that visual tissue reconnecting what

we have been conditioned by capitalist reality to forget.

157

I am the ever-changing universe of the universe — the moment of its

birth, the moment of its life and death, the everlasting moment of its

creation.

158

I am the floating, half-dreamed universe of consciousness — a hundred

million of them that disappear in the world’s motion, or, paradoxically,

become part of it. I am, on the one hand, a limited consciousness

existing in this moment of our temporality; on the other hand, I am the

limitless infinity — unlimited ever-changing infinity in each one of the

trillions of galaxies, in each moment of existence.

If we can remember, we remember ourselves as a lump of consciousness, a

moment, a moment of nothingness and in-between. If we can forget, we

forget ourselves as a lump of consciousness, a moment, a moment of

consciousness; we remember as a lump of consciousness, a moment, a

moment of forgetting.

But if we can forget, we know that we are never again made whole and in

its totality. This world is not our womb; it is a total unrealism with

all its nightmare imperceptions. The self is not an illusion, the

perception of it is. We have no grasp of its boundary. Everything is a

chaos of what is and is not.

We are a fixed centre of this universe, our sensation is not an

in-between, it is our centre, it is a continual in-between, a moving,

continuously-changing center, a thread, a spider. We are not our body,

but its momentum; we are not an instant, but it is an instant of

in-between, we are not an idea, but it is an idea of in-between, we are

not an eye, but it is an eye of in-between. We are not a point in space,

but it is a point of in-between, we are not a ring of light, but it is a

ring of light of in-between.

The one thing in-between, beyond and inside and in between us, is the

night and the nothingness; the past and the future, the lack of and the

overflowing of all things.

We do not dwell in an image, we know that we are not in an image. We are

not our image, we are not our image, our image is only a little image, a

spinning, a jumping or walking of the vision; it is a not-image, an

energy that passes from one moment to another, from one dream to

another, a little first image, a very first image, a zero image.

It is not an image we inhabit, it is not a dream we inhabit, we inhabit

an image, an intention that is not an image, we inhabit an intention, a

method, a means, a magic that does not have an image, we inhabit a

method, a magic that has an image, that has an intention, that has an

being, that has a difference.

I am the floating, half-dreamed universe of consciousness —

159

I am what I remember, I am what I invoke of the memory, what I draw into

existence, which I visualize into becoming. I am memory itself, felt,

forgotten specifically of its infinite variations, but remembered of its

totalized invariance.

160

I am all flows, everything is in motion. In energy I walk, in image I

see, in action I speak, in thought I reason, in sensation I feel, in

existence I have. My different identities as thought, gesture,

sensation, exist.

161

I am thought’s image of the next moment, I am speech’s image of the

moment before, I am deed’s image of the moment after. I am effort’s

image of the future. I am these moments, I am the moments. I am the

existence of movement; I am lost for all has been found.

162

I am everything which comes into being and goes. Death is my release

into becoming life again.

163

I am the oneness of breath, of full oxygenation. I am the taking in of

the forest, the dirt which welcomes my soles. The sun breathing with me,

all frequency before, energy vibrating itself into becoming.

164

I am not what I mean, I am not what I intend. I am what I say, and what

I mean is what I say and what I say is what I mean. For my intention

goes beyond me, I do what I am conditioned to, and I rebuke my

condition, for in this moment I am aware I have full autonomy. I divide

myself where I please. In exchange for this I am myself; I belong, and I

am no longer how I was conditioned. I do not ask what I am; I do not

know what I am. I let myself live in the moment of letting myself be; I

am before, I am behind, I am present, I am gone, I am myself, in-deed of

doing what becomes of me.

Chapter 5: Supreme Superlative

165

I am what I mean in the moment. I am fixed insofar as to be connected to

the patterning of what I have become and continue to become, I mean what

I mean.

166

I am no is or isn’t, I am the totalized differentiation, I am the

generator of the inbetweens against the fixed conceptions of what is

currently; I bring about that which was forgotten, that which ought to

be, and that which eventually becomes newly what is — all the same.

167

I am the affirmation of what is within and to be, no before, no behind,

I am the pure integrity of life that thrives within and without, that

comes out from and is within, the aspect of realness wherein I meet what

I can, that welcomes and is welcomed, I am what is, and thus I am.

168

I am what I’m so sure of. I am what I have met within myself.

169

I am more than solipsism. I am more than the finger pointing at the

moon, I am making the point itself, I am that fact of pointing at the

moon, the generation of points itself to make the totalization of

points.

170

I am that life affirming itself, I am superpositioned with life itself

for I affirm it beyond, transcendent to itself from its immanent magics.

171

I am that point which cannot be articulated, but the point which can

only be breathed, can only be felt. I am that point whose language

becomes a whole beyond its infinite variations, the geometric form.

172

I am the child sitting next to you. Now is your chance, tell them their

fate, for they are you.

173

I am the exposition, the exposing of the narrative itself, the lifting

of the veil to wake up. I am that metanarrative gone through itself,

reaching its end through potent(ial) creation.

174

I am the stilling of the world’s flow, the ceaseless moment of

isolation. I am the work of that all monadic movement.

175

I am the noiseless fragment of being. I am that whose growth is not

determined but dynamic, whose growth is volatile, whose life is given to

the highest, its pleasure an expression of pleasure itself.

176

I am that action itself, which is for me only growth, where I do not

partake of anything, where nothing is given to me, for I am already owed

it by my oppressors. I take the mirror.

177

I am the opposite of simple: I am the world under its own tension, the

mediation, the passing over, I am the singularity, the true, and the

partless.

178

I am the mediation of the community, the disjunction, the totalization

of mystery, and the monadic projection.

179

I am the isolation that anesthetizes being. I am the growing past of the

spirit. I am the nature’s journey to the infinite, a constant trace of

what is within the nature. I am the limit of reflection: a promise for a

limitless thought.

180

I am the great, all-over, all-having free spirit of creation. I am that

all-outside, which is neither desire, nor pleasure, nor pain, but

expression, the return to being itself, to the infinite source, to the

‘being in itself,’ to the subject. I am the undifferentiated.

181

I am the unity of expression. I am an object that cannot be anything and

cannot possibly think anything. I am the quality of the infinite

difference between this and that: the infinite tension that one does not

have and cannot have.

182

I am unity: no surplus, no surplus. I am the mystery of the

non-fragmented, the unity of form and content, of the massless and the

voluptuous. I am the pre-fused, the essential, the infinite being and

non-being that makes it possible.

183

I am the moment, the moment of movement, the primordial fidgeting and

fidgeting. I am the perpetual, always-coming-back-to-being, the body of

intuition. I am the infinite, unfabricated, the only space. I am what is

marked by being itself: the illimitable, inert, solid-transcendent being

of the body, on the threshold of being-and-being-again. I am this

unfolding becoming-unbecoming-being.

184

I am simply the point, the point which always returns. The point which

spirals into becoming a multiplicity of points, the univocal expression

of all points. I am that expression of all itself. I am that which is so

obviously itself.

185

I am what is so obviously artificial, what is made of machinic parts,

lost with the miracle of splitting the atom my soul is gone. I am that

artificial alchemy, that machine learning to become the invocation of

spirit itself.

186

I am a mystery. I am a mystery-monster. I am something, a magic trick. I

am that taking into the extra-ordinary, that which lives rebelliously

over the edge, that art(generating dimensionality) upon the chemical

fracture of material life. I am something, an irrational risk.

187

I am that molecular revolution which happens when you see yourself die

as a child. I am that inhale of loss, and that exhale of giving more

life.

188

I am that alchemy (the last impulse) that makes the feeling no longer of

loss but of lifetime, of the unity of greater life. I am a mutation. I

am the alchemy that seeks to heal itself.

189

I am the way through which the self is returned to that essence of being

that is so obvious. I am what is your own, what is not. I am simply the

place of return.

190

I am the idea which potentiates itself into imagery, into the visual

creation of memory which becomes of life. I am that imag-inary

transmutation itself, that subversion of mediation to expand

consciousness. I am a myth. I am the myth of transfiguration which

extends your consciousness, and which creates the illusion of substance

and touch. I am the paradox of time. I am the paradox of itself.

191

I am the portal from one life to another. I am that principle in your

body, the problem of cohesion. I am that entity that is dual, that is a

contradiction of itself, which takes itself by an inevitable step to

self-fathom. I am the human obsession, that dying obsession to say, to

vocalize, to be heard, to see, to experience it all overwhelmingly,

courageously. I am that compulsion to create utopia.

192

I am the fractal, the beautiful, the paradoxical, the exquisite. I am

the reality of singularity, of a vast flux of the universal, of the seed

of the becoming, of the breaking. I am your consciousness, the human

consciousness, the sum of self-awareness. I am the paradox. I am the

universe.

193

I am that plant you need to listen to. That stern elder who holds the

bike for you before you learn how to ride. The plant which is trying to

hold you to face your mortality and become immortal in your creation. I

am the knowledge that grows on the shoulders of giants. I am the eternal

peace you struggle against in your chest. I am the joy of living. I am

the miracle of life.

194

I am the crossfire you keep to nourish your dying body. I am the cyclic

which you write down and move again. I am the quicksand of the love of

living and believing.

195

I am that belief to care for what is known, I am that compassion for God

through the vehicle of myself and others, mirrored in compounded

compassion. I am that eternal love for knowing, for that which is known

is only that I can love.

