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Title: The First Step
Author: Leo Tolstoy
Date: 1896
Language: en
Topics: non-violence, food
Source: Original text from http://www.revoltlib.com/?id=10488, 2021.
Notes: An 1891 work espousing complete nonviolence, stemming from vegetarianism, this essay was translated in 1909 by Aylmer Maud. Note that there are many "slightly altered" versions of this essay floating around, and it is nearly impossible to guarantee the exactness of this version, as it is not uncommon for an extra sentence to be added or removed depending on the publisher's agenda.

Leo Tolstoy

The First Step

Fasting is an indispensable condition of a good life; but in fasting, as

in self-control in general, the question arises, with what shall we

begin—how to fast, how often to eat, what to eat, what to avoid eating?

And as we can do no work seriously without regarding the necessary order

of sequence, so also we cannot fast without knowing where to begin—with

what to commence self-control in food.

Fasting! And even an analysis of how to fast, and where to begin! The

notion seems ridiculous and wild to the majority of men.

I remember how, with pride at his originality, an Evangelical preacher,

who was attacking monastic asceticism, once said to me "Ours is not a

Christianity of fasting and privations, but of beefsteaks."

Christianity, or virtue in general—and beefsteaks!

During a long period of darkness and lack of all guidance, Pagan or

Christian, so many wild, immoral ideas have made their way into our life

(especially into that lower region of the first steps toward a good

life—our relation to food, to which no one paid any attention), that it

is difficult for us even to understand the audacity and senselessness of

upholding, in our days, Christianity or virtue with beefsteaks.

We are not horrified by this association, solely because a strange thing

has befallen us. We look and see not: listen and hear not. There is no

bad odor, no sound, no monstrosity, to which man cannot become so

accustomed that he ceases to remark what would strike a man unaccustomed

to it. Precisely so it is in the moral region. Christianity and morality

with beefsteaks!

A few days ago I visited the slaughter house in our town of Toula. It is

built on the new and improved system practiced in large towns, with a

view to causing the animals as little suffering as possible. It was on a

Friday, two days before Trinity Sunday. There were many cattle there.

Long before this, when reading that excellent book. The Ethics of Diet,

I had wished to visit a slaughter-house, in order to see with my own

eyes the reality of the question raised when vegetarianism is discussed.

But at first I felt ashamed to do so, as one is always ashamed of going

to look at suffering which one knows is about to take place, but which

one cannot avert, and so I kept putting off my visit.

But a little while ago I met on the road a butcher returning to Toula

after a visit to his home. He is not yet an experienced butcher, and his

duty is to stab with a knife. I asked him whether he did not feel sorry

for the animals that he killed. He gave me the usual answer: "Why should

I feel sorry? It is necessary." But when I told him that eating flesh is

not necessary, but is only a luxury, he agreed; and then he admitted

that he was sorry for the animals.

"But what can I do? I must earn my bread," he said. "At first I was

afraid to kill. My father, he never even killed a chicken in all his

life." The majority of Russians cannot kill; they feel pity, and express

the feeling by the word "fear." This man had also been "afraid," but he

was so no longer. He told me that most of the work was done on Fridays,

when it continues until the evening.

Not long ago I also had a talk with a retired soldier, a butcher, and

he, too, was surprised at my assertion that it was a pity to kill, and

said the usual things about its being ordained; but afterwards he agreed

with me: "Especially when they are quiet, tame cattle. They come, poor

things, trusting you. It is very pitiful."

This is dreadful! Not the suffering and death of the animals, but that

man suppresses in himself, unnecessarily, the highest spiritual

capacity—that of sympathy and pity toward living creatures like

himself—and by violating his own feelings becomes cruel. And how deeply

seated in the human heart is the injunction not to take life!

Once, when walking from Moscow, I was offered a lift by some carters who

were going from Serpouhof to a neighboring forest to fetch wood. It was

the Thursday before Easter. I was seated in the first cart, with a

strong, red, coarse carman, who evidently drank. On entering a village

we saw a well-fed, naked, pink pig being dragged out of the first yard

to be slaughtered. It squealed in a dreadful voice, resembling the

shriek of a man. Just as we were passing they began to kill it. A man

gashed its throat with a knife. The pig squealed still more loudly and

piercingly, broke away from the men, and ran off covered with blood.

