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This account has been fingered 2302 times. (this might take awhile).
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There was this little kid in grade 2 whose name was Johnny.
He went to school with grade 2's. (!) Anyway, every Monday,
after school the teacher would ask the student's in Johnny's
class some trivia questions; if they answered the questions
correctly, the teacher promised them that they wouldn't have
to go to school for the rest of the week.
One Monday, the teacher asked the students:
'What is the chemical symbol for Potassium'
Since the kids were only in gr. 2, they didn't even
know what potassium was. The next Monday, the teacher asked:
'In what year did Mt. St. Helen's first explode?'
Of course, the students didn't answer. Johnny was
getting kind of peeved with these kind of questions. The
next Monday, Johnny brought a pair black squash balls
to school with him. Just as the teacher was about to ask
the weekly question, Johnny rolled the marbles toward the
front of the room. The teacher, not seeing him, got agitated
and said 'Alright, whose the comedian with the 2 black
balls?'
Johnny, just a-laughing answered 'Bill Cosby, See ya
next week!'
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Hungry for revenge? Check this one out!
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THE AVENGER'S HANDBOOK
Edited by The Last Viking, viking95@freenet.hut.fi
Email new schemes, ideas or bug-reports to me.
Revision 1.20, Edited on a Commodore Amiga 2000.
(C) Copyright 1993-95 the alt.revenge society.
--
-- DISCLAIMER NOTICE --
I take no responsibility for actions performed as described in this script.
Some of these schemes are illegal to perform, and most of them will make
your mark suffer in one way or another. I advice you to look at this script
as a source of inspiration and amusement. Yet, if you do consider actions
consider also it's consequences, both for the mark and for you. I advice you
to read the alt.revenge FAQ before you do anything you might regret.
--
-- How to get the latest edition of The Avenger's Handbook --
The easiest way go get TAH is probably by using your finger command:
"finger paalde@stud.cs.uit.no -l". If you are on a UNIX like system, then
you can direct the text to a file by adding "> [filename]" behind the "-l"
in the finger command line. This is where new editions of TAH most likely
will be appear first.
If you want to access TAH on WWW you can use the following URL's.
America:"http://www.umd.umich.edu/~nhughes/htmldocs/av.html" (Nathan Hughes)
Europe: "http://www.cs.uit.no/~paalde/Revenge/TAH.html" (The Last Viking)
I have managed to put up a home page for revenge on the World Wide Web. If
you want to take a look at it, then select the following URL:
"http://www.cs.uit.no/~paalde/Revenge/"
That URL will give you The Avenger's Front Page, where you can find TAH in
postscript and HTML format, and a bunch of other revenge related scripts.
If everything else fails, email me and I will send it to you.
--
-- Editor Notes --
I am still trying to strip out the more pranklike schemes in this list. I
guess that's a process I will be working on aslong as I am keeping it.
I will be off the net from the 1'st of June to 1'st of August. Then in
August I will be able to get back to posting in the newsgroup. Have a great
summer vaccation, all you avengers out there!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
#001 MAIL BURST. By The Last Viking and Dale Worley.
Wait until you get one of those commercial catalogues with hundreds of
rip-out order forms. Write down the name and address of the mark, and then
send it in. Be careful about your handwriting and remember that if the
mark get many things he didn't order, then they will most likely take a look
at the problem.
--
Go to a library with many technical or trade publications. Pull out all the
free reply cards, bingo cards, etc. Now ask for information on everything.
(Well, don't circle more than 10 numbers on each bingo card.) With
remarkably little work, you can collect hundreds of these cards. Fill them
in with their real address and bogus company names. Dump them all in a mail
box.
#002 EMBARRASING SHOPPING. By Jerry F. Tomko and Stephen Smith.
I once visited a music store where all the tapes and CD's had little
electronically detectable stickers on them. So, naturally, I removed the
stickers and placed them sticky side up, on the floor. As people would walk
by, the stickers would attach to their shoes. The clerk had security "pat
down" a few customers before attributing the problem to "faulty equipment."
A nice revenge if a music store is your mark.
--
Your mark is in a supermarket, and he or she's of the type who get easily
embarrased. While they're walking around with their trolley, drop a packet
of condoms into it. But before that, you can scrat the barcode slightly so
that the scanner can`t read it. This one is ofcourse a bit dependent on your
luck.
#003 NOISY SEAGULLS. By The Last Viking.
This is a trick I did once. It was dark outside and I wanted to get some
revenge on our freakin' neighbour who had complained about the music the day
in advance. So, what I did was throwing out a whole bread (which was too dry
to eat anyway).. time went on.. Around 6 o'clock it was light enough outside
for our lovely and not so quiet seagulls to see the bread, and oboy did they
have a party. I were staying up all night anyway, so it didn't bother me. If
the seagulls doesn't make enough noise, try sprinkling the bread in a bit of
alcohol (Just a little bit, you don't want them to hurt themselves.)
#004 DEATH THREATS TERROR. By The Last Viking.
Get a newspaper, cut out some death notices, or articles about persons who
have died (e.g. gotten killed) Send them to the person with a letter
telling how fun it was to kill the person in the article. Try sending him a
list with his name on, like a top 10 list with his name getting higher each
time you send a new one to him, with a death notice.
This is very illegal! Don't get caught!
#005 CONTACT MAGAZINE. By The Last Viking.
Put an ad in a contact magazine, telling that your mark want contact with
other persons for sexual purpose. Tell them that he is S/M, gay or
something. Pay cash for the add or make them send the bill to your mark.
#006 ORDERING PIZZA. By The Last Viking.
Call the local Pizza resturant or whatever and order them to bring out the
food. Give them your mark's address. You can also call the cops and tell
them that you heard shot gun fire at your mark's place or you can be a bit
nicer and call in a report on domestic violence.
Chiver> The Police, and many take-out restaurants are using caller-ID, so it
Chiver> is suggested that you call from a phone-box.
Ed> Ah, Remember that you're involving a 3'rd party here. If the pizza place
Ed> ain't a secondary mark then maybe you should leave'em alone? Also
Ed> remember that you're preventing the cops from doing their work by doing
Ed> this.. eh.. that's enough from your "father".
#007 DISC DRIVE KILLER. By The Last Viking and "The Internet Police Force".
This is an amusing and destructive way of avenging. Just open a disc and
replace the magnetic disc with some sand paper. Put the disc among the discs
of the mark. Then when the mark get the disc, he will put it into the drive
and it will destroy the drive-head.
Straw> This will not work as the hub that the drive uses to spin the disk
Straw> will be missing. A better idea is to hold the window open and glue
Straw> several pieces of sandpaper to the disk surface. Then the disk will
Straw> appear normal unless your mark hold the window open and spins the
Straw> disk by hand.
Ed> You can also glue sand or any gravel to the surface.
--
For diskette bombs, you need: A disk, scissors, white or blue kitchen
matches (they MUST be these colors!) and clear nail polish.
First carefully open up the diskette (3.5" disks are best for this!). Remove
the cotton covering from the inside. Scrape a lot of match powder into a
bowl (use a wooden scraper, metal might spark the match powder). After you
have a lot, spread it evenly on the disk. Using the nail polish, spread it
over the match mixture. Let it dry. Carefully put the diskette back together
and use the nail polish to seal it shut on the inside (where it came apart).
When that disk is in a drive, the drive head attempts to read the disk,
which causes a small fire (Enough heat to melt the disk drive and fuck the
head up!!).
Ed> This sound a bit doubtful, has anyone tried this one out?
#008 FLOWER POWER. By The Last Viking and Brian Martinez.
Get some seeds from some ugly weed and spread it all-over your mark's
garden, or spread some lime into your mark's garden. The grass will then
slowly die. If you're being artistic about it, try writing something
insulting onto the lawn.
--
In high school some friends of mine went up to one teacher's house with a
can of diesel, and wrote the word "BITCH" on her gently upward-sloping front
yard for all the people in her ritzy suburb community to see. Of course,
the diesel killed the grass, and you could see "BITCH" from the road for a
good three months or so.
#009 AUTOMATIC GARAGE DOORS. By Thomas Gauldin and The Last Viking.
One of the tricks that works wonderfully involves houses with garage door
openers. Sears and Chamberlain openers use DIP switches to set the code. The
dips switches are on the back of the door openers and in plain sight.
I once were in this mark's garage to deliver a piece of mail that was left
in my mailbox and noticed the Chamberlain door opener and the DIP switches
on the rear. I noted the settings down and bought a spare transmitter at
Sears for about $12. All I had to do was set the DIP switches to the same
code and then I could operate the door.
The neighbor had very regular habits and left for work at roughly the same
time every day. All I did was wait and watch as the door rolled up. When
the backup lights of their Accura came on, I merely pressed the down button
and the door closed on their trunk lid, broke the rear glass and dented the
roof. The folks stood around for about a half hour scratching their butts
and trying to figure out what happened. The garage door was totaled also.
--
Most garage door openers are controlled by an IR transmitter. So, what you
need to do is go get one of those programmable IR transmitters, those with
the learn function. Now you only need to get a hold of his open or close
signal, which can be a real bitch to do, as the transmitter are usually
located in his car. Yet, now you might know what lock-picking FAQ's are for.
#010 WAKE-UP CALL. By The Last Viking.
This is a simple one, just call the mark in the middle of the night at 5 AM.
If he doesn't know your voice then ask him if he want to buy Encyclopedias,
if he does then just hang up on him, or you could ask him about the
homework. If you wana go anonymous on this one, then call from a box.
Here in Norway we have this number we can call and order a wakeup call. I
last time used it at the last place I worked. I called and asked to get a
wakeup call at 3 AM (which suits well because we were at "resting guard"
between 12.00 and 06.00)
#011 LATE LAWNMOVING. By The Last Viking.
If your mark has a lawn-mover standing in his garden you can sneak in at
night and start it. The noise will probably wake him, and he'll wonder what
the hell happened.
#012 PC REVENGE. By George 'Pinhead' Curtis and The Last Viking.
When the mark is away; startup fdisk on his hard-disc, now select 3, for
delete DOS partion. Now deleve every partion. The computer will ask you to
press CTRL-ALT-DEL, but just press CTRL-C. In awhile the computer will crash
and be totally fucked. All datas will be erased.
When your mark is gone, start up a loud noisy game on his computer. This can
be done in the lunch break when nobody is around, now everyone returns and
sees the screen of eg. your boss, and it has a game on it.
Make a directory like ALT+255 (the extended Alt keyboard char. set) this
will make a blank space. Now do an XCOPY C:\ C:\"ALT+255"/s/e. this will
fill up his hard drive so he won't be able to save anything.
This is good as long as the asshole doesn't know much about DOS or doesn't
use anything like Norton.
--
Find a gif/jpg viewer and a picture of a nude woman (or if you're going for
the grotesque, a nude woman and her horse) you'll find it all on the
internet. When everyone is gone for lunch, start it up on his PC. Sure
that'll improve his repuation.
Alter his autoexec.bat file, put a game in the first line of it. Everytime
he boot the machine it will pop up on his screen. Add as the last line of
his autoexec.bat "echo Israel5 virus activated." then when you've saved the
autoexec.bat file, make it read and execute only. (Don't ask me how to do
it, I am an Amiga freak.. try attrib or something)
Remove the powercables and put them into his drawer. What him running around
accusing everyone for stealing them. Another similar thing you could do is
just removing every cable, and let them lay there on his desk. Then adjust
the colour, contrast and saturation on his monitor. This will annoy anyone
in a suit.
#013 SMOKERS. By The Last Viking and Tom Line.
Carve off small pieces of rubber from an erasor. Remove some of the tobacco
from a sigarette. Put the rubber in as a substitute, then make it look real
by adding some tobacco on the tip. Rumours has it that it tastes awful.
--
For sloppy smokers who leave cigarette butts and ashes lying about, assist
their "beautification program" and import even more cigarette butts and
plant them places where they'll get the blame for them.
Epoxy cigarettes to the person's car, particularly on the windshield, side
windows, over the door locks, etc. Dump some in the air vents. If they don't
have a locking gas cap, dump some in their gas tank.
Hide or throw away the ashtrays.
Piss in their ashtray(s), then leave an anonymous note later "confessing" to
this. If the note's believable, the psychological effect should be
interesting. In fact, actually pissing in the ashtrays might not even be
necessary, if you can make them think you did it. Since a cigarette is a
phallic symbol, psychologically speaking, why not add some realism?
Decoupage (with epoxy, so they can't be easily removed) some "cute" messages
in the bottoms of ashtrays, such as: Smoking sucks, Suck that FAG off,
Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray, Smokers are buttheads, It's the
cigarette that SMOKES, the smoker just SUCKS or Wouldn't you really rather
be sucking on a COCK? (A picture of a PENIS from a homo porn magazine might
be interesting, too.)
From that same magazine you used above, after you cut out the picture of the
penis from the naked faggot, replace the penis in the picture with an actual
cigarette butt and post the picture on the person's cubicle or office door.
This works best if they get in late and you post it early. That way others
will have a chance to see it before the mark can remove it. Even if nobody
else sees it, the mark will WORRY about who saw it, and what they may have
thought about it!
Intercept a memo from the person, hopefully to a bigwig in your company,
open the mail pouch, add a cigarette butt or two, reseal it, and send it on
its way! The same goes for outgoing mail to important customers, etc.
