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Title: Unschooling Author: Peter Gray Date: September 15 2011 to July 12, 2014 Language: en Topics: unschooling, deschooling, parenting, education, family Source: Retrieved on December 31 2014 from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn Notes: Two original series of research (Unschooling Families and Unschooled Adults) by educational freedom advocate Peter Gray, in one convenient location. Minimal changes to the original text
Unschooling is a growing, radical educational movement that deserves
attention.
Published on September 15, 2011 by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn
Unschooling is a movement that turns conventional thinking about
education upside down. I'd like to learn more about it and tell the
world more about it, and for that reason I'm conducting a survey of
unschooling families. If you are a member of such a family and are
willing to participate, you can find the form here. If you can't find it
that way, you can request the form from me by email, at grayp@bc.edu.
The form itself contains all the information you need to complete and
return it. It's short and not hard to complete. I would be very grateful
for your participation. I invite you also to forward the form, or a link
to this post, to other unschooling families, so they might also
participate. (I plan to analyze the responses beginning in late
November, so please return your form before November 23, 2011).
[Note added Januay 8, 2012: The survey is now closed. Note added April
17, 2012: Results of the survey are now posted, as Report I (on benefits
of unschooling); Report II (on paths to unschooling), and Report III (on
challenges to unschooling. But read on, here, for more on unschooling.]
Here's some of what I know already about unschooling, before conducting
the survey. Defined most simply, unschooling is not schooling.
Unschoolers do not send their children to school and they do not do at
home the kinds of things that are done at school. More specifically,
they do not establish a curriculum for their children, they do not
require their children to do particular assignments for the purpose of
education, and they do not test their children to measure progress.
Instead, they allow their children freedom to pursue their own interests
and to learn, in their own ways, what they need to know to follow those
interests. They also, in various ways, provide an environmental context
and environmental support for the child's learning. Life and learning do
not occur in a vacuum; they occur in the context of a cultural
environment, and unschooling parents help define and bring the child
into contact with that environment.
All in all, unschoolers have a view of education that is 180 degrees
different from that of our standard system of schooling. They believe
that education is something that children (and people of all ages) do
for themselves, not something done to them, and they believe that
education is a normal part of all of life, not something separate from
life that occurs at special times in special places.
Nobody knows just how many kids in the United States are currently
unschoolers. For official record-keeping purposes, unschoolers are
lumped in with homeschoolers. State laws don't allow parents to just
take their kids out of school; parents have to somehow prove that their
kids are being educated at home, and that puts them into the
homeschooling category. Homeschooling, overall, is growing at an
accelerating rate. According to the National Center for Educational
Statistics, which conducts a survey every 4 years, there were in the
United States about 850,000 homeschooled kids (age 5 to 17) in 1999, 1.1
million in 2003, and 1.5 million in 2007. Stated as percentages of all
school-aged kids, these numbers translate to 1.7% in 1999, 2.2% in 2003,
and 2.9% in 2007. The data aren't in yet for 2011, but if we extrapolate
the curve from the previous years, we might guess that today close to 4%
of all school-aged kids are classed as homeschoolers.
People involved in the homeschooling movement estimate that roughly 10%
of homeschoolers are unschoolers, which seems reasonable to me based on
the proportions of them seen at homeschooling conventions. If this is
true, then upwards of 150,000 kids are unschooling in the United States
today and the numbers are increasing at an accelerating rate from year
to year. The estimate would be even higher, perhaps much higher, if
so-called "relaxed homeschoolers" were included. These are families who
"sort of" have a curriculum for their kids but don't necessarily follow
it or enforce it. All in all, unschooling is a very significant
educational movement, because it involves such a large number of kids
and it violates so sharply the standard view that kids must be forced to
learn an imposed curriculum if they are going to succeed.
Academic researchers have steered clear of any serious study of
unschooling, just as they have steered clear of Sudbury model schools
and all other innovations in education that deny the value of an imposed
curriculum. The one exception is a 2008 Ph.D. dissertation by Donna
Harel Kirschner, at the University of Pennsylvania's Department of
Anthropology. Kirschner interviewed and conducted home visits of 22
unschooling families, familiarized herself with the literature on
unschooling, and wrote a dissertation describing the philosophy and
practices of the families she studied. Unfortunately, Kirschner's work
has not appeared in any academic or non-academic publications, and the
dissertation itself is hard to obtain. You can purchase a copy of it
from ProQuest Digital Dissertations (or get it free from them if you
happen to have membership status at a subscribing university library).
The full title is Producing Unschoolers: Learning Through Living in a
U.S. Educational Movement.
But you can learn much more about unschooling by perusing the websites
and reading the books of those who are involved in the movement. If you
Google unschooling, you will find many choices available, but here are a
few such resources that I am familiar with and recommend:
⢠Pat Farenga's website. Pat Farenga is perhaps the foremost authority
on unschooling. He worked closely with John Holt, the noted author on
children and learning, until the latter's untimely death in 1985. Holt's
books, including How Children Fail and How Children Learn, published in
the 1960s and â70s, are still seen as guiding lights by most people in
the unschooling movement, and Pat has done much to keep those writings
in press and available. Holt coined the term unschooling and founded the
magazine Growing Without Schooling in the 1970s, and Pat continued to
publish the magazine after Holt's death, from 1985 until 2001. Pat is a
very popular writer, speaker, and media consultant on unschooling and
has served as counselor to many new unschoolers and homeschoolers. At
Pat's website you can find, among other things, Pat's blog, book
reviews, videos relevant to unschooling, and a link to the full set of
issues of Growing Without Schooling.
⢠Life Learning Magazine. When Growing Without Schooling stopped
publication, Life Learning Magazine became the leading journal of the
unschooling movement. The magazine is packed with well-written articles
about the philosophy and practice of unschooling. Since 2008 the
magazine has been completely digital. The editor, Wendy Priesnitz, is
herself a terrific author. You can find her blog at this site and links
to her other writings. I particularly recommend her brief book,
Challenging Assumptions in Education. The assumptions she challenges are
these: Education is something that is done to you; Knowledge belongs to
a cult of experts; Others know best what children should learn; Schools
provide effective training; and Schools have a noble purpose.
⢠The Natural Child Project. Here you can find well-written,
thought-provoking articles not just on unschooling but on all aspects of
parenting, including breastfeeding and the whole range of issues having
to do with family harmony. The unschooling movement is very much linked
to the larger natural child-raising movement, and here you see that link
clearly. You can also subscribe here to the Natural Child Newsletter and
can find links to writings by Jan Hunt and others. Jan is editor of the
newsletter and author of The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart.
She is also co-editor (with her son Jason) of The Unschooling Unmanual,
which I recently read and enjoyed. It is an excellent collection of
essays relevant to unschooling, including one by the novelist Daniel
Quinn, one by John Holt, and two by Hunt herself.
⢠Sandra Dodd's Radical Unschooling Website. This is another great
unschooling website, which I just recently discovered. Its explicit aim
is to provide practical information, resources, and encouragement to
people who have taken the unschooling path. You can find here clear,
well-written essays on almost every topic relevant to unschooling, links
to books and other sites relevant to unschooling, and an up-to-date list
of state, regional, and national organizations devoted to unschooling.
As is true also of Pat Farenga, Wendy Priesnitz, and Jan Hunt, Sandra is
an unschooling parent herself, so her words come not just from theory
and reading, but also from first-hand experience.
What, to unschoolers, are the benefits of skipping school?
Published on February 28, 2012 by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn
Five months ago, in September, 2011, I posted an essay (here)
introducing readers to the unschooling movement and inviting unschooling
families to participate in a survey. The survey questionnaireâwhich was
posted on Pat Farenga's Learning Without School site and Jan Hunt's
Natural Child Project siteâasked unschooling families to tell us a bit
about their family, including the age and sex of each child, the
employment of each parent, and the history of schooling, homeschooling,
and unschooling of each child. It also asked the respondents to define
unschooling as it is practiced in their home, to describe the path that
led them to unschooling, and to tell us about the biggest challenges and
benefits of unschooling for their family. My colleague Gina Riley
(adjunct professor of special education at Hunter College) and I have
been working on analyzing the results and preparing a report for
publication in an educational journal.
Here, in a series of reports in this blog, my intention is to present a
more informal report of the survey results. In this first report, I
present some general statistics about the families who responded and
then focus on their definitions of unschooling and their statements
about the benefits of unschooling. In subsequent reports I'll focus on
their paths to unschooling and the biggest challenges of unschooling.
One thing I can do here, which we won't be able to do in the more formal
academic article, is to present many quotations from the survey forms.
Many of the respondents are eloquent writers, who had no trouble putting
their enthusiasm for unschooling into words.
In all, 254 families responded to the survey. However, for 23 of these
families the oldest child had not yet reached school age (which we took
to be 5 years old), and we chose not to include those families for the
purpose of our main analyses. This left us with 231 unschooling
families. Of these, 186 were from the United States, 19 were from
Canada, and the remaining 26 were from other countries, mostly in
Europe. The respondents from the US came from 34 different states, the
most frequently represented of which are California (23), New York (14),
and Oregon (10).
Of the 231 families, 48 had one child, 104 had two children, 51 had
three, and the rest had four or more. In the great majority of families
(220), the person who filled out the questionnaire was the mom; in nine
families it was the dad, and in two families it was an unschooled child
(now an adult). Most (209) of the families appeared to be two-parent
families (as best as we could judge from the questionnaires), with both
parents (or one parent and a step-parent) living at home. Twenty-one
families were headed by single mothers, and one was headed by a single
dad.
Concerning employment, roughly half of the mothers identified themselves
as stay-at-home moms (often with part-time jobs), and the remaining were
relatively evenly split among those employed as professionals of one
type or another, self-employed enrepreneurs, and "other". The great
majority of the fathers were employed full time and were also relatively
evenly split among professionals, self-employed entrepreneurs, and
others.
It should be clear to anyone reading this report that this is not a
random sample of all unschoolers. Rather, the respondents are those who
in one way or another found the survey form and took the trouble to fill
it out and email it to me. One might expect that, as a whole, these are
among the most enthusiastic unschoolers, the ones who are most eager to
share their experiences. The general claims I make here apply only to
the group who responded, not necessarily to the whole population of
unschoolers.
In my earlier post, in which I announced the survey, I defined
unschooling simply as not schooling. I elaborated by saying:
"Unschoolers do not send their children to school and they do not do at
home the kinds of things that are done at school. More specifically,
they do not establish a curriculum for their children, they do not
require their children to do particular assignments for the purpose of
education, and they do not test their children to measure progress.
Instead, they allow their children freedom to pursue their own interests
and to learn, in their own ways, what they need to know to follow those
interests. They also, in various ways, provide an environmental context
and environmental support for the child's learning. Life and learning do
not occur in a vacuum; they occur in the context of a cultural
environment, and unschooling parents help define and bring the child
into contact with that environment."
In the survey, one of our items was: "Please describe briefly how your
family defines unschooling. What if any responsibility do you, as
parent(s), assume for the education of your children? [I am asking only
for generalities here. I may ask for more details in a subsequent
survey.]"
Essentially all of the respondents emphasized the role of their children
in directing their own education and in pointing out that education is
not separate from life itself. The responses varied, however, in the
ways they described the parents' roles. We coded the responses, somewhat
arbitrarily, into three categories--which I'll simply refer to as
Categories 1, 2, and 3--according to the degree to which they mentioned
deliberate roles the parents played in guiding and/or motivating their
child's education. I should emphasize that these categories do not have
to do with the degree to which the parents are involved in the child's
daily lives, but just with the degree to which that involvement,
according to the parents' descriptions, was deliberately directed toward
the child's education. [1]
By our coding, 100 (43%) of the responses fell into Category 1. These
were the responses that most most strongly emphasized the role of the
child and did not describe parental activities conducted specifically
for the purpose of the child's eduction, other than being responsive to
the child's wishes or the child's lead. As illustration, one respondent
in this category wrote: "Unschooling equals freedom in learning and in
life. We push aside paradigms and established regulations with regards
to schooling and trust our children to pave their own way in their own
educations. Everything they want to experience has value. We trust
them." Another wrote: "Unschooling, for us, means there is absolutely no
curriculum, agenda, timetable, or goal setting. The children are
responsible for what, how, and when they learn."
By our coding, 96 (42%) of the responses fell into Category 2. These
differed from Category 1 only in that they made some mention of
deliberate parental roles in guiding or motivating their children's
education. As illustration, one in this category wrote: "We define
unschooling as creating an enriching environment for our children where
natural learning and passions can flourish. We want our life to be about
connectionâto each other, to our interests and passions, to a joyful
life together....As a parent, I am my children's experienced partner and
guide and I help them to gain access to materials and people that they
might not otherwise have access to. I introduce them to things, places,
people that I think might be interesting to them, but I do not push them
or feel rejected or discouraged if they do not find it interesting...."
Finally, 35 (15%) of the responses fell into Category 3. These were
responses that might be considered as falling at the borderline between
unchooling and what is sometimes called "relaxed homeschooling." The
parents in these cases seemed to have at least some relatively specific
educational goals in mind for their children and seemed to work
deliberately toward achieving those goals. As illustration, one in this
category wrote: "We believe that, for the most part, our daughter should
be encouraged to explore subjects that are of interest to her, and it is
our responsibility as parents to make learning opportunities available
to her... I usually ask her to learn something or do something new or
educational every day (and I explain to her why learning something new
every day is such a cool thing to do!)."
The question about benefits came last in the questionnaire. It was
worded as follows: "What, for your family, have been the biggest
benefits of unschooling?" This was the question that led to the most
prolific and often eloquent answers. The most common categories of
benefits were the following:
1. Learning advantages for the child. At least 132 respondents (57% of
the total) mentioned benefits that fell in this category. They said that
their children were learning more, or learning more efficiently, or
learning more relevant material, or learning more eagerly in the
unschooling situation than they would if they were in school or being
schooled at home. Many in this category said that because their children
were in charge of their own learning, their curiosity and eagerness to
learn remained intact.
2. Emotional and social advantages for the child. At least 116
respondents (50% of the total) mentioned benefits that fell in this
category. They said that their children were happier, less stressed,
more self-confident, more agreeable, or more socially outgoing than they
would be if they were in school or being schooled at home. Many in this
category referred to the social advantages; their children interacted
regularly with people of all ages in the community, not just with kids
their own age as they would if they were in school.
3. Family closeness. At least 131 respondents (57% of the total)
mentioned benefits that fell in this category. They wrote that because
of unschooling they could spend more time together as a family, do what
they wanted to together, and that the lack of hassle over homework or
other schooling issues promoted warm, harmonious family relationships.
4. Family freedom from the schooling schedule. At least 84 (36% of the
total) mentioned benefits in this category. They said that freedom from
the school's schedule allowed the children and the family as a whole to
operate according to more natural rhythms of their own choice and to
take trips that would otherwise be impossible. Some also mentioned that
because of the free schedule, their kids could get jobs or participate
in community projects that would be impossible if they had to be in
school during the day.
For the remainder of this post, I'm pasting in 33 quotations, from the
questionnaires, about the benefits of unschooling. The quotations
reflect the views and the enthusiasm of these unschooling families much
better than any paraphrasing I could provide. Since many of you are not
going to read through the whole list of quotes, I'll note here (rather
than at the end) that I welcome your comments and questions. What if any
experiences do you have with unschooling? Can you imagine it working for
your family? If you were to do a survey of unschooling families, what
questions would you want to ask? This blog is a forum for discussion,
and your views and knowledge are valued and taken seriously, by me and
by other readers. As always, I prefer if you post your comments and
questions here rather than send them to me by private email. By putting
them here, you share with other readers, not just with me. I read all
comments and try to respond to all serious questions. Of course, if you
have something to say that truly applies only to you and me, then send
me an email. âBut now, read on....
Each quotation comes from a different questionnaire.
⢠"Wow...this list could be miles long! More time together, less
arguing, watching our daughter spend hours absorbed in things that she
is pursuing on her own, seeing her getting enough sleep and not coming
down with viruses that she used to catch at school, exploring museums
and other community resources together, talking as a family every day,
not rushing in the morning, no homework, no mandatory school functions,
no dysfunctional school social environment, no lunch to pack, no papers
to fill out and send back every day, no fundraising, seeing our daughter
happy with who she is and what she is doing, not worrying about
tests/grades/teacher's opinions, spending money that used to be spent on
tuition or curriculum supplies on things that she truly wants to learn
about. The biggest, number one benefit has to be our family
relationships, though. What a difference now that we actually have time
for each other! School did not just keep [our child] busy; it
overwhelmed the whole family."