Being near-sighted I did not see all the details. I saw only the

human-looking pink body of the pig and heard its desperate squeal; but

the carter saw all the details and watched closely. They caught the pig,

knocked it down, and finished cutting its throat. When its squeals

ceased the carter sighed heavily. "Do men really not have to answer for

such things?" he said.

So strong is man's aversion to all killing. But by example, by

encouraging greediness, by the assertion that God has allowed it, and,

above all, by habit, people entirely lose this natural feeling.

On Friday I decided to go to Toula, and, meeting a meek, kind

acquaintance of mine, I invited him to accompany me.

"Yes, I have heard that the arrangements are good, and have been wishing

to go and see it; but if they are slaughtering I will not go in."

"Why not? That's just what I want to see! If we eat flesh it must be

killed."

"No, no, I cannot!"

It is worth remarking that this man is a sportsman and himself kills

animals and birds.

So we went to the slaughter house. Even at the entrance one noticed the

heavy, disgusting, fetid smell, as of carpenter's glue, or paint on

glue. The nearer we approached, the stronger became the smell. The

building is of red brick, very large, with vaults and high chimneys. We

entered the gates. To the right was a spacious enclosed yard,

three-quarters of an acre in extent—twice a week cattle are driven in

here for sale—and adjoining this enclosure was the porter's lodge. To

the left were the chambers, as they are called—i.e., rooms with arched

entrances, sloping asphalt floors, and contrivances for moving and

hanging up the carcasses. On a bench against the wall of the porter's

lodge were seated half a dozen butchers, in aprons covered with blood,

their tucked-up sleeves disclosing their muscular arms also besmeared

with blood. They had finished their work half an hour before, so that

day we could only see the empty chambers. Though these chambers were

open on both sides, there was an oppressive smell of warm blood; the

floor was brown and shining, with congealed black blood in the cavities.

One of the butchers described the process of slaughtering, and showed us

the place where it was done. I did not quite understand him, and formed

a wrong, but very horrible, idea of the way the animals are slaughtered;

and I fancied that, as is often the case, the reality would very likely

produce upon me a weaker impression than the imagination. But in this I

was mistaken.

The next time I visited the slaughter house I went in good time. It was

the Friday before Trinity—a warm day in June. The smell of glue and

blood was even stronger and more penetrating than on my first visit. The

work was at its height. The duty yard was full of cattle, and animals

had been driven into all the enclosures beside the chambers.

In the street, before the entrance, stood carts to which oxen, calves,

and cows were tied. Other carts drawn by good horses and filled with

live calves, whose heads hung down and swayed about, drew up and were

unloaded; and similar carts containing the carcasses of oxen, with

trembling legs sticking out, with heads and bright red lungs and brown

livers, drove away from the slaughter house. The dealers themselves, in

their long coats, with their whips and knouts in their hands, were

walking about the yard, either marking with tar cattle belonging to the

same owner, or bargaining, or else guiding oxen and bulls from the great

yard into the enclosures which lead into the chambers. These men were

evidently all preoccupied with money matters and calculations, and any

thought as to whether it was right or wrong to kill these animals was as

far from their minds as were questions about the chemical composition of

the blood that covered the floor of the chambers.

No butchers were to be seen in the yard; they were all in the chambers

at work. That day about a hundred head of cattle were slaughtered. I was

on the point of entering one of the chambers, but stopped short at the

door. I stopped both because the chamber was crowded with carcasses

which were being moved about, and also because blood was flowing on the

floor and dripping from above. All the butchers present were besmeared

with blood, and had I entered I, too, should certainly have been covered

with it. One suspended carcass was being taken down, another was being

moved toward the door, a third, a slaughtered ox, was lying with its

white legs raised, while a butcher with strong hand was ripping up its

tight-stretched hide.

Through the door opposite the one at which I was standing, a big, red,

well-fed ox was led in. Two men were dragging it, and hardly had it

entered when I saw a butcher raise a knife above its neck and stab it.

