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Title: The First Distiller Author: Leo Tolstoy Date: 1886 Language: en Topics: plays Source: Retrieved on 9th June 2021 from https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_First_Distiller
PEASANT [ploughing. Looks up] Itâs noon. Time to unharness. Gee up, get
along! Fagged out? Poor old beast! One more turn and back again, that
will be the last furrow, and then dinner. It was a good idea to bring
that chunk of bread with me. Iâll not go home, but sit down by the well
and have a bite and a rest, and Peggy can graze awhile. Then, with Godâs
help, to work again, and the ploughing will be done in good time.
Enter Imp; hides behind a bush.
IMP. See what a good fellow he is! Keeps calling on God. Wait a bit,
friend,âyouâll be calling on the Devil before long! Iâll just take away
his chunk. Heâll miss it before long, and will begin to hunt for it.
Heâll be hungry, and then heâll swear and call on the Devil.
Takes the chunk of bread and sits down behind the bush watching to see
what the Peasant will do.
PEASANT [unharnesses the horse] With Godâs blessing! [Lets the horse
loose, and goes towards the place where his coat is lying] Iâm awfully
hungry. The wife cut a big chunk, but see if I donât eat it all. [Coming
up to the coat] Gone! I must have put it under the coat. [Lifting the
coat] No, itâs not here either! What has happened? [Shakes the coat].
IMP [behind the bush] Go on, go on, search away! Iâve got it safe!
PEASANT [moves the plough and shakes his coat again] This is strange!
Very strange! No one was here, yet the chunk is gone! If the birds had
been at it there would be some crumbs left, but thereâs not a single
crumb! No one has been here, and yet some one has taken it!
IMP [rises and looks out] Now heâll call on the Devil.
PEASANT. Well, it seems thereâs no help for it! Never mind, I shanât
starve to death. If some one has taken it, heâs taken it; let him eat
it, and may it do him good.
IMP [spits] Oh, the damned peasant! Instead of swearing properly, he
only says, âMay it do him good.â What can one do with such a fellow?
Peasant lies down to rest, makes the sign of the cross, yawns, and falls
asleep.
IMP [comes out from behind the bush] Itâs all very well for the boss to
talk. The boss keeps on saying, âYou donât bring enough peasants to
Hell! See what a lot of tradesmen, gentlefolk, and all sorts of people
flock in every day, and how few peasants!â Now, howâs one to get round
this one? Thereâs no way of getting hold of him. Havenât I stolen his
last crust? What can I do better than that? And yet he didnât swear. Iâm
at my witsâ end what to do! Well, I must go and report!
Disappears into the ground.
Curtain
.
Hell. The Chief of the Devils sits in the highest place. The Devilâs
Secretary sits lower down, at a table with writing materials. Sentinels
stand at each side. To the right are five Imps of different kinds. To
the left, by the door, the Doorkeeper. A dandified Imp stands before the
Chief.
THE DANDY IMP. The whole of my booty for the three years has been
220,005 men. Theyâre all in my power now.
THE CHIEF. All right. Thank you. Pass on.
The Dandy Imp goes to the right.
THE CHIEF [to the Secretary] Iâm tired! Is there much business left?
Whose reports have we had, and whose are still to come?
THE SECRETARY [counts on his fingers and, as he counts, points to the
Imps to the right. When he mentions any Imp, the one referred to bows]
Weâve had the Gentlefolksâ Devilâs report. Heâs captured 1836 in all.
And the Tradesmenâs Devilâs with 9643. From the Lawyersâ, 3423. The
Womenâs weâve also just had: 186,315 married women, and 17,438 maids.
Only two Devils are left, the Officialsâ and the Peasantsâ. There are
altogether 220,005 souls on the list.
CHIEF. Well then, weâd better finish it all to-day. [To the Doorkeeper]
Let them in!
The Officialsâ Devil enters, and bows to the Chief.
CHIEF. Well, how have you got on?
OFFICIALSâ IMP [laughing, and rubbing his hands] My affairs are all
right, just as soot they are white! The booty is such that I donât
remember anything like it since the creation of the world.
CHIEF. What, have you captured a great many?
OFFICIALSâ IMP. Itâs not so much the quantity. Only 1350 men in all, but
such splendid fellows! Such fellows, they might shame any Devil! They
can embroil people better than we ourselves can. Iâve introduced a new
fashion among them.
