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LaVey's Nine Satanic Statements
From _The Satanic Bible_
I. Satan represents Indulgence, instead of abstinence!
II. Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
III. Satan represents undefilied wisdom, instead of hypocritical self deceit!
IV. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted
on ingrates!
V. Satan represents vengence, instead of turing the other cheek!
VI. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern
for psychic vampyres!
VII. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better and
sometimes worse!
VIII. Satan represents all of the "so called" sins, as they all lead to
physical, mental and emotional gratification!
IX. Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept
them in business all these years!