💾 Archived View for lucy.lt › logs › 210627.gmi captured on 2022-07-16 at 16:28:28. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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So main part of the weekend has passed, I been sad most of the time, and got too many beers I guess. I would add though that I met this one girl on Discord recently and I really like her so far. There is no way I could tell her that though, maybe after some time when I will know her for longer. She likes some of the same games, has good sense of humor and has very nice voice. Most likely way out of my league, but I can dream I guess.
Girls basically are on my mind and I wish I could get some hug or smth, ech. Life is hard and good things don't happen.
Additionally I was a bit stressed out about my Minecraft server I run recently. I was promising myself and others to add some cool plugins to make it all ready to be big server: no cheats, no grief, etc. It causes a lot of stress however, cause I fail to set up things fast. I forgot some of server management, it's been long time so plugins have been replaced with others ones with different names and stuff and also my mind goes away thinking about smth like I usually do. Then again my loneliness and thoughs of some girl distracts me. I won't be able to stop this until I will finally get some gf(or not).
The best thing I could think of right now is to minimize work on that server, avoid breaking things, don't promise that is hard to deliver and just let it be survival server. Also I should play survival myself on it too. I don't feel satisfied with a server, I don't expect to be called god or smth, but I thought I would get some more satisfaction and nice word from players for server I made. I feel sad that even if my server will be flawless and popular, I am merely an admin/owner. Not a friend nor a buddy to play together with. I don't know if I will find a lot of fun to play survival on it cause I will have to play alone. I might find sometime to invite to play together, if it is a guy, but for a chance to play with some girl together I will say chance is too low to consider. Thoughts about it at best just eats away my sanity.
Server makes players happy so be it, I am glad they like it and can play and hangout together, for me though I just wish I could find smth to be happy about during something. If I will continue to talk to that girl, it might be it, if she decides to abandon me then I will have to look into smth else to find a comfort.
Little too much rambling by me, but yea.