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The Hotel California [312] 234-6237
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[+] [+]
[+] The Sysop's Guide to Loozers, Leeches, Rodents [+]
[+] ---------------------------------------------- [+]
[+] Written By: The Hitcher [+]
[+] [+]
[+] Dedicated to: Assassin's Knot [+]
[+] [+]
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Preface:
This file is written to help sysops find, search, and destroy,
loozers, leeches, and rodents. This file also mentions specific examples of
people (Including names)...and is also meant to offend these people in question
and any C0m0d0rk user reading this, Thank You.
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Chapter 1: Introduction
Generaly speaking there are 3 types of boards, with different type of paracites attached.
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Chapter 2: Paracites
Loozer:
A). A typical person who just got their modem for their birthday and without
knowledge tries to become a pirate.
B). A person who is 13 yrs old or younger with a high voice is a true sign of a
loozer.
C). Anyone who goes around doing very stupid things (backspcing 10 minutes,
posting stupid info. etc.).
Ex. A). A guy by the name of Gett Smartt or The Chief.
Ex. B). A very high voiced fag named Black Venom (2600htz).
Ex. C). Black Venom, Party Animal, Poor Man, Stile of Infinity, Chief
Investigtor, Shiek of L. A., and Dragon Tamer are very good examples
of this.
Leech:
This mostly aplys to a BBS which is a primarily a U/L | D/L system.
A). A person who continually D/Ls' without even considering U/Ling.
B). Some one who consistantly calls boards and doesn't post for years.
Ex. A). Don't personaly know anyone who fits this description.
Ex. B). Ditto.
Rodent:
A rodent is a combination of all of these types of people.
A). A person who prank calls you when you are modding your board.
B). A person who doesn't fit under catagories 1 & 2.
Ex. A). A fag by the name of the Shadow.
Ex. B). There are so many that I lose my count.
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Chapter 3: The "Ideal" User
Now, lets look at the qualities of a good user.
U/L D/L system only:
A). He U/Ls the same amount of times he D/Ls.
B). Or U/Ls more than he D/Ls (Rarely found).
U/L D/L system with sub boards:
A). He D/Ls more than he U/Ls providing he posts some good information.
B). He posts more than he D/Ls or U/Ls.
Sub board system only:
A). He posts information (Good information) about 3 times in every 8 calls.
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Chapter 4: The "Ideal" paracite
This chapter describes how the 3 classes of paracites act on BBSs'.
U/L D/L systems are where you find the most Leeches, etc. so that is what I am focussing on.
A). Loozer
1). He puts fake files up on the Fur/Ae which are not to be out for years
just so he can D/L.
2). He posts shit that he does not have on the available list.
B). Leech
1). He simply doesn't U/L.
2). He tries to con the sysop into letting him get a 4 side game saying
that he will then U/L Ultima XXXXVVVVIIII and just hangs up.
C). Rodent
- NOTE* - Rodent and Leeche go hand and hand and they are very much the same.
1). Refer to "B"
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Chapter 5: How to eliminate the above
This chapter GENERALY describes the methods most commonly used to eliminate the above.
A). Loozer
1). Just face him with the facts and kick him off.
2). Tell him to first "Fuck Off Loozer" then do the above.
- NOTE* - If this is a 13yr old or younger case of loozer, just tell him, "You
are too young to be in the pirate world sonny" and hang up.
- NOTE* - He will probly convert to a rodent (Which will be described later) and
start doing rodent things.
B). Leech
1). Ok, just warn him (if you have any feelings for him) and tell him to
start doing shit (this is of course if he is young enough to belive
you).
2). Put him on the rag board.
3). Kick the little bastard off and prank his number with Micro Pranker.
C). Rodent
1). Kick him off right away.
2). Put him on the rag board.
3). Call him a Judge Dredd then do the above.
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Chapter 6: Etc.
This chapter highlights the main things that Loozers, Leeches and Rodents do on BBSs' that would qualify them to be dealt with as the above.
A). Loozer
1). He does 10 mins (Average 10) of backspcing on his messages.
2). He posts "I have a metro, wanna trade?"
3). He posts wares that are moldier than his dead great grandmother's
great grandmother's first tampon.
B). Leech
1). He signs his name with <L8r, Cyoul8r, CUL8r, etc> (also typical
loozer signature).
2). He posts lame want adds for wares.
C). Rodents
1). Refer to the above.
2). Has such words as K-K00l, 0, ph---, ---z etc. in their vocabulary.
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Chapter 7: Computer relations (& modems)
Ok, this one describes the computers and modems that are alowed on a
respectable BBS. (Idea derived from Dr. Arcane)
Computers:
Apple (Family): A cool person (obviously) - No disconnection what so ever
unless he fits under the above descriptions.
IBM: Pretty cool people, respectable computer, rarely worth shit on an Apple
board - Some disconnection aplicable.
C0m0d0rk: Other than instant dissconnection, they are real loozers and
shouldn't even attempt to call an Apple board.
Tandy: Kinda a cross between C0m0d0rk and IBM. (You decide)
Timex Sinclair (hahahah): Faster than instant disconnection, multiply C0m0d0rk
times 10 and you got Timex.
Atari: A cross between IBM and Apple - Moderate disconnection.
Modems:
Cat (Family): The way to go as they say - No disconnection.
Micro Modem (Family): Ranks second in the race of modems, normaly cool people,
very scarce disconnection.
Volks Modem: A few cool people - Very common disconnection.
Apple: Fair people, some disconnection.
Any 110 baud modem: Instant disconnection, you shouldn't even be asking this.
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Chapter 8: The "Ideal" board
Guess what this one is?
Good Board:
10 megs at least.
Plenty of files and subs.
U/L D/L opt.
Clock opt.
Multi Line w/ Multi chat opt.
Good popularity.
Goos sysop.
Good Board: For those who don't have the $$ for the above.
At least 2 drives and a ramdisk.
Good sysop.
Good popularity.
Subs that get action on them.
A file or two opt.
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Chapter 9: Lame boards
Decide for yourself, considering the above information.
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Chapter 10: Summing up
Well I'm at the end of all I can think about now, watch out for the next issue
(out in a few months)
Adios
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[+] Give these cool boards a ring [+]
[+] [+]
[+] Hitcher's Galaxy ..................................... 213-393-0781 [+]
[+] FACEmaster's ......................................... 619-948-4002 [+]
[+] Panther Board ........................................ 805-252-8488 [+]
[+] [+]
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Written by: The Hitcher
Volume #1 of 1
_____________________________________________________________________________
"The Sysop's Guide to Loozers, Leeches, and Rodents"
is an On-Line Enterprises (TM) presentation
_____________________________________________________________________________
Date: 08.09.85 - 12:28 PM PST
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