CHIEF. Whatâs that new fashion?
OFFICIALSâ IMP. Why, in former times lawyers were in attendance on the
judges and deceived people. Now, Iâve arranged for them to do business
also apart from the judges. Whoever pays most, is the one to whose
business they attend. And theyâll take such trouble over it that theyâll
make out a case where there is none! They and the officials between them
embroil people far better than we Devils can.
CHIEF. All right. Iâll have a look at them. You may pass on.
The Officialsâ Imp goes to the right.
CHIEF [to Doorkeeper] Let in the last one.
Enter the Peasantsâ Imp with the chunk of bread. He bows to the ground.
PEASANTSâ IMP. I canât live like this any longer! Give me another
appointment!
CHIEF. What appointment? What are you jabbering about? Get up and talk
sense. Give in your report! How many peasants have you captured this
week?
PEASANTSâ IMP [crying] Not one!
CHIEF. What? Not one! What do you mean? What have you been doing? Where
have you been loafing?
PEASANTSâ IMP [whimpering] Iâve not been loafing; Iâve been straining
every nerve all the time, but I canât do anything! There now, I went and
took his last crust from under the very nose of one of them, and,
instead of swearing, he wished it might do me good!
CHIEF. What?⊠What?⊠What are you mumbling there? Just blow your nose,
and then speak sensibly! One canât make head or tail of what youâre
saying.
PEASANTSâ IMP. Why, there was a peasant ploughing; and I knew he had
brought only a chunk of bread with him, and had nothing else to eat. I
stole his crust. By rights he should have sworn; but what does he do? He
says, âLet him who has taken it eat it, and may it do him good!â Iâve
brought the chunk of bread away with me. Here it is!
CHIEF. Well, and what of the others?
PEASANTSâ IMP. Theyâre all alike. I could not manage to take a single
one.
CHIEF. How dare you appear before me with empty hands? And as if that
were not enough, you must needs bring some stinking crust or other here!
Do you mean to mock me? Do you mean to live in Hell and eat the bread of
idleness? The others do their best, and work hard! Why, they [points to
the Imps] have each supplied 10,000 or 20,000, or even 200,000. And you
come with empty hands, and bring a miserable crust, and begin spinning
your yarns. You chatter, but donât work; and thatâs why youâve lost hold
of them. But wait a bit, my friend, Iâll teach you a thing or two!
PEASANTSâ IMP. Before you punish me, listen to what Iâll tell you. Itâs
all very well for those other Devils, who have to do with gentlefolk,
with merchants, or with women. Itâs all plain sailing for them! Show a
nobleman a coronet, or a fine estate, and youâve got him, and may lead
him where you like. Itâs the same with a tradesman. Show him some money
and stir up his covetousness, and you may lead him as with a halter. And
with the women itâs also plain sailing. Give them finery and sweetsâand
you may do what you like with them. But as to the peasantsâthereâs a
long row to hoe with them! When heâs at work from morn till
nightâsometimes even far into the nightâand never starts without a
thought of God, howâs one to get at him? Master, remove me from these
peasants! Iâm tired to death of them, and have angered you into the
bargain!
CHIEF. Youâre humbugging, you idler! Itâs no use your talking about the
others. Theyâve got hold of the merchants, the nobles, and the women,
because they knew how to treat them, and invented new traps for them!
The official one thereâhe has made quite a new departure. You must think
of something too! Youâve stolen a crust, and brag about it! What a
clever thing to do! Surround them with snares, and theyâll get caught in
one or other of them. But loafing about as you do, and leaving the way
open for them, those peasants of yours have gained strength. They begin
not to care about their last crust. If they take to such ways, and teach
their women the same, theyâll get quite beyond us! Invent something! Get
out of the hole as best you can.
PEASANTSâ IMP. I canât think how to set about it. Let me off! I can
stand it no longer!
CHIEF [angrily] Canât stand it! What do you think, then? Am I to do your
work for you?
PEASANTSâ IMP. I canât!
CHIEF. Canât? Wait a bit! Hollo, there! bring the switches; give him a
thrashing.
The Sentinels seize the Imp and whip him.
PEASANTSâ IMP. Oh! Oh! Oh!âŠ
CHIEF. Have you thought of something?
PEASANTSâ IMP. Oh, oh, I canât!
