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Title: Mutual Aid
Author: Dean Spade
Date: 2020
Language: en
Topics: mutual aid

Dean Spade

Mutual Aid

Mutual Aid - Dean Spade

Mutual Aid

Mutual Aid

Building Solidarity During This Crisis (and the Next)

Dean Spade

London • New York

First published by Verso 2020

© Dean Spade 2020 All rights reserved

The moral rights of the author have been asserted

A teaching guide to accompany this book is available online at

http://v.versobooks.com/Mutual_Aid_Teaching_Guide.pdf

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Verso

UK: 6 Meard Street, London W1F 0EG

US: 20 Jay Street, Suite 1010, Brooklyn, NY 11201 versobooks.com

Verso is the imprint of New Left Books ISBN-13: 978-1-83976-212-3

ISBN-13: 978-1-83976-213-0 (UK EBK)

ISBN-13: 978-1-83976-214-7 (US EBK)

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress

Typeset in Sabon MT by Hewer Text UK Ltd, Edinburgh Printed and bound by

CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon CR0 4YY

Contents

Introduction: Crisis Conditions

Require Bold Tactics 1

PART I. WHAT IS MUTUAL AID?

Three Key Elements of Mutual Aid 9

One. Mutual aid projects work to meet survival needs and build shared

understanding about why people

do not have what they need. 9

Two. Mutual aid projects mobilize people, expand solidarity, and build

movements. 12

Three. Mutual aid projects are participatory, solving problems through

collective

action rather than waiting for saviors. 16

Solidarity Not Charity! 21

We Get More When We Demand More 31

PART II. WORKING TOGETHER ON PURPOSE

Some Dangers and Pitfalls of Mutual Aid 45

Deservingness Hierarchies 45

Saviorism and Paternalism 49

Co-optation 50

Characteristics of Mutual Aid vs.

Charity 59

No Masters, No Flakes 65

Group Culture 71

Making Decisions Together 75

Leadership Qualities That Support

Mutuality and Collaboration 98

Handling Money 104

Burnout 107

Conflict 118

Working with Joy 127

Perfectionism 130

Mad Mapping 133

Conclusion: Everything Is at Stake

and We’re Fighting to Win 143

Resource List 149

Introduction

Crisis Conditions Require Bold Tactics

The contemporary political moment is defined by emergency. Acute crises,

like the COVID-19 pandemic and climate change–induced fires, floods, and

storms, as well as the ongoing crises of racist criminalization, brutal

immigration enforcement, endemic gender violence, and severe wealth

inequality, threaten the survival of people around the globe. Government

policies actively produce and exacerbate the harm, inadequately respond

to crises, and ensure that certain populations bear the brunt of

pollution, poverty, disease, and violence. In the face of this, more and

more ordinary people are feeling called to respond in their communities,

creating bold and inno- vative ways to share resources and support

vulnerable neighbors. This survival work, when done in conjunc- tion

with social movements demanding transforma- tive change, is called

mutual aid.

Mutual aid has been a part of all large, powerful social movements, and

it has a particularly important role to play right now, as we face

unprecedented

dangers and opportunities for mobilization. Mutual aid gives people a

way to plug into movements based on their immediate concerns, and it

produces social spaces where people grow new solidarities. At its best,

mutual aid actually produces new ways of living where people get to

create systems of care and gener- osity that address harm and foster

well-being.

This book is about mutual aid: it explains why it is so important, what

it looks like, and how to do it. It provides a grassroots theory of

mutual aid as well as concrete tools for addressing some of the most

diffi- cult questions facing mutual aid groups, such as how to work in

groups and make decisions together, how to prevent and address conflict,

and how to deal with burnout so that we can build a lasting mobilization

that can win.

Left social movements have two big jobs right now. First, we need to

organize to help people survive the devastating conditions unfolding

every day. Second, we need to mobilize hundreds of millions of people

for resistance so we can tackle the underlying causes of these crises.

In this pivotal moment, movements can strengthen, mobilizing new people

to fight back against cops, immigration enforcement, welfare

authorities, landlords, budget cuts, polluters, the defense industry,

prison profiteers, and right-wing groups. The way to tackle these two

big tasks—meet- ing people’s needs and mobilizing them for resist-

ance—is to create mutual aid projects and get lots of people to

participate in them. Social movements that have built power and won

major change have all

included mutual aid, yet it is often a part of move- ment work that is

less visible and less valued. In this moment, our ability to build

mutual aid will deter- mine whether we win the world we long for or dive

further into crisis.

We can imagine what is possible when we come together in this way by

examining the response of Hong Kong’s protest movement to COVID-19. In

2019, a massive anti-government mobilization swept Hong Kong, with

people opposing police and seeking greater control over their lives. By

the time the COVID-19 pandemic emerged, Hong Kong’s chief executive,

Carrie Lam, had an 80 percent disapproval rating. Hong Kong’s protest

movement had escalated significantly, with protesters coordinating

sophisti- cated mass mobilizations, including the use of bold tactics

like fighting police with poles, projectiles, laser pointers, and petrol

bombs. Lam was remarka- bly non-responsive to the pandemic, despite the

vulnerable position of Hong Kong, a densely packed city with a history

of epidemics and a high-speed rail- way connection to Wuhan, where the

COVID-19 pandemic started. Hong Kong residents criticized Lam for her

delay in closing the city’s borders and her order barring city workers

from wearing masks. But, despite the government’s failures, the people

of Hong Kong, mobilized by the protest movement, launched a response

that suppressed the original wave of COVID- 19 and mitigated its

resurgence.

On the day the first COVID-19 case in Hong Kong was confirmed, people

from the protest movement

created a website that tracked cases, monitored hot spots, reported

hospital wait times, and warned about places selling fake personal

protective equipment (PPE). The protesters defied the government’s ban

on masks and countered misinformation from the World Health Organization

discouraging their use. They set up brigades that made and distributed

masks, specially making sure they reached poor people and old people.

They created a system of volunteers to set up hand sani- tizer stations

throughout crowded tenement housing and maintain the supply of sanitizer

at the stations. They also created digital maps to identify the station

sites.

This essential mutual aid work was complemented by bolder strategies.

When the government refused to close the border with China, seven

thousand medical workers, as part of labor unions that had been formed

during the protest movement, went on strike demand- ing PPE and that the

border be closed. Members of the protest movement threatened the

government with stronger action if steps were not taken to address the

epidemic, and explosives were found at the border with China, possibly

for this purpose. The Hong Kong government then created quarantine

centers in dense neighborhoods, but never consulted the people in those

neighborhoods, and the protest movement responded by throwing explosives

into the quarantine centers before they were used, causing the

government to change the location of the facilities to less densely

populated holiday villages.

As a result of these efforts by a mobilized and coor- dinated movement,

and no thanks to the government,

Hong Kong had an immensely successful response to the first wave of

COVID-19. Through the combination of mutual aid and direct action to

force concessions, the protesters did what the government would not do

on its own, saving untold numbers of lives.

This book provides a concrete guide for building mutual aid groups and

networks. Part I explores what mutual aid is, why it is different than

charity, and how it relates to other social movement tactics. Part II

dives into the nitty-gritty of how to work together in mutual aid groups

and how to handle the challenges of group decision-making, conflict, and

burnout. It includes charts and lists that can be brought to group

meetings to stimulate conversation and build shared analysis and group

practices. Ultimately, helps imag- ine how we can coordinate to

collectively take care of ourselves—even in the face of disaster—and

mobilize hundreds of millions of people to make deep and last- ing

change.

PART I

What is Mutual Aid?

Mutual aid is collective coordination to meet each other’s needs,

usually from an awareness that the systems we have in place are not

going to meet them. Those systems, in fact, have often created the

crisis, or are making things worse. We see examples of mutual aid in

every single social movement, whether it’s people raising money for

workers on strike, setting up a ride-sharing system during the

Montgomery Bus Boycott, putting drinking water in the desert for

migrants crossing the border, training each other in emergency medicine

because ambulance response time in poor neighborhoods is too slow,

raising money to pay for abortions for those who can’t afford them, or

coordinating letter-writing to prisoners. These are mutual aid projects.

They directly meet people’s survival needs, and are based on a shared

understand- ing that the conditions in which we are made to live are

unjust.

There is nothing new about mutual aid—people have worked together to

survive for all of human history. But capitalism and colonialism created

structures that have disrupted how people have histor- ically connected

with each other and shared every- thing they needed to survive. As

people were forced into systems of wage labor and private property, and

wealth became increasingly concentrated, our ways of caring for each

other have become more and more tenuous.

Today, many of us live in the most atomized socie- ties in human

history, which makes our lives less secure and undermines our ability to

organize together to change unjust conditions on a large scale. We are

put in competition with each other for survival, and we are forced to

rely on hostile systems—like health care systems designed around profit,

not keep- ing people healthy, or food and transportation systems that

pollute the earth and poison people—for the things we need. More and

more people report that they have no one they can confide in when they

are in trouble. This means many of us do not get help with mental

health, drug use, family violence, or abuse until the police or courts

are involved, which tends to escalate rather than resolve harm.

In this context of social isolation and forced dependency on hostile

systems, mutual aid—where we choose to help each other out, share

things, and put time and resources into caring for the most vulner-

able—is a radical act.

1

Three Key Elements

of Mutual Aid

One. Mutual aid projects work to meet survival needs and build shared

understanding about why people do not have what they need.

Mutual aid projects expose the reality that people do not have what they

need and propose that we can address this injustice together. The most

famous example in the United States is the Black Panther Party’s

survival programs, which ran throughout the 1960s and 1970s, including a

free breakfast program, free ambulance program, free medical clinics, a

service offering rides to elderly people doing errands, and a school

aimed at providing a rigorous liberation curriculum to children. The

Black Panther programs welcomed people into the liberation struggle by

creat- ing spaces where they could meet basic needs and build a shared

analysis about the conditions they were facing. Instead of feeling

ashamed about not being able to feed their kids in a culture that blames

poor people, especially poor Black people, for their poverty,

people attending the Panthers’ free breakfast program got food and a

chance to build shared analysis about Black poverty. It broke stigma and

isolation, met material needs, and got people fired up to work together

for change.

Recognizing the program’s success, FBI director J. Edgar Hoover famously

wrote in a 1969 memo sent to all field offices that “the BCP [Breakfast

for Children Program] represents the best and most influential activity

going for the BPP [Black Panther Party] and, as such, is potentially the

greatest threat to efforts by authorities to neutralize the BPP and

destroy what it stands for.” The night before the Chicago program was

supposed to open, police broke into the church that was hosting it and

urinated on all of the food. The government’s attacks on the Black

Panther Party are evidence of mutual aid’s power, as is the govern-

ment’s co-optation of the program: in the early 1970s the US Department

of Agriculture expanded its federal free breakfast program—built on a

charity, not a liberation, model—that still feeds millions of children

today. The Black Panthers provided a striking vision of liberation,

asserting that Black people had to defend themselves against a violent

and racist government, and that they could organize to give each other

what a racist society withheld.

During the same period, the Young Lords Party undertook similar and

related mutual aid projects in their work toward Puerto Rican

liberation. The Young Lords brought people into the movement by starting

with the everyday needs of Puerto Ricans in

impoverished communities: they protested the lack of garbage pickups in

Puerto Rican neighborhoods, hijacked a city mobile x-ray truck to bring

greater tuberculosis testing to Puerto Rican communities, took over part

of a hospital to provide health care, and provided food and youth

programs for Puerto Rican communities. Their vision—for decolonizing

Puerto Rico and liberating Puerto Ricans in the United States from

racism, poverty, and police terror—was put into practice through mutual

aid.

Throughout the 1960s and ’70s, many overlapping movements undertook

mutual aid efforts, such as femi- nist health clinics and activist-run

abortion providers, emerging volunteer-run gay health clinics, childcare

collectives, tenants’ unions, and community food projects. Although this

moment is an important refer- ence point for the contemporary left,

mutual aid didn’t start in the ’60s, but is an ongoing feature of move-

ments seeking transformative change. Klee Benally, project coordinator

at Indigenous Media Action, argues that mutual aid is an unbroken

tradition among Indigenous people across many cycles of colonialism,

maintained through traditional teachings that contem- porary Indigenous

mutual aid projects are working to restore and amplify. Settlers have

long worked to under- mine Indigenous people’s self-sustaining practices

by first destroying food systems and then forcing depend- ency on

rations given at forts and missions and, now, by settler nonprofits.

Indigenous mutual aid efforts are both a matter of survival and a

powerful form of resist- ance to forced dependence on settler systems.

The long tradition of mutual aid societies and other forms of

“self-help” in Black communities, which, as early as the 1780s sought to

pool resources to provide health and life insurance, care for the sick,

aid for burials, support for widows and orphans, and public education

efforts, is another important exam- ple. These efforts have addressed

Black exclusion from white infrastructures by creating Black alterna-

tives. Long traditions of mutual aid are also visible in working-class

communities that have long supported workers on strike so that they

could pay rent and buy food while confronting their bosses. Perhaps most

of all, the pervasive presence of mutual aid during sudden disasters of

all kinds—storms, floods, fires, and earthquakes—demonstrates how people

come together to care for each other and share resources when,

inevitably, the government is not there to help, offers relief that does

not reach the most vulnerable people, and deploys law enforcement

against displaced disaster survivors. Mutual aid is a powerful force.

Two. Mutual aid projects mobilize people, expand solidarity, and build

movements.

Mutual aid is essential to building social movements. People often come

to social movement groups because they need something: eviction defense,

childcare, social connection, health care, or help in a fight with the

government about something like welfare benefits, disability services,

immigration status, or custody of their children. Being able to get help

in a crisis is often

a condition for being politically active, because it’s very difficult to

organize when you are also struggling to survive. Getting support

through a mutual aid project that has a political analysis of the

conditions that produced your crisis also helps to break stigma, shame,

and isolation. Under capitalism, social prob- lems resulting from

exploitation and the maldistribu- tion of resources are understood as

individual moral failings, not systemic problems. Getting support at a

place that sees the systems, not the people suffering in them, as the

problem can help people move from shame to anger and defiance. Mutual

aid exposes the failures of the current system and shows an alternative.

This work is based in a belief that those on the front lines of a crisis

have the best wisdom to solve the problems, and that collective action

is the way forward.

Mutual aid projects also build solidarity. I have seen this at the

Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP), a law collective that provides free

legal help to trans and gender-nonconforming people who are low income

and/or people of color. I worked with the group from 2002 to 2019. Again

and again I saw people come to SRLP for help because something bad

happened to them in a shelter, in prison, or in interac- tions with

cops, immigration authorities, the foster care system, or public

schools. People seeking legal services for these problems would be

invited to partic- ipate in organizing and become part of SRLP, work-

ing on changing the conditions that had brought them to the group. As

people joined, things were often bumpy. Members may have had some things

in

common—being trans or gender-nonconforming, for example—but also

differed from one another in terms of race, immigration status, ability,

HIV status, age, housing access, sexual orientation, language, and more.

By working together and participating in shared political education

programs, members could learn about experiences different from theirs

and build solidarity across those differences. This changed—and

continues to change—not only the individuals in the group, but the kind

of politics the group practices.

Solidarity is what builds and connects large-scale movements. In the

context of professionalized nonprofit organizations, groups are urged to

be single-issue oriented, framing their message around “deserving”

people within the population they serve, and using tactics palatable to

elites. Prison-oriented groups are supposed to fight only for “the

innocent” or “the nonviolent,” for example, and to do their work by

lobbying politicians about how some people—not all people—don’t belong

in prison. This is the opposite of solidarity, because it means the most

vulnerable people are left behind: those who were up-charged by cops and

prosecutors, those who do not have the means to prove their innocence,

those who do not match cultural tropes of innocence and deservingness.

This narrow focus actually strengthens the system’s legitimacy by

advocating that the target- ing of those more stigmatized people is

okay.

This pattern of anti-solidarity incentives and prac-

tices has been devastating for movements as

nonprofitization has taken hold, as I’ll discuss further in the next

chapter. Solidarity across issues and popu- lations is what makes

movements big and powerful. Without that connection, we end up with

discon- nected groups, working in their issue silos, undermin- ing each

other, competing for attention and funding, not backing each other up

and not building power. Mutual aid projects, by creating spaces where

people come together on the basis of some shared need or concern in

spite of their different lived experience, cultivate solidarity.

Groups doing mutual aid to directly address real problems in real

people’s lives tend to develop a multi- issue and solidarity-based

approach because their members’ lives are cross-cut by many different

experi- ences of vulnerability. Sometimes even groups that start out

with a narrow goal adopt a wider horizon of solidarity and a wider

vision of political possibility if they use the mutual aid model. An

initial goal of serv- ing people impacted by homelessness quickly

reveals that racism, colonialism, immigration enforcement, ableism,

police violence, the foster care system, the health care system,

transphobia, and more are all causes of homelessness or causes of

further harm to homeless people. Solidarity and an ever-expanding

commitment to justice emerge from contact with the complex realities of

injustice. This is exactly how movements are built, as people become

connected to each other and as one urgent issue unspools into a broader

vision of social transformation.

Three. Mutual aid projects are participatory, solving problems through

collective action rather than wait- ing for saviors.

Mutual aid projects help people develop skills for collaboration,

participation, and decision-making. For example, people engaged in a

project to help one another through housing court proceedings will learn

the details of how the system harms people and how to fight it, but they

will also learn about meeting facilitation, working across differences,

retaining volunteers, addressing conflict, giving and receiving

feedback, following through, and coordinating sched- ules and

transportation. They may also learn that it is not just lawyers who can

do this kind of work, and that many people—including themselves!—have

something to offer. This departs from expertise-based social services

that tell us we need to have a social worker, licensed therapist,

lawyer, or some other person with an advanced degree to get things done.

Mutual aid is inherently antiauthoritarian, demon- strating how we can

do things together in ways we were told not to imagine, and that we can

organize human activity without coercion. Most people have never been to

a meeting where there was not a boss or authority figure with

decision-making power. Most people work or go to school inside

hierarchies where disobedience leads to punishment or exclusion. We

bring our learned practices of hierarchy with us even when no paycheck

or punishment enforces our partic- ipation, so even in volunteer groups

we often find

ourselves in conflicts stemming from learned domi- nance behaviors. But

collective spaces, like mutual aid organizing, can give us opportunities

to unlearn conditioning and build new skills and capacities. By

participating in groups in new ways and practicing new ways of being

together, we are both building the world we want and becoming the kind

of people who could live in such a world together.

For example, in the Occupy encampments that emerged in 2011 to protest

economic inequality, people shared ideas about how to resolve conflict

without calling the police. Occupy brought out many people who had never

participated in political resist- ance before, introducing them to

practices like consensus decision-making, occupying public space,

distributing free food, and engaging in free political education

workshops. Many who joined Occupy did not yet have a developed critique

of policing. Participants committed to police abolition and anti- racism

cultivated conversations about why activists should not call the police

on each other. This process was inconsistent and imperfect, but it

introduced many people to new skills and ideas that they took with them,

long after Occupy encampments were dismantled by the police.

Mutual aid can also generate boldness and a will- ingness to defy

illegitimate authority. Taking risks with a group for a shared purpose

can be a reparative experience when we have been trained to follow

rules. Organizers from Mutual Aid Disaster Relief (MADR) share the

following story in their 2018 workshop

facilitation guide to illustrate their argument that “audacity is our

capacity”:

When a crew of MADR organizers [after Hurricane Maria] travelled to

Puerto Rico (some visiting their families, others bringing medical

skills), they found out about a government warehouse that was neglect-

ing to distribute huge stockpiles of supplies. They showed their MADR

badges to the guards and said, “We are here for the 8am pickup.” When

guards replied that their names were not on the list, they just insisted

again, “We are here for the 8am pickup.” They were eventually allowed

in, told to take what- ever they needed. After being let in once, aid

work- ers were able to return repeatedly. They made more badges for

local organizers, and this source contin- ued to benefit local

communities for months.