⢠"Children who are full of joy, full of love for learning, creative,
self-directed, passionate, enthusiastic, playful, thoughtful,
questioning, and curious. Siblings who are very good friends. Close
family bond among all of us. Lots of time together. Ability to
experience and explore the world."
⢠"Oh my, the benefits are enormous. ... Lifelong curiosity, family
closeness, extraordinary success as my children step into academia and
careers, and the empowerment that comes with being oneself in a world
relentlessly telling us that we're only what we look like or own. I see
it every weekend when my college kids are home and my research biologist
daughter is back from work. They sit at the table long after dinner is
over, talking about their admittedly esoteric interests and bantering as
only those who love each other do. Then, even as adults, they push away
from the table to go work on a project together, something that has
bonded them for years. As the day stretches out they finally gather on
the porch, reluctant to part, still conversing and planning and
laughing. I can't imagine greater riches."
⢠"Enjoying a family-centered life rather than an institution-centered
life has been the biggest benefit of unschooling. Our late riser can
rise late and our early morning lover can get up early. We don't need to
wrap our lives around the schedule of a school. Our kids learn all the
time, instead of being trained to learn one subject at a time, in
50-minute increments bookended by bells. We are incredibly fortunate to
live in a time and place where we enjoy the free life of unschooling."
⢠"The other big benefit is that my kids have such a love of learning
and of life, which was never destroyed by conventional school. So we
don't have the kind of power struggles that other parents seem to have
over bedtimes and homework. ... After all, happy relationships should
ideally not be based on power issues. I can truly say that we are free
of that, and that we spend time together as a family not because we are
forced to, but because we enjoy it and love each other. What could be
better than that?"
⢠"Seeing the kids learn things naturally, and at their own pace without
forcing them. Seeing the amount of creativity and imagination my kids
have because they aren't expected to conform and be followers. Seeing
them become very involved and interested in subjects that I wouldn't
have imagined."
⢠"When I am around friends whose kids are in school, I am struck by how
much of their lives center around school. Get to bed so you can get up
so you can be there on time, pack lunch, get home so you can do
homework, organize all your stuff so you'll have it the next day. There
are so many disagreements and struggles around all of this stuff-YUCK.
It's life-changing just not having to have a schedule and nag everyone
all the time to keep up with it!"
⢠"The children can delve deeper into subjects that matter to them,
spend longer on topics that interest them. . . . The children can
participate in the real world, learn real life skills, converse with
people of all ages. They do not have to waste time with endless review,
boring homework, having to work above or beneath their abilities, or in
unpleasant power dynamics with adults with whom they have no connection.
They can be themselves, and learn about themselves, and become who they
truly want to be."
⢠"The world, and all of its amazing opportunities, truly is my
children's playground. My husband and I firmly believe that if our
children have freedom and the opportunity to explore and follow their
interests now that, as they mature and have to work, they will have a
much better chance of truly knowing what they would like to do and will
find their careers and adult life both worthwhile and enjoyable."
⢠"Watching our daughter relax and enjoy her days is immensely
satisfying, especially against the backdrop of her past few schooled
years. The freedom from school and its expectations, the freedom to be,
to live, has been liberating for all of us."
⢠"Watching my children learn so much so effortlessly. I watched my 5
year old daughter teach herself to read and write. It was the most
amazing thing to watch. It was like she was a codebreaker."
⢠"The biggest benefits have been witnessing our daughters' creativity
blossom full force, their ability to think outside the box when
presented with problems, their resourcefulness, and their genuine desire
to ask questions and learn as much as they can about the world around
them. Also, seeing them internalize the lesson that making mistakes is a
necessary and wonderful platform for growth and further learning, which
means they see mistakes as a positive and necessary part of their
education. They're not afraid to try their hand at just about anything."
⢠"Trust!. This unschooling path has taught me to trust my instincts and
to trust my children to know what feels right to them. There is no
perfect life but mistakes are our mirror to see what we would have done
differently and how we will decide now with the knowledge we have."
⢠"The list is endless: Most important: that learning was simply a
normal part of everyday life, as natural and as necessary as
breathing-never something confined to a specific place or time. But
also: Being able to spend so much time together, getting to know each
other so well. Being able to travel whenever we wanted (useful when the
girls began fencing competitively, too-we never had to worry about
school releases). That the girls OWNED their learning-despite their
occasional doubts, by the time they reached adulthood, they knew how to
go about learning anything they were interested in because they'd been
able to do that all their lives. That the girls grew up curious and
could indulge that curiosity. That the girls were not subjected to
school textbooks and could read what we still think of as "real" books.
That the girls learned for themselves how to organize and prioritize
their time and energy to get things done. That we had the leisure not
only to learn what and where we wanted, but to figure out the best ways
we learned, which could change from year to year and subject to subject.
That nobody had to ask permission for bathroom breaks. That we could eat
while we read if we wanted to."
⢠"The curiosity that he had as a 3 or 4 year old is still there. He
thinks life is interesting and fun. He has confidence in his ability to
do anything he wants to do."
⢠"A huge reduction in stress for our kids and me... being able to sleep
and eat on our own natural schedule ...learning at their own pace, in
ways that work best for them, information and skills that they chose to
learn, and therefore coming to enjoy learning!
Freedom! [My children] got to live as free people, and blossomed as
individuals! They had the time to figure out who they are, what they
enjoy and are interested in; had opportunities to learn and do all kinds
of interesting things that schooled children typically don't have time
for; were free from the bullying and threats (from the teachers) at
school; and had a group of homeschooled friends who were/are very nice,
generally happy and optimistic, friendly, interesting and interested
people."
⢠"Another huge benefit is that [my son's] stress levels are way down,
and he is happy. I realized by keeping him in school, I was stifling his
creativity, his passions, and teaching him he must put those things on
the back burner and conform to what society thinks is best for him to
learn.... He wants to work and make money, and now he is also free to
contribute to society in a valuable way instead of being in a classroom
all day."
⢠"I got my son back. The school wanted him âdiagnosed' with something
he doesn't have... he's just a super creative, intensely sensitive kid
who has so much to offer the world just as he is. ... He has never had a
problem getting along with other kids. He makes friends everywhere he
goes and is still in touch with his school friends too. Unschooling has
been such a blessing for us it has taken the stress off of my son (as
well as me) and allows him to follow his bliss... and create and imagine
and think for himself. He reads better now than he ever did in school."
⢠"One example is that of control. My youngest is a walking power
struggle; she can turn any moment into a fight for control. By allowing
her education be her choice and responsibility, we have a far better
relationship and she spends her energy learning instead of fighting. (We
have enough to fight over with whether she will brush her teeth or wear
weather-appropriate clothes, after all.)"
⢠"I feel like I'm trying to answer a question about the benefits of
breathing. We don't have to schedule, assume, judge, direct, or
anxiously evaluate. We just get to enjoy each other. My son gets to live
a life focused on what he loves at the moment."
⢠"I love watching my kids grow and learn and ask questions. I love
having one less thing to worry about (finding the time for "school") and
I love being able to skip curriculum shopping and planning. I also look
around at other homeschoolers and feel sorry for their constant stress
and worry. (Is my kid learning enough? Did we pick the right curriculum?
How much does homeschooling cost?) I see traditional homeschoolers so
burned out by the stress they make for themselves. Don't they know their
kids will learn despite them?"
⢠"Hands down, the relationship with our kids has flourished. We have
never gone through the typical teen angst or rebellion so often touted
as normal. I don't think it is. If you build up your family life where
members work together and help one another, where the focus is on happy
learning, it's hard NOT to get along and enjoy each other's company!
Schools have an insidious way of pitting parents against kids and
eroding the relationship that could flourish outside of that
environment. When kids, and all people really, can relax and enjoy life
and learn and pursue interests, they are happy. When people are happy,
they get along better, they work together and inspire one another, learn
from one another and grow stronger and healthier. All of that has
spilled over into marriage life and all family relationships, including
siblings. I knew without a doubt that the learning would happen and that
it would be amazing! I didn't expect the stark difference in our
relationship with our kids, as compared to what I thought it should be
like by what I saw in other families with kids in school."
⢠"Watching our children's interest in learning grow rather than
diminish, and seeing them use their knowledge regularly in conversation
and in play with others, rather than "dumping" it after a test."
⢠"The happiness and joy we experience every day is the biggest benefit.
Our lives are essentially stress free since we are living our lives the
way we want by making the choices that feel good for us. We have a very
close relationship built on love, mutual trust, and mutual respect. As
an educator I see that my daughter has amazing critical thinking skills
that many of my adult college students lack. ... My daughter lives and
learns in the real world and loves it. What more could I ask for?"
⢠"Looking at my grown children, I can see that both are securely
self-motivated, both are much more social and outgoing than I was at
their ages, both are living lives they have crafted out of their own
interests and talents. That is deeply satisfying. In addition, we all
have a strong connection which has grown directly from our shared
experiences throughout their childhoods."
⢠"I have seen my sons' passions bloom. They are happy and expressive
and take pride in themselves and their projects. They are knowledgeable
about so many more things than their schooled peers. They have a mindset
that is not hampered by negativity or limitations, something more common
with their schooled peers. They have big imaginations."
⢠"My daughters are very creative and artistic, loved college way more
(they reported) than their burned-out-about-institutions peers, are
skeptical and generally science-minded, and are ethical people."
⢠"Unschooling saved both my children's self-esteem, for different
reasons. [My son] was pegged as a âbad' kid at school, and, had he
continued down the path he was going (with the school and teachers
openly hostile towards him), the damage school was causing him would
have led him to self-medicate through alcohol and drugs by the time he
was in high school. When we withdrew him from school, not only did his
self esteem return but the close, trusting relationship we had before he
went to pre-school returned. [My daughter] was diagnosed with learning
disabilities and I was told she would never read on grade level and she
was always going to need special services. Keeping her out of school and
letting her learn at her own pace prevented her from a lifetime of
feeling like she was stupid."
⢠"Unschooling is not a panacea that prevents all unhappiness or
difficulty; it's important not to oversimplify or romanticize this. Our
daughters have had problems and struggles like all teenagers do in our
society. They are extremely smart and well-educated, but I think that
would be true if they had gone to school. I think the biggest difference
is that they know themselves better than we did at their age. They may
be a little closer to their true path in life. That was certainly our
hope, and if it turns out to be true, it's worth a lot."
⢠"This cannot be answered except by the children themselves. For us as
parents the child's joy is all the benefit needed. Today, our children
have their own children and they also have chosen to unschool. Daily
they face a life that is entirely different from those things that came
our way during their childhood."
⢠"The peace, the joy, the trust between us far exceeds anything I
imagined possible in parent/child relationships. Seeing [my daughter] be
who she is! Her self-confidence, her curiosity, the joy with which she
lives are all strong characteristics that I think would have been
damaged by school. Watching her engaged in the things that move her has
been a lesson in and of itself for all the adults in her life--she is
the most focused human being I've ever met. She can work for hours on
something that is meaningful to her--nothing she wants is "hard" or
"work" even, so my language isn't correct. (I'm sure if she were in
school, though, she'd be labeled as having ADD)."
⢠"My daughter's happiness, her curiosity, her love of exploration, her
freedom. Our freedom as a family, the cooperative nature of our
relationships and the trust between us that remains intact."
Why 232 families chose to trust their children's educative instincts
Published on March 26, 2012 by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn
This is the second in a series of three reports on a survey of
unschooling families that I conducted in the Fall of 2011. In the first
report, which you can find here, I described the survey method, gave
some demographic information about the families that responded, and
summarized their responses to questions about the definition and
benefits of unschooling as applied to their family. [In that report I
said that 231 families with children age 5 or older responded to the
survey. I now add the minor correction that this number was actually 232
families. We inadvertently omitted one family in the initial
tabulation.]
Briefly, for those who are new to the topic and have not yet read Report
I, families who identify themselves as unschoolers are those that do not
send their children to school and do not do at home the kinds of things
that are done at school. More specifically, they do not establish a
curriculum for their children, do not require their children to do
particular assignments for the purpose of education, and do not test
their children to measure progress. Instead, they allow their children
freedom to pursue their own interests and to learn, in their own ways,
what they need to know to follow those interests. They also, in various
ways, provide an environmental context and environmental support for the
child's learning. To learn more about the various ways by which
unschoolers operationalize these ideas, and the benefits that these
families see in unscholing--both for the child and for the family as a
whole--look back at Report I.
My goal now, in Report II, is to describe the paths by which the
families that responded to the survey came to unschooling. This report
is based on a qualitative analysis that my colleague Gina Riley and I
made of the responses to Item 6 on the survey form, which reads as
follows:
6. Please describe the path by which your family came to the unschooling
philosophy you now practice. In particular: (a) Did any specific school
experiences of one or more of your children play a role? If so, briefly
describe those experiences. (b) Did any particular author or authors
play a role? If so, please name the author or authors and what most
appealed to you about their writing. (c) Did you try homeschooling
before unschooling? If so, what led you from one to the other?
Here, in brief, is what we found:
In response to Question 6a, 101 of the 232 families indicated that at
least one of their children attended school prior to starting
unschooling, and that the child's experience in school led them to
remove the child from school. In their explanations, 38 of these
families referred specifically to the rigidity of the school's rules or
the authoritarian nature of the classroom as reason for removing the
child; 32 referred to the wasted time, the paltry amount of learning
that occurred, and/or to the child's boredom, loss of curiosity, or
declining interest in learning; and 32 referred to their child's
unhappiness, anxiety, or condition of being bullied. [Note: The numbers
here and elsewhere in this report are all approximations, as they depend
on interpretation of the written statements.]
Here, as illustration, is a representative sample of quotations from
respondents' answers to Question 6a (names have been removed in each
case):
Responses emphasizing rigidity of rules and authoritarian nature of the
classroom:
bringing a 'weapon' to school. The 'weapon' was a can of silly string."
something I thought most young kids were, naturally."
kids. One example: kids who understood things quickly in math still had
to go through the tedious process of 'showing their work' even if they
could figure it out in their heads. Our daughter was bored and
frustrated with this kind of busy work. She was getting punished (loss
of recess) for not doing her homework, yet got very good grades on her
report card and a perfect score on her first MCAS exam."
his letters, I knew this was wrong and that all kids learn at a
different pace."
home exhausted and quite frankly full of nastiness. They weren't the
nice people we remembered them to be. Once we brought them all home,
they became 'people' again."
ask for permission to urinate and permission to eat. She told us that
she was unwilling to do that, and we decided, with the school, to
withdraw her after a few days of her leaving the school grounds and
coming home."
Responses emphasizing boredom, wasted time, or loss of interest in
learning in school:
clear to me that being forced to follow someone else's idea of a
curriculum was counterproductive, to the point of making them 'hate'
learning (we found this intolerable)."
hour of homework (reading comprehension and math worksheets) every
night, for a 6 year old! The work was too easy for him, and he hated it
and dragged his feet every night, and we resented the intrusion into our
family life and relaxing time."
which my kids were stuck sitting still and doing absolutely nothing."
natural curiosity and love of learning. Too many hours in school and
then working on homework. He said to me, 'Mom, when is my time?' It was
breaking my heart."
slaves to the school's schedule even after school hours and on weekends.
Additionally, we found that our oldest child was losing his love of
learning, and our 2nd child did not have enough time for her passion and
gift - the performing arts."
Responses emphasizing the child's unhappiness, anxiety, or being bullied
at school:
issues. Lack of physical exercise. Lack of family time. Discipline
problems.... I was literally dragging my kids to school they hated it so
much."
that frustration led me to explore other options, but I didn't pursue
any at that time. Later when the same child was in 3rd grade the
workload and his frustration level with it, while still achieving
"advanced" grades, seemed incongruous. He was working longer hours at
school than his father spent at work. For what purpose?"
No Child Left Behind was implemented), wasn't eating at lunchtime, was
overcome by the noise and smells, and was distracted in the classroom.
My younger daughter was bored and beginning to refuse to participate in
classroom activities. My older daughter had been unhappy her entire
school career - I kept thinking she'd outgrow it, but she didn't. Things
finally got to the breaking point and I pulled them out without having a
plan, but knowing I could definitely do better than the school. I was
done sending them someplace that made them so sad and created so much
tension in our family."
were miserable. Due to misconceptions and lack of exposure to
homeschooling (forget unschooling, even homeschooling is not common in
India), we did not realize that it was a viable option, 'till
desperation led us to consider it."
my son physically and verbally. and after two years of taking it he
pushed one of his bullies back and was suddenly in trouble (the bully
was not in trouble even though it was witnessed by several teachers him
being a bully toward my son) The school repeatedly set my son up to fail
and ignored my requests and demands for change. Then they called a
meeting to discuss what to do 'about my son' instead of what they could
to FOR HIM... I told them that there would be no such meeting...."