The ox, as if all four legs had suddenly given way, fell heavily upon

its belly, immediately turned over on one side, and began to work its

legs and all its hind-quarters. Another butcher at once threw himself

upon the ox from the side opposite to the twitching legs, caught its

horns and twisted its head down to the ground, while another butcher cut

its throat with a knife. From beneath the head there flowed a stream of

blackish-red blood, which a besmeared boy caught in a tin basin. All the

time this was going on the ox kept incessantly twitching its head as if

trying to get up, and waved its four legs in the air. The basin was

quickly filling, but the ox still lived, and, its stomach heaving

heavily, both hind and fore legs worked so violently that the butchers

held aloof. When one basin was full, the boy carried it away on his head

to the albumen factory, while another boy placed a fresh basin, which

also soon began to fill up. But still the ox heaved its body and worked

its hind legs.

When the blood ceased to flow the butcher raised the animal's head and

began to skin it. The ox continued to writhe. The head, stripped of its

skin, showed red with white veins, and kept the position given it by the

butcher; on both sides hung the skin. Still the animal did not cease to

writhe. Than another butcher caught hold of one of the legs, broke it,

and cut it off. In the remaining legs and the stomach the convulsions

still continued. The other legs were cut off and thrown aside, together

with those of other oxen belonging to the same owner. Then the carcass

was dragged to the hoist and hung up, and the convulsions were over.

Thus I looked on from the door at the second, third, fourth ox. It was

the same with each: the same cutting off of the head with bitten tongue,

and the same convulsed members. The only difference was that the butcher

did not always strike at once so as to cause the animal's fall.

Sometimes he missed his aim, whereupon the ox leaped up, bellowed, and,

covered with blood, tried to escape. But then his head was pulled under

a bar, struck a second time, and he fell.

I afterwards entered by the door at which the oxen were led in. Here I

saw the same thing, only nearer, and therefore more plainly. But chiefly

I saw here, what I had not seen before, how the oxen were forced to

enter this door. Each time an ox was seized in the enclosure and pulled

forward by a rope tied to its horns, the animal, smelling blood, refused

to advance, and sometimes bellowed and drew back. It would have been

beyond the strength of two men to drag it in by force, so one of the

butchers went round each time, grasped the animal's tail and twisted it

so violently that the gristle crackled, and the ox advanced.

When they had finished with the cattle of one owner, they brought in

those of another. The first animal of his next lot was not an ox, but a

bull —a fine, well-bred creature, black, with white spots on its legs,

young, muscular, full of energy. He was dragged forward, but he lowered

his head and resisted sturdily. Then the butcher who followed behind

seized the tail, like an engine-driver grasping the handle of a whistle,

twisted it, the gristle crackled, and the bull rushed forward, upsetting

the men who held the rope. Then it stopped, looking sideways with its

black eyes, the whites of which had filled with blood. But again the

tail crackled, and the bull sprang forward and reached the required

spot. The striker approached, took aim, and struck. But the blow missed

the mark. The bull leaped up, shook his head, bellowed, and, covered

with blood, broke free and rushed back. The men at the doorway all

sprang aside: but the experienced butchers, with the dash of men inured

to danger, quickly caught the rope; again the tail operation was

repeated, and again the bull was in the chamber, where he was dragged

under the bar, from which he did not again escape. The striker quickly

took aim at the spot where the hair divides like a star, and,

notwithstanding the blood, found it, struck, and the fine animal, full

of life, collapsed, its head and legs writhing while it was bled and the

head skinned.

"There, the cursed devil hasn't even fallen the right way!" grumbled the

butcher as he cut the skin from the head.

Five minutes later the head was stuck up, red instead of black, without

skin; the eyes, that had shone with such splendid color five minutes

before, fixed and glassy.

Afterwards I went into the compartment where small animals are

slaughtered—a very large chamber with asphalt floor, and tables with

backs, on which sheep and calves are killed. Here the work was already

finished; in the long room, impregnated with the smell of blood, were

only two butchers. One was blowing into the leg of a dead lamb and

patting the swollen stomach with his hand; the other, a young fellow in

an apron besmeared with blood, was smoking a bent cigarette. There was

no one else in the long, dark chamber, filled with a heavy smell. After

me there entered a man, apparently an ex-soldier, bringing in a young

yearling ram, black with a white mark on its neck, and its legs tied.

