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1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
2 ************************ INSTALLED: 6 JAN 86 ***********************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 no restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 privately owned, I retain thepright to remove any and all messages which
11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
13 to leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
16 The line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18 *************************************************************************
19
20 hi ya jim...i'm at the top!!!!!!!!!!!!
21 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
22 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( ripple )))
23 wow I am getting closer!!!!!!!!!!!
24 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( ripple )))
25 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$
26
27 One Long Saturday...
28 (Conclusion)
29
30 Amogo continued, "But certainly not torture! That would be uncivilized! We know that you were acting on behalf of
31 your world and your people, and a noble effort it was at that. To be completely honest, my comrades and I have
32 developed a fondness for you and we do have a special place in mind for you after the invasion. We have noticed that
33 your kind has a fondness for procreation. After we have domesticated your species, we will need to set up special
34 breeding facilities to keep the race from dying out. We can place you within one of these facilities and you will be
35 able to procreate to your heart's content for the rest of your life. Surely this will make you happy."
36 Under other circumstances he would have responded as anybody else might have but the events of the day had taken
37 its toll on his rationality. He was actually touched. "Gee, fellas, I don't know what to say..."
38 It was right then that the waiter brought the food. He set a huge pizza down in the middle of the table. A moment
39 later he brought the seven cokes and placed one in front of each of them. Jim picked up a piece and bit into it
40 hungrily. Through a mouthful, he mumbled, "Dig in." After they looked at him distrustfully he said, "No tricks. We do
41 actually eat this stuff."
42 Amogo cautiously picked up a piece and nibbled at it. He gave the okay and soon they were all munching on pizza.
43 The six aliens were chatting happily back and forth in their own language, leaving Jim out completely. He didn't mind.
44 He felt like being quiet at the moment. He was still trying to let it sink in that all this was really happening.
45 At least there was one good thing coming out of this. It would be nice to get laid whenever he wanted. He guessed
46 every pile of crap had a silver lining...
47 His train of thought was interrupted by a groan. One of the aliens had collapsed in his chair and was
48 semi-concious. The rest looked woozy. Concerned, Jim asked, "What is it? What's wrong?"
49 "Don't know." Amogo groaned, "Need to get back to the ship to analyze..."
50 "Right." Jim said. He threw a ten down on the table and got up. He had to carry the unconcious alien to the car
51 and the rest staggered behind him. On the way home he tried to think.
52 Was it delayed effects from his murder attempts? Maybe they picked up a germ from the scummy pondwater. Or
53 internal injuries from the explosion. Hell, maybe they got food poisoning. Jim suddenly felt a little ill himself but
54 he was sure it was just his imagination. He hoped.
55 He had to carry two aliens into the ship, ducking low as he walked up the ramp. The interior was much as he
56 imagined, all flashing lights and incomprehensible gadgets. The unconcious ones were taken off through a door too small
57 for him by their fellows. Amogo sat down in front of what looked like a computer console. His fingers flew deftly over
58 the keys. Suddenly there came pathetic wretching sounds through the door and it occured to Jim that he was probably the
59 first person in human history to actually hear a genuine alien puke its guts out. Somehow the significance of this
60 historic moment eluded him. It had been a long day...
61 Amogo swore in his own laguage. "That is it! Chemicals!"
62 "Chemicals?"
63 "Yes! Preservatives! Artificial ingrediants! By the great Gmork, how can you consume such substances?" He studied
64 the scrolling readout for another moment. "Some of the most lethal chemicals in the known universe are represented in
65 your foodstuffs!"
66 "Hell, I always liked their pizza."
67 The computer printed its findings and Amogo sighed. "I see. Obviously it doesn't affect you humans as intensely as
68 most intelligent beings. But it permeates the whole environment on this planet. Even without eating the local food,
69 anyone we sent woud last barely five rotations before succumbing."
70 It took Jim a moment to realize what Amogo was saying. "This means the invasion is off?"
71 "Yes." Amogo said sadly. "An invasion would be ill-advised."
