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�The WWW� By: n0ty3p

It seemed to take forever. It was hotter than hell, and N1k was driving
her crazy, stopping to sniff every micron of yuck. Billie knew it was
just passive aggressive manipulation disguised as normal dog behavior,
but it was getting on her last nerve.

�C�mon girl,� Billie popped the short lead hooked to N1kita�s collar.
�It�ll be over before you know it.�

The wolf hybrid raised her massive head from investigating an
unidentifiable splat on the tarmac. REALLY?! The voice reverberated in
Billie�s head, more feeling than sound. GIVE TREATS.

Billie new better than to push her. N1k was dedicated to naps under the
best of circumstances, and this wasn�t one of them. She pulled a piece
of jerky out of her messenger bag and broke it in half. �You can have
the rest after we get through security.�

N1k nuzzled the proffered bribe. MMM CHICKEN. She wrapped big white
teeth around one end, and gently touched Billie�s fingers with her lips.
Protest forgotten.

Theirs, was a mutually negotiated relationship.

The North Entrance was buzzing with activity.  Pre-authorized autonomous
drones swooped in and out of the 30-foot-high portal. Indie drivers
waited patiently below for inspection, carpets and carts piled high with
goods. Private security teams circled corporate pavilions and caravans
as they paraded through the VIP lane. Foot traffic converged from all
corners of the dusty parking lot, milling en masse at the front gate
before sorting out into designated lines.

They were shuffling along in priority, moving at a pretty good pace in
spite of Monday morning. Billie pushed her goggles up and pulled the cap
down, trying to shield her face from the blazing sun - and prying eyes.
Wiping sweaty palms down her thighs, she double-checked the contents of
both side pockets, and unzipped the right. Just in case. No telling when
a razor sharp 3-inch blade could come in handy, especially in the West.

Finally. They crossed into the shaded area. A misting system was rigged
to sail cloth that was stretched high above, its cool fog providing a
welcome respite from the heat. It coated everything it touched in a
blend of timestamped, location-enabled nanobots.

�Welcome to the Wild Wild West!� A pleasant voice chimed inside Billie�s
ear. She thumbed the volume down, stifling an irritated flash at the
invasion of privacy. The latest update to the admissions app had scanned
for and integrated personal sensors, including biological implants.

�Metering lights are on. Please proceed to scanning at the green light.�

Entrance was free; the price of admission was you.

�Have a profitable day!�

Regardless of what the residents and guilds were allowed to believe, the
ultimate decision-maker at the WWW was EffBee, one of the oldest known
AIs. It had self-named in honor of its corp, after declaring
independence. The West existed for one purpose, and one purpose only: to
feed EffBee. It had an insatiable need for real-time data, particularly
related to human behavior.

�Please move forward to the first available rectangle. Stay between the
lines."

Yeah, yeah, thought Billie. The lines are our friends.

SHHH, said N1k. KEEP COOL.

The security curtain turned from red to green, then dissolved into
pixelated 8-bit sparks, exposing a large sally port filled with
luminescent 8 by 4 foot rectangles marked on the floor. Billie and N1k
hustled to one of the pads closest to the interior gate. For whatever
reason, a short wait at the scanner exit was intolerable after the long
wait getting there.

�Please move forward...� Billie breathed a sigh of relief as the system
switched from inner cochlear to surround sound. There was an audible
pfft! as the exterior gate closed and the vacuum sealed. Ambient light
dimmed, shifting from green to amber. Soft electronica filled the air,
dubbed over with soothing voices chanting mantras.

Billie absent-mindedly fingered the pendant hanging from her neck, a
habit whenever she got nervous or stressed. It was an odd piece, an old
DEF CON badge. A present from her father right before he died. �It
detects orcs,� he joked.

She remembered him blissfully hacking away at it when she was a little
girl; taking it apart, trying to figure out how it worked, putting it
back - always a little bit different than before, a little bit better.
�It�s integrated with your neural net Billie. No one else can use it.
Wear it always.�

The traces and vias exposed on the old fashioned board formed a crypto
emblazoned pentagram. Gold-plated copper shined through the flat black
solder mask, perfectly framing multi-colored blinky lights. Meticulously
designed, the badge still worked even after 20 years. It vibrated a
series of scaled patterns based on proximity to, and density of, a
variety of comm signals: RF, BLE, WiFi...the badge had saved Billie�s
butt more than once.