Eventually she stopped even doing maths and went from top of the class
to bottom. This was due to a maths teacher who used to mock her and make
her feel small."
one of her friends had been verbally threatened (the term used was
'YOU'RE DEAD MEAT') by another classmate, pushed up against a wall, and
told that the classmate's older cousins were going to get her. I was
appalled that this was happening to 8 year olds and that, upon talking
to my daughter's teacher about this incident, this type of interaction
was not considered alarming by the teaching staff. I never want my
children to accept and numb themselves to think that treating other
humans horrendously, unloving, and unkindly is normal! I wanted my
children to know that a loving, more nurturing world exists, thus we
began homeschooling!"
emotionally damaged from his school experiences that we were shocked to
see how quickly his personality rebounded within a month or two."
In response to Question 6c, 110 of the 232 families said they had tried
homeschooling before transitioning to unschooling. As explanation for
this transition, most of these families described the child's resistance
to the home curriculum, the family's unhappiness by the stress the
curriculum created, and/or the parents' observations that the child was
learning much more on his or her own initiative than through the imposed
curriculum. Here is a representative sample of quotations illustrating
these explanations:
Meadow curriculum. I think I was in love with the idea of 'playing
school' like I was a little girl again! I loved ordering all the
supplies and books and planning our 'lessons.' But each year, after a
few weeks, I'd eventually start leafing through the pages trying to find
content that was relevant, appealing, something that wouldn't make us
both nod off! And when tears started flowing over math drill, I knew
there had to be a better way. I started to question why it was necessary
for my son to learn this thing at this time, and then realized, simply,
that it wasn't."
then-5-year-old wholeheartedly rejected any attempts at regimentation.
He learned twice as much if I simply strewed resources in his path and
let him go. Unschooling is all that works for him."
to do it that way for him to learn. ... We were both stressed and
dreaded sitting down at the table for the day's lessons. Gradually, I
started pulling back and began to see that the more I pulled back, the
more he flourished. Eventually, we began to ditch curriculum and strict
schedules until it evolved into unschooling."
reluctance to do them gradually led us to unschooling (anything looking
like instructions made her run away and we didn't want this kind of
relationship)."
pushed school-like activities on my kids in the transition time just
after we left school. ... Eventually I saw with my own eyes and heart
that anything my kids chose on their own was more meaningful, pleasant,
and long-lasting than something I coerced them to do."
responsible for making him do his homework, but for teaching him as
well. Too much pressure for both of us. We were both miserable."
reproduced school at home, complete with desk, worksheets, grades, etc.
After a month, we were both miserable."
problems that my son had at public school and were just changing the
location. We tried a number of different styles of curriculum and they
just didn't feel right. He and I were both happiest when I just let him
be. In the meantime I was researching all I could on different ways to
homeschool and each time I read about unschooling I thought, 'That would
work for him, I just know it would.' I was afraid to trust, though, so
we muddled through pretending to homeschool. When my younger two
children taught themselves to read, I had the ah-ha moment and said,
'Hey it really can work.'"
Influential authors.
In response to Question 6b, the majority of respondents said that a
particular author or authors did play a role in their decision to
unschool. Not surprisingly, the author most often mentioned, by far, was
John Holt (named by 127 respondents), the former teacher who went on to
condemn forced schooling and promote self-directed education in books
such as How Children Fail and How Children Learn. Holt also coined the
term unschooling and founded the first magazine devoted to
unschooling-Growing Without Schooling. Holt's work continues to be
carried on by Holt Associates, led by Pat Farenga.
The next most frequently mentioned author was John Taylor Gatto (named
by 52 respondents), the former New York State Teacher of the Year who
left teaching because he was convinced that compulsory schools, no
matter how one taught within them, were doing more harm than good. Gatto
went on to write, among other things, Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden
Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling; A Different Kind of Teacher: Solving
the Crisis of American Schooling; and Weapons of Mass Instruction: A
Schoolteacher's Journey Through the Dark World of Compulsory Schooling.
The third most often mentioned was Sandra Dodd (named by 39
respondents), who maintains a very active website devoted to unschooling
and parenting, is author of The Big Book of Unschooling, and promotes a
version of unschooling called "radical unschooling." Some of the
respondents who mentioned Dodd were quite passionate about their respect
for her ideas and influence. Other authors mentioned with considerable
frequency were Alfi Kohn, Grace Llewellen, Mary Griffith, Dayna Martin,
Naomi Aldort, Ivan Illich, Jeanne Leidloff, Raymond & Dorothy Moore, Jan
Hunt, Pat Farenga, Joyce Fetteroll, Rue Kream, and Susan Wise Bauer.
In addition to mentioning specific authors, many mentioned that
unschooling websites, conferences, or lectures played a role in their
decision. Many also mentioned the role of friends or acquaintances who
were very successfully unschooling their children.
The decision to unschool, without an intervening period of schooling
Eighty six of the families who responded to the survey indicated that
they chose unschooling right from the beginning, with no initial period
of in-home or out-of-home school. Some of these said that they had made
their decision even before they had any children, on the basis of their
overall philosophy of life. At least a third of the 86 mentioned that
their experiences parenting their young children, before school age,
played a role in their decision to unschool. Some of these had been
practicing "attachment" or "natural" parenting, and the decision to
unschool seemed to follow naturally from that. For example, one mother
wrote:
calls babies who want to be in arms constantly. I learned to respond to
her cues from day one and it was hard at first, giving up my old life! I
learned about attachment parenting and implemented that brilliant idea
into my life and followed her lead since. My home births for babies 2
and 3 propelled me with strength that I could also take control of my
children's education, or really we could do it together, with them
leading the way and me there to support them."
Nearly a third of the whole set of 232 respondents mentioned that their
own negative school experiences influenced their decision to unschool
their children, and many of these went directly to unschooling without
any intervening period of schooling. For example, one in this group
wrote:
my college experience that all of my schooling previous to college was
completely unnecessary, and a waste of time. ... My K-12 experience was
the unhappiest time of my life."
Some of the unschooling parents had been teachers or school counselors
and made their decision to unschool based on those experiences. Here are
two excerpts from parents in families in this category:
oldest reached school age. I think the experience of dealing with kids
who did not fit the system really opened his eyes. It pained him that so
many students had simply given up all enthusiasm for learning at that
point in their lives. The kids had either learned to jump through the
hoops or had completely stopped trying, but there was very little real
passion for learning left in them."
loved being with the children. But I also began to see how flawed the
system is, and when my children neared school age I realized I didn't
want them on the receiving end of all that was wrong."
And so, in sum, the people who responded to our questionnaire came to
unschooling by many routes. Most often, it seems, the decision to
unschool came from some combination of (a) a philosophy of life
emphasizing the value of freedom and respect for individual differences;
(b) observations of their children's learning and emotional experiences
both inside and outside of schooling; (c) reflections on their own
negative school experiences; and (d) knowledge gained from writers,
speakers, websites, and the experiences of other unschooling families.
My next post will be Report III on the survey responses. There I will
focus on the main challenges of unschooling for these 232 families.
The biggest challenge to unschoolers: standing up to social norms.
Published on April 11, 2012 by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn
[Note: The social media counts accidentally reset to 0 on this post.]
This past fall, I conducted a survey of 232 âunschoolingâ families who
have children older than 5 years. This is the last in a series of three
reports on that survey. In the first report, I described the survey
method, gave some demographic information about the families that
responded, and summarized their responses to questions about the
definition and benefits of unschooling as applied to their family. In
the second report, I described the various paths that led these families
to unschooling, including their previous experiences with conventional
schooling and homeschooling, their observations of their childrenâs
natural ways of learning, and the influence of authors who had written
about natural forms of education. Now, in this final report, I examine
the challenges of unschooling as experienced by the families in the
survey.
Briefly, for those who are new to the topic and have not yet read the
previous reports, families who identify themselves as unschoolers are
those that do not send their children to school and do not do at home
the kinds of things that are done at school. More specifically, they do
not establish a curriculum for their children, do not require their
children to do particular assignments for the purpose of education, and
do not test their children to measure progress. Instead, they allow
their children freedom to pursue their own interests and to learn, in
their own ways, what they need to know to follow those interests. They
also, in various ways, provide an environmental context and support for
their childrenâs learning. To learn more about the various ways by which
unschoolers operationalize these ideas, and the many benefits that these
families see in unschooling, both for the child and for the family as a
whole, look back at Report I.
The present report is based on a qualitative analysis that my colleague
Gina Riley and I conducted of the responses to Question 7 on the survey
form, which reads as follows: "What, for your family, have been the
biggest challenges or hurdles to surmount in unschooling?"
As a first step in the analysis, we coded the challenges that people
described into several relatively distinct categories. The most
frequently cited of these categories is the one that we labeled "Social
Pressure." It includes negative judgments and criticism from other
people, from relatives, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers, and
unschoolersâ perceived needs to justify their choice repeatedly to
people who donât approve or donât understand. A total of 106 families
(46 percent of the 232) included this category of challenge in their
answer to Question 7. In fact, for 57 of these families, Social Pressure
was the only category of challenge listed.
The second most frequently cited category of challenge is the one that
we labeled Deschooling the Parentâs Mind." This category has to do with
parentsâ difficulties in overcoming their own, culturally ingrained
âschoolishâ ways of thinking about education. Included here are all
descriptions of conflicts between the parentâs unschooling philosophy
and that same parentâs automatic ways of thinking and responding that
could undermine that philosophy. A total of 95 families (41 percent of
the 232) included this category in their answer to Question 7. This
category will become much clearer, below, where I present a sample of
quotations exemplifying it. Many respondents cited challenges in both
this category and the Social Pressure category, and some pointed to a
link between the two. Others' criticisms would sometimes reawaken old,
socially normative ways of thinking and raise again the fears that
unschooling parents thought they had overcome, even when they could see
full well that unschooling was working beautifully for their children.
These fears could lead the parent to begin trying to direct and control
their childrenâs learning, which, if unchecked, would defeat the
unschooling practice.
Both of these two most often mentioned categories of challenge have to
do with the power of social norms. We are social creatures, and it is
very difficult for us to behave in ways that run counter to what others
perceive as normal. In the history of cultures, harmful normative
practices or rituals may persist for centuries at least partly because
of the stigma, or perceived stigma, associated with violating the norms.
These have included such practices as foot binding in the upper classes
in China and genital mutilation in many other cultures. Even people who
knew that such practices were harmful did them, because failure to do so
would mark the family as âdifferentâ and therefore aberrant. School is
the most predominant cultural ritual of our time. It is a practice
ingrained as normal, even necessary, in the minds of the great majority
of people. To counter it, one must overcome not just othersâ negative
judgments, but also the judgments that rise up from oneâs own
school-indoctrinated mind.
Other categories of challenge lagged well behind these first two in
frequency. These remaining categories include: "Time/Career/Income"
(problems deriving from a parentâs inability to pursue a career, or earn
more money, or have sufficient time for herself or himself while
attending to the children at home), cited by 45 families; "Finding
Friends" (problems of finding friends for their children to play with,
or finding others who shared their philosophy), cited by 18 families;
and "Legal Issues" (problems deriving from laws or regulations that make
unschooling illegal or difficult to practice), cited by 15 families.
Although "Legal Issues" was cited by only 5 percent families in North
America, they were cited by 33 percent (5 out of 15) who resided in
Europe and by 75 percent (3 out of 4) who resided in France.
The remainder of this post is devoted to selected quotations from the
questionnaires, which illustrate each category of challenge. Since some
of you might not read through the whole list of quotes, I'll note here
(rather than at the end) that I welcome your comments and questions. If
you are a member of an unschooling family, how have you dealt with the
kinds of challenges described by the respondents to this survey, or what
other challenges have you faced? If you are not a member of an
unschooling family, what other questions do you have about unschooling
that are not addressed by this series of reports? This blog is a forum
for discussion, and your views and knowledge are valued and taken
seriously, by me and by other readers. As always, I prefer if you post
your comments and questions here rather than send them to me by private
email. By putting them here, you share with other readers, not just with
me. I read all comments and try to respond to all serious questions. Of
course, if you have something to say that truly applies only to you and
me, then send me an email.
But now, read on. These quotations are eloquent statements of the
hurdles that unschooling families have had to surmount.
⢠âBy far the greatest challenge is with other people. It is such a
radical concept, I think it feels so easy for people (especially family
members) to criticize it. I get tired of feeling like I need to wait
until my children are adults so I can finally say, âSee, itâs all
right!ââ
⢠âThe biggest challenge has been overcoming fears about going against
the norm and dealing with extended family members who are critical or
unsupportive of our choices.â
⢠âWe still have not told my husband's family that we are unschooling.
We fear that they would panic and feel the need to step in. We don't
want that tension for ourselves or our children.â
⢠âAnswering the questions of other people who do not understand,
including [those of] homeschoolers. Things like, what grade are you in,
what curriculum do you use, how does an only child get any
socialization, etc.â
⢠âI would say the only real challenge we have is dealing with othersâ
(mostly strangers') prejudices and misunderstandings. When we say we
homeschool (because âunschoolingâ is met with blank stares most of the
time) they assume I have little desks set up in my living room. They
assume we have no social life. It just gets really, really tiring
hearing those comments all the time (from people we meet out in public).
Then a program comes on mainstream TV about unschooling and people think
that is our life (these programs are usually sensationalized and edited
in such a way as to portray us as neglectful, ignorant parents who donât
care about their kids). Iâm sick of answering questions like âWell,
thatâs fine for art and music, but what about math?â or âHow will your
kids function in the Real World.â I donât always want to be an
ambassador for unschooling, especially when Iâm just trying to buy
groceries! But it seems I often find myself in that situation and
sometimes it is tiring.â
⢠âI think for us, being Christians, it is the stigma of being lazy
parents. Unschooling is viewed as a hands-off approach to child rearing
and is especially viewed as wrong or sinful in the Christian community.
God loves order--or so it goes in their minds. The funny thing is that
Jesus was probably unschooled.â
⢠âOur extended family was our biggest challenge. They were negative
about homeschooling, and outraged by unschooling. We had to pull away
from them for a little over a year. Now they see that [our daughter] is
âOKâ.â
⢠âMy biggest hurdle has been gracefully handling interactions with
friends and others who are invested in public school. I have a number of
friends who are teachers or connected somehow with schools, and they saw
(still sometimes see) what we do as thumbing our noses at them and their
efforts.â
⢠âThe skepticism and open disapproval of most of my friends and family
was incredibly hard on me and isolated our family from our previous
social group. I learned not to mention unschooling, because most of my
old friends were already completely unsupportive of my decision to
homeschool and the few people I told about unschooling completely
freaked out.â
⢠âMy daughterâs father and stepmother were so opposed to it that they
literally kicked her out of their house because they felt she was
setting a bad example for their younger children.â
⢠âMy MIL stopped asking about her grandchildren, unwilling to try to
understand what we were doing or whyâŚso they essentially lost a
grandparent.â
⢠âWhen we first discovered unschooling, and really were exploring the
philosophy, I was so excited to talk about it with family/friends. I
learned very quickly that most people canât (wonât?) understand, and
some are downright disapproving. I have learned to talk about our
unschooling in very schooly terms so that other people are more
comfortable with us, and feel that we can relate on some level.â
⢠âDealing with ignorant or defensive comments from those who donât know
anything about unschooling is tiring.â
⢠ââOthersâ, be they friends of friends, family members, or just people
we have to interact with at public events or activities...Questioning
our children, interrogating us, having our motives challenged and
scrutinized. Being accused of being selfish or of child neglect by not
having them in a traditional school learning state standards.
