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I don't really know what got me thinking about it, but it's an important thing that needs to be answered.
So i guess the first thing that needs to be established before i start thinking about a definition of happiness is that this definition changes from person to person.
the second "axiom" is that even for a single person, this definition changes over time.
So, where do i start?
Well, i can start on the 4th of March, 2022.
My english exam went much better than expected; as i expected, the question paper was a trainwreck and nothing made sense.
However, I was able to still write much more than i expected, and i was actually able to complete the paper (which is already better than the preliminary exams).
looking at every year's papers, i knew that the papers were a dumpster fire every time (which is why the dumpster fire that was this year's paper was something i expected); however, nobody complained about the quality of the papers over the years, and i expected the same to happen this year.
this year however, people started to complain. complained really loudly at that. no idea what brought about this change, but i like it.
anyway, that was the beginning. after that paper, when everyone was leaving, we (a group of close to 30 students) decided to go by train together as a group (because why not; we haven't socialised or even met each other for the past two years, and most people travel by train anyway).
as you'd guess, organising 30 young adults to travel together impromptu is not easy; however, i had a lot of fun, and it was one of the better experiences of my life.
the meaning of happiness changes from person to person and from time to time; this means to come to a proper definition, i will have too look into myself and at my past to see what makes me happy.
what makes me happy, then?
being around people and co-operating with them to accomplish big things together makes me happy.
the feeling of completing an objective that was difficult to overcome is (for me) happiness.
going out with no plan in mind, just the feeling that i can do it; stepping out into the world with nothing but my moral compass to guide me; the immense sense of scale that hits me at that moment when i realise i can do whatever i want without anything of significance changing in the universe makes me happy.
doing something while being illuminated by the sun makes me happy.
travelling with the sea breeze in my face makes me happy.
I've had a fascination with trains ever since birth, and i still like them more than any other form of transport. being in trains makes me happy.
and last, but not least.
Looking at my life, both the good and the bad, lets me relive the hundreds of thousands of hours i've lived; i see everything i accomplished, and everything that stumped me as a kid; i can see multiple attempts at overcoming a challenge finally succeeding; i can see lots of really sad moments, and how i pulled myself through them successfully; how despite the impossibility of survival in my face, i got through to the other side; I can see the birthdays, weddings, funerals i've attended and how they've changed me as a person; i've seen how much i've learnt over the years, and how much i have lost in childhood innocence; I've seen how people have joined me for the jouney, and how people have left in search of better pastures elsewhere; I've seen the wheel of life turn and done my part in making it turn. feeling satisfied with what ive done and who i've become makes me happy.
I am happy.