MADR asserts that by taking bold actions together, “we can imagine new

ways of interacting with the world.” When dominant ways of living have

been suspended, people discover that they can break norms—and even

laws—that enable individualism, passivity, and respect for private

property. MADR asserts that “saving lives, homes, and communities in the

event and aftermath of disaster may require taking bold action without

waiting for permission from authorities. Disaster survivors themselves

are the most important authority on just action.”

Mutual aid projects providing relief to survivors of storms, floods,

earthquakes, and fires, as well as those

developed to support people living through the crises caused by poverty,

racism, criminalization, gender violence, and other “ordinary”

conditions, produce new systems that can prevent harm and improve

preparedness for the coming disasters. When Hurricane Maria devastated

Puerto Rico in 2017, it was the exist- ence of food justice efforts that

made it possible for many people to eat when the corporate food system,

which brings 90 percent of the island’s food from off- island sources,

was halted by the storm. Similarly, it was local solar panels that

allowed people to charge medical devices when the electrical grid went

down.

By looking at what still works in the face of disas- ter, we can learn

what we want to build to prepare for the next storm or fire. In The

Battle for Paradise, Naomi Klein argues that locally controlled micro-

grids are more desirable for delivering sustainable energy, given the

failures of the energy monopolies that currently dominate energy

delivery. In the wake of the devastating 2018 California fires, the

public learned that the fires were caused by Pacific Gas and Electric

Company’s mismanagement, and then watched as California’s government

immediately offered the company a bailout, meanwhile failing to support

people displaced by the disaster. Klein describes how large energy

companies work to prevent local and sustainable energy efforts, and

argues that in energy, as in other areas of survival, we should be

working toward locally controlled, participatory, transparent structures

to replace our crumbling and harmful infrastructure.

Doing so helps us imagine getting rid of the undemocratic infrastructure

of our lives—the extrac- tive and unjust energy, food, health care, and

trans- portation systems—and replacing it with people’s infrastructure.

For social movements working to imagine and build a transition from

“dig, burn, dump” economies to sustainable, regenerative ways of living,

mutual aid offers a way forward.

2

Solidarity Not Charity!

Mainstream understanding of how to support people in crisis relies on

the frameworks of charity and social services. We should be very clear:

mutual aid is not charity. Charity, aid, relief, and social services are

terms that usually refer to rich people or the govern- ment making

decisions about the provision of some kind of support to poor

people—that is, rich people or the government deciding who gets the

help, what the limits are to that help, and what strings are attached.

You can be sure that help like that is not designed to get to the root

causes of poverty and violence. It is designed to help improve the image

of the elites who are funding it and put a tiny, inadequate Band-Aid on

the massive social wound that their greed creates.

The charity model we live with today has origins in

Christian European practices of the wealthy giving alms to the poor to

buy their own way into heaven. It is based on a moral hierarchy of

wealth—the idea that rich people are inherently better and more moral

than poor people, which is why they deserve to be on top. Not

surprisingly, the charity model promotes the

idea that most poverty is a result of laziness or immo- rality and that

only the poor people who can prove their moral worth deserve help.

Contemporary charity comes with eligibility requirements such as

sobriety, piety, curfews, partici- pation in job training or parenting

courses, coopera- tion with the police, a lawful immigration status, or

identifying the paternity of children. In charity programs, social

workers, health care providers, teachers, clergy, lawyers, and

government workers determine which poor people deserve help. Their

methods of deciding who is deserving, and even the rules they enforce,

usually promote racist and sexist tropes, such as the idea that poor

women of color and immigrant women have too many children, or that Black

families are dysfunctional, or that Indigenous children are better off

separated from their families and communities, or that people are poor

because of drug use.

We can see examples in government policy, like the Temporary Assistance

to Needy Families programs (TANF), which impose “family caps” in

fourteen states. These laws restrict poor families from receiv- ing

additional benefits when they have a new child. For example, in

Massachusetts, a single parent with two children receives a measly $578

in TANF benefits each month. But if a second child is born while the

family is already receiving TANF, that child is ineligi- ble, and the

family receives $100 less per month, for a grant of $478. This policy

emerges from the racist, sexist idea that poor women, especially women

of

color and immigrant women, should be discouraged from having children,

and the faulty assumption that their poverty is somehow a result of

being overly reproductive. We can also see harmful, moralizing

eligibility requirements when people have to prove they are sober or

under psychiatric care to qualify for housing programs.

Charity programs, both those run by the govern- ment and those run by

nonprofits, are also set up in ways that make it stigmatizing and

miserable to receive help. The humiliation and degradation of doing

required work assignments to get benefits too small to live off of, or

answering endless personal questions that treat the recipient like a

fraud and a crook, are designed to make sure that people will accept any

work at any exploitative wage or condition to avoid relying on public

benefits. Charity makes rich people and corpo- rations look generous

while upholding and legitimiz- ing the systems that concentrate wealth.

Charity is increasingly privatized and contracted out to the massive

nonprofit sector, which benefits rich people more than poor people in

two big ways. First, elite donors get to run the show. They decide what

gets funded and what doesn’t. Nonprofits compete to show that they are

the best organization to win a grant. To win, nonprofits want to make

their work look legitimate to the funder, which means working according

to the funder’s beliefs about the causes of and solutions for a

particular problem rather than challenging those beliefs. For example,

the funder may favor nonprofits that make sobriety a

condition of receiving a spot in a homeless shelter, because rich people

would rather believe that home- lessness is caused by poor people’s drug

use than that it is caused by a capitalist housing market. To win

grants, nonprofits also seek to make themselves look “successful” and

“impactful,” regardless of whether their work is actually getting to the

root causes of the problem. For example, social service nonprofits will

often claim they have worked with large numbers of people, even though

most of those people did not become less vulnerable or get what they

needed from their contact with the nonprofit. Similarly, homeless- ness

service groups sometimes claim that they reduced shelter use, but the

people who stopped using the shelter are still unhoused and simply not

using the shelter for various reasons.

In this way, poverty-focused and homelessness- focused nonprofits are

essentially encouraged to merely manage poor people: provide limited and

conditional access to prison-like shelters and make people take

budgeting classes or prove their sobriety. They do not do the more

threatening and effective work that grassroots mutual aid groups do for

hous- ing justice, like defending encampments against raids, providing

immediate no-strings health care and food to poor and unhoused people,

fighting real estate developers, slumlords, and gentrification, or

fighting for and providing access to actual long-term housing. Rich

people’s control of nonprofit funding keeps nonprofits from doing work

that is threatening to the status quo, or from admitting the limits of

their

strategies. In worst-case scenarios, nonprofits are integrated into

programs that make vulnerable people even more vulnerable. An example of

this is the Homeless Management Information System, a federal

computerized information management tool that requires homeless services

and charities to record the names and information of their clients in

order to receive federal aid, putting criminalized and undocu- mented

people at further risk.

Second, the nonprofit system creates a tax shelter for rich people. They

can put a bunch of their money in a charitable foundation, allowing them

to avoid paying taxes on it and instead getting to direct it to their

favorite pet projects. Most foundation money goes to things the board

members and executive direc- tors (who, in the case of US foundations,

are over 90 percent white) value, such as their alma maters, the opera,

and museums. Foundations are not even required to give much of their

wealth away: they give out only 5 percent a year and still reap the

benefits of a tax haven for their money and the social cachet of being a

philanthropist. And that 5 percent can also be used to pay their friends

and family hundreds of thousands of dollars per year to be “trustees” of

their foundation.

The creation of the nonprofit sector that has ballooned in the last

half-century was a direct response to the threat posed by mass mutual

aid work in anti-racist, anti-colonial and feminist movements of the

1960s and ’70s. Nonprofitization was designed to demobilize us,

legitimizing unjust systems and

hiding the reality that real change comes from move- ments made of

millions of ordinary people, not small groups of paid professionals.

These days, the nonprof- its that purport to address poverty are mostly

run by white elites. The idea promoted by nonprofits and universities is

that people with advanced degrees are best suited to figure out the

solutions to social prob- lems. It mystifies the causes of poverty,

making it seem like some kind of mysterious math problem that only

people with advanced degrees can figure out. But any poor person knows

that poverty is caused by the greed of their bosses, landlords, and

health insurance companies, by systems of white supremacy and colo-

nialism, and by wars and forced migrations. Elite solutions to poverty

are always about managing poor people and never about redistributing

wealth.

The nonprofit sector not only fails to fix injustice but also replicates

it within the groups themselves. Nonprofits are usually run like

businesses, with a boss (executive director) at the top deciding things

for the people underneath. Nonprofits have the same kinds of problems as

other businesses that rely on hierarchical models: drastically unequal

pay, race and gender wage gaps, sexual harassment in the workplace,

exploita- tion of workers, and burnout. Despite the fact that they pitch

themselves as the solution for fixing the problems of the current

system, nonprofits mostly replicate, legitimize, and stabilize that

system.

One way the charity model is manifested is in the idea of “having a

cause.” Celebrities and philanthro- pists show us that picking an issue

to care about and

giving or raising money for it is part of their brand, in a similar vein

as their fashion choices. This idea of a charitable cause that is

disconnected from other aspects of life keeps us in our places. We are

encour- aged to be mostly numbed-out consumers, but ones who perhaps

volunteer at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving, post videos about animal

rights on our social media accounts, or wear a T-shirt with a femi- nist

slogan now and again. Only those few experts or specialists who work in

nonprofits are supposed to make concern for justice a larger part of

their lives by turning it into a career, but even they are supposed to

still be obedient consumers.

The false separation of politics and injustice from ordinary life—and

the idea that activism is a kind of lifestyle accessory—is demobilizing

to our movements, hides the root causes of injustice, and keeps us

passive and complicit. Robust social movements offer an oppos- ing view.

We argue that all the aspects of our lives— where and how we live and

work, eat, entertain ourselves, get around, and get by are sites of

injustice and potential resistance. At our best, social movements create

vibrant social networks in which we not only do work in a group, but

also have friendships, make art, have sex, mentor and parent kids, feed

ourselves and each other, build radical land and housing experiments,

and inspire each other about how we can cultivate liber- ation in all

aspects of our lives. Activism and mutual aid shouldn’t feel like

volunteering or like a hobby—it should feel like living in alignment

with our hopes for the world and with our passions. It should enliven

us.

The charity model encourages us to feel good about ourselves by “giving

back.” Convincing us that we have done enough if we do a little

volunteering or posting online is a great way to keep us in our place.

Keeping people numb to the suffering in the world— and their own

suffering—is essential to keeping things as they are. In fact, things

are really terrifying and enraging right now, and feeling more rage,

fear, sadness, grief, and despair may be appropriate. Those feelings may

help us be less appeased by false solu- tions, and stir us to pursue

ongoing collective action for change.

That doesn’t mean that mutual aid work never feels good. In fact, it is

often deeply satisfying and connective, creating caring relationships,

raucous celebrations, and an enduring sense of purpose. In my

experience, it is more engagement that actually enliv- ens us—more

curiosity, more willingness to see the harm that surrounds us, and ask

how we can relate to it differently. Being more engaged with the complex

and painful realities we face, and with thoughtful, committed action

alongside others for justice, feels much better than numbing out or

making token, self- consoling charity gestures. It feels good to let our

values guide every part of our lives.

Mutual aid projects, in many ways, are defined in opposition to the

charity model and its current itera- tion in the nonprofit sector.

Mutual aid projects mobilize lots of people rather than a few experts;

resist the use of eligibility criteria that cut out more stigmatized

people; are an integrated part of our lives

rather than a pet cause; and cultivate a shared analy- sis of the root

causes of the problem and connect people to social movements that can

address these causes. Part II of this book focuses on how we can build

our mutual aid groups in ways that can most successfully accomplish

these goals, avoiding the pitfalls of the charity model and the learned

hierar- chical behaviors that can reproduce injustice even in activist

group settings.

What we build now, and whether we can sustain it, will determine how

prepared we are for the next pandemic, the climate-induced disasters to

come, the ongoing disasters of white supremacy and capitalism, and the

beautifully disruptive rebellions that will transform them.

3

We Get More When We Demand More

Disasters are ruptures—existing systems break down and then are either

repaired, replaced, or scrapped. Disasters exacerbate and expose

inequalities, show- ing the preexisting crises that elites strive to

ignore and hide from view. When disasters emerge, govern- ments and

corporations quickly move to downplay them, hoping to get back to the

status quo of extrac- tion and profit-making as soon as possible, to

take credit for having resolved them, and to silence demands for relief.

Governments and the 1 percent also use disasters as opportunities to

push their favored reforms. COVID-19, for example, has gener- ated

right-wing wins like closing the border; suspend- ing environmental

regulations; giving the FBI, DEA, and local police hundreds of millions

of dollars; and expanding the capacity of police to harass and crimi-

nalize the poor for allegedly violating public health regulations.

At the same time, disasters are opportunities for exposing injustice and

pushing forward left-wing

demands. COVID-19 has also been an opportunity for mobilizing people to

resist injustice. As more people are laid off or forced to work

dangerous jobs, we are increasingly standing together against land-

lords, bosses, police, prisons, and a profit-driven health care system.

In seeking to curb the worst effects of the pandemic, some forms of

government relief have emerged that give us hope for another way of

life: eviction moratoriums, increased unemployment benefits and income

support, free public transit, suspension of student loan payments, and

more. While this relief has been far from universal or adequate, it has

demonstrated that many of the things our movements have fought for are

entirely possible.

Disasters are pivotal times in the competition between political

programs, moments when much can be lost or won. Winning the world we

want is far from guaranteed. Our opponents, those who currently control

the most of the land, work, food, housing, transportation, weapons,

water, energy, and media, are feverishly working to maintain the status

quo of maldistribution and targeted violence, and worsen it to increase

profits and power for themselves. Our capacity to win is possible to the

extent that we can collectively realize what they do not control—us— and

collectively disobey and disrupt their systems, retaking control of our

ways of sustaining life. If we want as many people as possible to

survive, and to win in the short and long term, we have to use moments

of disaster to help and mobilize people. Mutual aid is the way to do

that. During the

COVID-19 pandemic, mutual aid groups have prolif- erated and more people

are learning how to organize mutual aid than have in decades. This is a

big chance for us to make a lot of change.

We need mutual aid groups and networks capable of bringing millions of

new people into work that deepens their understanding of the root causes

of the crises and inequalities they are fired up about and that builds

their capacity for bold collective action. We need groups and networks

that do not disappear after the peak of the crisis, but instead become

part of an ongoing, sustained mobilization with the capac- ity to

support people and keep building pressure for bigger wins.

As mobilization builds, governments, corpora- tions, and corporate media

will approach mutual aid in three ways, all of which, as I write this,

are already visible in regard to the COVID-19 pandemic. These three

responses often happen simultaneously, among different agencies, elected

officials, and levels of government: Some will ignore proliferating

mutual aid efforts. Some will try to fold them into a narrative about

volunteerism, labeling mutual aid efforts “heroic” and portraying them

as complementary to government efforts and existing systems rather than

as oppositional to those systems. And some police and spy agencies will

surveil and criminalize mutual aid efforts.

This was visible in the response to Hurricane Sandy in 2012. Occupy

Sandy, a volunteer-based mutual aid network that emerged from Occupy

Wall Street,

organized over sixty thousand volunteers to provide food, water,

medicine, and other necessities to people left without power and in dire

conditions by a govern- ment utterly unprepared to help them. The

Department of Homeland Security extended its spying from Occupy Wall

Street to Occupy Sandy at the same time that some New York City

government agencies helped Occupy Sandy get supplies to redis- tribute.

Governor Andrew Cuomo and New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg mostly

ignored Occupy Sandy’s frontline work as they focused on managing their

own reputations.

The fundamental goal of all three of these responses is to ensure the

legitimacy and stability of the current systems and delegitimize

alternative ways of meeting human needs. At best, mutual aid projects

get framed as non-threatening temporary adjuncts to existing systems.

Elected officials and government agencies sometimes even seek legitimacy

by associat- ing themselves with mutual aid projects if those projects

are more successful at meeting needs than the government. At worst,

mutual aid projects are portrayed as unlawful, dangerous, and criminal.

As we saw with the police attacks on the Black Panther Party breakfast

programs, or more recent Trump administration raids on the medical camps

of No More Deaths (which offers support to migrants at the southern US

border), when mutual aid efforts truly build and legitimize coordinated

action and auton- omy against existing systems, governments typically

crack down on them.

The criminalization of mutual aid work has been ongoing throughout

social movement history precisely because mutual aid directly confronts

unjust systems and offer alternatives. Groups doing frontline mutual aid

work that is particularly risky today, such as those helping with access

to abortion drugs or procedures illegal in the jurisdiction where they

are working, providing clean needles and safe consumption spaces to drug

users where that is illegal, supporting the well-being of people in the

criminalized sex trades, and helping homeless people occupy vacant

homes, have useful knowledge and experience for all of us about

navigating safety risks. Studying those groups’ experiences and methods

for evading and/or confront- ing police, securing electronic

communications, and sheltering the most vulnerable people from exposure

can benefit all mutual aid groups as we prepare for our work to

(hopefully) become threatening to the status quo.

In the face of increased mobilization and resist- ance—as with the

rebellion against racist police violence in the summer of 2020—or

fearing another destabilizing disaster, governments and the corpora-

tions they represent will sometimes grant conces- sions, many of which

look similar to what mutual aid projects provide. In moments of deep

social and economic turmoil—such as during COVID-19— governments expand

income support, usually in the form of welfare benefits, unemployment

benefits, or a one-time stimulus check. But government aid can also take

the form of legalizing squatted property,

providing mobile clinics, offering meals at public schools, creating

restorative justice programs, creat- ing resources for people being

released from prison, and more. Concessions like these, where the

govern- ment provides something previously only offered by mutual aid

groups, can be celebrated as limited victo- ries by movements: Our

organizing was so strong they had to co-opt us! These concessions might

also provide vital support to many more people than mutual aid groups

can reach, as with the USDA’s free breakfast program in schools, which

fed more chil- dren than the Black Panther Party breakfast program that

prompted its expansion.

However, it’s crucial to remember that these concessions are necessarily

limited. First, they can be shrunk or taken back whenever the moment of

insta- bility passes. This has been the historical pattern for poor

relief in the United States: it gets expanded during a crisis, and then

contracted and stigmatized as soon as the crisis has lessened, quickly

making people once again desperate and exploitable by their employers.

Second, while government provisions sometimes reach more people than

local mutual aid can, they usually exclude particularly vulnerable

people, like people who are criminalized, working in underground

economies, homeless, or undocumented. The welfare and income support

programs in the United States, ranging from old age and disability

benefits to support for families in poverty, are consist- ently designed

to ensure that women, people of color, and Indigenous people get left

out or get less. For

example, the New Deal, which emerged to quiet the anti-capitalist

rebellions brought on by the Great Depression and stabilize the

capitalist system, was designed so that women and domestic and agricul-

tural workers (disproportionately Black and Latinx) were excluded from

the benefits created. By tying many benefits to work, the New Deal also

perpetu- ated a status quo of grinding poverty for people with

disabilities.

Whenever we rely on a capitalist, imperialist system to provide vital

necessities, we can guess that the provisions will be fragile and

inadequate, and designed to transfer far more wealth toward the popu-

lations those systems were designed to support: white people, rich

people, straight people, and men. Often, the concessions are never

delivered at all, only prom- ised in an effort to quell resistance.

One pattern that is clear in regard to concessions is that, because the

aim of elites is to concede as little as possible and maintain the

status quo as much as possi- ble, we get more when we demand more and

build bolder, bigger pressure. It took mass movements threat- ening

capitalism’s very existence, like those seen during the Great Depression

and the 1960s uprisings against racism, just to get stigmatizing,

ungenerous welfare benefits. Decades of uprisings against police

brutality yielded only surface police reforms, many of which expanded

police budgets and numbers. Even unsatisfy- ing concessions, in other

words, only come with big, sustained, disruptive mobilizations.

