💾 Archived View for midnight.pub › posts › 110 captured on 2023-01-29 at 04:57:04. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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~oracle wrote...
You'd think that cutting contact would help, and it does, but not in the ways you're imagining. What happens after you cut contact isn't a montage of riding a motorcycle down a desert highway while The Stones play in the background.
Thanks, but I know better than to romanticize things like that. I don't expect closure or vindication. Surely the world has more pressing concerns than my taste for melodrama.
It's grief, not for what you had, but for what should have been. It's sitting with all of those moments in which your parents failed you and grieving for the child you were while also offering your current self what that child never had.
That sounds like what I'm already dealing with, but without the closure of having demolished my bridges behind me. It's not like the explosives aren't already rigged. The only thing stopping me from triggering the detonation is the knowledge that I'd be making *his* struggle harder. Reason tells me that I should not allow this to matter to me, that as my mother's enabler she can still hurt me through him and that I should cut all ties with them both for my own safety, but at the same time it's hard to blame him.
As far as he's concerned, his wife can do no wrong and he won't hear any ill spoken of her. If the entire world stood against her, he'd still stand beside her. I'm little different where my wife is concerned.