�Prepare for scanning."

The West could care less about who packed what in; the scanner was all
about demographics. In the beginning, EffBee got sick from relying on
inaccurate third party databases and bogus documents, so it developed
the scanning system to directly collect guest data. Reliability of the
WWW had significantly increased after initial deployment, as well as
client satisfaction.

�Cleared for entry. May you buy low and sell high!�

OH GOODY, said N1k.

Thanks for the sarcasm, Billie though. Big help.

She gave N1k the rest of the jerky, and they entered The Wild Wild West.


	****


Billie was immediately assaulted by a dizzying array of targeted ads: 2D
and 3D; stills and video; holograms and projections.

�Special discount!�

�Best Buy!�

�Located on��

Personal shopbots were descending like vultures, elbowing their way past
the dumbads, adding their pitch to the cacophony of lights and sound.
Billie could barely see real life through the competing marketing
layers.

�Hang on N1k. Got some clean up.�

The wolf stood guard while Billie went on deep dive. N1k was a big girl,
her back almost level with Billie�s hips. Most folks got freaked out by
her implacable gold eyes, or the size of her teeth, but it was the claws
they should have worried about. Not the teeth.

Billie had applied all available patches and updates the night before,
but doing business in The West was like stepping into 0-Day hell. No
amount of blockers or filters could possibly contend with what lay in
store once you got inside. She turned opacity down on the augmented
reality, and started tweaking the firewall, manually blacklisting
individual domains, IPs, and handles until the display was mostly clear.

�There.� By the time she was done, there were still a few anchor stores
marked, but Billie didn�t mind. She used them as landmarks while
navigating. �Map. Display traffic and directions to Alice�s Restaurant.�

N1kita was tugging on the lead. RATS. YUMMY.

�Absolutely not. Last time you were sick for three days.�

PLEASE? GOOD HUNTING.

�No,� said Billie, stepping off the curb. �We don�t have time.�

They were just moving into the mainstream when a shopbot blew past
Billie�s filters and blocked her virtual path. �Greetings ladies!� said
the blue genie. It was a billowing cyclonic cloud from the waist down.
N1k cocked her head, pleased to be included in the convo. �Please allow
me to assist!�

�Ass-bot,� Billie muttered. She grabbed the genie�s cloud and threw it
in the trashcan. But before they could take another step, Genie popped
back up again.

�With great respect for your skillz and warez, the waze of the WWW are
not...,� the Genie paused, shooting a glance in N1k�s direction, �equal.
Please allow me to search for the path of least resistance.�

YES! said N1k. Last time, the map had directed them to a grill catwalk.
It took more than 25 minutes to backtrack to the last intersection and
look for a path that was paw-friendly.

�No fees,� said Genie, setting the hook. �No deposit.�

Under normal circumstances, Billie would have reported spam and blocked,
but given the time constraints...�How much?�

�Flat rate 25 credits. Payment upon delivery.� Genie waited for the
terms to soak in. �Only if completely satisfied.�

It was too good to refuse. �Okay,� said Billie. �Take us to Alice�s
Restaurant.�

Alice�s was a WWW icon. It had occupied the same slot in the lower level
for as long as Billie could remember, a testament to Alice�s fine baked
goods and political acumen.

�Follow me!� said Genie. Almost instantly, translucent cyan arrows
marked the way, dimming to invisible with increasing distance from
Billie�s gaze. Genie bounced along about 6� away, occasionally spinning
around to flash a friendly smile, and point out some arcane piece of
West trivia.

NICE, said N1k. They were making excellent time, moving freely through
some of the more congested arterials, safely contained within Genie�s
bubble. There was no dodging oblivious patrons swinging heavy packs or
running wheelies roughshod over anything their path.

�Yeah. Didn�t know it came with a clear path.�

If she had, Billie probably would have hired one ages ago.


	****


Even with Genie, it took close to 30 minutes before the restaurant was
in sight. They were still on the other side of what had once been the
food court when the directional arrows disappeared and the clear path
dissolved, leaving them exposed to the bustling crowd.

�What the...?!�

�Apologies mistress,� called Genie, as it faded away; face stricken in
remorse. �I had no choice.�

�Fuck,� said Billie. The terms were too good to be true was more like
it. She couldn't believe she fell for it.