This animal he placed upon one of the tables, as if upon a bed. The old

soldier greeted the butchers, with whom he was evidently acquainted, and

began to ask when their master allowed them leave. The fellow with the

cigarette approached with a knife, sharpened it on the edge of the

table, and answered that they were free on holidays. The live ram was

lying as quietly as the dead inflated one, except that it was briskly

wagging its short little tail and its sides were heaving more quickly

than usual. The soldier pressed down its uplifted head gently, without

effort; the butcher, still continuing the conversation, grasped with his

left hand the head of the ram and cut its throat. The ram quivered, and

the little tail stiffened and ceased to wave. The fellow, while waiting

for the blood to flow, began to relight his cigarette, which had gone

out. The blood flowed and the ram began to writhe. The conversation

continued without the slightest interruption. It was horribly revolting.

And how about those hens and chickens which daily, in thousands of

kitchens, with heads cut off and streaming with blood, comically,

dreadfully, flop about, jerking their wings? And see, a kind, refined

lady will devour the carcasses of these animals with full assurance that

she is doing right, at the same time asserting two contradictory

propositions:

First, that she is, as her doctor assures her, so delicate that she

cannot be sustained by vegetable food alone, and that for her feeble

organism flesh is indispensable; and, secondly, that she is so sensitive

that she is unable, not only herself to inflict suffering on animals,

but even to bear the sight of suffering.

Whereas the poor lady is weak precisely because she has been taught to

live upon food unnatural to man; and she cannot avoid causing suffering

to animals — for she eats them.

I only wish to say that for a good life a certain order of good actions

is indispensable; that if a man's aspirations toward right living be

serious they will inevitably follow one definite sequence, and in this

sequence the first thing will be self-control in food — fasting.

And in fasting, if he be really and seriously seeking to live a good

life, the first thing from which he will abstain will always be the use

of animal food, because, to say nothing of the excitation of the

passions caused by such food, its use is simply immoral, as it involves

the performance of an act which is contrary to the moral feeling —

killing;

We cannot pretend that we do not know this. We are not ostriches, and

cannot believe that if we refuse to look at what we do not wish to see,

it will not exist. This is especially the case when what we do not wish

to see is what we wish to eat. If it were really indispensable, or, if

not indispensable, at least in some way useful! But it is quite

unnecessary, and only serves to develop animal feelings, to excite

desire, and to promote fornication and drunkenness. And this is

continually being confirmed by the fact that young, kind, undepraved

people — especially women and girls — without knowing how it logically

follows, feel that virtue is incompatible with beefsteaks, and, as soon

as they wish to be good, give up eating flesh.

"But why, if the wrongfulness of animal food was known to humanity so

long ago, have people not yet come to acknowledge this law?" will be

asked by those who are accustomed to be led by public opinion rather by

reason. The answer to this question is that the moral progress of

humanity - which is the foundation of every other kind of progress - is

always slow; but that the sign of true, not casual, progress is its

uninterruptedness and its continual acceleration.

And the progress of vegetarianism is of this kind. That progress is

expressed in the actual life of mankind, which from many causes is

involuntarily passing more and more from carnivorous habits to vegetable

food, and is also deliberately following the same path in a movement

which shows evident strength, and which is growing larger and larger -

viz. vegetarianism. That movement has during the last ten years advanced

more and more rapidly. More and more books and periodicals on this

subject appear every year; one meets more and more people who have given

up meat; and abroad, especially Germany, England, and America, the

number of vegetarian hotels and restaurants increases year by year.

This movement should cause special joy to those whose life lies in the

effort to bring about the kingdom of God on earth, not because

vegetarianism is in itself an important step towards that kingdom (all

true steps are both important and unimportant), but because it is a sign

that the aspiration of mankind towards moral perfection is serious and

sincere, for it has taken the one unalterable order of succession

natural to it, beginning with the first step.

One cannot fail to rejoice at this, as people could not fail to rejoice

who, after striving to reach the upper story of a house by trying vainly

and at random to climb the walls from different points, should at last

assemble at the first step of the staircase and crowd towards it,

convinced that there can be no way up except by mounting this first step

of stairs.