Answer their phone for them whenever they're away from their desk and inform
the caller that they're on a "smoke break". If possible, change their voice
mail message to say this, too! Then if you disconnect the ringer, people
will think they spend their whole day in the smoking area rather than
working (as some do, of course) and complain to management about them.
--
How about a cup of black powder or gun powder in their ash tray?
#014 NASTY SMELLS. By The Last Viking, Art, Steve Lopez and A.J. Reiffenstein.
I did this one when I was graduating from high-school. I and a friend of me
went over to this other high-school in the vicinity and brought with us some
real bad smelling marten-bait. There was a kind of war between us and them
and now we'd just had it. We opened the door and crushed the tube of marten
bait into the classroom sink. Then we left in a hurry (We got a day
expulsion from the school, due to our little stunt :)
You can spill this crap almost every where, use your imagination.
--
Fox Urin. It smells pretty bad from what I hear. Why don't you just take a
bottle of the stuff and "spill" (totally by accident of course) some between
the top of the mark's car window and the door. Like I said, it was just an
"accident". Maybe you could do this right before the mark is due to go on a
date or to an important business meeting?
--
This also works rather well with skunk scent, readily obtained at your local
sporting goods/hunting outfitter (they use it to hunt coyotes) It comes in
about a 2oz. bottle which is quite sufficient to put into a syringe and
inject through the window rubber. Be sure and get some down the defroster
vents, as you can replace carpet and upholstery, but the smell never comes
out of the vent system.
--
Buy some kind of hollow vegetable (bell or jalepeno work well), seal them in
a plastic bag and forget about them for a while, once they have turned slimy
and mouldy, transfer them to a quart mason jar. Toss in some eggs, milk and
chopped liver until it is about 80% full. Put it in a warm dark place. About
every week, give it a shake. After 4-5 weeks, it will be mostly liquid, and
will look vile. Don't open the jar to smell it. Trust me; it smells much
worse than it looks. Toss the entire thing so it breaks open on your
neighbor's porch steps. If you are really adventuresome, climb onto his roof
and pour it down the chiminy.
#015 SHAVING FOAM. By Chris Cantarine.
Fill up a bag of shaving foam. Put the open end-part-way under someone's
door (make sure the bag is open). Jump on the closed end of the bag. Also,
put a dustpan under his door. Piss (or pour a jar of something) in it.
#016 REVENGE ON A RASISTIC LANDLORD. By Pancho, DanD and Steven C. Schultz.
Complain to the KKK or Aryan nation about the landlords. They're renting to
all these goddamned (epithet)s in my neighborhood. Or you heard them talking
about how Klansmen should be killed on sight. Be sure to give the home
address and license plate numbers of their cars.
Call all the utility companies, and have their bills diverted to "your"
house. They're going on a long vacation and you want to pay their bills
while they're gone. "Your" address is that of the Lost And Found at the
Macy's in the next town.
Sign them up with NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association. This
is sure to bring attention from the cops to the landlord if NAMBLA is ever
raided by the cops in your town.
Call up the militant black groups of your choice. Tell them you're thinking
of joining. Invite some members to come over to talk to you. Give them the
landlord's address.
Make copies of the keys to their property which your friends rented, attach
them to labelled key rings. Write "DOCTOR Susanna Wong, Geriartrics" on the
labels, with the home address. Go to the worst part of town and "forget" the
key rings at the phone booths where gang members gather.
Put linseed oil in a closed bottle by the window to rot. *Extremely* nasty.
Splash their cars and homes with it.
Call popular radio station talk shows. Start friendly, give out the
landlord's name while no-one suspects anything. Repeat it a couple of times.
Get the address in, if you can. Then accuse them of whatever you like. Slip
it in slowly, so that the accusation's out before they can think to use
their 7-second delay. You could accuse them of membership in NAMBLA. Lo and
behold, their name turns up in NAMBLA's records.
Write all their current tenants at all their properties, and even the
neighbors surrounding those properties. "Did you know that the sick
perverted landlord at this address has a porno flick business on the side?
Did you know he sets aside one of the apartments (or houses) for the filming
of these pictures? Do you want your kids exposed to these people in your
neighborhood? NO FINGERPRINTS OR SALIVA ON YOUR LETTERS OR ENVELOPES, NOW!
Make up a letter or a poster accusing these landlords of being the most
active, violent, and effective Klansmen in your town. Print up a zillion of
these. Go to a predominantly black area of town and dump these flyers over
the fence of the local High School. You can *also* dump them at the
projects. Include their home address, phone number, car description and
license plates.
If the police investigate, the Junior High School crime and the fact that
his name is on the poster will be public record. He will be interrogated.
It will not be slander to talk about it.
Make a tape of Vincent Price's laughter at the end of the Michael Jackson
song "Thriller". Tape it over and over so it's one minute of laughter.
After *each* of these incidents, call them up and play it. Real loud.
--
Even better: send notices to all the tenants that rent is going up. (or
down.) Make policy changes. Send some tenants notices they will be sued
if they don't pay their rent which is past due. (Nothing like threatening
people with legal action for something they did not do to get their blood
boiling.) Have a couple of cars towed, claiming to be the property manager.
(Most property managers who have cars towed post the phone number of
whatever towing service they use, so it's no problem.)
You get the idea. Terrorize the tenants and make them think that it's the
landlord who is doing it. They will react in all SORTS of ways. Legal,
physical, verbal, etc.
--
You could place the add and give different rents, depending on the race of
the renter. A newspaper probably wouldn't print any add that is racially
oriented like this, so print up flyers and put them in stores, car
windshileds, etc.
Or you could place an add saying that the place has things that it doesn't,
such as swimming pool, glass porch in back, washing machine/dryer,
dishwasher, etc. Potential renter comes out and sees it doesn't have any of
this and he will be pissed.
#017 FUN WITH THE TELEPHONE. By Davis Sweeney, Robert Bissett and Mark Loop.
Here's an old standard that provided hours of enjoyment at my last job: when
the coworker (mark) of your choice goes for his/her tenth cup of coffee,
pick up his/her phone and tape down the little button that the receiver sits
on. (Pardon the technical jargon.) When your sucker gets back with the
coffee and yet another doughnut, give 'em a call. When they pick up the
phone, they won't hear anything and the phone will still ring. You'd be
amazed at how well this works.
--
A lot simpler way to accomplish the same thing is with a small piece of
clear (Scotch) tape. Place it neatly over the holes on the receiver. It will
totally block out all audible sound and, if done nicely, is not normally
detected by the dupe.
--
Open up the receiver end and disconnect the wires to the speaker (it's
rather simple to do). Then the mark will keep thinking that someone is
prank-calling him. After a few times, maybe he'll even start yelling at
innocent people who call, maybe his boss?
#018 FUN WITH THE MOUSE. By John Owens.
One prank that worked well at Sun was some clown who put a little yellow
Post-It(TM) pad sheets on the bottom of everyone's mice. Sun mice have the
laser firing out the bottom onto the mouse pad, so anyone who moved their
mouse saw no action on the screen. An entire building was affected that
April Fool's Day, I believe.
Ed> Or maybe just remove the ball if it has one.
#019 FASTFOOD WORKER. By Deacon.
Ed> The mark is a woman, working at a fastfood resturant. Another thing,
Ed> don't be rude to innocent workers at fastfood joints, they have the
Ed> worst of jobs and they get the poorest pay.
When you know she will be working get some friends to come in. (About six)
Have two of your friends start to order something from you and then, when
you're busy helping them, have the other friends come up to the counter and
start to order food from the lady.
Have your friends be obnoxious and ask for little changes in their food.
Example.. "I'd like a soda with ten Ice cubes. A cheesburger, without the
cheese, (No it's not a hamburger, it's a cheese burger with the cheese
removed after cooking. Tastes better) No pickels. I'd like a chocalate
shake... no umm, a vanilla shake... no... ummm damn I'll just have a small
coke, could we have this for here...
Oh sorry I meant could we have it to go... Oh extra salt and pepper and
ketchup in the bag ad could you possibly give me some...
You get the jist. A person was really pissing me off when I worked at a
different store and I had my friends do this. Not only did he screw up big
time and look like a clutz, he actually yelled at one of the people, who
then came back and complained to the manager with his friends, and the
manager bitched the guy out.
You should make sure you're serving your other two friends at the time, so
when she asks for help just say, "I'm sorry, but I've already got to take
care of these people."
#020 SLINGSHOT. By Greg Banerian.
In college we built a massive slingshot using surgical tubing, etc., and
destroyed fair portions of our building with it. Build one for yourself
and launch eggs, fresh dog turds, water balloons, etc., at their house in
the middle of night.
#021 BIRD AND THE BEES. By Dale Gee.
If you really wanted to be ugly, you could send a cash money order to one of
these bee keeping supply houses and have a swarm of bees delivered to the
mark.
If you're really ambitious you could take the swarm to your mark's
personally. Those bees will follow where ever the queen goes. The queen
comes in a cage attached to the outside of the box. Place the queen cage
where you want it. Open the box and viola! I thought it would be real
interesting to see someone's reaction to having a swarm of bees in their
car, apartment etc.
Well, I am sure the minds here can think of other uses for a swarm of bees.
#022 POSTER REVENGE. By The Last Viking, Samuel Taradash and
Steven C. Schultz.
The idea of poster revenge is to hang up posters which will destroy the
reputation of your mark. Just design the poster on your computer, print it
out and make a lot of copies. Now run around in the night and hang up the
posters.
As for what to write on those posters, well, it all depends a lot on what
area the guy is living in, what he is doing and how you want to hit him. If
he is a principle or a teacher you could make a poster saying that he abused
you in some way (Ofcourse you can't use your real name, fake a person!).
Then hang it up on the campus. If he is a owner of a store, and you are
living in e.g. US, you might write that he is a rascist. Simply hang up a
poster on his store, saying that coloured people are not welcome, or maybe
Germans dogs are not welcome, it would cause some havoc. You could also just
write that you bought one of his products and that it didn't work and you
didn't get the money back. Just lie about it. Maybe hanging up a poster
telling about his rascial outbreaks.
Now you might think that the guy can just rip the poster down again. Well, I
back in my young days were an active environmentalist, and we worked with
some commies here in Norway, and I remember one of them telling me how to
set up a poster. Simply break some glass in a bucket. Crush it good. Then
add tapistry glue. The idea is to first glue some on the wall, then hang up
the poster, then glue some over the poster, now when someone try to rip it
down they will get some hurting fingers, as glass tends to scratch.
--
Because this guy who lived in my dorm had done a decent girl wrong by making
her think she was being stalked I figured a little turnabout was in order. I
made up a flyer that read in large letters "If you can talk dirtier than me,
I will pay you $25!" then in smaller text was a bit about "I am a psychology
major doing a study on verbal sexuality in relation to mental violence. All
callers will remain anonymous." And, of course, the Mark's phone number was
prominently displayed on the flyer. I made ten photocopies and stapled them
up on the kiosks on my campus that are usually full of notices about "Free
Financial aid" and "Help wanted at McBurger." Just to see what was going
on, I tried calling him later that evening and asking "Is this the place to
call to talk dirty?" The torrent of desperate obsecnity he rattled back
more than answered my question.
--
Many states require convicted child molesters to notify neighbors of their
record. I'm sure you could use a laser printer to make a nice, official
looking letterhead that appears to come from your local police station and
"inform" all of his neighbors that he was recently convicted for sexually
abusing a young boy, and is undergoing treatment. If you got one of those
phone books indexed by addresses, you could get all of his neighbor's
names as well and address and send it to them personally, making it more
realistic. Just don't leave any fingerprints or saliva on the letter,
envelope or stamp.
There's a chance that some will be quick enough to realize that the letter
is forged, but some may be so mad that they won't care about the
possibility that it is true, especially those with young kids.
At the very least, he will be harassed by neighbors, and there have been
cases where the offender's house has been burned down. It will be almost
impossible to prove who did it, and it will only cost you a couple of
hours and a few stamps.
#023 SUGARBED. By Kennan Ferguson and Marko Heiskanen.
First, take off the bottom sheet of his/her bed. Put a sheet of plastic
there; not so thick that it will rustle. Next, spread a thick layer of
powdered sugar over the plastic; replace the sheet and return bed to its
normal state. The beauty of this is the plastic that reflects body heat,
making the sleeping mark sweaty. As he/she sweats, the sugar seeps up
through the bed-sheet. Upon waking, the individual looks and feels like a
glazed doughnut.
--
Replace the sugar with milk powder to get extremely unbeliavable results.
When the milk powder get into the spores, it stays there and turns sour.
Your mark will smell of sour milk for almost a week.
#024 CREED BED. By The Last Viking.
We used to do this to newcommers in the navy, but it can be an awesome good
revenge method too. Just wait until your mark is away for a week or so, then
sneak into his bedroom and sow creed into his bed. It practically grows
everywhere and only needs a little water.
#025 CALCULATOR TRICK. By Jay C. Box.
This trick is not as easy to do as it once was, but either borrow or
appropriate their calculator the day or night before they have an exam and
open the case and carefully change the keytops around so that instead of:
7 8 9 1 2 3
4 5 6 you get instead: 4 5 6 like you see on telephones.
