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Title: The Marriage Controversy
Author: Freedom Press (London)
Date: October, 1888
Language: en
Source: Freedom: A Journal of Anarchist Socialism, Vol. 3, No. 25, online source http://www.revoltlib.com/?id=3045, retrieved on April 12, 2020.

Freedom Press (London)

The Marriage Controversy

Most of the letters on marriage in the Daily Telegraph have been well

worthy of the silly season; none of them have thrown fresh light on the

most difficult of Social problems. And what else could be expected when

the editor boasts that he has excluded every correspondent who might

perchance "bring a blush to the cheek of the Young Person" by any ill

advised attempt to go to the root of the matter, socially, economically,

physiologically or psychologically? Nevertheless, in spite of all the

platitudes of all the prudes, the controversy as a whole is highly

significant.

It would have been of some importance if only from the fact that the

question "Is marriage a failure?" has stared at every passer by from the

notice board of every news-agent in the country, day after day and week

after week. The continual spectacle of that heading in big type can

hardly have failed to set many vaguely discontented people thinking as

they never ventured to think before; to lead them to question what

before never occurred to them as seriously questionable.

If our existing marriage system were generally suited to our present

desires and needs, such questioning would be a comparatively small

matter. But the inquiry claims special notice as a passing indication of

a wide-spread social movement. It is but a feather on the stream, but it

shows how the current runs. Twenty years ago would any editor of a

respectable middle-class newspaper have dared to raise a question about

marriage? Would it have been a paying speculation to admit even the

faintest murmurs of discontent with the modem family system? For as one

of the "Pillars of Society" says in Ibsen's play, "The family is the

kernel of Society." If the kernel may even be suspected of being

unsound, what of the whole nut?

The connection of the Daily Telegraph correspondence with one of the

least generally recognized and most important movements in the world of

advanced thought is in itself curious and interesting.

Since Darwin drew attention to the great part played by sexual selection

in the evolution of animal life, a small number of thinkers have been

impressed by the deep interest attaching to the various forms of sex

relation that have existed, and are existing, among human beings.

Writers like Morgan and Maclaren (not to mention foreign authors, whose

books are not yet generally known in England) have brought together much

information on this subject, and it has begun to be recognized that the

history of sex relations is a study of fundamental importance; for

without it no clear understanding is possible either of the growth of

society in the past or of the social problem with which we are

confronted to-day.

This year Mr. Karl Pearson, Professor of Mathematics at University

College, London, has published a valuable contribution to the new branch

of inquiry in the three concluding essays of his book "The Ethic of Free

Thought." These essays profess to be nothing but outlined suggestions of

the nature of the problems to be considered and the method by which they

may be solved. They sketch out in broad lines the subject matter of the

coming science of sexology. Even as sketches their author claim for them

no sort of completeness. They are intended to suggest lines of thought

for others and to draw attention to the vast social significance of the

questions involved, rather than to set forth any special conclusions.

Mr. Pearson has not yet arranged for publication the facts from which he

has drawn the few generalizations be permits himself, and be is too

profoundly imbued with the scientific spirit to ask his readers to

accept on faith even a working hypothesis. But his ideas are luminous

with thought-provoking originality, and the pure and noble spirit in

which he handles questions too long obscured and degraded by morbid

sentiment is in itself an enormous contribution towards their right

understanding. It is like a current of fresh air, a gleam of sunshine,

in a close, dark room.

The first essay, on "The Woman's Question," passes in rapid survey the

complex problem raised by the growing movement towards female

emancipation Do we at all realize the meaning of the social revolution

which must ensue if women succeed in making good their claim to

equality? The second is "A Sketch of the relations of sex in Germany",

showing how fundamentally changes in the form of sex relationship have

modified social life; with some suggestion as to the causes from which

these changes may have sprung. The third essay is on "Socialism and

Sex."

The historical school of economists in Germany, and with them Karl Marx,

have dwelt very strongly upon the fundamental importance of economic

development in the history of society.The way in which wealth has been

produced and distributed in any nation is the great root fact, and from

that all those social institutions and movements, with which historians

have too long been exclusively occupied, have sprung. Laws and

governments, class struggles and foreign wars, the deeds of kings and

legislators, all originate in the economic condition of the race; all

take their significance from the economic relations between men and from

the form in which they hold property.

Mr. Pearson contends that sex relations have played as fundamental a

part as economic relations in social evolution. To each form of the

ownership of wealth has corresponded a particular form of sex relation,

and the latter has by no means always been the result of the former.

Sometimes a change in sex relation has been the cause which would appear

to have revolutionized economic conditions. Each has acted and reacted

upon the other. The two together lie at the foundation of social life.

On their variation depends the growth of society. And they have

continually varied. It is sheer blindness to fail to perceive that the

great economic changes, which all intelligent men are beginning to

recognize as inevitable today, will be accompanied by equally wide

changes in sex relationship.

We Communist-Anarchists disagree with Mr. Pearson's State Socialism; we

disagree with the moral basis on which he builds it; but his rough

outline of the probable future of sex relationship is radiant with the

belief in Man which is the key-note of Anarchism,

He holds that the entire absence of the organized interference of the

community in the personal relation of men and women will be the natural

accompaniment of Socialism, and that complete freedom of intercourse,

common education, and economic equality between the sexes will do what

marriage laws and social restraints have failed to accomplish in

destroying the mental depravity and heartless license which disgrace

modem social life.*

In the July number of the Westminster Review Mrs. Mona Caird, a young

novelist, has summarized a portion of Mr. Pearson's essays, in an

article entitled "Marriage," though without acknowledging by more than a

passing allusion the source from which her material has been obtained.

Without the reservation and qualification with which Mr. Pearson has put

forth his views, and without Socialism, Mrs. Caird's article appears

somewhat strained and vague, but it is written in popular language, it

is the utterance of a woman's cry of revolt, and it has done what Mr.