Nonprofit leaders and politicians frequently encourage “pragmatism”

and peaceful incremental change, but the most radical imagination of

what we want, and the escalation of direct action to get it, is what is

truly pragmatic if we seek to win real change. Concessions won in

crises— crises of sudden disaster and crises created by powerful social

protest—will be as strong and lasting as the mobilizations that made

them necessary. Elites and their nonprofit gatekeepers encourage us to

make small, “reasonable,” or “winnable” demands, and they try to

redirect our action to official channels that are non-disruptive, with

narratives about “peaceful protest” and “coming to the table.” They

encourage reforms premised on the assumption that the systems we seek to

dismantle are fundamentally fair and fixa- ble. We have to refuse to

limit our visions to the conces- sions they want to give—what we want is

a radically different world that eliminates the systems that put our

lives under their control.

If concessions are signs of our impact, at best providing some relief to

some people but ultimately stabilizing existing systems, what would

winning look like? As we build mutual aid groups, what do we hope for if

not that the government, instead of us, will someday provide what we are

providing? If our current systems are based on illegitimate authority

and use coercion and violence to keep us tied to them, and if those

systems primarily pursue the aim of concentrating wealth and

decision-making power, what is the alternative?

From our current vantage point, living in a world with the most

militarized borders, the most expansive

surveillance technologies, the most severe concentra- tion of wealth,

the most imprisonment in human history, the most military bases and

high-tech weap- ons, and the most advanced mechanisms of propa- ganda,

it can be hard to imagine other ways of living. Disasters often

stimulate fantasies of a benevolent government as we face brutal

government failure and wish that things were different.

Part of the reason our dream of a savior govern- ment is so compelling

is that it is hard for us to imag- ine a world where we meet core human

needs through systems that are based on principles of collective

self-determination rather than coercion. We are accustomed to a

situation where the choice is between a government that either denies

the disas- ter’s significance and abandons people to its devas- tations

or a government that responds with inade- quate aid that comes with

enhanced policing, surveillance, militarization, and wealth transfers to

the top. This is no choice at all. Because of how capi- talism controls

the means for getting by—food, health, housing, communications,

transportation— and how dependent we are on systems we do not control,

it can be hard to imagine that we could survive another way. But for

most of human history, we did, and mutual aid projects let us relearn

that it’s possible and emancipatory.

Mutual aid projects let us practice meeting our own and each other’s

needs, based in shared commit- ments to dignity, care, and justice. They

let us practice coordinating our actions together with the belief that

all of us matter and that we should all get to partici- pate in the

solutions to our problems. They let us real- ize that we know best how

to address the crises we face. We don’t need to be saved by

professionals, government agents, or people elites consider “experts.”

Mutual aid cultivates the practices and structures that move us toward

our goal: a society organized by collective self-determination, where

people get a say in all parts of their lives rather than just facing the

coercive non-choice between sinking or swimming; between joining a

brutal and exploitive workforce, insurance scheme, or housing market, or

risk being left in the cold.

How do we imagine “scaling up” mutual aid to a point where everyone has

what they need, and gets to meaningfully co-govern and co-steward the

structures and conditions of their lives? Because of the domi- nance of

corporate and nonprofit models, people often think that “scaling up”

means centralizing and standardizing projects, but this runs directly

counter to the wisdom of mutual aid. “Scaling up” doesn’t mean making

groups bigger or merging them into one organization across a region,

state, or country. Locally operated mutual aid works better for meeting

people’s needs in all kinds of situations, including disasters, because

our needs are best met by those with the most local knowledge, and when

we are the ones making the decisions affecting us. Scaling up our mutual

aid work means building more and more mutual aid groups, copying each

other’s best practices, and adapting them to work for particular

neighborhoods,

subcultures, and enclaves. It means intergroup coordi- nation, the

sharing of resources and information, having each other’s backs, and

coming together in coalitions to take bigger actions like rent strikes,

labor strikes, or the toppling of corrupt governments and industries.

Factory takeovers, where workers push out owners and take control of the

factory, deciding together how it will run and making fair systems for

all, are good examples of this type of shift: a labor strike that

becomes a factory takeover is “scaling up.” Similarly, we might imagine

people working to create local energy grids using solar power. The grids

would be cultivated and cared for by the people using them, but they

might be sharing practices and resources with other groups building and

maintaining local grids. Governance and innovation remain local, but

knowledge, support, and solidarity are networked and shared.

To imagine a society where we share everything, co-govern everything,

have everything we need and don’t rely on coercion and domination, we

have to shed the capitalist propaganda that tells us people are

naturally greedy, and that without police keeping us in our places we

would all hoard and harm. Instead, we can notice, as is particularly

clear in times of disaster, that people are naturally connective and

generous, though we often have cultural baggage to shed from being

conditioned by white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism. Again and

again we see people sharing what little they have after storms, floods,

and fires, saving each other. Through mutual

aid projects, many of us get a chance to deepen those practices of

generosity, and make them long-term support systems that we co-govern to

help us all survive and mobilize for change.

Mutual aid is only one tactic in the social move- ment ecosystem. It

operates alongside direct action, political education, and many other

tactics. But it is the one that most successfully helps us grow our

movements and build our people power, because it brings people into

coordinated action to change things right now. As mutual aid expands in

the context of the COVID-19 crisis, in climate change– caused disaster

zones, and during economic crises, we have a chance to cultivate

millions of new resistance fighters, to teach ourselves to work together

in long- term ways, and to develop our ability to practice soli-

darity-based co-stewardship in all areas of collective life. The climate

crisis will continue to bring worsen- ing disasters into our communities

in the coming years and decades. The stronger we build our networks of

mutual aid now, the more prepared we will be to help each other survive

those disasters and transform our ways of living together toward

liberation.

PART II

Working Together

on Purpose

Mutual aid work is important for meeting people’s survival needs right

now, and for mobilizing hundreds of millions of people to join struggles

for justice and liberation. Most people newly fired up about injustice

are eager to work on the conditions happening to them or to people they

care about. Mutual aid projects are the on-ramp for people to get to

work right away on things they feel urgent about, plug into social move-

ments where they can learn more about things they are not yet mad about,

and build new solidarities.

This section of this book is for people who want to start mutual aid

projects or who are already in them and want to intentionally build

group cultures and structures that will help the work flourish. Chapter

4 describes some of the larger political pitfalls of mutual aid groups,

and chapter 5 turns to the nitty- gritty, providing tools for addressing

common obsta- cles in mutual aid work. This section includes things

groups can do to address conflict and avoid slipping

into charity-model or business-model practices, as well as ideas for

things individuals within groups can do to expand their own capacity to

do this work with as much compassion and care as possible—according to

our principles.

4

Some Dangers and Pitfalls of Mutual Aid

Even while they explicitly work to reject the charity model, mutual aid

projects can slip into some of the well-worn grooves of that model if we

don’t root deeply in our principles and practice careful discern- ment.

Mutual aid groups face four dangerous tenden- cies: dividing people into

those who are deserving and undeserving of help, practicing saviorism,

being co-opted, and collaborating with efforts to eliminate public

infrastructure and replace it with private enter- prise and

volunteerism.

Deservingness Hierarchies

People start mutual aid projects because existing programs or other

services are not meeting people’s needs, and often are leaving out

particular groups of vulnerable people. The notorious failures of the

Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) in the face of disaster are a

good example. The 2018 Camp Fire in California was the deadliest and

most

destructive wildfire in the state’s history, the worst wildfire in the

United States in a century, and the most expensive natural disaster in

the world that year. At least 85 people were killed in the fire, over

18,800 structures were destroyed, 52,000 people were evacu- ated, and

the total damage was estimated at $16.5 billion. A tent city of people

displaced by the fire emerged in a Walmart parking lot in Chico,

California. In the days following the fire, as displaced people with

more resources began to leave the tent city because they could afford to

find new housing or stay with family or friends, city officials and

media portrayed the people that remained as ordinary home- less and

itinerant people who were “undeserving” of help, rather than as

sympathetic fire survivors. The hierarchy of deservingness is built into

FEMA’s eligi- bility process, which excludes people who cannot confirm

an address before the disaster, such as home- less people or people

living in poor communities where individual dwellings are sometimes not

given an individual mailing address.

The distinction between deserving and undeserv- ing disaster survivors

rests on the idea that suddenly displaced renters and homeowners are

sympathetic victims, while people who were already displaced by the

ordinary disasters of capitalism—and are espe- cially vulnerable after

an acute disaster like a storm or fire—are blameworthy and do not

deserve aid. As I argued above, state and nonprofit disaster recovery

and social services models generally work to stabilize the existing

distribution of wealth, not transform it,

so it makes sense that they provide little or nothing to the poorest

people.

After disasters like Hurricanes Sandy and Katrina, the federal

government offered loans to homeowners and business owners, and smaller

loans to renters for replacing personal property. Only those who were

deemed to be “creditworthy” could qualify, and many of those who

qualified still never saw a penny. People in crisis are unlikely to be

helped by having more debt—but putting them in debt does make money for

banks reaping the interest. Similarly, during the initial COVID-19

outbreak in the United States, the federal government offered loans for

businesses suffering economic losses. Almost immediately, stories broke

about how giant corporations like Shake Shack and Potbelly received

millions while small businesses owned by people of color received the

least. Among individual workers, those with the most precarious jobs

were cut out of unemployment benefits and the stimulus checks that were

supposed to provide relief. Undocumented people were ineligible for

relief. Disaster relief and poor relief are designed to uphold and

worsen inequalities. Deservingness narratives justify those designs.

Even though mutual aid projects often emerge because of an awareness of

how relief programs exclude people marked “undeserving” or “ineligible,”

mutual aid groups still sometimes set up their own problematic

deservingness hierarchies. For example, mutual aid projects replicate

moralizing eligibility frameworks when they require sobriety, exclude

people with certain types of convictions, only include families with

children, or stigmatize and exclude people with psychiatric disabilities

for not fitting behavioral norms.

In his book Gay, Inc.: The Nonprofitization of Queer Politics, Myrl Beam

tells the story of a Minneapolis group founded by queer and trans youth

to support their community. As the group formalized and got funding, it

diverged from its initial mission and commitment to youth governance and

became dominated by adults. The group began to work with the local

police to check warrants for youth who came to the drop-in space. This

functionally excluded crim- inalized youth—disproportionately youth of

color— from the space and endangered people who came seeking help,

turning what had been a mutual aid group into an extension of the local

police depart- ment. When mutual aid projects make more stigma- tized

people ineligible for what they are offering, they replicate the charity

model.

The charity model often ties aid and criminaliza- tion together,

determining who gets help and who gets put away, as we can see in this

account from a Mutual Aid Disaster Relief (MADR) participant:

After Hurricane Irma, a local sheriff announced that, “If you go to a

shelter for Irma and you have a warrant, we’ll gladly escort you to the

safe and secure shelter called the Polk County Jail.” [This] . . .

essentially weaponizes aid against the most vulnerable and put[s]

numerous lives in

danger . . . There is always a shocking number of guns that show up

after a disaster. A dehydrated child without access to electricity or

air condition- ing in the blazing Florida or Texas or Puerto Rico sun,

needs somebody carrying Pedialyte, not an M16.

Saviorism and Paternalism

Mutual aid projects must also be wary of saviorism, self-congratulation,

and paternalism. Populations facing crisis are cast as in need of

saving, and their saviors are encouraged to use their presumed superi-

ority to make over these people and places, replacing old, dysfunctional

ways of being with smarter, more profitable, and more moral ones. In the

wake of Hurricane Katrina, politicians, nonprofiteers, celeb- rity

philanthropists, and corporations conspired to remake the city of New

Orleans and the people in it by implementing devastating “innovations”

that elim- inated public housing, permanently displaced Black residents,

privatized schools, and destroyed public health infrastructure. After

storms, floods, and fires, there is often this kind of push to “rebuild”

in ways that center the plans and dreams of elites and do real harm to

the populations who have lost the most.

Paternalism is also visible in programs within welfare and criminal

punishment systems that force criminalized people and people seeking

welfare bene- fits to take parenting classes, budgeting classes, and

anger management seminars. The idea that those

giving aid need to “fix” people who are in need is based on the notion

that people’s poverty and margin- alization is not a systemic problem

but is caused by their own personal shortcomings. This also implies that

those who provide aid are superior.

Mutual aid projects and their individual partici- pants must actively

resist savior narratives. These ideas are so pervasive that even those

who have a systemic analysis of vulnerability still sometimes fall into

the trap. Most mutual aid projects benefit from an explicit ongoing

effort to build shared analysis among participants about the harms of

saviorism and the necessity of self-determination for people in crisis.

Co-optation

For decades, politicians have combined attacks on public infrastructure

and public services with an endorsement of privatization and

volunteerism. As public services are cut, politicians push for already

inadequate social safety nets to be replaced by family and church,

implying that those who fail to belong to either deserve abandonment.

Alongside the destruc- tion of public welfare, public-private

partnerships are celebrated and bolstered by the fiction that everything

from hospitals to prisons to city governments should be “run like a

business.” The prevailing myth is that business models are more

“efficient.” The truth is that making everything profit-centered, as

we’ve seen with our health care system, actually degrades the

care that people receive, as businesses seek short-term gains at any

expense.

A cultural narrative about “social justice entrepre- neurship” has also

emerged in recent decades, suggest- ing that people should not fight for

justice but rather invent (and patent) new ways of managing poor people

and social problems. One example of this kind of “entrepreneurship” that

has received media fanfare is Samaritan and other smartphone apps that

coordi- nate digital donations to homeless people in ways that ensure

restrictions on how they can use the cash. These apps are more focused

on the experience of the giver than on the person in need of aid, and

are designed to make the giver more comfortable by knowing their

donation can only be used at local partner businesses, or if the

homeless person’s coun- selor authorizes it for a specific purpose like

rent. This is typical of the kind of “innovation” that the social

justice entrepreneurship model celebrates—it embraces ideas of

paternalism central to the charity model, focuses aid on making donors

“feel good,” and has no connection to work that aims to get to the root

causes of the problem. In fact, it is being devel- oped by the same tech

industry that has gentrified cities and increased housing insecurity.

In this atmosphere, mutual aid projects have to work hard to remain

oppositional to the status quo and cultivate resistance, rather than

becoming complementary to privatization. In the wake of Hurricane Harvey

in 2017, corporate media news stories of boat owners volunteering to

make rescues

followed this script, neither criticizing government failures to rescue

people nor interrogating the cause of worsening hurricanes and whom they

most endan- gered. That is, the media stories of individual heroes hid

the social and political conditions producing the crisis. Politicians

and CEOs, who fantasize about a world where nothing is guaranteed and

most people are desperate and easily exploited, love the idea of

volunteerism replacing a social safety net. If we don’t design mutual

aid projects with care, we can fit right into this conservative dream,

becoming the people who can barely hold the threads of a survivable

world together while the 1 percent extracts more and more while

heroizing individual volunteers.

We can see this struggle to resist co-optation in the work of mutual aid

projects that support people who have been criminalized. Programs that

divert some arrestees from the criminal system to social services or

drug treatment, or that provide mediation between people who have done

harm and those they have harmed as an alternative to the criminal legal

process, can keep people out of jail or prison. However, they can also

become non-disruptive adjuncts to carceral control, as they

professionalize and become funded and shaped by police and courts. In

Seattle, for example, throughout a seven-year fight to stop the building

of a new youth jail, public officials have relentlessly used the small

diversion programs run primarily by people of color—which receive

minimal amounts of public funding—as cover to argue that King County has

already addressed concerns about youth incarceration through progressive

work with community partners. They have gone so far as to co-opt the

ideas of the youth jail opponents, pass- ing legislation stating that

the city and county are committed to “zero youth detention.” Meanwhile,

the County built a youth jail for hundreds of millions of dollars. This

story of a local government co-opting the message of the radical

opposition, and showcasing grassroots, community-initiated programs to

legitimize expansion of the racist infrastructure of state violence is

chilling and highlights the thorny terrain of co-opta- tion that mutual

aid projects must navigate.

Mutual aid projects may appear to overlap with privatization and

volunteerism in that participants critique certain social service models

and believe that voluntary participation in care and crisis work is

necessary. But the critiques of public safety nets made by mutual aid

project participants are not the same as those of neoliberal politicians

and corporations who tout volunteerism. Mutual aid projects emerge

because public services are exclusive, insufficient, punitive, and

criminalizing. Neoliberals take aim at public services in order to

further concentrate wealth and, in doing so, exacerbate material

inequality and violence. Mutual aid projects seek to radically redis-

tribute care and well-being, as part of larger move- ments that work to

dismantle the systems that concen- trate wealth in the hands of the 1

percent.

The difference between neoliberal projects and mutual aid approaches is

well illustrated when we compare the privatization of fire services with

the work of the Oakland Power Projects (OPP), which

seeks to build an alternative to calling 911. Increasingly, public

firefighting services are inade- quate and are facing further cuts, all

in the midst of climate change–induced fires. Meanwhile, the private

firefighting business is growing, with wealthy home- owners paying for

private fire services to come seal their homes, spray fire retardants on

the premises, and put owners in five-star hotels while less affluent

people watch their homes burn, struggle in shelters, and fight FEMA for

basic benefits. Fire profiteers aim to create a context in which only

those who can pay get help or protection in the case of a fire, which

means fires will be more deadly, the rich will get richer, and the poor

will get poorer.

In contrast, the OPP emerged out of anti-police and anti-prison movement

groups who observed that when people call 911 for emergency medical

help, the police also come, hurting and sometimes killing those who

called for help. In response, the OPP works to train people in

communities impacted by police violence to provide emergency medical

care for gunshot wounds, chronic health problems like diabe- tes, and

mental health crises. If people can take care of each other, they can

avoid calling 911 and avoid a confrontation with the police. This

strategy is part of broader work to dismantle policing and criminaliza-

tion, and it works to both meet immediate needs and mobilize people to

build an alternative infrastructure for crisis response guided by a

shared commitment to ending racist police violence and medical neglect.

Note that, although the OPP and private firefighting

both provide an alternative to inadequate public services, they are not

the same at all: instead of profit- ing and only serving those who can

pay, the OPP’s programs build new ways of responding that allow those on

the bottom to work together to meet survival needs while dismantling

racist infrastructure.

Many powerful lessons about co-optation come out of the feminist

movement against domestic violence. That movement started with mutual

aid projects, such as volunteer-run shelters for violence survivors and

defense campaigns for women criminalized for killing their abuser or

attacker. Unfortunately, the anti– domestic violence movement emerged at

the same time that criminalization was about to balloon in the United

States. The mass uprisings of the 1960s and ’70s brought a huge crisis

of legitimacy to policing, with Black liberation, anti-racist, feminist,

queer, and Indigenous movements protesting and exposing police violence.

In response, US law enforcement worked hard to repair its public image,

doing things like hiring cops of color, creating new police roles in

schools through initiatives like the D.A.R.E. program, and creating

programs and campaigns to portray the police as the protectors of women

and children. Toward this end, law enforcement sought out alliances with

the emerging anti–domestic violence movement, support- ing new laws that

increased punishment for gender- based violence and providing money for

groups will- ing to cooperate with police.

This drastically changed the anti–domestic violence movement. It shifted

from centering

volunteer-based, grassroots mutual aid projects to emphasizing larger

nonprofits, often run by white people with advanced degrees. These

groups increas- ingly towed the line of a pro-police message and

advocated for increased criminalization, meanwhile taking on

charity-model approaches that treated people seeking help in punitive

and paternalizing ways. This shift increased the criminalization of

communities of color, made the services less accessi- ble to the most

vulnerable survivors of violence, and provided good public relations for

police, prosecu- tors, and courts.