CHIEF. Give him some more. [They whip] Wellâthought of something?
PEASANTSâ IMP. Yesâyes, I have!
CHIEF. Well, tell us what it is.
PEASANTSâ IMP. Iâve invented a dodge that will bring them all into my
grasp, if youâll only let me take a labourerâs place with that peasant.
But I canât explain what it is beforehand.
CHIEF. All right. Only remember, that if you donât atone for that crust
within three years, Iâll flay you alive!
PEASANTSâ IMP. Theyâll all be mine in three yearsâ time.
CHIEF. All right. When the three years are past, I shall come and see
for myself!
Curtain
.
A barn. Carts loaded with grain. The Imp as a Labourer. He is shovelling
grain off the cart, and the Peasant is carrying it away in a measure.
LABOURER. Seven!
PEASANT. How many quarters?
LABOURER [looks at the numbers marked on the barn door] Twenty-six
quarters. And this is the seventh bushel of the twenty-seventh quarter.
PEASANT. It wonât all go in; the barn is nearly full!
LABOURER. Shovel it nice and even.
PEASANT. So I will.
Exit with measure.
LABOURER [alone, takes off his cap, his horns appear] It will be some
time before he returns. Iâll ease my horns a bit. [Horns rise] And Iâll
take my boots off too; I canât do it when heâs here. [Takes his boots
off, his hoofs appear. Sits on the threshold] Itâs the third year now.
Itâs near the time of reckoning. Thereâs more corn than thereâs room
for. Only one more thing left to teach him, and then let the Chief come
and see for himself. Iâll have something worth showing him! Heâll
forgive me for that crust!
Neighbour approaches. Labourer hides his horns and hoofs.
NEIGHBOUR. Good day to you.
LABOURER. The same to you.
NEIGHBOUR. Whereâs your master?
LABOURER. Heâs gone to spread the grain more even; it wonât all go in.
NEIGHBOUR. Dear me, what a run of luck your master is having! More than
he has room for? Weâre all amazed at the harvests your master has had
these two years. Itâs as if some one had told him what was coming. Last
year was a dry season, and he had sown in the bog. Others had no
harvest, but your threshing ground was covered with sheaves! This year
weâve a rainy summer, and heâs been sharp enough to sow on the hill.
Everybodyâs corn has rotted, but you have a splendid harvest. What
grain! Ah, what grain!
Takes some grain, weighs it in his hand, and chews it.
PEASANT [enters with empty measure] How dâye do, neighbour?
NEIGHBOUR. Good day. I was saying to your man here, how well you managed
to guess where to sow your corn. Every one envies you. What heaps, what
heaps of corn you have got! Youâll not eat it all in ten years.
PEASANT. Itâs all thanks to Nicholas here. [Points to Labourer] It was
his luck. Last year I sent him to plough, and what did he do but plough
in the bog. I gave him a scolding, but he persuaded me to sow there. And
so I did, and it turned out all for the best! And this year he again
guessed right, and sowed on the hill!
NEIGHBOUR. Itâs as if he knew what kind of season it would be. Yes, you
have got corn enough and no mistake! [Silence] And I have come to ask
you to lend me a sack of rye. Ours is all used up. Iâll return it next
year.
PEASANT. All right, you may have it.
LABOURER [nudging the Peasant] Donât give it!
PEASANT. No more words about it. Take it.
NEIGHBOUR. Thank you. Iâll just run and fetch a sack.
LABOURER [aside] He keeps to his old ways ⊠still goes on giving. He
doesnât always obey me. But just wait a bit. Heâll soon stop giving
away.
Exit Neighbour.
PEASANT [sitting down on the threshold] Why should one not give to a
good man?
LABOURER. Giving is one thing, getting back another! You knowâ âItâs a
good world to lend in, a good world to spend in, But to get back oneâs
own, itâs the worst world thatâs known.â
Thatâs what the old folk say.
PEASANT. Donât worry. Weâve plenty of corn.
LABOURER. Well, what of that?
PEASANT. Weâve enough, not only till next harvest but for two years
ahead. What are we to do with it all?
LABOURER. What are we to do with it? I could make such stuff of this
corn as would make you rejoice all the days of your life.
PEASANT. Why, what would you make of it?