1 2 3 7 8 9
0 0
The idea is to be subtle so that they don't discover it early. You can
change the mathmatical operators if you wish but I prefer less. Since the
keyboard layout looks natural, most will assume that their calculator died!
Unfortunately the calculator is not always constructed compatible with
this trick anymore.
Ed> This might also work on telephones and remote controls.
#026 ROAD KILL. By Wil Jamison.
Another thing you can do is: get a fresh intact roadkill. Tie a length of
rope securely around it. Tie the other end to your mark's axel. Place the
roadkill up on the axel so it balanced and out of sight. When your target
drives off eventually the roadkill will fall off and start bouncing behind
the car. Guaranteed to attract attention from other drivers, cops,etc.
#027 THE NEW/OLD BUCKET TRICK. By Unknown.
My roommate and I have some very interesting means of revenge. First, take
the clear window insulator, that can be found at most hardware stores, and
put it over their door at night. The instructions tell you to use a
hairdryer, but an iron on the low setting works. That's how we did it. If
you're feeling particularly lucky, try coating the inner surface with
Vaseline. Setting a can filled with water up against their door is rather
nasty too. Lean it so that it falls over when they open the door.
#028 BY THE DOOR. By Morpheus, Donald E Quigley, Toby Lane, Steven C.
Schultz, Cyberknight and Tim J. Lavoie.
You take a paper bag and fill it with, eh...animal defecation (that's dog
turd -just making sure), and close the top of it with staples. You then
soak it in gasoline and place it on the front stoop of an annoying neighbor,
right under the door. Light the bag ablaze and ring the doorbell. RUN.
If all goes right, this is what should happen. The person comes to the
door and sees a small blazing bag on his stoop. What does he do? You
guessed it. He stomps it out. The reaction is priceless.
BTW If nobody answers the door, you still leave a nasty smell (ever small
crap burning?) by the house and a wicked-looking mess on the stop.
--
Try filling up one of those big, dirty (not necessarily empty) garbage cans
in the dorm with water and leaning it up against their door. Then knock
(and run like hell).
--
Wait until they're gone out of the house, hook up their garden hose, push it
through the paper slot on their front door, and turn it on. Or go into the
house, turn all the taps on, and leave, locking the door behind you. If you
can spray some filler at the bottom of the door to seal more of the water
in, so much the better.
--
Take a two liter soda bottle and cut the neck off. (so it is like a big
drinking glass.) Fill it up with something like used motor oil, a mixture
of blood catfish bait and water (available at Wal-Mart for $2... this
stuff smells BAD!), urine, shit and water (animal or human) or a similarly
disgusting liquid. Prop it against the door so that it will spill inside
when he opens the door. Knock and run, or just wait for him to open it
whenever.
If you have trouble getting it to balance on a smooth floor while leaning
against the door, just put a loop of duct tape at the point where it
contacts the floor.
If you can set the bottle on top of something (like an overturned trash
can, milk crates, etc) so that it is a few feet off the ground, some of
the disgusting liquid might actually get on more than just his feet...
Even if it doesn't, the liquid will still splatter further and make a
bigger mess.
--
Take a thumbtack and a tea bag and thumbtack the teabag over the top of his
door. Cut the bottom off the bag, and place it on the upper edge of his
door. The idea is that when he opens it, he'll get tea dumpedall over his
head.
Put a sign on his door that reads, "Do nut disturb! Masturbating
intensely!"
--
One thing that is harmless (but really neat), is to tape newspaper over the
door frame, leaving only a gap at the top. Then fill the gap with styrofoam
peanuts, popcorn, whatever. As soon as the door is opened, the vacuum sucks
light, "floaty" debris all over the entrance area.
#029 VINEGAR IN THE WATER. By Morpheus.
For all you Boy Scouts out there- on camping trips, when you little
trekkers get REALLY thirsty and start chugging down the canteens, watch the
reaction of the pain in the neck who SOMEHOW got vinegar in his. He won't
forget it. Neither will you.
#030 TOILET REVENGE. By Rob Peacock, KCWinstead, C. Lynn Ashworth and
David T. Witkowski.
Suranwrap is fun. You can also wrap it over the top of the toilet bowl on
your mark's toilet and then put the seat down. This works especially good if
your mark is a woman.
--
Pour syrup on the toilet seat. You can't readily see it, but your mark
- will* stick to the steat.
--
Cement mix (the type where you just mix with water) to fill up the toilet
after you leave, or put it in on-site washing/laundry machines.
--
Go to a restaurant that serves tomato catsup (ketchup) in little squeeze
packages. Get the ones that are really full if you can. I know that
McDonald's has good ones. Fold the packet in half, and poke a couple of
small pinholes in the packet at the crease. Lift up the seat of the mark's
toilet, and position the packets so that they are underneath the plastic
feet of the toilet seat, and face the creases so that they're pointing about
where the mark's legs will be as they sit down. Then set the seat down
gently. When your mark sits down, the backs of their legs will get doused
with the ketchup spray.
#031 SWAPPING ROOMS. By Morpheus.
Find another guy who's willing to agree with this. Then, simply switch the
furniture in the rooms. When he comes home, and opens the door, he sees
that he is no longer in "his" room. You can go on from there ("Hey! How
the hell did you get our key? Who the hell ARE you, anyway?").
#032 ANTI-COMMERCIAL. By The Last Viking.
This one is good if your mark is a store or an organization who're using a
lot of money on commercial posters. The idea is to change the text on the
poster to something that turns against them. E.g. If there's a simple poster
saying "Welcome back." Then you can write under. "and we'll cheat you
again". This is just an example, just use your smartass whit to produce
something good.
#033 MAILBOX LOCK. By Scott Adams.
This is a simple one, if your neigbour is getting on your nerves, then just
go to a hardware store and pick up a lock. He will eventually manage to cut
the lock off, but it'll be with some work of his side.
For more fun, you can: Pour honey in the inside, attracting many ants.
Epoxy the flag up (if you have a bad mailman, do this to every house nearby.)
Fill it with cement.
#034 CABEL TV. By Scott Adams, The Last Viking and C. H. Lund.
Suppose you live in an area equipped with cable. If you have ever looked at
those boxes, you'll know that they generally fine you pretty badly for
messing with the boxes. Open one up, and unhook wires, flip switches, do
whatever seems good. Then, close the box again, and wait. They won't get
the TV to work, will call the cable company, and get a nice fine.
--
Another cool thing to do is to find where the cable is dug down, then dig it
up, cut it, use some black tape to cover the cutting. Now the cable company
will have real hard time finding the error.
Remember timing is essential, cut the cable just before the Olympics any
other big event.
--
Here's a variant I learned in the army: Instead of cutting the cable when
you dig it up, stick a pin/needle into it and cut off both ends (with a
wire cutter or like), thus leaving a piece of metal in the cable. This is
garanteed to ruin the cable, and it's (almost) impossible to find the
section of cable ruined by the presence of the pin. The entire cable will
have to be replaced.
Ed> I don't see how this will work on a RF-cable, maybe on a signal cable.
Ed> Well, atleast we can dream about it.
#035 MAILBOX PROTECTION. By June Peckingham, Ben A. Ostrowsky and Dale Gee.
For anyone that has ever had their mailbox knocked off by a silly prankster
driving along in his car with a baseball bat, here's a suggestion for
revenge:
Buy a big mailbox and a little mailbox. Put the small mailbox inside the big
one, and fill the space between with cement. You will still get your mail
delivered but if anyone attempts to bash your box, they will break their
arm and their habit for mailbox baseball. :}
--
Here's another, which works particularly well against nocturnal dweebs.
Drive a heavy pipe into the ground, next to your mailbox. Make sure it
reaches as high as the top of your mailbox. Paint it black. Wait.
For weeks, our nights had been punctuated with the occasional "vrrrmmm...
THWACK!" as local community-college guys accelerated to about 40 mph. That
night, we heard: "Vrrrmmm... CLANG!" - "OW!" - "Shit, man, back up! I
dropped the bat!" - "No way." "Vrrrmmm..."
We laughed for ten minutes straight and got a slightly used aluminum bat out
of the deal.
--
My uncle had a problem a snow plow driver who couldn't tell the difference
between the road and his mailbox. After a winter of complaining to the
county about his mail box getting flatten he took matters in his own hands.
He went down the scrap yard. Bought a 6 foot (2 meter) length of I-Beam.
The kind they use in construction. Set the thing in concrete. The first
good snow the snow plow comes along and all you heard was a loud thud. The
county complained but there was nothing they could. Uncle never lost
another mailbox.
Couple kids try to run it down one night and received the same results.
Except they needed a tow truck to take their car home.
#036 STOPING THE GAS SUPPLY. By Karl Anders ?ygard.
A friend of mine from California had this guy who was bothering the hell out
of him, so he decided to play a him a trick. When moving he'd noticed that
all you have to do to cut of the gas, is call the gas company -- no ID
required, and it's turned off promptly.
One Friday afternoon he made some calls, impersonating the aforementioned
lucky fellow, and had them turn off the telephone, electricity, gas and
water. Needless to say, a certain guy was in for a nice calm weekend.
Even better: the electricity companies charge you $20 to put the electricity
back on...
#037 CANCELING THE EXAMS. By Karl Anders ?ygard.
Here, if you need to sign off some exams, you skip down to the student's
office and tell them; point is, you don't need any kind of ID, so you could
just as easily sign all your friends and enemies off as well. You'll have to
know which exams they are signed up for, but with a little effort this
should pose no real problem.
Ed> I know for sure that this won't work here at the University of Troms?.
Ed> When I was canceling a math course they were asking for both social NO.
Ed> and identification. Still you could try it, but remember that it's a
Ed> fellow student who actually loses maybe half a year, and I guarantee
Ed> there will be trouble.
#038 A VANISHING ROOM. By Gordon Prioreschi.
One of the "classic" pranks where I went to school: when some dorm-dweller
left for vacation, his dorm-mates got some drywall, speckle, paint, etc.,
covered his door, and painted it to match the rest of the hall. Really neat,
tidy job -- you couldn't tell that there had been a door there. They even
went so far as to move a light fixture onto the new "wall" to confuse the
guy. When he came back from vacation, they all pretended not to know him
-- and his room had "disappeared."
He eventually got a hammer and started flailing at the wall. Finding his
door took a while due to the light fixture. Meanwhile, the others called
Security: "There's some strange guy beating on the walls with a hammer..."
Ed> A bit unbelieveable. Yet, we're allowed to dream about it.
#039 NOISY PARTY BREAKS. By The Last Viking, Samuel Kaplin and DanD.
I was at a party where there was two guys who were making much noise. When
they finally fell asleep, we gathered our forces and swiftly stripped their
clothes of and placed the fellas in a bed. Then we brushed their ass with a
toothbrush (Nasty business!) Next morning they woke up bare naked,
accompanied by each other and a sore ass. We never heard about it... :)
--
We got the idiot in question totally plastered to the point of passing out.
(I worked in the bar, he was getting shots of 151 from the barmaid, I was
getting shots of water.) One of us drove him home in his car, the other
followed. We then parked his car in front of his house and sprinkled the
front liberally with cow's blood and threw some (not much) human hair on
the front (blonde). We then left the car. When he got up in the morning he
freaked.
It just so happened that there was a hit and run that night and he thought
he did it. Fortunately he already had some front end damage so we didn't
have to break anything. We never did tell him of the "joke", to this day he
thinks he is guilty and some other sucker took the rap.
--
Some friends were coming back from a concert when one guy who was the
biggest jerk passed out in the van. The women in the group happily took
turns layering his head with hairspray. Spray a little, let it dry, spray a
little more, etc... they went through 2 bottles of the stuff. (The smaller
bottles) When he got home and woke up, he had a HAIR HELMET.
#040 FAX MACHINES. By MAD Mosher, Dale Nurden and The Last Viking.
Ed> Before you do any stunt with your fax machine, remember that some fax
Ed> machines releases their telephone numbers on the top page of the paper
Ed> that they are faxing out.
Print out about 8 sheets filled with crap. I dunno - one sheet with "FUCK"
written all over, one with "SHIT", so forth...
Stick them together with tape, and feed into the fax machine. Dial one of
their offices and start the message. When the first sheet comes out the
other end, tape it to the end opf the message. You now have one big loop
of paper which you can leave. This will run up their phone bill and use a
load of expensive fax paper at the other end.
Best ides would be to do this just before clocking off at the end of the
day so that it runs overnight...
--
Totally black paper might overheat the fax machine.
--
Someone in this group once mentioned that if you sent a file full of
formfeed characters to one of those fax machines with an automatic paper
cutter thingy, the mark would end up with a pile of 1 inch strips of paper.
--
I created a fax that sent ten pages of supposedly "internal diagnostic
messages", like:
System Error 1207: Internal controller failure.
These were to be followed by one which warned the user to disconnect the
machine and not attempt to use it until "qualified repair personnel" had
serviced it. Then I waited until a Friday afternoon, just before a three day
holiday weekend, and started sending the FAX after 5 PM when I knew no one
would be available to "repair" it. (The "mark" is a businessman in a field
that's heavily dependent on faxes.)