Notably, these co-optive approaches also failed to reduce gender-based

violence. Research has shown that pro-criminalization policy reforms

that became popular in this period, like mandatory arrest laws requiring

police to make arrests during domestic violence calls, resulted in the

arrests of abuse survi- vors, especially if they were queer, trans,

disabled, or people of color. This is a sobering story of how

co-optation can undermine our efforts to meet survival needs and cause

us to contribute to legitimiz- ing or expanding the very systems that

are harming us.

At the same time, these events also produced a vibrant resistance from

which we can learn much in developing mutual aid work that resists

co-optation. Women of color, working-class and immigrant femi- nists,

and feminists with disabilities have powerfully resisted this shift

toward criminalization in the move- ment against gender violence. They

have created

mutual aid projects to address harm and violence that refuse to

collaborate with police.

This work is often called “community accountabil- ity” or

“transformative justice.” It includes many innovative strategies

developed in mutual aid groups. Drawing on lessons from years of

experience, Creative Interventions authored a six-hundred-page guide on

how to address sexual violence and family violence through community

support and problem solving. GenerationFIVE and the Bay Area

Transformative Justice Collective have designed approaches to address-

ing child sexual abuse that aim to get to the root causes and stop it,

rather than just criminalizing the small percentage of people who get

caught. Hundreds of local groups like Philly Stands Up and For Crying

Out Loud have developed processes for supporting survi- vors of violence

and confronting harm-doers, working with them to figure out what they

need to never inflict the harm again. These processes sometimes last

several years, with community members providing harm- doers with support

for their sobriety, mental health, and housing needs, deepening

understanding of their behaviors and their beliefs about gender and

sexuality, and doing whatever else they need to stop the behavior.

The goal of this kind of work is to do the things that the criminal

punishment approaches fail to do: give the survivor support to heal,

give the harm-doer what they need to stop the behavior, and assess how

community norms can change to decrease the likeli- hood of harm in

general, such as by providing healthy

relationship skills training, addressing a culture of substance misuse,

and changing community ideas about sexuality and gender. The Safe

OUTside the System Collective, a part of the Audre Lorde Project in New

York City, has engaged a variety of tactics to address violence against

queer and trans people of color, including police violence. One strategy

it devel- oped was building relationships with people working in

businesses in a Brooklyn neighborhood where violence often occurred,

asking those bodega cashiers, restaurant staff, and other workers to

provide a place for people to run for help if something is happening on

the street, a place that pledges to not call the police. This

community-wide work of building long-term relationships increased those

people’s preparedness for helping people in need and de-escalating

situa- tions, which increased safety in the neighborhood.

Some transformative justice work is focused on prevention, and some is

focused on providing support after something happens. Both are mutual

aid approaches, since they address immediate survival needs with a

recognition that the systems that are supposed to guarantee safety—the

cops, prosecutors, and courts—fail to do so and actually make things

worse. These mutual aid projects work to build a new world, where people

create safety through community building and support each other to stop

harmful behavior through connection rather than through caging.

These feminist activists and groups with an anti- police, anti-violence

politics also developed much of

the analysis that informs this book. They identified how the system of

nonprofitization and pressure from funders were pushing anti-violence

work toward criminalization, how mutual aid approaches were undermined

when domestic violence shelters and hotlines became more like social

services, and how the co-optation of anti-violence work undermined

solidarity, further endangering communities most targeted by police.

Their wisdom can guide us in building successful groups and movements

and in resisting co-optation.

Characteristics of Mutual Aid vs. Charity

Mutual aid projects depart from the charity model in crucial ways. Most

mutual aid projects are volunteer- based and avoid the careerism,

business approach, and charity model of nonprofits. Mutual aid projects

strive to include lots of people, rather than just a few people who have

been declared “experts” or “profes- sionals.” If we want to provide

survival support to as many people as possible, and mobilize as many

people as possible for root-causes change, we need to let a lot of

people do the work and make decisions about the work together, rather

than bottlenecking the process with hierarchies that let only a few

people lead.

Despite these important goals, avoiding the pitfalls of co-optation,

deservingness hierarchies, saviorism, and disconnect from root-causes

work requires constant vigilance. The last half-century of social

movement history is full of examples of mutual aid groups that, under

pressure from law enforcement, funders, and culture, transformed into

charity or social services groups and lost much of their transformative

capacity. Here are some guiding questions for mutual aid groups trying

to avoid these dangers and pitfalls:

Who controls our project?

Who makes decisions about what we do?

Does any of the funding we receive come with strings attached that limit

who we help or how we help?

Do any of our guidelines about who can partici- pate in our work cut out

stigmatized and vulner- able people?

What is our relationship to law enforcement?

How do we introduce new people in our group to our approach to law

enforcement?

While there is no single correct model for a mutual aid group, being

aware of general tendencies that distinguish mutual aid from other

projects can help groups make thoughtful decisions and maintain their

integrity and effectiveness. To help us think through where things can

get slippery, the chart below tracks characteristics within mutual aid

groups against those of groups working in the charity model. It may be a

good discussion prompt for a mutual aid group to clarify shared values

or find areas of agreement and disagreement, or desire for further

inquiry.

De-professionalized survival work done by volunteers

Service work staffed by professionals

Beg, borrow, and steal supplies

Grant money for supplies/phil- anthropic control of program

Use people power to resist any efforts by government to regu- late or

shut down activities

Follow government regulations about how the work needs to happen

(usually requiring more money, causing reliance on grants, paid staff

with professional degrees)

Survival work rooted in princi- ples of anti-capitalism, anti-

imperialism, racial justice, gender justice, disability justice

Siloed single-issue work, serv- ing a particular population or working

on one area of policy reform, disconnected from other issues

Open meetings, with as many people making decisions and doing the work

as possible

Closed board meetings, governance by professionals or people associated

with big institutions or donors, program operated by staff, volunteers

limited to stuffing envelopes or other menial tasks, volunteers not part

of high-level

decision-making

Support people facing the most dire conditions

Impose eligibility criteria for services that divide people into

“deserving” and “unde- serving” recipients

Mutual Aid Charity

Give things away without expectations

Set conditions for getting help—recipients have to fill out onerous

paperwork, be sober, have a certain family status, have a certain immi-

gration status, not have outstanding warrants, certain convictions, etc.

People participate voluntarily because of their passion about injustice

and care for their community

People come looking for a job, wanting to climb a hierarchy, build a

career, or become “important”

Efforts to flatten hierarchies— e.g., flat wage scales if anyone is

paid, training so that new people can do work they weren’t

professionally trained to do, rotating facilitation roles, language

access

Maintaining hierarchies of pay, status, decision-making power, influence

that are typical of the mainstream culture (e.g., lawyers are more

valuable and important than non-lawyers)

Values self-determination for people impacted or targeted by harmful

social conditions

Offers “help” to the “under- privileged,” absent of an awareness or

strategy for transforming the conditions that produced injustice;

embraces paternalism, rescue fantasies, and saviorism

Mutual Aid Charity

Consensus decision-making to maximize everyone’s participa- tion, to

ensure people impacted by decisions are the ones making them, to avoid

under-represented groups getting outvoted, and to build the skill of

caring about each other’s participation and concerns rather than caring

about winning or being right

Person on top (often the exec- utive director) decides things or, in

some instances, a board votes and the majority wins

Direct aid work is connected to other tactics, including disruptive

tactics aimed at the root causes of distress

Direct aid work disconnected from other tactics, depoliti- cized, and

distanced from disruptive or root causes– oriented tactics in order to

retain legitimacy with govern- ment or funders

Tendency to assess the work based on how the people facing the crisis

regard the work

Tendency to assess the work based on opinions of elites: political

officials, bureaucrats, funders, corporate media

“Members” = people making decisions, usually everyone involved in doing

the work and/or getting help from the group

“Members” = donors

Mutual Aid Charity

Engagement with the group builds broader political partici- pation,

solidarity, mobiliza- tion, radicalization

Engagement with the group is not aimed at growing partici- pants’

connection to other issues, groups, or struggles for justice; main focus

is to meet grant deliverables and give the organization a good public

reputation with funders, media, elected officials

5

No Masters, No Flakes

One downside to the urgency that we bring to our mutual aid work can be

that we dive right into the work, very concerned about how many people

our project is help- ing, but fail to create good internal practices for

our group to be strong and sustainable. It makes sense that we are not

good at creating emancipatory group struc- tures. Most of us have never

been in groups that had fair, participatory, transparent structures.

We’ve been work- ing at jobs where bosses tell us what to do, or been in

schools, families, state institutions, or churches where strong

hierarchies rule and most people get no say in how things will go. We do

not have much practice imagining or being in groups where everyone can

truly participate in decision-making.

In addition, we are used to being part of groups that ignore ordinary

caring labor, much of which is seen as women’s work, like cooking and

cleaning and conflict mediation, while celebrating only the final,

outward- looking evidence of production: the big protest march, the

finalized legislation, the release of someone from prison, the media

coverage. We have not been taught to notice or care about how things

went along the way to a

victory, whether people’s capacity for confronting the next challenge

was improved, or whether it was destroyed through burnout or damaging

group dynamics. Capitalism makes us think about short-term gains, not

building the long-term capacity for all of our well-being. This can make

it easy to go for the quick fix and ignore the damage we might be doing

to each other along the way. Many of us think “process is boring.”

Everyone wants a selfie with Angela Davis at the big event, but many

people are less interested in the months of meet- ings where we

coordinate how to pull off that event according to our values and handle

the challenges of organizing.

But we must build strong structures for our projects if we want this

work to be effective at saving lives and mobilizing people. This is

essential to any effort to address injustice. Building efficient,

participatory, trans- parent decision-making structures and cultures of

care and principled action in our groups takes intentional work, but it

is crucial for allowing our groups to flourish and win. If we do it

right, it can help prevent the conflicts that tend to tear groups apart,

divide participants from each other, and drive people away.

Groups are more effective and efficient when partici- pants know how to

raise concerns, how to propose ideas, when a decision has been made and

by whom, and how to put that decision into practice. People who have

gotten to participate in decision-making and feel co-ownership of the

project stick around and do the work. People who feel unclear about

whether their opinion matters or how to be part of making decisions tend

to drift away. Strong

structures also help us plug in new people, orient them to the work,

train them in skills they need to build, and give them roles they want.

Chart 2. Default Approaches to Organizing Groups

Default

Dangers of Default

Alternatives

Practices Approach

Hierarchy Abuse of power;

Burnout of a few people and no way for others to plug in; Unprincipled

behavior by people at the top; People at the top can

Horizontal decision- making structure based on consensus that prevents

decision- making from being concentrated in one person or a small group,

be bought off by atten- and that can help tasks

tion, career opportuni- ties, or money

and roles get distributed to many people

Vague deci- sion-making process

Individuals make deci- sions without consult- ing others; Some deci-

sions don’t get made in time; Conflict over decisions

Clear decision-making processes that everyone is trained in and that

include all members

Leadership held by people who have seniority or self-select

New people drift away because they do not feel real co-steward- ship of

the group; White people, men, and others with social privilege dominate

Training new people in how to participate fully in decisions and in new

skills and roles; Cultivating a culture of group participation,

feminism, anti-racism

Clear structures help us stick to our values under pressure—and we’ve

already looked at many of the larger pitfalls that mutual aid groups can

fall into, so

we know what’s at stake. In groups that aren’t clear about

decision-making, it is much easier for a leader to get seduced by money

or prestige and sell out a group’s core values for a job, a grant, or a

moment in the spot- light. It is easier for law enforcement to

infiltrate and destroy the group. It is also easier for participants to

get burnt out on organizing. As I’ll discuss below, burnout is often

caused by conflict or by a failure to delegate decisions and tasks. A

clear structure can help prevent conflict or provide ways to move

through it, and can help make sure that people are sharing

responsibility.

This chapter will explore three organizational tendencies that often

emerge in mutual aid groups that can cause problems, and provide ideas

for how to avoid them:

One. Secrecy, hierarchy, and lack of clarity. Many groups that fail to

create clear decision-making methods and caring, emancipatory cultures

end up with participants not knowing what is going on or who is making

decisions, having all the decision- making concentrate in one person or

clique, and risk the group being torn apart by conflict because of these

dynamics.

Two. Over-promising and under-delivering, non- responsiveness, and

elitism. Many groups bite off more than they can chew, promising to help

more people than they can help or making it seem like they have a

community need covered when they don’t

actually have the capacity to address it. This problem seems to be

exacerbated when groups receive grants for specific projects, so there

is money at stake in falsely claiming to be able to accomplish more than

they are able. It also happens when people are not making decisions

together and someone makes promises for the whole group without

consulting everyone else about whether that work is a priority or a

possibility. This tendency can include being non- responsive, especially

to community members in need, and sometimes being over-responsive to

elites. Many groups, especially when money or ego is involved, answer

calls from media or elected officials, but not from the community

members they are supposed to serve.

Three. Scarcity, urgency, competition. Some groups also develop a

culture of scarcity (of money, time, attention, and labor), which makes

sense given the real scarcity that exists in many of our lives under

capitalism. However, when we do our work from a feeling that there is

not enough money, time, or attention to go around, we some- times get

competitive with other groups or with other people within our group, or

we feel so much urgency about particular tasks that we don’t take the

necessary steps to do our task well, and we forget about being kind to

each other in our rush to get something done. This can lead to conflict

or making mistakes that harm our communities.

Chart 3. Tendencies That Harm Groups

Harmful Tendencies

What Leadership

What Participation

Dangers What We Want Instead

Looks Like Looks Like

Secrecy, Hierarchy, Lack of Clarity

Over- Promising and Under- Delivering, Non-res- pons- iveness, Elitism

Decisions made by one person or small group; Not clear to newcomers how

decisions are made;

No clear procedures about decisions

One or more people making prom- ises about what the group will do

without consulting everyone; Group not responsive to the commu- nity it

serves,

Be or follow the charis- matic leader; If the leader disappears or sells

out, the group does; Confusion about roles and decisions

Participants don’t get a say in whether the group takes on more work;

Being over- worked and over extended; Conflict over workloads and unmet

needs; Charismatic leaders can

New people never able to plug in; Theft of resources; Conflict about

decisions; Cliques

Burnout; Conflict; Loss of align- ment with group princi- ples; Co-

optation by elites

Trans- parency; Shared participatory decision- making; Leaderless and

leaderful with every- one

co-leading

Clear plan- ning processes and shared decisions about work- load;

Account- ability to community being served, especially

yet responsive easily sell out its most

Scarcity, Urgency,

to elites and media

Competition within the

for attention or money

Exhaustion; Conflict about

Burnout; Conflict;

vulnerable members

Cooper- ation;

Competition group or

priorities and

Damage to

Generosity;

between the

over-extension; relationships

Planning

group and others doing related work for attention or resources; Rushed

decision- making

Blame between members about who cares most or does the most work

inside the group and with other groups doing related work; Benefits the

opposition to our movement

and pacing the work based on the group’s collective wisdom and

abilities; Staying in it for the long haul

This section will provide tools for addressing these tendencies in our

groups and in ourselves, so that we can cultivate transparency,

integrity, and generosity in our work and build our capacities to avoid

the pitfalls discussed in chapter 4. We will look at what decision-

making and leadership look like when these tendencies prevail, what

alternatives to these ways of working look like, and what personal

qualities and behaviors we need to cultivate to address these

tendencies.

Group Culture

Groups have cultures. Group culture is built from the signals we give

people when they join or attend an event, norms the group follows, how

we celebrate together, how we engage in small talk, what our meetings

feel like, how we give feedback to each other, and more. Group cultures

often reflect the personalities and ingrained behaviors and responses of

the founders. If the founder is vague and loose with money, or often

late to meetings, the group may be that way; or if the founder loves to

sing at the end of meetings, the group may keep that practice going for

a long time. But group culture also changes as new people come in and as

conditions change. We can make intentional decisions to change group

culture by having conversations about a group’s tendencies and methods,

talking about what is working and what is not, reflecting on how our own

behavior can match what we want to see, and influencing each other.

There is no one correct or perfect group culture.

Groups should be different from each other because

the people in them are different and we all bring different qualities,

skills, and viewpoints. Ideally, we want a group culture that supports

participants in doing the work they came together to do, to be well, and

to build generative relationships. In some groups that means people will

form sexual and romantic connections with people they meet in the group.

In others, that would be inappropriate or harmful, and the group will

create a culture that discourages it. In some groups, people will love

to sing and dance together, and in some groups people will want to

engage in spiritual rituals together. In some groups, the nature of the

work makes it essential to maintain certain forms of secrecy and

security, to protect members who are taking bold actions. In others,

culti- vating openness to new members will be essential for bringing

lots of people into the work.

The chart below is designed to provoke conversation about group culture

among people already in a project or those about to start one. For those

already in a project, the chart can be used to assess what the group

culture is currently like. And even if there has only been one

conversation so far about starting a project, the norms that the people

in that conversation may be likely to bring to the group’s emerging

culture will already be noticeable. This chart can be used to talk about

strengths and weaknesses participants have experienced before in other

groups, including families, jobs, schools, and congregations, and what

they want to emulate or avoid reproducing in this current group.

Chart 4. Qualities of Group Cultures

Helpful Qualities Potentially Harmful Qualities

Reliable, responsible, punc- tual, follows through

Flaky, late, no follow-through

Welcoming to new people Unwelcoming

Flexible, experimental Rigid, bureaucratic, formulaic Collaborative

Isolationist, competitive

Realistic workload, sustainable work flow, real culture of well- ness

and care

Overworking, perfectionist, martyrdom

Direct feedback and growth Silence and/or gossip and shit

talk

Sticks to values Sells out, easily bought off, pushover when faced with

political or financial pressure

Humble Superior (can include taking credit for others’ work, refus- ing

to hear feedback)

Sharing work well A few people do most of the work

Fun, celebratory, appreciative of each other

Serious, resentful, stressful

Forgiving Holding grudges (between people inside the project and toward

outside people and groups)

Able to have generative conflict and learn, repair

Being conflict-avoidant or letting conflicts explode but never reach

resolution

Clarity about procedures Confusion

Human pace with clear priori- ties and realistic expectations

Rushed pace

Transparency Secrecy

Generous Having a scarcity mind-set, penny-pinching

Real contradictions exist in the above chart. We want to be flexible,

and we also want to have a culture of responsiveness, reliability, and

punctuality. How do we work to cultivate both? Most of us, having

received our concept of responsibility from dominant culture, associ-

ate it with being forced, lured, or shamed into being “good,” ignoring

our needs, and fearing punishment if we do wrong. How do we hold our

values of flexibility, compassion, and justice while building a culture

where we show up and do what we said we would? These tensions are real.

If we do not talk about them together, we run the risk of falling into

automatic behaviors, driv- ing out new people, and falling apart.

Creating a group culture intentionally, and having a shared vision about

how we want it to be does not mean we all need to be just like each

other. We can acknowledge differences in our capacities, talents,

desires, and difficulties and still aim to create a culture where we

support each other in the work, learn new skills, and are connected and

kind to each other. The goal is not that everyone be similar, but that

we all complement each other and build some shared practices based in

shared values.

MADR’s slogan is “No Masters, No Flakes,” and it’s a great summary of

key principles for collective mutual aid work. This dual focus on

rejecting hierarchies inside the organization and committing to build

accountability according to shared values asks participants to keep

showing up and working together not because a boss is making you, but

because you want to.

Making Decisions Together

Perhaps the most central group activity that makes everything else

possible is making decisions. When we do it well, we make good decisions

on the basis of the best information available, we feel heard by each

other, and we are all motivated to implement what we decided. When we do

it poorly, our decisions are unwise, some people are left resentful or

hurt or disconnected from the group, and there is less motivation to

proceed together on purpose.

