💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › anarchy › bank captured on 2023-01-29 at 05:29:58.
⬅️ Previous capture (2020-10-31)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=------------------------------------=
= THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE FALCON =
= PRESENTS: =
= =
= HOW TO RIP OFF YOUR LOCAL BANK =
=------------------------------------=
= WRITTEN BY: CONAN THE BARBARIAN =
=------------------------------------=
1] IF YOU HAVE A SAVINGS ACCOUNT GO
TO STEP 2. IF NOT, THEN OPEN ONE
AT A LOCAL BANK, AND DEPOSIT AT
LEAST $100.
2] FIRST LIE TO YOUR PARENTS SAYING
SOMETHING LIKE "MOM, I'M GOING TO
GO BUY MYSELF A NEW DISK DRIVE".
MOM SAYS "WELL, HOW MUCH DOES IT
COST?". YOU REPLY "OH I CAN GET ONE
FOR ABOUT $100." MAKE SURE YOU
ALWAYS DEDUCT ABOUT 1/2 OF THE
ORIGINAL PRICE WHEN TELLING THE
COST TO YOUR PARENTS.
3] GO TO YOUR BANK AND WITHDRAW THE
MONEY (THE REAL AMOUNT NEEDED).
THE LITTLE LADY WILL MARK IN YOUR
BANK BOOK UNDER "WITHDRAWALS" HOW
MUCH YOU WITHDREW..SHE WILL DATE IT
AND SIGN HER INITIALS.. GO SPEND
THE MONEY ON WHATEVER YOU SAID
YOU WERE GOING TO BUY...
4] NOW TAKE YOUR BANK BOOK AND FIND
WHERE THE BITCH RECORDED YOUR
WITHDRAWAL...TAKE A PEN
OF THE SAME COLOR AND CHANGE
THE AMOUNT TO WHATEVER YOU TOLD
YOUR PARENTS HOW MUCH YOU PLANNED
ON SPENDING.
-> MAKE IT LOOK RATHER SLOPPY <-
5] NOW COMPLAIN TO YOUR PARENTS AND
SHOW THEM THE RECORDED AMOUNT.
MAKE SURE YOU BURN YOUR RECIEPT
BEFORE DOING THIS. MOM SHOULD
REMEMBER THE AMOUNT (LIE) YOU
TOLD HER YOU WERE GOING TO SPEND.
6] GET YOUR PARENTS TO GO TO YOUR
BANK WITH YOU AND RAISE HELL!!
NOTE: SOME BANKS HAVE CODES FOR
WHEN A TELLER MAKES AN ERROR SHE
WILL MARK A CERTAIN CODE IN THE
BOOK..IF THIS HAPPENS SIMPLY STATE
THAT SHE MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE!
7] WHEN THE BANK ASKS TO SEE YOUR
RECEIPT, TELL THEM YOU LOST IT.
IF THEY PURSUE THE MATTER FURTHER
AND ATTEMPT TO CONTACT THE PLACE
THAT YOU BOUGHT YOUR DRIVE FROM,
TELL THEM THAT YOU OBTAINED IT
THROUGH THE MAIL FROM SOMEONE YOU
MET ON A COMPUTER BULLETIN BOARD
SYSTEM...TELL THEM YOU DO NOT KNOW
THE PERSONS NUMBER OR ANYTHING
ABOUT THEM..EXCEPT THAT YOU SENT
THE MONEY TO: "GIVE THEM THE
ADDRESS OF A FELLOW PIRATE FRIEND
WHO WILL LIE FOR YOU....
8] THE BANK > WILL < APOLIGIZE AND
REFUND YOU YOUR MONEY! IF THEY
DON'T TELL THEM YOU ARE OPENING
A NEW ACCOUNT AT A DIFFERENT BANK
AND YOU ARE CONTACTING YOUR LAWYER.
IF THEY STILL DO NOT REFUND YOU
THEN YOU HAD BETTER FIND A FILE
ON "HOW TO BLOW UP A BANK".
9] WARNING!! DO THIS ONCE IN A LIFE-
TIME...IF IT BECOMES A PART OF
YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE THEN PEOPLE
WILL BECOME SUSPICOUS!...
=-------------------------------------=
CALL:
THE BARBARIAN'S KEEP AE
[619-561-9430]
'STYGIA'
THE FRONT LINE AE
[714-963-5752]
'COMBAT'
=-------------------------------------=