About halfway through the fax, I was disconnected! I tried calling back but
got no answer. I kept trying every so often, and the fax machine never
answered the phone again until Wednesday afternoon! He turned it off and
kept it off even before the last page that would have warned him to do so.
I figure that I not only cost him a wasted service call, but kept his ONLY
fax machine offline for nearly six days! Maybe the repairman even played
along and ripped him off fixing the "expensive problem" with his machine,
and charged him big time. Or maybe he just junked and bought a new one.
Other interesting stuff to do with your fax is to send the first page
"missing". Start the second page so it looks like his machine "ate" the
first page, or someone forgot to send it. Make it look like the fax
contained vital information from someone he knows. Get him to call
everyone he knows to find out if they sent it. For example, if the
second page merely said:
Page 2
your life. Now that you know what he's planning to do to
you, you can take steps to protect yourself. I wish you luck.
If I can help, please call me. I won't call you, because
your phone is probably tapped and that would just tip him
off. Watch your step, buddy!
Ed> Or place a huge order with the address of your company on page 1..
What would you think if you got something like that? If the guy's a big
enough asshole to get YOU mad at him, and plotting revenge, then he's
probably made other enemies, too! Notice that your fax didn't threaten him.
Do you suppose he'll sleep well the night after he gets that fax?
If he works for a big company, or a secretary is likely to see his faxes
first, send him a really "personal" one from a "lover", identified by first
name only, of course. Get his secretary to start suspecting him. Even if she
never read it, he'll wonder if she did.
#041 CRAPPY TOILET. By The Last Viking.
Just put all the toilet-paper in the toilet, take a shit, then add some
water. It's really easy, and real disgusting. If you want to become utterly
tasteless you would just shit in a lamp (You know that in the roof, which
you can unscrew [where the heck is my dictionary]) then reinstall it. The
light-bulb will create heat that makes the shit vapor and it will smell
real bad.
#042 DOOR KILLERS. By Kelton E. Ryan, Oleg, Lyvo and Andrew Barg.
I read somewhere that it can be very effective to stick toothpicks into
somebody's car door lock and break them off. Apparently this cannot be
repaired without great difficulty, the mark will have to take his car in and
probably pay a few bucks to get it fixed.
--
Try dropping couple drip of crazy clue into his/her office's keyhole when
he/she's not in. I normally do that on combination locks...
--
That, or small bits of wire. Works great on door locks, too. And the best
thing, very hard to spot and prove.
--
If you're going to glue coins to someone's car, you should glue them at the
base of the window where it won't open. In an attempt to remove the coins,
they will usually shatter their own window.
#043 AT THE MARK'S PARTY. By Darren.
Ok, here is the deal: You go to a house-party where you don't exactly know
the people throwing it (fuck, it doesn't matter you could know the people).
Get an old electrical socket (the thing you plug in the wall) leave about 2
feet of it hanging off, remove the plastic, and twist the wires together.
When you plug it in the socket, the electricity breaker will trip, thereby
turning off the electricity, therefor the lights will go out, thereby
allowing you to rob the house if you want!!!!
It works! I tried it, but I didn't rob the house! It just makes a more
interesting party when no one knows why the fuck all the lights went out,
and is too stupid to check the electrical box and put the breaker back on!
#044 JUNK MAIL REPLY. By DanD, JRWinston, Lee Lorenz and Diana Balance.
Here's a great idea for returning reply mailers ... glue the ENTIRE inside
of the envelope together... better still, glue many pieces of paper
together, then glue the envelope together. All-in-all pretty harmless, but
imagine the poor shmuck trying to pull that sucker open without tearing
something. (Even one better, put a generic check, made out for $$ inside,
so the schmuck gets distraught at destroying it!!!)
--
You might want to make sure that all address labels and anything inside
containing your name are removed first. I'm told that "misuse" of "business
reply envelopes" is a violation of US Postal Service regulations.
"Discretion is advised", as they say.
--
I like to cross-mail my junk mail. Take company A's crap, extract the
post-paid envelope. Do the same to company B's junk mailing. Insert A's
pamphlets, letters, testimonials, etc, into B's envelope, and vice versa.
Basically, REMAIL your junkmail to some other company, and let the recipient
pay for it! This is most fun with creative selection. Send the catalog of
adult movies to the local church. Send the request for donations to the
local church to the local homeless shelter. Have fun!
--
Always remember you can mail cockroaches--just put sugar in a padded
envelope and tape/staple in really well so he'll lose his patience and
rip it open in a hurry.
--
You know those things that fall in a torrent from every magazine you get?
Solution; Send them in blank. No name is required and postage is guaranteed.
Maybe after a few hundred thousand dollars is wasted somebody will wake up?
#045 SNOW MAN. By DanD.
I've always enjoyed building a snowman over a fire hydrant. There's always
someone to come along who thinks wrecking some kid's snowman is FUN. He
soon discovers that having a broken foot is not fun.
#046 LANDLORD REVENGE. By Frank Reid, Mary, David K. Bryant, Charles Trew
and DanD.
Install a hidden doorbell or other electric noisemaker in the basement. Run
the (buried) wires out to the alley and hide the end under a rock. At 0300,
connect a battery to the wires just long enough for the lights in the house
to go on. Repeat at random intervals longer than one week.
Something similar could be done wirelessly: Garage-door receivers and
transmitters (less door mechanism) are inexpensive at Sears, et al.
--
Periodically I would be scheduled to work an all-nighter. Before leaving for
work I would turn off my answering machine and place both of my phones next
to our common bedroom wall. During the night I would call my number and let
it ring five times and hang up. I'd wait thirty seconds and try again.
After ten minutes of that I'd wait maybe half an hour and start again.
Sometimes I'd dial my number and then just put the phone down and go back
to work for half an hour or so. Hey, I was up and awake -- why shouldn't
they be.
I'd come home the next day and get the evil eye. Hey, I don't know who was
trying to call. I wasn't here. Everyone that needs to reach me has my
pager number. Must have been a wrong number.
The next one was an accident but could be applied deliberately...
Another thing you can do is set the alarm clock at, say, 5:30, then just let
it stand there and ring.
--
Art....Do you pay utilities separate from rent? If not...how about leaving
the water running all day and cranking the heat up real high and opening the
windows (assuming its real cold out)....
--
Plant some marijuana in the garden. Let it grow a little. Turn them in.
The local law can seize the property. (meaning the cops take away the house
and the owners do not get it back!) Bullshit laws, but hey. Might as well
do some good with them. The case has to be proven, of course, but it will
at least cause some discomfort.
--
If you're going to move out, leave some raw meat in the heating vents (and
don't hang around).
#047 COPS. By The Last Viking and Toby Lane.
Okay, here is the deal.. You've just driven faster than the speed limit, the
police are after you.. Now do this.. Drive a bit faster (preferably at the
speed limit), just until the police are just behind you.. Then hit the
brakes.. You know, just lock the wheels. If you are "lucky" the police will
drive straight into you, and you can go out and make the best out of it. (In
Norway it's the guy from behind that'll get the fault)
--
First of all, be very, very careful. Honest cops (no oxymoron jokes please)
can come down on you hard if they think you are going to mess with them,
and corrupt cops are not restricted by the moral or even legal restraints
that the honest ones are. If you have already antagonized these guys, don't
even think of doing anything for at least six months, as any shit that
happens to them will make them suspect you immediately. If you can, work
through a TRUSTED proxy. The best stunt is to use the cops supposed powers
against them. Find a very attractive married woman that you don't know and
get her phone number (you're creative, you'll think of something) Phone her
up from a bar or public phone and claim to be Officer X. Tell her that you
saw her in her car and used your car computer to get her phone number and
address from the number plate on her car. Tell her you love her. Be graphic.
If she says that shes married, threaten to arrest the husband on some
trumped up charge (sadly, drug possesion charges seem to get severe
sentances in the States, so use this one) so that you can be with her. Do
this (with variations) on as many important and influential people and/or
their families as you can. They will be the only people who are able to
weild enough influence to get rid of Officer Asshole.
#048 FEMALE ATTRIBUTES. By The Last Viking.
If you have access to a scanner/paintprogram/printer, then get a picture of
your mark, preferably a woman. Scan it, then surf around the net for awhile,
until you find some good pictures of women, that can be used (Fairly the
same position and distance/light). Cut'n'paste, smooth it. Do a good job on
it. Then hang it on a display-board at campus or at work.
#049 LAXATIVITY. By Rugger.
If you want to give somebody the shits really quick, put 2 or 3 drops of
Visine (an eye wash) in their drink (any kind) and within 15 minutes or so,
they'll be running for the crapper. A bartender told me this trick because
he used to do it to get rid of obnoxious drunks. Visine is available in any
drugstore in the USA.
#050 POWER FAILURE. By Mary and The Last Viking.
Sneak in when they are not home and carefully open up the electrical wall
sockets or the tiles of a suspended ceiling. Insert scrap pieces of raw
chicken in the wall or ceiling and close it back up.
The smell will be terrible and they wont be able to figure out where it's
coming from. You could always just hide the pieces around the apt. too,
(under the kitchen sink, in a linen closet, between box spring and matress).
--
Well, since you already are in the sockets, why not forging a short-circuit?
BTW, you're breaking in at someone elses house. Don't think they won't
report it to the police.
#051 SHORT SHEETING. By CyberKnight.
This is simple. Un-tuck the bottom of the bed sheet. Take the bottom and
pull it about 1/3 of the way towards the head of the bed. Tuck it back in.
What's supposed to happen is the mark slides into the sheets like a
sausage into a pita pocket-- except that now, he doesn't have enough room
to stretch his legs out all the way!
Be warned, I've seen sheets ripped this way, but it's usually harmless.
#052 CARS. By David K. Bryant, Toby Lane, Hiram, Tapas Pain, The Last Viking,
Neil P. Montoya, John Armstrong, Bjoern Stenbakken, Kirby, Roy
Stewart, Joan Tine, Steve McQueen, Mark, Loop, Simon Wright,
Larry Collins, Gregory Winer, David Morning, Jim Michael,
Prime Risk, Patrick I Buchert and Michael Thomas Albers.
A trick I used to do, was take small glass vials stolen from the doctors
office and fill them with vaseline or some other viscous substance. I'd
cap them and carry them around until some dumbass jock tried to express
his sexual frustrations and penile inadequacies by trying to run me over
in his car. Then I would pull a vial out of my pocket and throw it as
hard as I could at his windshield. As jocks are not the smartest people
in the world, he would inevitably turn on his wipers thus smearing the
grease all over his windshield.
--
Try dropping a couple of eggs down the heater intake vent on a car. Normally
located near the windshield. Go ahead and crack the eggs open and drop them
in nicely. Wipe off any that doesn't go in the vent so the customer doesn't
know it's in there. They may notice a strange smell at first, but nothing
compared to how it will smell in a day or two. This smell is virtually
impossible to get rid of, esp. if it makes it all the way to the heater core.
--
A very simple way to screw up a car is to remove the balancing weights from
the wheels. The tires will now be out of balance and driving will not be
good on the tires or the suspension. At the very least the mark will have to
spend awhile at a tire shop and pay $5 or so per tire to have them
re-balanced.
--
After seeing a special on TV about people who do weird things to their cars,
I thought of something that would be funny to do to someone who is in love
with their car: Find some sort of water soluble glue, or other sticky
substance, and coat the car everywhere but the glass when the mark will not
be near the car for a few days. After the coat apply grass seed.
--
In any case, should you use some other glue (And be ready to expect a new
paintjob) the seeds would prolly just die.. ie you might need to do some
more elaborate setup. In any case very cool idea IF you could pull it off,
saw one car which was grass-coated on TV but I recall it took pretty long to
get it look good.
--
Slide under the front and poke some holes in the lower radiator hose using
a sharp ice pick. The puncture should close itself and everything will be
fine until the engine gets up to temperature and then the coolant will blow
out the holes. Quick & easy. No assembly required.
--
Put brake fluid in a childs water pistol, the just fire at the car. It is
known to be quite effective anainst paintwork.
TOBY> Just make sure its not one of the silicon-based substitutes for brake
TOBY> fluid. They don't work anywhere near as well. Ask your friendly
TOBY> auto-mechanic whether its silicon-based or not.
--
Try using that hardening, expanding window caulk that's used to insulate
cracks and crevasses in the winter. Squirt a liberal amount of that up his
tailpipe early in the evening so it has time to harden over night. If you
get it in far enough, it will be invisible, and baffle him for a while...not
to mention the cost of a tow ($50 around here) + muffler work (another $85)
+ lost work time = phun. On a more responsible note, if you have legitimate
fears (I forget from the original post, what the details were), you could
conceivable obtain a court injunction or restraining order, no?
--
Coat the mark's windshield wipers with glue and then cover with sand. Next
rain, their windshield will be scratched to hell!
--
Put some sort of racially degrading bumpersticker on his/her car. Survey the
local area and find out what ethnic group is the most militant, and use that
one for your assault. Otherwise, generic "White Power" or "Give America Back
to Real Americans", "The Klu Klux Klan - Working for Real Americans".
If their car isn't torched or mutilated within a few days, send them on a
drive through the *bad* part of town.
If you're at all electrically inclined...
Cross wire their headlights to their horn. Great way for them to make
friends with the neighbors, especially if they leave home at 5 AM.