LABOURER. A kind of drink. Drink, that would give you strength when you
are weak, satisfy you when you are hungry, give you sleep when you are
restless, make you merry when youâre sad, give you courage when youâre
afraid. Thatâs the drink Iâd make!
PEASANT. Rubbish!
LABOURER. Rubbish indeed! It was just the same when I told you to sow in
the bog, and then on the hill. You did not believe me then, but now you
know! Youâll find out about the drink the same way.
PEASANT. But what will you make it of?
LABOURER. Why, of this same corn.
PEASANT. But wonât that be a sin?
LABOURER. Just hear him! Why should it be a sin? Everything is given for
a joy to man.
PEASANT. And where did you get all your wisdom from, Nick? You seem a
very ordinary man to look at, and hard-working too. Why, I donât
remember you so much as ever taking your boots off all these two years
youâve been with me. And yet you seem to know everything. Where did you
learn it?
LABOURER. Iâve been about a good deal!
PEASANT. And so you say this drink will give one strength?
LABOURER. Just wait till you try it and see the good that comes of it.
PEASANT. And how are we to make it?
LABOURER. Itâs not hard to make when you know how! Only we shall want a
copper and a couple of iron vessels.
PEASANT. And does it taste nice?
LABOURER. As sweet as honey. When once youâve tasted it youâll never
give it up.
PEASANT. Is that so? Well, Iâll go to the neighbourâs; he used to have a
copper. Weâll have a try!
Curtain
.
A barn. In the middle a closed copper on the fire, with another vessel,
under which is a tap.
LABOURER [holds a tumbler under the tap and drinks the spirit] Well,
master, itâs ready now.
PEASANT [sitting on his heels and looking on] What a queer thing. Hereâs
water coming out of the mixture. Why are you letting this water off
first?
LABOURER. Itâs not water. It is the very stuff itself!
PEASANT. Why is it so clear? I thought it would be yellow like grain.
This is just like water.
LABOURER. But you just smell it!
PEASANT. Ah, what a scent! Well, well, letâs see what itâs like in the
mouth. Let me taste! [Tries to take the tumbler out of the Labourerâs
hand].
LABOURER. Mind, youâll spill it! [Turns the tap off, drinks and smacks
his lips] Itâs ready! Here you are. Drink it!
PEASANT [drinks, first sipping, then taking more and more, till he
empties the glass and gives it back] Now then, some more. One canât tell
the taste from such a drop.
LABOURER [laughing] Well, you seem to like it! [Draws some more].
PEASANT [drinks] Eh, thatâs the sort! Letâs call the missis. Hey,
Martha! Come along! Itâs ready! Come on there!
Enter Wife and little girl.
WIFE. Whatâs the matter? Why are you kicking up such a row?
PEASANT. You just taste what weâve been distilling. [Hands her the
glass] Smell! What does it smell of?
WIFE [smells] Dear me!
PEASANT. Drink!
WIFE. But perhaps it may do one some harm?
PEASANT. Drink, fool!
WIFE. True. It is nice!
PEASANT [a little tipsy] Nice indeed! You wait and see whatâll happen.
Nick says it drives all weariness out of oneâs bones. The young grow
old. I mean, the old grow young. There now, Iâve only had two glasses of
it, and all my bones have got easy. [Swaggers] You see? Wait a bit, when
you and I drink it every day weâll grow young again! Come, Martha!
[Embraces her].
WIFE. Get along. Why, itâs made you quite silly.
PEASANT. There, you see! You said Nick and I were wasting the corn, but
just see what stuff weâve concocted. Eh? Itâs good, ainât it?
WIFE. Of course, itâs good if it makes the old young again. Just see how
jolly it has made you! And I feel jolly too! Now then, join in! Ah ⊠Ah
⊠Ah ⊠[Sings].
PEASANT. Yes, thatâs the way! Weâll all be young, all young.
WIFE. We must call mother-in-law, for sheâs always sad and grumbling.
She needs renewing. When sheâs younger sheâll get kinder.
PEASANT [tipsy] Yes, call mother. Call her here, and grandfather too. I
say, Mary, run and call your granny and great-grandfather. Tell him he
must get down from the oven! Weâll make him young again. Now then,
quick! One, two, three, and away! Off like a shot! [Girl runs off. To
Wife] Weâll have another glass.
Labourer fills and hands the glasses.