Most of us have little experience in groups where everyone gets to make

decisions together, because our schools, homes, workplaces,

congregations, and other groups are mostly run as hierarchies. Our

society runs on coercion. You have to work or go to school and follow

rules and laws that you had no say in creating, whether you believe in

them or not, or risk exclusion, stigma, starvation, or punishment. We do

not get to consent to the conditions we live under. Bosses,

corporations, and government officials make decisions that impoverish

most people, pollute our planet, concentrate wealth, and start wars. We

are only practiced at being allowed to make decisions as individual

consumers, and rarely get practice making truly collective decisions. We

are told we live in a system of “majority rule,” yet there is rarely

anyone to vote for who is not owned by—or part of— the 1 percent, and

the decisions those leaders make do not benefit the majority of people.

The opposite of this approach to decision-making is to make decisions

together, caring about every person’s

consent. This practice is called consensus decision- making. Unlike

representative government, consensus decision-making lets us have a say

in things that matter to us directly, instead of electing someone who

may or may not advocate on our behalf. Consensus decision- making is a

radical practice for building a new world not based on domination and

coercion.

It’s important to remember that no decision-making structure can prevent

all conflict or power dynamics, or guarantee that we will never be

frustrated or bored or decide to part ways. But consensus

decision-making at least helps us avoid the worst costs of hierarchies

and majority rule, which can include abuse of power, demo- bilization of

most people, and inefficiency. Consensus decision-making gives us the

best chance to hear from everyone concerned, address power dynamics, and

make decisions that represent the best wisdom of the group and that

people in the group will want to implement.

What Is Consensus Decision-Making?

Consensus decision-making is based on the idea that everyone should have

a say in decisions that affect them. If we are working on a project

together, we should all get to decide how we are going to do the work,

rather than someone telling us how to do it. We will honor people’s

different levels of experience and wisdom as we listen to each other’s

ideas, but we will not follow some- one just because they act bossy, got

here first, or have a higher social status in the dominant culture

because they are a professional, white, older, male, formally

educated, etc. Consensus decision-making happens when everyone in the

discussion hashes out possibilities and modifies a proposal until

everyone can live with it. Consensus is cooperative rather than

adversarial. When we use “majority rule,” the goal is to get as many

people as possible to prefer your approach to another, and to “win” by

getting things your way. That means that we disregard the needs and

concerns of anyone who cannot muster majority support. Consensus

encourages us to find out what each other’s concerns are and try to

create a path forward that addresses all the concerns as well as

possible. It is based on the belief that people can cooper- ate and care

about each other’s well-being, rather than the myth that we are

naturally competitive and greedy.

Consensus cultivates interest in the whole group’s purpose and wellness,

rather than cultivating a desire to have things exactly “my way.” In

consensus, any partici- pant can block a decision, so we take time to

actually talk through each member’s concerns because we cannot move

forward without each other. Because we are trying to build agreement by

modifying the proposal until it comes as close as possible to meeting

the full range of needs and concerns, we also build the skill of making

decisions with group members and community members in mind, not just

ourselves or our cliques, and being okay with something that is not our

most preferred version going forward. That is, we learn to imagine how

decisions affect all of us differently, and how to productively move

forward taking other people’s needs and desires into account. People can

“stand aside” in consensus processes, letting others know that while

they are not totally behind

this proposal, they agree it is best for the group to go forward with

the decision, given all the views that have been expressed and the

efforts made to address concerns. Here’s an example of what consensus

could ideally look like: Over a period of time, a group has hashed out a

proposal, heard concerns in collective discussions, and tweaked it until

it seems like everyone may be ready to agree. Someone then calls for

consensus and checks to see if there are any “stand asides”—those who

want to signify disagreement but don’t want to block the proposal from

moving forward—or “blocks”—those with disagreements significant enough

that they feel the proposal cannot be passed without modifica- tion. If

there are blocks, it means the proposal needs more work. The person or

people blocking can share their concerns, and the group can either work

further on modifying the proposal then and there, or have some people

work on it and come up with a way forward before the next meeting. If no

one blocks, but many people stand aside, the group may decide to discuss

the reasons for the stand asides for a bit longer and see if they can be

resolved by making the proposal better. If someone finds themselves

blocking a lot, it may be worth examining whether they are in the right

group—do they believe in the shared purpose?—or whether they are

withholding their views earlier in the process, or feeling not

listened to in the group. In general, blocking should be rare.

It is worth noting that this process often unfolds over multiple

meetings, with Step 1 happening at one meet- ing and a group of people

agreeing to come to the next meeting with a developed proposal to be

discussed.

Consensus decision-making does not mean that every decision is made by

the whole group. Decisions can still

be delegated to teams working on implementing part of the group’s larger

plan. For example, if the group does grocery deliveries, a specific team

can work on filling out the delivery schedule and assignments. Sorting

out what decisions are delegated to teams and what is a whole- group

decision will be discussed below.

This chart summarizes the consensus process:

Chart 5. Basic Steps to Consensus Decision-Making

Step 1

Discussion

Step 2

Identify Emerging Proposal

Step 3

Identify Any Unsatisfied Concerns

Step 4

Collaboratively Modify the Proposal

Step 5

Assess the Degree of Support

Step 6

Finalize the

Decision

OR

Circle Back to

Steps 1 or 3

For consensus to work well, people need a common purpose; some degree of

trust in each other; an under- standing of the consensus process; a

willingness to put the best interests of the group at the center (which

does not mean people let themselves be harmed “for the good of the

group,” but may mean being okay not always getting their way); a

willingness to spend time preparing and discussing proposals; and

skillful facilitation and agenda preparation. These skills and qualities

can develop as any new group learns to work together—it is okay that we

don’t have all these in place at the start. The greatest area of

strength for most mutual aid groups is a common purpose.

Advantages of Consensus Decision-Making

Better Decisions

When more people get to talk through a decision openly, sharing their

insight without fear of reprisal from a boss, parent, or teacher, more

relevant information and wisdom about the topic is likely to surface. In

hierarchi- cal organizations, people are discouraged from sharing their

opinion either because no one is listening or because they could

experience negative consequences for disagreeing. Because hierarchy is

so ingrained in our culture, people on top often fall into dominance

behav- iors without meaning to, assuming the superiority of their ideas,

not taking other’s opinions seriously, or unilaterally making decisions

and telling others to implement them. If we are trying to build a world

where

people have collective self-determination, where we get to make

justice-centered decisions together about land, work, housing, water,

minerals, energy, food, and every- thing else that matters, we need to

practice new skills beyond dominance and submission in decision-making.

Better Implementation

When other people make decisions for us and we don’t get to raise

concerns or disagreements, we are less likely to want to implement them.

This happens all the time at workplaces. Bosses decide how things will

be done, and employees think the method is wrong or that the wrong

priorities were chosen, so they drag their feet doing the work, or do it

differently, or don’t do it at all. In volun- teer groups, people who

don’t get to have a say in deci- sions are likely to just leave,

because, unlike employees, they have no incentive to stay if the work

does not align with their principles or feel meaningful to them. When we

get to look at a proposal together and tell each other how it might be

improved, hashing out our best ideas until we have something that we all

like or at least can live with, we are more likely to vigorously do what

we all decided, instead of drifting apart or failing to follow through.

Bringing More People into the Work and Keeping Them Involved

When someone shows up to a mutual aid group for the first time, full of

urgency about something they care about, and they do not understand why

things are being

done the way they are, or do not understand how things are being done,

and do not have a way to share their opinions and influence what is

happening, they are likely to leave. People come to contribute, but they

stay because they feel needed, included, and a part of something.

Nonprofits often offer very limited ways for volunteers to participate.

You can donate money, or maybe stuff envelopes, phonebank, or hand

something out at a parade or event. Volunteers’ relationships to those

groups are usually thin—they don’t have much influence in the group, and

while they may get some satisfaction from feeling like they helped, they

are not doing the core of the work.

Mutual aid groups, on the other hand, give people a way to build a deep

relationship to the work and to feel the power of doing important, bold

survival work together. The relations between a mutual aid group and the

people in it, then, is thick—it includes shared stew- ardship of the

group, and a chance to consider and influ- ence the project as a whole,

even if the focus is on one specific task like delivering the groceries

or answering the hotline.

Helping to Prevent Co-optation

Co-optation of projects and groups often starts with the co-optation of

individual people, often charismatic leaders or founders of projects,

who get bought off by elites through access to increased funding,

influence, a job, or other forms of status. When a small number of

people have the power to shift the direction of a project,

it can be hard to resist the incentives that come with co-optation.

Often, leaders are not the most vulnerable of the group’s members,

because being regarded as “persuasive,” “important,” or “authoritative”

relates to race, gender, age, language, and educational attainment. As a

result, a single individual or small group running a project may not be

the same people who have the most to lose if the project veers toward

elite interests. It is the most vulnerable of the participants who are

most likely to have objections to the shifts that come with co-opta-

tion, such as new eligibility requirements that cut out stigmatized

groups, or a new cozy relationship with law enforcement or

philanthropists.

Given these dynamics, some mutual aid groups estab- lish explicit

criteria or guidelines designed to make sure certain perspectives that

are often otherwise left out or marginalized are heard, such as agreeing

that decisions that break down around identity lines (for example, most

of the group’s women or currently undocumented people oppose a certain

proposal) will be reevaluated to assess a proposal’s alignment with the

group’s core prin- ciples. Some groups establish quotas about members of

decision-making bodies within the group, ensuring that groups

particularly likely to be left out are well repre- sented in those

bodies.

We Learn to Value and Desire Other People’s Participation

In addition to avoiding the problem of having majorities vote down

minorities and silence vulnerable groups,

consensus decision-making establishes a culture of desiring others’

participation. Decision-making systems focused on competition—on getting

my idea to be the one that wins—cultivate disinterest in other people’s

participation. Consensus decision-making requires participants to bring

forward proposals to be discussed and modified until everyone is

sufficiently satisfied that no one will block the proposal. This means

participants get to practice wanting to hear other people’s concerns and

other people’s creative approaches to resolving them. If the goal of our

movements is to mobilize hundreds of millions of people, we need to

genuinely want others’ participation, even when others bring different

ideas or disagree with how we think things should be done. Most people

will not stay and commit to intense unpaid work if they get little say

in shaping that work. We need ways of practicing wanting one another’s

participation, not just going along with what charismatic or

authoritative people say. In our culture, we get a lot of practice

either going along with bossy people or trying to be the boss. It’s time

to learn some- thing different.

Making Consensus Decision- Making Efficient and Effective

Here are five practices that set up efficient, effective consensus

decision-making:

Creating Teams

Creating a Decision-Making Chart

Practicing Proposal-Making

Practicing Meeting Facilitation

Welcoming New People

Creating Teams

When mutual aid projects are just getting off the ground, they often

have only a few people in them. With a small number of people—five or

less—it can be relatively quick and easy to discuss everything together.

As things get off the ground and more people join, it can be very useful

to create teams working on short- or long-term projects that report back

to the larger group for input on proposals or to submit proposals for

the group to decide on. Teams or pairs can come together to do quick

tasks between meetings, or a team can form as a long-term body within

the group. For example, an emerging project doing neighborhood grocery

delivery for immuno- compromised people may break off a small research

team to find out about best practices for sanitizing groceries between

purchase and delivery and bring back those ideas to the big group

meeting. They may also create a standing team that manages the requests

for support coming in through the group’s social media platforms and

online request form, and a team that assigns the deliveries. Groups can

form teams as they go, then change them, meld them, or break them into

multi- ple teams as conditions change and experiences inform the group.

Having teams and knowing who is on them can help delegate work so that

it doesn’t fall on only a few people. It can help people who are new to

the group know how

to plug in and get started doing something useful because it makes the

process by which work happens more transparent. It can help work get

done between meetings because people can work out details and present

proposals based on information they gathered and discussed with their

team. It can also help prevent decision-making from getting bottlenecked

at the whole- group level, if teams are authorized to develop and

implement certain parts of the work according to the whole group’s plans

and principles. The larger and more complex groups get, the more it may

also make sense to do more in-depth planning, such as planning out the

next six months of work and getting the whole group’s approval of that

plan so that each team can then manage its part of the whole.

Creating a Decision-Making Chart

A great way to prevent conflict and gain the efficiency and productivity

that task-specific teams can provide is to have a decision-making chart

that lets people know which decisions can happen in teams and which are

whole-group decisions. No decision-making chart can anticipate every

single possible decision a group can make, but putting some big ones on

there—especially ones more likely to be sensitive or cause conflict—can

help groups make decisions according to their princi- ples.

Decision-making charts should always be consid- ered to be working

documents. As groups try them out, they find out what is working and

what isn’t, and make changes accordingly.

Below is a sample decision-making chart for our example group that

delivers groceries to immuno- compromised people in the neighborhood.

Mine looks like a table, but it could really look like anything, include

any categories, or be made in whatever way meets a group’s needs. It

could be designed as a flow chart, a flower chart, circles, an

ecosystem, or whatever makes sense to the group.

Chart 6. Sample Decision-Making Chart

<quote> Decision </quote>| <quote> Who initiates? </quote>| <quote> Who

needs to be consulted? </quote>| <quote> Who can finalize the decision?

</quote>| <quote> Who needs to be informed and how? </quote>|

<quote> Adding a </quote>| <quote> Delivery </quote>| <quote> Whole

</quote>| <quote> Delivery </quote>| <quote> Whole </quote>|

<quote> new week- day for deliveries </quote>| <quote> Team (or anyone

can propose to Delivery Team) </quote>| <quote> group at monthly meeting

</quote>| <quote> Team </quote>| <quote> group by email and again at

monthly meeting </quote>|

<quote> Respond- </quote>| <quote> Communi- </quote>| <quote> Communi-

</quote>| <quote> Communi- </quote>| <quote> Report </quote>|

<quote> ing to </quote>| <quote> cations </quote>| <quote> cations

</quote>| <quote> cations </quote>| <quote> what the </quote>|

<quote> media inquiry </quote>| <quote> Team </quote>| <quote> Team can

reach out to anyone they need for quotes or an interview </quote>|

<quote> Team </quote>|

request was and how it was met, and any results, to whole group by email

and at monthly

<quote> meeting </quote>|

One common problem that groups address in these charts is how to make

fast-paced decisions, such as responding to media requests or a

coalition request to sign on to a letter or event that needs an

immediate response. Having a team or subgroup that is authorized by the

group to do a quick turnaround in these situa- tions can help groups

stay responsive while being grounded in a clear process. A

quick-response group that has two or three people who are well-versed in

the group’s principles can tell if something is easy to respond to

quickly, or if it is more complex and needs to go to a larger group for

a decision. The quick-response group is also responsible for letting the

whole group know imme- diately what quick decision was made so that

others in the group are not surprised to find out, for example, the

group has offered an endorsement, and so that people can offer input if

they disagree with that particular call. It can be beneficial to have

the quick-response group be a rotating role so that everyone gains

experience and no person or team becomes the group’s default deciders.

Some other items that might go on a decision-making chart:

Decisions about applying for or taking money

Decisions about spending money

Decisions about increasing the work in some significant way (a new

location, a new program, a new curriculum, a strategy for reaching a new

population)

Decisions to end some part of the work

Decisions to add new people or join larger groups or coalitions

Decisions to ask people to leave or about the group leaving larger

groups or coalitions

Decisions about endorsing something or someone

Decision to create a new paid role, eliminate a paid role, hire someone,

or fire someone

These are all decisions that I have repeatedly seen produce conflict in

groups, when someone—often a char- ismatic leader or founder—has made

the decision with- out consulting others and without a clear process.

Not every decision a group makes will go on the chart, but having a

chart that lists some decisions can help orient new members to how

decision-making works, increase transparency and consistency, and

prevent conflict.

Practicing Proposal-Making

We all do the Proposal  Discussion  Modifications

 Consensus process informally in social settings: I say I want to go

out for dinner. My friend suggests the place on the corner. I say it’s

too loud there, how about the old place? We agree. When dealing with

more complex deci- sions involving more people, it helps to actually

think of the decision as a proposal and develop it before the meeting.

For example, if our group has realized we need a database to track all

the people calling our hotline, and that we need it to be relatively

secure because our callers are undocumented and criminalized, and that

we need it

to be useable by people with a broad range of computer experience, we

might ask some group members to research existing options and come back

with a proposal that we can discuss. They will present what they

learned, tell us the pros and cons of various approaches, and propose

what they think is the best solution. Now the next conversation we have

can be based on good, well- researched information.

Treating something like a proposal rather than just an idea or a

preference means that group members take the time to think through and

research options, so that the whole group doesn’t become mired in

speculation or very small details. For example, if our group wants to

plan a fundraiser for someone’s transition from prison to life outside,

we might have a subgroup or team work on a plan for the party that

includes location, date, time, performances, outreach strategy,

accessibility, and other details, and bring that back to the next

meeting for everyone to discuss and modify. The process would be much

slower if as a large group we talked at length about all the details.

What happens when we discuss a proposal in our meeting and we do not

come to agreement? Usually, if the group thinks we eventually need to

figure this thing out (for example, we still need a database but we have

outstanding questions about the options, or we still want to have the

party but we realize we don’t know how much time our favorite performers

need on the program), the proposal can go back for further development.

It need not go back to the same people. Perhaps someone new wants to

take it on and address the outstanding

questions because they have access to helpful informa- tion, or they

have a good sense of the criteria that we are looking to meet, or they

have time between meetings to do this next step. Decision-making works

better if, rather than anyone seeing it as “my proposal,” we can see it

as the group’s proposal. That way we are less likely to become rigidly

attached to one outcome.

One helpful tool is for a group to have a proposal template. This can

especially help new people know how to get their ideas heard if they

have never been in a group that used a consensus process. Some groups

keep this kind of template in a shared folder (paper or elec- tronic) so

that everyone can access it. A proposal template could be as simple as

the following:

What problem does this proposal address?

What is the solution being proposed?

What teams might this proposal involve, and do you want to run it by any

of them before bringing it to the whole group?

Is there any research that could help flesh out this proposal before

people consider it?

You might also add a statement of the group’s shared purpose to the

proposal, since that guides group deci- sions. Some groups also add

questions that the group has decided should always be addressed when

moving forward, such as, “How will this proposal affect access to our

project for people with disabilities?” or “Does this proposal include

any financial costs, and if so what are they?”

Practicing Meeting Facilitation

How well or poorly we facilitate meetings will make or break our groups.

Skillful facilitation helps us make decisions together, feel heard and

included by each other, prevent and resolve conflict, celebrate our

accom- plishments and wins, grieve our losses, and become people who can

be together in new, more liberating rela- tionships. Bad facilitation

can make meetings boring, exhausting, oppressive, and damaging to

individuals and groups. Most of us have never been to well-facili- tated

meetings, so we don’t know how to create them without help from someone

who has more experience in how to do it. In other words, it’s worth

putting some attention to meeting facilitation in your group—and if no

one in your group has that experience, I hope the tools below and other

resources available online can help guide all of you as you decide what

works best for your group.

Some very basic elements of good meeting facilita- tion worth

considering are:

Start and end on time.

Write out an agenda (a list of what the group will talk about at the

meeting). If possible, circulate it to attendees ahead of time so they

can add items they want to discuss. At the beginning of the meeting, ask

again if there are missing items. If there are too many items for the

time allotted, work with the group to decide what can be discussed next

time or by a team in between regular meetings.

Assign a note-taker who will take notes that the group can refer back to

or share with people who couldn’t be at the meeting. Sometimes it is

nice to dedicate a space in the notes for a task list where, as we go,

we write down which tasks people have agreed to do. This can be a good

reference for group members between meetings and be reviewed at the

start of the next meeting to see if anything was left unfinished that

needs attention.

Assign each agenda item a time amount and have a time-keeper watch the

time so the group doesn’t end up running the meeting too long or not

getting to important items.