--
An idea that I haven't tested but seem to have a big potential is to remove
the valve stem on a tire and quickly superglue an eraser in its place. I
figure it should hold until the first good size bump the car hits. Another
possibility would be to do them the favor of getting their valve stems real
good and tight. (i.e. strip the threads.)
--
This one only works in the winter in temps below freezing but it's good. Get
one of those small air tanks, you know like the ones we've all seen on big
pickups or tow trucks (we used to have one in our garage for our bikes when
I was a kid). Fill it up about 3/4 with water then pressurize it. Go to the
car you want to revenge and let the air out of one or two tires. Then refill
the tires using the tank you brought with. The water will freeze solid and
every time they take off after having let the car sit a while they'll get a
strange "thump-thump" that mysteriously goes away by the time they ever get
to a mechanic.
Should be sufficient to cause some good repair bills.
--
Feminist used this trick in Oslo mid. 70'ties. They sprayed "Hore Kunde."
meaning: "whore customer" at the side of the whore customer's car. There
are many other things you can spray at a person's car for example blow me,
I have AIDS, I'm cheating my wife, dial (phone no.), I am horney, etc.
--
Three more good ones. "Registered Sex Offender, Child Molester or Paroled
Rapist" These really improve community relations.
--
Get a hype and fill it with Fox Urine Lure from your local hunting supply.
Insert the needle in the rubber gasket or coaming that seals the window or
door and spray the inside of the car. For months the car will be sticky,
and every time the weather warms up it will smell like Boy Fox in Love.
--
A friend of me once suranwraped her mark's car. She wrapped the plastic
around the car, from bottom to top. If the car sits in the sun, say Phoenix
Arizona sun, it makes it real fun. Be sure to cover the door handles and
locks.
--
Tie your enemy's car to the something on his house or his other car or
something (use solid rope or a chain) for example, attaching it to the door
knob on the outhouse-door should make much damage.
This works best if the chain or rope is long. Approx. 20-30 meters. Do it in
the dark, and cover the rope with some sand or something. Then you can sit
back and wait for him to drive to his school or job. (The longer the rope,
the better, because he will then gain more speed before anything happens.)
--
Get a C-clamp from a hardware store. Slide under the car (you may need a
skinny accomplice) and use the clamp to squeeze the exhaust pipe flat. But
not completely flat. Leave about 1/2 cm so that the car will start fine and
drive OK in traffic but when heavy acceleration or high speed driving is
needed it is gutless. This should give similar indications of fuel
starvation. You could also crush the fuel line.
--
Another way to poka-dot a car is to throw fresh Bologna on it at night when
it is dewy out. Next day, they peel it off and 'Viola! Poka-dot paint, just
what the doctor ordered.
--
This one would require the mark to be on a long vacation and their car needs
to be kinda hidden from view of too many people. Get a good jack, jack up
their car and make small slits in the tops of the tires. Pour the concrete
in and let it dry. When it is dry lower the car and clean up as much as
possible. Won't they be surprised?
--
Some high students in Ohio (I think) actually pulled this one off. They got
their hands on a large amount of plaster of Paris bandages, the kind wrapped
around splints which harden and form a cast, you know what I'm talking
about? It took four of them ten minutes to completely mummify the car, then
they ran a hose over it and hardened it solid. Difficult and expensive to
pull off but when it comes to making the guy look like a complete sphincter,
this is the best trick I have ever heard of.
To really fuck up tires, pull out the "stems" (where you put in the air)
with pliers. But leave them there beside the tires because, for some reason,
the schned you have done this to will almost always try to push them back
in. This is an absolutely hilarious sight if you dare hang around and watch
it.
Get the distributor cap, take it out, and run a simple graphite pencil over
the rotor brushes. The engine will sputter and misfire.
Three or four Alka-Seltzers in each battery compartment will kill it quicker
than prunes through a short granny.
For the fuel tank, the following I recommended Crushed cork, Silicone
carbide or sugar, but make it icing sugar. Shellac thinner added to "gas" as
you guys call it, will cause the engine to sputter and misfire, but it goes
out the exhaust pretty quickly. Use about a gallon, and keep adding it over
a time. The car owner will keep taking it to a mechanic, who will keep
finding nothing wrong with the engine, annoying them both.
Styrene, don't add it to the "gas" but to the oil. It breaks down the oil
and this locks up the engine. You need to use about one pint to every four
quarts of oil, (Do Americans still use imperial measurements?) and it will
take about 1.5 to 2 hours of road time.
One final piece of advice. When adding stuff to a "gas" tank
(A) Put the stuff in a metal gasoline can. That way anyone who sees you will
assume that it is gasoline.
(B) Don't forget a funnel. Seems obvious, but I've forgotten, ahem or would
have if I had ever actually done any of these tricks which of course I
haven't, they're illegal and I would never dream of blah blah blah....
Now to get his car, wait until dark and your roommate is out. With some very
trusted friends, put his car on blocks and take off all the nuts on the
wheels. Put superglue on the "threads" of the bolts and screw on the nuts as
tightly as possible. Then file the edges of the nuts so they cannot be
gripped by a spanner easily. Then puncture all four tires. His mechanic will
need literally weeks to get it back on the road.
--
Put the car it in neutral, put it in a handicapped space, put an anti-police
bumper sticker on it, and call the cops. I recommend, "BEAUTIFY THE WORLD --
KILL A COP TODAY"
The cop will find extra citations. If you are really mean, a little bag of
pot tucked past the door-frame where it can be seen (stretch the door top
out and drop it through) will put him into the nightmare world of our legal
system)
I wouldn't use the embellishment, myself, but it would really fuck him up.
The question is, are you mad enough to ruin this guy's life?
--
I heard Ping-Pong balls also work well. As the gas line decreases, the balls
will stop up the intake line forcing the car to run in jerky motions the
more the driver hits the gas. I like your idea too though.
--
If he already has his own locking gas cap, you could make it "REAL SECURE"
for him. Break off some toothpicks and super glue or epoxy them into the
lock.
--
Anyone thought about just spilling a lot of of paint on a car? It could be
quite expensive to fix.
--
I have found that the viscous paint stripper does a (Billy Crystal ->)
marvelous job on automobile paint. Be sure the surface is dry. A little dew
reduces the effect. Just pour a blob on the hood (bonnet).
Ed> Try tape used for sealing envelopes. :-)
A previous suggestion of draining the oil from the engine is fine as far as
it goes but unfortunately there are gauges and warning lights. Try the
transmission. One benefit of this is that they will breakdown somewhere
besides the front yard.
#053 GRAFFITI WITH AJAX. By Toby Lane.
Just got this from a friend and it sounds like a good one. If you want
graffiti that will really stick around, get a big sheet of paper and write
your message on it with liquid Ajax (for you Americans, Comet?) Something
like "(Name of person you hate) blows goats" or whatever. You take the paper
to the wall, douse it in lighter fluid, stick it to the wall, make a lighter
fluid trail away from the wall and light it. The whole thing burns in about
one second, so there is no fire danger, but your message gets stuck to the
wall by some chemical process, and it is virtually impossible to get off. I
urge you to use on the delightful Canter and Seigel, preferably on the walls
of their lovely home. You can also use a lot of little pieces of paper to
make one really big message.
#054 IN THE POOL. By John Hong, L. A. Spangler and Florin Cutzu.
Just pour dysenteric shit in the pool - you may get it (freely!) from any
Infectious Diseases clinic; if not, thouroughly mix a hefty volume (you may
need a little help from your friends here) of fresh, steaming, healthy shit
with warm water, and add it to the pool. A good eye infection is guaranteed.
--
Fling in rancid fatty chicken/fish parts ferchristsakes. If there are
any scavenger birds in the area, they will just add to the amusement. (I am
told vulture shit is VERY gross) The fat should leave a nice ring. A road
kill/large animal carcass would be rather impressive.
Also, consider motor oil/crisco/lard/etc. If you used used motor oil and
finked on em to the EPA/Local TV maybe they would have to call in a
hazardous waste disposal company instead of just sending it down the drain.
Add some Styrofoam peanuts/cups and gasoline and light the fucker at night
with a model rocket motor, a battery and a loooong wire?
I had great fun just lobbing mud balls into a pool -- makes a nice plop
sound (they shouldn't be home or you run fast -yes!?) and leaves nice round
dirt rings on the pool bottom. Another thing that could be cool is
throwing plaster/clay/cement/gravel into the pool. If you poured enough
cement into the bottom drain quickly so the pump got jammed, the cement
might still have enough lime to harden underwater.
In the *real sick* section, we have:
Really firm floating feces, used sanitary napkins/tampax, used diapers, used
condoms or scanky underwear
--
Kodak, and other chemical companies sell classes of chemicals called
surficants. These essentially make water more slippery. In a fountain with
close tollerances, (water hits 1 inch from edge) a good surficant can send
the water splashing 3 inches beyond the fountain pool. Drain the fountain in
short order, and burn out the pump.
Another alternative would be long chain polimers, the same stuff things
like astro-gel and slippery-stuff is made out of. It's not hard to duplicate
the recipe... A good friend did. But should make hot-tubbing a lot more fun.
#055 IN THE SHOWER. By Denise L Voskuil, Frank Reid, David Gillies, DanD.
Cathleen Gallagher, John L. Kinsella and Dylan Hayes.
Take a pill capsule (the gelatine ones are best). Open it and fill with
methaline blue dye which comes in powder form, is non toxic but very, very
good at stains. Fill the capsule with the powder. Smear the pill in some
vaseline. Insert pill into shower head. Mark runs water, gets in a then blue
dye comes out staining mark very well (especially good with blond hair!).
You may need some practise to make a pill that last just long enough for the
mark to get in the shower.
--
If the mark is a habitual person, unscrew the shower head in the shower you
expect him/her to use and drop a bouillon cube or two in. The hot water will
slowly melt the cube and the victim probably won't notice until it's too
late. The smell hangs on for a day or so. This worked well in my dorm.
--
Empty their bottle of shampoo, then fill it back up with nair.
Ed> uh, won't the mark notice?
--
A follow-up to my previous posting on the effectiveness of Nair: the stuff
may not always be effective on leg hair, from my personal experience. (I
haven't personally been revenged by the "Nair in the shampoo" method, nor
have I done it -- this should clarify my previous remarks.) My SO did this
to someone, and it caused a fair amount of hair loss, with some clumps lost.
The results may vary according to how much Nair you put in the shampoo
bottle. Also, try to get a type that smells pretty good -- I think there's
different scents, and from my recollection it does have a distinct smell.
You don't want to tip off your target when they pour out the shampoo. BTW,
the stuff is opaque, so if they use transparent shampoo, it'll be
noticeable.
Finally, see if they sell an "extra-strength" version, to really wreak
havoc.
--
Try substituting real honey for the mark's honey-colored shampoo. Honey has
a slight odor that the mark may detect, and it's water-soluble, so this is a
mild trick. If you want to get really nasty, use STP (tm) oil treatment.
It's not only odorless but, unlike most oils, soap won't dissolve it!
--
It seems to me that the trouble with spiking shampoo with a depilatory is
that you just whack the stuff on your head, squeegee it about a bit, and
rinse off. What you need is something that is going to stay on the mark's
bounce for a bit longer. How about conditioner? A minute's exposure might
not turn the mark into Yul Brynner, but it's got to be better than the
few seconds exposure you get from shampoo. I guess the ultimate medium
would be a home perm kit, or a hair dye solution. After all, you don't want
to wash that out.
--
How to add Nair:
1) Pour a small amount of shampoo into a cup.
2) Add Nair to the remaining shampoo until you can smell it.
(A little at a time, then shake well each time)
3) Add the small amount of shampoo from the cup back into the bottle.
The small amount you add back will cover the SLIGHT smell you detected
at the end of step 2.
#056 DOGGIES. By Toby Lane, DanD, Thomas Gauldin, Doug Clayton, DCrowder,
Stryk9 and Cyberknight.
Ed> A dog is an animal. An animal can not be held responsible for it's
Ed> actions. If it's owner doesn't take proper care of his dog, then it will
Ed> become scared and it will bark. This is the owner's fault, not the fault
Ed> of the animal. That's why you won't find anything here that might hurt a
Ed> dog, and my advice to you is to go after the owner. Read the alt.revenge
Ed> FAQ.
Buy a dog wistle and go out about 4AM and start blowing it. It will probably
make the dog bark *Hopefully* When they come out to check, the dog stop
doing it. Wait ten minutes till they are asleep again and...
--
"Dognap" the critter (sedating it first is recommended) and take it to a the
most expensive kennel you can find. Explain that you are going away for a
week and demand the very best for little Foo-Foo (or Chopper or whatever
its name is) Leave them your neighbor's address and phone number and make a
cash down payment for the first day if necessary, which it sometimes is. Your
neighbor will get a call about ten days and several hundred bucks later.
--
They make bark-deterrent devices that don't need to be attached to the dog.
When the device detects a bark, it emits a high-frequency sound that hurts
the dog. (You can't hear it) Every time the dog barks, it gets a painful
blast. It will learn not to bark soon enough.
--
If the dog is left outdoors at night, become its friend. Then, shave it -or
just its rear. If its rear is shaved, grease it up and make an anonymous
call to the police to report the person as a pervert having sex with the
dog.