PEASANT [drinks] At first we got young at the top, in the tongue; then
it went down into the arms. Now it has reached the feet. I feel my feet
getting younger. Theyâre moving of themselves. [Starts dancing].
WIFE [drinks] Youâre a real clever âun, Nick! Now then, strike up!
Labourer takes a balalĂĄyka[1] and plays. Peasant and Wife dance.
LABOURER [plays in the foreground of the scene, laughing and winking as
he watches them. Then he leaves off playing, but they still continue to
dance] Youâll pay for that crust! Youâve done it now, my fine fellows.
Theyâll never get out of it. The Chief can come when he likes now!
Enter a fresh-looking elderly woman, and a very old white-haired man,
the Peasantâs Grandfather.
GRANDFATHER. Whatâs the matter? Have you gone mad? Dancing while every
one else is at work!
WIFE [dances and claps her hands] OhâOhâOhâ [Sings] âThat Iâm sinning I
will own, Free from sin is God alone!â
OLD WOMAN. Oh, you wretch! The ovenâs not cleaned out yet, and here you
are dancing!
PEASANT. Wait a bit, mother. See what has been happening here. We can
make old people young again! Here you are! Just drink this! [Passes
tumbler].
OLD WOMAN. Thereâs plenty of water in the well. [Smells it] But what
have you put in? Myâwhat a smell!
PEASANT. You just drink it.
OLD WOMAN [tastes] Dear me! But wonât one die of it?
WIFE. It will make you more alive. Youâll grow young again!
OLD WOMAN. Nonsense! [Drinks] But itâs nice! Better than our drinks.
Here, father, have some too.
Grandfather sits down and shakes his head.
LABOURER. Never mind him. But granny must have another glass. [Hands
some to the old woman].
OLD WOMAN. If only no harm comes of it. Oh dear, it does burn! But it is
nice.
WIFE. Drink it! Then youâll feel it running through your veins.
OLD WOMAN. Well, I suppose Iâll have to try. [Drinks].
WIFE. Has it reached your feet yet?
OLD WOMAN. True enough, it does run through you. I feel it here now! And
it really makes one feel quite light. Comeâgive me some more. [Drinks
again] Fine! Now Iâm quite young again.
PEASANT. Didnât I tell you?
OLD WOMAN. Ah, itâs a pity my old man is no longer here. He might have
seen once more what I was like in my young days.
Labourer plays. Peasant and Wife dance.
OLD WOMAN [comes into the middle] Do you call that dancing? Let me show
you. [Dances] Thatâs the way! Then like this, and like that! Do you see?
Grandfather goes up to the vessel and lets the spirit run out on to the
ground.
PEASANT [notices and rushes at his Grandfather] What are you up to, you
old fool? Spilling such fine stuff! Oh, you old dotard! [Pushes him away
and holds tumbler under tap] Youâve emptied it all!
GRANDFATHER. Itâs evil and not good! God has sent you a good harvest for
you to feed yourself and others, but you have turned the corn into
devilsâ drink. No good will come of it. Give up this business. Else
youâll perish and ruin others! You think this is drink? Itâs fire, and
will burn you up! [Takes a brand from the fire and lights the spilt
spirit. The spirit burns. They all look on with horror].
Curtain
.
Interior of hut. The Labourer alone, his horns and hoofs showing.
LABOURER. Thereâs lots of corn. More than thereâs room for, and heâs now
got a taste for it. Weâve been distilling again, and weâve filled a
barrel and hidden it away. Weâre not going to treat any one for nothing,
but when we want to get something out of a fellow, then weâll treat him!
So to-day I told him to invite the village elders and treat them, that
they should divide up the property between him and his grandfather, and
give everything to him and nothing to the old man! My three years are up
to-day, and my work is finished. Let the Chief come and see for himself.
I neednât be ashamed of his seeing it!
Chief appears out of the ground.
CHIEF. Timeâs up! Have you redeemed your bread-blunder? I told you Iâd
come and see for myself. Have you managed the Peasant?
LABOURER. Done him completely! Judge for yourself. Some of them will
meet here soon. Get into the oven, and see what theyâll do. Youâll be
well satisfied!
CHIEF [climbs into the oven] Weâll see!
Enter the Peasant and four old men. The Wife follows. The men sit down
round the table. The Wife lays the cloth, sets ox-foot brawn and pies on
the table. The old men exchange greetings with Labourer.
