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Title: From Paris to Barcelona
Author: Rirette Maîtrejean
Date: 1959
Language: en
Topics: Paris, Barcelona, love, prison, Victor Serge
Source: Retrieved on 10th September 2021 from https://forgottenanarchism.wordpress.com/2015/03/23/from-paris-to-barcelona-rirette-maitrejean/
Notes: Published in TĂ©moins.

Rirette Maîtrejean

From Paris to Barcelona

He had arrived one day from Brussels, where he was our correspondent for

the small anarchist newspaper I was taking care of since Libertad’s

death. He was only 20. He was handsome as a god: a face of a very pure

oval, a high forehead, a straight nose with quivering nostrils, a thin

and sensitive mouth, with a slightly distant smile; on all of this, an

expression of great detachment, continuously contradicted by a constant

need to work, to discuss, to write.

Almost straight away we made a habit of meeting almost every day, in

libraries, along the embankments he loved, at the Luxemburg near the

pond of the MĂ©dicis Fountain, or at my place, in my small home rue de la

Seine. In the warm season, we often took the bateau-mouche to

Saint-Cloud, a few books or translation and correction work under our

arms.

Then, one grey autumn day, as we were reading and commenting François

Villon together, in my silent home, love came… from this moment on my

life was completely transfigured.

We were both full of enthusiasm, and we worked with much bravery to

animate the small newspaper which was in our care: he at the redaction,

and I mainly at administration, and even at housework tasks which often

presented formidable difficulties.

Several months passed by in this manner, quite peacefully. Then came the

awful torment that was to be called the case of the “tragic bandits”, in

which we were both taken away, each in a different prison. Even the

dangers of the formidable accusation seemed less terrible, less hard to

face than being apart. But he was n exceptionally serene soul, and,

during the five long years of his imprisonment, he never complained even

once. He needed paper, quills, books, many books. He knew I was very

poor, but it was as if he had no material needs at all. He never asked

for anything.

The last day of the trial – when I was freed – he wrote me, as soon as

he was back in prison: “Do not worry for me, my sweet friend, I will

stand all of this very well. I am so happy that you are out of this. It

will soon be springtime. Enjoy Paris, enjoy life. Keep me only your

tenderness and I will be happy.”

At the Melun central prison, where he was transferred, he was soon

admitted in the printing workshop, where he learnt typography. We were

in the middle of the great war, the prisoners’ food was dreadful, and

three times he had to be moved to the infirmary where they were treated

slightly better. He made the best of this forced leisure to learn

German, Spanish and Esperanto. He worked ceaselessly, studying, reading,

translating, writing. From the Santé prison and the Melun central

prison, I received 528 letters, every single one numbered for control,

every one more tender, more affectionate and braver than the other.

As soon as he arrived in Melun, the question of our relationship was

raised. We were not married, and from the moment he had been convicted,

we were no longer allowed to write to each other, and I was not allowed

to visit him. We decided to marry, but we needed the authorisation from

the Home Office for this. When it finally reached us, and when the

marriage was announced, I went to Melun. The ceremony took place with

his two witnesses – prison wardens – and mine -some journalist friends.

Then, we were left alone in a small council office, for about an hour.

It had been around two years since we had last been close to one

another. And our emotion was so great we could hardly speak. Hands

joined, eyes blurry with tenderness, we uttered a few meaningless

sentences, while our hearts were so full of each other.

Alas! After the five years, we did not find each other again: he was

deported, as a foreigner, and he chose the Spanish border. In Barcelona,

where I joined him, I could not find the means to support my two

children, and I had to leave for Paris. At that time, I found him still

resigned ad brave as per usual. He had been hired as a typographer and

had joined the – revolutionary – union where he immediately took part in

the already great agitation among Spanish militants.

When the Russian revolution broke out, he couldn’t resist: he felt like

he had to go there, be on the ground, take part, give of himself. He

came back to France thanks to some consulate indulgence, and I had to

help him struggle to find a way to leave. We only managed to have him

put in a concentration camp, where he spent another two years. After

that, he managed to be part of a transport of hostages leaving for

Russia.

The life he led there, he told in his Memories of a Revolutionary.

Everyone has been able to follow him through his work, which I deem of

such great importance, but of which it is not my place to write. But all

along this incredible journey, we never left each other, morally

speaking. I have his letters from everywhere – Russia, germany, Austria,

Silesia, and, finally, Mexico. I followed him thus through his travels

and adventures, with the same tenderness, the same inalterable

friendship. I had at some point planned also to leave for Mexico, tired

of this abominable life under the occupation. He encouraged me ad

promised to help me to land on my feet over there. Circumstances did not

allow it, but we both delighted in the idea.

It was at lunchtime that I learnt, on the radio, the news of his sudden

death, by a heart attack. And I can easily say that it was one of the

greatest sorrows in my life.