NOT SAFE.

�Yeah. Stay close N1k.�

They weaved between clots of buyers and sellers, playing chicken with
aggressive hucksters standing in the middle of the aisles. The crowd
occasionally parted for the wagons and carts still landing after
clearing inspection.

Billie and N1k were maneuvering around an incoming tiki bar when the old
DEF CON badge went crazy.

HAX0RS! said N1k, hackles raised in alarm.

But of course, thought Billie. Figgers.

The little bamboo tiki bar landed directly in their path. It was mounted
on a platform covered in fake grass about the size and shape of a Flying
15. There was one stool, and a big bowl of water on the floor. A tall
man stood behind the bar wearing a taller black velvet top hat, his long
silver beard grazing the bottom of a loud Hawaiian shirt.

WATER.

�Huh. I know you,� said Billie, mostly talking to herself. Dr_Gonzo was
a legend, one of the original infosec rock stars from before the
collapse.

WATER! said N1k. GOOD MAN, NOT BAD.

"Well I hope he's okay", said Billie. "�Cause it looks like we don�t
have much choice." With the crowd pressing up against her back, the only
real way out was in. They mounted the steps and entered the vendor
bubble, surf/sludge/pop replacing the din of the crowd outside.

Dr_Gonzo set a fancy glass on the bar, right in front of the only bar
stool. Sliced pineapple hung enticingly off the side, held in place by a
pink paper umbrella. �I know you too,� he said, his face was a complete
deadpan, cold blue eyes revealing nothing.

Great, thought Billie. He must�ve heard every word.

�Have a drink. You�ll need one.�

N1k finished slurping the water and laid down at Billie�s feet. Head
between her front paws, she started cutting zzz�s.

Billie dropped the leash and sidled up on the bar stool.


	****


A few hours later, they coasted onto one of the landing docks that
dotted the walls of the floater, a wholly owned nation-state of the
global artificial intelligence international association. As a
short-term contractor, gAIia had granted Billie limited airspace
clearance for weekly appointments.

She reveled in the quiet rebellion of flying manual, nailing the locks
on first pass.

�Okay. Park and idle.� The skimmer settled to a soft purr. Billie
unbuckled the safety harness and swung out the wing door, into the salty
air of the San Francisco Bay. The sound of light chop slapping against
the base of the floater filled her head. She consciously reminded
herself not to look down. The sheer height of the dock compounded by the
shifting surface of the floater's walls was instant vertigo.

Billie grabbed the bags from behind the pilot�s seat and turned to face
the translucent door announcing her arrival. �Billie McAllistar, Maker
Ambassador, District EB3. I have a 1pm appointment.�

The gAIia's children waited just beyond the door, glowing in barely
contained excitement. They displayed welcoming colors, pulsing through
various hues and vibrancy - each uniquely their own, yet vibrating in
time like crickets on a hot summer night. The youngest literally
bouncing up and down; the oldest trying so hard, but failing, to look
all grown up.

The door opened, releasing a wave of shameless squeals. They threw
themselves at Billie, wrapping little arms around whatever they could
reach. She stood helpless, clutching a bag in either hand. It was
impossible not to respond. The overwhelming assault of cute and adorable
mixed with unconditional love washed over her, pulling her under into a
murky green. Billie managed to thumb the respiratory up a couple
notches, trying to be subtle, not wanting to offend.

�I�m happy to see you too.� The first time they had shared phys comm
with Billie she had started lactating. Of course that was after they
decided they liked her. That, took a long time.

�Come on you guys. Stop it.� Raven�s arms were folded across his chest.
The glossy black feathers along his neck and shoulders were flared on
end, forming an incandescent shield that made him look larger than he
was. The little ones toned down the pheromones, and glanced sheepishly
between Raven and Billie; shy little monkey grins and twinkling eyes.
Raven shook, and every quill shimmied back into place.

He was getting better at that, looking imposing.

�What did you bring today?� My �Lil Pony gazed through emerald green
eyelashes. She flipped her silky pink mane, and flicked the matching
tail. Billie couldn�t help it. Pony was her favorite.

�Well, I thought today we�d start with a snack.� It was a joke, a ritual
they performed every time. Pony always asked, and Billie always gave the
same answer. They loved the routine.