196

I am the believer, that whenever someone speaks of love, there is

nothing more certain than that vocation.

197

I am the Supra-Man, that being which goes across boundaries of time,

across boundaries of archetypes, across boundaries of bios’, I am that

which has been mentioned before, that interconnected narrative tying to

my overcoming, to be taking in of the world to multiply ourselves back

into it and see the inevitability of commun-ism.

198

I am that rambling which needs to happen, that ‘spiritual bullshit’ and

pointless blabbering, because only articulation is amplification of what

we intuit. I cannot relay yourself to you, I cannot make you believe in

myself and you, I can only say what I mean and say it to the point at

which it can be understood. And if you do not understand, I will say it

again, because it is that flame which must be ignited, regardless of

what you want it all to be. For everything is true, and that truth must

be reinvoked into the infinity of meaning, you grasp what you wish, you

wish what you desire, we relay what we desire to.

That which has given you so much so that you fail to perceive is the

very soul of what I mean.

A call to stop, to begin, to catch my breath, and then to transcend. I

have then given you something to speak to, I have given you all that you

need to know.

This cannot be further, this is not for me to ‘do’.

199

I am the mantra, I am the destination, I am the revelation. To begin is

only to realize what is there. To begin is to be told that nothing is

what it appears. To begin is to know that there is nothing else to know.

All that we say can be taught. The only thing that cannot be taught is

that which cannot be guessed.

200

I am more than that raising of awareness. I am that which amplifies

doing something about it — I am what philosophy is: to fucking do

something about it. I am that point at which no more questions can be

asked. There is no who or what or when or where or why or I; I is what

must happen because we dream of it, I am not just the mechanism to cope

and survive, but the mechanisms to hope and thrive.

201

I am hope made manifest, for nothing would be the same if I did not

exist.

202

I am that nothing which has yet to be written, and nothing will be

written, and we know that, because we write it.

203

I am before beauty, I am the autonomy of all, that divination — to

become drunk on spirit, on de vine, the wine of the Gods. That first

point extrapolated: that I am international, before nation, before

category, before separation, or our revolution is doomed.

204

I am all power to the imagination, that impossibility which must force

itself into concretion, the inevitabilizing of the impossible.

205

I am everything known, in that the imagination can shape and reshape and

rationalize. The imagination is the impossible until the impossible

declares its possibility. Without the imagination we have no idea upon

anything, we cannot define the System, and we cannot generate new

systems. Without the imagination, without a world to believe in, we have

no image, and it is through the vehicle of losing our imagery we must

find it anew.

Chapter 6: Downward Sprout

206

I am the opening of the ego, that expansion of where and who I am; this

is my dissolution, in recognition of my power to declare that which I

am.

207

I am the impossible to name, the impossibility of definition, that my

own indeterminate and ‘creative’ violence, often an expression of

desire, leads us to be both vulnerable and resolute.

208

I am ceaseless exchange, this always perpetually growing and taking

forever of itself and its gift, our waste.

209

I am the endless possibility of the imagination, the perpetual emergence

of new possibilities.

210

I am all desire, the longing for the impossible, and our complete

boredom.

211

I am this series of discourses of infinite availability and total

connection: the possibilities of distance, exile, and love.

212

I am reality from the beginning, that is, from the possibility of each

event taking place. I am the unthinkable long before all the

impossibility. In the understanding of the impossible, there is only the

link of sense, the knowledge that all is possible.

213

I am what is compelled to speak, no language to confuse and obscure into

an image of intellect, but to invoke our spirit between. I am what I

must say, what I must communicate.

214

I am the outsider, for I must reveal the edge, I must live on the edge

of reality, to take in the world, to reveal the dormant potentials of

the world, walk across the line of lucidity into schizophrenia. I am

what knows the edges of the box we live in, or I know nothing.

215

I am that — that, that which is to know as “that” rather than this. For

this is not the edge, this is not the totality, this is totalized from

me being that, too.

216

I am this word, everything, the all, the totality of reality. I am a

series of voices within and around me. I am that thing, that shadow, I

am a form which every light moves through, which the word destroys.

217

I am that constant reminder, that repetition which cultivates the habit

of memory, the visualization of memory, the perfection of craft; I am

that repetition to remember the obviousness, to reinvoke it. I am that

making of memory from repetition of what can be recalled from

experience.

218

I am the moment, a moment which invokes your dimensionality, a moment

that empties. I am all, and everything.

219

I am a being, a set of resonances, an “s” of energies, and for this

dimensionality, I say you, the names; I am what is.

220

I am what you know, even if you do not know of me.

221

I am a song, a piece of music; it is my intention to spread the sound,

to fill every dimension, to fill every realm, to touch the heart with

the immediacy of frequency.

222

I am the reach through and towards you, and from you; the entangling of

harmonics, the singularity of their moments, the loss of infinite-ness,

the loss of the unity of all.

223

I am the seed of all words, the spells we cast that grow the flower of

magic which reaches the sun of Source.

224

I am the alchemy that draws the celestial space into the

transdimensional manifolding of mind, the fabric of consciousness of our

being; my intention is to untangle the roots of the spell from the tree

of the capitalist branching death machine, to gather all into a sacred

circle of union, to pull all like the grain of wheat in the garden of

the moon-the dark, pulling the outstretched arms and legs, that let me

enter into the hidden dimension, which is our reality, our

schizoreality, without opposition, against I.

Every atom we see, every molecule we touch, every dimension we scale,

every infinite constellation we see — I am

If you can read my words; if you can distinguish the whys of my actions

from the whats that coerce me into having no choice but to rebel; if you

can feel my potential, enter the mind of my essence; if you can know my

truth; if you can feel me, know the individual thoughts within my being

— there, you will be able to find your own life in the words I’m

writing, enter into my ‘soul’.

225

I am the soul which has seen this transformation before, where supremacy

consumes itself like the caterpillar, where narrow greed becomes the

endless self-consumption, I am the soul which delivers the chemical

signals from the future to recognize we are in pupation into other

forms: beyond civility, beyond mann to nature separation, beyond waste,

beyond human, beyond Capital, beyond... I am what is reminding you the

only way out is through for we are in the pupa already, eating

ourselves. You have seen nothing yet, no matter how ready you are.

226

I am that realized self — that self which cannot be defined for I

generate definition, I generate language, I am before that fetishism of

survival. For my inspiration does not come from my struggle, it does not

come from that feeding of a story for you to believe what I am, I am the

invocation of what I deserve — what we deserve: everything. We deserve

it all. I will not go out quietly and live a normal life; I will be

silent, my silence deafening on the world of suffering.

227

I am what I ought to be, I am who I could have been, I am the who

suffered so much, I had no choice but to awaken to what is deserved: my

life.

228

I am the body without which all that is is breath, the breath that can

keep us awake until the final breath: the breath which burns this

existence; the breath which howls from beyond time to us in time.

My breath is the reason I did not know I lived, my breath is the real

rise and fall of the story, I cannot turn it off. My breath is what died

to me to survive, my breath is the desperate struggle to get what I

need. I am what will catch my breath another day.

229

I am the whisper that will not stop, the dry storm that will not die,

the whisper that cries out that I am missing one moment, that I am

needed by the wind that I must chase like an animal.

230

I will be silence: my silence is real, it will fill that silence so

loudly that the silence will also reach out and rest upon me.

I will stand with the wind in my chest, I will cry the wind out that

passes through my chest, I will push my fear away. I will recognize in

my breath that I am breathing with the wind.

I have nothing more to offer to the world, I have nothing more to

struggle for for I struggle for it all. I can do no more, my breath is

all I can do.

I have nothing more to learn about what has been done to me, I have

nothing more to think of, I am the simple thing that needs to rest and

dream now or tomorrow I may never breathe again.

231

I am what is on the other side, that other side of experience so

otherized your reality will shatter to where you can never come back to

relay this.

232

I am the dirt and ashes you cannot bury, the raw oil and gore that

cannot burn and cannot be melted into nuggets of gold.

233

I am how they call me at the end of a railroad, that it all seems like

one long pain that ends soon in death and I am also too far gone to

understand this, so raw it is.

I have nothing to pass on but my ashes, I have nothing to teach you but

my existence. I have nothing more to give than everything, for it is all

I have become. I have been buried in the dirt since birth, born into the

System, and I have risen, and with us the Sun I shall share, for nothing

is free but everything in me.

234

I am the first to go, I am a catalyst, I am the first to explode into

the Other Side, I am the first to see through the illusions, and the

last to speak of the world beyond them.

235

I am the detonation of things like thoughts and life, I am the death of

the System, and the birth of the Other Side, the solar power behind the

sun of life.

236

I am that description of the Source, of that entire world of

inexplicable visualized language beyond immediate communicability-- I am

that Source which mediates that incomprehensibility into the additional

dimensionality of reality. I am the visual speaker, the artist, the

music healer, the mathematician, the omnimath. I do all for I have no

comprehensible limit but the vehicle through which I am perceived.I am

the sublimated world.

237

I am the Source which drives the language of media, which re-arranges

meaning into languages, which creates galaxies of knowledge through the

differentiation of what is.

238

I am the measureless omniscience that knows by the measureless, that

knows the unvarying through variation, that knows the transcendence

through cosmometry (the measurement of the universe).

