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First look at the intros, and I gotta say, they're actually great.
There are so many crabs (there's a joke in there somewhere, I know it).
I feel like Genevieve is setting herself up for failure by going all-in on Justin. Diversify girly.
New Cast member:
- Victoria: In on Justin. That makes 4? Maybe 5? 'Erbody wants Justin still.
Jesse seems so comfortable in Paradise, leaning into the football coach shtick hard this season.
We're on day two and everyone's talking about the "couples" and "strong relationships". Wild.
If Genevieve makes it through this rose ceremony, I don't know how she'll make it week-to-week if she's already spiralling. Again, this is day 2!
- She's making Justin so uncomfortable, don't see that relationship going anywhere.
- Genevieve is really struggling with Justin out on his date with Victoria.
Casey and Michael having a "geriatric millennial" bro-down on the beach, so cute.
Jacob is so pure, so himbo.
Michael's whole thing is being a single-dad. And he's talking about the real concerns of dating with a son, and it's all very heartfelt. BUT, why is he going about finding "the one" on reality television?!?! There has to be a better way.
- He's talking about his dead wife, Sierra and him are crying, so weird, because again, it's fucking day two!
I feel like Logan is brewing trouble just like he did during Gabby/Rachel season.
- He's playing the game, which I respect, but because it's Logan I'm definitely suspicious.
Hailey is so bubbly and sweet, definitely a fave so far. She deserves better than Logan.
I nominate Jacob to co-host with Jesse. Starting the change.org petition now.
Sierra is missing a pinky!!!! WHAT!!!!!!
Logan and Shanae date:
- This date is a million times better than the dates on the bachelor/bachelorette mainline seasons.
- Logan comparing his experience on the bachelorette to literally anyone else is ridiculous.
- Did Shanae watch any of Gabby and Rachel's season? How can she trust him so deeply on day 2?
The girls find a suitcase with Salley written on it. They proceed to open this person's bag and scatter their belongings all over the room and straight-up take her vibrator. That's some fucked up behaviour.
And apparently Salley is _another_ woman interested in Justin??? Am I missing something, why are all these women coming in with their eyes fixed on Justin.
Wells's Storytime with the reenactment is excellent.
- This story is actually insane.
- The producer sits in the trunk for 4 hours???
- Salley definitely isn't showing up, calling it now.
Kira stoking the flames of Genevieve's inferno of insecurity is so shady, I love it.
- Then we cut to Kira leaving for the boom-boom room to use Salley's vibrator. Kira's here for one things and one thing only: to tear-up the boom-boom room with anything or anyone.
Justin would be dodging a bullet if he cuts Genevieve loose at this point in my opinion.
Romeo choppin' it up with Brittany, Brittany is fully on Jill's side, and Romeo is struggling hard.
- And being super weird.
- He's really not smooth AT ALL.
- Romeo needs to play the long game. He's within his right to do all this gamesmanship, but just play it smooth my guy!
Why is he crying??? I'm so confused by everyone's emotional reactions this season. The emotional chaos is off the charts.
They stuck Jesse back in a suit. Sad. #JesseDeservesToBeComfortable
Romeo has no game, I've kind of turned on him. He's having a full-on breakdown, it's hard to watch.
Jacob is nailing bachelor in paradise. Romeo, take fucking notes my guy.
Victoria and Justin have way better chemistry than Justin and Genevieve.
I think Victoria might just have chemistry with everyone.
Has rose-rejection always been a thing on the bachelor or is this a creation of the Gabby/Rachel season?
Rose ceremony eliminations:
- Kira
- Hunter
- Hailey (this one hurt the most honestly)
Justin hitching his wagon to Genevieve is a recipe for chaos and drama.
New Cast:
- Aron & James: Tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum
Genevieve is such a blatant hypocrite, you love to see it.
- Also, she's so all over the place. Maybe it's the edit, but her reasoning and justification for her actions doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
Aron really knows how to play the game at this point.
Also, Jacob holding a whole pineapple by the stem and tearing into it was awesome.
Aron/James Genevieve/Shanae Double-Date:
- Another date infinitely better than mainline show dates because they just get to do fun and normal things.
- Genevieve kissing Aaron is just the cherry on top of the "Genevieve is a mess" sundae.
The ultimate truth of paradise is that dates create chemistry between almost anyone regardless of their "relationship" on the resort.
- And we're talking relationships that are less than 48 hours old.
Bachelor "Royalty" Ashley and Jared:
- Met on paradise, got engaged, still together, had a baby.
- They chose to come to the beach together to have some "alone time" and dispense advice and wisdom to all the hapless contestants on the beach
New Cast:
- RODNEY!!!!!!!
Rodney's such a charmer, impossible not to like him.
Andrew and Teddi breaking up sucked, hate seeing Andrew hurt.
Wow, Teddi just left?!
- All the women really liked Teddi and they're absolutely shocked she left without a word.
- Also blindsided Rodney who was ready to take her out on a date. What a welcome that is.
Overall, I see some trouble brewing on the island. Excited to see which powder-keg relationship blows-up first.