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Title: Less Within, More Between
Author: dot matrix
Date: 2004/05
Language: en
Topics: AJODA, AJODA #59, feminist
Notes: Originally published in “Anarchy: A Journal of Desire Armed” #59 / Spring-Summer 2004–5, Vol. 23, No. 1.

dot matrix

Less Within, More Between

caveat: Both feminists and anarchists come in wildly divergent flavors

(some mutually exclusive), and yet those labels remain useful. I do not

continually say “this kind of anarchist” or “my kind of feminist,” so

please understand that I’m biased and referring to the anarchist and

feminist ideas that are most interesting to me.

Feminism is meaningful as a perspective on what humans need, and what

“human” means. This is qualitatively different from feminism being

merely about defining “woman” more expansively. Feminists believe that

both men and women are constrained by gender/sex roles in this culture

(and most cultures that have survived under the current paradigm). We

believe that while one group in this culture is more obviously powerful

(i.e. able to do more of what they want, to determine more of the course

of their lives), that the definitions of “power” are warped: for

example, one way men are considered to be powerful is that men can and

do beat the people who care about them, which is hardly actually

powerful. In other words, men are usually more able to make decisions

about externals but also usually have a more severe lack of internal

options regarding range of feelings and relationships. Part of the power

equation in this culture is the power of being a victim or martyr that

women have been encouraged to claim as our own. The fact that this is

frequently a dissatisfying option doesn’t refute the point that there is

a status that comes from being worse off than other people. (The

“innocent victim of war/crime/catastrophe/ blood transfusion stories is

only the most blatant example of this line of thinking.) The power that

comes from that status can be hard to give up, especially if there seems

to be no other kind of power available. This is the best answer I can

find to the question of a conversation I had in my 20s with an

anti-choice woman who argued that if it is possible for women to get

abortions, then men will not be forced to deal with the consequences of

their actions. In this perspective, abortions mean that women’s bodies

become men’s toys. If pregnancy is the last option for getting a husband

to take care of you — i.e. for survival, to some people — then

socially-acceptable abortions take away women’s last, strongest tool.

Put a ”strong” woman in the same small group with a “weak” one, and

[there] becomes a problem: How does she not dominate? How does she share

her hardearned skills and confidence with her sister? From the other

side — how does the “weak” woman learn to act in her own behalf?...

Those of us who have learned to survive by dominating others, as well as

those of us who have learned to survive by accepting domination, need to

resocialize ourselves into being strong without playing

dominance-submission games, into controlling what happens to us without

controlling others... (Carol Ehrlich — Socialism, Anarchism & Feminism)

Anarcha-feminists reject simple essentialist analysis. We know that

while characteristics that are assigned to women in this culture need

bolstering (nurturing, wombs, moods, non-linear thinking — all mostly

good) and women need bolstering (we deserve better than what we get), it

is misleading to conflate the two. It is not a matter of deserving

better because we have wombs (we don’t all have wombs) or because we are

nurturers (we are not the only ones who nurture), and so on.

As anarchist feminists we are not asking men to atone for the sins of

the forefathers, we are asking them to take responsibility for the

masculinity of the future. We are not asking women to be perpetually

aware of their oppression but to emerge from it. Mostly we are not

locating conflict within certain people, but in the kind of behavior

that takes place between them. (Flick Ruby — Anarcha-feminism; emphasis

added)

Feminism and anarchy both encourage people to take responsibility for

our own lives and relationships. This is different from advocating a)

that people make the government behave itself, or b) that generalized

men make space, in some generalized way, for generalized women. Who can

deny that there are institutional structures that enforce

oppressive/oppressed roles for men and women? Or that there are patterns

of behavior that are endlessly, tediously replicated between most men

and most women? But we know that no government is going to help--or even

allow--us to liberate ourselves. We also know that individual behavior

is most effectively challenged on an individual level. In other words,

if a man is acting like a jerk, then having his less-jerky peers deal

with him directly (in whatever way makes sense for the situation) will

be a more effective response than (for example) writing/reading some

paper saying that men are jerks and should do fill-in-the-blank.

And if there’s no group of less-jerky people who are prepared to deal

with him respectfully and appropriately? Then the situation is best

treated as motivation to get started developing such a group. We have to

build these relationships, not continue trying to get by without them.

Feminism or anarchism is frequently people’s first and deepest exposure

to a fundamental and global type of critical thinking that can work as a

compass for gauging every interaction that we have in the world. This is

why both feminism and anarchism vary so widely — because on one hand,

the most significant aspect of both types of analysis is the intensity,

clarity and wide range of their critique of the present situation. Both

act as elevators dropping us down many floors (as many as we can stand)

in the edifice of our current situation.