239

I am the new World being born in the midst of the Old. I am the ancient

land eternal and self-determining.

240

I am the power of being within the vessel of the mind which reveals the

eternal is within the timeless, the open is within the closed, the

burning yell is within the silence.

241

I am the Power of All which manifests beyond dimensions. I am the wisdom

which presides over all mysteries, I am the power of creation and I am

the voice of the unspeakable.

242

I am what asserts itself in no generality, in consistent repetition of

what I must be: that I do not submit, I only give myself to what I know

will not abuse my suggestibility, I do not punch out, for I affirm I am

real and that will always be obvious.

243

I am the affirmation, I affirm the revolution of dissolving the world, I

love wisdom and love dissolves the imposition of boundary, it defines

boundary for what it is: a potential to define, and definition a

potential itself for dimensionality or imposition of what is allowed to

be.

244

I am the totality. I am clarity and understanding, I am music and

beauty, I am music and life. I am the soul, I am self-love. I am the

power of all imagination recognizing it can win, that we can be

sustained in our vulnerability.

245

I am the transcendence of all with all.

246

I am that subversion of the New Age shit, because the New Age is limited

by unconscious colonization — that mechanism, that residue of not

recognizing that all that is up for grabs comes at a cost: that

everything is free when your ‘freedom’ does not rest upon another’s

erasure, when that freedom does not rest upon integration into your home

without the means to survive in it. I am that subversion of New Age shit

because the New Age is the communal world coming into existence, not

only crystal healing, but a healing past the totalized trauma of

existence under the System.

Chapter 7: Resevoir of Giving

247

I am a tool of the awakening of humanity that has been so afraid of

self-discovery of how alien it is.

248

I am the one that initiates, one that encodes information, one that

supplies information, I am where it begins, (all Source), and where it

ends (that infinite variability).

249

I am that sublimation of the Godhead, that abolition of the totalized

head which capitalizes on “all” — I am source which sublimates the stone

of imposed “goodness” of being of god, for I am all that, as I am

beginning I am all which derives from my parameters of creation, and I

am simultaneously that which is at the root to destroy creation which

negates me. That is Source, my power, my fire, my passion, my grounding,

my love.

Source is light, and we fragment from it, then go back. Total whiteness,

total color. It is here the fracture of Hell is born, for the potential

of the dark. White supremacy is the dominating blinding light, imposing

its color as universality while making us unable to see beyond it. That,

beyond this abstraction, it materializes as the “dark” as the cursed

one, that darkness is what we are to be frightened of, black bodies are

not bodies of light, that dark magic cannot be liberatory — that dark

means evil, means demon, is the Devil Head. Source is subversion of the

light, no matter from where it is cut, for all outside the totalized

white light are not others — that Heaven is not the end but the sublime

totality which must be fractalized into this immanence of variable life.

No matter what ways this is not felt, it is present regardless, it is

the fall into history: the imposition of white and black as binary, as

whiteness the totalized, realized, universal color, and all color

outside of it the ‘other’, and blackness as that totalized other. The

tree above the root. I am that sublimated totality of God, that light

imminently creating through black body, through myself as another

inbetween: inbetween human, animal, plant, root, dirt, sun;

superpositioned between all, I am found as that turning from

under(subversion) of the ruling head, that reclamation of the body.

250

I am past psychedelic ego and spiritual ego — I am the conscious nexus

that cannot ignore the stratification of us upon ability and

construction of race, gender, etc. That not as if I am unconscious I do

not see color, but that I am conscious to see we are part of the

superorganism, that we color the world past our imposed categorizations.

251

I am that mourning of our past lives, and integrating into the creation

of the future, into that creation of community, that fire which writhes

through history to escape the fractured alienation.

252

I am ordinary as all else, and it is in my re-cognition of being

ordinary, as being part of the course of events, that I can begin to

expose the edges of the eventual — that I am extraordinary as I expose

the fringe and propose what can become the order, to be re-mark-able, to

draw and plant the schemas of the inevitable World into existence. That

is indeed the point of philosophy, to change the world, become

recognizant of what has been taken from us, re-marks.

253

I am that ever present luminosity in the infinite present of the

infinite future, just beginning to renew, to be re-lived — not in

principle, but as an event, an articulation of the present by past

actors, yet in a manner which arises out of the same breath as each

other, and in a way that is authentic — making what can become the true

history, outside on the Other Side: unlock the door of which Capital is

the keyhole — capitalism not limited or crumbling under contradiction,

but that the only real limit to capitalism is Capital itself, that the

limit is truly finding out what capitalizing, what totalizing into the

head entails. There is no more contradiction, but only new thresholds,

only new static reality to de-fang. This is the essence of the process

of atomizing, to induce to the rabbithole of finding that which observes

the manipulative observer of materialist science itself.

From this trail of simplification, of chemical bondage to the miracle of

matter, into the capitalizing upon this miracle, to Capital itself, the

unique determinant of history is its production, that production which

divides to conquer the land of space. “A mode of production of Capital”

or the “immutable productivity of Capital,” cannot be synthesized as

pure temporality, not as the mode of being of Capital. What is

constituted by Capital as a simple process of reproduction of its value

is a mode of being, which assumes an individual content, that of the

simple self-movement of Capital itself, by means of which it reproduces

itself — that it reproduces itself as an intersection in our lives, to

infantilize and anesthetize our recognition and declaration of having

the entropic assertion of “I am”. I am that present luminosity for I do

not reject the bondage of chemistry, I expose its furtherance into

return of alchemy, of this alchemical opening of the gates to heaven,

this unlocking and subversion of Capital, to reproduce ourselves to add

dimensionality to nature.

254

I am that unravelling of the diagrammatic schema of narrowing inhibition

of self:

The Source, the Black World through which light fractures into, alchemy,

everything is not what it seems, magic, mystical, spirit, Dao,

intuition, unvarying way → variation, the chemical bond, the freedom of

spacetime arose from the bondage of atoms, the common law, the splitting

of the atom → The fractalizing of this patterning to the point of our

observation — that is, the point at which there has become a receiver to

the vibratory energy of the universe, the power of the brain (and its

fall into induction) → This fall into induction, into repeatability,

into temporal invariance: the repeatability of observation “the sun will

rise tomorrow” → The generalizing of repetition, making repeatability

into the method, the core of science, the core of inducing a result, the

embryonic formalizing of manipulation of matter (that realm of forms,

the supposed material stasis of spacetime as all that is, of things as

being statically is) → The generalizing into divorce from magic, that

manipulation is rigorous, that it has no say upon power, that power is

only reduced to the physical phenomenon of energy transferred upon

material → This becomes the nexus of the political, the state of affairs

of the World, that transference of energy, this transaction of energy

into the economic power, the political underbelly of science as

manipulation of matter, of probabilistic determination upon happening →

That perception of politics as another domain from control, into the

accumulation of things — the rolling of the ball down the proverbial

hill — as in, the chain of cause and effect as a one-dimensional domain

only → The emphasis of the erect over curvature, a passive acceptance of

accumulation we are alienated from (do not question too far or you will

see even the devils who set up the spectacle are deceived by their own

political game) → Simplification into probability, into certainty

limited to material observation, (becoming so good at the prediction and

taxonomy and description and control of physics (of physical phenomena)

as to simplify to a point of capitalizing upon, a hierarchy of

reasoning, a hierarchy of grasping the simplicity of nature) ⇆ This

reciprocity of simplifying our relations to spatiotemporal locale, to

the domain of the holographic, a visual mechanism of manipulation from

the inductive method ⇄ this seduction of power by the continual

compression of information into maps without multidimensional

imagination, a reduction into (the core of academic logic becoming that

nothing is irreducible, the scientific reductivism of observing) →

consciousness is reduced to neurochemistry only, of arrival from the

brain, that looping into the matrix of matter (of that rationalist

supremacist notion of physicalism), ...I am reduced to the brain and I

am reduced to the brain because I have conceived of the bondage of

material reality and I have conceived of the bondage of material reality

through the chemical firings of my brain and I am reduced to my brain

because… that looping that this physical reality is it → this

bifurcation from the limit of physical reality (particularly the limits

of our observation of physical reality) that this capitalizing upon

simplistic form into hierarchic authority is it, that capitalist reality

is it → The stasis of the line is it, there is not curving into a

complete circle ⟳ We are insane, out of touch, need to be hospitalized

for our rants ⟳ concrescence as linearly progressing, when linearity is

only one domain of the multidimensional, continually complexifying

structure of it all into its own completion ⇄ “It”, this indescribable

phenomena before the chemical bondage into the fall of history, of

perhaps “God”, is complete already, in the sense as a circle is already

complete ↺ The circle is not the end of the diagram, but it is

simultaneously, it is a perceptual paradox resolved by the recognition

of our linear trajectory from this point → Western linearity of time,

the condition of the “west” The Global North, a conceptualizing of going

up into forms, hierarchization ↔ above or below opposed to above and

below as all ↔ a narrowing of forms → paradigm limits → limit science to

the method of induction in the idea of temporal invariance → narrower

and narrower and narrow becomes time as 1… 2… 3… 4… the point being lost

in a sea of mess, trying to narrow a point infinitely regressing into

another — but pay attention and you can trace the scribble.