--
I just got a good one from a friend of mine for getting rid of neighborhood
dogs that stroll about dropping gobbets of dung in all kinds of obnoxious
places. He did the following:
Dogs sniff territory right? Yes... but pay attention to the next time they
sniff a tree. They sniff until they get to the height the the urine can be
smelled most strongly. This tells them the height of the animal who has
marked the tree and therefore who's territory they are in.
Go down to the zoo and buy lunch for the caretaker of big cats. Get a good
sized pack of dung and urine and rub it on the trees in your area about
three feet from the ground. Your dog problems will disappear, as that would
make the animal stand at about four feet at the shoulder. Bow wow OW!
--
There's also this stuff you can put on your lawn that will make it rather
uncomfortable if it lays cable there, in fact the dog usually makes the
connection and doesn't shit there anymore.
Ed> Maybe this ain't revenge, but it's definetly a solution. Consult your
Ed> local pet store.
--
If a dog poops on your yard, dress it up in a cute little doggie sweater.
One that covers its ass so it gets its own poop all over itself before it
goes home. No harm to the dog, but boy, won't the owners be eager to hug
and play with the little guy!
Ed> Or use a diaper!
#057 FIBERGLASS IN THE CLOTHES. By Toby Lane.
Put a small piece of fiberglass in with their clothes when they're in the
spin dryer. It itches like hell and may give them a rash. Or try some
colored wax crayons.
#058 THE DORNMATE HAS A BORING GIRLFRIEND. By Martin Hannigan.
Be really nice to her. By her a small gift every now and then. Smile at her
a lot. Look at her tits as much as possible. Comment on her ass to her
boyfriend.
Piss in the hamper. Pray at the dinner table, or whenever they are around.
Fart in front of them.
#059 THE DORNMATE STEALS THE FOOD. By John Hein, Christopher G. Wakefield
Mike Smith, Phinn, John Hein and
Brian Smith-White.
Another jolly scheme involves a frozen chicken and a fridge that you know
will not be stolen from. Remove frozen chicken from secure fridge every
night and defrost it. In the morning, return it to the fridge to freeze. Do
this for a week, then put it into the fridge from which comestibles are
walking. A considerable case of food poisoning should result!
--
Try fart powder available in magic shops, never tried it, but it sounds
interesting
--
I found a pintsized carton of chocolate milk and "ripened" it for a few days
by leaving it on top of the heater in my room. After a couple of weeks I put
it back in the dorm fridge. Mere hours later someone attempted to drink it.
Didn't lose any more food the rest of the quarter.
--
Bake any amount of chocolate flavored Ex-Lax into a recipe that normally has
chocolate. Also make sure to include the normal amount of chocolate. If
anyone asks just say they are "double chocolate" or some garble like that.
It's also good to disguise the flavor with additional chocolate (chocolate
topping, etc.). A really nifty way of hiding it is "chocolate chip"
brownies. Make the brownies as you normally would but include chopped up
Ex-Lax instead of the chocolate chips.
You can also spoil yogurt and hide the taste with fruit or whatever else you
want to add. Yogurt has an inherently sour tasting food anyway, so it's easy
to mask spoiling. This may cause several forms of stomach pain. Syrup of
Ipecac also mixes very well into yogurt. This substance is sold in very
small doses at your local drugstore. It induces vomiting instantly.
You could also bake "decoys". Substitute baking soda for sugar, or flower.
This makes for a reasonable looking, but thoroughly awful tasting
concoction. Best with yellow or light brown muffins. It's hard to detect :)
Then there's the psychological terror you can invoke. After several cookies
or brownies have been stolen go to get one yourself and "find" a dead bug
in the box. Make several comments about laying eggs. This is usually best
when accompanied by one of the above tactics. It might make them wonder how
exactly they came to need to use the bathroom so frequently for whatever
reason.
--
You could always try Antabuse in their food before they go out for a drink.
--
It is expensive, but a motion-detector which sets off a loud, annoying noise
inside of a "lunch" container will get the culprit immediately after the act.
Place the prick-detector in a location where it will be visible to many
individuals over the entire course of the day.
#060 THE DORNMATE. By Martin Hannigan, Nancy Passwater, Crystal V. Freitas
and Denise L Voskuil.
Why not coat all of their clean dishes (assuming they have any) with that
stuff people put on their fingernails to keep from biting them? I used it
once, it tastes repulsive. I suggested she do this right before they pack
up to leave after their lease runs out.
--
That stuff hardens like nail polish, so I'm not sure what it would do
on dishes. It might work if hot food is put on the plate. Then again,
it might flake off and be noticed before eating - though they'd still
have a hell of a time cleaning the dishes off.
One possibility is the "Bitter Apple/Lime/etc." sprays and pastes. It's
a non-harmful but _bitter_ substance used to keep pets from chewing on
things, and comes in a pump spray (there's also a no-alcohol version for
plant leaves - I suspect the alcohol version may last longer) and a tube
of paste (good for furniture). You could spray it on their dishes, pour
some into their juice, mix it into their jelly/jam, and so on.
--
Place a Snickers Bar, or one with chocolate and peanuts in their bed,
preferably while they're sleeping. The body heat will melt the candy bars
and the result will be chocolate and peanuts smeared all over the subject.
It will appear as though the subject had shit himself.
Remember to take the wrappers away and discard them where they aren't
obvious. Take pictures of the mark when they get out of bed if possible.
--
What about some bleach in their liquid clothes detergent? Especially the
brand they use to do their colored clothes in.
Comet with bleach, the cleanser, might make a good paste when mixed with
some water to replace the toothpaste with and I don't think there is any
long-lasting side affects as it is so kind to bathroom appliances.
(Actually I can swear to this -- I ate comet as a kid and I'm sorta all
right.) There are several bathroom cleansers that might mix well with
toothpaste and leave a bad tasting mouth and burning gums. Or go into
the conditioner.
Crazy glue in hair gel? Or bleach in any kind of spritzing hair spray --
this would be most interesting if they have dark hair, and you would be
able to see the effects quickly. (Be kind, this is my first try, and I
seem to have gotten stuck on bleach.)
#061 GROCERY STORES. By George 'Pinhead' Curtis and Richard R. Moore.
If you're working in a grocery store where you can make free calls for
deliveries, orders, etc. and you want some revenge on your boss. Try one of
those sex numbers. Put a tape on the hang-up so that when the boss picks it
up in a couple of hours he will have a $500.00 phone bill. You can also try
this, pluss connecting the speaker to the loudspeakers in the store.
Go up to the deli and order about 3 pounds of fish. Just say it's for a
customer. Now when nobody's looking stick it way up a cash register or far
behind an aisle. In about 2 days the place will smell like somebody died.
If your store has radiators or heat sources, take a carton of cream and open
it up and put in the the radiator. It will smell like somebody shit and it
will blow it all over the store! This is a great way of discouraging
customers!
--
Go to the grocery store on the first Saturday of the month, typically the
busiest day of the month, get a grocery cart and pick a customer that is
dressed in a manner that makes them look like a stereotypical shoplifter.
Preferably one that is dressed a bit heavy for the weather. walk up to the
store manager in an excited manner and tell him " That man/woman just put
2 packages of steaks down his pants." This should lead to some interesting
events for the store.
Breed some maggots and drop them in thier meat case just before
closing and call your local health department.
Find out information about the store such as names of the department
managers,store manager,store number, and address of the store. Then call
local meat distributors in the early afternoon, 2pm to 3pm, tell them you
are at store number XXX and need to come by and get a few cases of Ribeyes
( expensive ). If the distributor acts like he doesn't know what store it
is they probably don't have an account there so try another distributor.
Once you have a properly responsive person taking your order, go pick up
your Ribeyes and have a barbecue, inviting me of course :-). If you start
shopping there and get friendly with the right people you can ask which
local distributors they buy from. BTW what I have described here is
very common practice in meat departments and would not seem out of the
ordinary to a distributor so long as the store has an existing account.
You could also get a part-time job in the store. This should not be very
hard to do since turnover is very high in a grocery store. Find out where
the control panels are for the freezers and coolers and one day when you
are working until the store closes turn off the freezers and coolers. This
should cause a substantial loss for the store.
#062 MISCELLANEOUS. By Tapas Pain, Lance Stahlberg and Digitar.
- Call child abuse authorities, tell them these rednecks are pedophiles.
- Go to the post office and hand in change of address cards for them -- have
their mail forwarded to China.
- Call the electric company and gas company and have all of their power shut
off.
- Call the phone company and cancel their phone service.
- Cancel their cable TV service.
- Ram potatoes and bananas into the tailpipe of their pickups.
- Put oil slicks on their driveway (not big ones, just slightly behind the
tires of their pickups).
- Call the newspaper and put their house up for sell asking $15,000.00 less
than the retail value.
- Put an add in the newspaper advertising an Acura NSX for sale, $18,000.00,
brand new, only 2,000 kms, fully stocked. Owner must move immediately,
desperate. Their phone will ring off the hook. Of course, do this only two
weeks after you've killed their phone service.
--
- Take the guy's bed and put it out in either the study lounge, lobby, or
bathroom .. fully made of course.
- Shaving cream in his socks
- Shaving cream at the foot of his bed
- IcyHot in the jock strap.
- Replace his/her shampoo w/ maple syrup. (REALLY EXCEPTIOALLY cruel if
done right .. get lots of calomine lotion for the bugs)
--
Before moving out of a really gross basement suite, known as THE SWAMP
because it was a fungusy, mouldy mess, a friend of mine did the following:
- Broke all of the lightbulbs, even fridge and oven
- Filled all the telephone jacks with MUSTARD
- Unscrewed the bottom hinges on all the cabinet doors (they kinda flopped
when opened)
- Pulled out all switch/outlet plates and intercom cover and scattered them
randomly throughout the place
- Filled the kitchen sink with kitty litter (and let the tap run a bit)
- Emptied out mouldy contents of fridge into toilet TANK
- Poured the oil from one dirty deep fryer (2L) into the bathtub. Some of it
made it down the drain before solidifying
- Left a tortilla in the toilet bowl, sorta floating on the water, but kinda
wrapping up the sides of the bowl with a big smiley face rendered in
mustard on it.
- Left reason for leaving on a piece of cardboard that read "Had to go. Too
much mould. There was no cleaner for us."
#063 UNFAITHFUL WIFE. By Dave Bushong.
I know someone whose wife at the time was fooling around on him, but thought
no one knew. She used the tactic "best defense is a good offense", telling
people that the husband was actually sleeping around. So the guy
laser-prints up this survey form, and rents a PO Box, and mails her the
survey form. It says "this form is being sent to ten thousand random women
who subscribe to [some magazine that she gets]. You will remain anonymous,
so please be totally honest." In fact, this was the only copy of the
survey, but she was pretty stupid, and fell for it.
It was a survey about marital fidelity, and asked questions like "How many
men other than your husband have you had relations with," "How often were
you unfaithful," and stuff like that. Anyway, she answered honestly, and
mailed the form back to the PO Box.
This piece of paper came in really handy when they were discussing the terms
of their divorce.
#064 DESTROYING A RELATIONSHIP. By Ed Butler, Warren Savage and Toby Lane.
Get a girl to call up looking for this guy when the wife is home. When the
wife says "He's not here, can I take a message?" get the girl to hang up.
The younger and more nervous the girl sounds, the better this works. Leave
used condoms in his car, his briefcase, the pockets of his coats, anywhere
his wife is likely to find them (I have a good recipie for fake semen if you
would like it, say if the real thing is not something you want to utilize)
Get the wife paranoid. If she is looking for something, she'll find out what
whats happening eventually. When that happens, you might encourage her by
posting here every newspaper and magazine clipping on Lorena Bobbit you can
find, you never know your luck.
Ed> It helps if the relationship is already wiggling.
--
Get a condom packet. Put it were the mark will not find it but the
significant other will. The significant other will either onfront the
mark who will deny all knowledge and not be believed or not confront
the victem but assume they have been unfaithful and give them the cold
shoulder
This could work in almost all relationships. As a matter of fact you could
leave a used condom in some findable hiding spot and it would be even
better. If the victem finds it he would probably assume the significant
other was screwing around.
--
Buy some raunchy, sleazy sex toys. You know, realistic dildoes, artificial
vaginas, butt plugs, whatever. Wrap them up in traditional christmas wrap,
with <From [2nd mark] To [Junior/Sis]> and <Do Not Open Until December 25th>
labels. Time the packages to arrive as close to christmas as possible. You
WANT Junior and Sis to open these packages and examine the contents. You
WANT Mr. Manager and Spouse to hurriedly TAKE the neat toys away from
Junior and Sis. You WANT Mr. Manager to mistrust Mr. Boss.
#065 EMAIL FORGERY. By The Last Viking.
Telnet to port 25 of your local machine. Try:
telnet [host] 25
And then type help. It should show you something like:
214-Commands:
214- HELO MAIL RCPT DATA RSET
214- NOOP QUIT HELP VRFY EXPN
214-For more info use "HELP <topic>".
214-smtp
214-To report bugs in the implementation contact Sun Microsystems
214-Technical Support.
214-For local information contact postmaster at this site.