Provide food, beverages, poetry, a game, or music. Also consider opening

with a go-round check-in question that is funny or invites people’s

personalities to shine a little. We don’t want to be over-serious. We’re

here to work but also to know and enjoy each other!

To help the meeting be a participatory and supportive space, establish

group agreements. The group can agree, for example, that each person

will wait for three other people to speak before speaking again

(sometimes called “three before me”) or that they will respect people’s

pronouns, or whatever else the group decides will create a caring and

respectful space. Go over these agreements at the beginning of each

meet- ing and make sure newcomers understand them and get to ask

questions or suggest additions.

When talking about something important, if time allows, consider a

go-round so that the group hears from everyone. This is especially

important if the same people are usually talking and others are usually

quiet.

One way to establish some group norms about facili- tation is to have an

agenda template. This also helps people who are facilitating or making

an agenda for the first time. An agenda template may look like the

following:

Chart 7. Agenda Template

<quote> Date: </quote>| <quote> Note- Taker: </quote>| <quote> Time-

Keeper: </quote>| <quote> Meeting Facilitator: </quote>| <quote>

Attendees: </quote>|

|

<quote> Topic </quote>| <quote> Time </quote>| <quote> Facilitator or

Presenter </quote>|

<quote> Intros and Check-In Go-Around </quote>| <quote> 10 min.

</quote>|

|

<quote> Agenda Review </quote>| <quote> 3 min. </quote>|

|

<quote> Topic A </quote>| <quote> 20 min. </quote>|

|

<quote> Topic B </quote>| <quote> 15 min. </quote>|

|

<quote> Closing Go-Around </quote>| <quote> 10 min. </quote>|

|

Ahead of the meeting, facilitators are responsible for thinking through

how much time agenda items need, how to refresh the group on any

decision- making processes that the group has agreed to so everyone is

oriented, and how to create a warm and

participatory culture in the meeting. Facilitators often sort out these

questions in conversations with others, such as by asking people who

proposed things for the agenda how much time they need and how urgent it

is that the item be discussed at this meeting, by finding out if new

people are expected to come to this meeting, or by asking for help in

any aspect of agenda preparation.

Group dynamics are improved if facilitation rotates in the group along

with other roles like note- taking and time-keeping, so that people can

learn new skills and power dynamics don’t stagnate and rigidify. When

new people are asked to take on these roles, they should be given

support and guidance so they can have a satisfying experience of serving

the group in this way. Some groups find it beneficial to have all

meetings co-facilitated by two people.

People show up in groups to do important work, but we show up as our

whole selves, not work robots. We are social beings who evolved in

groups, and we have deep, ingrained desires for safety, dignity, and a

sense of belonging when we are with others. Good facilitation lets us

satisfy these desires, even in the presence of conflict and difference.

Welcoming New People

If we are going to win the big changes that we want and need so that

people can live with dignity and we can sustain human life on our

planet, we need to organize hundreds of millions of people who are not

yet politically active to take bold collective action together. We will

never have as much money and weapons as our opponents. All we have is

people power. We need to support people who have not been part of social

movement work to join social move- ments. They need to feel like they

can become part of a response to conditions that they find intolerable.

Mutual aid is the best onramp for getting people involved in

transformative action because they get to address things harming them

and their communities right away. To harness new people’s energy and

capac- ity for collective action, our groups need to be ready to welcome

them and, to paraphrase Toni Cade Bambara, make resistance irresistible.

We want them to join groups, have satisfying experiences of taking

action, build new skills, develop their own political understanding of

injustice, and stay in the resistance movement for the rest of their

lives. Movements grow because new people join groups and feel co-owner-

ship and co-stewardship of the work, and then recruit other people and

orient them so they get deep in too, and on and on.

Some things that help make groups and meetings accessible and

interesting to new people include:

Giving new people a chance to share why they care about the issues and

came to the group— many people are seeking to break their own isolation

and find a space where they can be heard and be part of a shared

understanding of the root causes of injustice.

Making meeting discussions as accessible as possible to new people by

providing a background of the problems the group is addressing and the

group’s activities so far; avoiding jargon, acro- nyms, and overly

technical theoretical language.

Giving new people a chance to share their ideas, even if the group has

thought about those ideas before.

Making the group’s facilitation process trans- parent to new people so

they don’t feel lost about what is going on or being discussed.

Making sure someone follows up with each new person after their first

meeting to find out if they have questions, how they want to plug into

the work, and if there is anything that would make the group more

welcoming to them.

Making careful decisions about agenda items and activities at meetings

focused on orienting new people, since some detailed group discus- sions

that need to happen about ongoing work might not be the most accessible

to newbies.

Helping new people plug into a clear role or task as soon as possible so

they feel a part of things.

One harsh reality in our currently under-developed, under-peopled,

under-resourced movements is that sometimes we are tired from doing all

the work, and sometimes we have feelings of resentment that more people

aren’t engaged. When we greet new people with exhaustion and resentment,

we rarely succeed in making

participation in our group irresistible. Making our meetings welcoming,

fun, warm, and energizing; making space for people to feel their rage

and grief about the issues we are organizing around; and cultivating

care and connection with one another strengthen the group and make the

work more sustainable, in addition to supporting the well-being of all

the participants.

Leadership Qualities That Support Mutuality and Collaboration

One thing we need to do to create strong, sustainable mutual aid

projects is shed the baggage of what we are told “leadership” is in a

racist, colonial, patriarchal society. That model is usually about

individuality, competition, and domination. We often think of leaders as

people in the spotlight, holding the mic. To win big, we need to build

leaderless and leaderful groups. This means we want lots and lots of

people involved, all of whom are building skills that help them do the

work and bring new people into the work. We want transparency in our

groups, so that our opposition can’t mess up our work by just

neutralizing or co-opting one person. We want everyone to have the

strength and skills to lead. The chart on the following pages can be a

tool for indi- viduals and groups to reflect on what we’ve been taught

about leadership and how to redefine it for ourselves.

Chart 8. Leadership Qualities

Domineering Leadership Cooperative Leadership

“Success” defined by dominating others or being the decider

Supports the growth of decision- making processes that include everyone

affected by the decision

“My way or the highway” attitude

Wants to find out how others are doing, what they need or believe, what

they want

Self-promoting Eager to help many people develop leadership skills and

share the spotlight, able to assess when some things should be done

under the radar rather than seek- ing attention

Concerned with maintain- ing reputation, looking like “the best,”

looking “right”

Willing to admit mistakes

Arrogant and superior Humble and dignified

Good at talking and commanding

Good at communicating: sharing and listening

Wins others’ support through status, fear, or because others see them as

most powerful

Wins support by being supportive, consistent, trustworthy

Domineering Leadership Cooperative Leadership

Certain they are right Open to influence and changing

their opinion

Concerned about the repu- tation of group with media or elites

Concerned about the group’s material impact—does it alleviate suffering

and increase justice?

Fosters competition in the group

Fosters compassion and a desire that no one is left out of the group

Suspicious of new people Generous and open to newcomers

while holding clear principles and boundaries

Impulsive—plans change with their whims

Holds steady to the groups’ deci- sions and purpose; reliable

Judgmental and quick to exclude others who aren’t like them or who

disagree

Can tolerate people being differ- ent in a lot of ways; sees poten- tial

in people to become part of the work for change and helps them develop

skills and abilities

Gets their sense of self from status

Self-accepting and steady in sense of self, and so able to take risks or

hold unpopular opinions

Cares most about what elites think

Cares most about what those on the bottom of hierarchies think and know;

works to cultivate authenticity

Domineering Leadership Cooperative Leadership

Needs to be the center of attention

Can take the risk of being seen, can step back so others can be seen

Tells people what to do Avoids advice-giving unless asked,

interested in supporting people to make decisions that align with their

values

Seeks immediate gains, even if it means big compromises

Sees the long view and holds to values

Gives demeaning feedback or fails to give feedback; gossips instead of

giving direct feedback

Gives direct feedback in a compassionate way

Defensive, closed to feedback

Open to feedback, interested in how they impact others

Controlling, micromanaging

Can delegate, can ask for help, wants more people’s participation rather

than more control

Outcome-oriented Supports processes with integrity

that lead to more people partici- pating in decision-making

Seeks and demands to feel comfortable at the expense of others feeling

uncomfortable

Interested in what can be learned from discomfort, from changing roles

or being out of place, from conditions transforming

Ways to use this chart:

Write or talk in your group about what is miss- ing from these lists.

Circle qualities you see in yourself that you are working to cultivate

and grow. What might help them grow?

Circle qualities you see in yourself that are obstacles to you

practicing cooperative leader- ship or that don’t fit your values. Where

did you learn those qualities? How have they served you? How have they

gotten in the way of what you want or believe in? What helps you move

toward acting in greater alignment with your values?

Notice qualities that are prevalent in groups you are in. What could

help cultivate qualities you think are beneficial and reduce ones that

are harmful?

A Cautionary Note on Fame

Social media has encouraged our individualism and has enhanced the

desire to “brand” ourselves as radical or as having the “right”

politics. It is in the interest of corpo- rations like Facebook and

Twitter that we spend as much time as possible creating free content for

them, and that we feel compelled to get approval on their plat- forms.

All of this can motivate us to want to be perceived to be doing things,

rather than actually doing them. Much mutual aid work is very ordinary,

sometimes boring, and often difficult. To return to an earlier exam-

ple, everyone wants a selfie with Angela Davis to post,

but many people do not want to take the time to visit prisoners, go to

court with people, wait in long lines at welfare offices, write letters

to people in solitary confine- ment, deliver groceries to an elderly

neighbor, or spend many hours in meetings about how to coordinate care

for people in need.

When we get our sense of self from fame, status, or approval from a

bunch of strangers, we’re in trouble. It is hard to stick to our

principles and treat others well when we are seeking praise and

attention. If we are to redefine leadership away from individualism,

competi- tion, and social climbing, we have to become people who care

about ourselves as part of the greater whole. It means moving from

materialist self-love, which is often very self-critical (“I will be

okay and deserve love when I look right, when others approve of me, when

I am famous”) and toward a deep belief that everyone, includ- ing

ourselves, deserves dignity, belonging, and safety just because we are

alive. It means cultivating a desire to be beautifully, exquisitely

ordinary just like everyone else. It means practicing to be nobody

special. Rather than a fantasy of being rich and famous, which

capitalism tells us is the goal of our lives, we cultivate a fantasy of

every- one having what they need and being able to creatively express

the beauty of their lives.

This is a lifelong unlearning practice because we have all been shaped

by systems that make us insecure, approval-seeking, individualist, and

sometimes shallow. Yet we also all have the deeply human desire to

connect with others, to be of service in ways that reduce suffer- ing,

and to be seen and loved by those who truly know us

and whom we love. Mutual aid groups are a place where we can notice

these learned instincts and drives in ourselves and unlearn them—that

is, make choices to act out of mutuality and care on purpose.

Handling Money

Handling money can be one of the most contentious issues for mutual aid

groups. Because of this, it can be very useful for groups to consider

whether this is some- thing they want to do. Some groups can do their

work without raising money at all. Some groups can do their work just

raising money through grassroots fundraising in their communities,

taking small donations from many people. That kind of fundraising can

avoid the problem with grant-making foundations attaching strings to

grant money and trying to control the direction of the work. Grassroots

fundraising can help build a sense that the community controls the

organizations rather than an elite funder, and doing grassroots

fundraising can be a way of spreading the ideas of the group and raising

awareness about the problems the group works on. However, even if money

is raised in this way, managing money still comes with pitfalls.

Handling money brings logistical issues that can cause stress and take

time, such as figuring out how to do it fairly and transparently and

figuring out how to avoid a problem with the IRS or otherwise expose

group members to legal problems. Because most people in our society have

a tangled, painful relationship with money that includes feelings and

behaviors of secrecy, shame,

and desperation, a lot of otherwise awesome people will misbehave when

money is around or get suspicious of others’ behavior.

Sometimes groups want funds so they can pay people to do the work. When

groups have no staff, it can be a challenge to do mutual aid work that

has to take place during typical workday times, such as accompanying

people to courts or social service offices. Staffing can increase

capacity to provide aid. But it is worth weighing some of the challenges

that paid staffing can bring. When groups that have operated on an

all-volunteer basis get money to pay staff, there is a greater danger of

institutionalization and pandering to funders, because someone’s

livelihood will be impacted if they lose the funders’ favor. Groups can

lose their autonomy, feeling pressured to direct their work toward

fundable projects or put time into measuring their work and reporting it

according to funders’ demands, rather than doing the work the way they

think is most effective.

To get funding, groups may want to become nonprof- its by applying to

the IRS, or get a nonprofit fiscal spon- sor so that they can receive

grants and/or tax-deductible donations. The downside is that this

requires financial tracking and administration skills. Becoming a

nonprofit sometimes concentrates power in the hands of people who have

had more access to these skills and systems, such as white people,

people with more formal educa- tion, and people with professional

experience, especially when having those skills becomes a prerequisite

for getting hired as staff. It also may bring government attention and

funder surveillance to the group and

cultivate a culture of timidity or risk aversion. In addi- tion, when

groups are dependent on funders, they have an incentive to declare false

victories or stick to strate- gies they have followed to win funding in

the past, even if those strategies are not working toward their purpose

anymore. We see this problem frequently in the nonprofit sector, where

an organization will purport to serve some population’s needs but in

reality serve only a small number of people—yet the public story is that

they have it covered. This can prevent new organizations from emerging

that can truly address more of the popula- tion’s need. When groups are

volunteer-based, people are more likely to admit their limitations and

scrap bad ideas, because they are motivated by purpose, not elite

approval.

Another pitfall of hiring paid staff is that when groups become staffed,

unpaid volunteers in the group sometimes expect that staff person or few

staff people to suddenly do all the work, and volunteers sometimes check

out (especially if they felt over- worked before the group started

paying staff). This can make the group vulnerable to a loss of capacity,

to becoming governed by just a few staffers, and to burn- out and

overwork of those staffers. It can also be a setup for new staffers to

be heavily criticized and considered to be “failures” because they are

over- loaded with responsibilities. In some groups, where people from

the most impacted communities are hired, and they are the same people

who have the least formal work experience in professional settings, this

can be a particularly cruel setup.

There can certainly be good reasons to seek funding and have paid staff

roles, but these steps should be taken with caution and with a focus on

building transparent and accountable systems regarding money and

decision- making. At least two people should always be working together

on tracking funds to help prevent theft. How money is earned and spent

should be clear to all group participants. The group’s values should

guide how money is spent—for example, the group should ensure that staff

are paid fairly and equally rather than on the basis of the privileged

status that comes with a profes- sional degree, and should ensure that

people are not pressured to overwork. Having clear and transparent

budgeting and planning processes that can be under- stood by all

participants, including people with no prior experience with such

processes, so everyone can weigh in and make decisions together will

help prevent the group from shrinking to become staff-centered, small,

and likely less mobilizing and relevant. The more that people in the

group can be aware of the dangers of insti- tutionalization and

philanthropic control, the more likely the group can stay committed to

its purpose and principles when handling money.

Burnout

Burnout is a reason people often give for why they leave mutual aid

groups. Burnout is more than just exhaus- tion that comes from working

too hard. Most often, people I meet who describe themselves as burnt out

have been through painful conflict in a group they were

working with and quit because they were hurt and unsatisfied by how it

turned out. Burnout is the combi- nation of resentment, exhaustion,

shame, and frustra- tion that make us lose connection to pleasure and

passion in the work and instead encounter difficult feel- ings like

avoidance, compulsion, control, and anxiety. If it were just exhaustion,

we could take a break and rest and go back, but people who feel burnt

out often feel they cannot return to the work, or that the group or work

they were part of is toxic.

These feelings and behaviors are reasonable results of the conditions

under which we do our work. We are steeped in a capitalist, patriarchal,

white supremacist culture that encourages us to compete, distrust,

hoard, hide, disconnect, and confine our value to how others see us and

what we produce. Our work is under- resourced in important ways. Many of

us come to the work because of our own experiences of poverty or

violence, and doing this work can activate old wounds and survival

responses. We come to the work to heal ourselves and the world, but we

often do the work in ways that further harm ourselves and impede our

contri- bution to the resistance. When our groups are focused on getting

important things done “out there,” there is rarely room to process our

strong feelings or admit that we do not know how to navigate our roles

“in here.”

Burnout is created or worsened when we feel discon- nected from others,

mistreated, misunderstood, ashamed, overburdened, obsessed with

outcomes, perfectionist, or controlling. Burnout is prevented or

lessened when we feel connected to others, when there is

transparency in how we work together, when we can rest as needed, when

we feel appreciated by the group, and when we have skills for giving and

receiving feedback. There are several things that groups can do to

cultivate conditions that prevent, reduce, or respond to burnout, and

there are things that individuals experiencing burn- out can do. Before

people who are burnt out leave groups, they often cause a lot of

disruption and damage, so this section is also aimed at reducing the

harm that burnt-out or overworked people can cause. Figuring out how to

have a more balanced relationship to work and overwork is a matter of

both individual healing and collective stewardship of the group.

Signs of Overwork and Burnout

High stress when thinking about tasks being performed by someone else

who might do it differ- ently, or the group coming to a different

decision than we would make.

Feelings of resentment: “I’ve done the most for this group” or “I work

harder than anyone else.” This can include creating a damaging group

culture of competition about who works the hardest.

Not respecting group agreements or group process because we feel above

the process as the founder or the hardest worker.

Feelings of competition with other groups that are politically aligned

or with other issues or activists that we perceive as receiving more

support.

Feelings of martyrdom.

Desire to endlessly be given credit for our work.

A desire to take on tasks and responsibilities in order to “be

important” to the group or control outcomes.

Feeling overwhelmed or experiencing depression and/or anxiety.

Feeling like we “have to” do all these things, cannot see any way to do

less work or have less responsibility.

Inability to let others take on leadership roles.

Hoarding information or important contacts so that others cannot rise to

the same level of leader- ship (this behavior is usually rationalized in

some way).

A life-and-death feeling that “it must be done the way I do it.” An

extreme version of this can result in leaders sabotaging the group or

project rather than recognizing that it may be time to step back and

take a break from leadership.

Paranoia and distrust about others in the group or other people working

in this kind of work. Feelings of being alone. Feelings of “me against

[members of the group/other groups/everyone].”

Over-promising and under-delivering, which can lead to feeling

fraudulent and afraid of being caught so far behind.

Having feelings of scarcity drive decision-making: “There’s not enough

money/time/attention.”

Having no boundaries with work—working all the time, during meals, first

thing upon waking

and last before sleeping, during time that was supposed to be for

connecting with loved ones. Not knowing how to do anything besides work.

Not having fun or feeling relaxed on vacation or days off.

Dismissal of the significance of group process and overvaluation of how

the group is perceived by outsiders such as funders, elites, and others.

Being flaky or unreliable.

Being defensive about all of the above and unwill- ing to hear critique.

“I’m doing so much, I’m kill- ing myself with work. How can you critique

me? I can’t possibly do any better/more!”

Shame about experiencing all of the above.

We also carry around fallback attitudes and behav- iors that can

undermine our principles, especially when we are stressed out and over

capacity. These can be behaviors we learned from dominant culture and

also roles we learned in our families. When we are stressed and

overworked, these things can come out in damaging ways. It can mean we

misuse or obstruct group processes, disappear from the work, or act from

a place of superi- ority or dominance on the basis of gender, race,

ability, class, or educational attainment.

How Mutual Aid Groups Can Prevent and Address Overwork and Burnout

Overwork is pervasive in mutual aid groups, and if we can move away from

shaming and blaming ourselves and

others and toward acknowledging it, we can support change. It is hard to

confront another person about behavior that is harmful, and it is hard

to be confronted about harmful behavior and listen to what is being

said. The ideas below do not change that, but they may help individuals

or groups create concrete steps to address the problems.