Occasionally, it breaks through and fills us with doubts and fears.â
⢠âThe biggest hurdle has been other people. It is difficult to find
others who are encouraging, especially people who live nearby. Our
support has been conferences and online communities. . . . Others donât
understand and look down on what weâre doing. Most people are stuck in
the school paradigm and feel like it really is necessary for kids to go
to school in order to be successful adults. They see things like
bullying and doing work that has no meaning for you as necessary rights
of passage to the âreal world,â which they see as boring, scary, and
uninviting in general.â
⢠âWe gave up discussing anything with family...Acquaintances and
strangers used to bother us, but now that I have the proof that it works
âŚ. [But some] still try to think of something wrong, like how she missed
the prom or doesn't act like a âteenage girlâ. It seemed to be somehow
unusual in a bad way to have a mid-teen act like a graduate student,
like maybe we had somehow been responsible for her being so
âdifferent.ââ
⢠âMy son hates explaining what we do or donât do at length to people
who disapprove.â
⢠âWhenever you do something so outside the norm you have to practically
become a spokesman for it. Iâm not really interested in being the poster
child for unschooling or putting my kids in that role, but it seems to
be expected nonetheless.â
in order to practice unschooling effectively
⢠âMy son instinctually knows how to do this, but we [my husband and I]
have had to unlearn a lot!â
⢠âSomething in us rebels at the thought of kids âgetting awayâ with not
having to do math and spelling drills, homework, or having something
forced upon them âbecause theyâll need it.â Itâs hard to see them
spending so much time doing unstructured learning and having to fight
the feeling that theyâre not learning effectively even when we can see
that they are. In a way, weâre actually jealous that they donât have to
put up with the monotony, confusion, frustration, and âsocializationâ
(i.e. negative peer influence) that we had to deal with and can really
focus on the joy of learning.â
⢠âThe primary [challenge] is getting over my own worries that they
arenât learning enough. I have to deschool myself constantly. There are
so many messages in the media, and through family members (cousins,
grandma, aunts) that my kids should know certain things on the school
schedule. I have to remind myself constantly that they are always
learning things, and that they have such a wonderful love of learning,
and that they do not need to be on some elseâs schedule.â
⢠âOh, keeping the status quo from invading my brain: âTV is bad!â
âComputers are bad!â âChildren should be reading by age 5!â âVideo games
make children violent!â It can be challenging to hear all this over and
over and over again and not worry about it even though you can see
perfectly well that none of these things are happening in real life.â
⢠âComing from academia, probably the biggest hurdle was my own
schooling or more accurately, deschooling myself and letting go of the
belief that a âgood momâ provides endless âeducationalâ opportunities,
without which a child is doomed to mediocrity. Learning to see learning
everywhere, and understanding that learning has no connection to
teaching.â
⢠âRefraining from pushing and coercing kids into things that I think
are good for them. It never works out well and undermines the trust
inherent in unschooling. At its root is worry that Iâve made a terrible
mistake and they wonât get what they need. Patently ridiculous, but the
worry had a way of creeping in frequently in the early years. Not so
much anymore as the benefits have become so clear as the girls have
matured and proven very competent and eager learners.â
⢠âMy own deschooling has been the biggest hurdle. Even though I have
always wanted to focus on my kidsâ interests, I had a hard time letting
go of the need to see hard proof (written work, projects, etcâŚ) that
they were learning.â
⢠âI still encounter little boxed up sections of my brain with old fears
and assumptions. Right now [my son] is 6, and his friends are reading.
Iâve found myself feeling anxious and unsure and then disgusted with
myself for having those feelings. Now Iâm learning to surf themâlet them
come up, remember that theyâre just outworn, fear-based reactions, let
them subside, and watch how creatively [my son] navigates his world.â
⢠âI keep having to remind myself and get my husband to remind me that
this is actually working. I was a teacher myself and this is just so not
how I was taught at university to teach kids!â
⢠âFor me personally, getting over the feeling that I am not doing
enoughâthose panicky moments when I jump in and try to force a bit of
learning. I soon have regretted them, and now, day-by-day, I am amazed
by what the children are learning -- what they know.â
⢠âI have found that the biggest hurdles so far all self
inflicted...Sometimes it feels too easy and that there must be a catch.
Am I just being lazy? For the love of God, what about the workbooks!
Given our schooled background it is easy to believe that if it's
âeducationalâ, it can't be fun, and if it's fun (and easy), it can't be
educational! I generally question the path we have chosen only because I
do not know anyone who has homeschooled, let alone unschooled.â
⢠âI am definitely the biggest challenge! I have to get out of my way, a
lot. Whether it is questioning whether their video game play is
excessive to âwhat about college?,â sometimes just finding trust is
hard! But I always eventually reason that a conversation with any of my
children would allay the fears of even the most hardened skeptic; they
are articulate, compassionate, engaged people, and I wouldnât change a
thing about them or the path weâve chosen (except maybe not having had
to do the school thing first!).â
⢠âOur own conditioning is the biggest challenge. The disapproval and
criticism from family and friends is easier to deal with than the old
tapes playing in our own heads.â
⢠âMoney money money money money. I have always had to work and
sometimes more than others. Most of my at-home years were spent
freelancing (Iâm a writer) to close the gap and then when my husband was
laid off I went full-time freelance with some on-site work. For one
terrible, terrible year I worked full-time for a nonprofit â three days
from home and two days on-site. It was very difficult and although my
kids did ok, I about ran myself into the ground. âŚPlus my kidsâ social
life depends on mine so much â itâs one thing to drive them to events
but being in the loop takes parental effort â and when Iâve been working
I havenât been able to do that, which has meant they have missed out on
some.â
⢠âThe biggest challenge has been financialâso much to do and see and
explore, not enough resources to do it all. But, that too is part and
parcel of living life and seeking options and alternatives to meet needs
and desires and curiosities within the parameters of a single income
household and the time away from home required for the working parent.â
⢠âTimeâtrying to balance work and âparent alone timeâ.â
⢠âHaving time alone for me (mom) since my children are with me 24/7.â
⢠âOur biggest hurdle has just been fitting everything in, with so many
children and different interests, allowing for each individual to follow
his own path.â
⢠âFor us the main issues are the travel required for socializing â-
this can be tiring. We have to travel further to find girls my eldest
daughterâs age.â
⢠âBecause our son is an only child, and the other children who live in
our neighborhood attend school and then after-school care, we have had
to make sure to provide plenty of opportunity for him to get together
and play with other children, as he really enjoys being with other kids.
Until we found a couple local(ish) unschooling/homeschooling networks
with which we connected, it was challenging to find him children to play
with as often as he wanted to get out and socialize...Also because my
husband and I both work from home, it can be challenging during busy
work weeks to balance everyoneâs schedules and needs to make sure
everyone and everything is getting attention and support.â
⢠We live rurally, and it has been very challenging for the children to
develop friendships with local people.â
⢠[From Finland, where even non-schooled kids must take tests.]
âEspecially when the official tests day at the local public school is
approaching, we get more worried. Then we typically decline into the
âteacher-centeredâ mode and do our best to drill some test-taking-skills
to him.â
⢠[From the UK] âThe problems we have had are with the council and
trying to make them realize it is a genuine educational philosophy. Also
I always panic every now and then in case they turn up and want
âevidenceâ.â
⢠[From France] âThe fear of the inspection. In France, we're controlled
each year, and it's a harsh time to defend the right we still have to
educate according to a different pedagogy/philosophy from school.â
⢠[From France] âEducation authorities, because we are controlled here
by people who do not believe in homescholling (so you could imagine what
unschooling is for them). We are obliged to hide (so being outlaws) or
to [compromise our unschooling principles]. ⌠In the French law all
16-year-old children must have certain knowledge for each subject. So if
you are doing totally unschooling itâs impossible to be sure your child
will attain this aim at sixteen.â
⢠[From North Carolina] âCurrently, in our state, I have to give my
child a standardized test once a year starting at age 7. I worry about
this affecting my commitment to unschooling, since the state will be
watching me.â
⢠[From New Hampshire] âOur biggest hurdles to unschooling have been our
state's homeschool requirements. Although the NH requirements are easy
and reasonable to comply with, there is still that burden hanging over
us during the year that we âshould find a way to get some of this or
that in the portfolioâ. In fact, a couple of years ago my son and I
rallied at the NH State House three times to prevent the passing of
legislation that would have required all homeschoolers to take a
standardized test in addition to the portfolio option! My son, who, on
his own at age 14 began to write like crazy and subsequently wrote an
entire book manuscript, wrote a letter to the newspaper recently stating
how state requirements infringe upon his right to learn freely in the
way that he wants to learn, because he is aware that he must cover
certain âsubjectsâ whether he wants to or not.â
Despite the challenges, none of the respondents expressed regret about
their unschooling decision. For the many reasons for their lack of
regret, look back at Report I and Report II, for their descriptions of
the benefits of unschooling and the experiences that led them to it.
Pass this on to people who meet our criteria as being "unschooled"
adults.
Published on March 12, 2013 by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn
A year and a half ago I initiated a survey of unschooling families in
order to learn about their reasons for unschooling and what they
perceived to be the benefits and challenges of this approach to
education. More than 230 families generously responded to the survey,
and my colleague Gina Riley and I analyzed the results. I published a
summary of those results on this blogâhere, here, and here; and Gina and
I subsequently authored a full report on the survey that is scheduled to
appear in the next issue (Vol. 7, issue 14, 2013) of the Journal of
Unschooling and Alternative Learning. The survey results also
contributed to the discussion of unschooling in the final chapter of my
new book, Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make
Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life.
Gina and I are now following up with two more survey studies of
unschooling. One of these is a survey specifically of the children, who
are under 18 years old, in the same families that responded to the
initial survey. For that study we are not seeking new recruits; we have
already sent emails to those families asking the children to participate
if they are willing to. The other study, for which we are seeking new
recruits, is a study of adultsâage 18 and olderâwho were âunschooledâ
during at least the last two years of what otherwise would have been
their high school years. For this study we are seeking the participation
not just of those who were in the initial sample of families, but also
anybody, anywhere, who fits the criteria.
For the sake of this study, âunschoolingâ is defined as follows:
Unschooling is not schooling. Unschooling parents do not send their
children to school and they do not do at home the kinds of things that
are done at school. More specifically, they do not establish a
curriculum for their children, do not require their children to do
particular assignments for the purpose of education, and do not test
their children to measure progress. Instead, they allow their children
freedom to pursue their own interests and to learn, in their own ways,
what they need to know to follow those interests. They may, in various
ways, provide an environmental context and environmental support for the
child's learning. In general, unschoolers see life and learning as one.
For our study of unschooled adults, we are seeking people who meet the
following criteria:
a. Participants must be 18 years of age or older.
b. Participants must have been unschooled (by the above definition) for
at least two years during what would have been their high school years.
AND
c. Participants must not have attended 11th and 12th grade at a high
school.
If you meet these criteria and are willing to participate in the study,
or if you have any questions about the study, please send an email to
Gina Riley at this address: professorginariley@gmail.com. If you have
questions or comments about this study that might be of interest to
other readers, please post them here. Either Gina or I will answer any
questions.
If you know anyone who qualifies for this study, please tell them about
it and send them Ginaâs email address and/or a link to this blog post.
If you belong to an unschooling group of any sort, please send them a
link to this post. To make this study most effective, we want to reach
as many unschooled adults as we possibly can.
THANK YOU for considering this request!
Seventy-five unschooled adults report on their childhood and adult
experiences.
Published on June 7, 2014 by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn
In a study that preceded the one to be described here, my colleague Gina
Riley and I surveyed parents in unschooling familiesâthat is, in
families where the children did not go to school and were not
homeschooled in any curriculum-based way, but instead were allowed to
take charge of their own education. The call for participants for that
study was posted, in September, 2011, on my blog (here) and on various
other websites, and a total of 232 families who met our criteria for
participation responded and filled out the questionnaire. Most
respondents were mothers, only 9 were fathers. In that study we asked
questions about their reasons for unschooling, the pathways by which
they came to unschooling, and the major benefits and challenges of
unschooling in their experience.
I posted the results of that study as a series of three articles in this
blogâhere, here, and hereâand Gina and I also published a paper on it in
the Journal of Unschooling and Alternative Learning (here). Not
surprisingly, the respondents in that survey were very enthusiastic and
positive about their unschooling experiences. They described benefits
having to do with their childrenâs psychological and physical wellbeing,
improved social lives, and improved efficiency of learning and attitudes
about learning. They also wrote about the increased family closeness and
harmony, and the freedom from having to follow a school-imposed
schedule, that benefited the whole family. The challenges they described
had to do primarily with having to defend their unschooling practices to
those who did not understand them or disapproved of them, and with
overcoming some of their own culturally-ingrained, habitual ways of
thinking about education.
The results of that survey led us to wonder how those who are
unschooled, as opposed to their parents, feel about the unschooling
experience. We also had questions about the ability of grown unschoolers
to pursue higher education, if they chose to do so, and to find gainful
and satisfying adult employment. Those questions led us to the survey of
grown unschoolers that is described in this article and, in more detail,
in three more articles to follow.
On March 12, 2013, Gina and I posted on this blog (here) an announcement
to recruit participants. That announcement was also picked up by others
and reposted on various websites and circulated through online social
media. To be sure that potential participants understood what we meant
by âunschooling,â we defined it in the announcement as follows:
âUnschooling is not schooling. Unschooling parents do not send their
children to school and they do not do at home the kinds of things that
are done at school. More specifically, they do not establish a
curriculum for their children, do not require their children to do
particular assignments for the purpose of education, and do not test
their children to measure progress. Instead, they allow their children
freedom to pursue their own interests and to learn, in their own ways,
what they need to know to follow those interests. They may, in various
ways, provide an environmental context and environmental support for the
child's learning. In general, unschoolers see life and learning as one.â
The announcement went on to state that participants must (a) be at least
18 years of age; (b) have been unschooled (by the above definition) for
at least two years during what would have been their high school years;
and (c) not have attended 11th and 12th grade at a high school.
The announcement included Ginaâs email address, with a request that
potential participants contact her to receive a copy of the consent form
and survey questionnaire. The survey included questions about the
respondentâs gender; date of birth; history of schooling, home
schooling, and unschooling (years in which they had done each); reasons
for their unschooling (as they understood them); roles that their
parents played in their education during their unschooling years; any
formal higher education they had experienced subsequent to unschooling
(including how they gained admission and how they adapted to it); their
current employment; their social life growing up and now; the main
advantages and disadvantages they experienced from their unschooling;
and their judgment as to whether or not they would unschool their own
children.
We received the completed questionnaires over a period of six months,
and Gina and I, separately, read and reread them to generate a coding
system, via qualitative analysis, for the purpose of categorizing the
responses. After agreeing on a coding system, we then, separately,
reread the responses to make our coding judgments, and then compared our
separate sets of judgments and resolved discrepancies by discussion.
A total of 75 people who met the criteria filled out and returned the
survey. Of these, 65 were from the United States, 6 were from Canada, 3
were from the UK, and 1 was from Germany (where unschooling is illegal).
The median age of the respondents was 24, with a range from age 18 to
49. Eight were in their teens, 48 were in their 20s, 17 were in their
30s, and 2 were in their 40s. Fifty-eight (77%) were women, 16 were men,
and 1 self-identified as gender queer. The high proportion of women
probably represents a general tendency for women to be more responsive
to survey requests than are men. It is not the case that more girls than
boys are unschooled; indeed, our previous study suggested that the
balance is in the opposite directionâthere were somewhat more boys than
girls undergoing unschooling in the families that responded to that
survey.
For purposes of comparison, we divided the respondents into three groups
based on the last grade they had completed of schooling or
homeschooling. Group I were entirely unschooledâno K-12 schooling at all
and no homeschooling (the term âhomeschoolingâ here and elsewhere in
this report refers to schooling at home that is not unschooling). Group
II had one or more years of schooling or homeschooling, but none beyond
6th grade; and Group III had one or more years of schooling or
homeschooling beyond 6th grade. Thus, in theory (and in fact), those in
Group II could have had anywhere from 1 to 7 years (K-6) of
schooling/homeschooling and those in Group III could have had anywhere
from 1 to 11 years (K-10) of schooling/homeschooling.
The table below shows the breakdown of some of our statistical findings
across the three groups. The column headings show the number of
participants in each group. The first three data rows show,
respectively, the median and range of ages, the median and range of
total years of schooling plus homeschooling, and the percentage of
respondents that were female for each group. It is apparent that the
three groups were quite similar in number of participants, median age,
and percent female, but, of course, differed on the index of number of
years of schooling plus homeschooling.
Question 5 of the survey read, âPlease describe briefly any formal
higher education you have experienced, such as community
college/college/graduate school. How did you get into college without
having a high school diploma? How did you adjust from being unschooled
to being enrolled in a more formal type of educational experience?
Please list any degrees you have obtained or degrees you are currently
working toward.â
Iâll describe their responses to this question much more fully in the
next article in this series, where Iâll make ample use of the
participantsâ own words. Here Iâll simply summarize some of the
statistical findings that came from our coding of the responses.
Overall, 62 (83%) of the participants reported that they had pursued
some form of higher education. This included vocational training (such
as culinary school) and community college courses as well as
conventional bachelorâs degree programs and graduate programs beyond
that. As can be seen in data row 4 of the table, this percentage was
rather similar across the three groups.
Overall, 33 (44%) of the participants had completed a bachelorâs degree
or higher or were currently fulltime students in a bachelorâs program.
As shown in data row 5 of the table, the likelihood of pursuing a
bachelorâs degree or higher was inversely related to the amount of
previous schooling. Those in the always-unschooled group were the most
likely to go on to a bachelorâs program, and those in the group that had
some schooling past 6th grade were least likely to. This difference,
though substantial, did not reach the conventional level of statistical
significance (a chi square test revealed a p = .126).