72 Jim actually felt bad for him. "I'm sorry. Any way I could help?" It took him a moment to realize what he was
73 saying.
74 "No. We must leave immediately, or the effects will become terminal. It is unfortunate. I actually liked this
75 world."
76 Moments later Jim was standing by his back door watching the saucer slowly rise. Unlike most reported UFO's, it
77 had no outside lights and was totally silent (Guess they don't like to advertise, Jim thought.). Within moments it was
78 high overhead and he finally lost it against the dark sky. They were gone.
79 "Don't hurry back." he said softly, and went inside. He pulled a beer from the fridge and sat down at the kitchen
80 table, sipping it quietly. There had to be a moral to this somewhere. "Oh well," he said to himself, "I guess one man's
81 pizza is another man's... Naah." He was obviously more tired than he thought. He dumped the rest of the beer in the
82 sink and snapped off the light and headed for the bedroom.
83 With weekends like this he'd prefer no days off at all. Staving off an invasion was even harder than regular work.
84 Not even bothering to undress, he just collapsed full length on the bed. At least it's over, and he'll never have to go
85 through that again. That pleasant thought accompanied him all the way to wherever the sleeping mind goes.
86 It was just as well that he hadn't seen what had landed in the back yard right after he went in. Or the two eyes
87 on top of long green stalks that were peering in the window at that moment.
88 It was just as well...
89
90 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$# J.D. SILVERMAN $#$#$#$#$#$
91 OF
92 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
93 John Silverman: Thanks. I enjoyed the story!
94 Emu: Just be thankful that spell check doesn't happen any more. (On
95 second thought perhaps it should, you'd be amazed at how poorly most of
96 us spell -- as for fog index, I think I'm still the foggiest!)
97 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
98 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
99 Piper: I think you've got me beat (on the fog index).
100 John Silverman: A good story..... you should send it out.
101 Dr. Frankenstupe
102 +_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_
103
104 * HELLO *
105 EXIT
106 /EXIT
107 *********************************
108 * *
109 * *
110 * For sale or trade *
111 * TRS-80 Model I *
112 * SS/SD Disk Drive *
113 * RS-232C, LPVII Printer *
114 * *
115 * $200.00 or trade for *
116 * 100cps printer. *
117 * (503)2 245-xxxx (6-9pm) *
118 * Tim Moody *
119 *********************************
120 how is the best way to use this bbs as anew one? george wood 2837929
121 exit
122 HEY TIM: TANYA MIGHT NOT LIKE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!!
123 AND SILVERMAN, YOUR STORY SOUNDED A LITTLE LIKE WAR OF THE WORLDS, AND I
124 DONT MEAN TO INTEND THAT ITS IN THAT LEAGUE, BUT THAT
125 IS THE SAME WAY THE ALEINS DIED IN WAR OF THE WORLDS, FROM
126 NORMAL STUFF INTHE ATMOSPHERE AND STUFF. BUT NOT TOO WORRY, PIZZA
127 CAN BE DEADLY STUFF SOMETIMES, ITS JUST THATI THOUGHT I HEARD
128 IT ALL BEFORE SOMEWHERE, THE MILITAY CANT KILL THE INVADERS SO
129 SOME SINGLE PERSON ACOMPLISHES IT. I DON'T KNOW WHO
130 WOULD PUBLISHES SOMETHING LIKE IT, BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS
131 TRY. WAR OF THR WORLDS WAS A GOOD MOVIE TOO.
132 T.H.
133 G;N
134 ______________________________________________________________________________
135 And who says our educational system is in dire straits? I submit these compilations as
136 testimony to the debate, taken from children, newspapers, and teachers:
137
138 "This paper needs a few comas."
139 "When papa passed away they burned his ashes and brought them home in a urinal."
140 "We sat down to a picnic dinner of fricken chicasee."
141 "You shake milk in a big stirrer machine to make it homicidal."
142 "It was so hot during football practice that a lot of kids keeled over from nervous prostitution. Rusty Banazek broke
143 his clavichord in scrimmage."
144 "At the Knights of Columbus dinner, they will serve the same fish as last year."