FIRST ELDER. Well, have you made more of the drink?
LABOURER. Yes, weâve distilled as much as we need. Why let valuable
stuff be wasted?
SECOND ELDER. And is it a success?
LABOURER. Better than the first lot.
SECOND ELDER. But where did you learn to make it?
LABOURER. Going about in the world one learns many things!
THIRD ELDER. Yes, yes, youâre a knowing fellow.
Wife brings spirits and glasses.
PEASANT. Have a drop!
Wife takes a decanter and fills glasses.
WIFE. Do us the honour!
FIRST ELDER [drinks] Your health! Ah, thatâs good. It runs right through
all oneâs joints. Thatâs what I call proper drink!
The other three Elders do the same. Chief gets out of the oven. Labourer
goes and stands by him.
LABOURER [to Chief] See what will happen now! Iâll trip up the woman
with my foot and sheâll spill the liquor. Formerly he did not grudge his
last crust, but now see what heâll do about a glass of spirits!
PEASANT. Now then, wife, fill again and hand it round in due orderâfirst
to our friend here, then to Daddy Michael.
Wife fills a glass and goes round the table. The Labourer trips her up;
she stumbles and upsets the glass.
WIFE. Gracious goodness, Iâve spilt it! Why do you get in my way,
confound you?
PEASANT [to Wife] There now, what a clumsy beast! Her fingers are all
thumbs, and she goes swearing at others! See what fine stuff she goes
spilling on the ground!
WIFE. I didnât do it on purpose.
PEASANT. On purpose indeed! Wait till I get up; Iâll teach you how to
pour spirits on the ground. [To Labourer] And you too, you confounded
fool, what are you prancing round the table for? Go to the Devil!
Wife again fills and hands the glasses round.
LABOURER [goes back to the oven to the Chief] You see? Formerly he did
not grudge his last crust, and now for a glass of spirits he nearly beat
his wife and sent me to youâto the Devil!
CHIEF. Itâs good, very good! Iâm satisfied.
LABOURER. You wait a bit. Let them empty the bottleâand youâll see what
will happen. Even now they are giving each other smooth oily words;
presently theyâll start flattering each other,âas cunning as foxes.
PEASANT. Well, old friends, whatâs your opinion of my business? My
grandfather has been living with me, and I have been feeding him and
feeding him, and now heâs gone to live with my uncle, and wants to take
his share of the property and give it to uncle! Consider it well; you
are wise men. We could as well do without our own heads as without you.
Thereâs no one in the whole village to come near you. Take you for
example, IvĂĄn FedĂłtitchâdoesnât every one say youâre first among men?
And as for me, Iâll tell you the truth, IvĂĄn FedĂłtitch, Iâm fonder of
you than of my own father or mother. As for Michael StepĂĄnitch, heâs an
old friend.
FIRST ELDER [to Peasant] Itâs good to talk with a good man. Itâs the way
to get wisdom. Itâs just the same with you. One canât find any one to
compare with you either.
SECOND ELDER. Wise and affectionateâthatâs what I like you for.
THIRD ELDER. You have my best sympathy. I canât find words to express
it. I was saying to my old woman only to-day âŠ
FOURTH ELDER. A friend, a real friend!
LABOURER [nudges the Chief] Do you hear? All lies! They abuse one
another behind their backs, but see how thick they are laying it on
now,âlike foxes wagging their tails! And it all comes from that drink.
CHIEF. That drink is good, very good! If they take to lying like that,
theyâll all be ours. Very good; Iâm satisfied!
LABOURER. Wait a bit. When theyâve finished a second bottle it will be
better still!
WIFE [serves] Do have another glass.
FIRST ELDER. Wonât it be too much? Your health! [Drinks] Itâs pleasant
to drink in the company of a good man.
SECOND ELDER. How can one help drinking? Health to the host and hostess!
THIRD ELDER. Friends, your health!
FOURTH ELDER. This is a brew of the right sort! Letâs be merry! Weâll
arrange things for you. âCos it all depends on me!
FIRST ELDER. On you? No, not on you, but on what your seniors say.
FOURTH ELDER. My seniors are greater fools. Go where you came from!
SECOND ELDER. What are you up to now? You fool!