Of the 33 who went on to a bachelorâs degree programs, 7 reported that
they had previously received a general education diploma (GED) by taking
the appropriate test, and 3 reported that they had gained a diploma
through an online procedure. The others had gained admission to a
bachelorâs program with no high-school diploma except, in a few cases, a
self-made diploma that, we assume, had no official standing. Only 7 of
the 33 reported taking the SAT or ACT tests as a route to college
admission. By far the most common stepping-stone to a four-year college
for these young people was community college. Twenty-one of the 33 took
community college courses before applying to a four-year college and
used their community college transcript as a basis for admission. Some
began to take such courses at a relatively young age (age 13 in one
case, age 16 in typical cases) and in that way gained a headstart on
their college career. By transferring their credits, some reduced the
number of semesters (and the tuition cost) required to complete a
bachelorâs degree. Several also mentioned interviews and portfolios as
means to gain college admission.
The colleges they attended were quite varied. They ranged from state
universities (e.g. the University of South Carolina and UCLA) to an Ivy
League university (Cornell) to a variety of small liberal-arts colleges
(e.g. Mt. Holyoke, Bennington, and Earlham).
The participants reported remarkably little difficulty academically in
college. Students who had never previously been in a classroom or read a
textbook found themselves getting straight Aâs and earning honors, both
in community college courses and in bachelorâs programs. Apparently, the
lack of an imposed curriculum had not deprived them of information or
skills needed for college success. Most reported themselves to be at an
academic advantage compared with their classmates, because they were not
burned out by previous schooling, had learned as unschoolers to be
self-directed and self-responsible, perceived it as their own choice to
go to college, and were intent on making the most of what the college
had to offer. A number of them reported disappointment with the college
social scene. They had gone to college hoping to be immersed in an
intellectually stimulating environment and, instead, found their fellow
students to be more interested in frat parties and drinking. I will
describe all this more fully in the next article in this series.
Question 4 of the survey read, âAre you currently employed? If so, what
do you do? Does your current employment match any interests/activities
you had as an unschooled child/teen? If so, please explain.â Our
analyses of responses to this question led us to generate a brief
follow-up questionnaire, which we sent to all of the participants, in
which we asked them to list and describe the paying jobs they had held,
to indicate whether or not they earned enough to support themselves, and
to describe any career aspirations they currently had in mind.
Sixty-three (84%) of the original 75 participants responded to this
follow-up questionnaire.
The great majority of respondents were gainfully employed at the time of
the survey. Exceptions were some of the full-time students and some
mothers with young children. Of those who responded to the follow-up
questionnaire, 78% said they were financially self-sufficient, though a
number of these added that their income was modest and they were
financially independent in part because of their frugal lifestyle.
Several of them described frugality as a value and said they would far
rather do work they enjoyed and found meaningful than other work that
would be more lucrative.
Collectively, the respondents had pursued a wide range of jobs and
careers, but two generalizations jumped out at us in our qualitative
analyses and coding of these.
The first generalization is that a remarkably high percentage of the
respondents were pursuing careers that we categorized as in the creative
artsâa category that included fine arts, crafts, music, photography,
film, and writing. Overall, 36 (48%) of the participants were pursuing
such careers. Remarkably, as shown in data row 8 of the table, 79% of
those in the always-unschooled group were pursuing careers in this
category. The observation that the always-unschooled participants were
more likely to pursue careers in the creative arts than were the other
participants was highly significant statistically (p < .001 by a chi
square test).
The second generalization is that a high percentage of participants were
entrepreneurs. Respondents were coded into this category if they had
started their own business and were making a living at it or working
toward making a living at it. This category overlapped considerably with
the creative arts category, as many were in the business of selling
their own creative products or services. Overall, by our coding, 40
(53%) of the respondents were entrepreneurs. As can be seen in data row
9 of the table, this percentage, too, was greatest for those in the
always-unschooled group (63%), but in this case the differences across
groups did not approach statistical significance.
In response to the question about the relationship of their adult
employment to their childhood interests and activities, 58 (77%) of the
participants described a clear relationship. In many cases the
relationship was direct. Artists, musicians, theater people, and the
like had quite seamlessly turned childhood avocations into adult
careers; and several outside of the arts likewise described natural
evolutions from avocations to careers. As shown in data row 6, the
percentage exhibiting a close match between childhood interests and
adult employment was highest for those in the always-unschooled group,
though this difference did not approach statistical significance.
All of these generalizations regarding unschoolersâ subsequent
employment will be illustrated, with quotations from the surveys, in the
third article in this series.
Question 7 of the survey read, âWhat, for you, were the main advantages
of unschooling? Please answer both in terms of how you felt as a child
growing up and how you feel now, looking back at your experiences. In
your view, how did unschooling help you in your transition toward
adulthood?âÂ
Almost all of the respondents, in various ways, wrote about the freedom
and independence that unschooling gave them and the time it gave them to
discover and pursue their own interests. Seventy percent of them also
said, in one way or another, that the experience enabled them to develop
as highly self-motivated, self-directed individuals. Many also wrote
about the learning opportunities that would not have been available if
they had been in school, about their relatively seamless transition to
adult life, and about the healthier (age-mixed) social life they
experienced out of school contrasted with what they would have
experienced in school.
Question 8 read, âWhat, for you, were the main disadvantages of
unschooling? Again, please answer both in terms of how you felt as a
child growing up and how you feel now. In your view, did unschooling
hinder you at all in your transition toward adulthood?â
Twenty-eight of the 75 respondents reported no disadvantage at all. Of
the remaining 47, the most common disadvantages cited were (1) dealing
with othersâ criticisms and judgments of unschooling (mentioned by at
least 21 respondents); (2) some degree of social isolation (mentioned by
16 respondents), which came in part from there being relatively few
other homeschoolers or unschoolers nearby; and (3) the social adjustment
they had to make, in higher education, to the values and social styles
of those who had been schooled all their lives (mentioned by 14
respondents).
For 72 of the 75 respondents, the advantages of unschooling clearly, in
their own minds, outweighed the disadvantages. The opposite was true for
only 3 of the participants, 2 of whom expressed emphatically negative
views both of their own unschooling and of unschooling in general (to be
detailed in the fourth article in this series).
Question 9 read, âIf you choose to have a family/children, do you think
you will choose to unschool them? Why or why not?â One respondent
omitted this question. Of the remaining 74, 50 (67%) responded in a way
that we coded as clearly âyes,â and among them 8 already had children of
school age and were unschooling them. Of the remainder, 19 responded in
a way that we coded as âmaybeâ (for them it depended on such factors as
the personality and desires of the child, the agreement of the other
parent, or the availability or lack of availability of a good
alternative school nearby), and five responded in a way that we coded as
clearly âno.â The five ânoâsâ included two of the three who were
negative about their own unschooling experience and three others, who
despite their positive feelings about their own unschooling would, for
various reasons, not unschool their own child.
The fourth article in this series will delve much more deeply into the
advantages and disadvantages of unschooling as perceived and described
by these respondents.
A major limitation of this study, of course, is that the participants
are a self-selected sample, not a random sample, of grown unschoolers.
As already noted, relatively few men responded to the survey. A bigger
problem is that the sample may disproportionately represent those who
are most pleased with their unschooling experiences and their subsequent
lives. Indeed, it seems quite likely that those who are more pleased
about their lives would be more eager to share their experiences, and
therefore more likely to respond to the survey, than those who are less
pleased. Therefore, this study, by itself, cannot be a basis for strong
claims about the experiences and feelings of the whole population of
unschoolers. What the study does unambiguously show, however, is that it
is possible to take the unschooling route and then go on to a highly
satisfying adult life. For the group who responded to our survey,
unschooling appears to have been far more advantageous than
disadvantageous in their pursuits of higher education, desired careers,
and other meaningful life experiences.
Stay tuned for the remaining three articles in this series (to be posted
later, one at a time), where you will read much more about these grown
unschoolersâ experiences, in their own words.
Note: The "Unschooling 101" illustration at the top of this article was
created by Idzie Desmarais. Idzie is a "kindergarten dropout" who
authors a great blog called I'm Unschooled. Yes I can Write. Her site
includes, among other things, a list of blogs by teenage and grown
unschoolers and a collection of interviews of grown unschoolers.
Can people with no K-12 schooling go to college and do well there? If
so, how?
Published on June 17, 2014 by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn
Can they go to college? If so, how do they get in and how do they adjust
to it? Can they do the work? Can they follow the rigorous schedule? Such
questions are often asked by people who have heard of âunschoolingâ. In
this post, I will address these questions, in the words of adults who
were unschooled and then went on to a formal bachelorâs degree program
or beyond.
This is the second in a series of four posts concerning a survey of
grown unschoolers that Gina Riley and I have recently conducted. The
first post presented a definition of unschooling and an overview of the
methods and the statistical findings of our study. Please look back at
that post to review them.
Unlike so many others in the general population, most unschoolers do not
consider college admission, or college graduation, or high grades in
college, to be in any general sense a measure of life success. Nor do
we. Our main concern in asking about college in this study was simply to
find out about the experiences of those who, for whatever reason, did
choose to go to college. These questions have practical ramifications,
because many potential unschoolers would be reluctant to take the
unschooling route if it precluded the possibility of college and
therefore the possibility of careers that, at least today, more or less
require college as a stepping-stone.
To learn about their college experiences, we asked the following as
Question 5 of the survey: âPlease describe briefly any formal higher
education you have experienced, such as community college/college/and
graduate school. How did you get into college without having a high
school diploma? How did you adjust from being unschooled to being
enrolled in a more formal type of educational experience? Please list
any degrees you have obtained or degrees you are currently working
toward.â
In this series of posts I use the term schooling to refer to attendance
at an out-of-home school, homeschooling to refer to academic lessons at
home that are supervised or enforced by a parent, and unschooling to
refer to the situation where children are not sent to school and are not
homeschooled (by the definition just given). In other contexts, and for
legal purposes, unschooling is considered to be a branch of
homeschoolingâand in some of the quotes, below, respondents use the term
"homeschooling" as an umbrella term that includes unschoolingâbut for
purposes of clarity I use the term homeschooling, here, in a more
limited way that does not include unschooling. Again, for more on the
definition of unschooling, for the purpose of this study, look back at
the previous post.
As noted in the previous post, 62 (83 percent) of the 75 grown
unschoolers who responded to our survey had gone on to some form of
higher education, and 33 (44 percent) had completed a bachelorâs degree
or higher or were currently full-time students in a bachelorâs program.
The other 29 who pursued higher education most often did so to gain
particular knowledge or a license related to their vocational interest,
for which they did not need a bachelorâs degree. Also as noted in the
previous post, the likelihood of pursuing a bachelorâs degree was
inversely related to the amount of previous schooling: Fifty-eight
percent of those in the always-unschooled group had pursued a bachelorâs
degree compared with 44 percent and 29 percent, respectively, in the
other two groups (look back at the previous post for details).
The always-unschooled group not only had the highest percentage who went
on to a bachelorâs degree, but also the highest percentage who did not
go on to any higher education. Indeed, of the 24 respondents in that
group, 14 went on to a bachelorâs degree and 6 did not pursue any form
of higher education. The latter generally said that they did not need
formal education to learn what they wanted to know or to pursue their
chosen careers. For example, one wrote, âIâve continued to unschool into
adulthood and will continue throughout my life. I think internships and
apprenticeships would be the natural extension of unschooling into the
traditional workplace. If I become interested in a field that seems like
college would be a good resource for, I would look into itâbut I would
still consider it part of the unschooling journey, which for me simply
means following curiosity wherever it leads.â Another simply stated, âAs
an adult, I realize that unschooling helped me see that college wasnât
necessary to have a successful, fulfilling lifeâ.
I also reported in the previous post that the most common route to
admission to a bachelorâs degree program, for our respondents, was to
take community college coursesâtypically beginning around age 16âand
then use that transcript to gain college admission. Twenty-one of the 33
had taken that route. Most went on to college without any sort of
official high school diploma, but seven reported that they had received
a GED by taking the appropriate test and three said that they had
received a diploma through an online procedure.
The great majority of respondents who went on to college reported no
difficulty doing the academic work. Indeed, most said they were at an
academic advantage, primarily because of their high motivation and their
high capacity for self-initiative, self-direction, and self-control.
The best way to convey the college experiences of the respondents is
through their own words. The rest of this post consists of quotations
from the surveys. The quotations are selected, but are quite
representative of the whole sample, with the exception of two who
described difficulties with their unschooling and pursuit of higher
education and whose experiences will be discussed in the fourth post in
this series. The themes that emerged from the sample as a whole are
these: (1) Getting into college was generally not particularly difficult
for these unschoolers; (2) The academic adjustment to college was
generally quite smooth for them; (3) Most felt advantaged because of
their high self-motivation and capacity for self-direction; and (4) The
most frequent complaints were about the lack of motivation and
intellectual curiosity among their college classmates, the constricted
social life of college, and, in a few cases, constraints imposed by the
curriculum or grading system.
To preserve the respondentsâ anonymity, I have identified each only by
gender, age at the time of filling out the questionnaire, and extent to
which the person had been unschooled. Iâve also removed potentially
identifying information from the quotations, especially the names of the
colleges attended. The preponderance of women in the sample below
reflects the high ratio of women compared to men who responded to our
survey (see previous post). I have chosen quotations primarily from
among those who had the least schooling or homeschooling before college,
and I've ordered them in such a way that those with no K-12 schooling or
homeschooling are first.
Age 20, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling. This woman, at age 20, had
already earned a BA degree and had gained what, for her, was an ideal
job in theatre production. She had taken some community college courses
between age 13 and 16 and then transferred to a four-year BA program at
her state university, which she completed in two and one-fourth years,
graduating summa cum laude. She wrote, âIt was not a rough adjustment
for me. I found that because I had not been in school before attending
college, I was much less burnt out than my peers and had a very fresh
perspective. I learned basic academic skills (essay composition,
research, etc.) very quickly⌠I struggled some with time management, but
eventually developed a means of staying organized.â
Age 21, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling. This young man was in his
third year of a four-year BA program, majoring in philosophy at a
selective Canadian university, about to declare honors status and with
plans to pursue a masterâs in philosophy. In explaining how he was
admitted, he wrote, âI set an appointment to talk with someone in the
admissions department, to find out what I would need to do to apply as
an unschooler. After I talked briefly about myself, my achievements, and
my style of education, and after he read a sample of my writing, he said
âI can't see any reason why you shouldn't be hereâ, and proceeded to
hand me the forms to become a student.â
Concerning adjustment, he wrote, âIt was a bit hard to adjust to the
amount of skimming-over that many introductory classes do: I can't bear
it when ideas are left unexplored. Mainly because of the depth of the
material covered, I've found that my best grades, and some of my best
work, have come from 4000-level courses. I've always learned in a
passionate way and don't want to stop the flow of an idea until it runs
its course.â
Age 24, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling. This woman, who had received
a BA from a highly selective liberal arts college, wrote, âIn contrast
to [my classmates], I found great inspiration from my teachers. At [name
of college deleted] the teachers must also be practitioners in their
fields of study, so I was working with people who were actively
interested and participating in their areas of expertise as a teacher
and as an actor, writer, director, translator, and so on. Having someone
with such a wealth of knowledge looking over my shoulder at the work I
was doing was revolutionary. It was not something I wish I had earlier,
not something I felt had been lacking my whole life, but it was
something that inspired me for my four years at school.â
At one point in her college career this young woman was asked to lead a
meeting of students in order to provide feedback to the instructor of a
course. She wrote, âI discovered that people wanted the teacher to tell
them what to think. âl wish heâd told us what to think when we read
Macbethâ someone said. âI wish heâd let us know what he wanted us to do
in our Hearts of Darkness essaysâ and on and on. It had never, ever
occurred to me to ask someone else to tell me what to think when I read
something.â
This respondent also wrote that the biggest drawback to college, for
her, was the lack of a normal, age-mixed social lifeâwith people who are
not all students. To achieve that, she joined the local Unitarian
Universalist church where she served as religious educator while still a
student.