214 End of HELP info
From there you type:
mail from: root [return]
Then type:
rcpt to: (email address of your mark) [return]
And then type:
data [return]
And then type what ever you want sent from root at your site to him, and end
it with a "." on a line by it's self. And then type quit.
And you have just done a very basic forging of mail from your administrator
to him. WARNING: I believe doing this is illegal in the US, I'm not sure
about other countries, though...
--
If you write HELO [email address] then you can forge something from
wherever you want.. Eg. helo president@whitehouse.gov, you could also
use their host. The path would look more believeable then.
WARNING!! This is strictly illegal. If your mark ask your sysadmin, and
he starts to look into it, then you're going to be discovered for sure.
Everything what you do on your system is probably audit filed, iow, they
can trace back and see who did it. Even if you telnet to a foreign host,
they will be able to trace it. Althou' they then have to do it through
those foreign sysadms. Be careful, people has lost their account on less
than this.
WARNING! Read the alt.revenge FAQ before you do anything stupid on Inet.
#066 CONTACT ON INTERNET. By The Last Viking.
The general idea here is to post an article in a contact group, telling
readers to contact your mark. First of all, you have to have an anonymous
account. At present is anon.penet.fi the safest and most used one. To get
information on how to use it, email help@anon.penet.fi, in awhile you will
get a response with a script that contains information on how to use the
system. The system is very slow, so you might have to wait awhile. Try
also email to ping@anon.penet.fi, just to confirm your anon number. It might
take some hours to process, but it works.
You will then have an account number, this number represents your ID.
Read the info on how to work the anon account, and post your article.
It can be like: "loney guy 25 year, blond, 6' tall, looking for men to bond
with, call me at #555-1127 (the guy's phone no.)", or it could be like "I
want girls for hot phone sex, call ....", or "Call my new BBS for hot
software (ph. no)."
example groups: groups like alt.sex, alt.sex.wanted.
groups like alt.amiga.software and such
groups like forsale or market
groups like alt.fan.(some music group)
#067 NEWS FORGERY. By The Last Viking.
There has been some questions about how to forge news-articles, on this
newsgroup. Well, it isn't too hard, you just have to know a little about
your system and how it works. There are many ways to forge news-articles,
one that is easy is to telnet to port 119 and talk directly to the
news-server.
My news-server is called news.uit.no, so when I want to talk directly to
it I just write:
telnet news.uit.no 119
I will then be communicating directly with my news-server. If I write
'help' then I will get a list of all the commands that I can use. 'post' is
the command I must use to send a news-article. The fine thing about talking
directly to the news-server is that you specify everything that your
news-reader usually specifies.
First you have to specify the header, it could look like this:
Path: midgaard!valhall!odinserv1!eric
Newsgroups: alt.test
Distribution: world
Followup-To:
From: eric@valhall.no (Berserking Viking)
Sender: eric@valhall.no (Berserking Viking)
Organization: Viking haircutters.
Subject: This is a test
Message-ID: <24Dec00fo@midgaard.no>
There is no linefeed at the top, and I just used this header to show you
how it can be done. After you have written this, then you can start writing
your article. The stop by writing a '.' character on a line for itself
(same as email forgeing). Now just write quit to exit the server. The
article will be posted when you have written the .
The most important line in the header is the Message-ID line. The ID in
front of the address must be unique. If it isn't, then everything will hang
or cause failure. I suggest you use a date with some random number.
On most nntp-servers there are limited access. IOW, you can't use other than
your own news-server. It would be hopeless for you to try to telnet into
ours if you are not at Uit. There are some public NNTP servers around in
eg. Finland and Germany. You might want to try those. It is easier to trace
the article back to you if you sent it from your own server.
WARNING! To forge news-articles are illegal. Especially if you are using
someone elses name/ID. Everything you do on the unix system is most likely
audit filed, that means that your sysop can trace back and check what you
have done on the newsserver. If you have done something illegal you are most
likely to loose your accont.
How it can be used: awhile ago, some guy set me in a alt.test trap. So what
I did to revenge this was to enter a foreign NNTP server and then forged a
newsarticle from him to alt.test, misc.test and some other test groups. His
mailbox got full of test articles and he wasn't able to trace it back to me.
He is a bud, so I told him. If he weren't a bud he could have told the
sysop then I would be in deep shit. That was just a warning of how things
might end...
BTW, if you just want to change your username, try writing 'chfn' from the
UNIX prompt. Some system has limited access on that command, but it is worth
a try.
WARNING! Read the alt.revenge FAQ before you do anything stupid on Inet.
#068 EMAIL FLOOD. By The Last Viking.
I just got a cool idea for email flood, just forge an email from a person
account to a mailing-list telling them that you are interested in
participating. After awhile his mailbox will be full of waste and some of
those lists are a bit hard to unsubscribe (as he would have to search
through some documentation first and that's work). Remeber that this will
most likely be traced. If you want to use a script for mailbombing then take
a look at the Avenger's Front Page.
as for how to forge an email, see #065.
#069 EXAM DISTRACTION. By Mark.
On exam days, they lengthen the periods from 50 minutes to 2 hours, and you
are absolutely NOT allowed to go to the bathroom during class on those days
(I dunno...I guess they're paranoid about cheating). So naturally the to
pull is to slip copious amounts of Ex-Lax into your mark's drink while
he's not looking. Needless to say, he'll be a little "distracted" come
test time.
#070 NOISY APARTMENT NEIGHBOURS. By Mark Landers.
Get a cheap plug-in radio and a large cardboard box. Open one end of the
box, put the radio in and tape the open end firmly against the wall next to
their bedroom. Keep the box off the floor (no reason to disturb the people
downstairs). Tune the radio to a station with lots of percussion music
(country-western is great). The radio doesn't have to be very loud, the box
acts as an acoustic coupler to the wall. The bigger the box the better.
Turn the radio on when you get up. Off when you go to sleep. Do this every
day (if anybody asks why just say you're afraid of burglers).
#071 MAIL FLOOD. By The Last Viking, Crystal and D. A. Scocca.
Buy 100 envelopes. Send all envelopes to the mark. Don't use stamps on
them and put nothing in them. Just write their address on the envelope and
put them in a mailer box. Try posting from different locations and
at different time.
The mark (reciver) would have to pay to get the mail that contains nothing.
This doesn't work in the states though..
--
From what I can gather, they aren't supposed to be delivered, but here's my
experience with legitimate postage dues: when you're new to a place, you get
a little brown envelope saying postage due x amount. You then put in your
money, leave it in the box and presto, you get the item. After the carrier
gets to know you and learns that you will pay the postage due, he or she
starts leaving the mail and the little envelope at the same time, especially
in rural or semi-rural areas. The P.O. has probably seen this trick before
though, so send a package full of rocks with a phony return address on it
and $1.25 postage (in the US of course) and make it look legitimate. Better
yet, put the return address on it of a friend or family member of the mark
so he's certain to want the package enough to pay $8 to get it.
--
The word on this got out, and it doesn't work anymore. In theory, the post
office in the U.S. neither delivers nor returns unstamped mail. Even when it
used to work, you didn't have to pay postage on it when it was returned to
you.
Ed> It still works in Norway :)
#072 FARM MANURE. By David Morning.
Why bother with subtlety? A secretary I knew was harassed out of her job by
a new boss who had a habit of groping her. She waited until her boss was
going on holiday, handed in her notice to quit and ordered 30 tonnes of
farm manure for his front lawn. Boss returned from holiday to find stinking
mountain of two week old farm manure burying his entire garden and a demand
for payment for said manure.
In the UK, lots of companies who sell double glazing, fitted kitchens,
bathrooms, bedrooms etc offer a free home visit and quote service. It usually
involves a torturous two hour hard sell grilling. Just phone lots of them
sending them to your mark.
Ed> I am not sure how this will work, maybe the company wants a signature.
Ed> But then again, you might be able to pull it off.
#073 AT A PUBLIC LAUNDRY STORE. By Stephen Boursy.
Fill up all free washers with loads of detergent--remember the old 'I Love
Lucy' show when she was overcome by foam from her washer. It works well.
You could also pour in substance like heavy grease or paint, etc. that would
cause permanant damage although I don't know if the situation warrants it.
Poke holes in the rubber pipes leading to the washers--little ones at first
and then make them progressivley bigger over time.
The other suggestion is to jam the coin insert part of the machine with
bented coins or foreign objects. This can take a very long time to fix and
results in a lot of lost business and frustration.
#074 HARD DISC KILLER. By David K. Bryant.
Using the PC, on the hard drive write:
C:\>debug
- e 100
b8 11 05 bb 10 01 b9 01 00 ba 80 00 cd 13 cd 20 <space between pairs>
00 80 00 02 00 03 00 04 00 05 00 06 00 07 00 08
00 09 00 0a 00 0b 00 0c 00 0d 00 0e 00 0f 00 10 <enter>
- g
C:\>
Flags Track 0 bad.
Upon the next boot the drive is shot.
#075 PLASTIC CUPS ON THE FLOOR. By Werther.
Pick a time when you know the mark is away from his room. Get a few hundred
plastic cups and fill them up with water. Using a plastic card or a keypick,
get into his room and place the cups one-by-one to cover the entire floor
in his room. Spray some shaving cream for sophistication and leave quietly.
#076 TO KILL A TREE. By Harry Conwi.
Fill a bucket or two with hot water and dissolve a few bags of salt in it.
Pour it at the base of the tree. Depending on the tree's strength, you may
have to do this a few times. But it'll drive them nuts trying to figure out
why this tree is slowly dying.
A more obvious method is to strip about six inches of bark froma round
the tree. This prevents either the nutrients produced by the leaves from
getting to the roots for storage or vice versa. But it works and it
works fast...
#077 MACINTOSH. By OJ and CyberKnight.
Does your mark have a Macintosh computer? If he has system 7.5 then he
probably has a program called "Shut Down" in the Apple menu items folder.
Put that in the startup items folder and the computer will shut down every
time he try to start it up.
--
Record a .snd file on your Mac. Something obscene and mastabutory (sp?).
Save it on her computer as her alert sound.
#078 TOWING CARS. By Prime Risk.
Tired of some jerk parking in your reserved space at work or apartment/
townhome? Try this one. Get a valve stem key (check your local discount
store's automotive or bicycle department), loosen the valve stems a little
to flatten the tires. Here's the trick, spread some finely broken glass near
the tires in your parking spot. Now you can call the manager or towing
company to have the car removed. If the mark returns before the tow truck
gets there they will suppose they got flats from the glass they must have
ran over. Remember to flatten at least two tires, most people have one
spare, but few have two.
--
Have them towed out of their own spot! Call the towing company at 3 AM and
act like an extremely tired property manager with an angry tenant yelling in
the background. Ask them to just take care of it and you'll come down to
their office and fill out any paperwork in the morning. They'll probably ask
for a #0 to call you back at, give them a pay phone number and wait for a
bit. If they don't go for the call back stuff, and you really have balls, go
meet the towing company at the spot and sign the owner's name.
#079 ROAST CHICKEN. By Prime Risk.
Place raw chicken in an old plastic dish and hang in the mark's chimney with
thin string. The first time the mark warms up the fireplace down comes
smoldering hot, rotten chicken smashing into the fire and all over the room
(assuming only a screen). Try to place in the chimney during a relative warm
spell during winter. (Yes, everyone should check the flue before starting a
fire, but how many are guilty of not doing it?)
#080 SEX MAGAZINES. By Alistair MacGuines and Dillotex.
Go to a kinko's copies (etc.)--any one of them that has a _LABEL PRINTER_ &
have this doc's office name, address, zip, etc ("borrow" one of the waiting-
room mags & copy label on back) get a few (10?) labels printed out. Then go
to your friendly neighborhood sex shop and buy the same number of mags
"kinky letters"/etc. (nastier the better) put the labels on the sex mags,
and go to the waiting room, grab a couple mags, and when you put them back,
make sure to put the sex mags _under_ the pile.
--
I had a bitch math teacher and my friend and I collaborated on a
pornographic comic strip we called "Peter Penis, Master Detective". The
first one was called "The case of the missing Coke bottles". We'd leave
it laying on her desk when no-one was looking. It drove her absolutely
bat-shit trying to figure out who was doing it.
#081 TROUBLESOME SISTER/BROTHER. By Deacon, Digitar and Robert Goodwin.
Put a letter in your room saying she/he was adopted. Find the name and
adress of an adoption agency. Make the letter formal and put something in
their saying,
Dear (Name of mother and Father),
It has come to our attention that your adopted daughte's
biological mother has a tragic case of *)(*)(* which was not discovered
unitl this date.... etc... etc..
Put it in your room and then see what happens.
Note: I don't mean anything against anyone who is adopted.
--
When you come home, one thing you can do while she's out of the house for
awhile, is to turn everything around. That is, everything that faces the
wall will face the other way. Tack some of the stuff to the ceiling. Take
her drawers of stuff, and mix them around. Take her clothes, and make it
look like she's running away from home, and tell your mom and dad about
it. Put her prized possessions somewhere else, and claim that you have
the feeling that she's going to commit suicide.
--
If she is young, her acceptance with her peers is of prime importance. Do
something to embarass her in front of her friends. Ruin her reputation, like
running around the cafeteria at her school asking for he because "she forgot
to take her lunch today". Dress geeky. Smell. Make sure it's a LARGE paper
grocery bag with her name written (first AND last) on the side. Ask as many
random people as possible. She'll choke.
