💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › nightlec.hum captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:20:53.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
___________________________________________________________________________ / /| /__________________________________________________________________________ / | | | | | The | | | Night | | | of | | | The Leeching Dead! | | | | | | -By Apple Core | / |__________________________________________________________________________|/ The story starts out with our pleasant sysop, Weatherman. He's an all around dude, who parties every friday night, drinks his Molsen, and has a good time of it. He also runs his BBS in the meantime. However, tonite is going to be the worst friday of his life..... Friday, May 15th, 8:16 p.m. Apple Core (Me) has just signed off of the Weatherstation to go on his trip to Ocean City. Soon after I had packed my stuff away (Including a Blotto box, 2 6-packs of Coors, and an electric tooth- brush), I get a call from Adam Bomb. "Oh, my GOD! Have you heard what happened to Weatherstation?!",he yelled. I replied,"No. I just got off 1/2 hour ago...". "It's been infested with LOSERS! Nooooooo! They're leeching all of his wares! I mean EVERYTHING!". I thought for a moment, recollected my cool, and thought of possible ways that a loser could've gotten onto WS. "Can't think of any POSSIBLE way a leech could've gotten on. Quick, get those bombs you made last summer, and call up Rotten Apple! We'll meet at the mall in 5 mins." Soon, all three of us were at the mall, armed with nuclear power packs and lightning rods. If any loser came along, we'd fry it! Two of the crazed zombies stalked towards us, and they got dropped, but many more were on their way! We used the "How to Hotwire Cars" g-phile to our advantage since we were still at the mall. In 15 mins. we were at Weatherman's house, where he had already made enough cocktails out of Molsens to make a pretty good size inferno. We hit the highway in the same pickup that we hotwired. AB in the back made some craters behind us to keep them from following. We heard "K-RAD...K00L...AWESUM" in the distance as waves of those brain-damaged demons chanted. Quickly,Weatherman blasted his Metallica tape to keep their possessive chanting from controlling our minds! Nowhere, no one, and nobody was safe from their evil cletches, until... We arrived at Emdy Pirates HQ. All of the Emdy's were assembled in a huddled mass, wondering what to do. Finally, an idea was heard. "We shall terminate every phone line in the U.S. When they realize that there are no more of their 'K-rad' boards to call, they will eventually die off." Shouts of glory were heard as we went on our way to the nearest telephone pole. Rotten Apple climbed up the rungs, as I tossed him the Blotto box I had packed away. After the setup had been checked he came back down and witnessed the unbelievable feat. Sparks flew everywhere as the sky lit up with lightning that singed the air with ozone! Bolts struck here and there, cutting those bitches to ribbons! For 25 mins. the electricity raged, burning any trace of losers, leechers, and the like where they stood. And for 25 mins. the world rejoiced.... However, what were we to do w/o phone lines ourselves? We only hoped that C&P was as reliable as they said they were. In a matter of days, all the lines were restored, all the boards had been given a good housecleaning, and there were no leeches for once. Ahhh... The sound of a board no longer busy from the commies who logon long enough to see the 'Other AE's' list, and then logoff. However, I'm sure there are still a FEW more of those assholes left. But we'll be ready.... ....Emdy Pirates.... "Exterminating losers on sight" Weatherstation......301/661-9355 1.5 megs Terminal Obsession..301/298-0094 GS AE! Razor's Edge(CtC)...301/561-6161 20 megs Falcon's Lair.......201/330-9104 22 megs