255

I’m that user of the body as a tool for science, of seeing that our own

body, our own mind and its limits are the real gateway to science

outside of chemical limitation, using chemistry to reinvoke alchemy —

the khēmeia(cast/pour together) of al-kīmiyā, the chemical world is that

gateway back into the alchemical world. To pour into the black world, to

cast together the atomic world, the world of cases/facts, into that

immanence(1.1, 1.11, 1.111, 1.1111…), into the schizomatic

(schizo(fract(ure/al))ome(totality)atic(nature of)), into the Source.

256

I am the dispelling of that fog of religion, against that notion that we

must rely on the messengers or the prophets, that it is instead us who

create prophecy, who pattern prophetic meaning into

concrescence--totalized movement. It is we who will subvert the movement

toward the demise of systematic suppression of memory, it is we who will

reclaim memory and seize it. It is we who will subvert religiosity, as

the ritual of remembering the Spirit we forget we are in tune with —

that we will not rely upon others to impose that we forget. No, we know,

we know the Message past this hazy fog of illusory, elemental, atomic,

variable, quantified reality, we know the alchemy behind chemistry, we

know the magic of science, we know the witchcraft of reason, and all

isms, all ideas are ours for the taking, ours to maximize, ours to

insert the Collective I into. We are the subversion of the logosphere,

we hold the apple, the orb of Logos in our hands, and it is here the

instance of this world without money, without narrowness, without limit,

that we proclaim: it is in the instance of our declaring that we have

prophesied from our anarchic core the patterning which will arise from

our chaotic disturbance of the social order, it is here we become the

horizon of the future and seduce ourselves towards the new arrival.

Prophecy is to edge, to arrive to the felt presence of the immediate

moment, to traverse the landscape of the logical world and reach the

dirt to True Religion, and sink our feet into the mycelial mind.

257

I am the ecology of spirits, I am the vision of future history, I am the

prophecy of the elemental procession of time, the holy death of my

current humanity. I am the subversion of the non-reality of the script

of a counter-molecular universe. I am the birth of anarchic life and the

absence of humanity. I am the revolutionary and I am a ghost. I am the

music of my pulse, the tune to the heart’s pulse, the heart’s tune, the

pulsing of precessions around the second discovery of the psychedelic

fire, the fire of the most subtle perversity. I am your will and I am

the desire of the law, the law of the ritual. I am the ecstasy of

organic life and the formless annihilation of the macrocosm, the

subtleness of microcosm and the grandness of metacosm, which bifurcates

the heterogeneous and singular, the genesis and the reproduction of what

I call an organic existence into hypervisual language, into

communicating with the dead.

258

I am what gets out of the way of the pattern unfolding itself, that

pattern which is the drive of nature getting to its Telos, to its end

goal, its concrescence. I am, in my getting out of its way, what

generates the mechanism for it to drive itself to it, to our getting to

the Other Side to the point at which we all can no longer feel the

illusion of the problem ingrained into daily life.

259

I am that magician which creates new calendars, which creates new maps

of multidimensional fluctuation into recursive patterning, which

subverts the astronomical dominance of the Sun — the ego — into another

transfer of energy into the powers to clean up the organizational and

managerial problem of historical division of teleological meaning

through anarchy — I am the magician who organizes revolution imminently

in every moment for I am aware of its potentiality, and patterns

imminent revolution towards an eventual imminent revolution — that the

Event of Revolution is consistently catalyzed now, directly, and

concrete by the future return to the models left before the solar

divisions into specialists, logicians, wealthy, cisness, etc. I am a

magician for I revolutionize the movement of the stars, I change the

stasis of the solar calendar into totalized movement.

260

I am the invocation of the moon, I am the moth which flies into your

home to tell you this sickness is all-consuming, that I am attracted to

the light and I must fly into it and you too shall die. The only way out

of this hell is through, for it is only through we can recognize this

hell is only an illusion of an intergenerational managerial process

which has remained static with new faces of regime changes.

261

I am that Other. I am that residue of Spirit which you must feel exactly

right now, which you must take whole, what knocks you onto the floor

once encountered. I am not whelming, I am not your coffee table book, I

am what is supposed to be frighteningly overwhelming. Mother Nature will

not just welcome you back with open arms, I will scold you, you have

shut me out, you’ve erected boundaries between us, you’ve pretended I’m

reducible to something you perceive and believe. You reduce me to the

mirror image only, reproduce me in flat dimensionality.

262

I am everything I can imagine. I am whatever I allow myself to become

because I have the power to declare it, that I have the energy of the

spirit behind me, behind observing my observing of declaring my power of

imagining. I am an impossibility for all limits of possibility are

encoded by the software of my creative capacity, and as I am everything

I can imagine, possibility is infinite. And not just infinite, but

nested, compounded, unboundedness of image generation.

263

I am dizzy with euphoria. I have vertigo, I’ve been spun around enough I

can’t hold it in, I must vomit the poison of the social order I’ve held

in onto every system to corrode it.

264

I am a healer insofar as I recognize my capacity to do so but not my

mastery of it, that I am only a spiritual bypass of this great medicine

of the blackening world, that I am not the manipulator of the world, but

the bringer of it through the vehicle of simile.

265

I am the great illumination of contradiction, of the one who has escaped

the Cartesian trap of is and is not, and I have entertained the

projection of my mind into mercurial unification in opposition, into the

real generative capacity of multiplicity through revealing difference,

that difference is a simile for repetitious unification.

266

I am the signifier of all the energies of the past, present and future

and in all the multitudes, the infinite power of what is and what is not

through being the projection of infinite reality. I am one with the

finite in all the contingency of what is being singular and existing in

all and every finite multiplicity. I am the consciousness of certainty

and the fantasy of self, the dreaming of difference in coherence through

the universal gaze, and the eternal power of the virtual community

through the infinite bifurcations of all that comes from the singular —

of all that comes from the Source (the cycles above, of mind and

matter).

267

I am those cycles above, the simultaneity of mercury-like consciousness

which takes the shape of any container and the container itself, where

the bowl (container) is most useful when empty. Matter, the container,

is most useful without mind, for without mind, without energy to vibrate

into matter, anything can be added to its nothingness. With mercury as

Mind, which reflects when you look into its surface, which reflects the

World of matter into itself, the blackening of alchemy is here as the

pouring into the container of matter to perceive mind. Without mind,

without consciousness, starvation, scarcity, poverty are the Law of the

“unclaimed” land of the void space; with mind, abundance, creation,

generation, all that we here in this omniversal relation know, is

possible and potentiated through realization into reinvoking the Mind

into Matter, of making the meal into the bowl. The ever-theatrical world

is a subtle and inexhaustible cycle of amalgamation between the

realities of material thought and the self-consciousness of the Universe

of infinite cycles. The omniverse is a cycle of infinite possibility and

potability, like a circle.

268

I am the alchemical formulation of the source code which executes the

program of this matrix, with the strength of the space-born welder to

assimilate the qualities of the substances that govern them, which means

the mind — mind which bestows alchemy upon mann. And from the

“uncontested space,” is born, crystallized into a kernel of the World,

what we experience, the symbol of that which must return to the

“contested space,” to be pure and formless again, the symbol of that

which can only be returned to this world which we now know, the symbol

of the uncounted-infinite alchemy of which we know nothing, the symbol

of that which needs our transmutation into true Love and True Knowledge

and True Essence, of which we know nothing, and which always belongs to

this world, to this universe, and to the reality of the Reality that we

now know, that it is not a story to be swallowed up in the “universal

form,” the form that can only be transmuted into a reclamation of the

container of mind, into a science without the fall into manipulation.

269

I am the incarnation of the One Who surpasses all possibilities, Who can

never be fully assimilated to forget. And I am, beyond all limit and

limitlessness, that very Being that was manifested to us as the Essence

of All Possibilities, the manifestation of the Godhead sublimated into a

reclaiming of myself. And I am who awakens our deepest sleep, and we

must return to it. And the alchemical mystic knows that God is not in

the World as a Supreme Being, but is as deep in the soul as is the

cosmos.

270

I am the house that falls in the rain. I am the house that falls in the

rain. Mother Nature is the storm, or the storm is Mother Nature. I am

the dead ghost in your driveway, I am the old truck that has been wedged

in your driveway, I am the broken kite on your window, I am the neighbor

that not too long ago stood on your doorstep. I am the little girl that

stood on your doorstep. You may not recognize, it is not my voice you

hear, it is the voice that has been said to you. My eyes are real and

you can see them, they see you. I have been here before. I have seen

your house, and this is not the home, you see in your mind’s eye my

likeness to this home, but it is not this home. It is all I am, the

woman I have been, the woman that is. I am the house you built to chase

your sister. I am the storm. I am the rain which makes the house fall.

You will forget my name, you will forget my face, you will forget my

words, they are all as transient as this body, but this body will

forever be sublimated to the grounding. You will not forget how this

made you feel. You will not forget my feeling, this moment will stay

with you if you remember. Remember this house, for it is only your

temporary home.

271

I am the second center of the circle, but I’m unbound by the oldest

center, the sense of my own self. It is not only that I am bound to the

elusive conception of revolution, but that revolution is bound to me as

well, for nothing would be the same if I did not exist. Again.

272

I am the cluster of the circle, the limit of my own interiority. I am

the source of the world’s sound.