#082 BLOCKING A DOOR WITH COINS. By Kenneth Mayer.
Push on the top of the door and insert a stack (usually 2 or 3 is enough)
of coins between the door and the jamb stop. Now push a bit harder on
the bottom of the door and insert a stack of coins between the door and
the jamb stop at the bottom. This actually bends the door and puts an
incredible amount of pressure on the latch. It is impossible to turn the
knob to open the door.
If you happen to be the mark and want to escape, you need to apply some
torque to the doorknob and kick the door near the latch VERY HARD. This
momentarily flexes the door and relieves the pressure on the latch,
allowing it to move.
This scheme works best with solid-core wooden doors and steel jambs, which
are commonly used in college dormatories.
#083 A TOOTHBRUSH UP THE ASS. By William Barker.
Someone came into their hotel room while they were gone and got some serious
non-destructive revenge. They didn't know it until they got home and
developed their film. Among thier lovely pictures of sunsets & palm trees
was one with a close-up of two big hairy asses (balls a dangling). No big
deal, you might say. However, the kicker was that sticking out of the
assholes were the handles of each of thier toothbrushes!
#084 CRICKETS. By ROCO1
My favorite office revenge is releasing a bag of crickets late in the after-
noon. Crickets are cheap and readily available at your local petshop. When
released, they happily assist you by seeking dark hiding locations. About an
hour later, they express their gratitude for being saved from some pet snake
by performing a cricket symphony.
#085 DONATIONS. By ROCO1.
Pledge money under the mark's name and business to every charity, religious
group, and political action possible. Examples are the United Way,
Girlscouts, Jerry Lewis's favorite, NRA, Republican and Democratic parties,
and every Sunday morning preacher. All the above will then harass him for
payment. He will fell like a real loser when he refuses to pay.
If your mark wants to spend some bucks, have company Tee-shirts made up
with a bogus logo and his office telephone number. Send them as a
donation to a local homeless shelter under his name. Real funny when
winos lay wasted on the side walk his these shirts.
#086 SNOTTY WOMEN. By Dillotex.
Another friend sent a letter to a snooty women's parents which was actually
a model's release form asking the parents to sign the release for the
lingerie photos she modeled for you.
Of course the old reliable: Get (fake) an envelope and letterhead from a
local clinic and send her parents a letter letting her know that the a)
pregnancy, b)AIDS, c)VD, etc tests turned out negative (or positive if you
really want to do a trip on her).
Variation: call and tell her mother/father that in order to comply with the
new state law, you must notify them of their daughter's intention to get an
abortion. Could they please come down to the XXXXX clinic and sign some
forms?
#087 EX. GIRL-FRIEND. By Rob Verzera.
Ed> The author of this article heard this on a late night show. This one is
Ed> more for the story in itself. People usually check their stuff before
Ed> they leave for a longer trip, but then again, you might be lucky...
This guy caught his girlfriend in bed w/ another guy one day. He then went
to an adult-store and bought a huge dildo. After that he went home and
wrapped it about 2 roles of aluminium foil until it was the size of a brick.
He then took some black tape and put some tape around it. He had the key to
her apartment so one day before she was going on a trip he snuck into he
house and burried it in her carry on bag. He went down to that airport the
next day to watch the fun.
The suitecase went through the X-ray and was stopped. All sorts of guards
were called over to look at the package they then made her open the suitcase
and take out the foil brick. Some big seargent guy came over and started
unwrapping the thing until her found the dildo. I guess they gave it back to
her and let her go back on her way.
#088 REVENGE ON A TEACHER. By Scott Little.
Go to her homeroom class (if that's how your school works) and put something
embarasing in her desk (think about it - we once put a condom on a teachers
desk, blown up. Be a bit more severe). When the teachers change, the new
teacher will come in and most likely find the 'object'.
#089 JELLO. By ROCO1.
For schools located in cooler climates this trick works wonders. Boil some
jello, let cool but not solidify, pour on any tile (bathroom, doomroom floor) at night. Morning result - thin layer of jello very
difficult to remove even with a scrapper.
#090 THE DOLLAR BILL. By BrianN3UKG.
One thing that I have done, that gets a hetrosexual friend good, is to take
dollar bills and write a little message along the edge. I wrote a message
that said "Men seeking men call Joe Daniels at (301) 428-3547". I tried this
one mark, and it is great to hear him talk about the faggit that called him
last night and wonder how he got his number.
#091 BLUE PLATE SPECIAL. By Richard Snow.
Load a paper plate with cottage cheese or another milk product that spoils
nicely. Put another paper plate on top of it and seal-tape them well. Now,
take the plates and hide them a place where you'r mark won't find them until
a long time has gone, by then it will be all molded and disgusting.
#092 CALL GIRL CARPET BOMB. By Patrick Jost.
This technique is a courtesy of a guy I met at a tireshop. Most large cities
have a paper that has a section called something like "adult services" which
is nothing more than ads for prostitutes; if you can't find this paper, look
in the yellow pages under massage or escort. Most of them use answering
services, voicemail, or beepers.
Call a few of them, leave the name and # of someone you want to mess with.
This works best if someone else might answer the phone, but it also works
well enough if the person answers their own phone. In any case, they'll
start to get some interesting calls. To REALLY make this effective, you need
to call enough of them to make sure that your victim gets LOTS of calls.
When this was done at the tire shop...sure enough, the phone would ring,
they would shout "Hey, Phil, a call on the main line"; Phil (or whatever his
name was) would come out to the counter and say "huh? what? me? no, uh, I
didn't...wow, no, sorry" and hang up. He got a few of these calls, I'm sure
he wondered what was going on...
#093 PRANK CALLERS. By Richard Payne, Dan Sutton and Israel Silverman.
When we had a bunch of kids calling and hanging up, making stupid noises,
etc.,etc. (always around the same time after school got out), it usually was
the same time my 2 year-old went for a nap. Of course the calls woke her up.
It wasn't my house so I was limited to what I could do about it. Amongst the
piles of toys I spotted a whistle. Just a regular, plastic, cheap-o one.
Hmmm,I thought. Considering my daughter was up anyway, I waited for the next
call. It came and so did the crap on the other end. I took a deep breath,
and blew!('til all the air in my lungs was gone) Then I listened, I swear I
could hear them shaking their heads on the other end. Later there was this
woman who'd gotten our number on her phone bill for about 25 calls, she
called me, and I explained the prank calls to her; she was pissed.
--
One night a few years ago I had a couple of teen agers calling repeatedly.
When they called at about 11:00 pm and started their speil, I said...
"Hold on a second. I have a caller ID hooked into my computer, and now I
know where you are calling from. So you had better run to all your doors and
lock them. Then you better turn on all your lights, and by the way stay away
from the windows because I am coming over there tonight." The next morning
they called me back and apologized !
--
One thing to do is talk softly for a few seconds, so that he cups the phone
in his ear. Then blast.
#094 THE BANK BOX. By The Cheshire Cat.
My personal favorite is to get a safe deposit box at the branch of the bank
that fucked you over (which is pretty much ANY bank in the world. It's how
they make their money, but that's another story). Anyways, get the box, a
small one will do and put several fish in it, then walk away.
After a few days, you can imagine what that place will smell like. Of
course, the bank will have yer name and number and beg you to remove it.
Remind them of the cash that was stolen and try to negotiate with them.
Eventually, they CAN open the box without yer permission, but it takes a
while.
Ed> The sitution above were that the bank had stolen money from the one
Ed> seeking revenge.
#095 DRIVEBY PAINT-BOMB BOMBARDMENT. By The Last Viking and Andrew Shore.
A driveby paint-bomb bombardment; You simply fill up a ballon with paint
close it and then you can drive by the place and throw the paintballon at
the mark's house. The smart thing about this revenge is that you can throw
the ballon over a fence, you don't have to spend a long time at the scenary
and it is a heck of a job to remove the paint.
--
You will probably break at least one balloon all over yourself in the
process. Get one of those super soaker water guns loaded with paint or brake
fliud (will that melt the plastic?), or use a wrist rocket and marbles to
star some windshields.
Ed> The revenge was originally aimed at a local car dealer.
#096 BAD SERVICE AT RESTURANTS. By Der Jeff and The Last Viking.
If McDonald's, Wendy's, BK or some other fast-food restaurant has annoyed
you in some way, return there at night with a bullhorn/megaphone and
crouch down outside in the bushes behind the talk-box in the drive-thru
lane. When someone pulls up to place their order, be as rude as possible
while impersonating the clerk (shout profanities, scream, burp etc.).
This will hurt the restaurant's business as well as lead to numerous
complaints from unsuspecting customers.
Write a letter to the shop's manager, saying that you were in the drive-thru
on that particular night and were subjected to this verbal abuse, and "as a
frequent customer, I no longer feel welcome." This might lead to the manager
sending you some coupons for free food.
--
Flashing! Yeah, you heard right. Some people here got slightly irritated by
the service on one of our resturant. The next day they drove up to the
window of the resturant, then one of the guys stuck his bare ass out of the
window. The next they they'd gotten curtains up.
#097 ALARM CLOCK. By The Last Viking.
I once had an alarm clock that made it sound like WWIII was breaking loose
everythime it rang. That didn't sit well with me, because I am one of those
light sleepers (let's just say it was a Christmas present that I wasn't
quite too happy with) At the same time I had this guy in class who annoyed
the shit out of me everyday at the university. I saw an oportunity to get
rid of the alarm bell.
Before a big lecture I found his bag unattented (the looser was probably out
smoking) I sat the alarm for about 30 minutes into the lecture. Then I
dropped the clock into one of the pockets of his bag. The lecture started
and there were about 150-160 people in the room, suddenly the boring lecture
was interrupted by the ringing of the alarm clock. Geez, did he get some
ugly looks..
#098 SCREWING UP A CD. By Stephen J. Weil.
If you want to screw up a CD without just smahing it, then try just put it
into the microwave. About 4 seconds should do the trick. It looks kind of
neat too.
#099 TO HUMILIATE A STOREWORKER. Elaine Ford.
Hire a friend (male) to come in the store where your mark work, at the
busiest time of the day. Have him buy one item...condoms. Have him get in
your friends line. During checkout, have him say loudly: "I had a great time
last night (insert jerks name here) honey. Are these the kind you wanted me
to pick up for later?" If he's not a checker or a bagger, ask a clerk if
they could just "call the stud he picked up last nite" over the microphone.
#100 FUCKING UP A COMPUTER ACCOUNT. By The Last Viking.
If your mark has forgot to logout or if you have the password to his
internet account, then you have a lot of things you can do to fuck up his
life.
First of all, upload a lot of illegal software to a public-domain ftp site.
This will invoke reactions from the sysop at that site.
Post many news articles to newsgroups like alt.test,mist.test etc. The mark
will get auto replies from the servers that has these groups in the comming
days.
Post an article to rec.pets.cats, telling them how much you enjoy to driver
over cats. Also post insulting articles to similar groups, like talk.environ-
ment and such. If this is going to have an effect, then the groups you are
posting to must be only the serious ones. You can also post gif/jpg pictures
to serious newsgroups. Cross post on many different newsgroups and post
pictures that are big and needs to be posted in many parts. Be obnoxious or
post radical meaning (support of child abuse etc.) or you can simply offer
people green cards or another product. You can also use the Greek program
that can be found on WWW (Look in the header of this script)
Email his sysadm, tell him that eg. you're ending your studies and that you
don't need the account anymore. If he's on AOL or NetCom, tell the adm. that
you're selling your PC.
If you have any hacker-scripts/programs, then use them. Try to break in
somewhere or run programs like Cracker.
Send threatening to people. Tell them you're going to kill them, or that you
are dreaming of doing so. Maybe you can find a secondary mark that you've
wanted to get revenge on for a long time. I would not advice sending one to
the president of US, but I know your mark would be in deep shit if you did.
Make a bad news forgery. Try to change just a few things like the from line,
then have a sender line that give the mark's name away. Use root's account
on the From: line. (See #067).
Overwrite the quota on the account (If that's possible). Then write
chmod -R 000 * (makes everything write and read protected). To flood the
account, you can either download stuff from a ftp site or you can use the
disc-eater program found on WWW. (http://www.cs.uit.no/~paalde/Revenge/)
Flood a mailinglist or subscribe to one. The mark will then have to search
through documentation to find how to unsubscribe. If you flood a
mailinglist, then I can guarantee there will be trouble.
But remember one thing, if you're gonna do any of this, then I advice you to
NOT telnet to the account from your own account. Yet, if you do have to
telnet to the account, I suggest you find an open telnet terminal (often
there are terminals with telnet access where you can telnet out without
writing your own password and username). I advice you to be careful about
using modem to logon to the account. The best thing is if you can logon to a
terminal at school, then play for awhile, then get the hell out of there.
WARNING! Read the alt.revenge FAQ before you do anything stupid on Inet.
#101 LOST KEYS. By Steve Davis.
Go to a few locksmiths and collect old dead keys, ones they have no use for.
Next buy the same number of key tags, the ones you write a name or whatever
on. Write the name of the target, their phone number and "$10 reward" on
each tag. Now drop a key in the post office, at the bank, in the street etc.
The more the merrier.
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