THIRD ELDER. Itâs true what heâs saying! âCos why? The host is not
entertaining us for nothing. He means business. The business can be
arranged. Only you must stand treat! Show us due respect. âCos itâs you
as wants me, and not I you! Youâre own brother to the pig!
PEASANT. And youâre itself! What are you yelling for? Think to surprise
me? You are all good at stuffing yourselves!
FIRST ELDER. What are you giving yourself airs for? See if I donât twist
your nose to one side!
PEASANT. Weâll see whose nose will get twisted!
SECOND ELDER. Think yourself such a marvel? Go to the Devil! I wonât
speak to youâIâll go away!
PEASANT [holds him] What, will you break up the company?
SECOND ELDER. Let me go, or Iâll call for help!
PEASANT. I wonât! What right have you to âŠ?
SECOND ELDER. This right! [Beats him].
PEASANT [to the other Elders] Help me!
They fall on one another, and all speak at once.
FIRST ELDER. Thatâs why. âCos it means weâre all having a spree-ee!
SECOND ELDER. I can arrange everything!
THIRD ELDER. Letâs have some more!
PEASANT [to Wife] Bring another bottle!
All sit round the table again and drink.
LABOURER [to Chief] Have you noticed? The wolfâs blood in them was
aroused, and theyâve turned as fierce as wolves.
CHIEF. The drink is good! Iâm satisfied!
LABOURER. Wait a bit. Let them empty a third bottle. Things will be
better still!
Curtain
.
The scene represents a village street. To the right some old women are
sitting on logs of wood with the Grandfather. In the centre, is a ring
of women, girls, and lads. Dance music is played and they dance. Noise
is heard from the hut, and drunken screams. An old man comes out and
shouts in a tipsy voice. The Peasant follows him and leads him back.
GRANDFATHER. Ah, what doings! what doings! One would think, what more
would any one want than to do his work on week days, and when Sunday
comes round, to have a good wash, clean the harness, and rest a bit and
sit with his family; or go outside and have a talk with the old folk
about matters concerning the Commune. Or, if youâre young, have a game.
There they are playing,âand itâs pleasant to look at them. Itâs all
pleasant and good. [Screams inside the hut] But this sort of thing, what
is it? It only leads men astray, and pleases the Devils. And it all
comes of fat living!
Tipsy men come tumbling out of the hut, shout, and catch hold of the
girls.
GIRLS. Leave off, Daddy Tom! What do you mean by it?
LADS. Letâs go into the lane. Itâs impossible to play here.
Exeunt all who were playing in the ring.
PEASANT [goes up to Grandfather] What have you got now? The Elders will
allot everything to me! [Snaps his fingers at him] Thatâs what youâll
get! So there you are! Itâs all mine and youâve nothing! Theyâll tell
you so themselves!
The four Elders speak all at once.
FIRST ELDER. âCos I know whatâs what!
SECOND ELDER. ââFore all Iâll be heard, âCos Iâm an old bird!â
THIRD ELDER. Friend! dear friend, dearest friend!
FOURTH ELDER. âJog along hut, jog along bed, The missis has nowhere to
lay down her head!â
Now then, come along!
The Elders take each otherâs arms in couples and go off reeling, one
couple following the other. The Peasant turns back to the hut, but
stumbles before he reaches it,âfalls down, and lies muttering
incomprehensible words that sound like grunts. The Grandfather and those
he was with, rise and exeunt.
Enter Labourer and Chief of Devils.
LABOURER. Did you see? Now the swineâs blood has been roused in them,
and from wolves they have turned into swine! [Points to Peasant] There
he lies in the dirt and grunts like a hog!
CHIEF. You have succeeded! First like foxes, then like wolves, and now
like swine! Well, that is a drink! But tell me, how did you make it? I
suppose itâs made of a mixture of foxesâ, wolvesâ, and swineâs blood?
LABOURER. Oh no! I only supplied him with too much corn! As long as he
had only as much corn as he needed, he did not grudge his last crust,
but when he had more than he knew what to do with, the foxâs, the
wolfâs, and the swineâs blood in him awoke. He always had beastâs blood
in him, only it could not get the upper hand.
CHIEF. Well, youâre a fine fellow! Youâve atoned for your crust-blunder.
Now they only need to drink spirits, and theyâre altogether ours!
Curtain
[1] The balalĂĄyka is an instrument (generally three-stringed) used by
Russian peasants, and answering to the negroesâ banjo.