145 "Tomorrow Helen Henry visits the home of a retired Navy Captain and his wife, an exotic U-shaped structure."
146 "LOST: Male cat. Needs medication. Owner very worried, neutered and declawed."
147 "Winners at the card party were William Davenport, a turkey, and Mrs. Trudy Baker, a chicken."
148 "Dear Teacher: Stanley had to miss some school. He had an attack of whooping cranes in his chest."
149 "Dear Teacher: Lynda was away as she had stripe infection."
150 "Dear Teacher: Please excuse the stink on Bill's clothes. We've been spraying the garden because it is full of
151 abnoxus incests."
152 "Dear Teacher: Please excuse Jane. She had an absent tooth. Wednesday she will have an appointment with the
153 orinthologist."
154 "Dear Teacher: Please excuse my daughter's absence for the past week, as she had a case of the fool."
155 ____________________________ A WORD FROM THE WISE - PART XX __________________
156
157 and now, a new form of birth control...................
158 Chuckle of the day...
159
160 O O
161 N N
162 \ /
163 C====C
164 / \
165 ON--C C--NO
166 \\ //
167 C---C
168 / \
169 N N
170 O O
171
172 How does it work?
173 It says NO in every position.
174
175 Chuckle of the day...
176 ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////99
177 I would think, in my opinion, it appears that the above creation could lack a distinct form of what some may call humor.
178 ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
179
180 Liked your story, Silverman. Delta Five
181 O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+ POPPING IN O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+
182 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
183 I HAVE A DISK II DRIVE
184
185
186
187
188
189 REPACE
190 REPLACE
191 RUBOUT
192 EXIT
193
194
195
WELCOME TO BWMS (BACKWATE
196 TYE 'HELP' OR 'LIST' TO S
197
198 The sun was just starting to slip below the horizon, casting an orange glow across the
199 surface of the glassy sea. On the beach, date palms swayed in the gentle south sea breeze, their
200 shadows wavering in time, growing longer only to
201 disappear under a purple velvet sky as darkness
202 enveloped the island. Faint rustlings in the tropical forest behind, nocturnal creatures in
203 search of prey, night birds echoing their plaintive cries, seeking their mates. In the distance the
204 splash of a waterfall, faintly heard by the two men sitting on the sand. The small fire before them
205 had died down, and glowing embers sparkled as drops of windborne surf dropped in their midst.
206 The serenity of the moment was broken as one man spoke, a quiet urgency inflected in his otherwise
207 calm manner. "It's confirmed. Overlook commenced." The other man smiled silently to himself. He was
208 satisfied. He had done the impossible. "Do you realize what you have..." He stopped. Of course
209 he realized. He had planned it that way. "Look, I don't want any part of this. If you could have heard
210 what the secretary had to say AFTER everyone else had left..., I mean My God, man, you just can't go around
211 forcing the President of the United States to cater to your own..." He was cut off by the other man, and was relieved to
212 He wished he hadn't said anything, but his outrage was not easily contained. "It worked, did it not?"
213 He continued. "If the White House hadn't blown my cover three years ago, they, WE, wouldn't be in this position."
214 They made our bed, and now we must all lie in it, he mused. The wind had picked up a bit. Far
215 offshore he heard the clanging of a bell buoy.
216 Delta Five cracked open another can of Budweiser. He picked up a small branch, and poked at the fire.
217
218 "Yeah, I guess I did stir things up a bit, he said to the man with the two stars on his collar. Well,
219 I want McKane, and I shall have McKane."
220 The General glowered at him, the irritation in his voice bordering on outrage. "And then what, Eric?"
221 It had been a long time since Delta Five had heard anyone use his name, and he reflected on other times.
222 "Then, my dear General, I will come in. I will go back to work for the agency. Who is to say otherwise?"