Make internal problems a top priority. The group cannot do its important

work if it is falling apart inside, and it cannot do its work well if it

is promising to do work it does not have the capacity to do. The

internal concerns cannot wait until later, because the giant need the

group exists to fill is probably not going to be reduced in the

immediate future. This does not mean the group’s work needs to stop, but

it may mean calling a morato- rium on new projects and commitments so

that the situ- ation does not worsen, and so that people can carve out

time for working on internal problems.

Groups working on internal problems might seek any of the following

resources:

Training in meeting facilitation, decision-making, consensus process,

active listening, giving and receiving direct feedback.

Facilitated discussions and training about how racism, ableism, sexism,

homophobia, transpho- bia, classism, and other systems of meaning and

control affect group development and culture, and how to change that.

Collective planning of the group’s work so that

participants build shared clarity on what the priorities are and what

they have agreed to do and not to do together.

Creating work plans for teams and/or individuals to figure out how to

assign work fairly, assess workload, and plan out a reasonable pace of

work.

Conflict mediation between particular people or groups working with a

facilitator who under- stands the group’s values and whom the people in

conflict trust and/or see as relatively neutral.

Work on building transparency in the group so that people know what each

other are doing, and allied groups doing similar or related work know

what the group is doing.

Regularly scheduled conversations where people can hear from each other

about what is going well and what needs work in the group’s dynamics, or

can discuss issues or concerns about their own role and ask for the

group’s assistance.

Make sure that new people are welcomed and trained to co-lead. This

means new people are given a full back- ground on the group’s work,

understand that they are being asked to fully participate in all

decisions, and have space to ask any questions they need to in order to

participate. Ensuring that everyone is getting access to what it takes

to co-lead is essential to building leader- ship among more people.

Group members and the group as a whole will be better off if many people

are leading, not just one or two.

Establish mechanisms to assess the workload and scale back. How many

hours is each member working? Is it beyond what they can do and maintain

their own well- being? Did they actually track their hours for a week to

make sure they are aware of how much they are working? Assess the

workload and scale back projects until the workload is under control.

Create a moratorium on new projects until capacity expands. Enforce the

morato- rium—no one can unilaterally take on new work for the group or

for themselves as a member of the group.

Build a culture of connection. How can the group’s meeting culture

foster well-being, goodwill, connection between members? Eating

together, having check-ins with interesting questions about people’s

favorite foods, plants, movies, or politicizing moments may feel silly

at first but makes a big difference. Bringing attention to wellness into

the group’s culture means helping members be there as multi-dimensional

people, rather than just as work or activist machines. People need to

build deep enough relationships to actually be able to talk about

difficult dynamics that come up, or those dynamics will fester.

Make sure that the facilitation of meetings rotates, including

agenda-making and other key leadership tasks. Rotating tasks can help us

address unfair workloads and transparency concerns. Making sure everyone

is trained on how to facilitate meetings in ways that maximize the

participation of all members of the group can help. Whenever there is a

danger that just a few people

will dominate an important conversation, use a go-around rather than

having people volunteer to speak. Quieter members speaking up can really

change the dynamic.

As a group, recognize the conditions creating a culture of overwork. It

is not one person’s fault, and everyone may be feeling the different

forms of pressure. Have one or many facilitated discussions about the

pressures and dynamics that lead to overwork or to an individual’s

dominating or disappearing behavior. Create a shared language for the

pressures the members may be under so they are easier to identify and

address moving forward.

What Individuals Experiencing Overwork and Burnout Need

In addition to creating group approaches to burnout, we can take action

in our own lives when we recognize our own symptoms of overwork and

burnout. This requires us to work on changing our own behavior and that

we be willing to examine the root causes of our impulses to over-commit,

to control, to overwork, or to disconnect. This is healing work aimed at

helping us be well enough to enjoy our work, make sustained lifelong

contribu- tions to the movements we care about, and receive the love and

transformation that is possible in communities of resistance. Above all,

we must take a gentle approach to ourselves, avoid judgment, recognize

the role of social conditioning in producing these responses in us, and

patiently and humbly experiment with new ways of being.

The compulsive worker, over-worker, or control freak might come to

understand their needs in the following ways:

I need trusted friends who I can talk to about what is going on, who I

can ask for honest feedback about my behavior, and who can help support

me and soothe me when I feel afraid of doing some- thing in a new way.

For example, these people might remind me that even though someone else

in the project will do this task differently, it is better to let them

do it so they can build their own skills and I can use the time for

something healing that has been missing from my life. These people might

help remind me that it will be okay if I say no to a task or project.

These friends can help me give love to the wounds underneath my

compulsive, compet- itive, or controlling behavior, reminding me that I

am worthwhile and my value does not hang on what the group does, how

much work I do, or what other people think of me.

I need supportive people who can also point out

compulsive, competitive, or controlling behavior or ideas when they hear

them from me or see me engaging in them. It can be difficult to receive

such feedback, but it is truly a gift.

When I get feedback from friends or collaborators about concerns they

have, I need to resist the impulse to defend myself or critique the way

they delivered their message. This feedback, including any anger they

express while sharing it, is likely a

sign that others think I am a leader and that what I do matters. They

are doing the hard and uncom- fortable task of raising a concern because

they see me as a person with influence. I can remember that, no matter

how it is delivered, this feedback is an investment in me and in our

work, and an act of love. I can seek out a friend separately to process

the difficult feelings that receiving this feedback brings up. The need

to avoid acting out my defen- siveness, or taking on a victim narrative,

is espe- cially important when I am in a position of privi- lege of any

kind and/or have more developed leadership in the group or project.

If I hate everyone I’m working with or feel like I am going to die or

like I have to stay up all night working, this is probably about

something older or deeper in my life, not about the current

work/workplace/group/coworker. If my heart is racing, if I feel

threatened, if I feel like I can’t get out of bed, if I feel like I

can’t speak to my coworker or I’ll explode, I am probably experi- encing

pain deeply rooted in my life history. To get out of this reactive

space, I need to devote resources to uncovering the roots of my painful

reactions and building ways of being in those feelings that don’t

involve acting out harm to myself or others (including the harm of

overworking). The first step is recognizing that my strongest reactions

may not be entirely or primarily about the work-related situation

directly in front of me, and being willing to slow down to explore what

is underneath.

I need a healing path for myself if I want to be part of healing the

world. What that looks like is differ- ent for everyone, and could

include individual or group therapy, 12-step programs (includ- ing

Workaholics Anonymous), exercise, body- work, spiritual exploration, art

practice, garden- ing, and building meaningful relationships with family

or friends. Whatever it is, I have to engage in a gentle way and be

careful that it does not become another thing to perfect or to try to be

the leader of. Pursuing a healing path can be a way to practice doing

things because they feel good rather than because they accomplish

something.

I need to stick around. It may be tempting to disappear altogether from

a group if relationships have gotten difficult and I am experiencing

nega- tive feelings about myself and others. If I want move toward a

more balanced role in the group, or even transition out altogether, I

need to do so gradually and intentionally. I need to transfer rela-

tionships and knowledge and skills that I hold and make sure that my

transition is done in a way that ensures support for the people

continuing the work.

Conflict

Working and living inside hierarchies does not teach us how to deal with

conflict. Most of us avoid conflict either by submitting to others’

wills and trying to numb out the impact on us, or by trying to dominate

others to

get our way and being numb to the impact on others. Our culture teaches

us that giving direct feedback is risky and that we should either

suppress our concerns or find ways to manipulate situations and get what

we want. We are trained to seek external validation, espe- cially from

people in authority, and often have few skills for hearing critical

feedback, considering it, and acting on what is useful. To survive our

various social posi- tions, we internalize specific instructions about

when and how to numb our feelings and perceptions, avoid giving

feedback, disappear, act defensively or offensively, demand appeasement,

or offer appeasement. As a result, we are mostly unprepared to engage

with conflict in generative ways and instead tend to avoid it until it

explodes or relationships disappear.

Conflict is a normal part of all groups and relation- ships. But many of

us still seem to think that if conflict happens, it means there is

something wrong—and then we seek out someone to blame. If we do work we

care deeply about with other people, we will experience conflict because

the stakes of the work feel very high to us, and that conflict is likely

to bring up wounds and reactions from earlier in our lives. This may

mean we revert to oppressive scripts and power dynamics from the

dominant culture.

The emergence of conflict does not have to mean that someone is bad or

to blame, and the more we can normalize conflict, the more likely we can

address it and come through it stronger, rather than burning out and

leaving the group or the movement, and/or causing damage to others. Some

of the reasons that conflict can

be so pitched in social movement groups include:

We have the strongest feelings about people who are closest to us. We

are more likely to be up at night stressing about a conflict with a

friend or collaborator than thinking about the mayor or some other

person whom we have a more distant relationship with.

When we come into movement spaces with high expectations and desires for

belonging and connection, disappointment is likely.

Sometimes we are so used to feeling excluded that we tune into that

familiar feeling quickly and easily, unconsciously looking for evidence

that we are different or are being slighted or left out.

Even good experiences, like finding a space that breaks our isolation by

joining a group with others who share our values or identities, can

bring up our conditioned thinking and feeling. We might feel like we

don’t deserve it or like we are fraudu- lent. We might even

unconsciously make up stories about what other people are thinking about

us.

Mutual aid work, by definition, responds to intense unmet needs and

brings stress and pres- sures that can heighten feelings and provoke

reac- tive behavior.

Given that conflict and strong feelings are inevitable if we are working

on something we love with people we care about, what can we do to cause

less harm to each other and our groups? How do we hold the strong

feelings that come up, and how do we survive the conflict without being

our worst selves to one another?

Here are three ways to check in with ourselves, get perspective, and act

based on our principles when conflict is coming up:

One. Get away for a quiet moment to feel what is going on inside. This

inquiry could also include talking to a friend or writing things down.

A lot of times when we perceive some kind of threat, we go on autopilot.

That autopilot could take the form of a obsessive critical thinking

about another person, self- hating thoughts, disappearing, picking a

fight, getting lost in work, getting wasted, or obsessing all night and

not sleeping. Whatever it is, it can help to ask ourselves about what

kinds of feelings are coming up. Paying care- ful attention to ourselves

can stop us from going with the autopilot reaction that might not be

aligned with our intentions, purpose, or values and might damage our

relationships.

Two. Remember, no one made us feel this way, but we are having strong

feelings and they deserve our caring attention.

It can be easy when we are hurt or disappointed to decide that another

person caused our pain. Certainly, others’ actions and inactions

stimulate feelings in us, but what feelings get stimulated, and how

strong they are, has a lot to do with ourselves and our histories.

Often,

when something really riles us up, it is because it is touching an old

wound or raw spot.

Three. Get curious about our raw spots.

We all have raw spots—things that bother us because of the insecurities

we carry or the way we were treated as kids at school or by our families

at home. Other people do not know our raw spots—we sometimes do not know

them ourselves—so people are often surprised at the impact of their

actions on our feelings. We can become curious about our own raw spots,

finding origins in childhood experiences, the cumulative impact of

micro- aggressions and systemic harm, or other sources. When someone

brushes a raw spot, we can have a big reac- tion—sometimes acting

outward toward them, some- times harming ourselves. The trick is to

realize that our raw spots belong to us, rather than us being hostage to

them, and that we can experience the feelings, notice them, and decide

how to move forward, rather than having the feelings drive our behavior.

For example, imagine my feelings got hurt by a person in my mutual aid

group who did not follow through on something. If I then launched an

informal campaign to get other people in the group to perceive my flaky

collaborator as a person lacking integrity, and to get them pushed out

of the group, or if I refused to work with them anymore, we could lose a

lot. If I know their actions hit my raw spot, I can observe my feelings

coming up, being aware that they may not be propor- tional to what

happened, and that my feelings are not my flaky collaborator’s fault. I

can hold off on

campaigning against them and find right-sized action to address my

concerns for the good of all.

What Else Is True?

When we find ourselves obsessing over an opinion, story, or judgment, it

can often be helpful to ask, “What else is true?” For example, when

conflict is emerging and we have strong feelings, we might ask:

What else is true about this person/group/space? Can I think of any of

their positive qualities? Can I think of any way that I benefit from

their actions? In addition to what they did that I dislike, are there

also other experiences that show a more full picture, demonstrate good

intentions, or balance any vengeful feelings toward this person?

Might there be things I’m unaware of that are contributing to this

situation or behavior?

What else is true about my life that counterbal- ances this situation?

What else is in my life? What percentage of my time is spent in this

space or with this person? What else do I do and have? Does this

situation feel like it occupies 80 percent of my mind space, while this

group actually only takes up 5 percent of my week? If I am afraid of

what this person thinks of me, can I think of other people who I know

that admire, care about, and respect me?

Is this situation or person my responsibility? Is this something I can

control? If not, can I imagine

letting go, even just 5 percent or 10 percent, to gain some peace of

mind?

Are there ways that I am particularly activated by this that might have

to do with my own history and experiences? Are there ways to give myself

attention or care around these wounds?

Are there any ways that I am stepping into a famil- iar role with my

strong feelings about this person? In my inner reality, did I cast us

into roles that relate to my family of origin or other formative groups?

Use Direct Communication before Using Gossip and Social Media

Sometimes the first impulse we have when we are hurt is to make our hurt

known—through negative gossip or on social media platforms. Negative

gossip and accusa- tory posts can hurt the person doing the gossiping,

the target, the group, and the movement. It usually magni- fies

conflict. This doesn’t mean that we should not share difficult

experiences we are having so we can access support. We often need to

speak with a friend to help clarify what we are feeling, get affirmation

of our expe- rience, talk through possible responses, and get sympa-

thy. So, how can we tell if we are engaging in negative gossip that

might harm someone? Here are several ques- tions we can ask ourselves:

Who am I telling? If you are having strong feelings about someone in

your mutual aid group, talking about them negatively behind their back

with

other people in the group is likely to harm group dynamics and create a

culture that will drive some people away. Talking to a therapist or a

friend who is not part of the group is less likely to be harmful.

Telling the stories on social media is likely to have many harmful and

possibly unintended impacts on everyone involved.

Am I campaigning? What are my motivations in telling this? Am I trying

to get support and process my experience, or am I trying to get other

people to think badly about this person?

Am I mocking them, laughing at them, or other- wise being cruel? If the

content of what you are sharing is something you would not consider

compassionate or constructive feedback, some- thing you would never say

to their face, it may be malicious gossip. Any time we are feeling

justified dehumanizing people in our movements and social circles, it is

good to pause and ask, “What else is true?” We might be reacting to a

deep wound that needs our attention, and causing damage along the way.

Am I building my obsession with someone’s faults? Is the choice to talk

about this person’s behavior or qualities right now going to help me be

clear about my choices and feelings, or is it building a habit of

thinking too much about this person and cultivating hyper-criticism of

them?

Giving direct feedback is hard. Rather than saying, “It was difficult

for me when you did not follow through

with the tasks you took on at the meeting,” or “I wonder why you didn’t

ask me to join that team,” it is easier to project negative feelings and

malicious behaviors onto the other person and gossip about it. This is

likely to feel bad and damage relationships. When a lot of people in

groups or scenes are doing this, it can make for broad conditions of

distrust, anxiety, and betrayal, and can augment hierarchies of

valuation and devaluation, making groups unstable and more vulnerable to

disrup- tion by law enforcement.

We live in a society based on disposability. When we feel bad, we often

automatically decide that either we are bad or another person is bad.

Both of these moves cause damage and distort the truth, which is that we

are all navigating difficult conditions the best we can, and we all have

a lot to learn and unlearn. If we want to build a different way of being

together in groups, we have to look closely at the feelings and

behaviors that generate the desire to throw people away. Humility,

compassion for ourselves, and compassion for others are antidotes to

disposability culture. Examining where we project on others and where we

react strongly to others can give us more options when we are in

conflict. Every one of us is more complex and beautiful than our worst

actions and harshest judgments. Building compassion and accountability

requires us to take stock of our own actions and reactions in conflict,

and seek ways to treat each other with care even in the midst of strong

feelings.

Working with Joy

It is not surprising that most of us have distorted relation- ships to

work, including work in mutual aid groups. The conditions and systems we

live under make work coercive, create severe imbalances in who does

which kind of work and for what kind of compensation and recognition,

and make it hard to feel like we have choices when it comes to work.

Working to change the world is extremely hard because the conditions we

are up against are severe. We cannot blame ourselves for having a

difficult relationship to our work, even though we understand that

learning to work differently is vital for our movements and for our own

well-being and survival. We must be compassionate to ourselves and each

other as we practice transforming our ways of working together.

We need each other badly to share what is hard about the overwhelming

suffering in the world and the challenge of doing work for change in

dangerous conditions. Even in the face of the pain that being awakened

to contemporary conditions causes, all of our work for change can be

rooted in the comfort and joy of being connected to one another,

accompanying one another, and sometimes being inspired by each other.

Reflecting deeply about our own orientations toward work—what it feels

like to participate in groups, what ideas we are carrying around about

lead- ership and productivity—is crucial to building a practice of

working from a place of connection, inspiration, and joy. This means

intentionally creating ways to practice a new relationship to work, and

diving into the psychic structures underlying our wounds from living and

working in brutal, coercive hiearchies. The following chart may be a

useful reflection tool for individuals and groups trying to change

harmful cultures and practices of work.

Chart 9. Workaholics Anonymous’s “Working Joyfully”

Working Compulsively Working Joyfully

Very long hours Setting boundaries

Impossible standards Reasonable goals Insatiable, never done Content

with a day’s work Tightly scheduled Room for the unexpected

Adding more work No adding without subtracting Unable to estimate time

Realistic time allotment

Non-stop Pausing for change of pace, focus, new ideas

False deadlines Appropriate timing

Driven, adrenalized Feeling of being in flow

Sense of urgency Relaxed about time

Must complete work Can delay task

Confusing urgency with importance

Able to prioritize

Reacting to pressure Following inner guidance

Mentally scattered Focused

Inefficient Effective

Mistakes: misplace, drop, spill

Doing it right the first time

Rigid Flexible

Intolerant of new ideas Open-minded

Impatient Calm

Working Compulsively Working Joyfully

Perfectionistic Learning from mistakes without blaming

Tense Relaxed

Loss of humor Keeping a humorous perspective

Loss of creativity Flow of novel solutions Overly serious and intense

Able to be playful

Not enjoyable Finding work pleasurable Abrupt with colleagues Responsive

to others Loss of spontaneity Open to the moment

Out of touch with feelings Aware of moods

Doing many things at once Doing one thing at a time Body/mind out of

sync Unity of thought and action Rushing Leisurely paced

Blurred perception Vivid impressions

Unaware, mechanical Mindful

Quantity-oriented Quality-oriented

Little delegation Trust in colleagues

Racing the clock In sync and respectful of time

Exhaustion Happy tiredness

Struggle Feeling of ease

Feeling of being a victim Feeling completed Neglecting health Nurturing

self Can’t hear body signals Knows when to rest Neglecting rest of life

Balanced life

Worry, overplanning Staying in the now

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is an insidious and harmful force in our mutual aid groups

and in our own psyches. “I’m not a perfectionist, everything I do is so

imperfect!” we say to ourselves. Exactly. Nothing is good enough. We

live in a very materialist culture that tells us we need to have the

“perfect” body, sexuality, family, consumer goods, home, and job. Even

those of us who know those norms are bullshit still struggle with the

patterns of perfectionist thinking and behavior they can create. In our

personal lives this can give us anxiety and feed painful misperceptions

of ourselves.