Pearson's essays have not done, arrested public attention. The outcry in

the daily papers has been the result.

After all, the thinkers are only engaged in consciously seeking,

investigating and formulating what Society as a whole is dimly and

unconsciously yearning and striving after. Where darkness is pain, these

are they who go forth to search for light.

Just now the pain is very real. From year to year it grows more acute,

as the new life bruises itself in the darkness against the outworn forms

that crush it back.

For many ages an individualizing process has been going on among us. A

tendency has developed in the single human being to separate himself in

his own consciousness, and consequently in his attitude and conduct,

from his fellows; to look on himself not merely as a part of a group of

kinsmen, or a patriarchical family, or a tribe, but as a distinct unit

in the society to which he belonged, to count himself as one, and not

merely a fraction. Gradually men have begun to recognize that each is,

for himself, the center of all things; and as the conscious recognition

of this fact has grown, the claims of the individual have grown with it.

After a fight of many ages he has won freedom of opinion; now he is

claiming freedom of action, the acknowledged responsibility of

self-guidance. But, it may be objected, is such a self-centered

individual still a social being, does not his claim to independence

imply antagonism to his fellows? He is still so essentially social that

life except in association is a misery, a mutilation to his nature.

Unless his social instinct is fully gratified, his whole being is

distorted and his existence a weariness, as we see in the case of the

unsocial monopolists of power and property to-day. But the terms of the

association must be enlarged for the free individual. They must

acknowledge his full individuality. They must be rational, not

arbitrary, or they become an insufferable bondage to be cast off at all

costs.

Reeves. 185 Fleet Street, E.C., price 2d.) and reviewed at length in

Freedom for April 1887. In that review we pointed out our one difference

with the author. We do not believe that the over-population difficulty

will exist in a free communistic community, nor that the interference of

even public opinion will be called for in the matter.

At the present time this process of individualization has advanced to

such a point that every man of ordinary capacity thinks it right that he

should manage his own personal affairs and be responsible for his own

thoughts and conduct. He would consider it shameful that his family, or

his relations, or the circle of families among whom he lives, should

openly guide him and be responsible for him.

Every man, who is worthy to be called a man, thinks this; but not by any

means every woman. Until the present generation, the family, in its

narrowest modern sense (i.e., the father, mother and children under

age), has been the real unit of society. True, the man counted as one

individual among other men; but he was always supposed to represent and

control his wife and children.

Moreover within the narrowed family circle the ancient patriarchical

communism still legally lingered down to the present decade, and the

father possessed the right to administer the wealth of the whole group,

no matter by whose labor it was gained.

The passing of the Married Woman's Property Act in 1883 was the first

signal that the process of individualization had reached women, that the

last composite or artificial social unit was being broken up by the

development of humanity. Reactionary as our legislators are, they were

driven at last to recognize that even a married woman is an individual

human being who has a claim to independent existence, and not

economically a mere appendage to some man, or fraction of a family

group.

Driven, we say, but what drove them? There are two powerful forces at

work in society, between which as between am upper and nether mill-stone

the modern family system is being ground to powder. One is the mad race

for wealth of our competitive industrialism. The other the spread of

knowledge and education. The first is dissolving the family, as an

economic group, and at the same time placing the possibility of economic

independence within the grasp of women; the second is inspiring them

with the desire to claim that independence and the capacity to use it.

Women's labor is cheaper than men's, not so much because they have less

muscular strength or technical skill, as because they have married or

unmarried prostitution as an alternative profession to productive labor;

a providential circumstance of which the capitalist is delighted to

avail himself. Hence modern mechanical invention tends more and more to

create increasing facilities for women to become independent

wage-earners, with smaller wages for men in consequence of female

competition and the destruction of the family among the working class as

a result. With the loss of his exclusive control of the common purse

strings, the authority of the man is at an end so soon as the woman

chooses to dispute it; and the education of a personal struggle with the

world, and even such odds and ends of intellectual training as girls get

now, all dispose our young women to rebellion.

An educated, thoughtful woman, whose mind has been trained to regard

truth rather than custom as the measure of right, refuses as an educated

thoughtful man refuses, to throw the responsibility of her life upon

other people. She insists on guiding her own conduct and living

according to her own nature and not some one else's idea of what that

nature ought to be. She insists that the people with whom she is

associated shall recognize her claim to a free expression of her

individuality as equal to their own. She will not be deluded into an

irrational self-mutilation by high-sounding commonplaces about duty and

self-sacrifice. She will insist on knowing, weighing, deciding for

herself according to her own instincts of self-development.

There are not many such women among us to-day; but there are

ever-increasing numbers of women tending in this direction, as the

spread of education puts the opportunity of mental growth within their

reach.

The tendency to revolt is spreading, but the prospect before the rebels

is dismal in the extreme. Those who have the courage of their opinions

can as things are dispense with the insulting interference of church and

state in their personal relations with their lovers; but what then? From

chattel-slaves they have become wage-slaves. It requires a high courage

to relish the sweets of economic independence when ones energy is

largely absorbed by the cares of motherhood, and the merciless rush of

competition perpetually reduces one's wages below starvation level. Yet

this is the only prospect before the majority of emancipated women as

long as our present economic condition lasts. The dread of it causes

many a victim of marriage to smother her conscience and her suffering

and hug her chains-many a girl who has had dreams of better things to

sell her beauty and her soul because she is terrified by the difficulty

of finding a market for her labor force. Women who are awake to a

consciousness of their human dignity have everything to gain because

they have nothing to lose, by a Social Revolution. It is possible to

conceive a tolerably intelligent man advocating palliative measures and

gradual reform; but a woman who is not a Revolutionist is a fool.