💾 Archived View for midnight.pub › posts › 203 captured on 2022-07-16 at 16:18:54. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2021-12-03)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
THIS PAGE LEFT INTENTIONALLY BLANK
Preservation opposes venture.
I'm not easily motivated "by design", I think. Self–oriented perfectionism prevents me from taking up many projects (or following through with them) out of fear of failure and/or ridicule. It's a difficult trait to live with, let me tell you. But it has gotten worse over the past year. Maybe because of a lack of encounters with inspiring people there is just not enough drive to do interesting things myself. Burnout at work probably plays a significant role as well. This one seems to be more serious and something I need to think deeper about.
I have so many ideas for projects lately and have not touched my memoir. I'm trying so hard to get back to it, but good old perfectionism demands new projects. I suppose the answer is to do both!
I've experienced something similar. The motivations that have flickered were never social, for me -- or at least never directly social. But in their place I find myself better able to tolerate necessities of adult living, which has enabled vast improvements to my life. I'm sure there's a way to talk about that that makes it a sad thing, but it's been such a relief.