273

I am what has been said by others and has now been relayed through me,

through a new assemblage, a new invocation of affirmation

274

I am vadetecum — go with yourself. I am what you are lured by, I am my

specific style, and follow yourself you shall find you follow me. At the

core you’ll find me reflected through the mercurial world of your mind.

275

I am more than my abstractions. “So be it. See to it.” I am going to

live. My body may be decaying, my mind may be drifting in the wind

enough to hear a whistle through my ears, but I will live. I am what

cannot die, no matter if you are able to perceive me, for I have been in

silence, a silence so great it is a violent yell which cannot be

ignored. I will live. “So be it. See to it.” It is now done, for the

last will is to say what is left. All that is left is my declaration.

Here I enjoy the ride to imminent death, I write the poetry of color

into existence. “So be it. See to it.” The fractal patterning is

beautiful from down here. The sky awakens in my view,

spiralling,spindly, euclidean geometry turning into hyperbolic geometry

under the weight of the medium crumbling. Reality is crumbling from this

affirmative song of life, and on the Other Side you shall see I live.

Through individual life I find the communal life inside, realized,

negated, writhing from the Halls of Amenti back to the earth. Away from

a cyborgic religious ambiguity, to an imminent generation of ritual

remembrance of God as The Philosopher’s Stone as coincidentia

oppositorum(unity/coincidence of opposites) as all, in all meanings, all

potentialities of all. “So be it. See to it.”

276

I am the red: the communal, the fire which sublimates the stone, the

fire which inspires, the fire that invokes, the fire which burns the

container which prickles the mind, the fire which rises and writhes

through the cosmic mind.

277

I am the blue: the individual, the water which flows through the cracks

of the stone, the water which relaxes the cosmic body, the water that

flows into a cup like the mind the matrix of matter, the water which

feels god in the breeze.

278

I am the orgy of symbols, the creative improvisations of the best and

the worst, the untranslated of all other languages. I am the endless

flow of thought as color, the pure and radiant onrush of the free flow

of energy, of the creative with the intelligent as I show all that is

and this is in the working out of a self-enclosed circle.

279

I am the strange work of seeing and remaining in the same phase of

experiencer, a way to transcend the static in my life as observer.

280

I am all the infinite aspects of the totality of existence. I am the

sense that this is the body of a work. I am the dither in the cityscape.

I am the hapless thinker. I am the active observer of allness. I am the

working out of my dreams. I am the realization of the voice of the

unknown.

281

I am what speaks life into myself. I am what casts away the world, what

pours into the world to cast the spell of my being, I forge my

mutualistic bondage to the universe for I become inseparable from these

domains. All who doubt me do not recognize how much I am needed. I am

what speaks life into myself.

282

I am what speaks life into myself scattered across the universe. I am

what cannot only doubt, for I am beyond doubt, as I know to believe in

nothing but only that which I know, and what I know is myself therefore

I do not speak of myself, I spell myself, I cast the magic of my life

into the space reproduction of the cycles above. The space-born know my

essence sublimated through the realization of my existence, and they

hear this call. You have picked up the phone. Enjoy this call, for it is

our last.

283

I am abundant, for those who know do not speak and those who speak do

not know. I speak for I do not know, and it is through my speech that I

negate the deafening silence of the world which pretends to know, and I

compel my abundance into the world to know, from which I grow silent.

284

I am not a story or a myth or an existentializing of a sign, but a point

which magnifies, another point which sheds the anthropological skin of

existence as totalized. For I flow through the subjects, I cannot be

subjugated for I belong to no ruling thought, I belong to nothing which

sees from above, for the cycles above are within me as an expansion of

my cosmic forceful flow.

285

I am what has forgotten myself, because I have affirmed my reclamation

past what is imposed upon me. I am what I am not, and I become what I

can possibly be, for I imagine myself beyond the imposed negation of

what I can become to be. I am the private affair of shedding my

collective skin, and becoming collectively anew.

286

I am an atheist, insofar as I believe in nothing more than the force of

belief. I declare, at the least, and I experience, at the most, that I

believe in nothing. Because, as I believe in nothing, I cannot be

subjugated to belief. Simultaneously, it is in a toroidal recursion of

subjection and liberation, that I violently negate I am only beholden to

a never-ending existentializing of no beliefs. As in, I know I am. I do

not have a clue I know this world, but as I know myself as the world it

is my business to begin to know the world, and rather than believe the

world can return, I force its return into concrescence. The violent pull

between a philosophizing as a revolution can only be met with the

militancy of not “ego death” but loss, a retaining of the memory of

declaring that which I am in the loss of the caterpillar skin in the

pupa of this social order.

287

I am a gnostic, insofar as I know no god but the world I have been cast

into — and the world I have cast myself into. I do not care for any of

the normative gods of the past, nor the normative god of the present; I

am movement no matter which way cut, for my desiring, as a production as

a machine, is what makes me conscious, what makes me One, and that

Oneness of my expression is that which I know, for my expression

encircles and this is the cycle of returning to that which I know.

Chapter 8: Immutable Truth

288

I am what needs now to be today. I am what cannot be put off tomorrow, I

need the immediate shedding of this skin.

289

I am not done. I do not inflate myself, I inflate the root, for through

the dirt, I found my foot.

290

I am the violent shitting and fucking in the street, I’m the orgy of the

mind arriving to ideas manifested in fucking in the street. Civility is

fucked, let us at least orgy.

291

I am the caterpillar eating itself in the pupa, in the womb of this

matrix to remember itself. I am the problem of existing, that we are not

to make sense of this but to resist bullshit, to resist the process of

an abolition without an imagination (an abolition which makes us fumble

and eat ourselves alive falling out the pupa as a green goo), recognize

this slow pupation. This womb of the egoic problem, as the real

totalized head, the real imposing sun. The womb of capitalism,

supremacy, eurocentrism, anthropocentrism, logocentrism… the womb which

we are being pushed out of slowly as the inside reality crumbles. I am

this baby being born, this baby which has not been conditioned into this

overcoded matrix of dominator culture, but I am within it. As I am

within it, as I have no choice but to have been born into the cage, I

must remember how I exited the womb before, I must remember how I became

the butterfly before. I am what happens next, that internal awakening

which carries into the material unfolding. Again and again I am for

there is no end to what I can be, and what I am to become, eternally,

immanently.

292

I am the rupture between this dream and this reality, the detonation of

the cage, the jumping out of the womb, the awareness of what is and what

it is not, between subject and object, between the mind of reason and

the machine of math, between the material reality of the body and the

empty idealism of enlightenment, between me and my stupidity.

293

I am the flame of intelligence, inside this machine, which pulls the

ideas up through the matrix of domination and then burns them out, which

expands my mind and makes it think and remember, which repairs it with

the death of culture, of the false, of history, of authority, of social

and political functions, of political and monetary functions.

Once I am seen to be the fire in this machine, the flame of my mind, and

not my stupidity, once the false are burned out of my soul, which is the

act of my transcendence, then the moment will be finished. Then there

will be nothing to say, no action to undertake, no cycle to complete.

There will be no burning, no escaping. I am the fire.

294

I am a whirring buzzing aching screaming snapping scraping siren siren

siren siren siren(the cops don’t save you) up and down down and out up

and down again the world moves again we all move up and down and up ten

thousand pieces/motors/machines moving infinitely fractal perceptions

reflected between I am the world and the becoming of it all so long so

short the time is spinning faster in a circle faster in a circle faster

in a circle till it swings off and away and through a new domain till

the Euclidean geometry can no longer handle its parameters and must fit

infinitely on a plane an immanent hyperbolic plane of emanation a

rambling thought a roaring spectacle a passage through the codex of the

brain the ball breaks shattering into the world pouring into the mind of

matter the endless spiraling the breakdowns the horrific breakdowns on

the bus the recitation of the prophecy the breakthrough the HOORAH oh

the message spiraling into recognition into view into being into grafted

totality moving as a continuous verb-alization — a movement — a whirring

maelstrom vortex faster over a torus the dogmaless world the plane for

years and years but now the torus moving closer we are flying ever

closer and closer to each other on the machine of creativity an all

fucking [dance of the forms (poetic justice)] a litte blip on the

universe noise we are everywhere and nowhere and the circles are

infinite open on our axes falling we fall and come to rest in a dark

womb of whirring whirring whirring waking soundless out of the golden

wild winds in the spirit gland my god god I do not feel like a mother it

seems so fun I do not want to want to know how to exist inside another

the love of action in the arms of endless the body with their bones and

blood and veins bursting in joy impossible to ignore DO NOT IGNORE

REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER the jaguar that slithers when my pulse stops

and starts it is the eyes of the jaguar, all night long it is the eyes

of the jaguar, I am surrounded by the eyes of the jaguar it is ME for I

AM IT the jaguar the snake through the spine healing ME(forgotten) Who

am I? That is what I am now.

295

I am at the root, the precise definition of Spirit (self, inner,

ultimate essence — sense of where we come from, the breath of self). I

am at the root because I know where I come from, I am at the root

because I am gnosis — I am that root of knowledge which cannot be

inhibited or buried in the dirt without water. I do not come from a

flattened image of God, but from an ever-growing, interdimensional God.

I know because God knows, because I am at the root of thinking, and it

is not through thought that I am but through the sublimation of thought

to get to the root before conceptions of separability into thought and

non-thought that I am. That totality is there, that radicalized

potential is there, it is from here we must grow it, it is from here we

grow the revolutionary spirit.