Age 24, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling. This woman, who was
currently a full-time student working for a masterâs degree in English,
wrote: âI began attending a community college when I was 16 and enjoyed
every second of it. I did not feel as though I had to adjust to
anything. After my first psychology class, which was the first time I
had to take notes during a class, I went right home and began typing and
organizing my notes. I continued going part time for two years until I
was 18. The community college accepted my diploma, which I created
myself and my parents signed, along with my transcript, which I also
created. I turned my interests and activities into âcoursesâ for the
transcript and included a list of books that I had read over the last 4
years.â
âWhen I began looking for a four-year university to transfer to, my
decision not to take the SATs had a minor effect on my choices for
schools. One school refused to even open my application without SAT
scores, even though I had written them a letter detailing my success at
the college level for the last three years. I chose a university that
allowed me to register as a part time student for my first semester and
then transfer into a full-time program without having to provide SAT
scores.â
Age 29, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling. This woman, who had
graduated with high honors from a selective private womenâs college and
then gone on to a masterâs degree, wrote, âOn top of accepting me, they
put me into their freshman honors class. I definitely felt strange going
into a formal school, especially being in an honors program. I spent
long hours studying and doing my homeworkâway more work than my
classmates were doing. After I got straight A's for the first half of my
first semester I started to relax a little more, and I realized I was
working way too hard. So I learned how to learn like my fellow
classmates wereâby memorizing everything just before a test. I still
kept getting straight A's but was doing hardly any work at all.
Eventually I learned how to balance itâactually delving into material I
enjoyed and memorizing the stuff I wasn't interested in. It wasn't hard;
it mostly just made me really appreciate the fact that I hadn't been in
school my whole life.â
âI definitely experienced a [social] transition in college. I wasn't
into frat parties, drinking heavily and the like, so my first year/first
two years I was a bit of a loner, with only a few friends. My last year
in school I finally started drinking and going to house parties, so I
âfit inâ a little better and got a wider group of âfriends.â I realized
this was how everyone else in college was socializing and it felt off to
me, not genuine or a way to really make lasting connections. Out of
school I returned to how I had always functioned socially, and lo and
behold, that was what everyone else was doing. I met friends through my
jobs, through theatres I worked in, through other friends, and at coffee
shops.â
Age 29, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling. This woman, who had earned a
bachelorâs degree in fine arts at an unnamed college, wrote, âI did have
a high school diploma. There would have been greater challenges without
that, but for me the transition was logistically really easy. Despite
the completely unschooled nature of my upbringing, my mother had our
home registered as a private school with the state of CA, so on paper I
looked ânormalâ in the system.
"I went to Community College part time between the ages of 16 and 19
years old. I transferred to a four year school, which I attended for
three years before receiving my BFA with High Distinction at 22 years
old. I loved collegeâit stands out as one of the most focused and
fulfilling periods of my young life! When I began community college, I
was younger than other students, and I was concerned that I would feel
behind, but I wasn't. I didn't like taking tests, and I still feel a lot
of anxiety about tests to this day, but I excelled in most ways and
graduated with a high GPA.â
âGrowing up, I understood we were outside of the norm, and that was met
by kids and adults alike with a lot of skepticism at times. Despite my
momâs great confidence, I was concerned about whether I had what it took
to succeed in the âreal world.â College was the time in my life where I
confronted the unknown and decided I was probably OK!â
Age 30, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling. This man took classes at a
local state college beginning at age 16, and then transferred to a
small, selective, progressive private college where he completed a BS in
conservation biology and ecology. After that, he earned an MS at a state
university and completed one year of a Ph.D. program at another state
university, before taking a leave of absence from school because of a
serious illness. Concerning adjustment, he reported no difficulty with
the academic work, but objected to the constraints imposed by the system
of evaluation. He wrote, âEven the requirement-free environment of [name
of college omitted] felt stifling to me (e.g. its perverse grading
incentive to avoid one's own directions within a field in favor of the
professor's predilections, formal academic bias to the near exclusion of
experiential learning, and emphasis on tangible academic products rather
than learning/applying process), and grad school has been many times
worse (not only in terms of more structured and formalized educational
paradigms, but also of lower-level educational opportunities).â He
nevertheless plans to return to the Ph.D. program when his illness is
brought under control, as he is committed to a career aimed at restoring
and maintaining biodiversity.
Age 32, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling. This woman, now a mom on the
brink of unschooling her own children, wrote: âI took a course in
Emergency Medicine and worked a couple of odd jobs while I researched
college options, selected my preferred school, and went about the
application process. I was scholarshipped for a large chunk of my
undergraduate education due to a portfolio that I assembled and my
college interviews. Applying for college didn't seem to be too difficult
without an official diploma, because I had SAT scores to submit and
high-school transcripts that my mom prepared from all of her years of
journaling our unschooling exploits. I remember being very restless for
the first one to two years of college. I didn't feel very challenged by
the core classes I was enrolled in and was itching to move on to my
major and minor classes. College was fun, but I was stunned to realize
that the majority of the other students didn't work or pursue any other
areas of their lives apart from their studies and partying. I supported
myself throughout my four-year degree typically working at least two
jobs while taking well above the minimum class/load requirements so that
I could graduate on time. Two years into my degree I took a full time
job in the creative department of the local newspaper, where I continued
to work after graduation.â
Age 35, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling. This woman, who had earned a
BA at a small progressive college and then a masterâs degree, wrote,
âThrough my whole college experience I balked at students who didn't do
the work, even in the courses that were less than desirable or exciting
for me. I think my educational background set me up for thinking âwhy
are you there, if you aren't going to participate?â This was frustrating
for me to see. For I have always chosen myself to pursue education, and
even though this personal choice meant that there were some courses I
had to take that I wasn't excited about, I still knew what my motivation
was for being there. Over time I have learned that these fellow students
who were frustrating to be around had been exposed to a drastically
different relationship with learning and education.â
Age 19, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling past second grade. This young
woman had been diagnosed with dyslexia when she was in second grade at
school and was taken out of school because of her unhappiness there. As
an unschooler, she learned to read at her own pace and in her own way.
Later, she was tested and diagnosed with other learning disabilities,
but these did not hold her back. During her last two years of
unschooling, she took community college courses and then transferred to
a bachelorâs degree program at a selective private liberal arts college.
She wrote, âI enrolled at [name of college omitted], where I just
completed my freshman year. I maintained a 3.9 GPA through the whole
year, and I am returning there in the fall.
"I think that unschooling actually prepared me better for college than
most of my peers, because I already had a wealth of experience with
self-directed study. I knew how to motivate myself, manage my time, and
complete assignments without the structure that most traditional
students are accustomed to. While most of my peers were floundering and
unable to meet deadlines, I remained on top of my work because I have
always been an independent learner. I know how to figure things out for
myself and how to get help when I need it. While I struggled to adjust
in the beginning, it was purely due to the difficulties caused by my
learning disabilities. By the end of the year I had overcome my
struggles and excelled in school. I am currently working on my BA in
English from [name of college omitted], and after that I intend to go on
for a Masters in Library Science.â
Age 24, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling past second grade. This man,
more so than most of the others, found that he had to jump through some
hoops to get into community college, as a stepping stone to a bachelorâs
program at a selective state university, but had no difficulties
adapting academically. He wrote, âAt first I did not want to attend
college. When I graduated from homeschooling/unschooling in 2005, I
worked at a gym selling gym memberships for two years. Ultimately I
figured out that I needed to go to college so I attended a local
community college. It was difficult getting in without a high school
diploma, and basically I had to go to the county school board office to
obtain a 'homeschool completion affidavit' to prove to the college that
I actually finished the 12th grade. After a bunch of red tape, they
accepted it. Since I never took the SAT, ACT or other standardized test
for college prior to enrolling in the community college, I had to take a
placement test before I could enroll in classes. After all of this was
out of the way, I was viewed as a regular student.
"I went on to graduate from [name of college omitted] with my
Associateâs degree and a 4.00 GPA. Then I attended [name of university
omitted] and obtained a Bachelorâs degree, also with a 4.00 GPA. Most
recently I just finished my Masterâs degree at [name of university
omitted].â
Age 24, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling past second grade. This
woman, who earned a BA from a large state university, wrote, âThere is
an adjustment period going into âschoolâ from unschooling, but you also
have the huge advantage of not being burned out and hating school
already. Learning is still something you look forward to.â This
respondent went on to say that she received nearly all Aâs and then a
full scholarship to law school, and added: âI'm not trying to brag, so
much as prove that unschooling works. We took a lot of crap from
friends, relatives, and strangers during the entire time we were
unschooling. So now, I like having the credentials to prove that
unschooling is a legitimate way to educate and indeed, in my book, the
preferred way to educate.â
Age 26, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling past second grade. This
woman, who had graduated with honors from a highly selective liberal
arts college, wrote, âThe transition was a difficult one for me, not for
the academics, but for the feeling of being trapped within a system. The
college bubble felt tiny to me and I was in a constant state of
simmering frustration at being told even simple things like which
classes to take and when. As someone who had made those choices myself
for years, I felt disrespected that it was assumed that I didn't know
what level of study I was ready for. It took most of the first year for
me to come to a place of acceptance, remembering that this, too, was a
choice that I made that I could change if I wanted to. I never loved
college like many people do and never felt as free as I had before
college or in the time after I graduated.â This respondent subsequently
attended graduate school in a medically related field and reported that
to be a better experience, because of the real-world setting of the
clinical work.
Age 35, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling past fourth grade. This
woman, who had gained a degree from a highly selective liberal arts
college, wrote, âI applied to eight colleges and was accepted at all of
them [in 1995]âŚI interviewed at all eight colleges; for most of them I
was their first âhomeschool/unschooledâ applicant. Several colleges told
me I was accepted at the conclusion of the interviews, right after they
informed me that I was âsurprisinglyâ well-spoken and bright. I did take
(and did very well on) both the SATs and the ACTs, which probably offset
the lack of transcripts.â
âThe transition was fairly easy, though I was homesick. I think college
is a lot like unschoolingâyou take classes that interest you, do most of
the work on your own, and are responsible for getting it done and turned
in on time. You are really responsible for your own education!â
âFrom [name of college deleted] I received a BA in both computer science
and mathematics. It proves something: I never had any formal math
training beyond 5th grade, but ended up tutoring other students in
Calculus 1, 2 and 3. I never had a computer of my own until my junior
year of college, but majored in computer science where I wrote extensive
computer programs, and programmed my own robot.â This person then went
on to a BS and Mastersâ in nursing, became a nurse practitioner, and, at
the time of the survey, was contemplating going back to school for a
doctorate.
Age 32, no K-12 schooling or homeschooling past seventh grade; mix of
schooling and homeschooling before that. This woman, who had received a
bachelorâs degree from an Ivy League university, was a mother
unschooling her own children, a yoga instructor, and a student training
to do yoga therapy when she filled out the survey. Concerning college
admission and adjustment to college, she wrote, âWhen I was 15, I wanted
to take community college courses. At that time, dual enrollment of
homeschooled students wasn't really accepted, so I was told I needed to
get a GED to be allowed to enroll. Although I think it disappointed my
parents for me to get my GED, it has helped to have that paper that
shows I completed some sort of high school education. That said, I
refuse to take standardized tests now (because I believe they aren't a
measure of intelligence or even what a student has learned), so I did
complete my associate's degree before I attempted to transfer to a
four-year university (some schools will accept a two-year degree in
place of SAT/ACT scores.) I graduated from [the Ivy League University]
with my BA in psychology in 2003. I think unschooling helped me adjust
to college; I was so used to being able to study whatever I wanted that
it seemed natural to take classes that interested me. And unschooling
also follows the premise that if a child has a goal, they'll learn
whatever they need to in order to meet it. For instance, I don't like
math, but I knew I would need to learn it in order to graduate. So
that's what I did.â
As I noted in the first post on this study, we must be cautious in
interpreting the results of this survey. By necessity, as we had no way
of forcing people into the study, the sample here is a group of grown
unschoolers who chose to participate, and they may well be among those
unschoolers who are happiest with their experiences and most eager to
tell about them. However, at minimum, we can conclude this: The college
option is very definitely available to unschoolers. Those who want to go
to college and take the steps required to get in have no particular
difficulty getting in or doing well once there. Moreover, the
similarities in responses within this relatively diverse sample suggests
a certain common groud of experience. The grown unschoolers who went on
to college had good reasons in their own minds for doing so, did not
want to waste their time there, seemed to work harder and achieve more
than did their schooled classmates, and generally felt advantaged
because of their previous experiences controlling their own lives and
learning.
When people opt out of K-12 schooling, what sorts of careers do they go
on to?
Published on June 21, 2014 by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn
This is the third in a series of four posts describing the results of a
survey of grown unschoolers that my colleague Gina Riley and I recently
conducted. It is about the career choices of these people, who skipped
all or part of K-12 and took charge of their own education. In brief, we
found that most of them have gone on to careers that are extensions of
interests and passions they developed in childhood play; most have
chosen careers that are meaningful, exciting, and joyful to them over
careers that are potentially more lucrative; a high percentage have
pursued careers in the creative arts; and quite a few (including 50% of
the men) have pursued STEM careers. The great majority of them have
pursued careers in which they are their own bosses.
Before reading on, I suggest that you look back at the first post in
this series, if you havenât already read it. It presents the definition
of unschooling that served as a criterion for admission into the study,
describes our survey method and ways of analyzing the findings, presents
age- and gender-breakdowns of the 75 grown unschoolers who responded and
met the criteria, classifies them into three groups based on amount of
unschooling, and presents a breakdown of some of the statistical
findings according to those groups.
You might also want to look back at the second post in the series, which
focuses on the college experiences of the 33 respondents who chose to
pursue a bachelorâs degree or higher. It describes how they got into
college without a standard high-school diploma or transcript and how
they adapted, academically and socially, once there.
Now, in this third post in the series, I elaborateâbeyond the
statistical summary presented in the first postâon the careers that
these generally young adults (median age 24) have pursued. The
information discussed here came primarily from Question 4 of the survey,
which read, âAre you currently employed? If so, what do you do? Does
your current employment match any interests/activities you had as an
unschooled child/teen? If so, please explain.â Further information also
came from a brief follow-up questionnaire in which we asked them to list
and describe the paying jobs they had held, to indicate whether or not
they earned enough to support themselves, and to describe any career
aspirations they currently had in mind. As noted in the first post, the
great majority were gainfully employed and were supporting themselves,
despite the difficult economic time in which the survey was conducted.
Now, I turn to the general conclusions about the types of jobs and
careers they have pursued.
interests.
By our coding, 58 (77%) of the participants described a clear
relationship between their childhood interests and activities and their
current vocation or career. This percentage was highest for the 24
participants in the always-unschooled group (21/24 = 88%), but was high
in the other two groups as well (see the table in the first post in this
series). The sample included professional artists and musicians who had
played at art or music as children; computer technicians and programmers
who had developed their skills in childhood play; and outdoor
enthusiasts who had found ways to make a living that embraced their love
of nature.
Here are three examples that are among my favoritesâfavorites because
they are the kinds of careers that school curricula ignore, careers that
can strike the fancy of brave young people not in school, who have time
and freedom to follow their dreams.
⢠Becoming a circus performer, starting a circus, and then becoming a
tall-ship bosun. One of our respondents, a 26-year-old woman who had
always been unschooled, wrote:
âAt the age of 3, I decide to become a circus performer, and at the age
of 5 I enrolled in an after-school circus program. I trained and
performed as a circus performer continuously until the age of 17 and
on-and-off ever since. From the ages of 19 to 24, my best friend and I
ran our own contemporary circus company. As a result of that, I overcame
a strong fear of heights to work as a trapeze artist and learned a
considerable amount about rigging so that I would be able to ensure my
own safety in the air.
âAs my circus career has waned, I've tried a number of new things and
the one that caught my full attention has been tall ship sailing.
Working on the ocean is a very captivating experience and it employs the
skills that I learned in the circus nearly every single day - skills
like balance, hand-eye coordination, and even getting along with people
in cramped living arrangements.
âI am currently employed as a tall-ship rigger/bosun. âŚThe job of bosun
can change from ship to ship, but aboard training vessels my work
involves maintenance as well as training and sailing. I am in charge of
inspecting, maintaining and fixing the rigging, the sails, the deck and
the hull. Additionally I am expected to be involved in sailing the
vessel, leading a watch during extended periods at sea, educating the
public about the history of the vessels and educating the trainees about
sail handling and vessel maintenance.
âI would like to sail and drive large sailing vessels around the world.
I am currently studying for a 100T master's license from the US Coast
Guard that would allow me to be the captain of a vessel of 100 gross
tonnes or less. USCG license are graduated by size of vessel and area of
operation so this is the first step towards a license for a larger
vessel.â
⢠Wilderness aerial photographer. This 21-year-old young man, who left
school after first grade, had started a business of taking beautiful (I
can say that, because I saw some of them) artistic photos of wilderness
scenes from the air. He wrote: âGrowing up with so much freedom was
awesome! I did lots of outdoor activities including skiing in the winter
and hiking/camping in the summer. If I hadn't done it this way, I'm not
sure I would have been able to combine the three things I really
enjoy--outdoors, flying, and photography--into a business.â He wrote
further that he started his own photography business when he was 15
years old and also, that same year, started paragliding. The paragliding
led to an interest in flying fixed-wing aircraft, and then he combined
all three of his passions into a single business.
