💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › thepasca.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:25:53.
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------------------------------------------ the Pascal Programmer and the C Programmer ------------------------------------------ By Shooting Shark - Tiburon Systems. 6/24/86 Summary : Never mind... Favorite Shirt Pascal programmer: Izod Pin-Striped button down. $34 at Brook's. C programmer: Hanes T-shirt with message: "Life is like break-dancing. I can't do it." Favorite TV Program Pascal programmer: Toss-Up between "Family Ties" and "Murder She Wrote." C programmer: Toss-Up between "WWF Hour" and "David Letterman." Most Exciting Thing That Happened To Him Last Summer C programmer: Got laid by a gorgeous blonde 4 hours after he met her on the beach. Pascal programmer: Found a clock card at a swap for only $8. Best Programming Achievement Pascal Programmer: Wrote relational database for VAX under VMS. C programmer: Super Star Wars simulation game, once he gets it finished. Pascal Programmer: makes $28,000 annually after taxes. C programmer: Could make up to $35,000 if he came into work more often. Time He Does His Best Work Pascal programmer: early in the morning, like 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. C programmer: early in the morning, like 3 a.m. to 5 a.m. Favorite Editor C programmer: vi. Pascal programmer: TECO. What he'd like to write Pascal programmer: An electrical system management program for large factories. C programmer: an automatic password hacker that dials his home phone number and leaves a message on his answering machine whenever it hacks a password. Pascal programmer: Currently grad student at Stanford. C programmer: Went to Heald for a while. Read the K&R 'C' text. Pascal programmer: shaves with a Remington Micro-Screen that his father gave him. C programmer: Uses a new Bic throw-away every three days. Pascal programmer: Has a Labrador Retriever named Rex. C programmer: Has three cats and a goldfish. Pascal programmer: Drives a Honda Accord. C programmer: Would drive his VW if he could afford to get the transmission fixed. Now he rides his ten-speed. Pascal programmer: appalled by movies in which insane drifters murder college coeds. C programmer: seeks them out. What He Does on Sunday Morning Pascal programmer: drives down to the 7-11 and picks up a newspaper. C programmer: Walks down to the 7-11 and buys a "Big Gulp." Pascal programmer: works as a software engineer for a silicon valley firm. C programmer: Puts together and sells IBM PC clones. Pascal programmer: owns a Compupro S-100 system with 256k RAM and 35 megabyte hard drive and a 1200 baud modem. C programmer: owns two Timex-Sinclairs, an Atari 600xl, a Commodore 64, An Apple //e (with a 2400 baud modem) and a Commodore Amiga. Has an Imsai sitting in the garage. Job Security Pascal programmer: Has been told he'll make Vice-President since his Accounting Package is selling so well. C programmer: Has patched 3 logic bombs into the company VAXes operating system. His way of saying, "just wait until they fire ME!" Pascal programmer: Went to the University last week to hear Niklaus Wirth speak on "Hashing as a database table lookup method." C programmer: Has a season ticket to the University's Women's Basketball games. Pascal programmer: Gets up at 6:30, eats a bowl of Grape Nuts, walks his dog, then drives to work. C programmer: Wakes up at the crack of noon. Except when his cat jumps on his chest at the ungodly hour of 10 a.m. What He Does on a Saturday Morning Pascal programmer: Changes the ribbon on his lq printer, then takes the kids to the park. C programmer: Takes apart his joystick, then cruises down to the beach. That's it... (for volume one, at least.) X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm) & the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845 Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649 Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766 realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043 Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102 Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives, arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality, insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS. Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are, where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother. "Raw Data for Raw Nerves" X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X