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Toxic Shocke Presents:
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_______|)--<||> 50 Uses for the Household Pussy <||>--(|_______
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A 12/04/89 by Gross Genitalia A
Head-to-Hole Head-to-Hole
Production Toxic Shock File #3 Production
[Centre of Eternity.....40 megs.....3/12/2400 baud............615-552-5747]
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Pussy. Yeah, that nice wet soft female sex object us guys just fuckin flip
out over. But what happens when that nice young female dies? Oh yeah if
you're a fuckin gross-ass necropheliac you can keep her and use that
stone-hard bitch as a fuck doll, but nah. You've loved her cunt for a long
long time, why not keep it? Put that bitch to use. Here I present:
50 uses for the household pussy
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1. So you've got your dead bitch's twat. What can you do with it? Use it
to apply shoe polish to your finest Sunday shoes.
2. When you're horny as hell just remember your sweet, but now deceased,
girlfriend and put her cunt in your hand to masturbate with.
3. Use it as a sponge to wash your car.
4. Use it as a coaster for your drinks.
5. Having guests over for dinner? Top your favorite casserole with it.
6. Use it as a table centerpiece at your annual banquet of America's
most prestigeous businessmen.
7. Hey, it's reusable toilet paper!
8. Give it to your new girlfriend as a makeup brush.
9. Bake it in the oven and use it as steel wool to scour pots and pans.
10. Use it as a speaker grill on your finest 200 watt speaker system.
11. Tie it to a string and let your dog chase it.
12. Hang it on the hood ornament of your car.
13. Tack it to a piece of wood and put it out for a door knocker.
14. Use it for a toupee! HAHAHA!
15. Double your luck at the fuck. Tape in onto your new girlfriend so
now you've got double the pussy!
16. Miss your girlfriend? Tape it between your NEW girlfriend's tits
and bury your face in it. Have some of the old and some of the new, too.
17. Use it for mittens in winter.
18. Fill it with some foam rubber and try your hand at some racquetball.
19. Stretch it out and use it&as a fish net.
20. Or stretch it out and give it to your new girlfriend as a pair of
fish net hose.
21. Wanna be gross? Tape it to your butt crevice. Whack off with one
hand and finger your asshole thru the deceased cunt as if it were
your girlfriend.
22. Mix it in with your alfalfa sprouts.
23. Have too many past girlfriends? Kill them all and take their pussies.
Throw them in a bathtub and jump in. Hell now you're surrounded by all
kinds of cold, sweet, stinky pussy. Ain't it great?
24. Run out of fishing line? String all those black hairs together so
you'll always have some spare line on hand.
25. Throw it in a plastic bag and squeeze it when you get horny.
26. Tape it to your new girlfriend's mouth so not only will you be
throwin your tongue down her throat but you'll have the pleasure of
throwing your tongue thru your OLD girlfriend's pussy.
27. Use it in place of a feather duster.
28. Use it for a small scale mop.
29. Put it in your tuna fish salad to simulate the real taste and
aroma of that pussy.
30. Wear it around your neck like black people wear the Africa
symbols and Cadillac hood ornaments.
31. Hang it on the antenna of your car.
32. Tie it to a string and tie the string to the trailer hitch of
your car and let the bitch fly down the road.
33. After baking it for using as steel wool, wash it and bake it
again to use as a hairbrush.
34. Lose your wallet? This cold stuff cunt will do just fine.
35. Tie it on the end of a rope and swing it out at cars as
they drive down the road.
36. Pull up to the McDonald's drive-thru and tape it to the
speaker thingie where you order your food.
37. Or keep it until you get to the window and then throw it in
and drive off.
38. Go inside McDonald's and tape the pussy to the cash registers.
39. Got the guts? The equipmet? Climb up to a billboard and paint,
in big bold letters, "Free PUSSY!". Tack several pussies to the
billboard then draw and arrow from the text to the pussy.
40. Option for above: Do that and then put at the bottom:
"Just call <Your best friend's telephone number>!!"
41. Pour alcohol on it and use it to clean the heads on your floppy
disk drives.
42. Put soap on it and use it to clean YOUR head! (Not the one on
your shoulders, either!)
43. Put in on a boxing glove and go around punching out all your
worst enemies. Not only do they get a black eye but also the smell
of dead rotting cunt embedded into their system.
44. Go to a doctor's office, open up the damn Reader's Digest,
stick in the cunt then close it. Hang around and watch people
find a cunt when they expected to see "Build Your Word Power".
45. Go in to see the doctor, show him the cunt and say you passed
this thing with your stools this morning.
46. Go to the local Kroger's. Throw a spare dead cunt into the
lobster tank. Bury one somewhere in the produce section.
47. They got a cafeteria? Dump the bitch somewhere in the food line.
48. Go into Big Lots, where all the niggers shop, have your cunt
handy. No not YOURS, I hope you guys don't have both! You know
what I mean. Put the cunt on top of the manager's head then
announce "Yo niggas, whassup? There's some free sweet pussy up
here, come and get it!" See if the manager doesn't get mobbed with
a thousand blacks trying to mob the son of a bitch.
49. Go to the local K-Mart film department, fill out an envelope,
and stuff in the pussy as the "film" to be developed...
50. While at K-Mart, tape the pussy to the big blue light, turn the
bitch on, and announce a fuckin Blue Light Special, Free Cunt for All!
Oh well, I m totally twisted and demented and just fucked out right now,
if I think of more ideas I'll come out with "More Uses for the
Common Household Pussy". Let me know if you have any ideas. Put that
dead stiff cunt to work for you.
12/04/89 by Gross Genitalia.
Centre of Eternity - 40 megs - 12/2400 baud - lots of files - 615-552-5747
The Followers of Fetus are: Bloody Afterbirth, Fetal Juice, Gross Genitalia,
Tasty Abortion and Twisted Testicles.
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