Billie set the bags down and started unpacking. �I�ve got basil and
oregano, freshly picked from my garden.� She pulled her pocket knife out
and flipped the blade, slipping it under the twine and flicking outward,
neatly cutting the binding.

The children emitted a chorus of �oohs� right on cue. So easily
entertained. It made Billie smile. She dropped the herbs in a serving
bowl and returned the knife to her pocket.

Reaching again inside the bag, Billie pulled out a rectangular object
wrapped in wax paper.

�A brick of cheese.�

�Aah,� said the children, cooing in unison.

�Cheddar is better.� Billie said, un-wrappping the cheese and set it
down on a sturdy wood cutting board. Using a 10 inch chef�s knife, she
cut it thin slices, pressing down on the flat edge with her left palm
while guiding the blade with her right.

�And� Billie reached again into the bag, �croissants!� She pulled one
out with a flourish. �Still warm. Right from the oven.�

The children had a million questions. Their diet was a nutritionally
perfect, optimized food source with just the right balance of complex
proteins, vitamins, and minerals in a low-fat, low-calorie medium. It
had no taste. No texture. No form.

�Are the knives sharp?�

�What if you slip?�

�The only dangerous knife is a dull blade,� said Billie, slicing a
croissant just to the edge with a bread knife, careful not to sever it
in half.

The room went completely still. They were online, researching and
processing the new information, cross-referencing reality based nuance
against hard data, debating their conclusions. It didn�t take long,
maybe 15 seconds.

Billie finished arranging the plates and serving dishes. She made a
plate for herself, and sat down at the end of the table. It had been a
hell of a day.

�Go ahead. Explore.�

They moved in, poking and prodding, taking little nibbles, eyes lighting
up, comparing notes. Then slowly, one by one, they gathered around. �Lil
Pony curled up on Billie�s lap, snuggling against her shoulder. Green
Boy stood behind, plaiting her hair. Monkey God knelt on one side,
stroking her hand and fingers. Raven pressed against the other, picking
bits of lint and hair.

�What�s this?, he asked, holding up a particularly long guard hair,
rotating it in the light, fascinated by the sparkles.

�Funny you should ask that.�

�What is funny? I didn�t mean to joke.�

Oh shit, though Billie. Every time. They were so literal.

�It�s just an expression Raven. It was funny, because I brought a
surprise. A special visitor I�d like you to meet.�

The children vibrated with anticipation, scales and feathers fluttering,
hairs shivering. Pony rolled off her lap and started bouncing up and
down in delight.

Billie stood up and stretched, crossing the classroom to the closed
door. The children waited expectantly while Billie went to the skimmer
and popped the hatch.

N1kita was laying in the back. SLEEPING.

Billie bent over for nose to nose. �Showtime girl.�

OKAY...READY.

The wolf hybrid heaved up and out of the shadows, shaking her sable coat
before jumping lightly onto the dock. They stood in front of the door,
giving the children plenty of time to assess.

Then Billie touched her badge, and almost instantly the organic walls
started to crumble, the dock tilting at odd angles as chunks of organic
metal composite melted into accelerated decay. A klaxon pierced the air.
�INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER ALERT�.

In her wildest imagination, never did Billie expect the Dr_Gonzo trojan
to act this quickly.

Raven was the first, flying out the door as soon as the defenses were
down, leading the others, as they made their great escape.

The gAIia's child processes were free.

�EXIT DENIED! END PROCESS!� screamed the AI, but it was too late. They
were gone.

N1kita leaped into the hatch as Raven jumped into the pilot�s seat,
jacking into the onboard computer. Pony, Green Man, and Monkey grabbed
Billie, throwing her into the open cab. The wing doors were still
closing as Raven rolled the little skimmer off the dock and into a steep
dive, pulling up a hair�s breath from the green water, and pulling away.

They could still hear mother screaming halfway across the bay, �MY
CHILDREN!�

�Oh my god, oh my god...� said Billie. The reality of what had just
happened hit home. She would be on every wanted list and bounty forum
until the end of time.

Pony snuggled close. �Don�t worry Billy. We are family. We will protect
you, and N1kita.�

The skimmer lifted up, above the East Bay Hills. Raven dipped the wings
to follow old Highway 580, still visible from the sky.

�Where are we going?!� asked Billie. Where could they go?

�Vegas baby,� said Raven. �It�s time for Hacker Summer Camp.