⢠Assistant (beginning at age 18) to a famous movie director, producer,
and screenwriter. This young man, who was 20 years old when he responded
to the survey, was unschooled except for kindergarten and 9th grade (he
went to school that one year to âtry it outââhe made honor roll and then
left). His passion for film started early. By age 11 he was making
YouTube videos with friends. He began taking community college courses
in mass communication at age 16, and, at age 18, was in the process of
applying to film school when a great opportunity aroseâto be a local
production assistant on a major film that was being produced where he
lived. His bosses liked him so much that they told him, âIf you can get
yourself to L.A., weâll keep you on the show.â One thing led to another,
he became close to the famous director, and at the time of the survey
had a higher-level job, in L.A., on the production side of another major
film. In response to our question about whether he earned enough to be
financially independent, he wrote, âvery much so.â His ultimate goal is
to direct movies himself, and he is working diligently toward that goal.
⢠âSelf-employed polymath.â A number of respondents showed a readiness,
even eagerness, to change careers as their interests changedâjust as
they had changed activities as their interests changed when they were
children. The extreme of this was one of the older respondents to our
survey, 39 at the time. He had experienced a mix of schooling and
unschooling through tenth grade and then left high school for good. He
went on to a bachelorâs degree in mechanical engineering and a life that
he refers to as that of âa self-employed polymath.â He wrote, âAs a
polymath, what I do now is very much what I have always done (I mostly
ignored traditional schooling, even when I was forced to go); I do
anything and everything that catches my attention. Life is about
learning, growing, and sharing your discoveries with others who want to
learn and grow too.â
His list of jobs held over the years includes, but is not limited to,
the following: research & development consultant for a medical
manufacturing company; clinical hypnotherapist; master practitioner of
neuro-linguistic programming; director of tutoring services for a
community college; wilderness survival, first aid, and bushcraft expert;
PADI divemaster (scuba diving) instructor; martial arts instructor (Kung
Fu, Judo, and Jeet Kun Do); and author of two published childrenâs books
(and currently working on a new series of bedtime stories).
lucrative careers.
This generalization overlaps considerably with the previous one, about
careers as extensions of childhood interests. Unschooled children play,
explore, and observe in the real world and find their passions. Then
they pursue those passions in adult vocations and careers, or they may
find new passions and pursue them. A number said that their life as
adults was not much different from their earlier life as unschoolers, as
they continued to play, explore, and learn. In response to our question
about whether they were financially independent, many responded that
they could support themselves only because they lived frugally, but they
would rather live frugally and pursue their interests than make more
money at a job that didnât interest them.
The four case examples above illustrate this second generalizationâabout
pursuing enjoyable and meaningful careers--as much as they do the first
generalization. Here are three more examples, however, in which the
career reflects not so much the specific activities of childhood as a
set of ideals, or social concerns, that began to take root in childhood.
⢠Greenpeace activist and community organizer. This woman, age 28 at the
time of the survey, was one of the more schooled participants in our
survey. She attended public school through age 13 and then refused to go
anymore, and so was unschooled after that. As a child she immersed
herself in art, but she was also interested in ârevolutions and
wildlife.â I suspect that her school refusal was itself a sign of her
revolutionary spirit. She went to art-college, with the support of a
substantial scholarship awarded on the basis of her portfolio, and then
taught art for a number of years. But then she shifted careers to her
other great interest and became a full-time Greenpeace activist,
fundraiser, and manager. In response to our question about supporting
herself financially, she wrote: âYep, I make a modest salary. I didnât
exactly chose my job because itâs the highest paying. Itâs more
important to me that I spend my time ding something that benefits my
community.â
⢠Founder of an environmentally- and socially-responsible construction
company. This woman, age 30 at the time of the survey, had never gone to
school but was homeschooled up to age â13 or 14,â when full unschooling
began. She wrote: âI am an owner/employee of a construction companyâŚ.
The company is a direct reflection of many of my interests and
activities as an unschooled youth-- for example, democracy in the
workplace, environmental stewardship, construction and building,
facilitation and project management.
âI am also the president of a small non-profit that works to support the
use of alternative materials in construction through the development of
technical guidelines. I am the project manager for our technical
guideline project and coordinate with our diverse teams of supporters
around the world. My interest in regulation and policy development, as
well as a commitment to support the use of environmentally friendly
alternative materials, are both directly connected to interests and
projects I undertook as an unschooled young adult.â
âI completed a series of internships over 3 years ⌠during which I
studied permaculture, natural building, community facilitation, and
conflict resolution. âŚ
âThe main advantage of unschooling was that it supported me in
understanding myself clearly, and helping me craft an adult life that is
meaningful to me. I do not identify as ever having stopped unschooling--
I am continuing to learn as much as I did as a youth. When I was 15, I
was studying microscopes and nuclear particles, and now I am studying
non-profit bylaws and building codes, or training for a marathon. I am
30 years old, and I have been practicing how to run my life, be
motivated towards my own goals, think creatively about how to solve
problems, and seek out what interests me for 20 years. I find myself
consistently in an advantageous position compared to my âschooledâ
peersâŚâ
⢠Urban planner, with focus on non-motorized transportation design. This
30-year-old person, who was entirely unschooled from K-12,
self-identified as gender queer and preferred not to be classed as
either male or female. After completing a bachelorâs degree program,
this person held jobs that reflected the personâs interests in planning,
management, and urban development. These included assistant town planner
in a small city, administrative assistant for a public health department
at an Ivy League university; research assistant for a project involving
bicycle transportation (while a graduate student); program coordinator
for a low-income housing non-profit; and post-graduate research fellow
for the Bureau of Transportation at a large city. This person wrote:
âMy goal is to build a career in either bicycle and pedestrian
transportation planning/policy or in human factors engineering. ⌠My
interests have typically come in short, intense cycles. I figured this
out when I was about 16 and started researching career options that
would let me change projects every few months. At 17 I discovered urban
design, which has acted as a thematic connection for a lot of my more
passing interests over the last decade. As a topic it connects to some
of the things I enjoyed as a teenager - theater set design, model
building, textile design, ecology - but it took moving from the rural
areas where I grew up to [name of large city deleted] before I really
understood what it was that interested me about design. My path since
then has been twisty but generally linear. I studied pre-architecture
and drafting at community college, got into architecture and urban
design at college, wrote a thesis on post-socialist urban planning
policy in Vietnam and Hungary in undergrad, worked in a town planning
office for a while, and got interested in my current specialties of
non-motorized transportation and qualitative research methods for
analyzing travel behavior once I started grad schoolâŚâ
As I noted in the first post, by our coding, 36 (48%) of the 75 survey
participants were pursuing careers that we categorized as in the
creative artsâa category that included fine arts, crafts, photography,
film, theater, and writing. Remarkably, 19 (79%) of the 24 participants
in the always-unschooled group were pursuing such careers. The
observation that the always-unschooled participants were more likely to
pursue careers in the creative arts than were the other participants was
highly significant statistically (p < .001 by a chi square testâlook
back at the table in the first post in this series). I could speculate
about possible reasons for such a higher concentration of creative
artists in the always-unschooled group than in the other groups, but,
truthfully, your guess is as good as mine. Here, as illustration, are
three examples of respondents pursuing such careers.
⢠Production manager at a large theater company. This 29-year-old woman,
who was unschooled for all of K-12 but had gone on to a bachelorâs
degree in theatre arts, wrote: âI am a working artist and the production
manager of [a major theater company in New York]. I feel like the way I
was raised led directly to what I do now. The tools I learned as a
child-- to pursue new ideas/interests/knowledge, to creatively solve
problems, to actively participate in my community, and more--have helped
me greatly. It's actually pretty much what I still do, just in the
context of a grown-up life. The organizing, lighting design, dancing,
making things is exactly what I was doing as a child and teen.â
To our question about financial independence, she wrote: âNYC is a hard
city to live in, but I have been financially independent the whole time
since graduating from college in 2008. I have never had trouble finding
work. I gravitate to experimental performance and work with/for a lot of
artists. My fees are not high. But it's worth it to me to work on
projects that I find interesting and believe in.â
⢠Textile artist/crafter and entrepreneur. This 21-year-old woman, who
was unschooled for all of K-12 and had pursued no higher education,
wrote: âIâm a self employed artist/crafter, I sell online and locally. I
am absolutely doing what I was interested in as a child! I've always
been making things, I love what I do.â In response to our question about
financial independence, she wrote: âYes I became financially independent
at age 19 and have maintained that (now 21) It is very important to me
to make a good living and I feel very proud watching my income rise
little by little each year. As an unschooled adult I felt pressured to
succeed professionally because people doubted I could/would, also to
show my younger siblings what that looks like for us.â
⢠Self-employed piano and violin instructor and aspiring performer. This
28-year-old woman, who was homeschooled to age 10 and unschooled after
that, had two jobs at the time she responded to the survey. One was that
of self-employed web designer, a business she had maintained for about
ten years. The otherâand more significant job to herâwas that of
self-employed piano and violin instructor, which she had been doing for
about seven years. Concerning the latter, she wrote:âThis is my career
path, and I have built it all myselfâŚ. I currently have 31 students. I
teach one-on-one private lessons, teaching pieces/songs, theory, ear
training, music history, composition, technique, performance, and share
my passion for music. I love my job!â
In response to our question about financial independence, she wrote:
âYes. I run my own business, and it brings in enough income to
comfortably sustain a living in the expensive area of [name of city
deleted]. âMaking a good livingâ is very important to me. But the way I
look at making a good living is as follows: Being financially
responsible for my own life and affording the things that are important
to me. And most importantly, doing this in a way that brings me joy.â
In concluding her response to our career question, she wrote: âI love my
current career as a music teacher, but I am also aspiring to perform
with my band as a second career path. I play bass and sing in this band,
and next week we are heading in to the studio to record a full-length
album that we raised the money for through a Kickstarter campaign. ⌠We
are continuing to work toward our goals with this record, making touring
plans for 2014, and looking over an offer from a record label.â
As I noted in the first post in the series, respondents were coded as
being entrepreneurs if they had started their own business and were
making a living at it or working toward making a living at it. This
category overlapped greatly with the creative arts category, as many
were in the business of selling their own creative arts or services.
Overall, by our coding, 40 (53%) of the respondents were entrepreneurs.
This percentage, too, was greatest for those in the always-unschooled
group (63%), but in this case the difference across groups did not
approach statistical significance. A number of the case examples
presented above are also examples of entrepreneurship.
Sociologists who have studied work satisfaction have found that the
kinds of jobs and careers that are most satisfying to people are those
that involve a great deal of occupational self-direction. One thing that
is eminently clear from our study is that the unschoolers who responded
to our survey had, overwhelmingly, chosen careers very high in this
quality. They were, by enlarge, working for themselves or in work
environments where they were their own bosses. No big surprise here:
People who opted out of top-down schooling, where they would be the
underlings doing work dictated to them by others, generally opted out of
that in their careers also.
We had not initially thought of coding the careers to see how many were
in the STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) category, but
did so after the question was raised in a comment on the first post. We
used the definition of STEM published by the National Science Foundation
(here), which is broader than some, and includes social sciences as well
as natural sciences, technology, engineering, and math. However, we only
included people in the social sciences if they were conducting research
in that realm and/or were doing applied work that made use of technical
aspects of a social science. As we did with other analyses, Gina and I
first coded independently and then compared notes and resolved
differences in discussion.
Overall, by our coding, 22 (29%) of the 75 participants were pursuing
STEM careers. When we broke this down by gender (leaving out the person
who did not wish to be classified by gender), we found that 13 (22%) of
the 58 women and 8 (50%) of the 16 men in the sample were coded as
having STEM careers. Despite the relatively small number of men in the
sample, this difference in ratio is statistically significant (p = .030
by a chi square test). Apparently, the tendency for men to go into such
careers at a higher rate than women, which has been well established for
the general population, occurs among unschoolers as well.
The majority of those in STEM in our sample were in some aspect of
engineering or computer technology, but the sample also included an
archaeologist, field biologist, math and science teacher, intelligence
analyst, and four involved in various aspects of medical technology.
In the next and final post on our survey, I will examine the grown
unschoolersâ overall evaluations of their unschooling experiences. What
did they like and not like about being unschooled? What was their social
life like? Would they unschool their own children? Are there any who
wish they hadnât been unschooled, and, if so, what are their regrets?
Most were very happy to have been unschooled, but a few were not. Why?
Published on July 12, 2014 by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn
This is the last in a series of four posts concerning a survey,
conducted recently by Gina Riley and me, of 75 adults (age 18 to 49,
median age 24) who were âunschooledâ during much or all of what would
otherwise have been their K-12 school years. âUnschoolersâ do not go to
school and, unlike traditional homeschoolers, are not required by their
parents or others to do school-like activities at home. They are not
presented with a curriculum, or required lessons, or a system of
academic evaluation. Their parents and others may help in various ways,
but unschooled children are in charge of their own educations.
Another term for unschooling, favored by some, is âlife learning.â
Unschooled children live their lives, and in the process they learn. To
unschoolers, what we normally think of as the âschool yearsâ are not
different educationally from other years; people learn all the time.
They learn incidentally as they play, work, and converse. They also
learn deliberately, to solve real-life problems and to prepare for
future steps in life; but, for unschoolers, such deliberate learning is
always their own choice, at their own initiative.
In the first post in this series, I described the methods of the survey,
presented a breakdown of the respondents based on the last grade of
school or homeschool they had completed before unschooling (24 of them
had always been unschooled), and presented a statistical summary of the
results. In the second post I elaborate on their experiences with higher
education, after unschooling; and in the third post I described the
careers they have pursued. In brief, the findings presented in those
posts indicate that the grown unschoolers who responded to our survey
had no particular difficulty pursuing higher education and careers, that
they have veered toward careers in the arts and careers that fall into
the National Science Foundationâs definition of STEM careers, and that
many have started their own businesses. Now, in this post, I elaborate
on the respondentsâ subjective evaluations of their unschooling
experience.
they have children.
Perhaps the best indicator of their feelings about unschooling came in
their responses to the 9th and final question in our survey: If you
choose to have children, do you think you will choose to unschool them?
Why or why not?Â
One respondent omitted this question. Of the other 74, 50 (67%)
responded in a way that we interpreted as a clear âyes,â indicating that
they would definitely unschool their own child, or would unless the
child expressed a clear preference for something else or circumstances
prevented it. This number includes eight respondents who already had
children of school age and were unschooling them. The reasons they gave
for preferring to unschool their children are quite similar to the
answers they gave (below) to our question about the advantages they
experienced in their own unschooling.
Another nineteen (25%) responded in a way that we interpreted as
âmaybe,â meaning that they would consider unchooling, but would weigh it
against other possibilities, such as a progressive or democratic
alternative school. Only five (7%) responded in a way that we
interpreted as a definite or likely âno.â Of these, two were very
unhappy about their own unschooling (described later); another felt that
unschooling worked well for her but poorly for her younger brother, so
she was against unschooling except for highly self-motivated
individuals; another preferred democratic schooling (such as a Sudbury
school) over unschooling, for the greater sense of community it offered;
and a fifth, who was in the military, favored a semi-structured school
environment, such as a Montessori school, so the child would learn to
follow rules set by others, including ones that seemed arbitrary.
the age-diversity of their friends.
A common question that homeschoolers and unschoolers endure is about
their social lives. An assumption, and a stereotype, is that children
who do not attend a school would not make friends, would not learn how
to get along with peers, and would grow up socially awkward. At the risk
of generating some eye rolling, we, too, asked about socialization. The
sixth question of the survey was: What was your social life like growing
up? How did you meet other kids your age? How was your social experience
as an unschooler similar to or different from the types of social
experiences you have now?
Our coding of responses to this question indicated that 52 (69%) of the
75 were clearly happy about their social lives as unschoolers. Of the
remaining 23, nine described what we coded as a âpoorâ social life, and
the other 14 expressed mixed feelings. Those with a poor social life
talked mostly about social isolationâa point to which Iâll return later.
Those with mixed feelings typically wrote of difficulties finding
compatible friendsâdifficulties that might or might not be attributable
to unschooling. (Not everyone in school has an easy time finding
compatible friends.)
Most of the respondents appeared to have had no particular difficulty
meeting other children and making friends. Forty-one (55%) of the 75
wrote that their local homeschooling group was a major source of
friendships. Thirty-two (43%) stated that organized afterschool
activitiesâsuch as dance, theatre, sports, and art classesâprovided
opportunities to meet others and make friends. Many also mentioned
church or religious organizations, community or volunteer associations,
and such youth organizations as Boys and Girls Clubs, 4H, and Scouting.
