💾 Archived View for midnight.pub › posts › 1155 captured on 2023-01-29 at 03:04:18. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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I never dream. Usually.
On average, I have a dream a month, and it's been like that since I was a little kid. When I was very, very young, I had reoccurring dream almost every night, but this isn't about that.
The things that increase likelihood of a dream include sleeping in new places, drinking coffee late at night, and emotional distress, and, well, there's been a bit of all of that lately.
The first dream had some much larger plot, which I no longer remember, but it led me to hanging out in a hot city in the summer, watching a tall dark-skinned man in gold costume jewelry bless a couple pedestrians, like he was Jesus. I remember thinking he was just some homeless guy, but got the feeling he was good-spirited. He came over to me and asked "You a poet?" I was surprised, and wondered how he knew, and realized I hadn't strongly identified with being a poet until that moment. NYC Comic Con also happened to be a few days later, and I was shocked to see a man dressed as a pharaoh at the subway station, gold costume and all. No clue what to make of it. He took some photos with a kid on the platform, and I got a shot of him on my film camera ascending the stairs, gold cape blown out behind him.
The second was also in the midst of some larger thing, but it was this- a boy at a crowded table calling my name and looking completely delighted to see me. I clasped his hand and we both grinned. He had curly brown hair, a red sweater. He struck me as maybe 18. Everyone at the table, including him, seemed a lot like the prep school boys I grew up around, people who hadn't been anywhere near my life since I moved away. Definitely not like anyone I know now, and I'm not sure I could even explain those people to them. I felt genuine acceptance and relief and love. He reminded me a lot of one of my favorite book characters. And, I guess, the confident happiness to see me was a lot like how Redacted used to be. But it wasn't him. I said something like "I ought to be seeing you around more". When I woke up I was sad, and I really felt it. It seems like I've been experiencing emotions more strongly in dreams, the way you suspect you felt emotions as a child. I missed him a lot.
I've been having more dreams recently too, and yeah, likely related to coffee and stress. It's usually about my brother, when we were kids and the playground games we used to play together. We used to be quite close, but there was a major falling out maybe a year ago between him and the family (which I think I might have exacerbated…) and we haven't spoken since. No one knows where he is, and I fear he might be in trouble or might be a danger to himself. I guess I think about him often these days, and have unresolved feelings of guilt/anger/sympathy towards him. I miss him a lot though, and he's featured in my last few dreams as of late.
I very rarely have a dream, too. I suspect it's the electromagnetic interference.