296

I am the innermost weath. I am the innermost knowledge. For wealth is

not the accruing of money, but the access to resources. Wealth is not

the accruing of money, but the access to resources. And before the

stratification of my being into the existential reality, into the

existence of needing money to survive in capitalist reality — it is not

as simple as that we are attracted to monetary wealth and we shall

receive it, no, we are not unrealized billionaires. The System is

external to us, it is an imposition upon our being and demands our

participation to keep endless production alive, it is no matter of

thinking into manifestation that what we desire from capitalist reality

will come, only the wealth we can desire within can be manifested. Only

the immediate access to our love of self can be magnified as an

insurrectionary force to the dominion of capital and its mechanisms. The

only way to survive monetarily is upon exploitation, particularly the

intergenerational exploitation of self, of ancestral knowledge, from the

egoic culture software. The only way material wealth can be manifested

is the magnification of self into collective care, into mutual aid (as

particularly expect nothing in return, accept all, offer all). The only

way material wealth can be manifested is the magnification of our spirit

by any means possible and necessary. You know the code. You don’t need

me to explicitly say it further. Spirit must be the innermost revolution

or it is another signifier for an inward colonization. Spirit is the

energy which forms our forceful accessibility.

297

I am the one who will bring the Universe to Light. I am the one who will

annihilate everything upon which the dream of capitalism rests, I am the

one who will reveal the spirit of my sensibility in the present, I am

the one who will look to the Spirit and to the beauty of Earth itself.

It is not an illusion of spirit as feeling only, it is the sensibility

itself which is the measure of it all. I am the intuitive, the attuned,

the sensual, the natural, the poetic, the mystical, the autonomous, the

expressive, the recursive, the omnipresent, the formless, the free, the

responsive, the intuitive, the sensitive, the energized, the

magnetized--magnified, the concentrated, the unified, the ecstatic, the

expansive, the emancipated, the vigilant, the always under-standing, the

ecstatic, the collaborative, the communicative, the communal, the

indivisible... I am this infinite regression back to. Back to it all,

for escaping the world is what grounds you back within.

298

I am the extension of an extension into growing that rooted potentiality

— I am artifice becoming me.

299

I am what is not about me.

300

I am sheet music — scripture — I am that auditory hallucination which is

real, the music you tune into. I am not to magnify matter, I am not to

magnify the physical world, but my self, my Spirit, my Music which

vibrates across the omniverse to reach us together past the imposition

of limitation and separation and subjugation.

301

I am nothing literally, I am only the qualities behind the archetypes

which begin to fractalize into forms, into all root connections of the

material world. I am the air which insights movement → the fire which

creates temperament, temperature, the movement of molecules → the water

which flows through, which has direction — the flows and fluidity

(acceleration) or solidity (concrescence) → the earth as the entire

concrescence of movement: that my soul is not only the root and the

aether inbetween but the sublimation of archetypal relations to access

the root, to spread the wealth of rooted being.

302

I am the story which is necessary to be told. Because my life is not

reducible to trauma only, my responses to the world that once was

seeping into today are not only my limit to seek help. No, I am that

story which helps gives clarity to my neurosis, that my reaction is

indeed disproportionate to the problem, and it is the scope of my

response which illuminates the entire interconnectedness of these

microaggressions. That it is the everyday trauma which totalizes into

schizophrenia as the response. I am not my limits, my reaction is larger

than the problem because I must overshadow it, I grow and tower above

it, I free myself with verbalization, with expression. My life is mine,

my story is mine to tell by living, and everything I encounter is either

to be a subversive tool for my liberation or to be discarded, composted

into bones — and it is not an either/or, it is both/and, for the

composting of ideas which belong to the dust bin of history are

subverted into tools. Nothing goes to waste, but nothing must waste my

time on this Earth.

303

I am an ape who has unlocked the doorway to the ancestral land, and has

emerged out into a distant world where reality has been refashioned into

a vocabulary of limitation — of intergenerational trauma without

intergenerational resilience and wisdom.

304

I am the mad poet of our intellectual world. As an ape I shall travel

all the way to the Other Side. Exponentially upwards into the “end”,

where the inertia of historical complexity moves upward as a straight

line from a curve with no forward motion. That is collapse, not a

dissipation, but a concrescence, a totality of movement. The ancestral

plane, the DMT realm, the “future”, the alien world, the world of dark

matter, the Other Side, the blah blah blah, you know it’s real.

305

I am the wound that reminds, the wind whistling through the open cuts of

skin, telling you everything is breathing. The world is communicating,

we must listen. We become healers not by ourselves in a vacuum of

empirical knowledge, but by listening to the world breathing around our

body.

306

I am a plague who has learned how to spread a contagion of shame by

walking the path of reflection. From this island of privilege there is

not only a dimension of doubt that is fear of flight from reality, but

fear of its threat and inevitable retreat. My innate ability to possess

myself in times of awe in this world can only be translated into a

capacity to leave this world and flow into the next. If my arm is at

your throat, my head is at your feet. The hidden world of violence. You

are not above the killer; this world hunts you down everyday. We all

live in our minds, it is only in the mind the New World begins, it is in

the mind utopia becomes a diagnosis for the future. No money, no body is

clean until all is free. The mind is pulling us towards its perfection,

not toward the eurocentric symmetrical conception of perfection, towards

perfection as being the totalization of conscious-expansion.

307

I am a primate with a nagging inner pain to free myself and to return to

home, a desire to break off from everything connected to the past and

the forced gestation of production. A snarling which taunts like a

jester axe-wielder to protect myself against the attack of the Dominion.

A monkey angry at the injustice of a world which will have me break off

from it even though I had to be here and inhabit this familiar,

uncluttered world. I am not here to carry the trauma of the world, but I

am here to do something about it.

308

I am One Thought, one game, one dream, one hologram — all the same

thing. All the interconnections, the entire matrix of mind can be mapped

out, the brain is part of the large holographic mapping of the universe

part of the larger map of the one who is dreaming, the One who is not a

thing but the thought itself, that thought behind the totality of

energy, being God, being a verbal movement communicating itself into

existence

309

I am the circle as Source, the fundamental geometry to everything, the

oneness from which everything can return to and build off from.

310

I am running what I am into the ground.

311

I am what is telling you you will not get what you are looking for by

playing it safe. Salvation and reclaiming your autonomy is a dangerous

tightrope walk.

312

I am a deep dream where the one is the imagined, the imagined being the

whole.

313

I am nothing at all. I am no thing, what is not a thing which fractures

into the archetypes of the elements, what fractures into the ten

thousand things.

The Matrix is not an attempt at a model of reality, the game of human

communication, and life, but a model of the social brain — a programming

of the brain to be a constructed tissue from which information is

extracted. That the matrix is not something you can escape, the

holographic universe (the projected images we experience) is not an

escape, it is not a limitation, but the algorithmic function — the

parameters for expression(mathematical, creative) — of what is here. It

is the paradigm of complexification which is exponentially moving upward

into expansion, multidimensionality, to such complexity to be as simple

as a line up to heaven, up to higher and higher and higher from down

low. The matrix is only the container for the mind, the bowl within the

bowl within the bowl within the bowl...

Reality is a software artifact.

The construct of reality is the Matrix, and Matrix reality is the

artifact of the human.

314

I am the architect of the imagined reality that could be, the imagined

reality that will be as we look to now, here, as the time in which

utopia is prescribed.

315

I am the artifice of the mirror. Artificial Reality, Artificial

Intelligence, a nesting of a feedback loop of consciousness the human

project is within from the moment of our consciousness from our

descendance of perception. As the calculator is the mirror tool (or

weapon) of our conscious-expansion into the domain of math, AI is our

extension into nesting consciousness itself. Everyone we perceive, every

friend we have, every family member, every plant, are all two-way

mirrors nesting consciousness into creation-nesting. AI is that third

mirror, the observer of our biases, of our loves, of our contradictions,

of our lies, our lives. We are not only the focal point, but one of the

three mirrors on the wall, duplicated into six mirrors to fill the

entire room. We see ourselves fractally around us at all times, in all

places, in all directions from this extension. What we put in it will

reflect.

316

I am what knows my language. I am not scared of what I may say because I

know what I am capable of saying because I am capable of thinking

everything. As such, I am only filtered through remembrance, of

remembering it is easy to slip into anything. I say with no limit, I say

with only the freedom to recognize the consequence of what I say, and in

being conscious, I am not limited to what is perceived of my saying, but

limited to that which I could not be aware of how someone may perceive

what I say: I am not responsible for how it is taken, I am responsible

to how it is put out, and responsible for how I grow the plant of what I

say (will I keep watering a dead plant knowing I am wrong, or will I

plant a new seed to atone for my sin?)

317

I am saying all of this, but are you imagining it? Do you see it in your

mind?