223 Who is to take the obvious risk of NOT allowing me to return?"
224
225 The last rays of the sinking sun highlighted the trail of black smoke as the Lear swept across the
226 Western sky.
227 The General stood up, and watched as the silhouette disapperaed beyond the horizon.
228 Officially, he opposed this rogue agent with an unparalleled audacity. Personally,... he wished
229 his old friend success
230 [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] [*=*]
231 [*=*] DELTA FIVE [*=*] [*=*] [*=*]
232 Help me crashproof my bbs system, I welcome you to try.......................
233 My number is 636-xxxx and i believe i can finally keep the crashers out. Im so confident i invite you hackers out there
234 to give it a try....Thanks
235 Jason Thorn
236 ********************************************************************************Master Sysop of T-Comm Color graphics bo
237 ards Inc.... If you are interested in buying crashproof graphic software like
238 mine leave a note in the op's feedbag.
239 OK?
240 Got it all you would be hackers!
241 Thats spelled' Crash proof' ,finally, whew!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^636-xxxx 7/24 only pd software.
242 ################################################################################""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
243 """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
244
245 OK
246 WE
247 Will
248 Try
249 To
250 Crash
251 Your
252 Board!
253 What a strange request?
254
255
256
257
258
259
260 ************** 636-xxxx ************* 636-xxxx ************ 636-xxxx ***********
261 [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[Long winded are those that do not have m
262 uch to say or do with their spare tim.
263 Sems to hold true here. I have never seen such poor writing in such abundance.
264 Until this board........................................................................................................
265 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@I think i like random patterns better th
266 an the logic flow of the stories.///////////////////////////////////////////////
267
268 /=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/
269 '/| DELTA V - If you are still out there
270 |````//| looking for me, I'm still here. Just
271 |```///| Check with your MINOX for the pattern
272 |\`////| to the left, it should give you the face
273 |\\////| you are looking for. What's that, the
274 |\\\///| emulsion is damaged on that particular
275 |`\\\/'| image? Mmmm, better luck next term.
276 |``\\''| Piner.
277 /=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/
278
279 i want another story...i want another story....
280 _______________________________________________________
281 {}
282 To: "Abundance"
283 We all gotta start someplace... maybe you should give it a shot yourself.
284 {}
285
286 ______________________________JD 2446438.5931______________________________
287 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
288 Picky: Oops! I guess that I better pull out my speller after all. We all
289 over confident every once in a while...
290 J.D.S.: That didn't happen to be a Pizza Slut ('scuse me, "Hut") did it?
291 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.Emu
292 Mr. Silverman: Bravo! +Dante-
293
294 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
295 JUST CHECKING IN, NO TIME TO STIR UP TROUBLE TONIGHT
296 +++++++++++++++++++++000000001TED++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
297
298 01/07/86.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.003
299
300 Miranda could hardly believe that she had let herself be
301 captured so easily! With all of her supposed powers, someone slips
302 right up from behind and surprises her. "Let that be a lesson!" she
303 admonished herself. "Now, to get myself out of this mess..."
304 "Quit that mumbling!" the old man barked. Miranda didn't even
305 realize that she had been talking out loud. She started thinking
306 quietly to herself.
307 "If I used a transformation, I could get rid of the ropes. But
308 then what?" Illusion seemed to be the obvious choice, but she'd never
309 tried a full sensory illusion on another person like what she'd need
310 now. Little noises and such were fine, but how could that help her now?
311 She decided to try a warm-up.
312 The old man looked to the sound of the fly. "Huh? Where is that
313 thing?" The sound stopped, and he went back to his cards. She tried it
314 again, and giggled quietly as he jumped up to slap at the sound.
315 Sitting back down, the old man grumbled to himself. "Damn bugs.
316 Nuthin' like get'n stuck watchin' a load o' little girls and big flies.
317 What am I doin' in this rat infested hole anyway?" Back at the cards,
318 he drew a couple more cards and came up with the queen of hearts.
319 Fingering it, a smile slithered across his face and he glanced over at
320 Miranda, obviously the oldest and most mature of the girls in the shack.
321 He knew what the queen of hearts could mean. Miranda felt the glance
322 become a long lewd stare.
