💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › mailfrag.hum captured on 2023-01-29 at 08:29:21.

View Raw

More Information

⬅️ Previous capture (2020-10-31)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-


_______________________________________________________________________________
	_   _							   _   _
       ((___))							  ((___))
       [ x x ]		       cDc communications		  [ x x ]
	\   /			   presents...			   \   /
	(` ')                                                      (` ')
	 (U)							    (U)

				  MAIL FRAUD

				by  L.E. Pirate

		      >>> A CULT Publication......1987 <<<
			-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
			    Black  September Pirates
_______________________________________________________________________________

Mail Fraud.  The best thing since sugar free Jello (right Psyche?).  It is
probably the most illegal thing you can get involved in, even worse than (gulp)
credit card scams.  If you watch the news alot, they nab alot of mafia dudes
and drug guys for mail fraud, so I really do not recognize this as something
you should do, I don't do it, so you know how much trouble you can get in.

In order to do this, you have to card an advertisement in a magazine for a
cruise, like a 6-10 day cruise in the bahamas and 2 days in DisneyWorld.  make
the ad colorful, something that would "jump out" at the person.  I suggest you
advertise in National Inquirer, Weekly World News, or something like that (the
bullshit papers, "I had a UFO Monkey for a baby, etc." those kinds of papers
will carry any ads.  Either get a voice mail system, or a voice line (which is
so stupid since the feds will catch you faster than you can say "jail
sentence").  Make the voice mail system message say something like this.

(PLAY SOME MUSIC, NOT ROCK OR ANYTHING, LIKE CLASSICAL SHIT)

"Hello there, you have reached Star*Dust International Cruise Line
Reservations), at the moment, no one is currently available in the offices at
the moment.  Please leave your name, and voice number where you can be reached,
daytime or home numbers are accepted.  Please leave it at the sound of the
tone.  Thank you, and have a nice day!" BEEP.

Next.  Call them, and say "StarDust International calling" or whatever.  Ask
them if they would like a FREE cruise line listing.  Write down their address.
Before anything, you should call a real place and ask for some cruise line
booklets delivered to YOUR house (YOUR address).  Make an official looking
cruise line sheet to go inside the booklet, rip the ones out that are in there.
Ask shit like drivers license number, 2 forms of identification, visa/mc/amex
card (you know), references, etc.  Tell them to mail it to a P.O.  box (get one
registered under an alias, not your handle dipshit, but like, 'TOM DICKFACE' or
something, if they need I.D.  read the file coming out soon 'PAPER FRAUD' or
'CHANGING YOUR I.D.' it will appear in the first issue of Beyond TAP Magazine
in March, 1988).  and their tickets will be mailed to them.  You might want to
call a place and ACTUALLY get them the tickets, or just forget about it.  If
you send the tickets, they will totally forget about it.  If not, I'm sure a
full investigation will kick in.

Please be careful, and I would not actually try this.  I have no tried it, I do
not plan on trying it.	I take no responsibility for what you do (right there,
I said it).  If you try anything in ANY of my files, you are totally 100
percent liable for everything you do.  I did not make you do anything, and I
assume you are not a tard and can under~rstand that mail fraud is one of the
grandmaster biggies of all time.  So stay cool.

I'd like to thank ME, Swamp Rat, The Blade, Professor Falken, Ice Pic, Brain
Tumor, The Traxster, Dr.  Rom, Grass Lunatic, Bronze Rider, The Disk Jockey,
The Perplexer, Dial Tone, Scourge, Fry Guy, The Snowman, and anyone that I
forgot.  Big FUCK YOU's go out to Dead Lord who thinks Blade won't get his book
sold.  Thanks again.

	Support these K00L Systems...

  Dragonfire Private.....Pr]OPEN SESAME Nu]DEAD..BBS for BTAP..609/424-2606
  Metal AE...............Pr]KILL...............................201/879-6668
  Demon Roach Underground Pr]THRASH	Nu]FEAR................806/794-4362
  Castle Catatonic.......Terminal]NEW	Nu]ROAMER..............806/794-1842