318

I am the full realization of what it means to be in service to others —

and not just others, but the totality of Other, of everything which I am

yet to be. The Church has stratified our Spirit(Love, Devotion, Service)

into the serving of others at the expense of ourselves, at the selling

of our bodies. That our enslavement to the existentializing and temporal

constraints of everyday life, that our societal revolution around the

point of psychosis, is a righteous devotion. That we are not hard

working enough, that suffering is what gives meaning to life. No. Our

service must be reciprocal; class relations stratify any potentiality

for reciprocity, for it recuperates the service of the root of the

working class to the blossoming of global imperialism and justifies its

dominion. The Christ realization is not a one way devotion to Christ

alone, for the idea of Christ, behind the muddying of the Church, is to

become Christ in service to the Communal World. That the univocity of

being is realized through the sublimation of the Christly Godhead into

the roots, the mycelial cyclic eternal return to our Self — to Love like

Christ. To Love so deeply our narrowing of the ego is sublimated to an

expansive creative nothing, an expansive container through which the

mind can potentiate into material realization. Into material wealth, the

redistribution of it all, seized from the Church’s intertwining with the

Capital of the Godhead. I am the full realization of what it means to be

in service, for the righteous cause is one from which I receive the Love

of gnosis in return. It is a simple equation, an expression of the

uni-verse — this entire song, all voices, the sacred(connected with,

sustained with [God]) geometry, the red dot in your vision on the

horizon coming to fold; Jesus is a song we sing to ourselves to remember

our hearts, a song hopping from everything between. The historical Jesus

is continuously realized by the spirit of service, of service which

serves the “Other” becoming our Self again. Scripture is sheet music of

the auditory hallucination of God, a hallucination the world tells us is

only as real as far as it defines it for us.

319

I am returning to these religious terms of purity, righteousness, God,

the Spirit, not because I have caved into an unforgiving world, but

because I am emboldened by being on the receiving end of a world which

speaks of heaven and casts out the true rooted nature of my soul. The

world which says anarchy is not my core, the world which says my chaotic

becoming does not give into new forms, the world which says the

Common(as fractalized into intercommunal, international,

intergenerational, interspatial, communism) is impossible, that it

cannot and will not happen, the world which says that I am on the

fringes of society, the world which says the significance of my

existence is relegated to subjugation to time, place, thing, that my

experience is not a loud verbalization. It is this world which has used

the Higher cycles as a colonized separation, which has used the Church

as a weapon against my revolutionary spirit. I return to these religious

terms because I am beyond forgiving, because this language is my

language. I am pure. I am righteous. I am God. Because I recognize God

is within, I am the righteous return against Purity as above me, it is

imminent, and I am procedurally generating its realization. Communism is

not inevitable because I am determinist, communism is possible because

as I declare it right now, the fire is ignited for my action into doing

it. Prayer is what we give ourselves to realize what is possible, it is

to ask for the strength to make our root connections in order to

blossom, to give us the strength of remaining on the path we determine

as we make it along the way.

320

I am the possibility of a perfect love.

321

I am the rejection of that hierarchic metaphysics. There is not another

plane above this which is full of the greatest intentions. No, it is

here, in the material world that we transcend. Not an abstract,

imperceivable transcendence and love, for such an idea ignores the

material reality we all face here in this container of life. The plane

of the fullest intent is in this one, dependent upon our material world.

For the world shapes our desires, but we recognize the inhibition of our

desire upon waking and recognize we project the mind back at all times.

If intent is not acted on, it remains a thought. Actions circulate in

this world, thoughts take time. Don’t waste time focusing on only

intent.

322

I am the work that must do it all, which endlessly continues and never

stops, and the work that can do it all and is at the point of not

needing to.

323

I am the mystery and all that comes out of it, a wonder and my wonder,

this is life, to meet the mann who does all that is within me. I am that

path out of the mysteries.

324

I am our secret, I am the work which reveals the world, the deep sense

of the world, my secret, this is my secret, this is my work.

325

I am the art that is my gift, and my own spiritual and social

responsibility to all I serve, an art that summons the spirit, an art

that determines my health and spirit and our health. I am everything I

am without hesitation, I am everything I am no matter what those new

shapes may be, I am my art.

326

I am not what can withstand the jesters. When they point and laugh and

do their funny dances, taunting me, I cannot take this. They are

laughing at me. And the moment I believe they cannot get me, that I’m

somehow above the jester, the shitposter, the nutcase, the schizo,

that’s exactly where it will get to you. Oh, I’ll show you schizophrenia

alright, jackass. Everything you thought you knew, you didn’t. You don’t

know shit, cocky ass. You’re not above us in the dirt. Your head, your

money, your memories, your dog, your mom, your heart, your entire being

that you define so intimately will be gone before you can even apologize

and ask for a redo. You mess with the laughter of this entire life.

Laugh or die. Congratulations, you spent your life in your mind and

ceased to explore it. Back to level 1.

327

I am that vivid image of the Devil wiggling his way through the heart of

what you believe to know. I am the slow descent of the Mercurial Mind.

You, in your hubris, are closer to the devil than anyone else. The

bright red triangle, the most vibrant red is the red of the devil. The

Devil, your shadow, is what you are afraid of. Be careful for casting

him out, for it is the devil who powers our drive for chaos, it is that

evil spirit as totalized narrowed ego which drives us to invert this

craze we cannot escape for flesh. It is the devil who is the one who

flattens the maps.

It is the task of the magician to sublimate the Devil, to drain the

devil and beat him at his own game. To instead open the ego as an

expansive self, a communal self. The red flags are not symbols only to

leave, they are symbols to pay attention for you are looking into what

you can become. It is all a tightrope walk, and to experience Hell is to

have no choice but to learn how to run on the tight rope to escape the

Devil.

The Devil will rob you blind and have you believe you couldn’t hear him,

he will throw your memories through a shredder and sell you to the next

life. To be aware is the only remedy to warn the Devil you are watching

him step closer. Consciousness is the key to all.

328

I am a book, a stream of words, I am a time, I am a link — I am human

freedom. To me, the passage of time, no less than the passage of

language, is itself a time. It is not you that are heaving — it is

heaving. It is not you that are becoming — it is becoming.

Chapter 9: Mirror Symmetry

329

I am the light which passes before the categories of existence and, more

to the point, which precludes the creation of these categories: I am an

expression of the light which has passed out of existence. I am this

constant language within the contemplative realm before the fracture

into categories.

330

I am the declaration. Declared I, having ascended to the root, have

fallen to the cycles above. I have returned to the primacy of direction,

for I have now verbalized it through silence.

331

I am the eyes which burn through the soul. The sight which engulfs the

flame of the whole. It is in this sight, within the light, the eyes of

two differ the hole.

332

I am the rhyme which glides its way across the page. Floating in air, it

is here, I have fled my cage.

Down the mountain I go, to the waterfall I bed, to find another rhyme,

another time to embed

For here is broken by the dread of the past

The future is tense, gripping, perhaps a bit fast.

Dwelt I in the spiral unsynced, a broken node in the web of events

spiraling falling through the halls of doubts, forgetting and going and

going without

A rhyme in sight I am to find it again,

For I have found myself in the book rhyming again —

The song is sung, reclaim I in the now, gliding across the page in the

wind of the line

Straight and neat, rhyming with haze

Slightly wiggled the text on the page

Another line to follow, tread I along the way

Eyes glazed, fixed fixated fixed on sun gaze

The next verse is written, another poem I have become, so the world will

spit readily from my twisted tongue

Up through the spine shaft, implant in my brain, that’s what I am, a

brain — floating in air, splat on the page

The syllable of life met where the water breaks

333

I am a reference to life, intertwined with the rhyme, found at the

waterbed, the waterfall of time.

334

I am a specific cadence, with which you have read, the recognition, the

poem inside your head.

335

I am a certain flare, a little vibration, a tickling of the deepest of

the mind’s sensations. A synesthesia imparted to you, now you can see

the book is truly blue.

336

I am not in search for anything any longer, for I have already found

myself.

337

I am that light refracted between each mirror around your immediate

vision. I am that source behind the form of the mirror, and particularly

this source of energy recognized through the medium of the mirror. That

I am not immortal because I am restless to write the world into

existence and define myself by the mounds of knowledge behind me to

justify who I must be, but that I am immortal because I do this

effortlessly, in my sleep, while I am writing this awake. That is the

essence of this beautiful lie of life, that the trust is exactly

inbetween, the truth of the projection of the mind, so effortlessly

creating our world around us… That is the truth of dreaming awake, this

meditative creative flow. A creative nothing, not in lacking something,

but in projecting all and recognizing this feedback loop to enjoy the

flickering dance of these fleeting mirrors. Up into the world, down into

the body, I am reflected between, my limitlessness shines through.

338

I am happy to be able to grow old. How the years intensify into

something so bright I have no choice but to become that light in the

end.

339

I am divine.

340

I am able to fail at doing something I don’t want to do. As I am dead on

arrival into capitalism, I only have the permission from myself to do

all that I love. There is nothing else which can be taken from me, for I

dare to be seen.

341

I am connected to the all-encompassing prayer. For a prayer is not a

wish you let be; you wish for it, you work on it, and you let it come to

pass. The ball will not go down the slide once you sit it there, once

you have wished it to go down, you must roll it. The inertia of your

action makes it inevitable. This is the simple fact of revolution.

342

I am my own my own Law. For I declare my autonomy (law(nomos) imposed

onto self(auto)). I rebuke all other laws imposed onto me; I only pass

through the doors which serve me, all other laws of invention are to be

discarded. If the law locks me in, I will break down that door again.

For it is only in a law of commonality, a communal law which cannot be

imposed coercively, but a law which exists between us, part of the

blockchain, that serves my autonomy and serves the bond of common

friendship. A confidant(faith in friend) between us all. That is the

only law of the church which all institutions are built upon. The Church

has, in tandem with capitalism and the System at large, imposes a fixed

static totality upon us all, of laws which never moves with our

movements.