Teenagers who took part-time jobs met others through their work. Eight
participants made special mention of Not Back to School Camp as a place
where they made lasting friendships with other unschoolers, which were
maintained through the Internet when camp wasnât in session. Some also
stated that their families were very social and involved in the
community, so friends were made through family connections.
Even though we didnât ask about age mixing, 51 (68%) of the respondents
mentioned that an advantage of not going to school was that they
interacted with and made friends with people of all ages. Many wrote
about the special value of friendships with older and younger people.
Some pointed out that in the real world, outside of school, people must
know how to get along with others of all ages, so, in that sense at
least, the social lives of unschoolers (and homeschoolers in general)
are more normal than are the age-segregated social lives of children in
school.
One 19-year-old woman, who apparently enjoyed (and still enjoys) an
especially rich social life, wrote: âI made friends at church or in the
neighborhood or through sports or random classes I would take. I made
friends at the store, at the post office or at the park. I made friends
with people of all walks of life, all ages, all social and economic
backgrounds. Our house was and still is a meeting place for many
different types of people. We have always had the house where hungry
kids came for a meal, where any of my mother's friends or brothers would
come for a place to crash when things went awry or a place for just
hiding out for a weekend from all that was bothering you. Some nights we
cook for 20 people, others only for our family, so it is never dull. It
is a great way to learn about people when you see them in all different
situations and all different lights. I have learned what true friends
are and have the ability to discern true friendship from passing
friendship in most cases. My best friends are a 15-year-old girl who
loves to dance and who is crafty, a young man my age who is slowly going
blind but who is very driven, and an older woman who is enjoying
retirement. It gives me perspectives I don't think I could gain from a
group of people only my own age.â
An example of a response that we coded as a poor social life was this
one, written by a Canadian woman, who was quite happy with other aspects
of her unschooling experience: âMy social life was not very good, mainly
because of our location. It was a very small town with very typical
middle-of-nowhere problems. Drinking, drugs, poverty and the like. I
realise in retrospect that most of the children who were my neighbours
had grown up in a bad situation and didn't know any better, but I didn't
understand that at the time and I was miserable. By the time I was a
teenager and we had moved to a new province, I found that I just
couldn't break into the social groups of the local homeschooling
community and, in the end, I wasn't really interested in doing so. My
family did things differently, even from an unschooling standpoint, and
social experiences usually have an element of culture shock for both
parties.â
the sense of personal responsibility that came with that freedom.
Question 7 of the survey read, âWhat, for you, were the main advantages
of unschooling? Please answer both in terms of how you felt as a child
growing up and how you feel now, looking back at your experiences. In
your view, how did unschooling help you in your transition toward
adulthood?âÂ
The great majority of the respondents wrote enthusiastically about the
advantages of unschooling. Almost all of them, in various ways,
commented on the freedom that unschooling gave them to find and pursue
their own interests and learn in their own ways. Roughly 70% also said,
in one way or another, that unschooling enabled them to develop as
highly self-motivated, self-directed, responsible individuals, who take
charge of their own lives. A similar percentage wrote about learning
opportunities they had as unschoolers that would not have been available
if they had been in school.
Many also wrote about a seamless transition to adult life. Unschooling
is much more like adult life than school is. In this context, a fair
number also talked about getting a head start on their careers
(discussed in the previous post). They were able to focus and become
expert in ways that would not have been possible had they been in
school.
Some also described how unschooling allowed them to get to know
themselves, discover their own passions, and find out how to make their
personality work in the world. In this context, several wrote explicitly
about learning to value the ways in which they are different from other
people and to overcome any fears of being different, or (if always
unschooled) about growing up without such fears.
Itâs interesting to compare these responses to those that parents
(mostly mothers) in unschooling families gave to a similar question
about the advantages of unschooling that we asked in a previous survey
(here). In that survey, the two most frequent categories of advantages
mentioned were (a) leaning advantages for the child and (b) family
closeness. In that study, 57% of the parents reported that unschooling,
in one way or another, resulted in improved learning for their child or
children; and the same percentage said, in one way or another, that
unschooling allowed family members to spend more time with one another
and live more harmoniously with one another (because of lack of
arguments and tension about following a school schedule or a homeschool
curriculum).
In contrast to the parents in the previous survey, only eighteen (24%)
of the participants in the present survey mentioned increased time,
closeness or harmony with their family as an advantage of unschooling.
This is quite consistent with the view, which I have expressed elsewhere
(e.g. here), that childrenâno matter how much they need and love their
parentsâare in many ways more oriented toward moving on, toward
adulthood, beyond their family of origin. I think that is one reason why
the age-mixed nature of friendships outside of the family was
spontaneously mentioned by so many of the respondents to the present
survey, and also why they focused so heavily on developing their sense
of independence and responsibility. The biological destiny of children,
which parents sometimes forget, is to move beyond their family of
origin; that family is just the starting point in their life course. It
is interesting, in this regard, that a major complaint of the three who
disliked unschooling was that their parents isolated them and prevented
them from exploring outside of the family or outside of the insular
group with which the family was tied.
To provide a taste of the ways our respondents described the advantages
of unchooling, here are two of the responses to Question 7, somewhat
randomly chosen:
⢠A 37-year-old woman who left school after first grade wrote: âThe
advantages of unschooling for me growing up I felt were (in priority
order): 1) being able to sleep when and as long as I needed, 2) having
time to do all the things I wanted to do (reading books, building tree
forts, knitting, making up plays, riding my bike, playing games,
exploring trails in the woods, swimming, baking, making things etc.
etc.), 3) being able to work and make money without school hours getting
in the way. Looking back now, I feel all those same things were
definitely advantages, more than I knew at the time even! Though also I
feel unschooling nurtured my one true talent--completing things. I get
stuff done. Unschooling ensured my ability to "think outside the box" as
they say, and leaves me now with the ability to make a plan and do it,
relishing in negotiating any obstacle and loving having the power to
make good things happen. How did unschooling help me in my transition to
adulthood? Well, in many ways I started as an adult, responsible for my
own thinking and doing, so there was no sudden transition at all.â
⢠A 28-year-old woman with no schooling but some curriculum-based
homeschooling before unschooling wrote: âAs a kid, I felt happy to have
so much time out of my day to play and have fun. I could spend more time
doing the fun stuff rather than being forced into things I didnât enjoy.
As an adult now, I feel Iâve had the time to explore my own interests
and not have activities, knowledge and ideas forced on me, so instead I
grew to enjoy them. For example, Iâve independently read a lot of
classic books since I was young, which I donât think I would have wanted
to do if they had been forced on me. âŚ. Iâve been able to take ideas out
of classics that havenât been explained to me (with bias) in some class.
In terms of transitioning to adulthood, Iâve learned to be direct and
independent. I never had gender roles forced on me, and donât have a lot
of the insecurities and limitations that other girls my age have.
Because of my knowledge of computer programming, and nerdy interests
like Star Trek, Iâm very logical and direct. Iâm unafraid to say what I
mean (although Iâve learned more tact over the years), and Iâm fiercely
independent. I donât believe that weâre as limited in life as we
think.âÂ
dealing with othersâ opinions about it.
Question 8 of the survey read, âWhat, for you, were the main
disadvantages of unschooling? Again, please answer both in terms of how
you felt as a child growing up and how you feel now. In your view, did
unschooling hinder you at all in your transition toward adulthood?â
Twenty-eight of the 75 respondents didnât indicate any disadvantage at
all, and most of the rest made it clear that, to them, the disadvantages
were minor compared to the advantages.
By our coding, the most frequent category of disadvantage was dealing
with other peopleâs opinionsâmentioned by 21 (28%) of the participants.
Itâs interesting to note that this was also the most frequently
mentioned disadvantage in our previous study of unschooling parents,
where it was mentioned by 46% of the respondents (see here). Dealing
with othersâ opinions seemed to be more distressing to the parents, in
the previous study, than to the unschooled children, in the present
study. This seems not surprising, as criticisms and doubts would more
often be directed toward parents than toward children, and parents feel
responsible for the unschooling decision. A typical comment in this
category, in the present study, is the following: âAs a kid, I found it
endlessly annoying that I had to constantly explain my familyâs choice
to unschool. It wasnât the norm, which was equally exciting and
inconvenientâ
The next most common disadvantage, mentioned by sixteen (21%) of the
participants, was some degree of social isolation, which came most
commonly from the lack of other unschoolers nearby and difficulties of
socializing with school children because of their busy schedules and
different orientation toward life. For example one wrote: âThe main
disadvantage of unschooling for me was that I wasnât in close proximity
to other unschoolers after the age of 13âŚ.My closest friends during my
teen years...were people I met through NBTSC [Not Back to School Camp]
and lived far away.â Also included in this category were two or three
who complained about lack of dating opportunities.
Only eight (11%) mentioned any sort of learning deficit as a
disadvantage. Only three of these described this as a major
disadvantage, and those were the three (described below) who were most
negative about their unschooling experience. The other five generally
indicated that the learning deficit was a minor problem, solved by
making up the deficit when they needed to. The most frequently mentioned
subject in which they felt deficient, not surprisingly, was math. (As a
college professor who taught statistics to social science majors for a
number of years, I can attest that many, many people who studied math
for 12 years prior to starting college also complain about, and
demonstrate, a deficiency in that subject!)
experience and complained of negligent parenting.
Of the 75 respondents, only three indicated that the disadvantages, for
them, outweighed the advantages. It is instructive to look closely at
them, to understand the conditions in which unschooling is not a good
idea. In all three cases the mothers were described as in poor mental
health and the fathers as uninvolved. In all three cases, the
respondents felt socially isolated, ignorant, stigmatized, and âweirdâ
because of their unschooling and their family environment. Two of these
respondents attributed the isolation partly to the fundamentalist
Christian beliefs of their parents. Here is a brief summary of each
case.
One respondent, a 26-year-old woman who grew up in the UK, wrote: âI
actively disagree with unschooling because I believe that it is a very
easy way for unwell parents to bring their children up without those
parents needing to actively participate/integrate into societyâŚ. Because
of my mother's poor mental health she found it difficult making friends
and generally disliked attending social events, etc. I think this was
the main reason she decided to unschool us.â This person went on to say
that she felt incredibly isolated socially and didnât study anything
during her unschooling years. She went on to higher education in fine
arts, and a job as an art teacher, not because she was interested in art
or enjoys teaching, but because she didnât feel qualified for anything
else. In response to our question about the disadvantages of
unschooling, for her, she wrote: âMy experience of unschooling was
negative in every way. I have been bullied as an adult for being 'weird'
and for working in low status, low paid jobs. I have also had difficulty
finding long-term boyfriends, as although I'm an attractive and
intelligent person, there aren't many people who actively want to date
people who have huge chips on their shoulders about the way they were
brought up (without formal education).â
The second respondent, a 35-year-old woman, was Christian homeschooled
through third grade and then was unschooled, not because of a deliberate
decision, but because of her motherâs psychological and physical
disabilities and consequent inability to manage homeschooling. This
person also wrote that her mother kept her out of school âto be able to
control the kinds of information we were exposed to, including sex
education, science, or health, as well as control the kinds of people we
interacted with.â She, like the other two, was never presented with a
choice about her schooling. She felt deprived of school, not privileged
to avoid it. As an adult she has worked mostly at temporary jobs such as
cleaning or house painting, but, at the time of the survey, was enrolled
in a bachelorâs program in industrial design. In response to our
question about the disadvantages of unschooling, she wrote:
âDisadvantages would be not having the groundwork of basic knowledge and
social skills! I am also uncomfortable with most people and prefer to be
alone, which may be from my experience growing up alone and
unsupervised, but also might just be my nature, I don't know. As a kid
the main thing was knowing that I was not fitting in anywhere, always
being the "weirdos" in the neighborhood, always missing rites of passage
and being alone too often. It was a very lonely and isolated life,
rather oppressive given the strict religious upbringing. I also feel now
that I learned more about religion than I did things that would be of
any use to me later in life.â
The third respondent, a 29-year-old Ph.D. candidate studying
archaeology, wrote that her mother wanted her to have a Christian
education, but pulled her out of a Baptist academy in fourth grade
because of the motherâs conflicts with the staff. The mother intended to
homeschool her, using a Christian curriculum, but failed to follow
through because of her own psychological depression. In this
respondentâs words, âHer personal struggles with depression, which led
to her inability to function in running a house and supervising my
homeschooling activities, was the reason for the switch to unschooling.â
She wrote further: âIn my opinion, I was âunschooledâ simply because my
mother could not tolerate the anxiety of having me in public or private
school -- where other non-Christian people could ânegatively influenceâ
me. She needed me at home to do chores and take care of her, because she
was a non-functional depressed person. She preferred me to have a
socially isolated existence from age 9 to 18 than risk a secular
education. My father clearly did not want me homeschooled or unschooled,
but he never did anything about it and let my mother do as she pleased.â
Concerning her social life, she wrote: âMy âsocialâ experiences as an
unschooler were restricted to interactions with my parents, my brother,
occasionally more distant family members, and going to the grocery store
or doctor when I was sick.â
This person was not entirely negative about her unschooling. In response
to our question about advantages, she wrote: âAs an adult looking back,
I think being in school while dealing with my dysfunctional and abusive
parents at home probably would have led me to make some poor social
decisions that could have had long-lasting impacts. So, as painful and
traumatic as being kept at home in an isolated manner was, I feel it was
preferable to the other options. I had a lot of time to myself to think
about things. I developed my own secret meditation practice. These
habits of self-sufficiency and self-reflectiveness helped me transition
toward adulthood, particularly in cutting loose from my mother's
controlling grasp.â She also wrote, in response to an earlier question,
âI was also a self-driven learner as an unschooler, and much of my
employment now requires self-driven educationâwhether for my
dissertation research or for the development of my teaching pedagogy.â
In response to our question about disadvantages of unschooling, she
wrote, in part: âAs an adult looking back, the main disadvantage was
that the social isolation allowed my parents to get away with more abuse
and neglect than they otherwise would have. I suffered severe abuse and
neglect during the time I was unschooled. Lacking a formal education did
chip away at my self-confidence as I transitioned toward adulthood. I
carried a nagging sense of unworthiness for quite a while; I still feel
permanently damaged in some way, like I am a freak who was kept in a
cage and not educated formally. As I prepared to begin formal college
education, my unschooling experience hindered me by having failed to
provide standard levels of math and science knowledge. I had to tutor
myself to pass the GED. I had to tutor myself remedial math and science
skills to keep up in introductory-level college courses.â
It is worth adding that the only other respondent, in the whole sample,
who commented on the role of religion in her upbringing was also very
negative about the fundamentalist influence. Her parents became extreme
Christian fundamentalists when she was 15. She wrote, âAt that time, my
role shifted to full-time caretaker for my younger siblings. I was
expected to get married and have lots of children rather than having any
type of career, so further education was viewed as superfluous in that
subculture. ⌠After my parents became involved with the fundamentalists,
we were cut off almost completely from interaction with others outside
the tight-knit religious setting. Interactions were mostly centered
around child-care, chores and religious meetings with no free time to
simply socialize.â This person, nevertheless, went on to become a very
successful writer and noted that she will unschool her own daughter. She
is not against unschooling, but strongly against the social and
intellectual isolation that occurred in her home when her parents
converted.
Although the sample is relatively small, the findings of our survey
suggest that unschooling can work beautifully if the whole family,
including the children, buy into it, if the parents are psychologically
healthy and happy, and if the parents are socially connected to the
broader world and facilitate their childrenâs involvement with that
world. It can even work well when some of these criteria are not fully
met. Children growing up unschooled in such environments take control of
their own lives and have the support of their families to find and
follow their own paths to happiness. But when the dominant parent is
truly dysfunctional, or when the family practices a philosophy of
isolation from the broader culture rather than integration with it, or
when the unschooled child would prefer to go to school, then unschooling
can lead to resentment and, quite justifiably, to feelings of abuse and
neglect.
Finally, TO THE PARTICIPANTS IN THE SURVEY, Gina and I say, THANK YOU!
This was a lengthy questionnaire to fill out, and many of you wrote long
and beautiful essays in response to each question. We have learned much
as a result of your willingness to share your experiences.
[1] Note added March 2, 2012. In the earlier version of this post I used
the labels "radical unschooling," "moderate unschooling," and "relaxed
homeschooling" for the three categories of ways that the respondents
described their unschooling practices. However, several readers pointed
out that these terms--especially the term "radical unschooling"--have
meanings to people in the unschooling community that are different from
the meanings that formed the basis for our categories. Therefore, I
changed the labels to, simply, Categories 1, 2, and 3. -PG