💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › modemuse.hum captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:19:36.
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Field Guide To Modem Users.... The Sysop + Faster than a speeding bullet + More powerful than a locomotive + Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound + Walks on water + Gives policy to God The Co-Sysop + Just as fast as a speeding bullet + Almost as pwerful as a locomotive + Able to leap short buildings in a single bound + Walks on water with favorable weather conditions + Talks to God The Board Sysop + Almost, but not quite, as fast as a speeding bullet + More powerful than a raging bull + Able to leap short buildings with a running start + Swims well + Talks to God after submitting special permission slip The Privileged User + Wounds self when trying to shoot bullet + More powerful than an electric train + Crashes into buildings while trying to leap over them + Dog paddles + Talks to self The Generic User + Not issued ammunition + More powerful than a toy poodle + Able to leap tall anthills in a single bound + Wades adequately + Argues with self The Utter Loser + Almost as fast as the U.S. Postal Service + More powerful than the stench of unwashed socks + Recognizes buildings two out of three times + Drowns in toilet bowl + Argues with self -- and loses!! The Advice Lady + Catches bullets in her teeth, chews them up, and spits out nails + Derails locomotives and throws them over her shoulder with her little finger + Lifts buildings off their foundations and walks under them + Drinks oceans dry on a single breath + SHE IS GOD!! Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open