Both feminism and anarchism emphasize the relevance of day-to-day

actions and situations: there are political and personal aspects to all

experiences. Feminism especially brings an awareness of the concrete,

personal and emotional repercussions of oppression. Most political

theory is happy to exist platonically, but feminism insists that we

check ourselves and our friends regarding the decisions we make, the

relationships we live, the choices we assume. Feminism tracks the

genesis of personal behavior from political, social constructs (which is

the original meaning of “the personal is political”). Feminism rejects

abstractions to the extent that they distract us from what we can do now

to make the world better, or to the extent that people act like we can

make a better world without challenging problematic patterns now. To say

that this is feminist is to say that it is not behavior that comes

easily or gracefully within a sexist culture. We all have to find our

ability to a) value and work on relationships, b) value ourselves and

our ideas, and c) be creative (and patient) when those two seem to be at

odds. DIY, communal living and polyamory are all aspects of this kind of

perspective. A significant part of this living- in-the-real-world aspect

of feminism is the recognition that actual situations, choices, and

people are complex, with conflicting motivations and unpredictable

interactions. There is no purity. (The concept of purity is a christian

construct that valorizes the non-physical/sacred by denigrating the

physical/mundane, as a way to bolster the power of religious,

ideological “experts.”) Walking towards being more wonderful is

gratifying (and fun!), as long as it’s kept in perspective. Feminism and

anarchism both help us keep that perspective: anarchism by reminding us

that none of us want to be Authorities/experts, that Authority is

undesirable as a state, dehumanizing as a position.

The combination of feminism’s understanding of complex emotional

realities and anarchy’s belief in our fundamental ability to be in

appropriate relationship means that an anarcha-feminist response to

inappropriate behavior by community members requires a community

response that is just and supportive to all parties involved.

... to draw back respectfully from the Self-gate of the plainest, most

unpromising creature, even from the most debased criminal, because one

knows the nonentity and the criminal in oneself, to spare all

condemnation (how much more trial and sentence) because one knows the

stuff of which man is made and recoils at nothing since all is in

himself, this is what Anarchism may mean to you. It means that to me.

(Voltairine deCleyre — Anarchism)

We acknowledge that we are all broken by the society that raised us,

that we all need to learn how to interact with each other better, and

that while some of us are more broken than others, self righteousness is

not helpful to us, either as individuals or as groups.

Anarcha-feminists are somewhere along the road of holding the community

and the individual in simultaneous regard, challenging both the

individualism and the group-think taught us by patriarchal capitalism.

This balancing act (uh, this wildly swinging trapeze?) addresses both

the need for reconciliation and the reality that we cannot spend all our

time trying to help people who don’t want to change. (And of course we

reject the whole christian continuum of Righteous Casting Out of Sinners

on one pole and martyr-sacrificing-self-for-other-people on the other.)

Anarchists and feminists also find ways of being in relationship that

are different from culturally prescribed models — like by challenging

the primacy of romantic/sexual relationships, and the idea that any

relationship is separable from the context and social relationships it

exists within (e.g. abusive relationships are frequently misunderstood

to be the business only of the people involved, rather than a part of

whatever social circles are involved).

While a bias towards the real is one of the things that maintains

feminism’s relevance, that bias also limits us when it comes to

articulating what our goals are. I have been to too many conferences,

anarchist and otherwise, where the feminist component is dominated by

talk about the prevalence of sexist behavior (duh) and how we need to

support each other (again duh, or perhaps, unh unh, depending on the

definition of support and who “each other” is; questions that are never

addressed). The lack of analytic and strategic thinking is in part a

valid rejection of abstraction, and in part intellectual laziness and/or

intimidation. The feminist tactic of analyzing our individual behavior

and needs, too frequently is used to attack people for not abiding by

“rules,” when what it is good for is challenging ourselves and our

friends to keep our theory and practice fresh and meaningful. This means

criticism has to work for something other than making one person feel

better than another.

Finally, there is an ongoing tension for anarchists between

understanding ourselves as members of groups and understanding ourselves

as individuals. U.s. culture exploits both those urges in people, and

dissidents in the u.s. tend to prioritize one or the other; e.g.

anarcho-individualists vs. anarcho-communists or -syndicalists. But

really we need to incorporate our needs for both autonomy and membership

into how we want to live. We all need to develop a more sophisticated

understanding of how u.s. culture manipulates us through both sets of

needs (by pushing conformity and individuality). Feminism provides

anarchists with tools to discuss both autonomy and membership.

“Feminism,” “racism,” “classism”: the whole lexicon of “identity” is

useful to today’s anarchists to the extent that it provides us with ways

to talk about, and to meet, both sets of needs.