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I think it's safe to say that I'm a scientific worker, at least that's what I'm trying to convince myself, everyday. I am in the sprint period of my master program, having to publish a research paper, and that's so discouraging.
Before embrace the academic career, my impression of science is so different, maybe I got it from too much false depiction on mainstream media. But the academic program really crush my self-esteem, turn me into a complete different person with trait of borderline disorders, and thought of death was more frequent.
I'm sure what to blame here, unreal goal, the mass media, or lack of experience. I can spend a whole year writing about what my mentality have been through, but this gemlog is so limited for that thing, so let's get directly to the point. I have realize something these days, and hopefully this is the final blow to free me from this suffocation.