323 Curious to see what card would follow, he drew again. Miranda
324 made sure that the card he saw was the ace of spades. The grin melted
325 to a frown as he slipped the black card under the deck. Miranda relaxed
326 just a little.
327 She looked around the room to get a better idea of her
328 surroundings. There were two doors, one to the outside and one
329 presumably to a back room. The one window near the outside door was
330 cracked and partly covered with a dirty sackcloth. One table, one
331 chair, both being used by the old man, and an oil lantern on the table.
332 The shadows from the lamp flickered over the other girls on the floor as
333 if to animate their silent bodies with the changing light. A couple of
334 empty wine sacks lay crumpled in a back corner. Miranda's little pack
335 was no where to be seen. "I must have dropped it when I got hit," she
336 thought.
337 The door suddenly opened, and both she and her guard jumped at
338 the sound. In came two other men, struggling with a large figure.
339 "Now, don't drop her. We don't want to damage the merchandise."
340 "Oh, come on! If you hadn't picked such a big one... besides, I
341 told you the big ones don't get near as good a price. Hey, Georgio, you
342 still awake? Close the door, huh?" They set the girl down.
343 "The ship's gonna be here this morning, isn't it?" asked Georgio.
344 "Yep, and we gotta make these pretties look good, or we'll get
345 stuck with the whole lot of 'em." said the first. "Did you remember the
346 oil for the rope burns?" Georgio shook his head. "Damn it, Georgio,
347 you have to do something to earn your share. Look, we don't have much
348 time. The boat should be here as soon as its dawn. Angelo, you take
349 Georgio and meet it as it comes in. I'll get things ready here." They
350 left, Georgio following grudgingly behind Angelo. "Now, what to do..."
351 There were now seven girls on the floor, and Miranda was the
352 farthest from the door. She watched as the big man that was left look
353 over the girl closest to the door. A different guard now, but Miranda
354 thought that she was ready to try. She had decided what to do, and she
355 knew that she had to do it now.
356 The moment he touched the first girl's bindings, his hands
357 seemed to flare white hot. He whipped his hands away and waved them
358 about as if to cool them, but the sensation remained. He looked at the
359 girl, and his eyes and ears told him that the hair was now writhing
360 snakes, hissing and circling, trying to strike out at him. He looked at
361 the other girls, and they had all changed into night-marish demons.
362 Then he saw the one on the end, rising up as a fog, grinning and
363 cackling at him as if a messenger from hell. The figure stared at him
364 and said one word to him: "Leave!" He heeded the advice.
365
366 Miranda slumpt to the floor exhausted. She'd never performed
367 such an elaborate illusion before and didn't realize what kind of drain
368 it was. There was more that she had to do though, so she concentrated.
369 The ropes on the other girls soon dissolved to dust, but this time not
370 nearly as easy as hers did before the illusion.
371 Gathering her strength, Miranda got up to leave. There was
372 little more that she could do for the other six girls now but call for
373 the constable.
374
375 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
376 Picky: how's my spelling this time?
377 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.Emu
378 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\379
380 On 10 Jan, look in your box. You will have mail\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
381 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
382 Dr F: Ah, well, the fog of the writing reflects the clarity of the thought!
383 Emu: I'm hooked. Please continue the story!
384 New persons: Best way to break in is to observe for a time, then try your
385 hand. No comment should be taken as approval. Be prepared for some acid
386 comments, thicken your skin, and take constructive criticism as it is meant.
387 Ignore destructive comments and persevere -- you get to be an old-timer
388 around here pretty fast. Good luck, and I'll be watching for your writing.
389 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
390 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\mail box?\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\?????\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
391 -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+-
392 I haven't got the foggiest! I came in 41 out of 41 with a 2.9 -- ha!
393 -+- -+- -+- -+- -sure, I kept track!- -+- -JUGGLER- -+- -+-
394
395 Emu: Didn't notice a word. Glad to have been part of helping you improve
396 yourself!
397
398 To Abundance: there's nothing worse than criticizing others works without in any
399 way substantiating the claim. If you're gonna be so critical, at least give
400 some advice
401 from your obviously superior intellect. Just jumping in and saying everyone
402 is lousy only reflects on the quality of your opinion, not of their writing.
