💾 Archived View for idi.flounder.online › journal.gmi captured on 2022-07-16 at 14:34:33. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-11)
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i just keep on Livin It Up
got covid and couldnt go on my trip to seattle. big bummer!!!!
playing in a show monday, excited.
feeling Anxiety, fears of being disliked … probably my most common anxiety when ya get down to the core of it.
mere put a cat door in that goes out to our balcony and it’s really cute to see our cat use it
still playing ace attorney and reading blindsight by peter watts :0 the Great Ace Attorney right now to be specific
generally i am pretty bad at keeping a journal.
practicing keyboard to play in my partner's very cool band mold gold
about to go to seattle to see my "pa" and my stepmom and little brother, they are all cool
feelin like i am having a lot of emotions but also feel more comfortable these days riding "the wave of emotions", knowing i will be fine. i think therapy has helped with that. therapy is cool
feel like i am on the verge of a lot of things...
oh, and
1. i have been playing the ace attorney games and they're really good, i played some as a kid but i think they hold up in most respects
2. reading "blindsight" by peter watts. it's interesting so far!
time passes SO quickly.
had a fun time hanging out with my fam and also mere's mom yesterday. i went bowling and discovered i forgot how to bowl.
work has become a slog lately. my boss seems to have kinda lost control of what's going on.
jammed with friends last night, it was really fun
playing in a work softball game tonight against the st louis zoo. i don't really want to but i guess i will do it,,, anyway. it'll probably be fun
my mind is gel
at work.
my job is weird. definitely the best job i've had, but probably the most work i've ever done for a job.
here's all the jobs i've done:
1. "database tester" at wash u (we didnt really do anything)
2. "merchandiser" for a greenhouse
3. driver for pizza hut
4. ACT tutor at a tutoring company
5. non-barista at starbucks
6. Writing As Critical Thinking instructor during grad school
7. science summer camp teacher
8. "annual fund officer" at truman state
9. "membership supervisor" at the mo botanical garden
driving for pizza hut was fun; starbucks was probably the worst job.
time passes so fast.
i finished rereading 20th Century Boys. i want to reread Billy Bat but they never put it out in english and i don’t really wanna read it online
riding back home from my moms with mere, ~5 hour drive. my dog got to hang out with his brother and the other dogs, he had a good time
home today.
just went shopping and spent too much money.
trying to get back into making music as i have had a fairly long hiatus from getting anything done on that end. "trying" meaning i have thought about it but haven't actually done anything lol
but i AM doing a lot better on reading than i have been, which is cool
mere and i are probably going to my moms this weekend
worked long hours today.
haven't had a dream i remember in a while
reading the book "ringworld"
both my pets (yellow lab and tortoiseshell cat) are asleep in front of me
there's a guy who does "let's plays" online, who has a rather small following, who i have watched pretty much religiously since i was ~12. he uploads three youtube videos a day. he is french-canadian and has only once shown his face on camera
i went to a show last night. we talked to some friends about flounder at one point. we said it was cool
the password i use for flounder has been compromised for like two years now but i keep using it places
working a festival at work but there's big rain so nothing is happening
i had a fun night walking around with mere yesterday
i had caffeine today after four(?) days without it. the goal is to stop drinking it enough that it works more powerfully on me a ha
i finished my book. it was OK, one of those "classic slogs" that has a lot of interesting ideas but also feels extremely outdated (it was A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man). Now I'm reading 20th Century Boys again which is interesting as well. I feel like if I read Billy Bat again I would like it a lot better than I did the first time - like I understand Urasawa's writing style better and can appreciate it in a different way?
I have it in my head to read Eat Pray Love. I put it on hold at the library. I think it will help me understand something I don't understand, like... a mindset. liberalism?
last night i saw a show. my wonderful partner moldgoldtwotwotwo played in it, as well as po mia, rat bath, and big step. they were all good and it was a fun time. i drank three beers which allowed me to vibe pretty good. today i suffer the consequences by being mildly annoyed slightly faster.
today is the start of my attempt to do two weeks without playing video games/too much social media. i have been trying to go one week on, one week off lately but i just did two weeks on so now i have to do two weeks off. which means my playthrough of ace attorney dual destinies is put on pause at the beginning of the fourth case but on the flip side i will Finish My Book.
i woke up today and ate a peanut butter sandwich which i eat most mornings. i have lately been eating more jelly with my peanut butter. the jelly says "go texan" on the cap (bottle top? don't remember what that's called) EDIT: lid?. i don't know what "go texan" means. i'm afraid that if i constantly look things up/find things out i will spend all my time looking things up and no time experiencing the world, so i won't look up what "go texan" means.
looking things up = learning = control, which has pros and cons. my dog knows nothing and is happy. we won't ever know /everything/, which means we basically know nothing, so we're predisposed to be happy too. sadness comes from expecting you do or will eventually know everything. maybe?
now i'm at work!