Perfectionism can shrink our mutual aid groups, caus- ing them to be

exclusive, producing conflict, and feeding dynamics of overwork and

burnout. Perfectionism some- times appears as a fear of saying anything

that is politi- cally off-base and being judged, so that people don’t

share their opinions; or are wildly defensive if someone ques- tions

something they said; or quickly attack or exclude anyone who doesn’t use

the same jargon as them or is still learning something they already know

about. These tendencies can create cliquishness and make it hard to grow

our groups and movements. Perfectionism can also lead to people being

overly controlling of group work, which can mean work does not get

delegated and the same few people are doing everything. It can mean that

people who started the group are patronizing to people who come in later

and do things differently.

Whenever we see inflexibility in ourselves or in a group culture, there

are opportunities for healing from

social conditioning and cultivating new ways of being. The chart and

reflection questions below are tools to use by yourself or in a group to

begin to unlearn perfection- ism. Check anything that feels familiar.

Chart 10. Perfectionism Checklist

Setting Even More Demanding Standards

Doing well isn’t good enough, I have to do better.

If I don’t strive, I am a lazy and useless person.

Other people or groups are producing more, reaching further, or getting

more praise.

Fear of Failure

I must do things perfectly.

I must not fail.

I can’t have others think poorly of me.

If I try, then I will only fail.

If I put myself out there, then others will think badly of me, I should

keep quiet.

All-or-Nothing Thinking

If I have conflict in this group, everything is ruined and I have to

quit.

My work is never good enough.

There is a right way and a wrong way to do things.

If some people are critiquing me, I should just leave this group.

Shoulds, Musts

I can’t make any mistakes or others will realize what I am really like.

I should already know everything about this topic.

I should already be able to do this the same or better than others.

Any mistake will expose me as a fraud.

Constant Checking

I have to go over any work I do, several times, before I can show it to

anyone else.

I have to keep checking in with others to make sure I am liked, look

okay, didn’t say anything wrong, etc.

I check my social media likes, my appearance, my bank account, my email

constantly.

Self-Control

I must work all the time or I will become a lazy slob.

I have to work extremely hard in order to deserve a treat or a rest.

Structure, Control

I must know what is going to happen.

I must be prepared for possible outcomes.

I can’t let anyone else do a task in case it goes wrong.

Procrastination

I can’t start because I’m afraid I will do it wrong.

I feel dread and a sense of avoidance about my task because of my fear

of failure, exposure, humiliation.

I feel deadened by overwhelming shame or grief that I am suppressing.

Reflection Questions:

Where does perfectionism show up in my life? School work, job, family

interactions, how I regard my body, activism, social media interac-

tions, housework? What is the cost?

How might I be applying perfectionist standards to others? When am I

intolerant of others’ learn- ing processes or differences? Where did I

learn that? What emotions motivate that? What is the

cost of this intolerance to my relationships, to my work, to my

principles and purpose in the world?

Does our group culture enable or produce perfec- tionist behaviors? If

so, how? How does it impact our group work, relationships with each

other, and relationships to people who come to our project for help or

to volunteer? How could we add more flexibility, care, compassion, and

trust to our group culture?

Mad Mapping

Doing mutual aid work often brings some level of stress or pressure,

because we are meeting urgent needs, learn- ing new skills, working in

groups, and taking on new responsibilities. These are the same things

that make the work meaningful, satisfying, and pleasurable. But pres-

sure and stress can bring out patterned emotional responses and

autopilot reactions and behaviors. Learning to notice the patterns and

plan for them can help us make choices or get support at key moments so

that our actions can be as beneficial as possible to ourselves and the

people around us.

One technique to learn these patterns in ourselves is to use a “mad

map”—a guide we can make for ourselves that we can turn to when things

go sideways or we feel ourselves slipping into more difficult states. A

mad map can be like a gift to your future self, to help navigate the

potentially dangerous waters of stress or conflict. It can guide you

through the wild thinking, feeling, and behav- iors that emerge when

things are really rough, reminding

you what helps and what harms during such times. Your mad map can have

any content you want. It can be illus- trated, or include songs,

physical movements, or images—whatever feels best. Below are just some

starter ideas and examples of potential content. Some people share their

mad maps with friends and loved ones. You can include sections on how

other people can support you when you are in difficulty or crisis, and

what you do or do not want them to say or do if you are struggling. (I

learned about mad mapping from the Icarus Project, and you can find more

information in the resource list at the end of this book.)

Signs of Difficulty under Pressure

Some areas to think about when making this section might include:

Overly self-critical thoughts (about your contribu- tions to the group,

your appearance, personality, intelligence, etc.).

Overly critical thoughts about other people.

Feeling insecure in the group or like people are out to get you, don’t

like you, are talking about you, excluding you.

Obsessing over details.

Taking on too many tasks even though you know you’re already overloaded.

Feeling controlling about how things get done in the group, not wanting

to let other people do it differently.

Avoiding tasks, flaking, becoming vague.

Obsessively checking anything (social media, email, reflection in the

mirror, your work, other people’s work, your health, your money).

Overworking on anything (house cleaning, paid job, activist work, art

project).

Letting the physical space around you get chaotic.

Not eating or eating in ways that make you feel bad.

Not taking regular meds or supplements that are helpful to you.

Misusing alcohol, drugs, shopping, video games, TV, social media.

Avoiding people you love.

Avoiding work that is meaningful to you.

Avoiding work you need to do to survive.

Not taking care of bills, paperwork, other logisti- cal necessities.

Escaping through sex or romantic highs.

Lack of sleep or oversleeping.

Over-exercising or not moving enough for what your body/mind needs right

now.

Any other compulsive behavior that, in your expe- rience, suggests

imbalance.

Guidelines for Greater Wellness

In this section, try to set realistic expectations, not pie- in-the-sky

guidelines that will cause shame or feelings of inadequacy if they are

not met. You can always increase and adjust later. Be aware of harsh

“should” messages

that may show up here, which many of us have in areas of eating, work,

exercise, money, sex, and so on. Being mindful to avoid perfectionism,

focus on gentle realistic steps toward greater balance.

This section might include things like:

A limit on the number of times per day you check email, social media,

news, etc.

Limits on amount of or number of times of day you engage in particular

escapist or toxifying behaviors.

Goals for how often and in what ways you want to move your body.

Goals for making sure you feed yourself in nour- ishing ways.

Goals for meditation, spiritual practices, or anything else that would

help but might be falling away right now.

Types of media or apps you want to avoid or delete.

Limits on amount of or number of times you use social media (for

example, not upon waking or before bed).

Goals for getting outdoors or interacting with the natural world.

People you want to be connected to, how often and in what ways.

People you need to limit your exposure to and what those limits are.

Sleep schedules or other rest plans.

Limits on working hours, creating days off or

other limits on work, including unpaid activist or artistic work if you

are overworking in those areas.

Timelines for taking care of essential paperwork or logistics.

Baseline activities to maintain physical space and hygiene.

Bonus Activities That Help

The previous section is a baseline set of goals you are committing to.

This section can include things you may aspire to do, things you know

would feel good, things that are lovely extras to improve your state of

being.

Kinds of movement or exercise that are fun and feel good.

Cooking adventures.

Gardening.

Literature, music, art you want to make or read, listen to, look at.

Spiritual practices you want to try or return to.

Additional ways you want to connect with loved ones.

Additional activities that may boost your mood or sense of purpose,

connection, or self-worth.

Ways to beautify your space.

Ways you want to be generous to others.

Things you want to try to improve your sleep, reduce your pain, break

your isolation, generate a more structured routine, break up a

monotonous routine.

Unhelpful/Untrue Thoughts

Painful or difficult thinking increases when we are under pressure.

Often it will be familiar thinking that has appeared in other difficult

times, feeding harmful behav- iors that disconnect us from ourselves and

others. Noticing these thoughts and behaviors can give us a chance to

interrupt them and see if they can be reduced.

Scarcity thoughts (about anything—food, money, work, self-worth, sex,

health):

I’m not doing enough.

I’m doing everything and no one is helping.

I’m not going to have what I need.

I better get mine before everyone else takes it all.

There are not enough people in this group.

There is not enough time.

Hopeless thoughts like:

There is no point in trying.

I have lost everything.

I ruined everything.

Nothing every works out for me/us.

Self-hating thoughts like:

I’m a fraud.

I am undesirable.

I am the worst.

I don’t deserve help/care/support/love/admira- tion/survival.

I am a bad person.

Superiority thoughts like:

No one else can do this right.

No one else can see the truth like I can.

Everyone else is handling this incorrectly.

Any criticism or feedback about my behavior is incorrect/inappropriate.

Helpful Truths to Remember

In this section, call on your most centered self, your inner adult, your

inner kind parent, your highest spirit- ual self, or however you think

of that part of you that can offer a compassionate perspective. Go

through your unhelpful thoughts list, above, and explore what the part

of you thinking each thought needs to hear or remember to diffuse the

untrue thought’s power. The examples below may help you generate your

list.

The work I am doing in this group is difficult and the conditions we are

facing are severe. It is okay that we can’t meet everyone’s needs at

once or solve everything.

It is okay for me to place limits on what I can do for others and say no

to things.

Everyone deserves to exist, including me.

I don’t have to do anything perfectly. We are imperfect people doing

imperfect work.

It is okay to try new things. I can stop whenever I want.

I am neither the best nor the worst. I am learning just like everyone

else here. I have wisdom and experience to offer just like everyone

else.

I cannot read minds. If I think someone does not like me, ignored me, or

was mean to me, it may be a misinterpretation of their behavior.

I don’t have to like everyone in this group to care about them all. I

can stretch myself to be kind and caring to people even if we have

different styles of interaction. I can choose to notice what values we

have in common and what is beautiful about their contribution, rather

than focusing on criticizing them.

My contribution will be more sustainable and of greater service if it

comes from a sense of choos- ing to act on purpose than if it is

motivated by guilt or a sense of inadequacy. If I am choosing to do

things on the basis of those feelings, I can take a pause to reconnect

to my purpose and make intentional choices about what kinds of tasks and

responsibilities I can take on.

Controlling feelings are a normal response to social conditioning, but I

don’t have to act on them. I can remind myself to trust the wisdom of

the group, let others learn by doing, and offer my contributions with

generosity and flexibility.

Avoidant feelings are a normal response to social conditioning, but I

don’t have to act on them. I can remind myself of the feelings of

purpose that guide me and then make a practical, reasonable action plan

for following through with my commitments. I can ask friends to help

with accountability on tasks if needed.

All that I choose to do will be better for me and others if it doesn’t

come from a “must” and “should” feeling, but instead from sober discern-

ment of how I can care for myself and others.

Everyone experiences ego issues when doing work together, not just me.

But I don’t have to let those fears and insecurities guide me. I can

remember the true collective purpose of this work and have compassion

for the parts of me that want attention or credit.

I can remember the ways that I am loved and seen by friends and people

in my group.

Conclusion:

Everything Is at Stake and We’re Fighting to Win

The only thing that keeps those in power in that position is the

illusion of our powerlessness. A moment of freedom and connection can

undo a lifetime of social conditioning and scatter seeds in a thousand

directions.

—Mutual Aid Disaster Relief

In May 2020, in the midst of a global pandemic that exposed the

brutality of racist, capitalist health systems and the frailty of social

safety nets, Minneapolis police brutally murdered George Floyd, sparking

global protests against anti-Black racism and police violence. The

mutual aid projects that had been mobilizing during the first months of

the pandemic became vectors of participation in the growing protests.

Millions of people participated in new ways in this moment—providing

food, masks, hand sani- tizer, water, medical support, and protection to

each

other while fighting cops and white supremacists in the streets,

organizing and supporting funds for crimi- nalized people, pressuring

schools and other institu- tions to cancel contracts with the police,

and more. In the first two weeks of the protests alone, an unprece-

dented 3.5 million people donated to bail funds around the United

States. As organizers demanded the defund- ing and dismantling of police

departments, vibrant conversations about transformative justice emerged,

with more and more people learning about the possi- bilities of

addressing conflict and violence through mutual aid rather than

criminalization.

In Seattle, after days of confrontations police aban- doned the East

Precinct, and protesters established an autonomous zone around it,

taking up several blocks and a park. With the withdrawal of the police

and most businesses closed already because of COVID-19, the zone, like

earlier Occupy encampments and other similar spaces where protesters

have taken public space, became a site of experimentation where prac-

tices of governance, co-stewardship, leadership, deci- sion-making, and

collective care were being debated and innovated. Mutual aid projects

emerged in this space to provide mental health support, food, water,

medical care, masks, spiritual support, haircuts, cloth- ing, conflict

mediation, and more.

At the same time that the mobilizations against policing and for Black

lives were growing, scientists announced that May 2020 had been the

hottest May on record and that 2020, like the ten preceding years, would

likely be another record-breakingly hot year;

the Trump administration announced it intended to open the Atlantic

Maritime Monument to commer- cial fishing and waive environmental review

for infra- structure projects; the EPA slashed clean water protec-

tions; climate change–induced permafrost melt caused the largest oil

spill in Russia’s history; and scientists announced that carbon dioxide

levels were at a record high despite reduced emissions during the

pandemic. Everywhere we look, we see signs that the systems we have been

living under are collapsing, and something new must emerge if we are to

survive.

As the world faces the ongoing crises of the COVID-

19 pandemic, a worsening economic depression, climate change, and

domination by illegitimate and racist policing, criminalization, and

border enforce- ment systems and militaries, it is clear that mutual aid

projects are essential to the broader ecosystem of polit- ical action.

Mutual aid helps people survive disasters of all kinds, mobilizes and

politicizes new people, and builds the new systems and ways of being

together that we need. The stronger we build our mutual aid projects,

the more lasting our mobilizations can be.

Mutual aid is essential to the other tactics that make up our movements,

not only because it is the way to onboard millions of new people into

lasting movement participation, but also because it supports all the

other strategies. Decades of work developing transformative justice

projects provide an alternative vision for community support as we push

to end police budgets and redirect resources toward human need. Bail

funds, legal defense campaigns, and prison

letter-writing projects support those criminalized for bold actions

against the police and corporations. Street medics treating tear gas and

rubber bullet inju- ries make street battles with police for days on end

possible. Healing justice projects and conflict media- tion projects

help us live together in police-free zones. Mutual aid is essential to

all of our resistance work.

Moments of crisis and transformative organizing empower increasingly

bold actions of mutual support. On June 1, 2020, Washington, DC, police

surrounded protesters on a residential street intending to arrest them

for violating the 6 p.m. curfew imposed by the city to quell uprisings

over George Floyd’s murder. As police began making their arrests, people

living on the street opened their doors to let protesters take shelter

in their homes. Police tried to remove the protesters, even throw- ing

tear gas into the windows. But the residents kept the protesters inside

overnight, feeding them and meeting their needs. This open refusal of

police authority and willingness to take risks for one another

illustrates the vibrant possibilities of solidarity and mutual aid.

The same week that residents were defending protesters in DC, bus

drivers around the United States refused to allow police to commandeer

public buses for making mass arrests. Despite offers of overtime pay to

drive buses for this purpose, bus drivers organ- ized a shared

resistance to cooperating with police. The bus drivers’ union in

Minneapolis issued a state- ment declaring that their drivers have the

right to refuse to transport arrested protesters and refuse to transport

police to protests.

Ideally, our experiments with mutual aid and soli- darity become bolder

and bolder as experiences with our shared authority emancipate us from

the illegiti- mate authority of dominant systems. This has been visible

in increasing actions to protect immigrants from ICE arrests. In July of

2019, community members in Nashville, Tennessee, surrounded a man in his

car to protect him from ICE agents who had come for him. At the same

time, mutual aid groups all over the country were organizing to hide

immigrants, to warn immi- grants of coming ICE raids, to care for the

families of detainees and deportees, and to block buses leaving

immigration prisons to bring people to airports for deportation. These

same groups were also often tied in with campaigns to shut down the

immigration prison in their region or stop the building or expansion of

an immigration prison, to get local ordinances to ban ICE from using

local airports for deportation, to block collaboration between ICE and

local law enforcement in various ways, or to withdraw the business

license of a private prison used to cage immigrants.

These anti-ICE efforts provide a picture of how mutual aid ties in with

strategies aimed at beating back the explosive growth of racist state

violence, and build- ing courage among participants to take more and

more direct action to protect each other. As crises mount, our

organizing could inspire people to greater daring, using our people

power to block ICE and the police from arresting people, block marshals

attempting to evict tenants, and even to prevent military forces from

occu- pying territory. We might reach a level of mobilization

where we free our own people from prison, rather than asking that their

captors free them, and where we redis- tribute stolen wealth rather than

asking that it be taxed and spent differently. Our movements must

contend with the structures in place in order to dismantle the weapons

they use against our communities, and simul- taneously build new ways of

surviving that are based in our principles of liberation and collective

self-determi- nation. We must imagine and build ways of eating,

communicating, sheltering, moving, healing, and caring for each other

that are not profit-centered, hierarchical, and destructive to our

planet. We must practice co-governing, creating participatory,

consent-based ways of cooperating that are not based in militarism.

Mutual aid work plays an immediate role in help- ing us get through

crises, but it also has the potential to build the skills and capacities

we need for an entirely new way of living at a moment when we must

transform our society or face intensive, uneven suffer- ing followed by

species extinction. As we deliver groceries, participate in meetings,

sew masks, write letters to prisoners, apply bandages, facilitate rela-

tionship skills classes, learn how to protect our work from

surveillance, plant gardens, and change diapers, we are strengthening

our ability to outnumber the police and military, protect our

communities, and build systems that make sure everyone can have food,

housing, medicine, dignity, connection, belonging, and creativity in

their lives. That is the world we are fighting for. That is the world we

can win.

Resource List

This book expands upon the author’s previous writ- ing and worksheets

published in Social Text and Medium

. A teaching guide to accompany this book is available online at <http://v

.versobooks.com/Mutual_ Aid_Teaching_Guide.pdf>. Below are more

resources, some cited in this book.

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video series. bcrw.barnard.edu.

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Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 2018.

bergman, carla, and Nick Montgomery. Joyful Militancy: Building Thriving

Resistance in Toxic Times. Chico, CA: AK Press, 2017.

Big Door Brigade. bigdoorbrigade.com.

Butler, C.T. Lawrence, and Amy Rothstein. On Conflict and Consensus: A

Handbook on Formal Consensus Decisionmaking. theanarchistlibrary.org.

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Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement. Chico,

CA: AK Press 2019.

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2010.

Flaherty, Jordan. No More Heroes: Grassroots Challenges to the Savior

Mentality. Chico, CA: AK Press, 2016.

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———. The Revolution Will Not Be Funded. Durham, NC: Duke University

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the Rise of Black Power. New York: Vintage, 2011.

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November 2016. movementgeneration.org.

Mutual Aid Disaster Relief. mutualaiddisasterrelief.org. Mutual Aid Hub.

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Nelson, Alondra. Body and Soul: The Black Panther Party and the Fight

against Medical Discrimination. Minneapolis: University of Minnesota

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Builders Can Learn from the Case of Occupy Sandy.” 2014.

thetempworker.wordpress.com.

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That Arise in Disaster. New York: Penguin, 2010.

South End Press Collective, ed. What Lies Beneath: Katrina, Race, and

the State of the Nation. Cambridge, MA: South End, 2007.

Spade, Dean, and Roberto Sirvent. “Abolition and Mutual Aid Spotlight”

interview series. blackagendareport.org.

Strike Debt. Shouldering the Costs: Who Pays in the Aftermath of

Hurricane Sandy? 2012. strikedebt.org.

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for Membership-Based Organizations. May 2013. srlp.org.

Thuma, Emily. All Our Trials: Prisons, Policing, and the Feminist Fight

to End Violence. Champaign: University of Illinois Press, 2019.

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Tufekci, Zeynep. “How Hong Kong Did It: With the Government Flailing,

the City’s Citizens Decided to Organize Their Own Coronavirus Response.”

The Atlantic, May 12, 2020. theatlantic.com.

Walia, Harsha. Undoing Border Imperialism. Chico, CA: AK Press, 2013.