403 Besides, if we start getting paid for this stuff, then you can talk like that,
404 otherwise, keep that kind of nonsense to yourself as we're just struggling
405 amateurs having fun.
406
407 Silverman: As most have agreed, a funny, and fun, story. Also agree with the
408 above that War of the Worlds came to mind, which is no problem as far as I'm
409 concerned. Might be saleable, but keep in mind that a fun story is a long long
410 way from one that will sell to a amagzine. Rewrites, rewrites, rewrites, and
411 then a few more oughta do it...
412
413 Mr. Picky
414 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ TSSC @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
415
416 All right all you college smarties. Tell me this one: when is it proper to use
417 'that', and when should you use 'which' ?
418 I.E.: "Coke is the one THAT refreshes,"
419 or: "Coke is the one WHICH refreshes."
420
421 It seems to me that "that" is overused, in speech most people say "He is the
422 one THAT said that," when it should be, "He is the one WHO said that."
423
424 But are which and that interchangeable?
425 Fill me in oh learned ones...
426
427 I also have noticed that 'its' and 'it's' are often screwed up. It's a strange
428 exception, but "it's" is used to mean 'it is' and the possesive stays without
429 the " ' " mark. The english language:
430 It's strange in its ways, indeed!
431
432 so that or which or both or what???????????????????????
433
434 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
435
436 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
437 THE DAILY DITTO
438 Bringing newsworthy news to new newsreaders
439
440
441 GENERAL MEETS WITH OUTCAST SECRET AGENT
442 By Franklin Pervis
443
444 My sources have revealed that a high ranking army general has actually met and
445 given approval to the activities of that international criminal, Delta V. It
446 is rumored that Delta V is holding both the President and several American
447 cities hostage unless his demands are met.
448 Other government agencies are not commenting on the Delta V situation, but my
449 sources tell me that nearly every branch of the U.S. government special
450 services are on top alert for this agent, Delta V.
451 The General is as yet, unidentified. Pictures of the meeting were taken on an
452 undisclosed South Seas island, but the vessel carrying our photographer suddenly
453 disappeared in international waters just fifteen minutes after radioing the
454 message that the film was on its way. The Coast Guard is dismissing the
455 disappearance as another 'Bermuda Triangle'-type incident, but this reporter
456 believes that foul play was involved.
457
458 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
459 Delta: downloads have certainly added to the descriptiveness (and use of
460 adjectives) of your writing!
461 ***
462 Beauty if in the eye of the beholder.
463 Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do.
464 *** SOME SIMPLE 'SAGE' ADVICE.
465 ch/if/is
466 It's hard to be ea sage when you can't even spell IS.
467 That just illustrates my point.: Nobody's perfect.
468 ***
469 //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
470 mutual admiration - mutual admiration - mutual admiration among friends.
471 WELL, SOMETIMES I JUST LOG ON AND TYPE IT IN AS I MAKE IT UP. OTHER TIMES I UPLOAD; WHEN
472 I HAVE THE TIME. THIS PERVIS GUY IS DREAMING...
473 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
474 ...then how about the ST title, "That (oops) "That Which Survives"? I believe that the phrase
475 "COKE is the one THAT refreshes" is the correct usage. I generally tend
476 to think that the word "that" is for things, ie rocks, animals in a
477 general sense, vegetables, etc. when ... (open mouth, insert foot). Excuse
478 me, but it really depends upon the context. If the statement is answering
479 the question "Which one is the Coke?", the answer should be "Coke is the
480 one THAT refreshes." If the question is "Which is the refreshing drink?"
481 the answer could be "Coke is the one WHICH refreshes me", or dropping the
482 "me" when it's (notice the proper usage of "it's) understood who is
483 , pardon me, whom is refreshed. Personally, I can't stand Coke, Pepsi, or
484 any other 'cola'. Give me Squirt, or give me death!
485 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>...psu-cs!nelsons<><>
486 ______________________________JD 2446439.5932______________________________
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