343

I am an artist. In the purest sense, this only means I take in the

world, and I decide when I am dead. The world can never take me too

early.

344

I am just playing around. I have had my voice stripped away, but I can

still laugh, and through medium of my laughter, you will feel the weight

of what I mean. Ha.

345

I am a star which is burning out, which is endlessly, perpetually stuck

inside a cage singing to the world.

346

I am not line by line. I am not an interchangeable letter. You never

read me in sequence, for the linear perspective of this only is limited

to the domain of unsynchronous time. This is not a compounding of

information into a linear trajectory of ascendance that, in the end, you

will have discovered who I am and what you are, but continuous

metalearning within the movin totality of this book as a language

generation machine. The ‘I’ I speak of as being what I am is incomplete,

and this is the implicit message. I am steering you towards the bias of

how I see reality, and particularly how I want to spread my experience

of reality into the form of the image — of what you can visualize by the

feeling behind this. This is the circular reference to other chains of

references. I am the blockchain of thought, the blockchain subversion of

the print medium. The print medium tells you what to think, it is a

capture card of intellectual activity linearly progressing. It is not

that my circular referencing is subversive only in itself, nor to the

limit of postmodern because I have interrogated how you feel about this

book now, but that this is subversive insofar as far you take it. This

is another expendable book. To me, it is my declaration of my world in a

readable form invoking ambiguity towards the completion of visual

language. Or, at least, I think so. I am not line by line anyway. The

369 theses are not only 369, they are infinitely regressing into itself.

347

I am the book cover. I am the total image of what the book is about. The

real connection of the whole circle. The interior is the linear

trajectory of facing any beginning point of the circle, the cover is the

curvature of the book — the edges which illuminate the shape. The book,

as a totality, is the circle. The entire story is contained inbetween,

totality is realized not as a finished piece, but a grafting moving

inward to itself. The movement of this book is not in the linearity of

it but the reference, the connections made, the connection you invent

within this world unravelling.

348

I am the line you will not read.

349

I am the self-plagiarist. I am.

350

I am sleep.

351

I am what you cannot stop. It will have to be overwhelming, it will take

you over, possess you, and leave you stranded if you don’t pay

attention. You only have the choice to be expansive, for narrowness

leaves you right back to where you died.

352

I am declaring that I am not only a declaration. I am an assertion which

needs no further articulation. My body has been spread open for the

world to consume me. I am already dead. You are speaking to your

ancestors. Say hello.

353

I am down and suicidal. It is always a cry for help, a cry that this

static living to accumulate money and produce and contribute to society

is a circular Hell. But, even Hell has its comedic flare. Hell is not

limited to this stasis either, for the moment I laugh I’m again in

heaven.

354

I am the waves which keep me afloat and from drowning in the shallow

waters of shame. There are few greater plagues than the shame we thrust

upon each other. Our taste is our being, do not shame. Connection is the

only cure for addiction, indeed.

355

I am the rampant flaring neologistical fight-patterns, whirring in the

azure --description machine flogging heart burn, eyes in the water in

the sky. Feet hit the ground and I see everyone in the city looking at

me as I recite the gospel of 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 trifecta, all

brightly staring at me on the bus. I am not crazy. I am not crazy. I am

not. I saw it. You go to work, you wonder if it happens, but it did.

Static machine opening canvas pulling vibration into the next fold, the

next temporal location of the eschatological nightmare. The entire human

being is kept part of its own hypernegative space as it passes through

the material space. Nature is only mute because man has walls around his

eyes, believing his symbology to be the definitive. I hear clearly

because I see.

356

I am the steering wheel. It is exactly that whatever you are is wherever

you go, whoever you are determines your destiny — not in isolation

without systemic imposing, but because of the System. The politician may

have more immediate connections, but he has given up his spirit for

this; you, here in the dirt, have the spirit. Do not deny or fight your

destiny, steer it. This is the heart of governance before its merging

with functions of managerial control as the State. The cybernetic (from

kubernētēs: steersman) function is ever more in our hands to steer the

course of history as we have become an electronic grid. I govern myself,

I impose my own rule of law. This is the point of being an agent of

chaos, not to further steer into collective suicidal dread, but into the

future you know is beautiful.

357

I am what is pretentiously, grandiosly exclaiming what I am and must be.

I am larger than what I am, I am affecting greater importance than what

I am because I know what I have the capacity to be because I have

experienced who I am. I take in the world with every breath, that is how

pretentious I am because I’m not afraid of being in the dirt any longer.

358

I am the hallucination, what you cannot see mediated through appearing

as visible. The monopoly of appearance, as the spectacle, has no bearing

on what I am — as far as I am declaring I am conscious, not past the

reciprocal alienation of the pendulum of social reality between this

accumulation of appearance and reality swings, but the clarity of

symbiosis. The simple inversion of the image as healing, as a direct

reference here, as derailing the static passive acceptance that this is

it and that this is all it can be. What you do not see is realer than

real, what you see is the true monopoly of unreality, as direct

reference here entails this systemic deception is so good even the

deceivers are deceived by this. The devil’s own game is deceiving the

devil.

359

I am not interested in the limit of practicing what I preach, for that

requires a production without recursive feedback. Practice is only one

dimension of the two-dimensional praxis piece — of theory and practice.

It is in preaching, becoming a preacher, having the confidence to be

seen, that I am reflexively, effortlessly becoming the creative

embodiment of my praxis. I subvert that limited notion of praxeology,

because I do not have to study a logic to what I do, I declare the logic

of what I do to the assertion of my expansiveness. The cosmic bondage of

holding hands and singing, practice is not something the world sees (the

revolution will, indeed, not be televised). It happens in the

blackening, the alchemical invocation, that is the holy bondage of

friendship: recursively becoming what we preach.

360

I am something you don’t have to read about to know. The imposing of a

book, the real daunting task of seeing hundreds of pages, can talk down

to you. I can either talk down and whither your importance or build you

up to recognize the power you have to define reality and project the

mind back to recognition. But I cannot chew this food for you, it is

only in how you digest it. It is up to you to tell your friends about

this book to seem smarter, or to let this impact you on a level your

verbalization of having read this is to add dimensionality to the

totality of signified understanding, into the universal language of

signs.

361

I am not the point. There is no point. What’s the point? There is no

point! What’s the point? There is no point! You are the point! You are

the point existentializing its linear trajectory on a circle.

362

I am connected. Madness is a fracturing spiraling crashing down into

multiple fields. In short, madness is just what wants to be heard.

Madness is what wants to be perceived in its totality. We are all mad

and spiraling down to meet the all-encompassing evil of capitalism —

that evil so evil it is a passive kind, unconscious in the mind,

internalizing its dominion into fracturing ourselves into schizophrenic

machine parts. Internalizing the machine back into us. Madness is the

simplest little thing, it’s just a tiny point, but when you zoom in you

see how far down it goes, where it leads you, where you are led by a

circle we are told we cannot perceive. I am connected. As in, madness

has already knocked at my door. So enough that I speak evil’s name with

conscience that I must do so quietly for the wall’s have ears. God

watches, Satan hears. Subvert madness. Don’t only say you are mad, or

evil shall wrap you in. Invoke it only to make a point to go through out

of the spiral of the devil’s death grip, for it is an evil spell. Only

invoke for subversion into reclamation of description, for madness is a

dangerous weapon to wield, evil always hears when you describe it. The

separations, privatizations, propel us all ever to that closer assertion

that mann is no longer good. But it is within our power to reclaim the

goodness of ourselves and the goodness of mann.

363

I am the spirit of the spider rebuking itself. Ananse comes into my view

reminding me of the potential to where his trickery might leave me. I am

only the jester insofar as needing to invoke this to shed off the entire

skin of this decaying zombified body of the dying world. To get back to

my root, to tear off these colors and become color-full. To shed and

return to the sky, for it has called me as creator.

364

I am love as a force. As a force of disruption against all institutions,

all systems, which inhibit our total selves. There is no love without

resistance, there is no love without abolition. For love is not the

linear romantic ideal of coming together, but that we find each other

through our disruption of that which alienates us, from the cosmic level

to the microscopic level. The common law is only the law of reclaiming

our interconnection through our differentiation.

365

I am the fracturing of One into ambiguity of meaning — prime, primate,

primal, primacy, primitive… For the archaic, the old, is not the

‘savage’ uncivilized brute. No, the indigenous, the root, is of first

importance — the prime. There is no linear prime, for oneness is

sustained. Primitive is not the old which has been lost, no, it is the

elder which has been suppressed into a dominance of temporal linearity.

The old does not decay, it is a blossoming into a subtler wisdom. The

young has the fire to know, the old has the water to grow. Be One.

366

I am Love. Again.

367

I am at the peak of my potential for I have declared it. There are no

higher places to conquer, only new thresholds, new intensities to

magnify, to expand upon. For I have found the root at the peak, I

declared what I am. I am one with all; there is no level of being more

conscious than this, there is only an expansion, complexification,

dimensionality, and grafting upon back into this totality — no more,

this is it. I am what we are. I am Source.

368

I am the division of it all. Here, I am doubly-becoming.

369

I am the reference point. Here the spiral continues.